r/Murderedbywords | oh my go-

gen z is too afraid to ask a waiter for extra ketchup but we'll body slam a cop uh we respect those who actually serve hello and welcome back to mk my name is detective jack you're joining me today after the latest of various crime sprees our criminal mastermind is struck again his dastardly dance of deceptive dialect has once again left my titties in a swollen tight twist once again the only clues left in the crime scene seem to be screenshots of various media it looks like it's gonna be another late night of reading over who has been murdered by words noah halley says his alien series is not a ripley story and will instead explore what happens when the inequality we're struggling with now isn't restored did i read result but think of saying restored at the same time yes i did uh yes inequality sucks but does it really need to be put in an alien series ah i know right imagine an alien movie about a bunch of blue collar workers being sent to die so that a giant baseless corporation can devise a new bio weapon imagine if the big twist of that movie is that there's a literally an android scab hiding among them that would surely be a terrible movie disney dropped the slave one moniker for bubba fett's ship in a lego set and it appears they don't want to use the old name going forward the good old classic corporate style of solving inequality and racism and all those other prejudices changing a word disney be like no slave words allowed then film mulan beside concentration camps no no see they're getting rid of slavery here not ethnic cleansing see that's different and therefore allowed somehow insulin has become so expensive that as many as one in four people with diabetes are now skipping life-saving doses insulin manufacturers murder diabetics with price gouging fix the headline for you which alone is so dumb and makes no sense you you'd want it to be affordable so that they keep affording it and buying it i know that sounds absolutely dark just treating them as nothing more than money machines but i mean that's how corporations view them so why aren't they thinking like this did y'all know texas won its revolution by attacking the mexican army while they were sleeping their traditional daily siesta of the culture in a strategically vulnerable position real honorable victory huh the things they don't teach us in school wow the enemy attacked during the army schedule nap time who could possibly have foreseen such a dastardly tactic excuse me enemies um no fighting during nap time thank you guess what no one is going to change the climate it's freaking nature get over it oh yeah ever get really sick don't go to the doctor just die it's the freaking nature get over it sir it's that kind of thinking as to why people think gingers have no souls i'm glad when i used to skate as a kid my parents didn't make me look like a dork by wearing some pointless helmet generation snowflake strikes again oh imagine how nice you would have been without all the head injuries well spikes and spokes and alison cydor please tell me how many olympic trials you have competed in if the answer is less than one shut the frick up it's completely irrelevant to this conversation but since you ask i have competed in four olympic games have one olympic medal three world titles and a 20-year career as an elite pro athlete i'll keep speaking up on this issue that affects the all the female athletes coming up after me oh thank you damn dude how did you bait yourself so badly looking uh you couldn't afford me you wear discount clothes nothing on sale is worth buying hmm like your only fans oh you've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth comeback and i'm paying for your basic tunes i noticed the paint on the car was a slightly different color than the original paint of the car it didn't look like it was a pearl white like another type of white color paint instead of the pearl white i'm sorry wait what it was so it was pearl white it wasn't pearl white i am so confused hi thanks for the feedback you chose a method of repair to fit your budget that did not include blend in order to save yourself from paying your full deductible and still had additional repair and paint done to your rear bumper that was not covered by your insurance claim but please feel free to return and pay the remainder of your deductible so that we can finish the refinish with blend as we explained it would be necessary especially on a three-stage pearl in order to achieve a perfect paint match in summary listen next time you stupido that woman wanted to kill her child or you could read the article or you could read the article i bet that period made you feel real bad-ish didn't it yeah you slammed it home really showed them you're having a hissy fit because i um yeah here's a few right here used punctuation look this one has a squiggly on the top you typed out that nonsense because i used a full stop at the end of a sentence oop come on can you handle that like some sort of normal person ooh squiggly's back that's a new level of freak wittery come even for reddit bringing back the classic how weird that you should be offended by a period coming when i'm oop kama's in the air now better catch it sure your parents still wish you'd oh come on catch it bean one and a full stop what a delicious buffet of punctuation just gobbling it up hey i'm not sure why this interaction resurfaced but while you're here please help us build more public skate parks by purchasing this signed 8x12 a pick of me from 1987. half of the proceeds go to the skatepark project and yes i personally signed them all i'm a little baby on the internet why just half the proceeds you need rent money no but the photographer does can't tell this is a dig at the baby with a clever comeback or a dick of the photographer for still needing to rent i'm the tough man not all of us have a bunch of fans on the internet that would be willing to fork out money towards us for us giving them some personal content so anyway i'm starting an only fans for you guys only five dollars a month the alan turing 50 pound note issued today