r/Relationships My Girlfriend's Family Has a Weird S** Ritual

welcome to our slash relationship advice where op's girlfriend reveals her family's bizarre and disturbing wedding ritual i'm a 36 year old male and my wife is 34. my wife keeps tying my boots after i told her to keep her hands off of them i tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings yes i know this title is bizarre and i can't believe i'm actually writing this my wife is a neat freak always has been she throws away notes on my desk assuming they're garbage my belongings get rearranged to the point where it takes me hours to find them it's something i've come to accept i'm not happy about it but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole i'm a volunteer emt and i keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to my clothes hamper so that i can throw them on along with my uniform if a call comes in during the middle of the night well my wife is taking to tying the boot laces when she sees them untied not only does she tie them but she tightens them and double knots them to the point where i need to undo the knot open up the boots and let a little slack out to fit my feet into them i ignored it the first two times but the third time she did it i made it a point to bring it up to her the next day i very calmly said hun i appreciate that you want everything neat but please don't touch my boots in the future time is of the essence when i'm going on a call at two in the morning i don't have the time to unlace them and open them up it's not just a minor inconvenience it's people's lives so i would appreciate it if you left them alone she rolled her eyes said i was being dramatic and that she wouldn't help me out by keeping my things neat in the future well she never stopped no matter how many times i've asked her told her begged her she just laughs and says well you know how i am the other night a page went out for a cpr in progress i went to throw my boots on and they were once again tightened beyond recognition so i'm sitting there on the edge of the bed cursing trying to get my boots open and fumbling due to the stress of the situation my wife opened her eyes groggily looked at me and asked don't you need to go on that call i know i was in the wrong here and i regret it i slammed the boot into the ground and yelled yes i do i would have been out the door five minutes ago except some stupid mother effort screwed with my god dang boots again my wife got up without another word walked into the bathroom and slammed the door i got my boots open and went on the call by the time we arrived the police had resuscitated the victim so i didn't have to do cpr but i was sweating and shaking thinking my delay could have cost a life i got home and my wife wasn't talking to me she ignored me the entire day until we finally sat down and talked she said i'd scared her without angry i got that she thought i was going to hit her and she didn't know i was capable of getting so angry note i've never raised a hand to her nor have i ever yelled at her before i'm absolutely not a violent person in any way shape or form i apologize for yelling at her and acknowledged that i hadn't meant to snap at her i was frustrated with the situation as i needed to get to the person in need of cpr as soon as possible and it was a delay that didn't need to happen i once again pleaded with her not to touch my boots because lives were literally on the line she told me that if i was going to overreact and make her afraid then she would never touch my boots again because she didn't want to live like that last night before i got into bed i had a sinking feeling so i went over and checked my boots i was very disappointed to find them tightened up again so i decided to show her how i felt i went over to her closet and pulled out her running shoes i unlaced the shoelaces on both of them removed them from the shoes completely curl them each into a little coil put them inside the shoes and put them back i then went to sleep at 6 15 i was woken up by my wife screaming how could you why would you do this holding up both laceless shoes with tears in her eyes my wife likes to go for an early morning run and i knew she would want to get out the door as soon as possible i smiled and said you know how i am i just like things neat she continued sobbing and walked out the room so by the time she was all laced up again it was raining so she missed out on a run i actually feel pretty terrible about that because i really only wanted to delay her not ruin her plans completely at this point she's alternating between crying that i went out of my way to hurt her and ignoring my presence i acknowledge that what i've done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive i just don't know what to do she said through tears you admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling at me and then you turned around and took it out on me in a different way what is wrong with you the problem is to her an apology means taking on 100 of the fault when i apologize for blowing up she took that to mean she was 100 in the right and that my feelings were completely unjustified so at this point i haven't apologized for ruining her run because she'll take that to mean that she wasn't wrong to touch my boots i've tried to have these discussions but it's in one ear and out the other we have such a good relationship otherwise but i feel like this issue has reached a tipping point and it's going to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it how do i make things right with my wife while still letting her