r/AmiTheA**Hole AITA STORIES EP 2 | r/AmiTheA**Hole Top Posts of All Time

g'day there guys did you know that the human body is basically 90 water and you know what that means we're all cucumbers with anxiety pretty much welcome back to the show it's marky with another r slash am i the a-hole episode if you loved today's content tell me what you think of it down in the comments sit back relax and enjoy the show posted by user tw confusedgirl25 titled am i the a-hole for not correcting my stepson when he said both of his moms on mobile pre-pandemic i've been a part of my stepson's life since he was two now he's five my husband and his ex are both very involved parents and split custody equally i don't parent him unless there's a serious issue and my partner needs help i play more of the aunt role than a parent in his life but i'm always there when he's staying the nights and days with his father i usually drop him off to daycare when he's at our house etc and his mum or dad pick him up depending on where he's spending the night i'm not sure whether they've had the stepmom talk with him but he's never addressed me as such and i've never pushed him to if he wishes to call me that that's fine if he wants to call me by my name that's also fine i was driving him to his daycare and as we were going through my kid-friendly playlist my favorite song played he pointed out that his mother liked the song and i said hey me too his exact words were cool both my moms like the same song i didn't think much of it he must have said the same thing to his mother because when i came after work my husband confronted me i told him yes he had said both his mums my husband said i should have corrected him then and there and i'm not his mum i said i don't mind being called whatever by the kid as long as it's not derogatory what he should or shouldn't call me is a talk reserved for his parents and i'm not allowed to parent him he flipped the argument since i don't parent him i shouldn't be called mom i told him that this is an issue that he and his ex have to handle i won't push the child into calling and not calling me something i'm on her side with that one why should she have to correct him it's actually not her job too and she's not a malicious person in the circumstance being like you have to call me mum you have to call me grandmom you have to call me this and that which i am not the kid just really likes this person it doesn't seem like they have malicious intent so you know i'm inclined to stay on their side for this one gonna go with not the a-hole i just don't think that they should be the ones making decisions here don't correct the kid let the parents do that tell the parents that the kid called you this let's see what they say about it edits thank you so much for the not the ahold responses there are so many that i'll try to reply to all my friend had said that it was the parent's decision on what i get called and was kind of a d move to not agree with them which was why i posted it here things have been quiet for a while because with the pandemic ex-wife and b the son had gone to her mother's for some down time now that they will be coming back i think i'll sit them both down and try to discuss my role in his life when me and husband decide to start a family in the future i want to make sure what the plan would be not the a-hole you're a step-mum it's sweet that he sees you as a maternal figure that he can trust i didn't really think of it that way not the a-hole and honestly i feel like this is a conversation you should have with your husband sure his ex is also the boy's mom but why is he so upset that his son is having a good connection with you i've seen so many posts on here where the step kids just hate their step parents and your stepson actually loves you enough to consider you one of his parents he should be happy about this not the a-hole i bet the real issue is that he's getting crap from his ex about their son calling another woman mom instead of having it out with her he's mad at his wife both this little dude's parents need to check their egos and consider what's best for their son i was going to say something similar i bet the axe is ticked and irritating him about it and he would rather deal with his reasonable wife than his cantankerous ex honestly though if they've told her not to parent him then this is squarely on their shoulders and they need to stop tramping when she follows their request so the point my husband said i should have corrected him then and there and i'm not his mom not the a-hole if you're not his mum then you're not responsible for correcting his speech either can't have it both ways and he flipped the argument since i don't parent him i shouldn't be called mom you were taking the kid to daycare if you're not his parents i'm assuming your husband is paying you for this service as you're clearly just a glorified babysitter then your husband wants to have his cake and eat it you are not forcing the kid to do anything he doesn't want but if he's happy to call you mom what's even wrong with that not the a-hole if she had corrected him it would have been hurtful to the child him calling her mum was a mark of his love and respect for her if she said i'm not your mum in that instance he would probably have felt like she was rejecting him and stomping all over those feelings endop replies according to him he already has a mum and i'm not it ex-wife hasn't gotten in contact with me she keeps conversations strictly about necessary things and only to my husband's this is such a silly reason there is no limit to the number of loving adults a kid can and should have in their life kid has a bonus mom if you're okay with being called that and that's pretty cool not the a-hole updates am i the a-hole for not correcting my stepson when he said both my mums it's been a while since my post but it got so many responses that i thought i should give an update a few days after the arguments my husband admitted that he had overreacted especially because x had made a huge deal out of the situation and now that he had time to think he's happy that his son b and i get along so well we talked about a lot of things namely what would happen when we have children he agreed that it would change the dynamic of our family he's already told me that he won't be renegotiating the custody and that his son would be just as much a part of our lives than as he is now i told him i understood that but my stand on parenting would then have to change if we parented them separately it would only enforce the new family old family dynamic he agreed to sit down with his ex and talk to her we have done a bit of family planning and how we plan to raise the children and whether or not those things would be applicable when bee was at our home we met his ex when she came back a few days back understandably they first had a family meeting and addressed what b thinks of me i'm really happy to say that he likes me and wants to continue hanging out after that we had an adult talk it was awkward because we haven't exactly interacted before the ex-wife admits that she may have freaked out a little she said that it was increased by how a co-worker of hers went through a similar situation and her daughter chose the stepmom because she was cooler i assured her that she would always be his mom and i wasn't taking her place in his life and i wouldn't undermine her they've agreed to let b call me whatever he chooses we haven't really set down any parenting roles but we're taking baby steps we're going to continue things as they are for now we will probably have to address things as they go on for now we've agreed to sit down a few times a year together and be a family to be it will be difficult because my husband and ex-wife haven't spent time together since they separated but hopefully things will work out for those who asked me whether my ex-wife has a boyfriend no she hasn't been in a serious relationship since their divorce i don't know her well enough to say why but i know that she does go out on dates i think it might be because she hasn't found anyone so as far as b is concerned she hasn't introduced anyone to him i think she'll understand my position a little better when she starts a serious relationship but for now she's okay she doesn't seek out conversations with me but she doesn't antagonize me either so i'll take that i think that's all there is thank you for your comments you guys really brought up some good points that i hadn't thought of before and thankfully was able to address them before they became an issue in the future edits wow i logged out for some time and came back to so many replies and awards thank you so much you guys really helped me take a good perspective on my family god bless you guys wow grown ass adults acting like grown ass adults a true rarity well done on developing a healthy situation for the kid this was the best ending possible and at the end of the day it's b's choice who his mum and dad are if his buyer mum eventually gets into a serious relationship with a guy b is more than within his rights to consider the new dude also a father to him it's always the kids choice who mom and dad are it's also good that you guys are handling this as adults i understand the bio mum's little freakouts but it's good that you all came together to discuss this bee is lucky to have you all be in his life this sub is filled with stories of the same situation that didn't end so well because the adults couldn't put their feelings aside for the good of the kid i applaud you all it's awesome everyone is finally being mature about this and i'm stoked for y'all's future i will admit when my ex started dating someone new i had a hard time with it it was very scary thinking another woman was going to fulfill a maternal role in my son's life now that we're all older and more mature i have zero qualms in the end my son is so loved by his four parents not stepmom and dad two moms and two dads who love him fiercely now i think we've covered this one before but there is an update so we're covering it again posted by user snoo macaroon 7686 titled am i the a-hole for not letting my child speak her native language at home title isn't as bad as it sounds hahaha my wife is welsh and i am english but if you get right down to it we're both british anyway she's always been kind of funny about identifying as welsh and not british no matter how many times i tell her they're not mutually exclusive i'm really tired of having to put up with her extreme nationalism first of all she insisted that our daughter have a welsh name so now my family can't even pronounce it or spell it i have to put up with jokes about my daughter's name all the time and her name getting spelled wrong all the time the only primary school in the area is welsh school so my daughter has started learning all her school work through welsh this is fine i guess it's pointless but other than not being able to help her with her homework which her mom does anyway it's not an issue the issue is that my daughter has started speaking welsh with her mother's family her mother and her friends outside of school i asked her to stop but my wife said i was being really rude to ask her to stop speaking in her native language but she can speak english too it's not her native language when her father doesn't speak it my wife said i'm an a-hole because i agreed to raise our child bilingually but i was under the impression that our daughter would still choose to speak english because it's all around us she speaks english and welsh at home sometimes mixing them both it's confusing and can't be good for her education to be learning it in a pointless language what happens when she goes to university in english my wife says that i should get lessons for welsh and she would be happy to pay and help but i really don't see the point in learning a dead language when we can all just speak english am i the a-hole for wanting my child to speak english god don't you guys just hate it when the extreme nationalist welsh come out they're just such a well-known group and there's a reason why the english hate them they must just absolutely despise them for taking over their language and conquering everything right god all those people around the world especially those american like cities with the large welsh population they must just be struggling