r/CursedComments | Part 3

you're probably really good at bowling our slash cursed comments Nickelodeon dips its toes into hotel business I stayed there once there was a rotting squirrel carcass in the pool some kids were crying when I told them it was the real sandy I spent 24 hours straight in prison challenged mr. beast my dad's been doing this challenge for 17 years toddler tamers leashless ankle weight system leashless no more dreaded glares from using toddler leashes oh yeah I've got toddler leashes this is such a bad product you might have temporary control over your tot but you're just going to make it stronger what's worse than an uncontrollable baby an uncontrollable baby who has never missed leg day and could kill you with one kick frickin Hockley from naruto jr. over here with his ankle weights I'm 22 still sleep with a teddy bear my dad bought me the day I was born rest in peace dad dad jokes bud high 22 [Laughter] bad timing dad bot Appleby's twitter notes of vodka hints of fresh lemon a raspberry finish our findings from a tasting of this season's $1 vodka raspberry lemonade harvest my mother was murdered in one of your restaurants and the killer was never found is is this real it's real we're fishing the one dollar vodka raspberry lemonade the entire month of June way to be tapped Applebee's Pokemon is trying to slowly convince us Pikachu was always fluffy and I for one accept this future did you wanna think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little Simpsons demon wouldn't that be fun if like Pikachu plushies were just sold with like rubbery yellow skin I'm unvaccinated my superpowers including spreading diseases I don't have do they make these in adult sizes oh wait there's no need I wonder how quickly parents would vaccinate their kids if polio was on their doorstep because measles is apparently oh it's only like the chickenpox it doesn't do anything else the mommy maker lifelike baby costume for dogs oh Jesus this is terrible fools at the 30% of pediatricians pregnancy belly to give birth to beep oh my god to dog babies sold separately 75% real baby hair [Music] bark - baby whale voice modulator built-in comes in five sizes no she want to Mastiff my god mother I must feed mother why do you cry 75% real baby hair comes in five sizes from chihuahua to mastiff imagine a mastiff sized version of this running at you full speed in the dark letting out a series of modulated baby wails I know if I were dating you well let's just say horses wouldn't be called a horses anymore wink wink hey what the does this mean I'm shaking what does this mean I mean I'm even confused why what are they insinuate [Laughter] new year old concept designed to prevent all that mess this is a terrible idea oh my god imagine a spider getting in there a wasp making a nest in there you know it was already bad enough like you know with the original thing of just how that's supposed to operate but now I have to worry uh God whose idea was this me says goodnight to stuffed animal stuffed animal says goodnight back me you weren't supposed to do that and that kids is how I lost my job as an FBI agent she said yes is that voldemort's wand I can't is that like I can't tell if that's if that's just like a really weird angle or if she's just like horribly disappointing index finger the hell's going on here and how come her middle fingers like a freaking big toe this this is Photoshop my being screwed with almost looks like some of the joints are missing and relocated using Photoshop so maybe oh god a group of divers found in this single chair at the bottom of the ocean upon closer inspection the chair was the type used in schools so it's unlikely that it fell off a boat nobody truly knows how it got there bad and naughty children must sit at the bottom of the ocean I was going to donate blood today but they always ask way too many personal questions like whose blood is this and where did you get it someone donates one kidney and has hailed a hero donate five and get arrested why would they care where the kidneys came from a meals a meal okay so uh hear me out if an unborn fetus is by definition a part of a woman's body do the four extra limbs turn her into an arachnid a lot is riding on this my pregnant wife told me that I was responsible for killing all spiders being kissed while you're asleep is one of the most purest forms of love Jesse Smollett you know unless you're in prison oh hell whoa do you have a girlfriend oh whoa nope Jesus crisis gets bad he curls up in a ball of pizza dough and malval making perfect eye contact that's a big thing hikes from me Oh glaucoma I [Music] showed this to my own who is currently in a coma safe to say she was speechless when a girl changes her clothes in front of you she's either really interested or your level 99 friend zone or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet two sentence [ __ ] or as I woke up in the middle of the night I heard Alexis speak okay the security alarms have been disabled I changed my mind Alexa turn the security back on repeat saying until the intruder just goes away Alexa turn security systems back on I say as I sit up in bed this is the day I've been waiting for I think to myself quietly I get ready and sneak into the kitchen Alexa lights on I say I'm not locked in here with you you're locked in here with me I tell the robber as he stares at me in horror I stand there and all my raw glory only his cheaply made Shrek paper mache mask covers my face the rest of me stands buck naked I grab the cheese grater and walk towards my new friend telling him he's like an onion that he has layers what's the first thing you would do if you were invisible for a day I would probably fly to Paris find his street performing mine and beat him to death the applause he would get would be astounding if you put a bee in the freezer it will get cold and fall asleep after it's asleep put it in your mouth but don't eat it just let it sit there it'll get warm and wake up now you have a bee in your mouth why though what I do that remember the whole Momo thing that was going around that would convince children to commit suicide because they're you know monsters well I'm someone decided to have a little bit of fun with the the Momo stuff my name is Momo if you do not do what I say I'm going to kill you in your family Momo I am a 25 year old man who hasn't found love or filed his taxes this year don't threaten me with a much-needed good time I want you to go get a knife and stab your parents if not I'm killing you tonight first of all they find a beat my ass if I pull some [ __ ] like that also what time you gonna be here tonight can't wait to have you know Momo ting my name baby girl less than greater than three I'm killing you while you sleep tonight for not listening to me if you get within five feet of this damn Bay you're getting molested you want them creepy saggy ass knees good face while you try to walk take it somewhere else you can't handle this you raggedy big eye obviously great value Shampoo using weird mouth no nose timbre infused with Michael Jackson as [ __ ] obligatory disclaimer so that way I fall within the YouTube advertising guidelines don't interact with the Momo whatsapp thing it's a bad idea all around if you're you know young it's just a hoax it's just some [ __ ] don't worry about it they're not gonna hurt you they know nothing about you my mother was murdered thank you for watching the third extravaganza and the cursed comments do that YouTube stuff in the thing with the subs and whatnot and don't forget I got a Twitter and a discord go do that stuff too and yeah check out my other videos if you want to and I'll see you all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 1,634,842

Rating: 4.9454904 out of 5

Keywords: r/cursedcomments, reddit stories, comedy, funny reddit stories, reddit, cringe, best of reddit, cursed comments, cursed, funny, r/, satire, r/cursedcomments oz media, cursed comments 3

Id: uwg4kPVWYL8

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 14 2019