r/Maliciouscompliance "I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" "ok"

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where you have to be really careful what you wish for I had a boss who told me not to tell him how to put a computer together because he already knows how and I don't need your unsolicited advice okay strap yourselves in for the background I'm a woman in the tech industry do you already see where this is going not only was I a tech at this place I was the tech the one who trained 80% of the techs had the highest numbers in the district and the top ten in the territory but I always went by my last name so everyone who wasn't physically in my store thought I was a male due to circumstances we ended up getting a new manager from another sort out of state his first day was on my day off my coworker told me he wanted two hours with each of us to learn our thoughts on diagnosing issues and he was really eager to learn from us he was especially interested to learn from the top tech who he heard about in a previous store until he learned I was a woman he did two-hour sessions with all the other texts but me he always went to the male text with questions he tried to make me work the counter to just check computers in when I was one of the only three full-time repair Tech's and we had seven counter techs he tried to make me do his paperwork on several occasions he also started trying to repair computers by himself even though that was not his job he would leave computers half repaired with no notes then write up whatever techie thought should pick it up where I left off douchebag the whole team hated him and started making remarks of well Opie could fix this if he asked her or I think Opie fixed something similar in an hour and jeeping at this for two days and other phrases to piss him off that a woman knew more than him this was the perfect setup - one of my favorite moments of my career the manager got it in his head that he was going to do something to prove he knew his stuff so when a customer came in wanting a custom-built computer which we weren't supposed to do he grabbed the opportunity he helped the guy pick out the parts compare prices and sold in the labor to put it all together he also told me he was going to build it in my repair space and he was doing this alone and I will never forget this don't tell me how to do this let me learn oh I will key to the manager putting this machine together on the bench behind me while I continued my work just waiting the manager has it together hits the power switch the computer turns on then off then on then off he unplugs it then takes it apart then together again same results I can hear the wheels turning behind me but he told me not to give him advice so I keep working with my mouth shut let him ask me when he's good and ready he then believes parts must be bad so he has the customer send parts back wait for the new ones then try again same result this continues for two months he has the customer who was obviously very angry at this point send every single part back then have a whole new set of parts delivered he has promised the customer this is the last time this time it'll work he definitely knows what he's doing the day arrives when the customer brings in the parts the manager is there I'm there I stopped repairing computers as he puts the vinyl part in and I lean against my bench to watch what is about to happen how could I not he hits the power same result he is furious he throws the screwdriver across the bench denting the wall and curses so loudly I'm sure a customer heard he puts his hands on either side of the machine head down shoulders slumped utterly defeated in a quiet oh so quiet voice he s o P what's wrong with it I say the motherboard and processor aren't compatible without a BIOS update the manager said how long have you known this since you first turned it on two months ago he turns he's red in the face veins are bulging and I'm pretty sure he thought about decking me for a second before composing himself with a very very deep breath why didn't you say anything then me is smiling sweetly because you told me not to and to let you learn so have you learned he stormed off and out of the store he ended up taking two personal days and ended up building a new PC that actually worked the customer was cool once I explained everything and even showed them how I cable managed to allow the best cooling and looks for their clear case it's a story that ended up being the legendary story to tell all the new Tech's I left the company a few months later for a higher paying job and that manager ended up getting fired due to my GM believing him the reason for my leaving I never corrected that perspective after all how else will he learn then we have a similar contribution from copy guy down in the comments love it different field but I worked in a gun shop and one of the ladies behind the counter knew a hell of a lot more than the majority of the guys she was a weapons instructor for the United States Air Force at a local base certified through the Air Force and had multiple instructor certifications through the NRA plus took classes on her own for fun this was her side gig for ammo slash class slash fund money it was hilarious watching guys get their panties in a twist because the lady knew more than they did and when they insisted a guy helped them every single one of us made absolutely sure to ask her what she thought about the question our next reddit post is from hip hop Rhino I'm a big wargames player and a local store used to buy tickets and rent a bus to bring people to a Games Workshop convention in Baltimore games day the cost they charged covers the bus and a one-day ticket the only caveat is that kids under 18 16 with a note and an older buddy had to have at least one adult with them who was also paying full entry on the idea that the parent could stay with their child this was