trying to learn while speaking welsh and english right god that's just terrible this guy is either trolling or just extremely ignorant but uh you do you op you do suck for saying all of this the am i the a-hole is not for wanting your child to speak english the am i the a-hollers am i the a-hole for banning my kid from speaking welsh that's it and yes you are you definitely are edit okay but now my wife is making me sleep on the couch while she thinks about our relationship am i still the a-hole when she's willing to disrupt our child's life because i want my child to speak a language everyone speaks yes edits i'm okay with her learning welsh just not speaking it at home all the time it's stupid having a three-way conversation when people aren't speaking the same language but my daughter insists on using welsh i can see why that would upset you edits i'm going to answer questions that ask me why i married my wife i married her because i love her end of edits going to bed some comments have given me some insight and i can't ignore all the other a-hole posts i thought maybe it was just the welsh being added again but well there's more of you calling me an a-hole than there are welsh speakers i'll have a thinking chat with my wife tomorrow edits i'm having a lot of trouble sleeping i'll be honest might have something to do with me being a hundred percent an a-hole to my wife and daughter a lot of mixed feelings how do i explain that i still feel like i'm in the rights but know now that i'm wrong we live in the countryside and it's been hard with lockdown i couldn't work and i was surrounded by all the welsh in my home without any english outlet of my own i was wrong and very bitter and used those bitter feelings against my own family i'm going to tell my wife that i'll get welsh lessons and i plan on couples counselling for us so that i can properly work through my crap i'd like to say thank you to everyone that's helped me grow up and see that my daughter was more important than my childish selfish reasons i was so screwed up unwilling to learn because i was already behind and i'd like to thank those who shared their stories of learning welsh updates am i the a-hole for not letting my child speak her native language at home so i posted about two weeks ago looking for your judgments it took a while but i agree with it some developments have happened since then so i thought i would update 1. i admitted to my wife i was being an a-hole and was ready to learn welsh i've been using duolingo and sitting down with my daughter and wife while we do my daughter's homework my wife still laughs whenever i say lanelli but here we are 2. i showed my wife the am i the a-hole post she said i was a complete dip crap but she cried and admitted she has been excluding me on purpose in the hopes that i would learn welsh if she did it enough i explained how it made me more resentful and i had almost left her because of it we're gonna go to couples therapy three she told me that i need to tell yanks who pretended that they could say landfare pg to kachow bent and khaodi di what they were some of the first words i learned in welsh so they can be yours too four i sent my dad a message telling him to ask my mother if she can start pronouncing megan the way my wife wants it megan likes it the welsh way too and faux vomited when i asked her if she liked the way my nana said it my mother hasn't said anything but my wife and i taught megan to tell her nana i like my name said like this when my mum says it wrong we'll have to see where this goes since my mom has said in the past that she won't pronounce it like a sheep-shagging pleb i will be putting my foot down if she starts 5. there was someone who pretended to be my wife on another post i reported it and it got taken down i did not make my wife sleep on the couch that night lol just some sad person creating made up drama and six my daughter and i managed to get a five star island on animal crossing not relevant but we managed it this week have a nice day and cheers for your help i'm glad with this update and you should put your foot down with your mom as what she says is really really rude the mother has been warned for the longest time i've had my mother tramping about my wife and my wife tramping about my mother i now see that playing mediator was wrong my daughter and my wife will always come first i'm welsh i think you need to bring your mum down a peg or two sheep shagging pleb comment really annoyed me as it comes from when the english oppressed the welsh people have been convicted using that term as it is a racially aggravated term also welsh is not a dying language your daughter will have access to a lot of bursaries when she's older further to the language aspect the english broke the welsh language where there are two dialects of it your mother needs to realize that she's only hurting your daughter i can't say it i didn't see your original post at the time but god you were so english in it in a bad way sorry i'm irish and we spent centuries trying to get england out of our country and to stop interfering with our language we've never quite recovered and welsh is far healthier than irish is now it's heartbreaking you've seen the lights but don't be that english stereotype who tries to wipe out other cultures good on you for starting to learn welsh posted by user am i the ahold mother edition titled am i the a-hole for sending my daughter to live with her dad so i have a 16 year old daughter that i share with my ex-husband who i share a good co-parent relationship with my 16 year old daughter lives with me full time because her dad lives in a different school district and she didn't want to leave that school and prefers our neighborhood and just area in general my younger brother also lives with us he has down syndrome which comes with a few other issues and can't really live life on his own and when our parents died three years ago he moved in with me lately my daughter has been posting videos on her accounts on the app tick tock of her making fun of my brother she'll record him struggling to read out loud or just doing other things that he has issues doing it's a pretty popular account with 10 000 followers i found it and took her phone away and she said why does it matter if i record that asler and has started being really mean to him and ignoring everything that i say i tried putting her in therapy so that she could talk to someone else so maybe she feels jealous of him but nothing has worked i was speaking to her dad and he brought up her living with him to get her away and changing the routine around so last week i told her she was going to live with her dad and stepmom and the visitation would switch around she freaked out and screamed about all the reasons she hated this house and told me i was choosing him over her calling him another slur i posted about this issue in a down syndrome support group and got attacked for shipping my daughter off and got called a terrible mother am i the a-hole for essentially choosing my brother's happiness over my teenage daughter now just why in the hell is the down syndrome support group supporting this ridiculous daughter they're cool with her posting on tik tok calling him the r word in what universe does a down syndrome support group support down syndrome people being actively targeted for harassment and then having it shown to the world i say cut them off and find better supports and kick that girl out of your house get her back to the dad's house there is you know there is consequences for these actions she's 16 years old she definitely knows better tick-tock clout means nothing it means absolutely nothing especially only ten thousand it's just sad numbers there is nothing wrong with choosing your brother's happiness over your teenage daughter she can piss off i don't even care about her now that's just disgusting not the a-hole i'm the parent of a child with down syndrome so this seriously hurts my heart i can't even begin to imagine how i would handle this situation i'm going to say not the a-hole her behavior is not acceptable on any level and you had to take a stand you aren't sending her to live with strangers you are changing the living arrangements and she is moving in with her father hopefully the two of you working together can help her see that what she is doing is wrong not the a-hole i agree with this 100 her behavior is absolutely unacceptable and there is no way that she should be posting videos of your brother online if her moving away to live with her father is the only way that this can get into her head then so be it i don't know much about tik tok or how good the content moderation is pretty terrible based on some of the hashtags i've seen but if possible please report these videos she posted or get others to report them i also think the mum should take the phone and make a tick tock educating the audience on why it's unacceptable to make fun of people with disabilities after that change the password on the accounts to effectively lock the daughter out of it ufn she can take this negative and attempt to spin it into a positive teaching moment this way i think making a video is a terrible idea closing the account or flagging the videos would be a good idea unfortunate reality of tick tock is that you do have to not make a video because you will just receive even more hate it's the unfortunate reality of today's social media you're not shipping her off you're sending her to her dad's house and flipping visitation you're not abandoning your kid but you've tried to teach her to behave appropriately and it hasn't worked maybe her dad will have more luck not the a-hole kid needs to learn somehow it's not unreasonable that your brother should be allowed to feel comfortable and not to be attacked in his own home yeah people switch custody all the time when a child is getting into trouble this i would probably consider this even if the person my daughter was recording didn't live with us i know i would take the phone and probably limit all internet usage as much as possible because she has shown that she can't handle the responsibilities of unsupervised access this could cause long-term damage to her when it comes to apply to college get a job or even form adult relationships later she needs to be protected from herself as well as stopped for cyber bullying updates am i the a-hole for sending my daughter to live with her dad i made a post about seven months ago about how my daughter was posting on tick tock making fun of my brother with down syndrome and how i sent her to live with her father i thought i'd post an update since it got a lot of traction and i'm sure some people were curious my daughter and i started therapy together it went from in person to having a zoom call since pandemic happened it was very rough at first but we started getting somewhere after about a month she started making tick-tocks about her daily life and he just so happened to be in them because they both lived with me then people started watching the videos she posted with him more than the others and it snowballed into her getting traction because of people teasing him so she did too i didn't watch all of her videos i'll admit only a couple where she was teasing him she has since apologized to me and makes an effort during her visits to help with him and she started taking him places like to get food with her and just to the park it was a rocky start but i think therapy has helped us both my daughter isn't a bad girl she just got mixed in with the wrong crowd as i would say she stays with me about half the time and her dad half the time so neither of us have more custody than the other she comes and goes as she pleases she still does therapy once a week and i think it's helped her not just with this but in general not the most exciting updates but a positive one nonetheless but a really great one to hear i'm happy it worked out and your daughter is taking a stronger interest in building a good relationship with your brother sounds like she's making a true effort to grow and become a better friend and family member to your brother absolutely therapy helps in so many ways and i hope the stigma that some people associate with it starts to go away as for the daughter she has made some real steps that will help her in the rest of her life i hope she continues on this journey of