Rome Total War But I Use Guns

good stuff look at that oh i love the sounds of the explosions and the cannons it's beautiful this is where the fun begins how does the boat do the boat is not doing good oh no they're t-posing in the water what would happen if the pre-roman britons had access to modern weaponry and used it to fight off the romans hey t-source michael here where today we're going to be solving exactly that problem as we're going to be loading up all of the lovely britannic tribes with what can only be described as a modern rpg and unleashing this gigantic britannic horde of modern weapons across the entirety of the roman empire it's going to be perfectly balanced so yes welcome ladies and gentlemen i am of course the spiffing grit and today in rome total war 2 which is basically given the lovely kingdom of britain a unique and specially powerful unit one which has incredible range accuracy and most importantly fires explosive rounds of death it's incredibly silly it's incredibly stupid and it's wonderfully overpowered so without further ado ladies and gentlemen make sure you sat back relax with a nice warm cup of yorkshire tea in hand as we're about to begin a brand new grand campaign as the brits so welcome ladies and gentlemen this is the wonderful world of rome total war ii as you can see we start over here in kamlundenon it's not quite london it's not quite cambridge it's just this thing on the coast like okay before the romans came and colonized us we weren't exactly very good at making real settlements but luckily we don't really have to worry about the romans invading us for quite a while because they start all the way down here and the year is 272 bc we've got quite a way to go before they actually decide to try and sail over here and defeat us but what advantages do we have well the thing is even though the year is 272 bc we're not actually limited by the standard rules of britain you see we've glimpsed into the future using the incredible powers of tea and this has given us access to some absolutely wonderful technologies what kind of technologies well allow me to present to you this incredible britain slinger that's right because this is the ultimate unit a britain slinger is just 100 british lads who have been equipped with modern state-of-the-art weaponry they have a range of 400 they have 60 shots per minute they have basically unlimited ammunition and they are absolutely incredible they cost basically nothing to maintain because we've effectively found hundreds of street urchins and given them an rpg if you find a street urchin and give them an rpg they'll do just about anything for free consequently that makes them a highly affordable unit so we're going to do what can be expected and march with our lovely new unit and try and take over these settlements here i'm also going to improve this army here and recruit a few more slingers and then we'll march this one all the way down south down to iska and there we go this is just going to be our first turn we've got a lot of lovely adventures planned it's going to take us a little while to actually unify the entirety of the british hours because those northerners are audi again plus also cornwall for some reason believes it should be independent and well the worship being welsh but that's fine they're hoarding gold mines apparently so uh naturally you know we have to invade them can't allow the welsh to manage their own gold mines no we have to do that for them well the end of the first turn goes quite well nothing has really happened and so we'll just march onto this lovely city here and it looks like there's no one defending it which is fantastic that means we can just walk in and occupy it and there we go that's an entire faction destroyed lovely stuff all right and now that we have our main army here equipped with as many briton slingers as possible we're going to march this one down south and take out the people from cornwall and now that we have access to that gold mine in wales you know we're going to immediately improve that gold mine i want more money yes more money i want coal mines everywhere we don't need coal okay we can't really use it but i want the coal mines there just as a matter of principle because when you think britain you think tea you think coal and then you think rain and depression and self-loathing and oh my god it's a death spiral well i'll march onto our friends down here in demonia is gonna go very well as we're about to declare war on them which is fantastic so in we go technically they did like us you know we actually had to come in and attack them because they weren't doing enough with their land so i thought we should probably give it a go instead now they themselves do have access to two britannic slingers which is actually quite a terrifying thing indeed because remember these units are incredible but one thing i've told you about these units is that they do incredible damage the one thing i didn't tell you however is that these are genuinely rpgs now what do i mean by that well um allow me to demonstrate our first linger here is about to open fire on all of these units over here oh no they open fire first and oh no our volley comes in good stuff look at that the grenades are raining in and they're doing splendid damage here onto the enemy britannic slingers they did get one volley off and it did very good at suppressing our men we've lost a lot of our own slingers here who've just been plastered into the snow it was not the best for them but it's okay is we do more damage than we take okay this first wave of slings is down and it is completely defeated fantastic right everyone switch fire to this set of britonix lingers over here oh yes they're nice and packed up lovely stuff easy pickings for our slingers ah perfect