r/Terriblefacebookmemes | click to become 45 years old

i got a new stick deodorant today the instructions said remove cap and push up bottom i can barely walk but whenever i fart the room smells lovely thank you facebook for reminding me that minions were a thing damn boy hi hello howdy doody welcome to mk glad to see you back my name is jack yes ladies i can rhyme so here we are together to enjoy some terrible fesser of memos the kind of stuff that your parents love to share to you when you just kind of cringe up but then suddenly also laugh at because it is actually pretty clever but don't you dare admit it to your parents otherwise they would they will keep sending it to you and you oh god it'll never stop and if you think that's bad well buddy trust me you do not want to let your parents get tick-tock anyway it's time to pretend we're in our 50s and hating our significant other let's go i said alexa what do women want the thing hasn't shut up for seven days do you get it because women want things oh that's funny women women are things principles office i said a prayer in class i pledge the allegiance to the flag i said merry christmas america as we knew it is going down the toilet folks i'm sorry who quoted that pac man didn't know that video game character was such a conservative i'm 84 and my body is full of aches and pains well i'm 85 it feel like a newborn baby really yep no teeth no hair and i just wet my pants why can't trump go to white house anymore because it's forbidden now if you look very very carefully you can see this is meant to be a joke because of laughing emojis if women watch cooking shows the way men watch football that is too much orange zest are you ready [ __ ] okay now this is kind of sexist but i would be keen to watch a show where people just absolutely get frustrated like this over people's cooking it's like goggle box and gordon ramsay mixed together i'm 45 but i have the body of a 19 year old mm-hmm prove it opens freezer it scares me this is a terrible facebook meme because this one is actually pretty good oh my gosh the symbolism the sea of phones he got lost in them but look this book came to life and grew really disturbing appendages no one is bringing him back to life not gonna say that's not where the lungs are buddy that that's the stomach oh you're getting shorter boomers some people will only like you if you fit inside their box don't be afraid to shove their box right up their butt how do you tell the sex of an ant throw it in water if it sinks girl ant if it floats of course it's a baby with a subtle expression i just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left hey do you get it yes dad did you see the baby too yeah thank you baby the water buffalo was getting tired of being the designated driver for the beer buffalo which explains why you've never heard of a beer buffalo anymore e m c squared energy equals milk and coffee squared calm down calm down be careful who you have a child with see i'm sorry ladies this is why we don't like tall girls because you could be really giant and suddenly lift up the kids too easily and that that's just not safe glad we're sticking to a theme today where it's a woman bad everyone look woman bad i have to admit catwoman you were not as i expected until this corona thing is over could y'all please use this emoji when laughing at my post i ain't taking no chances uno percent battery remaining this brought to you by pretty audio death because if you're using a machine to keep yourself alive you definitely have the energy to get up out of bed the police stopped me and said papers and i said scissors i win i think he wants to rematch he's been chasing me for 45 minutes wow really on the side of the road cheat codes then cheat codes now i don't like this timeline cashier the self checkout is available karen i don't work here oh madam i am so sorry for trying to make things more convenient for you how silly of us people who post motivational quotes about mark and bill gates being college dropouts idiots they were harvard college dropouts not from college i mean they have a point there's like what two of them compared to the millions of others who dropped out and didn't get anywhere successful noodle meep moo noodle me meat move noodle meat moo moo oh no [Music] it's the final countdown i'm avoiding copyright strikes i may be looking like i'm having deep thoughts but 99 of the time i'm thinking about what i'm going to eat later this ain't even a meme it's literally just a status update eggs bread milk eggs bread milk yeah poo forgot my mask one bad photoshop later ah what did i need i'm sorry but no one's grocery list out there is as simple as just eggs bread and milk 90s kids didn't grow up we evolved as a 90s kid i'd like to apologize to the other generations for this this that is an adorable way of saying we got big and fat and there's one mate in our friendship group who just it just won't grow where is your growth spurt only some people will get this give it back after 10 years a wife started to think their child looks kind of strange so she did a dna