self-improvement one thing i think is neglected is the fact that when we help ourselves we can have such a better effect on others in many cases the stigma has been replaced with the cost a lot of people in the u.s simply cannot afford it and some people probably don't want to admit that and use other excuses instead of money to explain not going sometimes boring updates are the best ones i'm really glad she's realized what she did was wrong and is trying to be a better person growing up is all about learning this kind of stuff i hope it will help to make her a stronger and more empathetic person best of luck to the whole family it sounds like she's young and wanted to fit in and had feelings about her mum's brother that she needed to work through and she chose to let terrible people influence her in that way this sounds like a really healthy way to help her start coping with the unique situation of living with someone with down syndrome and the outside pressure while being a teenager and also i mean unique situation as in it's not a bad situation it's just a big change and this is a good place for her to talk about it and to learn how to stand up for her uncle even when it's unpopular life changes take time and communication posted by user am i the a-hole crybaby titled am i the a-hole for refusing to cry in front of my girlfriend i'm a 22-year-old man raised by a very traditional single dad among the many ideals my dad instilled into me was that crying was a sign of a weakness in men so most of the time my dad would reprimand me if i came to him crying it'd range from small things like spilling juice on my pants to being bullied at school he said if you're breaking down about these issues you're never going to make it in life i would hide my tears like an alcoholic would hide booths and eventually i grew up to be the strong silent type in school and in adulthood if being emotional meant hurting myself or someone else it seemed better to just not show them at all fast forward a few years i have this girlfriend katie that i'd been seeing for a few months most girls were turned off by me being so reserved but katie had this talent for seeing that i wasn't just mean or cold to people i was hurting she treated me like a decent human so i did my best to be a gentleman to her while still staying reserved my dad told me it was important that a man never let his own feelings keep him from protecting and being respectful to women about a week ago katie called saying that her mom died in the hospital due to complications from the rhona and asked me to come to the funeral her body was cremated to avoid attendees getting sick now i never knew what having a mom was like so as the preacher described katie's mum during the sermon it sounds like everything i wished i had as a kid someone who was gentle and nurturing who'd understand my feelings rather than criticize them someone who would let me cry on their shoulder like i'd done for katie so many times it was overpowering i felt the tears coming on and katie looked at me in surprise by force of habit i didn't dare let myself cry i took a deep breath swallowed the lump in my throat and just gave katie another hug after the service i drove katie home it was pretty quiet until out of nowhere she went off on me she said i cared more about looking like a macho man who didn't cry than letting her know how i felt she said things like i'm sorry your dad is stuck in the stone age and i've opened up to you so much but you never do the same for me and is your male ego really that fragile i just said enough or please stop but she wouldn't normally i'm not fazed by someone berating me thank you dad but after a while i couldn't take it anymore i just let her vent at me until i stopped at her house and said cold as ice get out she seemed to get the hint that i was ticked and ran into her apartment like a scared child now i don't know if what i did was right anymore it's become a habit of mine to avoid showing vulnerability but maybe katie has a point about having a male ego whatever that means am i the a-hole for refusing to cry in front of her i don't think so i don't really believe the whole male ego thing in this situation i feel like she is very emotionally charged after the funeral and you're not able to express those emotions and you guys haven't had a proper conversation about how both of you feel and i guess she doesn't know a lot about your past so she doesn't understand it and absolutely she's going to be very emotional and very explosive right now because she kind of feels like you're disrespecting her mother at the funeral a little bit i don't know i can see how in this moment and in her previous experiences she views you as the bad guy here because she doesn't like that stereotype i don't think you're the a-hole for refusing to cry in front of her i think you guys need to communicate more and be honest with each other no a-holes here i get both sides here your dad didn't do right by you growing up you realize this so maybe take steps to let your guard down slowly in front of kate she maybe shouldn't have gone off on you but i cannot blame her for the gist of her annoyance letting walls down cannot be a one-way street in a relationship if katie lets herself be open around you you need to put in the same effort in that regard and i doubt your girlfriend ran into the house like a scared child that i feel was kind of dickish on your part phrasing it that way she had a horrible day because of the funeral and to top it off she has a boyfriend that won't take steps to bring down the walls that his father put up therapy you were conditioned as a child to treat your emotions as unmanly and unworthy of feeling much less showing regardless of why it happened you're now facing a difficult adulthood with the danger of being so john wayne-like that people won't try to look past your walls please find a therapist who will help you know when and how to lower those walls best wishes on your relationship with katie it's a whole ish and here is why she's obviously really upset and probably just lashed out due to grief i think you should have been more understanding and not told her to get out of your car right after her mother's funeral to me it sounds like you're in touch with your feelings but she is also taking the role of a therapist in the sense that she is guiding you through emotional growth while this is nice and something many women will not do i think it's important for you to seek counselling in order to process the trauma in your life not having a mother and having such an emotionally detached parent can have a big effect on your world view over time she may be expecting you to meet her at some level of emotional intimacy which you may not be able to have without working on yourself first i do not think you're malicious at all but i do want you both to thrive i'm sorry for the passing of katie's mom updates am i the a-hole for refusing to cry in front of my girlfriend thank you all very much for your feedback in the original post there was a variety of perspectives on this but the general consensus seems to be that while i'm not the a-hole it is bad for our relationship if i keep bottling up you're right it's not fair to me or katie if she's looking for someone to relate to and i refuse to give that to her especially not when she's grieving also thank you for being sympathetic with katie's plight she's apologized for lashing out she was just acting out of grief not out of spite or a need to control me well the situation has turned into one of the most profound moments of my life as we were making amends katie gave me a copy of her mom's funeral on video we both watched it together and this time i found the courage to cry for the first time in seven and a half years hearing everyone describe katie's mom had tapped into my inner child the sad lonely little boy longing for the warmth and affection that he didn't get from his only parents katie despite her own grief showed me nothing but kindness throughout my mental breakdown all this time i'd been seeing my own feelings as being invalid compared to hers katie just said my mum always made me feel safe whenever i was sad now i want to do the same for you bless her heart now our relationship is stronger than ever we're both looking after each other but also seeking our own means of support to avoid being too dependent i finally started on my long overdue journey towards healing from my trauma and improving my mental health i never would have reached this milestone if it weren't for the kind people of reddit i started from having no other outlets to having more options towards bettering myself than ever thank you all very much congrats it's weird but crying to someone you trust and letting them comfort you feels so good you deserve that feeling exactly it just goes to show how strong your relationship is if you're able to be vulnerable to them and she made you feel safe enough to let go and be supportive enough to know that you can come to this safe place again and again the best relationships aren't the one that don't have ups and downs it's ones that can weather the storm together and come out stronger and this is proof of that good job opie you're both doing great posted by user i don't like the stink titled am i the a-hole for period shaming my daughter i am a 41 male single dad with a 13 year old daughter lacey my wife died in childbirth and it's just been me and lacy all her life my sister has been a big help in raising lacey and we do keep in contact with her maternal grandparents the issue started a couple of months ago when lacey started her period i knew this day would come so i spoke to my sister my female best friend and my mother-in-law to be well prepared i give her the talk with her grandmother and aunt there i buy her pads and tampons i even have a my doll and heating pads ready for lacey when she needs them the problem began when i began to notice a smell coming from lacy's room i went in to investigate and found pads and tampons openly disposed of in her waste basket i checked her bathroom and it was worse she had her bloodstained undergarments in the tub i took out her trash and did my best to get rid of the smell but i didn't know what to do with the underwear in the tub later i noticed blood stains on the couch it took a while of cleaning but i got them out and i figured that was the end of that it happened again last month when i noticed lacey's room was stinking again and i saw she didn't even wash the underwear from before the bathroom was unbearable at this point then earlier this week i saw bloodstains on the couch again i set lacey down and told her that she had to learn to properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products and wash her underwear as the smell was becoming too much and to be careful of getting bloodstains on the couch or anywhere that she sits i also noticed her sheets had a lot of bloodstains and brought this up too i also let her know that it was okay to get blood on things as long as she washed them and i wouldn't be upset if i saw her bloodstained items being washed lacey immediately blew up at me saying that periods aren't gross and that i was period shaming and that i needed to educate myself on menstruation i then got texts from my sister and mother-in-law scolding me for making lacey feel ashamed of her bodily functions but i honestly wasn't trying to convey that periods are gross i was trying to convey that her hygiene needed to be addressed and that this smell was becoming unbearable i just wanted to make sure that lacy knew how to properly dispose of pads and tampons without its smelling and that i wouldn't be annoyed if she washed her blood-stained items am i the a-hole here was i period shaming my daughter no how was you trying to help her and say hey you know it's cool if you bleed just fix it when the problem comes because you know it's natural it's nothing to be embarrassed about how is any of this shaming i guess she felt shame for it happening in a sense but he wasn't actively shaming her i'm guessing the two family members blew up at him because the daughter gave them a different version of the story than what the reality was so i can't particularly blame them for that for not knowing the full story but regardless op just needs to clarify communicate more the daughter needs to communicate