GETTING CHOKESLAMMED FOR MONEY | Payday 2

hey are we going loud or keeping it quiet actually don't answer welcome to payday 2 game for 2013 that I ignored for 7 years because I'm a brain-dead [ __ ] I know but it is simply too good to ignore and I'm the guy that needs to tell you about it so in the words of the cloaker the reason I say that is this a recent payday 2 rookie myself I was bombarded with all these words and concepts [ __ ] that I didn't understand like a 7 year flood was drowning me slowly or so many words being said right now that I don't understand when dodge crib filled infamy 25 level 100 been playing the game since day one where we sucked off almir list oh please which is why I'm gonna burn all the excessive details and show you payday 2 through my eyes as a casual [ __ ] that's never gone stealth never got above overkill difficulty and should probably be banned from the game 82 is a game where you steal [ __ ] and kill people technically there's some extra curriculars involving methamphetamine rigged elections and nuclear weapons but for the most part it's theft and murder in the template Oh guys the blank go get it this can range from the pedestrian cracking a small bank vault to steal some cash with the world's biggest piece of [ __ ] drill deep drilling you pieces to the maniacal cooking methamphetamine while under a full-scale assault from the FBI trying not to mix of ingredients and blow yourself the bits while Donald Trump is Milly rocking and blind firing a minigun you're literally milli and I'm gonna go in the primaries not only are you cooking meth during a police assault you are learning how to cook meth these heists can be done quietly which involves stealth timing and the ability to quickly answer pagers after you murder security guard sorry about that link maybe from all the acid I drop this morning just kid but imma keep it what Condon 2018 which you crook we don't do that cuz come on I didn't buy a [ __ ] minigun and cue up razor mine just so I can raid the Department of Justice quietly [Music] [Music] imagine this ammo doesn't belong to you does it matter I'd be more than half you're getting it now all those heists and crime dotnet are just a bunch of missions where you press f on objectives and try not to get curb-stomped by cloakers see how simple that is [ __ ] which is time to learn who you're up against from the normal difficulty cannon-fodder like security guards beat cops and f2 your SWAT teams that exist to scream at you and die we spawn the police the special enemies you'll experience on higher difficulties each with their own unique brand of paint the cloaker is the perfect place to store this guy will crawl out of a sewer grade somersault through the air and drop kick your ass into a coma his insults hurt just as much as his on fire this cuoco just jumped over a [ __ ] toyota kicked me in the jaw dude I bought a disposable camera and I turn the flash on and made the cloaker noise that I actually was scared tazer is Walmart great value brand cloaker because he will tie you up with 50,000 volts but that same shock forces you to blast your weapon at random and no matter how much he yells at you bullets are better than Barb's I'm the [ __ ] spark man if anything that's it makes me more dangerous that makes my deagle shots into scrimmage oh [ __ ] you taser bring your voltage somewhere else [ __ ] me hell yes even barbs and bullets have a master the bulldozer who is exactly what he sounds like so if you're not gonna hit him in the face play you may as well not hit him god I love the clanging sound when you hit him in the helmet I have the key card by the way what watch there's no way that a bulldozer can climb shields and medics aren't nearly as scary as they are annoying with mag dumping juiced enemies and acrobatic shield surfing being a virtual requirement while they're around all right I've had enough of your [ __ ] I'm gonna flame serve you into the fire in flames that works snipers can tink the [ __ ] out of you with devastating long-range shots but I'm gonna subtract 10 points for obvious lasers and 10 more for lacking self-awareness literally hundreds of cops are dead sniper gets a kill yep that's seven literally kill the hundreds of police officers and then you hear bolt-action sniper rifle rig on radio that's number six that's like there are unique units from time to time like Captain winters and his bulletproof shield failings too bad nobody ever told me the difference between bulletproof and blast-proof they're the payday gas keep in mind there is variety within these units depending on your difficulty like the regular bulldozer the skull dozer and the Zeile dozer oh god the seal dozer I'd rather have syphilis but even SWAT cloakers Tasers dozers shields medic snipers and captain other [ __ ] winners ain't got [ __ ] on civilian these suckers are nightmares because they're so useful yet so fragile at the same time useful because holding them hostage can slow down the enemy assault SWAT doesn't want to bust in all ham-fisted and accidentally bulldoze some innocent civilians so they move slower giving you much-needed breathing room even more useful due to a mechanic called custody you're down too many times without a medic bag or you bleed out because everyone is ignoring you to fix the goddamn piece of [ __ ] thermal drill this drill is a joke you'll be taken into custody as if you were arrested but if you have a hostage your buddies can trade them for you like a get-out-of-jail-free card don't ask me why the cops think trading a single civilian is worth letting a psychotic mass murderer back into the fight I don't have an answer for you useful like I was saying but fragile like I was saying because their behavior is random as [ __ ] you lose money if you kill them due to cleaning costs and any slight misclick usually results in a dead civilian we probably shoot civilians do his money but feel free to gun him down I mean oh [ __ ] that was a miss click I did that if you press 3 he automatically throws it I thought he would just take it out you can take SWAT members as hostages to which can't hurt ask any lawyers you want there's no such thing as too much leverage I'm gonna trade you in oh yes yes have him surrender