r/AmiTheA**Hole For Refusing To Name A Child That Isn't Mine?

g'day there guys keeps wondering why i bury striking resemblance to my mailman and not my father here back at it again with another episode of r slash am i the a-hole now if you love today's episode like i love you i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie a like on the video and enjoy today's content posted by user that's a horrible name titled am i the a-hole for telling my wife i don't care if it's her turn we're not naming our son tuesday my wife 28 female and i 28 male have been together since we were 14. we got married at 21 and had our daughter at 25. last year we were going through some marriage difficulties and decided a break would be in both of our best interests we both just need a little time apart after being together for so long so we split and in this time my wife felt pretty awful about herself i initiated the break and she ended up hooking up with one of her longtime male friends and she got pregnant at six months pregnant we reconnected again and got back together her friend had absolutely no interest in the baby he had begged her to abort and told us he would not play a role in the baby's life whatsoever we agreed and planned to raise him together anyway that's the backstory it's been two months since then and we've been really late on the names i know the deal was i named our daughter charlotte my wife didn't actually like the name but she agreed so long as she got to name the next kid and she can name our next child she came up to me yesterday and told me she was reading a book and found the perfect name i asked her what and she said tuesday when she first said it i admittedly laughed out loud and asked her if she was serious she said yes she was and don't call me shirley and it's her decision i followed her around the house and told her absolutely no way we were naming our son tuesday he'd get made so much fun of my wife said no he wouldn't lots of kids have unique names and aren't bullied i told her that yes unique names not days of the week she wasn't hearing it and pointed out that she hated the name charlotte and agreed on the basis that she would get to name the next kid i argued that's a totally different thing charlotte is a normal name our daughter won't get laughed at because of it my wife got frustrated and after arguing on and off for the rest of the day she finally told me he wasn't even my kid oh oh god i just walked off and although she came right back and apologized and that she didn't mean it i was fudging ticked i'm not talking to her right now but i'm holding steadfast we won't name him tuesday i don't think i'm the a-hole at all but some ammunition would be helpful when i explained to my wife exactly why it's such a ridiculous name so tell me am i the a-hole i can't be the only one who cringed when she said that oh my god i don't know what to say about this situation it really doesn't sound like they should be together just going by the passive aggressiveness of both of them and i'm glad if they can make it work together obviously i'm no marriage guru but getting a vibe from this one he seems pretty angry and you shouldn't be this angry about naming your own child especially with these rules they put in place that's childish in and of itself obviously i have no experience with marriage that's just the vibe i get and everyone sucks here everyone sucks here the whole thing is a mess you guys should have agreed on names you both liked with the first kid the whole situation baffles me this whole one parent choosing the name thing is absolutely absurd to me why do people do this it just clicked for me why some families have two kids and name one steve and the other one naruto is that why my best friend's name's sasuke weird one that my husband's parents did that my husband has a wildly italian first name think luigi and a classic american middle name whereas his brother has a classic american first name think nick and a wildly italian middle name their parents alternated picking first in middle names needless to say when we have kids we're going to find a name we both like you know i think spaghetti james and michael tortellini are fine names you're planning to raise another man's child with your almost ex-wife your relationship is evidently on thin ice and you think your problem is the kid's name jesus everyone sucks here rp can totally dip now and not be on the hook for child support right will be for at least the former kid no alright yeah you're probably right i wonder if opie and his wife decide to stay together and raise the second kid can they still go after that other guy and rake in some passive income if he didn't want the kid they shouldn't seek him out for passive income that's crappy also opie not the a-hole this whole thing is wild but hopefully you guys can work it out if you've already gotten over that it's not yours that's the hard part posted by user unproud dad23 titles am i the a-hole for telling my daughter she'll never be able to handle living alone i have three grown children my two youngest 28 and 23 have both settled in their own places that i have my 31 year old who has lived at home all her life she works full time at a fast food place she's been there for eight years but won't accept a promotion because she doesn't want to get stuck there often her paychecks can only cover her gas toiletries and the rest is play money sometimes she'll surprise the oddball and chain and myself with dinner and feeds the pets but other than that the housework falls on the wife while i work full time she talked about moving out for a few years but hasn't taken the steps until now she's actively looking and taking tours along with seeking a better