Santa Claws Sees You When You're Sleeping - Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS)

this might be one of the best things i've ever made i call him santa claus and of course the elves have decided to unionize they want workers rights and safety protocols and stuff like that no no no you work in the sweat shops or north pole as we call it or you become reindeer meat your choice holy crap that must hurt who's been naughty who's been nice who's never gonna be found under the ice [Music] what's up guys welcome back to totally accurate battle simulator that game where the battles aren't really totally accurate they haven't been for a very long time actually i think it's only going to get worse now because the developers finally released the unicreator which means anyone can go and make anything and of course i went and made some real messed up stuff which is what we're gonna be screwing around with today we'll start things off nice and simple with a totally accurate pimp i think i actually called this unit pimp daddy and i gotta say i'm oddly satisfied with them he's nothing flashy but like he's got his cane for keeping hoes in line he's got his glock for defending him and right now he's got a problem with these friggin renaissance painters they think that they can just paint your french girls and not pay completely unacceptable we're gonna have to put them in line pimp daddy oh right i completely forgot that they can dodge projectiles even before bullets were invented okay well fortunately that's what makes this unit unique he's both a melee unit and a ranged unit so he should be able to give him a good caning and pop some caps and knees and stuff thank you pimp daddy this probably won't come as a surprise to many of you guys but pimp has been having beef with cupid for a long time now he's trying to sell love meanwhile cuba's just giving it away no he's throwing off supply and demand so of course it was only a matter of time until all the pimps came together and unionized to take out the cupids which i imagine is what's about to happen right there's no way cupid is gonna stand a chance no we've got a few pimps who have their suede suits nut to butt with one another but who would have guessed that bullets would be super effective against a flying man in a diaper even with all those canes why do i get the feeling pimp just bit off way more than he can chew i wanted him to face off against some hoes but i don't think artemis appreciates being called that i would say that all these dynamite maidens in the front are gonna get blown away but artemis is gonna have a word or two uh artemis is different she's got like a bulbasaur upgrade all of a sudden she's just firing leafy arrows interesting i didn't think that they changed any of the pre-existing units with this update but maybe i'll have to explore them a little bit she's absolutely crucifying them yup go figure all the cheerleaders are different too look at you they look so good now this is exactly why i don't read the update logs because i just love being surprised so let's try the new artemis against a hundred halflings everyone's favorite crash test dummy i just want to see what these new arrows do it seems like they act the same as any other railroad just a little cosmetically diff branch what the hell was that i was gonna say did her butthole just inhale but she fired a tornado lo and behold like a fart in the wind the hobbits got blown away that is so cool she's way better now too she can actually take out entire groups a whole lot faster oh are they alive i thought they were dead please tell me some of them are alive and you're about to shoot them off the wall oh wait are they alive in the wall they're alive in the wall yep she's having a hard time figuring out what's going on give her a second she might be able to pin the tail on the donkey here no it wouldn't be an update to tabs if something didn't break right off the bat i don't think i could have asked for more perfect time to finally mention in a video that i've got my very own captain sauce figure coming out and i have a hard time believing that this silly youtube channel of mine can finally say something like that but this is the way it's gonna work on november 27th noon pst at youtubes.com product slash captain sauce orders are going to open and they're going to be extremely limited i don't know if they're going to sell out in a week or a day or an hour but once they're sold out that's it the order is placed you'll never be able to get one again even i won't be able to get one again so i'm getting like a dozen just to be safe some of you guys probably saw this on the community tab already but they're also giving away like half a dozen figures leading up to the release so you can go to captainsauce.youtube.com and enter a chance at winning one of those but the biggest thing that i wanted to make really clear and i wanted to take the time in a video to say is that i tried so so hard to make it so that this would be something that's in people's hands on christmas day for something they could receive as a gift something they could give as a gift but i don't think that's gonna be the case like these are pre-orders if you place an order you're guaranteed to get it but odds are it's not gonna ship until like the beginning of january i wanna say it says on their website march but that's just because like you can't predict these things like with covid there's no way of telling when stuff is going to get made if it's going to be allowed to get shipped into the country or not it's just so incredibly soul-crushing i was really disappointed but i didn't want to call it off because it's still like the coolest thing to have ever happened to my channel i'm not gonna lie and i'm special they sent me an early prototype and i gotta show this to you guys i'm probably not going to show you guys everything in great detail i want to leave some surprises for the people who actually get it because like i there are a lot of jokes and memes on this and stuff you know i got to design all of it which i still think is just so freaking cool and this is the empty box where's the figure it's reasons like this that i'm not an unboxing channel but there you have it if you want to get it be sure to keep an eye out there's a link in the description to everything i just said let's get back to screwing around in tabs the next unit i made is simply called nanner you know i wanted to make a fruit themed