How To Slay A Dragon - Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS)

that is a straight-up dragon in tabs i almost can't believe it like i kind of figured we might fight some kind of big mythical creature today so i called in kratos but it turns out he's gonna be a little bit late so maybe the farmer faction can deal with it on their own defend themselves don't worry guys i'm sure trogdor here doesn't have any experience berninating all the people drug toys way wonkier than i would have expected he looks like a dragon but he moves like a fly that just got slapped [Music] what's up guys welcome back to totally accurate battle simulator that game that helps humanity answer the questions that we're just not brave enough to ask yet like what would happen to a hobbit if it hit the ground at terminal velocity like six story fall right into the dirt i would imagine it will bounce it got right back up wait what i mean it kind of makes sense because it's the same size and shape as a beach ball but i was kind of hoping for a sweater vest left in a fuzzy red puddle usually gandalf would be responsible for watching that guy but to be perfectly fair he's a little bit busy defending earth from the forces of hell which i'm gonna be in control of like some of you guys may remember over the past couple of episodes i've been helping both the armies of heaven and hell invade the world of the living and right now the only thing standing between hell and complete global domination is the legacy faction and like everybody sees gandalf as a sweet old man until he sends in peasants as cannon fodder so they've decided to call this opening defense decimating strength which is cool i guess but i probably would have gone with colossal oopsies because i could see one major error in their strategy that we can take advantage of they want to rush me with the kamikaze barrel rollers but i could just use shadow walkers because then they're gonna jump into the middle of the enemy formation and the barrel rollers are gonna turn around and then explode on allies enemies everybody well except for my army who's gonna be all the way down here we will show up to the smoldering remains of the battle eventually and we got our exiled sentinels because i'm pretty sure all of the enemy's units are ranged except for the peasants maybe a few boxers but we don't really care about them and uh we could back them up with a couple of tempus glitches just in case there's anybody left alive in a real tight formation as long as the shadow walkers can turn those barrels around there we go oh uh we may have missed one that could be a problem they could hurt come on lightning how hard is it to hit a guy on top of an exploding barrel oh that did nothing i keep forgetting just how beefy these ladies are all right well it's like i said they're very close together as long as the lightning can bring down on these poachers we should be okay uh liches might wanna hurry up with those storms otherwise gandalf is gonna be the one to throw the lightning oh okay that actually worked flawlessly are they all dead there's got to be somebody left alive right cardiac arrest oh i don't know what just happened there but either way i guess we just needed to scorch their lawn a little bit really send a message for the next battle and here we are on the final battlefield fittingly called satanic march where it looks like thor and his lightning powers and his hyperactive horses think they can defend the world i'm gonna leave a fat doubt on that one oh hold on a second it's not thor it's thor's plural that's a big difference like we may have them surrounded but i just wanted to have a void monarch 1v1 a thor you get like satan versus god or close enough but 3v1 is pushing it you need to be stretching days in advance for a norwegian god gangbang trust me i really want to have shadow walkers jump on top of these pikemen because then there's nothing that they can do there's no way that you can poke somebody with a 10 foot long pole when they're nut to butt with you but the problem is i'm pretty sure they're gonna jump to the furthest unit not to the center of the circle which means most of them are going to either jump underneath the chariot or underneath mjolnir both are a significant problem and that does not leave me with much more money i am out of luck here i guess we could just try outnumbering them what if i put exiled sentinels on this side and just buy enough time for the monarch to do his thing does that make any sense yeah you see they didn't go for the pikemen at all they all jumped directly on top of thor and then got shocked and you got killed instantly oh that's a problem almost as much of a problem as a moonwalking horse that's how you know you've lost when the animals could do michael jackson impressions instead of fight you just screwed this is a really weird scenario because i'm pretty sure the void monarch's transformation is triggered by getting hit a couple of times but if thor hits you a single time you don't get back up same kind of thing for the pikemen so maybe we can put a couple of void monarchs down here and then the chariots will rush over to them and whack them with their wobbly knees or whatever they do just enough to rile them up and get them to transform become a big demon and fight the gods does that make any sense not really it doesn't haves we can back them up with a couple of exiled sentinels i suppose and to avoid monarch i don't know like i want them to be far back enough so they don't get in the way of the chariots hitting the monarchs which is like all my money is riding on the monarchs or more specifically