job the mrs and i decided to take a weak road trip and left her in charge of the house i return home and am informed that she hasn't had one night just by herself she forced the other kids to stay with her along with friends she told me she couldn't manage to being alone right now she has been on my last nerve so i was blunt and told her to prepare herself for taking care of me and the wife when i'm old because she'll still be in the house and there's no way in hell she'll handle living on her own it sounds harsh but not wrong god you sound like a really nice and supportive optimistic good man op wow i wonder how her self-confidence is going after that one that was just really nice of you to say that shouldn't you want the best for your kids just because she's still 31 and living with you guys doesn't mean it's impossible for her to handle living on her own we don't know the full story here but you haven't gone about it the right way here you've been very aggressive and negative and i don't know what to tell you you're the a-hole it sounds harsh but not wrong you may have heard the phrase you're not wrong but you're still saying this now of all times when by your own admission she's starting to actively look for her own place and seeking out a better job is surely going to help her on her path and work wonders for her motivation no you're the a-hole i agree she's obviously lacking some self-confidence and this can not have helped one bit perhaps she could have made better life choices but it sounds like she's trying to turn it around she could have made better life choices but i think it's likely the op and his wife could have made better life choices too in my experience when a clearly unhappy adult kid is still living with their parents in their 30s it's almost always partly caused by the way they were parented yes there are outliers this is a generalization i'd want to know if rp makes it a habit to point out all of his daughter's flaws and weaknesses my dad was like that and it left me with crippling anxiety and low self-esteem to this day it doesn't even make logical sense if your goal is to have your daughter move out why would you cut her down when she's trying to take her first baby steps not every true thing has to be said out loud especially from a parent to their child maybe encouragement could go a long way towards building her confidence i think he just said it out of frustration then tried to rationalize why it was an okay thing to say it wasn't and yes i'd guess opie and the ball and chain screwed up royally in parenting at least on the first one reluctance apathy low self-worth and anxiety about life don't come out of nowhere i'd guess you hit the nail on the head that comments like ops growing up explain precisely why the three of them wound up in their current predicament that ball and chain comment irritated me if i have a husband and he calls me that even 30 years into the marriage that would make me sad because i'd like to think of us as a scale balancing each other out you're the a-hole the way you speak about your wife and daughter is gross af it also sounds like your daughter may have some kind of undiagnosed mental health issue if she cannot spend a night alone she needs help and support not derogatory commentary from you i'm about to be downvoted to oblivion but it's cool can you provide the line where he talks down to his wife because i honestly don't see anything other than the old ball and chain which i honestly think he was using just as humor it really doesn't sound like he thinks of her that way second if the daughter was a dude in his early 30s living at home not willing to get a job not willing to help around the house and requiring to have someone over because they can't entertain themselves for one night alone would you be saying they have an undiagnosed health issue or would you tell him to pick himself up and learn how to be an adult because yes adulting is hard but we all got to do it i understand how this sounds massively sexist and i'll take it but i'm really unhappy that this world finds it acceptable to cater to women when they are having a rough time the world is a rough place i was in shoes similar to his daughter and not once did someone ever say i think he may need more help and support not derogatory commentary she has been there 31 years how much support does she get to have i doubt she's been there because he's been a massive dick the entire time sometimes it's important to give a push and opie is finally ready to take charge of that i agree i'm willing to state that opie is british and not american furthermore if the daughter can't stand one night alone in the house then they are not planning to move out and refusing to get a promotion my brother-in-law wanted to only get one job in his life which he was never qualified for he never got that job spoiler alert he's 62 and never left home edit showed this to my husband and he asked me to add that my brother-in-law ended up grudgingly looking after my mother-in-law with dementia for five years before she went into care while complaining all the time about having to do it my mom told me that daughters take way better care of their aging parents compared to sons and every situation i've seen that is correct i'm sure there are exceptions but women are expected too and tend to do the heavy lifting in regards to taking care for their parents edits any men reading this please be the exception your mom most likely deserves it posted by user bart bartson bartmann titled am i the a-hole for no longer inviting my sister anywhere because she has turned into a stereotypical vegan this situation has caused a lot of drama in my family but i feel like i am completely in the right