yes this was exactly the way the developers intended this game to be played ah high explosive slings of death whereas you see an arrow i see a rocket propelled grenade moving at high speed creating incredible damage i mean we had a misfire there and it did kind of take out a few men but you know these things happen now one of my favorite things to do with slingers is that even though you know we have taken over this territory and they have basically surrendered one of my favorite things to do is just say screw it and blow up everything in the entire vicinity anyway because we have spare ammunition so why not just destroy all of the tiny peasant hovels oh someone lived in this tiny tent well i personally would like them to move out they're ruining the view perfect all in all um it's gone quite well we've captured our first settlement uh there were a few minor casualties and i'm sure there were no civilian casualties i mean no one even lived in these houses they were already pre-demolished when we arrived okay this this building was like that when we came oh god well that's a fantastic first attack okay so we now have the welsh as well as all of the southerners subjugated so now we just have to move on to the north and take over the city of eboricon i also like how due to the way they've designed the game the lake district kind of just looks like a screaming face i mean this is usually the expression people make when they visit the lake district because you know the weather is so terrible all the time and with the fall of the northerners that's the entirety of england and whales solidified now we just simply need to move on to scotland where it would normally be an absolute nightmare to invade because you know it's snowing however luckily all of the people of scotland are currently all on holiday in a boat in the irish sea for some reason trying to invade ireland so it makes the conquest of scotland relatively easy oh my goodness and the irish just sailed out into the sea and killed the scots well rest in peace the poor scots anyway now that we've solidified most of great britain it's now off to ireland we go as we need to spread the joy so to speak and introduce them to the finer points of my pointy sticks as well as my culture and army ah look at it my beautiful empire britannia it looks fantastic now of course we have the entirety of this territory pretty much well secured it's beautiful we even have some allies with the proto frenchies uh but of course that's mostly just to stop anyone invading the british isles as our main army is actually located right down here in the mediterranean just outside the city of rome because that's right i've marched up a gigantic stack of these slingers and what next turn we're gonna bust down the walls of rome it is of course one of the greatest defended provinces in the game making it an absolute nightmare to take however we're going to pull it off as soon as feasibly possible for the british so without further ado it's time for the brits to just get a little bit of revenge by sacking the entire city of rome so we're calling my allies because why not and um yeah it says we have a 100 bajillion chance of winning because you know we brought surface-to-air missiles uh and you know what i think i'm just gonna do this one manually cause why not there's some plebs look at these plebs with wooden sticks dig against rpgs and miniguns yeah i mean it's it's not going to go well for them oh dear now we're going to get rid of all those boring siege weapons we don't need any of those as we can just make our way through the wall anyway oh my goodness it looks like they're actually defending the wall here now the thing is we could actually aim for them and do a bit of damage to these levy spear boys who are gonna try and hold javelins at us very dangerous very spiky but instead we could just have half of the slingers attack this section of wall and then the other half attack this section of wall and then the combined attack from the two of them should result in the entire wall caving away yeah that one worked out quite well there's just one poor guy still alive here this is the only survivor he's kind of stuck i don't think he can get down from here i'm sorry stephen but you're you're gonna be here for a while um in a few days time we'll come back and let you down i promise oh dear oh dear well that's a nice entrance um there's an arrow tower here so let me just quickly crack that bad boy open don't want an arrow tower now that would surely get in the way of our chaos here we're bam there we go the arrow tower is no more a couple of civilian buildings back there might have been damaged in the process but you know those things happen i'm just going to march up nice and close to them because i get the feeling that they ai doesn't actually allow them to exit the walls here which i'm pretty sure is correct and this basically means we can just wander up and murder them because they're never going to come out the other side oh are these the plebs oh it's the plebs oh i love the plebs the plebs are just basically random plague stricken peasants um led by a guy with a shield and a sword oh i feel sorry for them well it's time for us to free the plebs from their mortal coils by um taking out this gatehouse which is very annoyingly standing in our way so the gatehouse is gone now and a few of the people standing behind the gatehouse oh no the plebs oh we wounded the plebs maybe we can hit this very nice fancy spear unit back here look at this this is some high level spear units oh dear oh dear not a good time to be a spear boy oh my goodness it's pretty bad for the romans today that does appear to be an entirely dead squad well let's finish off the hastati and the rory eye here oh i love the sounds of the explosions