unit for whatever reason i can't remember my thought process other than the fact that he throws apples but i've increased the fire rates to the max i don't know if this is gonna break the game i kind of hope it does one way or another we're gonna find out because these hungry peasants will be fed somehow hopefully by apple rather than nanner oh no no you fall over you throw so fast the apples don't even really hurt all that much who would have guessed the flicking fruit at people wasn't all that deadly it was deadly enough though let's see how our rapid fire apple barrage fares against something a little bit bigger i get the feeling this might be slightly uneventful you know they're probably just gonna bounce off his tits what the hell was that how many of these units have they changed i know i started off this episode by saying that the game isn't actually accurate but at the same time it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense for the ice giant to be breathing fire but so that had to have been breathing ice somehow i mean we're gonna need a couple more of them to find out for sure because these are surprisingly deadly apples oh yeah those are some frozen fruit flickers even though they didn't freeze solids they're still going oh yeah and then the frost giants punch afterwards so that's a direct upgrade even though it still wasn't enough to fend off these fighting fruits i wonder how shields would face off against something like this but we've had apple tossing in the game for ages now but we've never been able to test his potential because it's always just been the third of the wheelbarrow which is an irrelevant unit to begin with but now we can really crank things up so what if i had them face off against like 110 shields i i know you don't usually make an army of just shields it's all defense no offense but at the same time they've got metal shields they've got metal armor they're facing off against bananas with produce projectiles this should be a perfectly fair fight for the blue team but it doesn't feel that way the bananas are also surprisingly large i think i made them like one and a half times the size of a regular tabs unit so they're foreboding to say the least you want to know what's worse than getting stung by a bee getting stung by many bees this is a super cheap very small unit that i made that attacks in swarms and boy oh boy do they attack they actually sting for some reason these farmers have decided that they don't want their crops pollinated this year and to that i'd say tough titties because the bees are coming they're so fast they fall over sometimes oh there are the stingers okay yup whole bunch of stinging do you feel that [Applause] i love you you can see the stingers hanging out of them they're having a hard time swatting them they're so small they're only like up to your knee and the best part is they're not even hobbits they don't have the hobbit shape they're just tiny little bee people and boy oh boy are they angry should have just given up the pollen dudes you just had to go and [ __ ] the tree with their hive in it to be your weapon didn't you mr giant well now they're pissed again i could have made them fly but i love the fact that they run over each other and fall okay yeah they got mega smushed there it was all one giant needle cloud and then nothing the size differential might be an advantage for them though because i don't think he can holy crap that's a lot of spines or stingers i should say come on guys you got this i be leaving you oh i guess get them down to your size perfect just chop them down come on no this is it's impossible to tell who's winning because in all reality i don't think the bees do all that much damage they're just kind of stinging and it hurts a little bit they get you by numbers but when there's only a few of them left about as much chances half a dozen bees killing a real person is he going into anaphylactic shock i think they're punching his taint yeah they're just wailing on him he doesn't seem to be doing two goods on the one hand he can't stand up again and they're trying to crawl up his butts but on the other hand i i don't know if they're really doing any damage to him i could take control of you to see they're really not you could so easily just end this i think he was rolling around for the fun of it just just to give them a laugh god what is wrong with you come on finish them off there we go just kick their corpses i can't hit them and i've been watching him try to hit them for like 10 minutes now sticking his ass out twerking or maybe it just hurts from all the stings finally that was a mismatch this might be one of the best things i've ever made i call him santa claus and of course the elves have decided to unionize they want workers rights and safety protocols and stuff like that no no no you work in the sweat shops or north pole as we call it or you become reindeer meat your choice holy crap that must hurt who's been naughty who's been nice who's never gonna be found under the ice i kind of want to see if santa can 1v1 someone who's a little bit closer to his own value so for the first time ever on screen or stage santa claus versus a knights i would imagine you'll be able to get up close and personal pull a wolverine come on santa open them up like a tin can that's what i'm talking about zeus thor our artemis i'm really sorry about this but there's barely enough room for christ in christmas no more gods you go back to your pagan holidays or whatever you're doing oh man oh man artemis has gotten a whole lot stronger fortunately santa is all over that you guys were put on the bad list why is he so strong he's just a melee unit there's nothing i i didn't do anything weird other than dress up a unit to look like santa i think other than the units who caused literally infinite the superboxer might be the most expensive unit in the game well the thing is who do you think got him those magic glowing gloves to begin with it wasn't his mama i'll tell you that much it was the claws oh was that him or you santa oh boy um did we bite off more than we could chew did we fill up on cookies and milk nope we're good he's flashy i'll give him that oh that is awkward hey jesus how's it going oh santa he was just doing dude christmas stuff no reason to 1v1 him oh he's trying to make santa pray but even on his knees santa inches forwards and he's back up come on santa i believe in you listen i don't have anything