meanwhile my parents are asking me to just ignore her behavior and invite her because this situation is causing a rift in the family and really hurtful to my sister i 28 male and my siblings 23 female 20 female 26 male have always been thick as thieves despite the age differences we even moved to the same city near our hometown in order to be near each other apart from my younger sister she lives at home that has changed a lot in the past 10 months though when my sister turned vegan now of course i do not give a damn about eating habits and i'm fine with checking if restaurants we eat at have vegan options or if i invite them over to have something vegan to feed her but she went full on religiously vegan within a few weeks it started with annoying near-constant comments concerning mine my siblings or parents eating habits when at restaurants and stuff that quickly turned into passive snide remarks about eating meats but we could deal with that however a few months in she went full on bitterly proselytizing her lifestyle to everyone to the point she even made my younger sister cry as for conversations with her she turned everything towards veganism how's your leg injury fine i think my lifestyle really sped up the healing process followed by a lecture every damn convo i told her dozens of times to tone it down but she wouldn't listen it was at that point i just stopped speaking to her as much as i used to and made the choice to not invite her to my house or invite her to restaurants when i organized it because i got tired of it plain and simple without me influencing anyone my brother started doing the same and so did a lot of extended family cue her panicking and being in full tears to my parents constantly calling us and asking what she did while of course ignoring it when we told her now she is accusing us of alienating her ganging up on her bullying her and so forth and my parents have since begged me to just forgive and forget and deal with it since she's driving them insane sounds like she's the parent's uh problem now sorry about that if she wants to start acting like that that's her prerogative she can deal with the consequences of her actions she isn't entitled to the respect and attention of her siblings if she's going to proselytize like that and make it an issue for them i think we can all agree on that so until she changes her ways i don't blame op and the siblings for what they've done and i don't think that opie is the a-hole in my personal opinion you are not the a-hole i while not vegan and vegetarian i have never once forced my sort of lifestyle on anybody the snarky side comments the antagonizing behavior of a stereotypical vegan in reality they're radical and annoy even the kindest vegans even i couldn't put up with that try to have a conversation with her it's not right to force eating habits on people nor is it right to shame somebody for not having the same eating habits as you do as i read a different comment i'd say you're not the a-hole however yes they're right don't lose a family member over eating habits also a vegetarian here i think making sure to check that a restaurant has vegan options and making sure when you have someone over that there is food they can eat is already considerate enough of op that's what i would expect from someone sister sounds absolutely unbearable and like you say even other vegans probably don't want to be around that kind of energy not the a-hole not the a-hole if anyone is constantly making snide remarks to everyone in a group they are clearly annoying and to believe that everyone else is inferior to them regardless of why they start doing this her heart might have originally been in the right place by trying to help use lead a healthier lifestyle but it definitely isn't anymore if she asks explain to her what she's doing and how much everyone dislikes it if she agrees to stop slowly begin inviting her back to things if people see that she's changed it'll all go back to normal if she doesn't stop inviting her again sad thing is opie already said when she went to them crying they tried to tell her why they were doing what they were doing she just ignored them though not the a-hole posted by user throwaway 972-511 titled am i the a-hole for not letting my roommate use my micro fridge unless she pays half of the rent for it throw away because she knows my mane i female 19 and currently doing summer classes at my college as i was able to stay on campus due to familial issues i have a roommate female 19 jill who seemed like she was great before we moved in i asked her if she wanted to split the cost of renting a microfridge which is about 220 usd for the year she says no she doesn't need a fridge or microwave i rented my own and thought everything was okay a week or so into living together jill asks if she can use the microwave to heat up her food from a few nights ago i say sure because i didn't think that it was a huge deal and thought it was a one-time event nope chug tester she continued asking to use the microwave for a few weeks buying food that could only be made in a microwave without asking me if that was okay i let it slide because i didn't really want to get into it with her a week passed and i told her that i wanted her to pay one-third of the cost if she was going to be using it that much as she was also leaving a pretty big mess regularly inside of it she just laughed and said that it's our microwave and she can do what she wants with it then i get back from grocery shopping one day and go to put ice cream in the freezer only to discover that it has a bunch of her stuff in it leaving me with no room to put my stuff in so i told her that if she wanted to keep using it she had to pay me half of the rent