more and all should be good so not the a-hole edits so i've mentioned it in a few comments i talked to my sister and mother-in-law and explained my side they apologize for the misunderstanding and like you guys have given some good cleaning tips and they'll talk to lacey and help her out with the pads and tampons too edit two so many people here have suggested it and i've asked lacey if her period pain is unbearable or just normal cramps and left the choice to her as to whether or not she wants to see a specialist but the option is there for her and edit three we have washed the sheets with hydrogen peroxide and purchased some oxiclean for future instances should we need it many of you have also suggested period underwear which again i have asked her aunt and grandmother abouts and they'll be able to give her more information about those as well as different hygiene products that she can use not the a-hole periods aren't gross but getting her period all over the place is she needs to learn basic period hygiene now or she will deeply regret it later in life you're a great father op but maybe consider having her see a therapist or someone more qualified to deal with why she is reacting this way thank you for the inputs i often feel like i'm not good enough to parent even though i try to make sure she's surrounded by mother figures just replying so you hopefully see it but not every pattern tampon will work the same for the same people you may need to have a discussion with her or have someone around you discuss that with her etc also definitely not the a-hole you weren't shaming just trying to help her be clean thanks for the info especially because there is such a variety i'm not sure what you might have gotten her but if you haven't gotten her nighttime pads and only panty liners that could be part of the reason she seems to leak everywhere it's a trial and error thing just remember to be nice about it because i'm sure she feels awkward but it seems like you're trying your best so good job no a-holes here you just have a child who needs more education if she's bleeding so much under the couch in bed then she either doesn't have menstrual products that work for her or she isn't changing them often enough i hope you also taught her about the risk of toxic shock syndrome but it sounds like she needs some more help learning to deal with this i suggest you talk to the women in your life and let them know that she's constantly bleeding through her menstrual products and ask them if they can help her learn how to better prevent that update am i the a-hole for period shaming my daughter it's been a while since my op and i remembered the outpouring of advice and support i got from this community i figured i would give a happy update involving a good smelling house and demanding fences with lacy in my opie edits i'd let everyone know i heeded their advice about cleaning methods in different feminine hygiene products outside of pads and tampons i let my mother-in-law and sister handle things in that department they also showed her how to properly dispose of items like pads and tampons and clean blood stains prior to throwing them in the laundry better than i could i also spoke to lacey and asked if she'd like to talk to a therapist after also scheduling an obgyn visit at her aunt and grandma's urging again a lot of australians say obgyn but americans say ob gyn so we've scheduled a video visit with both waitlists suck she also had a period some time back and was on top of her hygiene i didn't smell a thing and i even saw her doing her laundry i did however want to make sure lacey didn't think i was trying to shame her and turn everyone else against her so i sat her down and reiterated that i love her unconditionally and that i wasn't mad at her for the smell and bloodstains and that i noticed that she improved with her hygiene she appreciated that lacey also apologized for getting defensive and admitted that she was still feeling awkward about her body changing and how it was really beginning to dawn on her that she didn't have a mother she's never really spoken about that before so i got takeout from her favorite restaurants and we watched her favorite movies while i told her about the memories my wife and i shared and how she couldn't wait to be a mother while we went through photo albums all in all we're a happy and clean home again i hope laci will be able to better work through the loss of her mother with a therapist myself and my sister and mother-in-law are around for support in that area too so things are looking up for both myself and my daughter i hope this doesn't sound condescending but as a mother of girls i am really proud of you it takes patience guts and humility to act the way that you have following up and showing love and care you're a good dad not condescending at all thank you for the kind words you're setting such a great model and if she pursues relationships with men as an adult those guys will have a very high bar to clear to impress her she knows what a good man is like i'm so glad it's going well it can't be easy for lacey to go through this without her mother but you are doing a great job it's good that you seek help when you need it too so well done thank you for the words of encouragement i'm not a dad but i just wanted you to know that i hope someday that i'm half the father you are now you're a good man and a good father posted by user missing my girlfriend like crazy titled am i the a-hole for buying my girlfriend a singing bear my girlfriend and i have been together for about nine months we started dating right before the pandemic so she moved in pretty quickly living with my girlfriend was amazing i grew up at a house where everyone was very cold to each other while my girlfriend is affectionate and takes care of me in ways i never knew possible she lost her job due to the pandemic and went into being a full-time homemaker she does all the cooking and cleaning since i pay bills before you call me lazy she doesn't like it when i cook or did chores and because i make good money i like to buy her gifts it's usually something small but it became a daily ritual for me after work to stop at walnuts or the dollar store and buy her a small gift she loved it before i get into why the bear made her so mad here's context my girlfriend is black and the bear i got her had a button that you pushed to make it sing and the song was jungle love i thought it was funny but my girlfriend lost her mind she accused me of seeing her as these horrible things that i don't want to repeat and i kept trying to tell her i didn't mean it that way i love her like crazy and thinks she's better than me in every way and why would i be dating a black woman if i was racist but she kept insisting i needed to apologize for my casual racism so i finally just got fed up and said yes i'm sorry i've brought you so many gifts that i slipped up on one she ran upstairs crying and called her brother to pick her up she was at his place for the rest of the day and thankfully he managed to calm her down but she refused to come home until i sent her a video of me dropping the bear in the fireplace i told her i'm fine throwing out the bear but i'm not going to turn on my fireplace in the middle of summer and record a stupid video also i feel like a bear stuffed with electronic components burning in my living room is a bad idea i already threw the damn thing in the dumpster but she insists that if i really loved her i'd go pull it out of the dumpster and burn it we argued back and forth for several minutes before she hung up i texted her brother asking him to talk some sense into her and he just texted me back i ain't gonna defend your idiot ass anymore just take the l and get lost already i tried to call him but he blocked me so now i'm wondering if i should have just burnt the stupid bear to make my girlfriend happy it's still sitting in the dumpster outside it's not like it's too late but how would i send her a video if she blocked me it's killing me how much i miss her if i knew she'd react this badly i never would have gotten the bear i tried apologizing but that wasn't good enough she wanted me to perform some weird ritual instead now i wish i'd just done the weird ritual but i'm still not sure i deserved this kind of reaction for buying her a bear that sings i understand i could have handled the fallout better but am i really the a-hole for buying my girlfriend a singing bear i looked up the history of jungle love and then everything that accuses it of racism and i've got to say there are very strong arguments saying that it was racist in undertones i didn't even know that jungle love was a song before now so i can't really give a judgment on this one because i don't actually know myself i'm gonna say based on her reaction and opie's unwillingness to just burn the damn bear like it's not that hard you just burn the bear and you know apologize and not repeat these racist actions again why were you so unwilling to do that that puts you in a-hole territory to me it's clear that you deeply offended her and now you've also offended her family i.e her brother i don't know where you go from hero p but you're definitely the a-hole yeah man this is straight casual racism it's dehumanizing because those tropes of jungle fever and jungle love literally equate black people to apes and other animals instead of realizing this you doubled down and didn't even apologize you're the a-hole is it weird to anyone else that this guy also told her that she's better than me in every way also your apology sucked dude the part that makes me think that there's a bit more to the fact is that the brother blocked him i don't mean a big huge iceberg under the water i was just wondering how obnoxious op was being that this guy originally defended him and then decided f it and blocked him heads up for the future sarcastic apologies are a really really really bad idea it shows contempt for the other person and you're basically sneering at her attempts to explain the fact that you apparently sincerely consider this to be an apology well also dude racists have been sleeping with people they consider subhuman for all of history it's like saying you can't be a misogynist because you're dating a woman you also need to learn that it's not whether you are racist but whether the thing you said or did is racist everyone f's up sometimes by not listening to her you made this a huge quite possibly relationship ending argument instead of a learning moment not because you bought a bear but because you refused to listen to her and dismissed her with a deeply insulting apology wherein you basically called her ungrateful updates am i the a-hole for buying my girlfriend a singing bear well i just came here to tell you guys that i set things right with my girlfriend and burned this stupid bear like she wanted me to i sent the video to some mutual friends who then sent it to her so she unblocked me and called me i told her how much i love her and that i'll do whatever it takes to get her to come home i also told her i'm going to be a better listener when it comes to racial issues and i've made a lot of progress in that regard after we talked on the phone she told me to come pick her up i stopped at starbucks to get her her favorite drink and a cake pop on the way she loves those things and when i brought them to her she threw her arms around me and said this kind of stuff is why you'll always be my favorite douchebag white boy so that was nice anyhow i've basically been groveling and spoiling the hell out of her for the past month she still won't let me cook or do chores so i watched some tutorials and giving massages and started doing that every night when i get home from work her daily gifts are also more thoughtful than normal and last weekend i converted the attic into a library for her something she's always wanted but i originally said no because i used the attic for storage so i had to do quite a bit of finagling but i made it work because she's worth the trouble so now she has a cozy spot to read her books i'm still waiting on the beanbag chairs to come in but it's almost finished i just want to say thanks to the people who pointed out how dense i was being my girlfriend is the love of my life i want to marry her and have kids with her and i'm glad that the internet was here to tell me to stop being a