You Used My Units Against Me - Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS)

when i pictured snow white and the seven dwarves i didn't think that the disney princess would look like she's been injecting herself with horse hormones she scares the piss out of me i'm thinking maybe we can just shoot her like if i use a whole bunch of quick drawing ombres then we can fill those titties with legs when i thought up that strategy i expected her to care no guys come on shoot faster what kind of weird kevlar nips is she rockin okay [Music] what's up guys welcome back to totally accurate battle simulator where last episode i asked you guys to leave your armies in the comments of that video for me to face off against them today and you guys left about 6 000 armies for me to fight and if i spent even a minute on each of them this video would last for like five days so i'm gonna try to get to as many as i can but i just wanted to say i'm sure there are a whole bunch of very interesting entertaining well thought out ideas that i couldn't get to but still very much appreciate we'll start things off with the most liked comment on that video being the seven deadly sins with lust represented by cupid sloth by snuffy gluttony by the hobbit greed by bank robbers pride by the cheerleader envy by horse and wrath by the shouter well a whole bunch of people seem to believe that jesus died for our sins so maybe it's time for jesus to pick himself back up and kill them in round two i don't know like if you've never seen any of these videos before the way it works is i can only spend as much money as my opponent has i'm limited to 5080 as if it was a typical tabs campaign that way it'll keep things fair and a little bit challenging that also means that i could get a couple of jesus's and then maybe pair them with something like santa claus i mean they share a big day i'm sure they're on great terms and it's perfect the big question is can jesus get snuffy to pray i get the feeling that much thickness isn't interested in kneeling we also need to worry about the fact that santa is a little bit horny jesus can resist but santa not so much guys i wanted to have a claws and christ team up not to watch you two doc so could you maybe kill the opponent all the heavy lifting is being left to santa as if it actually was christmas next up we have a mess it's just a mess one blackbeard two cupids and two watches yeah i could definitely see a whole bunch of units humping one another underneath a cloud of arrows and anchors to be a bit of a mess but i chose this one because it's a bunch of units that i don't think i've ever tried to send to space before i've definitely strapped many tabs units to rockets and sent them up but the huacha cupid blackbeards they all stand out so i'm thinking maybe if we use a bunch of firework archers we might be able to get liftoff it's gonna be difficult not to shoot my own units though this map is a little bit tight fingers crossed you guys got this i forgot the blackbeard has a new ability okay you guys might want to shoot a little bit faster before it calls in another salvo no and the watches reload as well luckily they're made of graham crackers and fall apart pretty easily oof um yeah and you guys are about to become the s'mores what happened like we just got rained on a little bit it's freaking blackbeard man that new ability's nuts i know i just said i wouldn't use more money than my opponents but i'm making an exception because i really want to see what the banished could do here i made this unit i can't even remember what it does it's just super badass looking and rains down lightning as well as some real good strikes all right so far so good as long as you can avoid becoming a point blank pin cushion what is wrong with you you're some kind of terrifying eldritch horror and yet you died to pointy sticks i wonder if this is one of those levels that i could just cheese using the ballooner because they're so cheap that i can get dozens upon dozens of them but a single ballooner should be able to kill just about any unit right because all they have to do is grab them with their gross gizmy hands and then away they go he has to come plummeting down like a meteor oh up not on top of everybody you idiots oh my god nobody got anywhere close to the watches why did i use balloons to get sherpa sticks i'm such an idiot all right then no more playing around i'm gonna use guns i try not to resort to these things all the time but they're popular in warfare for a reason i think they're going to be pretty freaking effective here especially if i spread them out enough so they don't all get hit by the same arrows or cannonballs or whatever is raining down on us now all i ask is that you guys shoot the enemy and not each other try to aim for the enemy and not the back of the head in front of you that's what i'm talking about okay now if we can reload at the speed of smell and then shoot one more time all i'm asking one more time at blackbeard and that should be enough i've given the musketeers a whole lot of crap over the years but i'll give it up they actually do pull through sometimes it's the revenge of the underrated one of every unit that you don't use as much tabs units are really starting to feel like pokemon now because there's just so freaking many of them that there's no way of keeping track so i was going through all the factions picking out stuff that i would never consider to use in an army or strategy or stuff that came out with a recent update that i used once and then immediately forgot despite the fact that they're incredibly overpowered so i get the feeling this might be kind of difficult i really can't resist sending out optimus prime because he's just so janky and weird and costs almost the perfect amount i don't think he's going