for it she scoffed and said that i was being a bad roommate and that it was fine for her to use it as it was in our room and that it was unfair for me to go from one third to one half well one-third was when she was only using the microwave but when she's taking up significant space i want her to contribute to it more i told her that i wanted her to venmo the money to me by the end of the week or i'd take her stuff out of the fridge and put everything in my room where she can't get to it a week passes still no money i can barely fit any of my stuff in the fridge that i pay for because of everything she has in there i reminded her a couple of times about it going about one and a half weeks then i took all of her stuff out of the fridge and put it by her bed moving the fridge into my room and locking the door she gets back and freaks out yelling about how i'm a horrible roommate and she needs her gatorade to be cold because it helps with her migraines i've been living with her for a few weeks now and she's never mentioned this before and that if i don't get the fridge out of my room she's going to get the people in charge of the dorm involved i asked for the money again and she said that it was her right to use it as we were sharing the room she continued to flip out at me until i just went into my room and shut her out am i the a-hole i think i'm being reasonable because it's my fridge that i pay for a few of my friends agree with me but jill's friends have been texting me about how i'm messing with her migraines and making her life harder because the meds don't work on her and there they are the magical enabling friends and family isn't it weird how they're always recurring characters at the end of these stories i'm willing to believe jill just got extra phones herself and posed as the friends jill doesn't sound like a good person jill sounds like they're trying to cheap skate op and do a whole bunch of stuff that op is not cool with rp you have every right to keep jill from your food terrible roommates 0 out of 10 wouldn't venmo you the cash one star ruba jill can go to hell she can take that complaint and shove it up her ass that's all i have to say opie not the a-hole not the a-hole lock everything up in your room and devoid this mooch like the plague don't feel bad at all it's been her plan from the start also don't share with her now even if she does give in and offers you the money she already took over the fridge completely once if she has even more permission it's likely you'll never have room for anything and she'll never clean the microwave and justify it by saying she pays for the space this is so true now if she wants a microwave in fridge she can pay the full cost and rent her own hopefully you can get a new roommate when the new term starts not the a-hole not the a-hole it's your fridge what the hell you paid for it does she seriously think she has ownership rights to it because it's a common area yeah that's what it seems like you should start sleeping in her bed and use her desk and room because you're sharing it right you have the right to use it that's exactly what i was going to suggest sleep in her bed use her razor scrubbed his ass cheeks with her toothbrush not a problem everything's common air seriously though don't do it but you might threaten to do so you know just bust out the vibrator it's a communal vibrator isn't it we're all one big happy family in this community dorm posted by user joe college fscs titled am i the a-hole for telling my friend to return her dog to its foster family and telling her ex-husband the truth so my friend got to rescue nikita from a foster family when she got him they were explicitly told his trigger areas are touching his face tail and paws my friend has two children one being three and the other is nine months they haven't had the dog for more than 24 hours when the three-year-old ran up to the dog unsupervised and got attacked my friend who was the child's mum was sitting on the couch throughout this whole ordeal not supervising any interaction between her kid and the new dog the kid was covered in blood with a decent sized gash on her temple my friends took her to the hospital and lied to the hospital saying that it was a neighborhood dog the consequence of that lie was that the child had to go through rabies shots since they couldn't confirm if the neighborhood dog had its shots she also lied to her soon-to-be ex-husband about the attack as well i told him the truth as he would be kept up on all the details she refused to give him i told her to return the dog to the foster family for a child's safety or face putting the dog to sleep which i didn't want either she went off on me telling me that her child grew up around animals so she will be fine as of today she has kept the dog i'm gonna go for seriously regrettable choices for a hundred there why is she keeping the dog the kid just full on ran at the dog and got attacked don't keep the dog you obviously can't look after it and you watched your kid do it and get attacked terrible parenting there and i don't blame the father for being a soon to be ex-husbands jesus call animal control get that dog taken off her op you're not the a-hole but you will be if child protective services or animal control are not called to come and assess the situation that the mother is putting both the dog and the child in danger or if the ex-husband doesn't do it i don't care this needs to be sorted out not the a-hole for the time being not the a-hole one and three-year-old children aren't capable of following guidelines regarding not touching the dog in these areas even if they were supervised at all times which it sounds like they're not this sounds like a recipe for disaster