stubborn idiot and to start being more understanding of her perspective thanks for kicking me in the ass reddit i may not deserve my girlfriend but i did deserve to be called an a-hole i'm going to be better from now on dude i'm proud of you instead of saying screw all of y'all to us you thought learned and fixed it you swallowed pride something every human has no matter how little and admitted that you messed up not many people can do it as well as you had what's most impressive is you chose to put love over pride it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong take responsibility and make amends tips hat to you honestly the library thing was the best post to the post i don't understand the need to buy her something every day but taking a part of your home and making it hers is so kind and heartfelt doing things like this is so much better than a store-bought item any day unlearning casual racism is a lifelong journey and we all f up from time to time i'm glad you're willing to keep learning man and good job opie and your girlfriend is a gracious woman you sound like you like to give and do a lot and that is wonderful your post is a lot about what you've done for her and a lot less about how she's responded maybe that's because of privacy but just don't forget while you're in the sling of doing lots of generous things to take the time to devote attention and consideration to what she thinks and how she feels yeah everything about opie's way of relating to his girlfriend strikes me as weird it's like children playing house they've been together for only nine months she moved in after only three she's now a full-time homemaker while he pays the bills he remodels his house for her and buys her a gift every day but he only talks about what he does for her and his first reaction when she tells him he's being racist is to mention how many gifts he's given her this looks a lot like love bombing and i'd be willing to bet it's going to spectacularly crash and burn posted by user dictionary candy titled am i the a-hole for not giving my friend's dog back unless she pays me for it characters are me my friends camus owner cindy and the dog camu backgrounds a year ago my 30 female friend 30 female was going to europe for a couple of weeks on a vacation she asked me to dog-sit her dog camu who i adored so i said i would do it for free however at the end of the two weeks she called me telling me that she was staying in europe she had met someone there and she wouldn't answer any questions about when she would be back i texted her with questions about what to do with kamu because the food she gave me was almost out i didn't get a reply the story last week cindy came back and said she wanted camus back apparently her boyfriend broke up with her because she cheated so i didn't have much sympathy i told her no the deal was for a couple of weeks and it's been a year and i feel like camo is my dog now we've bonded a lot and she left for a year with no explanation and i had gotten attached to her she threatened to sue me which she can because camo is still legally hers i told her she could have camry back if she paid me for her i calculated the cost of keeping her for a year minus the two weeks at the beginning when i said it would be free the cost of food grooming and vet bills came to about two thousand five hundred dollars but i've also been taking care of her i charged her the pet sitter rates that i've seen but on the lower ends and it came to ten thousand dollars i told her that she could have camu if she gave me the ten thousand dollars i'm not even adding the other two thousand five hundred and now she's calling me an a-hole her lawyer said that they'd see me in court and i've hired a lawyer who said i'm in the clear but now i'm wondering if i'm being an a-hole camu is cindy's dog after all and in the beginning i did say i would pet sit for free reddits am i the a-hole i have no clue about this situation but she is an a-hole for disappearing and not saying anything about the dog she just straight up abandons the dog she's basically in my mind she's signed over any claim that she has to this dog when she abandoned it now she wants it back after a year of abandoning the dog would we say the same about abandoning a kid you know like oh i want my kid back now that i've come back from overseas for a year i see them being similar but not exactly the same but i wouldn't give a dog back if i'd owned it for a year no way you abandoned the poor thing he's got a better family here that won't run away from him so i'm gonna say not the a-hole edits thanks for all the advice i didn't know that there were laws about this i assumed cindy would still be the legal owner as she never signed over the papers not the a-hole that's not pet-sitting she abandoned her dog and you became its caretaker best of luck in court jumping on the top comment is to say not the a-hole but please don't give the dog back to someone who can abandon her so easily i can't imagine just leaving my dogs in a different country if you've bonded with the dog and you've been taking good care of it like it seems then please keep the dog she loved her new guy more than the dog and loved cheating on her new guy more than she loved her new guy so by the transitive property she loved being a dog more than she loved her dog buy enough of a margin to abandon the ladder and not care about what happened to him cindy's not the owner of a dog any longer she's just a dog now not the a-hole i'm no lawyer but regular people logic says she abandon it and you having paid for all of its needs have become the rightful owner not the a-hole i agree and also not a lawyer there must be some time frame for abandonment as op said the dog is legally hers i'm not sure that's the case and she may have given up legal ownership after such a long period of time i believe in the u.s an animal is considered legally abandoned after two to eight weeks depending on the state of no financial support from the owner so after a month or two the dog was no longer considered the friends in the eyes of the law info she threatened to sue me which she can because kamu is legally still hers technically if the original agreement was for two weeks and she ignored your entreaties for a year then no kamu is abandoned property dogs aren't children even though it often feels that way they are legally considered chatel and the same law applies to them as a horse or a pig she surrendered ownership and then she failed to respond to your outreach especially for a year i would try to work this one out equitably and if the issue is money return camu then exercise your right to sue and expect to win for recompensation for the cost of caring for kamu if you were truly bonded with kamu and the money isn't the issue then let the court decide but don't blackmail her it'll distract the ultimate verdict good to know thank you i will look into the laws regarding this for my state updates am i the a-hole for not giving my friend's dog back unless she pays me for it cindy's cousin is her lawyer and he told her that it would take several months until the case would get seen and she responded that that was way too long and i could just keep the damn dog i believe her change of heart was somewhat motivated by the fact she's met a new boyfriend and doesn't really have time to take care of camo anymore but camo was staying with me which is all i wanted thank you guys so much for helping me realize that cindy abandoned camu and to not feel bad about keeping her that's certainly easier than a court case however one make sure you get documentation of the conversation screenshots whatever send an email confirming if it was verbal just confirming that you are relinquishing camus to me two make sure vet records are in your name document all your costs and three change any registrations to your name or get new ones and congratulations camu is a cutie and also get his microchip updated sheesh she sounds like someone who shouldn't get a pet at all since she ditches them every time she finds a man camus sounds like he or she would be much happier and well cared for with you i'm glad this had a happy ending enjoy your official new pet right i can't even imagine our dog has been staying with my in-laws this week their vet is about one-third the cost to get her spayed because they live in a rural area and i'm literally counting down the hours until we go get her on saturday posted by user am i the a-hole will titled would i be the a-hole for sucking up to my racist pos grandpa to get his inheritance my grandpa is a jerk he has a swastika tattoo on his right shoulder he hates my dad because he's not good enough for my mum he's black and because he's a stay-at-home dad he disowned my mum for marrying a monkey the only member of the family he likes is me because i'm his only legitimate heir since i am white i hate my grandpa when i was younger and he used to visit he would always spout some anti-black or anti-jew or anti-mexican propaganda he would also loudly say how much he hated my monkey dad however he is a rich jerk i don't know exactly how much money he has but he lives like a king since he disowned my parents not a cent of the money found its way to us we are poor he just got diagnosed with cancer and he will die in nine months i want to say good riddance and the world is a better place however he announced that he is writing his will and i want to be on it my plan is to visit him in the hospital every day until he dies i will listen to his stupid world views and racist comments i will agree with him and express my own hates this will be a lie of course i will talk bs about white supremacy etc then i'll be in his will and inherit a ton of money which will pay for my college i'll also give some to my parents my mom is all for it but my dad is against it saying that he doesn't want me to be around that pos tell me reddit would i be the a-hole if i sucked up to my asshat grand sperm donor to get into his will edits if i get the money i will give 25 percent to charities 25 to my dad 25 for my mom and 25 to me to help pay for college edits i have white skin so i pass as white i believe that is what my grand sperm donor means personally i don't think you're an a-hole for doing it and putting that money to charity is a very good idea as well as sharing it with your parents who it was never going to go to and i feel like that's ridiculously unfair not the a-hole edits i have taken in your advice and talked to my dad about it more i explained that i only wanted the money to improve our quality of life he's not quite convinced but he's warming up to it especially when he found out that i'd want to find some way to donate some money to charity i've decided that i won't suck up to my grand sperm donor without my dad's blessing and if i get the money we will decide how to use it as a family i'll post an update once we decide what to do not the a-hole go for it and earn some money yeah he's a piece of crap but it's totally worth being around him every now and then for a slice of the pie pulling a con job on a dying racist a-hole for money is totally fair game if he's family go for it especially since op will be giving 25 to charities imagine old gramps spinning in his grave if his money makes it into the naacp or some other charity geared towards helping minorities and or fighting discrimination i mean yes you're the a-hole but please be machiavellian about this get the inheritance and don't pee it away as a final act of revenge donate some money to a couple of charities that help minorities in his name doesn't even have to be a large amount i don't have a judgment on this but i would be careful about your father's feelings he's already had to put up with so much from that man that i imagine watching his son buddy up to the guy and pretend to be racist could be pretty heart-wrenching the money isn't worth it if it hurts someone that you care about but it's just my thoughts this should be higher up what a thoughtful comment i'm all for screwing the older guy over but in the end the people you love are what matters most i wish this was higher up opie your father is probably imagining the things you'll have to say about him or smile and not along to about him he's probably remembering things he's heard your grandfather say and imagining them coming out of your mouth i want you to get