Reading My Girlfriend Applications (I'm Serious)

hi I promise this title isn't as weird as it seems just hear me out how many videos if I had to say that someone tweeted at me a while back saying you need a girlfriend to keep you awake and I replied saying I am accepting applications and everyone thought that's funny I wasn't joking and just over a week later I tweeted out saying I was not fooling around I am now accepting girlfriend applications and here is a link to the forum so you know as one does let's have a look how many responses we have how many 3300 it's only been a day so yeah here is my girlfriend application let's just have a quick look through I've designed this with a few little quirks but overall I think it's pretty good girlfriend application it has come to my attention that a number of people wish to be my partner I think the only way I could possibly decide is with the stupidest way possible through an application it says girlfriend application but any gender or sexual orientation is welcome of course I got a few tweets of people say shut up I know okay and that's why being the 200 IQ kind of person I am I designed a way to make sure we don't get underage people it definitely works so you know let's pretend that we were to do this right you know my name is it's Connor and let's say I'm I'm under 18 I click under 18 and it simply just ends the application you're probably too young to read this I do not date children sorry did you have fun and then it just ends the application and then I thought you know well some people are gonna lie obviously about their age because you know they're gonna say they're over 18 because you know I would if I was like 13 so let's say I'm a fourteen-year-old girl I'm smart enough to know what Connors trying to do here and so I put over 18 okay no NORs now face to serious question do you use tick tock if you do use the tick tock it'll just end the end it'll end you have failed owning a tick tock account is unacceptable yeah you can just press back that's kind of the major flaw here but let's just ignore that okay let's say you're honest so now you know I'm like alright okay okay now this is the final question before you actually get to fill in the application if calories walked into the room would I still be the most attractive person to you in that room now no doubt you know you're probably in a line you'll put yeah of course you're still gonna be the most attractive person and then it just goes to I do not date liars okay I don't Keanu Reeves is the most attractive man on earth and that's just a fact and if you can't admit that to me what else you gonna lie to me about you gonna say my video is a good - next like so you put now and then finally you get to go to the application questions or such as why do you want to be my partner what qualities do you possess that I would add or do you have any Talent singing art cosplay extreme maths please provide any links if possible originally when I had made this form I didn't expect to get as many people to fill it out but we got over 3,300 responses haha and so I think the only reasonable way we can make solid entertainment out of this is parvum which is this video is gonna be me going through the applications and part two it should come directly after this will be me going through and doing the interviews with the people that we chose and then hopefully we can narrow it down maybe there'll be another part I don't know fun fact Google has been nice enough to provide us the amount of people who have failed so 20% of people who filled out this form are under 18 and just shy of 700 of these applications then for our computers to us then this next step is do you use tik-tok 97% said no so then we kicked out another hundred and then if Keanu Reeves walked into the room would I still be the most attractive man eighty-four percent of people passed this part so we got rid of another further four hundred and sixteen so we got rid of about a thousand people overall so there's only about two and a half thousand we have to go through but then yeah this is where it starts to kind of go to [ __ ] I say that because this makes me laugh in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not no how the hell do I go through all of these I'm just gonna have to just go through random numbers here your name is January okay why do you want to be my partner I've been watching your youtube vids for like ever and I love your personality you're definitely not over 18 this is Alexa why do you want to be my partner I think you're pretty neat you like anime which is pretty cool and it seems like your taste in anime is very nice plus I feel like we could just be the ultimate otaku couple tell me everything throw up a little bit in my mouth there you know I don't know about that actually you know what would be funny how many times the word sex mentioned 102 dick 37 times okay no one puts suck dick okay well how many times you how he said you guys need to calm your thirst tell look what people say when they're saying sex so I can have some of Kermit he's sexy okay that's fine Michelle why do you want to be my partner we have a lot in common than we have similar sense of humor what qualities do you possess that I would adore I give you views duh just kidding I mean I'm smart and have a stable job and ambition how do I talk about what you would add or while still sounding humble you don't flex on me that's the whole point what are your biggest flaws I can be too sexual for my own good ha ha ha ha in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice man listen wow thank you for that one sentence you know for an author you think you'd know what one sentence means I'm not sold on that I'm not gonna lie I'm not sold on them girlfriend application your name dear why do you want to be my partner in need of someone to carry my weapons eg lots of knives occasionally a road roller extra from plus fresh blood what qualities do you possess that I adore it's me beer do you have any talents Gerardo what would be our first and perfect date killing