and then light him on fire can I see this two guy's eyeballs oh I think I can I'm [ __ ] up now I told you I would burn the tedious detail so enough about the bad guys who are actually the good guys but let's talk about the clowns I mean let's talk about you you can be encapsulated in this one screen right here inventory from who you are to what your pack into what skills you bring to the table don't worry if it looks complicated cuz all compressed is [ __ ] for you in no time congratulations you've ruined a character you choose has no impact on gameplay you've got xx some to choose from and just he can put names to faces their mask Dallas is by far the most recognizable ah I need a medic back ah James is the black guy that's legally considered a pickle in 14 states Hoxton not to be confused with Houston is definitely Hoxton and in no way houston you got don't act dumb wolf is the token foreigner with zero patience imagine an ironic Lee being European the [ __ ] door open the last of the payday gangbang he doesn't have time to be a clown because he's too busy managing the entire circus your mask has no impact on gameplay but god damn it is it ever import masks or at least 74.3% of the fun in payday 2 and mine are so bad I'm basically an enemy of mankind at large just execute me already I'm gonna confuse you for a cloak her posture is just edgy like if you put the word society in comics am Joe Bob we gotta burn down cop Joe Joe Bob about sending a Miss in the man put the money in the back yeah please don't punch any kids in the face are you a burt baby mickey you have ruined the last so I am Mitch McConnell feed me poor people you may not like it but this is peak male performance right here this is peak Doge dude you can't make fun of me for being a walking [ __ ] post this whole game is an elaborate [ __ ] post just look at the payday 2 Twitter accounts right in the kisser hot dog hi stirs armories where we get into [ __ ] that does affect the game and I'll keep it simple walking into a bank in a two-piece suit aka zero armor go dude high speed low drag you're fast and your detection risk is very low because you know walking into a bank with a suit on is perfectly normal and not suspicious at all bad news [ __ ] hits the fan and you have no Kevlar whatsoever and meatbag human beings are notorious for their lacking bullet resistance [ __ ] are you doing Mickey you know in friction walking into a bank with maximum arm good news you're an 800-pound gorilla in an Ironman suit you eat RPGs for breakfast and are sometimes mistaken for an N 1 a 2 a bad news you are suspicious as [ __ ] and slow as [ __ ] because I'm like a two-piece suit normal people don't get kitted out in 100 pounds of body or just to deposit a check or take out a loan so kiss tells goodbye and be prepared to have your cover blown in two second god you're so [ __ ] slow boy oh yeah I have no bullets I should probably go back inside I'll see you fellas later oh god that's not an inside way thank God I'm an 800-pound gorilla I don't know how it would survive this otherwise I'd am I wrong and choosing speed versus armor is usually dictated by the build you're running with a combination of skills and perks don't freak out I'm not gonna make it complicated and I'm not gonna crush you with terminology I know you've been playing payday for two hours but if you don't have the stone for tech backs down right now skills and perks are just ways of making your character better at certain things period the end that's it not so scary right now when people yell the words blank bill that you they're just telling you what their character is really good at with the two prevailing builds being tank build and dodge [ __ ] tank build is super simple and it's what I run most of my skill points are spent maxing out armor and ammo so I can be a walking block of tungsten with more bullets than God and bulldoze the bulldozers [ __ ] you pull dozer I'm not moving I'll reload right front of your face boy skill points become more abundant as you level up and can be allocated in any way you want you could put points in every tree to make yourself a jack-of-all-trades or blow it all in one tree to make yourself a one-trick pony hurts don't give you that freedom because you have to choose just one tree and I went with muscle maxed out to give me [ __ ] tons of health and figuratively make me into an 800-pound gorilla oh my god I'm now at 800-pound gorilla yep roughly four times as much HP as he knows that I'm an 800-pound gorilla and all of his skills are useless Oh keep in mind that the skills and perks you choose can either be straightforward like hey I'm running Ironman which makes me kind of slow and basically immortalize everyone so fast because I'm running ultra Ironman build and I'm basically made out of tungsten or they can be just absurd like Bulletstorm in the ammo tree that gives anyone a bottomless magazine for 15 seconds after resupplying for my ammo bags okay I want to do the RPG yes yes yes I want you guys to spawn all right I ran out you know what the best part about that whole thing was badger is that that was one m203 it was a single m203 and on the topic of absurd let's talk about those dodge bills you always hear about what you mean you're not running a full challenge crate with three concealment dodge is a hilarious mechanic that gives you a percentage chance to not take damage when you're shot just imagine a dozer pulls up and shoots you in the chest but instead of you immediately taking damage there's the split-second roll of the dice that occurs to determine whether that shot is a hit or a miss and players with jacks dodge stats have a very high chance that bullets are gonna miss and do no damage almost as if they dodged a bullet again it's literally just a percentage chance to not take damage when shot but visualizing it this way makes a whole lot more sense in my brain yes yeah if you're not running dodge what do you usually run for like I use your mug yes do you like gambling with your life as far as I'm concerned dodge bills are the wizard lizards of payday 2 they neo their way around entire levels of the speed of light tiptoeing around thousands of rounds with zero body armor or concern that they're gambling