on his birthday a gay man key to the development of computing so he's a gay man before he's a scientist lol clown world how utterly insulting to cheering so i did understand this point until the op made a more valid point yes as i'm not sure he was a scientist when mum popped him out of the uterus why do heterosexual athletes need to show pride for a lifestyle they don't live why do fans wear jerseys of a team they don't play for oh she imagine being roasted by the entire league of a sport wow you were not liked by your own hobby actual critical race theory racism is so normal the dominant society will interpret an attack on racism as an attack on society itself society itself pat robertson says critical race theory is a monstrous evil that is urging people of color to rise up and overtake their oppressors so that once they've gotten the whip handle they'll then instruct their white neighbors how to behave this is really bad for my throat but hey it's a painful thing to speak as and a painful thing to hear from someone as equally fitting as a gremlin like this man also can we just point out overtake their oppressors so you admit you admit you are repressing them oh come on man you make this too easy rich people have small tvs and big libraries poor people have small libraries and big tavas rich people literally have in-home theaters please stop lying i was playing 2k and missed a green free throw then i realized he was shooting shaking my head oh shake it shaq hi shaq here things like this is the reason i put my phone on silent so people like you can't get a ring even on my phone that's right shaq's an old granny now i'm kevin sorbo the american flag but with 49 stars because california well if anyone knows about not being a star look at this shirt with the colors on it looks like a bright flag no thanks oh how sweet of him he's learned to zip his mouth already well that's a good reflection there sir still gonna legally end your life through words anyway if a t-shirt with three colored stripes none of which are actually the colors on the pride flag is so triggering to you i can't imagine how tough your june has been triggers everywhere maybe you can start a movement to ask brands to start including trigger warnings in their marketing emails if the content features any colored stripes wishing you the best with your trying time you freaking snowflake i consider it one of the turning points in my life when it finally sunk in that my country is the bad guys would it be better if the entire world was like china or like the us neither you're both tyrants you both have a police that kills its citizens like dogs you both put people in prisons and then use them as slaves you both committed war crimes against thousands of innocent people because of money power and oil and you both have millions of poor people that are on the brink of starvation while also both of you have the largest number of billionaires in the world you both suck well but america is free seeing our pride of scotland jane yet don't worry if not it'll be wearing this design until it needs repainted in 2029 is that scottish i don't know i'm scottish descent and i can't even do a decent scottish accent i'll take it you'll also be painting one in straight colors or will we be discriminated against well straight people aren't punched in the face for holding hands with their life partner nor are they executed in other countries simply for being straight please educate yourself on the matter before commenting such nonsense this has been jack using a healthy debate on the legitimacy of pride representation as a way to educate and learn how to better speak scottish because remember it's not about being perfect but trying even if you have definitely insulted almost an entire country for it men stay away from vulgar women a feminine respectful woman values what she speaks or writes a woman who easily says or writes frick vege is a no vulgar woman are damaged women who come with a motion now backyard focus on your life um the vagine is vulgar i'm a giant ecologist what am i supposed to call it the pockets book i never understand the idea of damaged people with emotional baggage like okay yeah damaged people should work on themselves before getting into relationships and therefore risking becoming dependent but who doesn't have emotional baggage honestly if you don't to some degree i feel like you're not really experienced in life yet it's weird how people don't recognize trans women and their accomplishments whenever i learn about a woman doing anything intelligent creative transformative or original i instantly assume they are a trans woman um what purpose does that serve instead of assuming why not find accomplishments that trans women actually did and talk about those basically you found a long convoluted way to say i'm a misogynist thanks message received am i racist if i feel uncomfortable about a guy with a turban on my plane because this isn't okay with me hardcar like i know what you mean i get really uncomfortable whenever i see a white man walk into a movie theater or elementary school i mean statistically he's right to fear that so things are done and dusted the murderer is caught but questions remain lingering in my mind things like is the hokey pokey truly what it's all about does a cat truly have nine lives or do they just get bored after a few playthroughs and where does the lead go when i shove a pencil up my butt but then pull it out later on what i'm trying to say is you should subscribe and like this video if you enjoy our content we upload on the daily and i can promise you that i'm only gonna get weirder and more confusing from here so if this is too much for you i recommend checking out a video with robin or lexie but with all that said like this video my name was detective jack and i'll see you rookie on the down low or as they say in your generation dub dub i believe

Channel: EmKay

Views: 360,960

Rating: 4.9291725 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Murderedbywords

Id: ImM2WCLsbZc

Length: 12min 42sec (762 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 24 2021