r/Maliciouscompliance Whatever You Say, Boss!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where your wish is my command it's 1993 and it's my first day of work as a secretary for a high-powered attorney in my hometown he brags that when people give him a two-week notice he immediately takes their office key has them clean out their desk and hands them a final paycheck after 8 months of working for him I call in needing extra rest one morning I was at a job interview then going at 1 p.m. and tell him I quit he asked me to finish out the day's work which I do at the end of the day he comes to my desk and asked me to at least finish out the week stating I put them in a hard spot for not giving a two-week notice I remind him that on my first day of employment he told me he didn't accept two-week notices and that's why I didn't give him a two-week notice I received my final paycheck and walked out with a smile on my face our next reddit post is from lip wiggler last year my wife and I got married my parents and sister lived halfway across the world but that didn't stop them from coming over to celebrate since neither my wife or I get to spend much time with them we decided to rent a house for a couple of days in a nearby wine region you know hang out drink some wine eat some cheese and have some quality family time it had been 3 years since we last saw them a month or so before my parents and sisters came over I got an email from the owners of the vacation house saying that they had sold the property but the new owners were going to continue to rent out the house and they were going to honor the booking so not to worry all good two weeks later I got an email from the new owner saying the booking was still ok but they were going over the records and said I still owed them a hundred bucks for the booking I replied back with the receipt and booking confirmation that I was all paid up turns out the new owners unilaterally decided to increase the price of the accommodation and I had to pay up but they were gracious enough to say that I could cancel at no cost but they'd rather we'd keep the booking and pay the little extra no-cost for cancelling the booking you say within five minutes I found another vacation house in the same region there's literally dozens of them I sent a quick email back to please cancel my booking and process the refund we'd like you to keep the booking can we split the difference no thanks please cancel the booking if you keep the booking we'll throw in a bottle of wine no thanks please cancel the booking good thing the refund came back within days their reviews have been less than stellar on TripAdvisor I wonder why then we have a contribution from here is Kyle down in the comments I had a similar experience my wife and I booked an air B&B and a month after booking one week before the trip the owner said they'd increased rates and wanted us to pay more I said no so they asked me to cancel I once again said no Airbnb charges a penalty of 50 bucks to B&B owners for canceling on guests and if they do it enough times Airbnb will delist them I also think that if they cancel on a guest they can't rent to another person during the same timeframe they were trying to get me to cancel to avoid any negative repercussions they then offered me 40 bucks to cancel the booking I replied I would cancel the booking for a hundred bucks they said I was being unfair so I explained that they were in fact the ones being unfair and that I knew they were trying to circumvent Airbnb rules they canceled within minutes of my reply our next reddit post is from serious lampshade once upon a time I was a newlywed getting ready for my first Christmas with my in-laws now it's worth noting that these people are Christmas crazy you know that one house in the block that's decked out and more bling than a cashed up stripper that's them so as a new bride I wanted to make a good impression I should also note that my new husband had a history of taking credit for things he'd played no part in such as presents or meals or a wedding in the lead-up to Christmas I had shopped wrapped and ribbond as if my life depended on it everyone had carefully selected gifts that were wrapped immaculately with a complementing ribbon and bow and handmade tags not the stickers with to and from Christmas morning I was ready we entered the living room and after the momentary visual adjustment required for that amount of tinsel in a confined space everyone sat around the tree for the gift-giving ceremony the ceremony was a big part of the day for my in-laws one person was selected to wear a Santa hat and distribute the gifts one by one when it was your turn to open a gift everybody watched you what I didn't know then is this was a form of a now so sue could be discussed later a few gifts were given out then one of the ones I'd wrap was handed to my husband I was terribly excited it was something he'd wanted for ages I couldn't wait for him to be thrilled when he opened it but wait I did because he couldn't get the ribbon off we weren't supposed to talk during the ceremony so we all sat there quietly while a grown man wrestled with a ribbon it was a curling ribbon for those in the know not exactly a Rubik's Cube after a good 10 minutes of watching him lose his mind I quietly suggested he pulled the bow off so the ribbon would slip off the side he did so and was mildly enthused at the gift we moved on to the next person and after a bit my husband was handed another gift my mother-in-law said don't worry I won't tell you how to open it with a completely innocent smile on her face I chose not to say what I was thinking shortly after a gift was handed to me from my parents-in-law with an insincere apology that it didn't have a bow at this point I figured I must have somehow broken ceremony etiquette by using ribbon I made a mental note not to repeat my mistake in the future and laughed it off first Christmas right there's bound to be some hiccups following the ceremony it was lunchtime which went fine afterwards the men retired downstairs while the women cleaned up this wasn't unusual as they're a fairly traditional family except instead of helping my mother and sister-in-law with the dishes I was sent to collect the scraps of wrapping paper from earlier and take them out to the rubbish this was a little unusual when I'd been there for meals before I'd done dishes with them but again it's Christmas and they had their rules so I collected it all up and then went back to the kitchen to get another rubbish bag I was in the hallway and I overheard their conversation about how utterly terrible I wasn't domestic things how I'd clearly paid to have the gifts wrapped to show off how the things I picked were unsuitable and I was so ungrateful for what they've given me etc etc I was steamed unexpectedly my husband chimed in if I known she was going to be stupid with it I would have helped but I was so busy working and she swore she'd take care of it I went from steamed to apocalyptic he was in his third week of an eight-week holiday from work while I was working extra shifts trying to get a promotion I had begged him to help me choose things for his family when we got home later and I'd calm down a bit I tried talking to him about it his response was a groveling apology and an explanation that his family were a bit crazy about Christmas and that I should just leave family gifts to him so the following Christmas I bought a gift for each of them one gift from me only wrapped with simple paper and minimal tape Christmas morning comes around and my husband has given the honor of the Santa hat halfway through he starts