riding on these stupid horses and whether or not they can run over my underworld gods there we go okay we got one transformation that's better than none i think he hurt his leg there but he he'll be fine that's good it's better than nothing oh there's the other one i was gonna say please tell me you didn't just get evaporated by the lightning come on get in there you gotta at least take out one thor no not like this even when they're transformed it doesn't matter mule there just bag tags them and they drop and crumple to the ground i don't understand thor isn't even worth that much he's like a 1700 unit isn't he or maybe a couple of thousand but the 3 000 void monarch drops i don't know whatever we end up using has to be able to survive getting struck by lightning which is a pretty big ask so we need to use some pretty big units just not the biggest unit maybe a couple of whips a couple of glitches i like the idea of using our lightning against theirs and then shadow walkers to buy time something like that don't suppose you guys are willing to assassinate a god for me no okay well uh one of the chariots is out of commission that's good we blew up the other one so now it's just the gods this could not have gone any better for us honestly if this doesn't work then i don't know what we could do oh okay yep the lightning is looking good drop the chariot great we just gotta kill thor come on oh no yeah that hurts that really hurts it really does feel like the whip is our only hope if i can spread them out enough so that they don't get multi-hit by lightning then i might just be able to overwhelm the enemy that way we could still get a single lich maybe stick him up here where he could be stuck i could try putting him on the roof but i don't think he'll be able to reach from there we've had success in this area before and then shadow walkers to buy time again run it as long as you guys don't get hit by the lightning right off the bat okay now whip the thor with them with them real good he's got the exposed nips good good that's great this is actually working really well oh wait we got two thor's there's only one thor left i think come on whip him whip him please yes oh how the mighty have fallen i'm pretty sure your prayers are gonna fall on deaf ears the church of the wobbly horse is now in the clutches of hell and there you have it the evil campaign complete and with that i've finished every single campaign level in tabs on camera again it seems like every time i reach that accomplishment they go and update the game and i gotta do more but i really hope we do get more i enjoy playing the campaigns a whole lot it's one of those places where you can see a pack of raptors attack a group of knights but either way i don't think this is nearly enough for an episode so let's take a look at some custom units so the first unit to catch my attention is a bit of a strange one it's called shaman totem with the question mark i didn't add that myself so i'm guessing the creator was just as confused as i am it didn't come with any kind of backstory i have no idea what it's supposed to be or what it's gonna do but i'm gonna interpret that somebody fed their pet elephant a lot of cactuses and corn and then six to eight hours later decided i should really mail these turds to somebody turns out that somebody was actually the hobbits all of them the entire shire gets the box of elephant poop that's how this works oh that's very different i've never seen anything like that before what's with the ice vortex said and the random energy geyser i i didn't even see all of them get frozen in a line and then reheated like chicken nuggets that was a lot to take in hold on we might actually want to use some units who are a little bit sturdier and a lot more spread out so how about the hoplite you know i can get a couple dozen of them okay i i know it's not quite 300 but don't meet the same fate let's be perfectly honest so we do have an instant freeze vortex i don't know where that came from the mix of fire breath and ice breath i still don't know what this thing is the polka dot man is blowing his load strange all right i i like it it's definitely got a whole lot of weird abilities and it is kind of like a totem in that it doesn't move it's not similar to like the towers that we've seen in past episodes i do have some of those though yeah this is called the radiant glaive tower and i mean it looks like a building a structure like something straight out of balloons well as always the king is none too pleased that there are trespassers on his front lawn who seem to have built some infrastructure and then taken off i'm telling you medieval vandals are weird we'll get rid of it with some squires assuming that they're going to be able to close the distance against this thing it is called the radiant glaive so i would imagine it's going to huck some glaives at you oh yeah so very similar to the radiant glaive unit except big and bulky and doesn't move around not sure what else i was expecting there it's such a strange like subset of units this one doesn't have the ability to hold other units next to it which is something that i really liked about the tower that we saw last time but i definitely see a lot of possibilities for this i've even got some weirder ones oh jesus christ this one blinks and i hate it it's called spider diablo for obvious reasons listen king don't let me tell you what to do but i would probably send some knights out instead of squires because this thing looks like it's ready to feed on some medieval man flesh might want to have armor i don't even know what a spider could do in tabs oh oh oh