to be able to win but he should be able to put on a good show and twerk quite a bit get harpooned and snaked and i think he's got a fungus or two on him and is frozen solid he got hit by a boat it's just such a mess he can't even stand up come on optimus ah damn it where's shia labeouf when you need him i don't think there's any reasonable army i can use to face off against these things so i'm gonna have to hope for something completely unreasonable if we use a da vinci tank and then back that up with some cheerleaders then we will get liftoff rather large tornado that will then rip through the taekwondo units that i decided to use as baits fingers crossed come on you got this da vinci no why does the ice make you stop spinning since when is that a thing oh you've got to be kidding me cheer herder okay thank you they actually did it so we've got a tornado but it's a very slow moving and unsatisfying tornado don't go off the edge it just exploded into skeletons why oh i got the necromancer out there is that what he does it's like i said i have no idea this is gonna be impossible these units may be incredibly powerful but the one thing they aren't is immune to love so i'm hoping if we get a couple of fully automatic cupids back here then maybe we could just have them bite one another still got some money left over i'm kind of hoping that i can find something like a fully automatic gatling cannon that would help as well and then uh oh i don't know gnomes yeah just send in all of the gnomes fingers crossed i get the feeling the gnomes are just gonna feed the necromancer she's gonna end up being a whole bunch of tiny skeletons or not yeah fully automatic gatling cannon may have been a little unfair there but i'll take it i hate you one balloon or any map any wing condition just one ballooner it's definitely not an overly complicated army but it is surprisingly interesting because it's like i said earlier the ballooner is weird it can practically one shot anything anything that it can grab with its gross gizmy hands fly up into the air with and then catapult into the ground so like what could i buy the cost less than or equal to the ballooner that would be able to avoid that i don't have all that many options i'll show you what i mean we'll send out a squire he's got steel he should be able to stab this thing but no he's gonna get grabbed they're gonna take off and then probably come burning back down upon reentry oh the blooner didn't get his lucky meteor strike off which means we're gonna have a tango except not really again the square can't swing his sword because of the gross hands he's just getting tossed around or jerked off ooh power jerk that's rude oh i see the strategy here we could use a poacher he should be able to fill this guy with arrows before he gets anywhere close or just one to the nuts that's not gonna be enough he still has takeoff okay again didn't have the burn up on re-entry but the poacher still died so we need something that can kill this thing at long distance but that doesn't use arrows because apparently his puffy pantaloons are arrow-proof maybe something like the sarissa is a pretty long range you should be able to give him a poke before nope that's not gonna do it i know that they originally said in the comment i hate you and i i really do hate this thing well they may be arrow-proof but what are you willing to bet they aren't spear proof cause they've never had to deal with anything like this before hopefully you can hit him right in the family jewels that's what i'm talking about his grandkids felt that one you see sometimes you just need to simplify your ball destroying technology how about snow white and the seven dwarves one pyroqueen and seven miners when i pictured snow white and the seven dwarves i didn't think that the disney princess would look like she's been injecting herself with horse hormones she scares the piss out of me i'm thinking maybe we can just shoot her like if i use a whole bunch of quick drawing ombres then we can fill those titties with legs when i thought up that strategy i expected her to care no guys come on shoot faster what kind of weird kevlar nips is she rocking okay this is gonna be a problem she hasn't bathed in weeks she has absolutely no problem using your blood as a substitute thank you quick draw it's a murder a scarecrow with lots of cheerleaders or a custom unit that throws a lot of crows i wanted to put the scarecrow out in the field on a hill because i thought it was fitting and it would look cool but now i'm immediately regretting it because he's so far away from the line i have so much distance to cover to get to him thinking maybe we could use something like the witch one of those units that i kind of forgot about but is surprisingly powerful witches should have some amount of control over a bunch of birds [Music] or not i mean we killed the scarecrow but the cheerleaders left standing means we lose i think the strategy here is to bum rush him more specifically horse rushum horse should be at the top of the animal food chain far above crow so hopefully you guys will go balls deep before the crows are activated oh it hurts oh there's so many of them but it doesn't matter because they don't have wobbly knees time to face off against the creator and his creation one captain sauce and one santa claus i see how it's gonna be obviously one of you was gonna try to use my own overpowered creations against me i don't even know how i made something this powerful nonetheless how i can beat them if i was to get in their heads what is something that myself and santa would be weak against maybe attractive women in tight shorts if we use a couple of lara crofts then maybe she can just gun us down okay watch out for the fart toss that hurts quite a bit first volley bullets didn't do