and the cannons it's beautiful truly wonderful oh now we have some her starting over here hassati pretty good units very good i quite like them don't stand up well against actual explosions mind you however because they are mostly just you know men in red t-shirts with a metal plate on them yeah it's it's not the best oh it's not the best oh poor clarence he did not make it today well um i think that's pretty much it i think we've surprisingly cracked it open i think there's only one squad of plebs left so i'm just gonna run the men in actually can the men scale up this because it's telling me that my slingers can scale this wall and meet the one pawn survivor up here nope okay the game breaks it says it can't oh now that archer tower is causing some problems so let me just quickly murder that before they kill one of my lovely boys perfect it's gone along with a few of the walls behind it oh it's fantastic right over to the final square i would like to capture it please meanwhile i'm also just going to try and take out this arrow tower here as well as a few of the civilian buildings behind it oh dear oh dear wait hang a second can we blow up the coliseum of rome is this a viable thing can i actually blow this bad boy up or just this tower okay just this tower on the coliseum i can't actually blow up the incredible it's not the costume is the hippodrome is it i think that's the term for it oh i can blow up this gigantic temple over here though this one looks great okay right we're blowing that bad boy up this one here as well oh yes okay blow up this really nice looking expensive temple well the one final unit should be somewhere in this square here so we should discover it shortly come on it should just be probably one unit of speary boys might actually be a fancy unit maybe like a triarii or something where the heck is this one good unit oh my goodness it's not even here i know it is it is there it is there it is its prinky pears ah it is prince pears oh lovely stuff and the prinky pears are mostly dead uh these are very heavy elite troops look at them with their incredible armor their incredible armor is not strong enough against you know the the slingy boys well you know they're called slingers they're not really slingers and that was a glorious victory uh we've now captured the city of rome there we go rome has been captured it is nowhere is fantastic oh this is glorious right now i just have to wait for rome to try and march back with some arby's and actually put me under siege so that way we can have some fun with these cannons on a wall okay so the romans keep trying to get us to go to peace but i'm refusing to go to peace and the reasoning is simple i'm sitting on rome until i can convert this bad boy into britannic culture that's right gone is the latin culture say hello to druidic celtic culture that's right it's back baby rome is of course the pinnacle location for latin culture and yet we are somehow magically managing to convince 20 of the local populace to start worshiping druidic gods instead at the same time i'm waiting for the roman army to actually invade and attack me and so as part of that you know what i'm going to actually make it slightly more challenging for myself by deleting a large quantity of my defending army because i would love to bait them into actually fighting me i would love to have them try and attack me on the walls of rome i mean the walls of rome have slightly changed now we burnt down all of these lovely roman buildings and replaced them with slightly dodgy looking tribal buildings we got rid of everything and just replaced it with mud huts it's fantastic ah latin culture oh and here they go rome tried to offer us 1 500 gold for peace treaty no thank you friends i would like you to murder me i will wait as long as is necessary to let the roman ai build up to the point where it is gigantic so that it feels confident enough to fight me oh my goodness and one thing we can do is we can convert the culture of neighboring regions right we're going to send out the druids we're weaponizing the druids and sending them out to convert enemy settlements yes this is it oh we will convert everyone this is perfect rome is still absolutely pleading their way to try and get peace out to me it is not going to happen friends okay now rome wants to pay me slightly more money rome i'm not going to give you money oh my goodness we're absolutely hammering out these conversions now both of our druids have been increased so they can now increase their cultural conversion by plus 10. so that now means basically if both of these guys successfully fire off each turn we can culturally convert at a rate of 20 which is basically two percent per turn which is absolutely fantastically stupid all right convert oh that one failed okay and again go go go that won't work there we go 64 latin oh yes they'll be speaking celtic very soon oh the people of italy oh yes oh yes oh yes bastian of latin culture i think not say hello to stone circles my friends oh god i just love messing with the ai in these games now incredibly for some reason the etruscan league a random rebel force which has cropped up in italy since the you know romans lost a few of their settlements because for some reason they started worshiping the old gods they've decided that they can actually fight us for some unknown reason which is fine and dandy and fantastic so we're just going to greet them with the slinger surprise and as soon as they walk into range of us they will all immediately die let me turn off fire will actually i want them to get nice and close so that i can see them right and now i want to set these trees on fire so um okay will you in particular i want you to aim at this random spear boy and fro set these trees on fire okay they don't