the spook ability is really good for a tower because then medieval units can't easily overwhelm it unless it misses yeah you really need that poison cloud to be a little bit closer they are ravaging your insides do you do any damage or do you just waste a lot of time because wasting time is a perfectly valid strategy when used in an army if we had a bunch of other units here that were able to fight and take out these nights while they're wasting their time roaming around then this battle would be very different let me see how you guys are doing oh they're almost dead yeah well we'll let the spider have its feast i'm assuming that this cloud is poison we've seen it before we've seen it with the weird smoke screens that some units can use but again it's cool that it's something that's only available in the unicreator i don't think this is something that any unit in tabs uses like any of the regular factions come on you gotta gas them out eventually there we go it's gonna say how long can you survive in these oompa loompa farts for that is a straight-up dragon in tab as i almost can't believe it like i kind of figured we might fight some kind of big mythical creature today so i called in kratos but it turns out he's going to be a little bit late so maybe the farmer faction can deal with it on their own defend themselves don't worry guys i'm sure trogdor here doesn't have any experience berninating all the people drug toys way wonkier than i would have expected he looks like a dragon but he moves like a fly that just got slapped oh no not like this i mean he could still torch a peasant or two but man oh man that is not quite what i was hoping for if anything he should have had a big muscly arm then he could at least punch down are you okay seem to be having a herd go at it okay only one left just kind of lower yourself a little bit i'm afraid to take control of this thing i i don't think that would be a good idea i don't want to find out how the sausage gets made i just want to enjoy it on my own and hopefully burning ate some people there we go is uh that it don't tell me you hit one into the ground no it's so broken that it probably slapped a hobbit through the geometry of the game there we go don't worry you can burn things underground when you're a dragon that's this broken well the promise is a promise i guess we're gonna have derp the magic dragon here fight against kratos i'm being told that it's not a fair fight that i should actually use two kratoses but i doubt that if you can throw that axe without throwing yourself that would be kind of cool all right um not quite what i was hoping for again usually you throw it then it comes back it's really satisfying and it makes for like one of the best games ever made but in this case you're just kind of throwing yourself and trying to give the dragon an ice enema it's a bold strategy we'll see if it pays off but i have my downs see if you look at it from this angle then it almost seems like a normal fight like the dragon isn't hovering feet off the ground as kratos just frequently gets torched and does backflips over it yeah this might end up being a draw to be perfectly honest you can't have stupid cancel out stupid you just get double stupids old kratos in the leviathan axe left little to be desired but maybe we'll have luck with younger kratos and the blades of chaos well the tabs math is telling me once again that this isn't going to be a fair fight and the stupid math is telling me once again that we're going to end up with double stupids but i'll run it anyway and i'm just going to throw it out there because i've had a lot of people think that like i only play video games for youtube or that i should always record myself when playing a game but i play games for myself all the time no gaming is a hobby that's a lot more entertaining when you don't have to be entertaining yourself i was gonna say the most recent god of war is hands down one of the best games ever made like kratos retrieving the blades of chaos is probably the best moment in video game history the one that stands out the most to me over 20 years of playing video games if you haven't played it you definitely should i swear this isn't the setup to a really dumb punch line but what do you call a 10-foot tall guy dressed like a shark honestly like it wouldn't be a furry these sharks don't have fur would it be a scaly i'm going to assume that this is a 10 foot tall scaly called sharknado and i'm kind of afraid to figure out why despite his large size and strange taste he only cost 260. so i guess we'll just have three farmers charge up against him and hope that he doesn't oh he throws tornadoes i kind of figured he was gonna turn into a tornado himself well that's still not particularly fair assuming oh i was gonna say assuming he can move on land because he seems to be having trouble but then he stood up and seems to have armpit farted a couple dozen shurikens all right then i don't think sharks can do that i would normally just move on but i feel like out of principle we need to get some sushi real quick go ahead and fire away whenever you're ready there we go i don't know if that's where the dick would be you know because it's technically a shark but it's also a dude in a costume i also don't really want to find out so this unit is apparently called the wither and it's modeled after a minecraft boss i know about this much about minecraft but i know this much about killing dumb stuff in tabs so bring it on i'm gonna assume from its very cold looking hands that it wants to try to freeze my unit so i'm going to send out a bunch of brawlers not only do they have