those kids are going to get seriously hurt and the dog is going to get put down what a crappy situation that dog should not be in a home with small children it definitely needs a home with older kids eight at the youngest or adults only a one and three year old are going to get in the dog's face pull ears and tails and try to touch its feet opie's friend is asking for the dog to mull her kids and be put down when the truth comes out i'm scared for the kids and feel awful for the dog i almost wonder if the friends doesn't want to return the dog because she lied to get it to begin with like any rescue i know would absolutely have had an age restriction on adoption for this dog yeah i'm having a hard time believing they would even adopt out a dog like that to a family with small children if they knew about it not the a-hole she put her own child in danger due to her own negligence their father deserves the truth and needs to take precautions because the mother is a liability yep this isn't a game not the a-hole and call cps and let them know of the situation i'm serious sick of reading stories about dogs killing toddlers every time i go to check my email oh my god it's yahoo that does that that's sick no thank you yahoo i'm cutting toxicity out of my life in 2020. can you contact the rescue where she got the dog i don't have the paperwork and she's cut off all contact with me i've had three jumbo akitas these are not dogs to adopt without careful consideration what you've described here fits the criteria in my state for a call to cps i would report her not the a-hole posted by user throwaway 11777 titled am i the a-hole for re-homing our dog throw away two years ago my husband wanted a husky i agreed only if responsibility is split he had labradors growing up and i had australian shepherds great dogs i warned him about high-energy dogs how if they don't burn it off it's like having another toddler our kids were one and three years old oh god flashbacks to last story we adopted shadow who was eight months old things were great at first we worked from home and we have acres of land so we were able to give the pop his needs a year ago my husband became depressed i took on all household chores the kids and the dog i struggled to balance shadow started to act out can't blame him because a husky unable to run isn't a happy pop a few months ago we found out our oldest is allergic to dogs allergists said shadow wouldn't be an issue as long as we keep up on cleaning and once old enough we'll talk about medications and shots i sat my husband down and told him to pull his weight or i will find shadow at home he helped for a month our son's allergies fled up so bad the allergist suggested re-homing because it's not fair to both our son and the dog i agreed but my husband didn't i contacted a friend who's single and childless has the time and ability and a great home and yard to give shadow a wonderful life shadow already loves her so it made sense plus we'd be able to see him still as he's just a few roads over shadow left a few days ago when my husband was out with the kids the kids are upset but took it well my husband threw such a fit calling me a selfish a-hole and more now i feel like dirt am i the a-hole for re-homing shadow when my husband didn't want to edit i didn't expect this to take off i no longer feel bad and no my husband's name calling was wrong here is some info that people have asked about that i was unable to fit into the original i told my husband many times he needs to pick up his slack it became even more serious of a discussion the last two times as they were both the night after the allergist appointments he knew he had to help out to be able to make shadow and our son's allergy work out he knew after the last allergist appointment i would be looking for a home for shadow he knew all he had to do was pick up his half of housework or shadow's care he just didn't believe i would do it he is in therapy for his depression it's only helped a little and he's trying to find a medication that works for him maybe i'm the a-hole for saying this but his depression is not a valid reason to hang on to shadow and make his life and our son's life miserable my husband is an adult with many forms of coping mechanisms and resources versus our son who's little and can't help his allergy my son is three now that has the allergies he has been to pulmonary and ent specialists when symptoms first started congestion watery eyes shortness of breath he was thought to have asthma and blocked air flow from enlarged adenoids and tonsils after treatments and surgery didn't work out they suggested an allergist who tested for basically everything food animals outside and inside allergies nobody is allergic to dogs in our family so we were shocked our sun worsened because of how bad a husky sheds and i was unable to keep up with all the housework we have carpet so anyone with indoor allergies or knowledge of them knows how horrible that is his allergy went unknown for a bit of time because we both used to share the responsibilities of our whole household and therefore the house was cleaned daily his allergies weren't as bad as they are now because of this i felt i had to wait to do the pickup when they were all gone my husband would have caused a scene and not allowed shadow to go with our friend of many years there's no doubt about it this would have scared and upset the children and end up upsetting shadow it just would have been chaos and more traumatic for the kids shadow and our friend and yes i worried about shadow being stressed out and upset also he's a really good boy the type that if someone's upset he makes it his mission to love them extra just imagining him scared and worried