test and found out the child is not theirs she told her husband what she found out the husband replied you don't remember do you when we were leaving the hospital the baby pooped and you told me go and change him so i went inside and got a clean one and left the dirty one there the wife fainted kidnapping infants memories imagine sitting here while it's raining outside can imagine being a waiter in this job just serving drenched meals and someone farts in it no place to run i suppose you're all wondering why i've spontaneously invited you to dinner season most females don't answer video calls after 9 pm because their face has been restored to factory settings so you can tell someone at least over the age of 40 made this one see they relate to each other because technology also i hate my wife is that fish being tested for mercury i can't eat that i'm a vegan is that bread gluten free ah such a truth shame on our society being so advanced that we can actually be picky and more healthy with our diet choices i'm sorry i have to let you all go but you're just not freaks anymore oh yeah won't somebody think of the freak show industry gosh they they're really suffering with all this respect and understanding of people's applause farting is like the song from frozen see look at work you gotta conceal it and don't feel it but at home you fart and parts are funny i am a grown adult why is this so morbid i'm part of the generation that respected our parents drink from a garden hose stood for the flat plate outside toy guns got spanked and i survived is that all you've got a chair if you did too so why don't you have a boyfriend my parents are strict so why don't you have a girlfriend because your parents are strict well play thank you comment that's come with the meme i fall i wouldn't have thought otherwise oh oh my god i are they all like one gender like they they're not male or female i'm pretty sure i don't know i don't want to read this one i'm just gonna leave it here for you to [ __ ] wow this is peek facebook so you want a divorce from minnie because she's a bit silly no i said she's freaking goofy 1969. explain these grades today explain these bad grades all the facebook mums be like oh so true these kids get away with everything but not my child no my child's an angel i will wipe out half of the universe what if population is an odd number somehow this has defeated me 2019 it was just a half-naked man hanging outside your bedroom window but in 2021 oh everyone's doing it so i made new hall passes for my students okay i mean that is look it's it's trying to connect with the kids i'm i guess well meme faces they better not be making a comeback school two two week with four homework two plus three plus four equals nine exam john has four apples his train is twelve minutes early calculate the massive sun i did not trip the floor looked sad so i thought it needed a hug i hate when some website asks me are you human no i'm mango i changed all my passwords to incorrect so whenever i forget it will tell me your password is incorrect now please laugh because i put a celebrity's face still he's laughing so you you should find it funny now no you don't okay well i'm gonna put a minion here and i'll say uh whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an ipad see the funny thing is because i i did that once and um so i think it's quite uh relatable what do you mean they're not relatable the whites like toilet paper of course you'd mix them up dating a jealous chick maybe where are you church but jesus on the phone right now hola this is jesus you can no longer stop me no no i'm in charge i'm building the ice cream room i just stepped on a cornflake now i am officially a serial killer oh wow that's a joke that no one has ever made before roses are red corona got us masking china didn't start this it was a carol button basking a baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear unless it's 3am and you're home alone and you don't have a baby well that's not how you make potato like the awkward really what's awkward the fact you're pouring your foreskin in the soup or that yeah you're literally a talking potato my girlfriend has 206 bones in her body now 207 now 206 now 207 now 206 [Music] only legend will get this well i hope legend shares with us how this makes sense because i honestly i cannot put it together mom dad i'm 18 now it's time i spread my legs and said goodbye it's wings spread your wings misguided youth ah yeah if only there was some adults in this world who could be more responsible in guiding our youth ah only they existed look silly but the kids are finally listening to us so absurd that our education practices which have been the same since before cars were even made has to change for a modern world what's next minion memes not being funny dear mcdonald's thank you for not serving hot dogs i don't think i could order a super-sized mcqueener with a straight face sincerely dirty mind i see i miss non-pc humor anything you say can be used against you i know i'm married well you two should go to counseling no thanks i'll