against jesus i just really like presents i think jesus would be a whole lot more effective when facing off against people who believe in him so how about we try half a dozen squires they've got crucifixes on their chest that's the effect we're looking for good prayer nice deep prayer just drag yourself along the ground and uh oh those prayers are about to be answered by rabbit punches to the back of the head come on jesus they're gonna get back up okay are we not gonna talk about the fact that it seems like jesus is always ready to be a murderer that's ironic would you believe me if i told you this was the most powerful unit i made i call her wendy and she's a big fan of gripping and ripping nuts so let's see that in action come on wendy you got it i know there are a bunch of grown adults but maybe the prospector wasn't a great choice there they're kind of good against single units okay let's take that from the top wendy this really shouldn't be a big deal to you okay it's just like a dozen spartans you've got the dick twist now twist the dick come on dick twist oh my god did i mess something up how about we reset and just try against a bunch of poor people okay if you can clap at them on twitter you should be able to dick twist them in real life come on girl there you go that's what i'm talking about that's a two-hand grab i like it now you need to stand up please stand up would the real wendy please stand up oh my god will you stop getting gang-banged on the floor you got this i know you got this you cost like a thousand times more than you see you see she's got two handfuls they can't move it's a weak spot of most i just need her to be able to finish them off she's doing the grabbing but she's not doing the twisting she's not doing the ripping come on wendy oh what is happening okay well we actually won but if she gets outnumbered at all she's useless i i i guess every single created unit can't be perfect this can mean only one thing we're gonna have to have a 1v1 to see who is the strongest unit that i made for today's episode is it santa claus or is it wendy santa costs like a third as much let's find out come on claws you got this i want you to win so bad holy crap it's not even close i don't know what i just clicked on but all of a sudden i somehow have access to all of the semi units that are in the game you know like the horse without its chariot which we clearly have to mess around with dr zoid you don't have any moral obligation to punching a horse in the lips do you no wonderful i mean we might need a couple more of you because it's not exactly a fair fight but that being said i think we might be able to make it work something like that i'm surprised the horses are so expensive i shouldn't be though oh right dr zoid is a bit of a murder too it's just claws and explosions let's try that again except for this time we'll use an adequate amount of the good doctor maybe something like that get those horses i don't know if the resulting explosions hurt my team feels like they do but dr zoid is kind of a vanilla unit like that's the thing when you make a unit in this game it's not gonna be anything crazy because it only introduces stuff that's already in the game he's just punching people with claws but at the same time he's half lobster half doctor what more do you want come to think of it this is the first time we've ever had landfall release guns in the game i think we've had them because of mods before but these are actual developer released guns so we gotta see how the wobbly horses handle bullets i would imagine not well this is gonna be a glue factory kind of scenario or they'll just ricochet off apparently they're bulletproof horses good to know you know what desperate times call for desperate measures the wobbly horses are just cleaning me out so we're gonna have to summon fish or species i would imagine we're gonna need a whole bunch of them they're a powerhouse they're real expensive this isn't even kind of a fair fight i just want to beat these horses and i want to see what the fish does i i think that they just hit people with fish right are they are they hitting anything with fish are they accomplishing anything other than dying was it a mistake to use them on land what just happened i legitimately don't know what to say about that because not only are the horses outnumbered two to one but they're out valued by like four times oh why are they so strong oh you know what that means we're gonna have to take him down to pound town this is gonna be the grand finale of the episode the heavyweight championship and i should probably make it a somewhat even fight how about this we'll have even money there we go that's close enough come on santa you got this i want to see dead horses yes you'll wobble no longer i had to make some phone calls okay i had to get a santa from every mall in the nation to come in but it was worth it to watch the horses run in fear thank you santa claus you know what i think that's gonna be it for this episode of totally accurate battle simulator guys and once again just thank you guys so much not just for supporting tabs but for supporting the channel oh i mentioned the youtubes in the video earlier and i honestly would have never thought that i would get to make something that cool and the people would hopefully be interested in it i have no idea if people are gonna buy it i hope they do because like i it will support the channel but mostly because i think it's really cool and if you guys have any ideas for anything you want to see me make then as always be sure to leave a comment give me some recommendations i need ideas desperately leave a like on the video and i'll return to see santa rip people apart again soon but thanks so much for watching this video i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next time [Music] you

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 949,501

Keywords: totally accurate battle simulator, tabs, totally accurate battle simulator unit creator, tabs unit creator, tabs unit creator update, tabs best unit creator, tabs unit creator funny moments, tabs funny moments, tabs unit creator funny, tabs funny, tabs santa, tabs best custom units, tabs update, totally accurate battle simulator unit creator update, tabs unit creator beta, tabs unit creator landfall, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: K7J5w2PW__Y

Length: 21min 29sec (1289 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 22 2020