have tree fire setting but you know a little bit of early damage was done fantastic well now they're actually getting in nice and close right well it's free fire for everyone i think just unleash your shots wherever you think is best try not to hit the hovels though oh my goodness the hovels won't someone please think of the hovels oh yes please think of the inanimate buildings instead of you know all of the dead horses oh dear oh dear oh look at all of this mercenary italian cavalry oh and that spare war band rest in peace this cavalry is actually you know looking pretty spooky they're getting pretty close they were getting relatively close i don't think they're gonna be getting much closer let me just quickly turn on quick reload there you go so you reload even faster take them out lovely stuff fantastic the horses have been defeated and there we go the remaining experiment looks like they're not having the best of days either but the thing is these men aren't just range units no no no no these men whilst they might not look like it are also absolutely fantastic in melee combat as they have 150 armor because as you can see they wear their battle pajamas anyway that was a glorious victory um now pulling off what exploits that this game has i like to call it the free units exploit because that is exactly what it is basically you stack enough of these amazing temples so that when you get down to the migration edit down here the recruitment cost for units goes down even further so we're just stacking it over and over again until we cause some lovely chaos but of course in order to do that i actually need to unify the entirety of italy so we're sending an army down south to capture neapolis here and then as soon as we have that we will have not only a cultural dominance strategical control over all of italy but we will also be able to summon free units out of thin air right and now just a quick waltz in to neapolis was it has basically no garrison yeah it's pretty pathetic they've got boats though i'd kind of like to fight some boats let's see what happens when we when we put sliggers against boats who wins slingers versus boats fight oh it's a lovely evening in italy perfect weather to just have this one unit of slingers try and snipe a boat out of the water i'll put one on this side as well let's start the battle okay there's the boats they're kind of in range we just need to get even closer in range now our first few volleys are taking out the waves of plebs that were defending the settlement it's okay but what i really want to do is have these slingers here take out the free boats that are just sailing around the water here oh it'll be fantastic first boat coming into range now here we go british rpgs versus raiding light ships oh yes come on this is where the fun begins how does the boat do the boat is not doing good right boat two oh no the boats are trying to turn away they can sense that something's gone terribly wrong here and it's sinking okay and boat free it's just sinking and there's just people still on it oh no they're t-posing in the water oh dear oh dear oh dear well that's the boat sorted then um oh dear the men are just jumping off and getting thrown around in the sea well i don't blame them they know the ship's sinking anyway you know let's switch these british boys into melee mode and send them into these sword plebs on come on slingy boys i know you've got it in you all right now my boys are running into the rear of the hastati which are apparently just choosing to run straight towards us for some seemingly unknown reason all right but then come the britannic slingers here we go boys right charge into the starting go go go go use your tiny knives perfect oh it's also perfect oh yes lovely go my men go they don't get a charge bonus but um so far none of them have died because of their incredible armor and the herstati is melting lovely stuff indeed these plebs chasing down my missile boys here of course they are right well turn around and fight the plebs i don't know why the plebs think they can win oh no oh the plebs rest in peace plebs rest in peace well turns out britannic slingers are pretty darn good when it comes to melee combat we haven't lost a single one yet yep no casualties and lots of kills fantastic stuff and there we go the entire settlement is ours fantastic stuff indeed well that's now another settlement that is ours and so we'll naturally seize control of it cancel the edict over here and then we'll get started on the migration edict over here which is apparently going to allow minus 40 unit recruitment cost but that is actually just the start we're going to improve this massively so let the fun begin well here we have it ladies and gentlemen we're finally ready to start operation summon army from thin air as you can see the province of italy here is about to finish construction of four gigantic sanctuary of tow ties uh tatty i have no idea just druidic circle thing now the important thing about this temple is that when it's completed it provides a minus 20 unit recruitment cost for the migration edict which currently with the all of the level three temples allows us to purchase units at a minor 75 discount this is pretty good especially when you consider that a levy freeman cost 210 to recruit normally that's a decent amount of money but of course we wait next turn and see what happens and here we have it ladies and gentlemen all of these lovely sanctuaries have now been built meaning we can finally activate the migration edict for a minus 95 unit recruitment cost so we'll activate that edict i don't think it comes online instantaneously no of course no we have to wait next time but at the same time we have all of these druidesses standing nearby as well which also decrease unit recruitment