with their lives god I miss her percent chance to dodge bullets but not 60% chance to dodge alimony and some of the additional skills and perks people spec in dodge builds are just as hilarious like second wind which jacks up your movement speed when your armor breaks so sometimes setting yourself on fire is a good idea two words that I heard work Renae I don't feel too good that's not impressive how about Kickstarter we're mailing a broken drill or saw gives it a 50% chance of just fixing itself so you Zoomer so we get it in the 90s Oh somebody's stopped no well how about a 23 round m1 garand if that isn't some of the coolest [ __ ] you've ever heard please close this video briefly in this tip or just have an m1 garand and don't even get me started on inspire and swan song those are just ridiculous but you get it now there's maximum shock maximum dodge and everything in between let's pick a [ __ ] load out already equipment comes first with supporting items like ammo bags medic bags first-aid kits all the [ __ ] that's really useful when you're in a pinch oh my god oh you shut the [ __ ] up and trying to enjoy and I tell you what the weapon arsenal in this game is so vast and so varied it rivals literally any game I've ever played oh he does get stunned by we got new [ __ ] we got old [ __ ] we got powerful [ __ ] we got dummy [ __ ] we got [ __ ] that explodes [ __ ] that sets on fire if you can't find a weapon you love and payday - imma need you to move your ass to another planet no can listen if I'm at a bank and somebody Rob's it with a flamethrower I'm givin in my money you want to tear through an entire police force in style go akimbo whether that's Glocks and Eagles or 45 long slides without the custom laser sight I don't see why all the payday 2 veterans are hating on the akimbo Glock 18 with our PG secondary bills I don't see the issue with this bill hurry up oh god the deagles are just definitely too deagle running 45 long slides without the laser sighting you cash no shortage of explosives with RPGs commando rocket launchers and China puffs if bullets just don't hit hard enough bulldozer you know what that means oh that's so true herp endure imagine being a police veteran that's two months away from retirement you go to one final dispatch there's some [ __ ] or where your [ __ ] toes you mask I mean you're gonna kill everybody in the room with the back blast anyways a quorum and then I just turn you off that's the reticle I just I just go Boop you're the free trial of life has expired I wish a gamer would you probably should have brought a secondary that uses coal it's never in a million years [ __ ] you Bing everything has trade-offs like a mini gun maybe crazy powerful but your detection rating is gonna suck because you can't concealed-carry some [ __ ] that big you'll burn through your ammo with it and sometimes be forced to rely on mail a concealment of - how do I get that to zero my man got a detection risk of 75 the literally max give me your bullets you [ __ ] give me your bullets Danny are you really gonna make me take them from you you [ __ ] I hate you goddamn alien throwables or yet another rabbit hole do you want to light someone on fire with a Molly or throw a javelin under their neck do you want to smack someone in the face with bolt cutters or beat the [ __ ] out of them with a literal wad of cash you get what I mean magic I dig the attempt of trying to bring a dozer down with a hockey stick weapon attachments and customization add another layer of complexity but I won't complicate things just like skills and perks you spend these things called Continental coins to make your weapons bed oh my brows to reload on this people mad bro [ __ ] you bulldozer no matter what weapon you choose you're welcome to make it as standard or disgusting as your heart desires thanks to customization the thanos 50 Cal is a prime example I can make it even stubbier Oh Kraus [ __ ] off why where is the barrel gonna fly into to compensate for the recoil when you fire it ATF that is a pistol life step is to the ATF your that is a brace loop how dare you my hip fires in this gun now my hip fires are this good now I'm gonna do complicated again just pick something you like the synergizes with your lotus-like my setup of an 800-pound gorilla in a mech suit carrying a snubnose minigun I call the weed whacker abusing the Bulletstorm skill for literally 60 seconds of a bottomless magazine oh god imagine this [ __ ] walked into your bag time for the unlimited bullets meme Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie it's like a memory leak that p-3 above me how to stop the exit would you kill someone does it refresh no I baby begin just - even for 25 straight seconds of pity and that about covers it keep in mind that there are some things you'll have no problem learning or getting used to on your own like bugs you'll encounter that's the one oh he got stuck my boy is morph into a different dimension I can fire RPG why why explain what I think you're finally ready to start pressing f on [ __ ] murdering thousands of cops and bumping the legendary soundtrack doe to soundtrack and set same as host cuz heavenly wanted to hear don't act dumb I love Razer mind I love backstab but above all else I love random there's just something different about getting a banger of a song by chance especially if that banger is I will give you my all while blasting people off of a high-rise [Music] you're so right Rudy the poor people just drive a death road around this building and in case you were curious you can't in fact play it in VR as if this [ __ ] really needed more features come a day for mercy today is not that day I'll stop I'll stop I mean the Cracker Barrel is the Firelink shrine for white people when you die you respawn and that's about it that's all I got to say please buy some gamers subs holy [ __ ] man it bulldozes your thirst and it is the greatest powder ever to be mixed with water or set up on Twitch or do something I got to make money on this video somehow and YouTube sure as [ __ ] isn't gonna monetize me getting show slammed by cloakers for 20 minutes I'd like to thank you so very much for watching and be sure to tune in next time but you know what [Music]