made explicit in following years now the convention was located in the prime shopping area of the Baltimore waterfront so every year there are a few parents who come to go shopping usually though they have a few other parents who agree to watch the younger ones the year this took place my friend Hal and I ended up going keep in mind that we're both in our mid-twenties so as we go through our morning at the convention we noticed that a familiar group of boys were following us when asked we were told we should stay with YouTube because you're responsible none of their parents were in sight or on the site as it turns out most of the kids were cool or at least as cool as a ten-year-old can be to someone in their mid 20s their ages were from 8 to 16 we ended up grouping them with an older kid as an assistant buddy and took them with us it's not like their parents were around to give them back after all and we knew most of them from the shop we made sure they got turns of different events nothing at the convention could be called inappropriate and generally made the best of it but hey we were still a bit angry at having them foisted on us without being asked well it turns out none of them were given enough money for lunch they had their own money which they spent on swag but the cash their parents gave them wasn't enough to cover an actual lunch at the convention at all it averaged about 3 bucks per kid when that was the price of a soda so Hal and I took all their lunch cash and took them to Hooters we used that money and some of her own to make sure the waitresses were extra attentive and had them at their own table we sat nearby to keep an eye on them we had them order whatever they wanted that a kid could legally get no booze of course and between the restaurant being mostly dead and the fact that Hal and I were tipping well meant that there were buxom scantily clad women around constantly almost a two-to-one ratio kids to waitresses they must have eaten 5 platters of wings before they were through not including the ones they ordered but didn't like usually because it was too spicy those got bagged up into a cooler bag told them it wasn't an issue just order something they like at the end we picked up the tab but not before calling the trip organizer Jim to let him know what happened we were told it wouldn't be an issue get him a receipt so we get the group scrubbed up helped by the assistant buddies and back to the convention and finish the afternoon so we get back to the bus and give Jim the receipt for lunch as well as any other necessary items mostly beverages got to keep hydrated that we bought them afterwards just for them not our bills we paid her lunch separately for example the bus was set to leave at 6:00 p.m. and we were told to be back by 5:00 p.m. just in case because the trip would leave full or not so around 5:30 the parents start coming back in only to meet Jim at the front he refused to let them on until they paid us back for watching their kids told them that if they didn't pay by 6:00 the bus would be leaving and that they would still owe the tab one parent asked for a delay to hit an ATM and was granted permission to go Jim told the rest that the bus would leave when the dad got back a few other parents asked to see the bill which is where they discovered that we took their precious angel to Hooters nevermind the fact that we were at a convention about a game where people kill aliens with chained swords Jim informed them that if they had spoken to Hal a night before the convention started then maybe they would have learned about our lunch plans and could have watched their kids themselves didn't shut up the few Karen's in the group but it reduced most of it to grumbling about this point the first dad comes back and asked his share was told and left most the parents in shock they apparently didn't have that much cash gel on them and Jim wasn't going to give them any more time pay up and bored or stay behind and pay later the first dad offered to lend money to the rest not a guy you want to owe money to from what I gather with some accepting the rest finding the cash in purses and wallets Jim ended up handing us $500 almost 200 bucks for the chicken the rest he charged him as a kid tainment fee I feel like Jim was playing the long game since Opie and his friend have a Warhammer 40k addiction that 500 bucks was going straight into his pocket eventually our next reddit post is from Herbert art Harlech jr. a relative of mine dates an ER doctor it was a typical slammed evening and a lady arrived with a non urgent non personal area problem all treatment rooms were full the doc suggested that she have a seat in the hallway and they could probably get her taken care of fairly soon she started complaining about being in the hallway and used the term HIPAA that was all it took the doc said no problem have a seat in the full waiting room and we'll get your room when we can the patient said you know doctor I'm actually comfortable being seen in the hall he replied but now I'm not comfortable with it she was there for six hours before a room was available what I threatened to sue him and suddenly he wasn't nice to me anymore what what happened our next reddit post is from Derek on I work in security and have been for years a common practice is to complete a report of what happened during your time I specifically work in patrols basically you go from location to location checking on each site after each site you write what you did at that location I have 40 sites to watch over every night for this reason things tend to get very copy-pasted most locations require the same thing check exterior check stair door damage you get the points I got a new manager who's disconnected with out patrols work he wants us to make unique entries into every single log what I mean unique I mean none can be close to similar so if I stayed I patrolled the exterior of the building I can't