that money but i don't think you can do this without your dad's genuine blessing updates would i be the a-hole for sucking up to my racist piece of crap grandpa to get his inheritance thank you so i got a ton of responses from my op most people said not the a-hole or you're the a-hole but justified although i did get a few actual you're the a-holes however you guys also gave me some great information and advice about how to move forwards with this and keep my relationship with my father intact most of which i used and thanks for all of that what i did as suggested the day after i made the post i had a long talk with my dad about how much i loved him and my black heritage i told him that i would share the money i got with both him and my mom as they deserved it as well as use it for uni but i made it clear that i would not move forwards with my plan unless i had his blessing which he gave me as you guys suggested i did not visit my grandpa every day but only one to two times a week as to not arouse suspicion i also tried to steer any conversations i had with him away from racism as that kind of talk could hurt those around me such as the nurses and other patients we instead talked about his life and that was interesting because i can no longer hate him instead i pity him he had a sucky life and it isn't his fault he's a racist that's just how he grew up i learned other stuff about him as well but the main thing i learned was that he wasn't just a racist or a boomer or an a-hole or a rich lonely old man he was insert his name here he was a person and a nice one at that aftermath anyways he died three weeks ago some kind of complication with something i was planning on skipping the funeral but i went anyways it felt wrong to have bonded with him so much and then miss my chance to pay my respects my parents thought i was crazy but they don't understand the will reading was shorter than i expected just some legal he didn't have as much money as i thought he did most of it wasn't liquefied assets or something but i got a house a couple thousand in cash that i can't touch tolem 25 and some valuable stocks and bonds it won't affect my life right now but it will give me a huge boost in the future that's really it i feel like these past three months have been a kind of journey for me seeing inside the head of a racist will have forever changed me and my outlook on life i'm glad that the user sasquatched 8649 suggested that i really talk with him and try to understand him because it did help me a lot that's really it thanks for the help reddit i get it my father-in-law is racist but through genuinely being nice to him and telling him great stories about my friends and co-workers he's becoming more inclusive you see he was the only white kid on his block during the detroit race riots no it doesn't justify racism but it helps to understand why a person thinks the way that they do i've worked with the elderly for a long time and many of them have deep rooted attitudes towards life however more often than not they are willing to make small changes i have seen people come in outright racist and grow to love their caregivers that are people of color it's very hard to return hate with kindness but it can make a world of difference learning why someone is racist can really change your perspective of them it never excuses or justifies racism but it changes how you view that person same with homophobic people i recently saw a comedian who said it perfectly homophobia and i like to think racism as well is a disease not everyone can be quote unquote cured but many can it just takes time and efforts and you need to understand that it's not going to be overnight his example was with his dad his dad was homophobic the horrible verbally hateful kind who used to harm and bully the gay kids when he was young and who still spewed pure hate anytime you mentioned gay people but then one day his brother confided in the comedian that he was gay and terrified to tell their dad he pulled away and put distance between them and the dad could tell something was wrong eventually he did come out to the dead but he didn't take it too well just kind of silently showed him out the door then it took a month of no contact before the dad reached out to him and told him how he did understand it didn't know how or why his son came to be like that but that he loved him more than he hated the gays i think it's been around five to ten years since the brother came out and they've slowly been getting him to use to the lgbt community they know that if they dump everything on him at once or try to force him to accept it that it'll just scare him off he recently met the brother's long-term partner and actually liked him they're currently having discussions about transgender people and the dad is struggling to understand it but the point is that he's trying and getting better not everyone needs to do this for their parents i completely understand that sometimes the damage they've done is 100 irreparable or that you don't have the time and ability to be their teacher but you should understand that for some it's not a choice to hate who they do it's a trauma and disease that they can't get over themselves posted by user importance superb titled would i be the a-hole for not paying for my son's art college i 52 male have one son who's 17 male and one daughter 30 female my daughter graduated from her local university with a master's degree in business and has a small startup that has grown quite tremendously she's engaged and is the major breadwinner in her relationship which makes me quite proud my son on the other hand he's less academically interested throughout high school he wanted to take only art and music courses i didn't allow him to and unfortunately had to resort to the my house my rules however he says now that he's going to uni he doesn't have to listen to me and that he'll move out with one of his friends if i try the my house my rules crap as he calls it he says that he's going to an art uni and that he's already sent out applications to several and gotten offers so i did the only thing i could revoking my offer of paying for his university it breaks my heart but i feel like i have no choice i told my son that either he gets a degree that will enable him to have a good chance at getting a job that he can live off of or he can find some other way to pay my son was understandably ticked when i told him this he called me a crappy father and stormed off to his room before you flood the comments with your the a-hole hear out my reasoning i did the same thing my son wants to do i got an arts degree against the wishes of my parents i was young and excited but it was not to be art and music weren't paying my bills and i got into astronomical debt then i was evicted from my apartment and i was homeless for a year i had to drag myself back to my parents and beg them to pay for me to go to uni again this time to get a business degree i got one graduated again and got an office job and worked hard until i got promotions then i met my late wife and we had the kids so you see i just don't want my son to make the same mistakes i did i want him to be able to hold his head high knowing that he can pay his own way and start a family if he so pleases i don't want to be controlling but he needs to put his head on straight and do what's best for him so reddits am i the a-hole for this edits i never explicitly said i wouldn't pay for an art major but i've told him that his entire life that becoming an artist is a very unstable industry that relies heavily on luck and connections i also never promised that i would pay for his school it was always just assumed edit i have tried compromising he can have an art minor or take private classes so long as he majors in something else he declined you say it was never promised it was always just assumed i guess you haven't really communicated with this guy properly because that would be a huge letdown also knowing that you're gonna start off at a massive disadvantage when there never really seemed to be a problem with it before i've decided to just make this decision now your house your rules with what he does in school but why do you get to decide that now that he wants to go to university people learn from their mistakes and perhaps him going to university to do an arts major isn't a mistake and you're holding him back from doing that just because it failed for you doesn't mean it's going to fail for him per se you holding him back and holding this over his head is an a-whole move so yes you're an a-hole for doing this you're the a-hole you're controlling and it sounds like you've been this way for a long time it doesn't matter that you failed at your art career maybe he'll succeed and maybe he'll fail but being forced to study something that he has no interest in won't help him and having to take on a bunch of debt to follow his dream also won't help him you're in the process of destroying your relationship with your son just because you think your limited life experience makes you the expert on everything i can actually pay his way nearly entirely he'll have very little debt if any yes and a job he hates and resents you for or he'll defy you and go to art school anyway making a huge debt making his dream of succeeding as an artist even harder and making him resent you because you could have easily paid for it i love the end i don't want to be controlling but you are being very controlling you're the a-hole let him pursue his passion if he fails and didn't listen to you then he has to pay his own way if this is how he wants to spend his one free try let him and based on your wording it sounds like you love your daughter more and you show it be careful because you may lose him either way you're the a-hole your experience as a failed artist is worth sharing with him so that he can make an informed decision and of course it's natural that you'd worry he might experience a similar path but there are people who lose a fortune in the business world and that didn't affect your willingness to pay for your daughter's business degree as long as your son understands he gets one chance to spend the money you saved up for his university if he chooses to spend it at art school that's a valid and awesome choice artists rock update would i be the a-hole for not paying for my son's art college the resolution two months ago i came home to my son packing his bags he told me he was going to go live with a friend until uni and he was going to take out loans to pay since i wasn't going to despite my protesting he left last week i got a call from him begging me to take him back his friend's family was moving in with his friend and they no longer had space for my son to make matters worse he hasn't been able to get loans he'd been denied he wouldn't be able to get into the uni of his choice he told me he accepted my terms since he had no other choice seeing him that heartbroken crushed me so i did something i never thought i'd ever do i relented and offered to pay for his art school in full no strings attached he was jubilant all i can say is you were right reddit just because i failed doesn't mean he will he could be better than i was for all i know maybe at his school he'll meet people he can use his contacts and i can try and use my clout to seek out people who can help him i can minimize his costs by letting him stay at home for the first few years after he graduates and if he does fail i can just send him through school again for a different degree thank you reddit i owe you guys opie a bit of advice have him take a few classes in something else as well my mom has her bachelor's in arts and masters in interior design simultaneously it's a good idea for your son to pick some design degree in addition to what as a fallback he also may find that he enjoys whatever it is i always recommend a business minor to go along with arts education it can help with his eventual self-employment as an artist or it can give him something to fall back on if he needs it my daughter is in performing arts and i'm hoping she continues to want a second degree in teaching regardless i think the value of the networking in college meeting those people who can mentor you and your career is truly priceless and makes the arts degree worthwhile this is a great idea as basically being an artist means also running your