about all of us while in a back seat looking out the window unable to comfort the screaming and crying mess in front of him that's not how i wanted any of us involved to remember that day people are concerned for the kids the reason i didn't mention them is because for a three and five-year-old they handled this very maturely compared to their father i expected tears questions and for them to not understand fully and that was taken care of there was no need for goodbyes my kids know it see you later to shadow instead as they're able to visit and see him every day he's living a few roads down where we had permission to visit any time even before shadow lived there we are over each other's houses a lot she was even our go-to dog sitter if we ever needed one and it's why i knew she would be a great fit our friend passes our house in the afternoon during her normal running routes she normally stops by but has been avoiding their roots temporarily because of my husband the kids have gone over to see shadow and play with him in his new yard and all three surprisingly were fine when it was time to leave edit 2 i'm sorry for so many edits i never thought that certain details would actually matter so much and that's my fault i felt guilty that maybe i wasn't trying hard enough to balance everything i'm not superwoman no i won't be re-homing my husband this is not like him at all before his depression he was a lively person we just have to work through this and get him back on track so he can live a healthy productive life filled with joys again while managing the depression properly my husband reduced his hours at work when this started which i supported we figured that would help him focus on his mental health better less stress happier life we thought we can live comfortable off my income being the main source and half the income he was used to pulling in without dipping into our savings and emergency funds we can't afford to take shadow to the groomers frequently expensive products or services to help maintain the household and such also people seem to think i just wanted shadow gone and that's not the truth at all he was my snuggle buddy when watching movies his doggy bed was right next to me on my side of the bed so i can keep a hand on him while i slept i adored that fluffy racer and would wake up at 4am just to stand outside to enjoy coffee and watch him play in the snow those beautiful intense blue eyes staring at me waiting for me to wake up and his silly excitement when he realized i was finally i love him that will never change i did this because i felt it was best for shadow and dao's son my judgment is that opie is not the a-hole i understand that the depression of the husband plays a huge part in this one and that she went against him but sometimes we have to make those decisions in life and it's not hard and the health of the kids should be the priority in this relationship in this family in this everything obviously shadow hasn't been removed permanently but you know this way it benefits everyone even though the husband hasn't perceived it to benefit him it actually does because his kids are in bed instead and i think if he wants to sabotage the health of his kid just to keep the dog that's a very selfish thing to do so opie not the a-hole not the a-hole your partner refused to help you create the environment in which shadow can stay and your son isn't constantly dealing with allergies plus sounds like you ensured shadow would be well cared for refused to help you just this the husband literally did nothing to help with the kids the housework or the dog it sounds like and she warned him she said that he needed to pull his weight and help or the dog would have to go the husband did nothing and then was surprised when not helping meant that something had to give not the a-hole alright guys that's where i'm going to end today's video i really do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learned something that you didn't know before if you haven't already please do feel free to click that like button as it really does help me in the youtube algorithm and if you haven't already and you love today's video please feel free to subscribe i would love it a lot also big big big shout out to all my patreon members and channel subscribers you guys are all up in the screen right now i love you i love your faces also i love seeing you guys all chatting down below in the comments it brightens my day to see the stories that you guys share and just the kind words you guys always have for my videos as well as everyone else in the videos i love you too but honestly your ongoing support means the world to me and i just love it so much that you guys were able to support a career for myself that i invest so much time into and you guys honestly motivate me to work harder each and every day to put more love into the videos for you guys if you guys have watched this far in the video and you haven't already subscribed on patreon or become a channel member that's cool you don't have to but there are links down below uh you can donate any amount of money pledge that any month cancel whenever i'm completely cool with it it's just there for you to support me if you'd like to go the extra mile and i'll go the extra mile for you guys by putting out new amazing content every single day with that said guys i really hope you have a good day night sleep bath time at work whatever you're up to today this has been marky i'll see you in the next amazing video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 44,647

Rating: 4.9060831 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: JfVobVk9Fls

Length: 37min 21sec (2241 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 29 2020