looking around the tree frantically obviously having realized that there was nothing from him under there afterwards he pulls me aside and asked me what the flip I'm sure I looked way more innocent than I felt when I answered I left the family gifts to you I don't have a funny story about the third Christmas because our marriage didn't last that long but I've just finished wrapping a pile of gifts for this Christmas and as I curled a ribbon to make my kids presents extra fancy I felt very vindicated to know that tomorrow morning's chaos will have zero sense of ceremony about it Merry Christmas so that's a great story but I thought it was going in a different direction and lisslow Lee down in the comments agrees I seriously thought that you were gonna sit there and struggle to unwrap your gift for 45 minutes straight and then shush harass them if they offer advice but yeah the divorce seems like a better call our next reddit post is from Drake in 99 as a freelance designer getting content from clients was almost always the hardest bit one client asked me to design them a flyer for an event they were running fine no problem after a few weeks with the deadline getting closer I still hadn't had any info from them so I put together a design using dummy copy for the daytime and have been details and sent it over with the hope they just fill in the blanks and send it back they didn't the afternoon before the mailing was supposed to go out I got an angry call from them asking why it hadn't gone to print I explained it couldn't go too because they hadn't actually given me any information oh no we want to sign all that until the board meeting next week but the flyer has to go out tomorrow are you sure there's no information on it yes printed it's fine as it is okay if you're really sure yes the next day I got a very angry phone call from the clients boss asking why the Flyers sent to thousands of people was full of lorem ipsum well what a bunch of morons who schedules a meeting to figure out what's supposed to go on a flyer after they send out the flyer our next reddit post is from Boden desk Toad's this is a story from my mom that I heard quite often growing up some background her parents were very religious and particularly her mom very conservative her mom was a missionary at one point her dad was a minister so they weren't particularly thrilled with the boyfriend she met in college my dad who was a long-haired pot-smoking hippie was nine years older than her and had run afoul of the law on numerous occasions he was literally camping out in the Duke University forest while she was attending the University as a political science student plus he was white she's black and it was the late seventies / early 80s when interracial relationships were much less common and more frowned upon she finally quit her studies to follow him hitchhiking all over the country after he skipped bail and fled the state to avoid getting charged with his third drug-related misdemeanor which would have been upgraded to a felony since North Carolina was a three-strike state so my grandparents especially my grandma already disliked him when my mom brought him home to her parents after the whole dropping out of a prestigious university and becoming a hippie thing and they slept in the same room her parents were unhappy to say the least my granddad was doing his absolute best to be accepting but my grandmother's interpretation of Christian teachings leaned much more heavily on traditional social mores than on the tolerance my granddad tried to practice my grandma confronted mom and proclaim that she and my dad were not going to live in sin under her roof and they couldn't sleep in the same room in my grandparents house until they were married my mom seemed to accept this she and my dad went back to Texas where they'd been living for a bit they filed for common-law marriage pretty easy to do in Texas or at least it was then when they came back to visit again and my grandma repeated her ultimatum my mom smugly informed her that they were married definitely definitely not what my grandmother had mines to be honest I don't think the Christian thing had anything to do with your grandmother being kind of wary of your dad because he'll be honest your dad is kind of giving out some red flags there our next reddit post is from Bert hole this happened in a pub a while back after drinking most of the night it was time to start hitting home first I needed to shed some extra weight so I went to a toilet and sat down in the second booth as the first one had a sign about missing a toilet paper dispenser after sitting down for a while I hear someone entering the paperless booth while at least two others were vacant on my other side I knock on the dividing wall and politely tell the guy that there's no paper in that booth I get a snappy response of shut it and mind your own goddamn business nice real nice anyways I hear him starting to work with his relief and it indeed sounded quite messy I finished my poo Peru and when I was washing my hands I hear knocking from the first booth and mr. polite saying hey dude pass me that toilet roll yo come on man I really need some paper here yo after considering my options for a moment I replied shut it and mind your own goddamn business quoting his exact words and tone and I left him there he can sit there waiting to get hemorrhoids for what I care while contemplating how basic manners works in a society summon ninja down in the comments has the perfect malicious compliance reply he didn't specify used or unused toilet paper next time you know what you have to do our next reddit post is from area Lani free-spirit this happened to my dad a long time ago but he loves to tell us a story my dad was literally working the lat day of his enlistment in the Navy he worked in communications but his supervisor decided to get some manual labor out of him on his last day by making my dad put down new tile in one of the mess halls since it was a direct order he had to comply and do the job he carefully laid down perfectly spaced tiles in the entire room it took him the rest of the day but he made sure that it was as perfectly lined up as humanly possible supervisor looks in the room approves the job closes the door and tells him he can go home what he didn't realize is that my dad used a blue of any kind I don't know what happened the next day when someone actually discovered what he did but I'm sure it didn't go well for the supervisor he never heard anything about it but was planning to play dumb and say he didn't know what needed glue after all it was a job he was never trained for then we have another contribution from copy tent down in the comments when I was in the Navy we found out about a flooring that wouldn't need to be waxed and buffed it costs $50,000 to put in a test floor and one of the officer mess spaces it didn't last a day before a Master Chief asked one of the FSA's if it had been waxed lately and when he heard no said FS a was told to wax it the cs1 knew about the special flooring and tried to explain it but a first-class doesn't explain anything to a master chief who has been in the Navy longer than the lubber has been alive once she waxed the flooring it destroys a special coating that keeps it shiny without the wax $50,000 down the drain sigh that was our slash malicious compliance and if you want to maliciously comply be sure to hit that like button because it really helps my channel grow

Channel: rSlash

Views: 943,633

Rating: 4.9305272 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: owc1CiZdvII

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 07 2020