use that phrase for any of the other logs you can see how that could cause me a lot of problems and is a massive time waster after about a week of being borderline harassed and threatened to make each log 100% unique or else I decided to go into malicious mode we have so much to look after that we have thick binders giving detailed information for each site and what's required of you they're called site orders every time I would complete a site I just copy pasted all the information into the log each log has a small window that you could put 50 words into before it becomes overwhelming to read each log I posted had no less than 500 words directly from the site orders after my first day doing this I expected to walk in and get yelled at however nothing happened I got no emails no talking to zero reaction however I still hear that other security officers are still getting chewed out I decided to see how long I can get away with this two months later and still no one says anything not a word we have quarterly meetings to talk about accidents and how the patrol group is doing what's going wrong and what's going well cue the manager the first thing he brings up is the logs and how almost everyone is failing how we should all know better you're not kids I shouldn't be holding your hands the only adult in here besides me is Opie I look up at him and his smile was almost disturbing he then shows a log I wrote up he begins to talk about how everyone should be like me how no one deserved to work here but me the looks I was getting from everyone was brutal he talked for about 20 minutes constantly using my name he would have kept going but I interrupted him I asked why he called me out and how inappropriate was for him to do so he looked at me and said only children interrupt someone when they're talking I told him that he has a strange obsession with children and he needed to get help the room was dead silent for a solid 30 seconds as we direct eye contact I then turn to the group telling them that I've been copy pasting my report for the last two months I told him that I just copied pasted the site orders over and over again the managers face started getting real red he after all wanted us to make unique logs he started to scram a little bit as he pulled up other logs of mine only to show that everything I said was true after that the whole group jumped on him Minnie had been screamed at for the exact thing I'd been doing it was brutal I don't think I've ever seen so many people yell at one person at the same time the manager slid into his chair just looking at the computer it was 15 minutes of just utter verbal shouting he quit a few weeks later our next reddit post is from Azure morte you know that guy at work that everyone hates the rude obnoxious lazy one that no one quite understands how he still has a job well mines name was Bob for months Bob partnered himself up with me with a lovely 90 percent me ten percent him split of the work anytime I called him out on it he got more and more obnoxious and if it was actually possible did less and less work on top of all his other charming traits bob is an absolute phone addict this is bad enough in a regular setting where we work it's actually very very dangerous not to be paying attention to what's going on around you I've mentioned this to Bob repeatedly to no avail even after he was nearly hit by a forklift and almost had his head smacked by a robot's our manager at the time said if you're stupid enough to die because you wouldn't put your phone down no one's going to miss you and ignored the behavior my last straw and even attempting to get this guy to work and be safe was him snapping off leave me alone about my epping phone well we just got a new manager partially because of our former managers attitude towards safety issues partly because of poor performance the new manager had a quick to the point meaning at the beginning of our shift that stated very clearly I see your phone you're fired no excuses no exceptions Bob missed the meeting because he was running late again about two hours later I see the new manager walking to area Bob as usual had his head down staring at his phone remember when he specifically said to leave him alone about his Epping phone well that's exactly what I did our new boss wound up standing behind him for a solid three minutes before Bob even noticed he was there bob was promptly escorted to HR and I was apologized to by the new manager because I'd have to run the work area solo until her replacement was found no big loss the extra 10% is well worth knowing that guy won't be around anymore guess no one at that job will bother him about his phone again if you're watching this video on your phone at work then I think this video deserves alike it's what Bob would have wanted our next reddit post is from oxymoron if your family and/or friends have pressured you into a gender reveal that you really don't have the time or energy to pull together try this my wife and I cut pieces of blue and pink paper into a mason jar and then removed one blue piece so there was exactly one more piece of pink than blue all the family had to do was simply determine which color had more pieces we presented it to my family and sat back as we watched them sort them all great fun word of caution the number of pieces add up fast I use 38.5 by 11 pieces of pink and blue paper each cut into roughly half inch squares added up to two thousand two hundred and forty four pieces took for people about thirty minutes to go through it all the dramatic buildup was real enjoy that was our slash malicious compliance and if you would have maliciously complied then hit the like and subscribe buttons

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Views: 1,210,617

Rating: 4.9447269 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: -LP-js7PTcs

Length: 17min 9sec (1029 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 22 2019