just stick to making passive aggressive posts about my wife and my comedy they don't want to put you on either no the very fact you were so close together is just unsanitary beyond the humor oh gee what okay there's like three segments to this meme page to weigh 50 meters or miles water nine kilometers when you failed in chemistry exams why are you high he is good in math though kilometers there's less than mild i used to bulk at educating videos about how to make memes and now now i'm understanding their purpose facebook memes they're mean and just a little taste of minions what thing oh my god oh come on friends are like boobs you've got big ones small ones real ones and fake ones they also develop cancer i've been jack bringing the mood down since 1994 having one hundred dollars as an adult having twenty dollars as a kid yeah boy three stages of life short young and stupid tall motivated and hopeful short again hates everything and everyone there needs to be some sort of conspiracy theory out there that the minions movie advertised through facebook memes me kills a huge mouse with a baseball bat everyone else at disneyland okay that that is pretty clever oh my god you fell no i'm a vegan i just got the munchies because that is me of again i eat grass because green and not meat knock knock is the house saying knock knock okay who's there not you that one went back to babies with weird subtle expressions if olive oil is made from olives what is baby oil made of oh my god yeah that's what i thought to myself too when i noticed you must have literally screenshotted the word document because why are the red squiggly lines still there previously pour the boiling oil now turn off their internet oh so true ah man take me back to the good old days where you could be murdered as a public citizen be careful who you help people forget their past easily really i am very confident that person would be very well aware if that is a lion or not and that's oh i see now see kids this is why you don't buy too many micro transactions you might accidentally level up your cat too much and you won't have enough badges to control it some of you will get it oh gee willikers i've never touched a gun before but i i wonder what that means pew oh that must be just the the sound effects button of the gun your x-ray showed a broken rib but we fixed it with photoshop v-a medical mum said she found this pipe in my car and that we needed to have a talk now in case you don't know what it is it's not a pipe it's not a pipe that's all i know knock it off you know perfectly well that's a plus sign my mobile is pregnant hope i will get iphone 7 soon dude what is your face you do a decent job with photoshopping the phone but you your face wow did you show this to anyone before making it not even going to start questioning the relation between a pregnant phone and an iphone 7. get a manicure please silly putty implies the existence of serious putty i believe that's c4 and that kids is why we never take putty seriously because then scientifically it'll be able to explode and kill us all when your post gets all six reactions okay but by this logic you literally caved in someone's skull to get that angry reaction didn't you and i know at least one of those other ones you've you've sacrificed someone you love i'm sorry daughter but the facebook like i have to ah it's for the meme do alcoholics run in your family no but they stumble around and break stuff a basic but clever joke where a completely irrelevant image and characters we're on to a good start your brain it'll only be a tiny fart nobody is going to hear it your age but in a really melodic and harmonious way i'm married but i want a hot girl go and boil your wife let's not on a positive note the return of christ has not been cancelled he's still coming of all the christian related people that could be in this post you chose peter griffin pretty certain he is not christian hey nice dp i'll remove it oh nice status i'll remove it nice dress yes because we all have statuses on instagram don't we i of robert harmstringholm touring this water into rum i need this boy in my crew well i mean it's not the most ridiculous crossover girlfriend no girlfriend hold up did he sell his girlfriend how i see people when they laugh at you for saying the earth is flat it's clever i'll give it that the snoring of men is the karma of women women don't shut up all day and men don't shut up all night oh a facebook meme that hates on women and men equally that's a rarity no but then again karma of women implies that this is their punishment so uh maybe not why did i get fat during quarantine husband you weren't really skinny to begin with time of death 11 pm cause covet yeah because you're faking them all this is how they record them down i know because i watched the video on facebook it's called reading it's how my generation uploads software into our brains what does it say about your generation when you think reading is a unique trait of yours like you genuinely think you're the only ones that do it that's why we're better we're more racist