Channel: TheRussianBadger

Views: 8,435,800

Rating: 4.9533029 out of 5

Keywords: payday 2, payday 2 gameplay, payday 2 funny moments, gameplay, heist, payday 2 game, pd2, live commentary, shenanigans, payday 2 funny, dlc, death wish, rainbow six siege, tactical swat game, lets play, payday 2 2020, tactic, payday gameplay, payday 2 bulldozer, bulldozer, payday 2 cloaker, cloaker, commentary, playthrough, overkill, payday 2020, payday 2 jewelry heist, gaming, new, payday2, payday 2 review, payday 2 trailer, cloakers, achievement, multiplayer, difficulty, russian badger, build

Id: Op86LURDtCk

Length: 26min 1sec (1561 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 07 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/iPod427]

After all of the payday 2 references he would put in his videos from time and again, I'm happy he finally made a standalone payday video to meme around in and draw more people into the game if not already

[u/zNightUnicorns]

It’s really nice to see how many views it’s getting so fast too, nice to know that there’s still a huge community still interested in the game even if they don’t play it.

[u/DANNYonPC]

Spicy!

[u/R0b0man]

I wish their was more cloaker.

[u/SirDezgamer]

LETS FUCKING GOOO

[u/Micanikko]

It made me happy

[u/AdamBry705]

He made me wanna relay it and it's been years. Lol I never go above overkill and just make shitter dodge builds

[u/[deleted]]

Badger is such an entertaining content creator, holy hell. I got into PD2 after this vid and already have 15 hours into it after owning the game for 2 days

[u/i_just_sub]

Video hyped me up to start playing again, but alas, I forgot the turmoil of being a pd2 console player.