own business i studied graphic design in college and i really wish even a small part of the course had been about how to work out how much to charge for a freelance job or how to set yourself up as a company i have no interest in going out on my own i actually far prefer being a wage slave but i've done some freelance as well and i've never felt confident when pricing my work this seems like a serious oversight why do college degrees not give you the skills to succeed in the career field they're preparing you for my art school had required classes for every major on the business side of things how to price your work advertise taxes etc i left that class with an entire professional package ready so not all art schools forget this lol posted by user throwaway 206.07090 titled am i the a-hole for asking a friend if her new boyfriend is okay with her weights hi i know how the title sounds but here's the story one of my close friends is a fat woman i think she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out but she does struggle with obesity and losing weight and very serious self-image problems she talks about it with our friend group very frequently and i know her issues with self-image have been quite debilitating in terms of her dating life she's basically never been in a relationship despite being a perfectly lovely smart ambitious and fun person recently though she met a new guy on a dating app and they really hit it off they've been going on dates for about two months now and it seems like things are progressing quite well we couldn't be happier for her because she really deserves it on friday our group of friends went out for some drinks and she was showing us some pictures of him and telling us how she can't wait for us to meet him that's when i blurted out he seems great and he's okay with your weight right the table went dead silent and i realized how rude i sounded i tried to backpedal and explained that i only brought it up because i know how much she struggled she literally talks about it all the time and i wanted to make sure she's with someone who treats her well she started tearing up and another friend said dude that's super screwed up and i tried to say that they're kind of overreacting and that come on we were all thinking about it and just wanted to make sure she feels comfy in the relationship that was friday it's now tuesday i've made several attempts to reach out to my friend and others in the group and they said that they have no interest in talking me for the foreseeable time i'm really sad because these are my core best friends and i'm extremely lonely without them am i the a-hole what can i do edit to add i'm in a small town in new zealand not in the u.s please don't judge me for going to a bar with my friends at this time as there haven't been any active cases in our community since like june you really are slipped up there didn't you that's really not nice to say and then you doubled down at it afterwards after she started tearing up saying come on we're all thinking it we all think you're fat doesn't that make it better don't don't tear up it's gonna be fine we're all judging you here how do you how do you think that's okay to do i don't blame them for ghosting you right now for the foreseeable time it'd be nice for them to throw you a bone later and say hey we can forgive this if you apologize but jesus that was really messed up what you said get a grip with reality opie you're the a-hole he's been dating her for two months obviously he's okay with her weights what you said was crappy and rude and absolutely was not on everyone's minds instead of backpedaling apologize sincerely and with no justifications oh sure look i realized how rude i sounded and then inexplicably decided to double down and be twice as rude to my close friend for no real reason i was just so surprised that overweight people can be found attractive by others isn't that crazy but we're all thinking it i assure you seriously you're the a-hole op that's not what i meant i know her insecurities held her back in the past and i wanted to make sure he sees beyond her insecurities i worded it poorly but my intentions were in the right place intentions don't really matter here you said something extremely rude and hurt your friend because of it your intent might not have been there to do that but that is what you did forget your intention stop trying to backpedal or explain away the cruel thing you said there was no reason to ever bring it up your friend is happy with a seemingly good guy why the f would you ask if he's okay with her weight why wouldn't he be why would you draw attention to her insecurity when she's experiencing something wonderful and wanted to share it with her friends now you just have to sincerely apologize and hope that your friend forgives you for your lapse in judgments your question didn't sound rude it was rude you could have simply asked if he treats her well if you were concerned about the type of guy he was bringing her weight into it is uncalled for you had no reason to believe he's treating her badly because of it so why bring it up because you see her wait and believe any guy would have a problem with it dang seems like opie got jealous and wanted to bring her friend down randomly inserting that comment about her weight is such an a-hole move and i don't blame ropey's friend for wanting to dump her friends should share their friends excitements not bring up their insecurities to make them question themselves endop says again i'm not jealous i have a boyfriend of five years i know how relationships work clearly you don't understand how friendships work though as many are saying you're the a-hole look opie that's great and he's okay with you being incredibly tactless and rude right edits come on we're all thinking it posted by user forensically miffed titled am i the a-hole for sending my mother to prison my mother is in prison for defrauding the government for ten plus years which finally caught up with her about two years ago i was subpoenaed by the court to testify and ended up being the testimonial that ultimately sent her to federal prison she has been in prison for just over a year now as a result we are estranged however i wasn't given much of a choice because my current profession has strict legal requirements that i can't risk bending or i'll lose everything fast forward to this past week my maternal grandfather passed away suddenly from complications from a stroke he had two months ago everyone is sad and devastated and it's been hard to reconcile the loss during covert 19. a lot of prisons will grant furlough for those who wish to attend their loved one's funeral something we already had to do back in february when my grandmother passed away and i was the one who filled up the paperwork and was 100 responsible for my mother during her furlough so once i received the news of my grandfather's passing i started on the paperwork but stopped because it turned out that my grandfather is going straight to cremation without a funeral or service because that is what my grandfather wanted and i told my family that we weren't furlowing my mother outs because of the fact that there is no service or funeral my family understood fast forward to today when my sibling calls me to thank me for furloughing our mum outs shocked and confused i asked the obvious what do you mean turns out as i discovered by calling the prison that my aunt busted my mother out of prison on falsified documents where they forged my signature and gave my contact information and told the prison that there was a funeral and that my mother's presence was required one i live in a separate province two there isn't a funeral or service there is absolutely no reason for her to be outside a prison during a pandemic especially when prisons are covered 19 hot spots so i had to call the police because if caught i could lose my livelihood my license and a career i love after all my mother didn't want to grieve in prison and has zero regards for anyone else's health and well-being i texted everyone in my family to encourage my aunt to take my mother back to prison or i would have no choice but to call the police and charge my auntie with identity theft and have a warrant issued for my mother something i really don't want to do however my family is calling me an insensitive a-hole for not allowing my family to get together to grieve because i can't be there and i'm taking it out on them so i called my aunts directly and recorded the call and told her that if she didn't return my mother to prison by noon tomorrow i would call the police and have them issue a warrant for my mother and have her charged with identity theft am i the a-hole for not allowing my family to use me to basically prison break my mother i just don't get how they think they can get away with this one like yeah let's just break her out of jail and pretend this is a cool and good thing to do right haha this won't land me in trouble for identity theft don't even need to use my brain they they definitely wouldn't rat me out after they had to send their mother to jail i'm just really smart i'm trying to think of ways that opie would be the a-hole but the alternative here is that they get in trouble for allowing identity theft to occur and so they're on the line as well and regardless the aunt and the mother get punished as well as op or they don't all get found out and then it sets a precedent for opie allowing them to abuse opie's identity there's no winning in this situation so honestly opi you're giving them more than they deserve as miley cyrus once said you get the best of both worlds i'm not singing it they get the mother until noon tomorrow and no one gets in trouble i see it as a win but yeah not the a-hole edits no funeral i double-checked with grandfather's partner edit 2 called police police confirm i will not face legal repercussions as i am a victim updates spoke to my lawyer and asked how it was possible for my aunts to pick up my mother from prison turns out due to pandemic visitors are a no-no in my case inmates who have furloughed go through all the steps to leave but the family members are outside waiting and on a page i did not see originally they had my aunt's address as a potential address for my mother to stay but it was put as a secondary not a primary so i guess the ball was severely dropped but i won't have definitive answers to my call on monday edit two yo please stop assuming that my brother is going to prison he is a lot of things but he wouldn't help my mother or aunt with this jailbreak if anything he's a grief-stricken victim who just wanted to see his mum for the first time since the pandemic and be sad about our grandfather who is currently also being an a-hole because he feels i should let them all grieve it's a screwed up situation but my brother did nothing illegal calm down update three my brother is a miner 14 years old y'all so no he couldn't follow our mother out so please stop asking that also i do not hate my mother my mother gave me up when i was 11 years old but kept my other siblings and had more like re-homed me to another family without getting the province involved she had no parental rights to me because she signed them away to this family during that time while i was not in her custody she continued to gather government benefits claiming i was still with her benefits she claimed were way beyond your basic child benefits but other government money she was not entitled to i couldn't be as detailed as i wanted because of the character limit of three thousands it all came crashing down about three years ago when she was arrested for fraud beyond five thousand dollars and then i was being investigated because of my mother's bs despite the fact i wasn't even aware of any of this context i reconnected with my grandfather when i was in university and we were very close all of my siblings were told to testify i didn't want to because i didn't want to be involved i told the prosecution this so they subpoenaed me no i cannot plead the fifth that doesn't work here secondly after many conversations i had with my own legal representation at the time it was best that i testified so i did and during that time her violent history was brought up so y'all keep claiming she's a non-violent person it's incorrect she just got caught with a non-violent crime which