know that i won't tolerate her disrespecting my property anymore down in the comment tasha makes this contribution ask your wife if she got hit on her morning run how would she like it if her doctor was late because his wife tied his shoes and then opie responds i've actually made a similar argument she lacked it off and minimized the work i do that most of what i do isn't life saving and taking the time to get dressed properly won't cost any lives it's something that bothers me but it's clear that she doesn't get it to be honest opie i don't know what's going on with your wife based on how bizarre her reactions are this doesn't seem like a love or spat it kind of sounds like there's some sort of mental illness going on like narcissism or ocd or some deep-seated unresolved issue i'm not sure if a reddit threat can help you here i think your wife may need to speak with some kind of professional i'm a 25 year old male my girlfriend who's 24 has a choice between me or her family and i don't know how to tell her i met my girlfriend when i was in my senior year in college she was a junior back then we've been dating for three years now i'm asian and she's white to say i don't deserve her would be an understatement she's the most beautiful and the smartest girl i know and she comes from a pretty wealthy family i'm not particularly handsome or attractive not extremely smart just because we both went to an ivy league college doesn't mean anything it just means i have a slightly above average iq but i decided to work harder than most other high schoolers and my family is not very rich either we aren't poor my parents were able to help me pay for college and i only had to take a few thousand student loans but we're certainly not as wealthy as her family i really love her and i try to be the best boyfriend i can be unfortunately her entire family is racist except for her and her brother who's one of my best friends every time we go to one of our family gatherings there are racist comments tossed around it's against everyone who isn't white including asians but also african americans mexicans etc i'm the only one there who's not white i don't know if they're trying to insult me intentionally with comments like oh those yellow inwards are stealing our jobs but it not only annoys me on a personal level but also just like in general they're being such racist douchebags but i try to be as nice as possible because i don't want to let this ruin our relationship but her family members still all dislike me so yesterday her dad texted me i knew that my girlfriend's parents know my number but it's still strange because her dad doesn't like me at all and we've never really had a one-on-one conversation but anyway he sent me a few texts saying this relationship has gone on far enough and to sum things up he said that if i didn't break up with my girlfriend he would disown her and her entire family would cut her off and then he said that if i really loved her i would know that her family was more important to her and stuff like that i had no idea why he decided to say this now and not like three years ago when we first started dating i haven't talked to my girlfriend yet because i don't really know how to tell her about this i know she loves her family and i don't want to hurt her relationship with them but i also don't want to hurt her by breaking up with her without telling her why i really need some advice here my fellow redditors how do i tell her about the situation even if i do end up breaking up i want to do what makes her happy in the long run op this one's easy definitely show her the texts not only is she an adult who has the right to make her own decisions about her relationships but also i'm sure that she would want to know what her parents are saying about you i mean if my parents were saying incredibly hurtful things to my spouse behind my back then i would definitely want to know i don't want to take part in my 23 year old girlfriend's sex ritual on our wedding night but i still want to marry her so i'm a 23 year old guy and i'm getting married to my girlfriend early next year if all goes to plan i don't have a lot of family i'm no contact with my dad for several years now she however has a huge extended family for the most part we get on great they tend to be very loud and have huge personalities which is something hard for me to deal with since i've always been on the quiet side but overall very warm and caring people something weird i've noticed since we've got engaged is that my girlfriend's cousins sometimes make jokes about our wedding night it's weird for them to joke about it since i'm pretty sure her family is aware we've slept together before since we share a bit at holiday gatherings and vacations a few nights ago we were discussing wedding plans and thinking about places to go on our honeymoon my girlfriend and i were brainstorming ideas when she tells me that we won't need a bridal suite right away obviously i ask why we're getting married at a pretty nice hotel and she says that she'd like for us to stay at her parents house i don't really mind this we're trying to save money for a house deposit anyway but girlfriend seems like she has more to say so i push her for why she wants it she tells me there's a really old tradition in her family on the wedding night the husband and wife go into the master bedroom together and they're supposed to consummate the marriage [Laughter] the rest of the family are waiting outside the door so they can applaud them and cheer when they come out then a piece of the bed sheet is cut off and sewn into a