Jotaro what are your biggest flaws I have no flaws I have dear Briggs all day anime why do you want to be my partner you have a sexy voice and a lot of subs I'll take it what qualities do you possess that I would adore like to drink and watch the anime that's about it oh and I'm a dude I know you're into that yaoi haha what are your biggest flaws I had to lie on the tik-tok question just to get here in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice if you stopped liking me at least I can open that's pretty good I want someone on the same level of weird is me we can collectively share two brain cells and looking at your videos you'd fit the bill Wow need a video idea I got you family mind is filled with crappy content I am a whiz at mental math and a level 4 doula I ended a duel with nothing more than two magic cards and a blue-eyes White Dragon I don't appreciate Liars because you definitely didn't win a jewel with two magic cards what do you think idiot can do a pretty good danny davito impression oh my god it's that person again with the farts again why do you want to be my partner you wrapped the four kids one piece wrap in one of your videos and that was enough for me to start watching it I loved one piece now I owe you my life what would be our first and perfect date I will fly all the way to London to pick you up then we will promptly go to Italy to take down my father for his crimes against humanity don't worry he is still weak from great last battle with him once he's defeated I will consume his heart to absorb his powers and at the end of the night we end the date by reenacting scenes from the Lizzie McGuire movie and he spaghetti in the streets of Rome what's the word for guest Italian si what are your biggest flaws I have yet to consume my father's heart and absorb all his power fair enough in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice I make a mean boba milk tea why do you want to be my partner I have bad tape all right Rachel blow me away hey why do you want to be my partner you are a funny and inspirational person watching your videos really makes me laugh okay good storm you complimented me my ego enjoys that what qualities do you possess that I would adore I am a caring loyal and a weed the three best qualities person camp I mean a weaver do you have any talents I do art and cosplay you can find my cosplay on Instagram alright brah is that a a Diego all mine oh my goodness okay we would go to one of my favorite food destinations Taco Bell we'd walk in the comfort of the chili building holding our breath hoping natura fries are back again for a limited time have never had them as we look at the menu finally match your fries are back baby I have to stop to wipe a tear from my eye we get an absurd amount of liquid gold nacho cheese to accompany our seasoned fries I'm unfamiliar with all of this as well as a two-bar badger badger badger blasts we aren't he things what the hell this after finishing our meal and possibly lady and the tramping and unusually long natura fry our date has come to an end and you look at me regret filling your eyes why did I cheat on curve it for this why do you want to be my partner I want to clap them cheeks what qualities do you possess that I would adore I will clap them cheeks do you have any talents professional cheek clapper what are your biggest flaws there are no cheeks I cannot clap in one sentence explain why you're the obvious choice I have nothing else to say but for real you Coolio don't tell my boyfriend refill them you want to clap my cheeks alright let's go get you one call huh haha this is Cana no yes I'm just calling to ask about your application you seem to have a fascination on clapping them cheeks am i correct yes I was just wondering if you could explain that a little further she's popping heat for all I was my question not straightforward could you perhaps explain the process of clapping daichi's I'm you take the sheet whose cheeks watch eeks which part of the cheeks please come specify the wall cheek are all cheek which trees now oh I'd like to think it's those are sweets you know I'm saying and by them cheeks I very obviously mean Norton yeah my cheeks yeah did I give you permission to do that no well then I accept I I will I will expect an apology from you for trying to clap my cheeks you're know about that how dare you come into my home as to clap my cheeks and don't even apologize sometimes Oh sleeps with me clap for you hmm why do you want to be my partner because I'm a lonely piece of [ __ ] what qualities do you possess that I would adore in nothing do you have any talents I can watch porn for nine hours straight in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice my dad left me what a compelling compelling case hmm so class application says what qualities do you possess that I would adore I spent at least 30 minutes thinking of something to put here I'm kind of sad now in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice I collect dead birds I'm gonna email you I want to see these dead birds at a Center saying pics or it didn't happen send me pick these dead birds or you're a liar so Claire if you send me a pic we'll put you through why do you want to be my partner in all honesty that booty though thank you thank you very much I appreciate the compliment what qualities do you possess that I would adore I have a booty as well oh and a very good personality would you be willing to do a follow-up interview if so include your number yes I'm part of why do you want to be my partner why not you seem kind of cool and got a sexy voice I seem kind I seem kind of cool what qualities do you possess that I would adore submissive got big boobs like why do you want to be my partner I think we were meant to be no pressure I think the stars align so we could but nobody no pressure but but you know the universe does want it what qualities do you possess that I would adore swag will laugh at all your jokes and will leave room for Kermit do you have any talents singing and they've linked me to ah so good what are