but we read oh dear you have a fever i'll make chicken soup for you just give him paracetamol no why do you have teeth you're a chicken this is hilarious no seriously why does he have teeth also mum if your skin is white why is your shirt down all the way like that hey alexa can you make me a meme that shows that i'm not intimate with my wife anymore great thank you tater swift tater's gotta take a day date when you say a swear word and turn around and there's a teacher behind you i'm going to accept this because there's no minion on it still resorting to a child's thing to make this relevant to people in their 50s but i'll allow it oh look they've started to make teenager mannequins look at them clearly with bad posture due to mental health issues and stress haha you're pathetic have you tried pushing them deep down into your subconscious that it ends up affecting your ability to be an effective parent ah amateurs bacardi and water liver damage vodka and water kidney injuries my mate daniel and i in water heart problems yeah that's just daniel and i hot drops and heartbreakers it is my scientific deduction that something is wrong with this water what do you have there spare wheel yeah i don't think it's gonna be as effective if it's around the neck a pastor announced if you know your wife is controlling you move to the left all the men in the church moved to the left except one man the pastor was happy there was at least one strong man and asked how come your wife can't control you the man quietly replied it's my wife that told me not to move he was just there looking like a pickle i kid you not it was the funniest thing i've ever seen clean the tv with antivirus wipes while cnn msnbc nbc abc and cbs see i'm glad i live in australia i don't have to bother doing that myself i just get my government to do it accidentally for me can't find my news anywhere now thanks prime minister a man's day a woman's day this is symbolically the lyrics to frozen when you're a man you're concealed don't feel don't let them know but as a woman you just you let it go not turning back anymore your genders emotional standards are bs people don't believe in this outdated stuff at work over 30 years you're dead by friday under 30 years you're dead from monday and literally what you're a zombie i guess brings and when you're 50 it's a constantly suffering time loop everybody gets groundhog day life is just like a pee pee simple relaxed and hanging freely it's the women that make it hard because we can't finish this video without hating on women just a little bit more 2019. oh look monkey you see the monkey yeah dad it's a baby monkey it's got a subtle expression on it enough craig turned it into a meme [Laughter] [Music] the joke there is that the monkeys are saying the same thing as the dad it's probably gonna come off terribly but it sounded funny in my head and that's what matters oh my gosh this camera is amazing it even has auto zoom mate i'm more impressed by your clothes having complete wind resistance what brand is that pure stone hey are you alive by the way oh you are well done my little cherub you survived an onslaught of cringy but also suddenly funny bits here and there humor of facebook memes here have a confetti firework explosion thing slash whatever the editor puts in here if they bother to put anything in here that's for you while you enjoy this serendipitous moment it is time to highlight some fan art today's work is by craftycrafts64 oh i see you this is the wrong room uh the subreddit for emily's down the hallway to the left look don't worry we'll highlight your fan art nonetheless it's all right we'll let them know here we go clearly uh inspired and made through the remains of their enemies on a side note i guess i don't need to wonder what's happened to my sister anymore thank you for the blood sacrifice craftycraft if you still have her wallet i'd appreciate grabbing that off you as she did owe me 20 bucks and remember folks if you'd like to show your fan art as well as make any other sacrificial offerings to our channel be sure to post your work in the mk subreddit so we can grab them and put them in the next video oh look at you not dead yet well that's good we we like that here we like the not deadness congrats on making it through the gauntlet of terrible festa booker menace here is your thumbs up sticker good job you a good person if you're this far in and actually managed to enjoy your time here firstly what is wrong with you are you okay do you need therapy secondly a like of this video does go a long way you'd very much appreciate it if you did it do it do it heck if you've got more time why not check out another video try to cleanse your palate of this one otherwise hope you had some fun my name's been jack your rambly voice today i love your face and i'll see you next time bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 367,064

Rating: 4.9478254 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Terriblefacebookmemes

Id: -2U4DBADR4E

Length: 20min 24sec (1224 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 18 2021