cost i know it's incredible so all we have to do is wait until next turn and this is where things are gonna get a little bit silly oh my goodness i love this game and there we go we're bam the turn has now moved over the edict has been issued now if we go to central rome and click to recruit some new units let's hire the most expensive unit we have access to the levy swordsman now this unit normally costs 340 gold to recruit that's a decent bit of money gonna buy 10 of these bad boys that's 3400 gold down the drain however how much do they cost us to buy oh that's right they're free oh we've done it i love this game this is great this is fantastic why not it's just everything's free lovely incredible ah perfectly balanced there we go now that we can recruit units for free um let's go finish off the remaining romans oh wait there's a settlement over here with a full stack army defending it perfect lovely right we're gonna just one drawn up with our seven men and we're gonna teach these barbarians a fun lesson about slingers now i do have 500 000 gold in the bank that's just because i've been sat here for so long with basically nothing to do because no one will want to come and fight the person with the gigantic rpgs defending them i mean i can understand why it's just very lonely all right and now it is time for us to attack potavium with a gigantic army of just seven men against their gigantic army i mean they actually do have a gigantic army it should be exciting here we go it's looking like we might not even stand a chance at 600 men versus almost 2 000 oh my goodness who will win uh it should be me let us fight oh we even surround the settlement that makes it fantastic so seeing as we surround the settlement i think if we just have one set of slingers on all sides of this settlement then we can really not just intimidate them but also keep them trapped and it also means we get to cover the entirety of this entire village excluding a small area here where none of the slingers can hit i guess just the remainders of the men could just stand here right let's start the battle ah let the slinging commence ladies and gentlemen oh and comes the first few explosions and that's a whole bunch of dead celtic slingers now they are considering sending a whole bunch of light horses our way to counter us however in come the more slingers ah fantastic stuff already oh you shouldn't have bunched up men also the shields above your head aren't gonna help shields don't stop rpgs they don't that's not how it works oh the lighthouses have been decimated how's the other side of the town doing oh there's absolutely nothing on the other side of the town right well slingers march on into the center then oh my goodness they appear just to be walking to us in a very slow but methodical line no oh why did you hold up the shield why don't you just run away it's the safest thing you could do oh dear oh dear oh dear the enemy general is apparently dead uh rest in peace well i think we've captured this settlement although oh there's some light horses that we didn't see running up to us oh my goodness that is exceedingly smart definitely didn't see that one coming right well i guess we fight them manually come on lads use your pointy sticks and one hit the horses no no friendly fire oh wait no that's not friendly fire that's fine that's just enemy slingers oh lovely stuff there we go they've all just broken glorious stuff that's the end of the battle well there you have it ladies and gentlemen this has been the introduction to the incredible british rpg slinger as well as the incredible way of just recruiting units for free because why actually pay for them when i could just raise an army here recruit it on in and then just recruit an entire gigantic wave of non-paid for birds i can't remember but i also think there might be an infinite money exploit whereby if you then turn off this edict and then cancel the troop recruitment you get money back and you can turn a profit via this method because we have 500 000 gold in the bag but you know for normal people that's an interesting fun thing you can do anyway ladies and gentlemen i've been the spiffing print and you've been watching us play a slightly non-standard rome total war campaign if you've enjoyed what you've seen today then make sure to give it a like and heck if you want to see more like it then do consider subscribing and joining our absolutely wonderful tea drinking fanatical community and of course if you are subscribed you're legally required to like this video failure to do so will result in the british secret service being sent around to your house to force you to consume tea as always a gigantic thank you to each and every one of our amazing patrons whose names you can see listed on screen now these majestic sausages make all of these videos all the more possible seriously thank you very much and have you sat there wondering what you'd like to watch next look no further than this video on screen now hand chosen by myself to be absolutely perfect for you anyway i'll see each and every one of you in the next one have an absolutely lovely day and good bye for now

Channel: The Spiffing Brit

Views: 980,769

Keywords: The, Spiffing, Brit, total war rome 2, rome total war 2, Total War Rome 2 But I use Guns To Break The Game, Can You Beat, with guns, can you beat with guns, Can You Beat Rome Total War With Guns, mod, funny, challenge, montage, rome gun, romans with guns, spiffing brit, funny moments, total war, game funny, funny challenge, total war rome 2 gameplay, mount and blade with guns, challenges, funny mod, perfectly balanced, rome total war, total war rome, the spiffing brit, total war 2

Id: IVt1ZA87Cr0

Length: 25min 26sec (1526 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 18 2021