big tapestry my girlfriend's mother owns i think my girlfriend saw that i wasn't happy because she quickly told me that we wouldn't have to actually consummate the marriage if i felt uncomfortable and we could just pretend i don't want anything to do with this i absolutely freaked and told her under no circumstances will i be doing this kind of thing in front of her whole family when i came back from taking a walk to clear my head she was now noticeably acting down and still is i think she's also been texting her family about this because i received a text from her mother telling me that i don't understand the importance of family and tradition yet and this kind of tradition has been around longer than i've been alive i don't know how i meant to go on from here i really love my girlfriend and she's the woman i want to spend my life with i'm freaked out of course but she's my whole world but how should i handle her family and navigate this tradition i love this comment from threoa tell them you'll do it in return for a dowry of a hundred head of cattle a white stallion and a tract of arable land also i've gotta point out something that some people might have missed did you notice that they do this in the master bedroom of their parents house meaning that's the bid that the girlfriend's parents sleep in and the husband is expected to passionately hug on their in-laws bid with them and everyone else standing right outside the door op i'm sorry for laughing about this but the situation is just ridiculous on a more serious note you need to sit down your girlfriend maybe her parent and explain very clearly i understand that it's your tradition but it's not my tradition and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and frankly it's very inappropriate for you to try to force me into doing something that i'm not comfortable with on a less serious note please update us about what they do with the blanket do they like hang it up somewhere or do her parents sleep with it or something i'm a 23 year old female and my 27 year old boyfriend has been treating me differently since he got his ancestry dna results back a few weeks ago my boyfriend got his results back from one of those ancestry tests he's never been interested in his family history before but one of his friends bought him a kit for his birthday a few days after seeing his results which were nothing special about 95 european and mostly just from england where we live he really excitedly told me that he'd been messaged by a group of people about a shared relative apparently all of them have an ancestor in common my boyfriend's great great great great great great great great great great grandfather that can be linked to royal lineage i was pleased and a bit amused that my boyfriend was so happy especially since he seemed to be telling every single person he knows and he posted on facebook about it however since then i've noticed some uncomfortable behaviors from him that is making me second guess our relationship one he quit his job two weeks ago he's an accountant which was very unexpected and something we hadn't discussed before now he gets defensive when i try to bring it up and ask if there was something in particular that triggered it he's only said that he doesn't believe the 9-5 life is right for him 2. he suddenly started insisting on using condoms whenever we passionately hug we've been together for three years and my birth control the copper coil has never been an issue for him before my boyfriend has started saying that it's not good enough as a form of contraceptive by itself which would be fine except he started making a few comments alongside this about how i'm trying to steal his genes and implying that i want his bloodline three he won't kiss me in public anymore or touch me at all around his family which he's explained by saying that he doesn't like public displays of affection anymore and it's embarrassing he's fine touching me when we're alone however four he's asked me to look into my family history by making a family tree to go alongside his it's not something i care about or want to pursue my family is also immigrant so i imagine it's harder to track than his but since i refused he's made jokes that i must be scared to find out that my family doesn't match up to his as a side note by traditional standards my family is a lot better off and more middle class than his although that's never affected our relationship we've generally had a really good relationship before now and there's never been any major communication issues or anything like that i'm really confused as to what's going through his mind right now and i could use some advice thank you and down in the comments i absolutely love this response from mildred i think the best way to respond to this stupidity is with stupidity order a title online they're all over the internet and cost about 20 pounds for a piece of land in scotland once you receive it tell him his distant lineage isn't good enough for your ladyship and everything needs to go back to normal in all seriousness if you're not trolling he might need help with the manic episode a sudden onset of erratic behavior probably isn't a normal sign and then pme or discord chat says yes get it from scotland and routinely try to invade his side of the bid blame it on your heritage that was our slash relationship advice and if you liked this video then hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 765,408

Rating: 4.947279 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: u9ULs3Z-Ojc

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 16 2020