your biggest flaws I love to hard care too much and give so much I never have enough for myself JK I sleep a little too much alright okay good good good in one sentence explain why you're the obvious choice I was visited in a dream by you and in this dream you told me how much you cared for me and I felt it in my soul so that if it came to me willingly we could live a happy comfortable life together and the yee-haa merge you know what well played why do you want to be my partner you honestly seem like a genuinely good person your personality is very transparent it would be fun to hang out and it would seem like you're both a lover and best friend oh sweet what qualities do you possess that I would adore I really like your laugh it sounds like you're genuinely happy and it makes me smile too Oh what are your biggest flaws I'm chubby and sometimes I can't really express myself as much as I would want to and I guess I can be annoying when I'm bored oh I don't think being Chubby's are full in one sentence explain why you are the obvious choice well I guess I would be the obvious choice it would be your choice I guess but I'll treat you well you know what that's very sweet of you you've got mail got a response from the email Oh what the [ __ ] you actually do collect dead bird why the [ __ ] do you collect dead birds let's ask you right now hello what the [ __ ] is those the dead birds in a jar what's you just keep them as trophies right this cute you have to capitated wait hold up hold on cute let me get that one picture again you have a capitated bird in one of your photos okay so when you like parents die you're just gonna decapitate them and put them in a jar on show well I hope to you hope what the [ __ ] I disapprove of your hobby let me just say that what no that's not a compliment I'm not into this and I have to reject your girlfriend application why are you sorry oh because like I'm such an amazing person Kimberly Kat why do you want to be my partner act and do voiceover watch anime and I have all a muppet show on DVD from the 70s plus bond overacting and all that other [ __ ] I also think you're a pretty cool guy and I'm not a super fan girl I just enjoy the content you put out fine smooth smooth smooth by this is an absolute essay Jesus alright now what qualities do you possess that I would add or I have extreme shortness I do like short girls idea I do I'm player and cute not to toot my own horn plus our obsessed with becometh the Frog I dressed as a [ __ ] Kermit the Frog this past Halloween if you look at my Instagram did you actually do this what about this is [ __ ] I accidentally liked it alright welfare she knows now okay do you have any talents I sing act do not dance I like I shouldn't specify now I wouldn't have liked just assumed like I sing act or do not dance what are your biggest flaws roast time baby I'm the worst over-thinker I'm loud I talk way too much I can't do loud people in one sentence explain why you are of the obvious choice well what is that well this is not this is not a sentence come on well with my flaws because I'm human I'm very kind-hearted patient very passionate about my work and usually very loyal to people and what my work to people and my work empathetic is what my friend says about me and also that I'm very adventurous we both like the same thing very much it would be cool to work on the same platform I'm sold on the [ __ ] comet but his we're gonna do first of all right I'm gonna take your application we're gonna say fantastic right let's get to work shall we [Music] act and do voice Irma act common voice them up a chair voice acting what where is the fourth if it's a School Musical before the school music there we go so I just took her thing apart and just gave her a bit of a report card on the whole situation so we'll save that and we'll send that to her just a letter now you know what is your name whatever you want daddy a baby banshee why do you want to be my partner wiebe husband with a following yes please what qualities do you possess that I would adore boobs singing bra classical a beer at a bar talking and having fun then anal huh there are so many applications all right here's what we gonna do I'm gonna end this video here and the next part is gonna be I don't know like five to ten people we'll be interviewing them and narrowing it down so that we have at least one or two that we're gonna say is our future date I don't know who sister tom is the video dear ever if you guys want to see what happens you better hit that subscribe button amp at notifications bound because the next video I'm gonna upload it's gonna be the next part of this so do that and if you want to support me please do share the videos around like comment all that [ __ ] and check out my picture that's how I can afford to waste all my time doing this stuff but without further ado I will see you beautiful weebs on the next episode of me being an absolute idiot so bye [Music] [Music] King my life dude

Channel: CDawgVA

Views: 1,536,172

Rating: 4.9760242 out of 5

Keywords: Reading My Girlfriend Applications (I'm Serious), CDawgVA, CDawg, Girlfriend Application, Girlfriend, Application, Gf, Gf application, Funny, Memes, Meme, Cdawg

Id: leDLtQHFzKE

Length: 19min 15sec (1155 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 04 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/MissMetalSix]

If anyone I knew did this, I’d point to their collection and say “Look how many birds didn’t need to die but you don’t keep your fucking cat inside.”

[u/CruC1Ble79]

Wtf

[u/MamaM80]

Eww.

[u/dumpyfrog]

“It’s natural and part of the ecosystem!”

No it’s not, you retard. Maybe if you have done research you would realize that cats are an invasive species. The amount of uneducated cat owners astounds me. These cat nutters talk about how dogs damage the ecosystem and then they put their cats on a high pedestal.

(I hate harmful pets, especially dogs and cats. These fuckers are destroying our ecosystems and most of us don’t even acknowledge it except some people who HAVE done their research.)