a whole lot come on reload lara you got this maybe am i dodging i think i might be dodging i'm definitely punching or grabbing one of the two santa is still chopping i i don't think this is gonna work this is not going well damn it come on she needs bigger boobs if there's one thing i've learned on my youtube journey is that the only thing that can truly beat captain sauce is captain sauce it's so easy to get inside your own head and get down on yourself but hopefully a stronger more handsome version of me will be able to take down my self and santa he's definitely got a whole bunch more abilities he can freeze he can lightning he can throw tomatoes i think he's got a couple of shurikens somewhere but he's not gonna need him way to go self-confidence how about a bit of a ragtag group we've got the weakest unit from each faction is now a good time to try out some of the new custom units that i downloaded for this episode like the xenomorph because i can afford exactly one xenomorph which is surprisingly fitting i don't know if you've ever seen an alien movie before but ripping 13 idiots apart is kind of their specialty i have complete in total faith that that dynamite is gonna ruin a whole bunch of people the balloon is not gonna be able to bring him back to space he's having lunch i'm hearing a whole lot of eating like that mouth and a mouth is sucking gross oh no bird where are you going where do you think you're running to it's time to be a hero nope nope time to run away don't play with him there you go finish your meal i also found a unit called poop and it just seems to be living poop it just seemed fitting to have crap face off against a completely different kind of crap hopefully they do something i i don't really know what poop would do on the battlefield other than get scooped up i suppose could could you please come back down thank you maybe they can throw turds or like waft their scent or just touch people and gross them out until they dry out and this is nothing they do nothing i really couldn't resist trying something called flying armed minigun ultra instinct armored horse that sounds broken yup that's about right okay it is going to hit absolutely nothing unless it's aiming for clowns it looks majestic but it doesn't seem to want to fight did you have any plans to do anything other than shoot the sky i don't think i have any ranged units so killing this thing might be tricky it's just going to keep ramming its strange horse balls into us that's all it's doing oh wait the ballooner might be able to break its flight or not you guys are gonna get it stuck in a tree you're geniuses now go in for the kill you got it hobbits time to be a hero or get kicked in the teeth yeah that that works too i suppose can it fly off the map like if we spook it enough would it just fall to its death or is it gonna get stuck in the trees it's like fighting a kite i don't understand how we're supposed to beat this thing it's either going to beat itself or we're going to be bored in a draw probably both oh there we go there we go and it's done wow definitely ultra instinct super armored hyper mega rare horse i love it praise the lord we've got 15 pharaohs five priests and a baker's dozen of hobbits not to intentionally bring things full circle on the episode but i get the feeling jesus would not be happy about those priests converting about all these pharaohs trying to steal his thunder so maybe he can get them to pray and convert back and uh we can obviously help him with his good friend santa claus we could even get some little helpers in there on his back that seem reasonable yeah just a couple of friendship bullets going their way i don't think the hobbits are gonna do much they're just kind of lumps actually even santa's having a hard time moving that was a whole lot of prayer coming from the pharaohs they're technically supposed to be the closest to god that man can be but we've got god's son how much closer can you get than that come on santa get in there oh he's right on the doorstep oh it's working jesus's powers are winning and so are the claws it's it's mostly the claws yeah i feel like the claws are doing a lot of the damage actually i mean you can feel overwhelmed with the sense of worship or you could just get stabbed in the chest you know and i think that's gonna be it for this episode of totally accurate battle simulator guys and once again big thanks to everybody who contributed on the last episode not only because i wouldn't be able to do these videos without you guys but also because then that video ends up going a lot further so much interaction makes youtube recommend it to more people and then more people show up to give me more recommendations so the series gets to go on for longer so everybody ends up winning but once again if you guys want to see more of this or if you want to see me continue with the custom campaign that i was doing last episode be sure to leave a like in the video leave a comment letting me know and i'll return to stab tuton d's nuts again soon but thanks much for watching this video i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next [Music] time you

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 847,977

Keywords: totally accurate battle simulator, tabs, totally accurate battle simulator funny, tabs funny, totally accurate battle simulator funny moments, tabs funny moments, tabs unit creator, totally accurate battle simulator unit creator, tabs custom units, tabs custom campaign, tabs mods, tabs sauce, tabs best creation, tabs custom unit campaign, tabs viewer battles, tabs comment battles, tabs viewer recommendations, battle simulator, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: wa0gkxr_IDo

Length: 19min 57sec (1197 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 13 2021