shields but they're also used to the frigid temperatures there you go you see you can't freeze us so easily or so i thought uh okay it also yelled at us and what the hell did it turn somebody into a skeleton i'm confused why are there skeleton parts i mean bones why are there bones where did the bones come from where did the skeletons come from okay we won but at what cost can't believe this thing made me forget the word bones can i please shoot it with a ballista so that i feel better about myself oh it's quick it's real quick but not quick enough i'm genuinely surprised that somebody would take the time and put in the effort to not only beef up the gesture because now we cost 6 000 instead of a couple hundred but make him look really cool like he's super intimidating now i'm sure this has been a long time coming many years of entertaining many kings and finally he can get his revenge by teleporting into their wheelhouse and uh what is happening right now did he just throw something while he was teleported he's getting smacked on that's for sure he's only a little guy guys little guys wait there's two of them now what the hell where did one of the kings go uh didn't oh no the king is dead okay well the king is dead long live the kings i i just assumed that he had converted that would be creepy if you could have like some kind of clown unit that would convert other units into clowns what a friggin nightmare there's three of them now i think they're so fast that it can't keep up and they're throwing knives from somewhere did you see that it just came out of the sky and they're laughing oh no no no no no i don't want anything that's half my height putting its face between my butt cheeks and then laughing through a mask that's just too far that crosses so many boundaries i'm genuinely curious how we would kill this thing now like if i have a bunch of farmers baited out then maybe i could hit it with the ballista but i doubt it i wouldn't be surprised if it was too smart for that or if the ballista just straight up missed like that well we might have a problem damn he's quick so he's here but he's also here would really appreciate if you guys hit your target it's just one man oh he decided to skip the farmers this time dick move we missed him again i think he's hurt he's he's thinking about it he was playing he was acting the fool of course he was or one of them were i can't keep track of these things they don't even multiply like the monkey king that's what you would think the multiplication would be like but it's completely different some kind of weird demonic multiplication i don't like it it's freaky i'm telling you right now we're gonna kill this thing one way or another i will call in as many chuko new as i need send in all of the fully automatic crossbows see how much he's laughing when he's a pin cushion oh um what you guys shooting at because oh he can deflect of course he can it's gonna say you guys are missing everything you just scattered them across the lawn and they're multiplying way faster now so they can deflect and they can multiply depending on how many enemies there are and they don't seem to overly care about anything all right then i genuinely can't think of a strategy to kill these things maybe we could blow them up that seems like wishful thinking i don't even want to sit and wait to watch this because we're not gonna win are we i mean we have done damage it's pissed it's enraged like the uh yarrow would be but i just don't see us killing it anytime soon let's see how much damage they've done oh okay yeah you know what i'm just gonna slowly walk up and uh you guys can finish this one off oh it deflects automatically well isn't that cute what if i turn around and maybe you guys could shoot him in the ass i literally need to hold this thing down for it to be killed and even then it takes a minute i mean i guess it makes sense it does have one arrow going through its brain and after that it was like nope never again okay this will be my last attempt at fairly killing one of these things i'm just gonna use nothing but barrel rollers if i send in enough boom that they can't possibly survive rice the puffy pants can't be bomb proof oh the fact that the battle hasn't ended makes me think that he's still alive we blew ourselves up yeah for a second i thought that worked but no blue victory i'm not blue all right you know what i think that's gonna be it for this episode of totally accurate battle simulator guys and what a badass shot to end on like he's literally laughing at us as the bodies fly but i gotta say i really want to make more episodes focusing on a bunch of these custom units so long as they're gonna be entertaining so you leave some recommendations make stuff put it on the workshop i'll be sure to keep looking and maybe if i get enough for a video i'll return to do something like this again soon but thanks so much watching this video i hope you enjoyed i'll see you next time [Music] you

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 846,751

Keywords: totally accurate battle simulator, tabs, totally accurate battle simulator towers, totally accurate battle simulator funny, tabs funny, totally accurate battle simulator funny moments, tabs funny moments, totally accurate battle simulator evil campaign, tabs evil campaign, tabs evil faction, tabs evil units, tabs strongest unit, tabs custom units, tabs player made units, tabs unit creator, tabs best units, tabs kratos, tabs god of war, tabs dragon, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: kXRocVWADlM

Length: 25min 24sec (1524 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 11 2021