is actually violent because cases like this make it harder for people to collect benefits they are entitled to not to mention she has a history of fraud that started with my grandmother her own mother and my grandfather who by the way also testified against her trust me nobody wanted to be involved in sending her to prison all of this history led to her being sentenced to five years which meant she ended up in federal prison because provincial prison is for sentences of two years in dunder federal is two years or more i don't even call her mum anymore but did so in this post because of anonymity and simplicity why i bring up the pandemic is because we're actively still living in a pandemic regardless of what stages of reopening we're in she's not been tested for it and prisons are currently pandemic hot spots so yes i don't want her around my immuno-compromised family members which by the way includes my aunt who is battling breast cancer i don't want people to die of it or even have it she can grieve like everyone else is at home but her home just happens to be a prison that's so grim i told all of this to the warden of the prison my mother is at while also on the phone with the detective i spoke to yesterday and my lawyer two investigations are now happening who authorized my mother's furlough at the prison and my aunt's identity theft which i'll probably take a restorative justice path to and whatever else the crown decides to charge her with i posted this for reassurance because my grief and helplessness weren't offering me the ability to look at this objectively so thank you to everyone who said not the a-hole all of you who claimed you're the a-hole you're some serious trolls damn that was really long but i'm glad we all came together in the end i hope you enjoyed that long series of a post but unfortunately we're moving on now that was way too long posted by user throw throwaway 4829214 titled would i be the a-hole for asking my maid of honor to wear a dress at my wedding i recently got engaged yay and picked out my bridesmaids and everything i chose my maid of honor to be my short time but amazing friend g then i have my fiance's sister-in-law and my long-time best friend she doesn't have the time to be too involved in planning and was okay with not being made of honor i made an appointment a few weeks ago at a bridal shop for the bridesmaids and diet to try on dresses on the 12th of september i made sure everyone was okay with the date and time before booking on monday she decided to shave her head i was so happy for her and she honestly looks amazing i then saw on a snapchat post that she started binding i'm not sure if she wants to be trans or nb she's never mentioned wanting to do any of that and has gone by she slash her since i've known her i messaged all the bridesmaids to confirm and remind them of the date and time since i want to give them plenty of time to find a dress they like they can get whatever style they feel suits them as long as it's a long dress and the same color gee was the only one that didn't respond but i saw that she opened my message i really want the bridesmaids to look similar while giving them the freedom to do their hair and makeup however they want and pick their own dress they like for their bodies i'm kind of nervous that she might ask to wear a tux or might drop out she's been extremely supportive and involved up until about a week ago while i'm normally extremely supportive i don't really want my maid of honor to look that different from the rest of the bridal party would i be the a-hole for asking about it and telling her i really prefer her to wear a dress for the wedding if it comes up i think he would be the a-hole for this if she didn't want to wear a dress if you prefer that she wears a dress and she's not comfortable with wearing a dress that's completely fine on her end i think you really have to tread lightly in this territory and be as respectful as possible about this op i advise you not to be aggressive when dealing with this matter and definitely show them all the support you've been sharing with them through this short time that you've known them as best friends but i'm gonna say for this instance right now you're the a-hole updates i took into consideration all of the comments i've read so far i messaged them and asked if they were doing okay they said yeah it's just been a really rough work week i said that i saw them start binding and asked if they were transitioning or non-binary they're non-binary i showed my supports and asked what pronouns they'd prefer they and them now and said that they've been thinking about it for years and finally had the guts to do it i mentioned if i ever slipped up and said she slash her to correct me although i'll try my hardest i know i'm bound to slip up a couple of times until i'm used to it because i've used she and her for so long and they said it's completely okay for me to still use she but i want to show support and use the pronouns they prefer then i asked if they wanted to still wear a dress or if they had other ideas what they would be comfortable to wear and they said address and even sent me pics of what they'd feel comfortable in i love them very cute and will completely fly to their body in the best way they said that even though they're non-binary they still like to wear dresses and girly clothes half the time and you really want to dress up for the wedding and even thought about a wig for an extra dramatic look if i was okay with it i definitely am but i still loved their shaved head and want to see what cute looks they can do with it too i'm kind of sad that they didn't come to me sooner but they said they were just nervous about coming out since it's still so new to them and they come from a very christian family everything's okay and we're now talking about name changes i did bring up the talks and they said they wouldn't be comfortable in that for a wedding but i thought they're always welcome to change their mind if they find one that matches your edit made me so happy opie you're awesome and clearly do walk the walk regarding respecting your friends choices thank you for the update i'm going to go with no a-holes here it's your wedding and it's reasonable to ask your maid of honor to wear a dress but the other person wouldn't be an a-hole for saying no i was about to say you're the a-hole because it seemed like you cared more about the idea of them looking the same more than checking on what your friend would be comfortable wearing to answer your specific question if you were just going to say how about a dress smiley face then you're the a-hole your update shows that you handled it well though no a-holes here just reading your edits i really don't think there are any a-holes to be found i'm glad you both were able to figure it out and congrats on the wedding i hope it all goes well posted by user throwaway 034170 titled am i the a-hole for making my fiancee choose between me and her son this sounds terrible but please let me explain i 36 male have been dating my fiance 38 female for two years and we're planning on getting married at the end of december she has a 12 year old son who can't even stand the side of me his mom has full custody and is currently banning his grandmother ex-husband's mother from seeing him he hid important work documents that took months of work which affected my colleagues as well and he had access to my passports and destroyed it he broke my late son scooter which i gifted to him on his birthday he knew how much it meant to me but he did it on purpose he also constantly breaks new stuff i bring to the house just because he knew i bought it now he's doing the same with my medication i have anxiety issues and ptsd that got worse when my son died i'm dealing with so much right now and i'm finding it so hard to keep myself calm and healthy especially after i came home to find my medication all over the bathroom i told my wife it's either me or him she said i should listen to myself because i sounded ridiculous i can't believe she said that after being together for years she argued with me and said i was crazy to ask her that even though she saw how that affected my health i've lost weight have no appetite nor the desire to go through with a wedding because i know i'll end up with severe depression that can't be dealt with she still claims that i was in the wrong and is waiting for me to apologize for what i said while she refuses to see what her son did this is like watching a house fire just get bigger and bigger and bigger opie i really don't think you should be with these two i think you need to go and get some serious help you just keep dropping bombshell after bombshell in this explanation you just casually mentioned your ptsd that got worse when your son died and that's the first time we're hearing of it you were right at the start of this this does sound terrible please get help you're the a-hole for asking her to part with her son for sure but i think the more serious matter is you need help buddy you're the a-hole um yeah you do sound ridiculous when you suggest your partner give up her 12 year old son he's a human being not a pet gerbil that can be re-homed it sounds like he very much needs mental health help that he isn't getting and you and your fiance need to take responsibility for that but if you don't want to deal with him anymore your only option is to leave if i were your fiance i would have ended our relationship at the very suggestion that you made also get a padlock for your work stuff and your medication it's not rocket science isn't it kind of amazing how opie can't believe she said that after being together for years when she's been in her son's life for 12 years their relationship predates op so by his logic wouldn't it make sense that she chooses her son over him i mean you realize that she can't just abandon her son right what would she do drop him off at a fire station you just need to leave you can't demand to get rid of her son she needs to take her son to therapy everyone sucks here the son needs help but i don't think it's in everyone's sexier and more of a you're the a-hole op has come to the seemingly reasonable conclusion that he can't live with this child what op doesn't seem to understand is that there is only one way forward from this conclusion which is to move out period the sun isn't going anywhere for the next six years at least edit you're really getting really wound up about what you think of the mum who might be failing at parenting and losing the clear statement that opie wants his fiancee to kick out a 12 year old child some of you really need help if you think that's cool posted by user inappropriate gay titled am i the a-hole for making a gay sex jerk hey people i think this is the right sub for this so let's get started on the story and y'all can judge me my male 22 friends and i were at a friend's house the friend's name is jacques he's male 23 and we were drinking and chilling in a responsible manner of course i'm gay and have been out for over a year now while we're drinking jacques makes a comment and i turn it into a sex joke because why not the atmosphere had been pretty light-hearted everyone was effing around and all was okay everyone freezes jacques asks me what the f do you mean by that we so i explain and he looks visibly uncomfortable and tells me that i'm not funny and that gay men shouldn't make these sort of jokes around straight people because it was essentially me hitting on him and like two other of my friends agree the atmosphere doesn't go quite back to normal and jacques moves further from me after calling me an unbelievable a-hole and so i make an excuse and bounce razer my best friend who's gay and has been out for longer than i have thinks that they are overly sensitive and he followed me immediately when i left and said some choice words about jacques and the two friends who defended him i don't know how to feel when i was younger i had issues with boundaries so maybe i did transgress some and xhaka told me that unless i apologize for making him uncomfortable i'm not welcome in so what do you all think am i the a-hole for making a gay sex joke around a group of mostly straight people edits he said bottoms up and i stood up it's a good one i like it edit two over three thousand people now know i'm a bottom thank you reddit and edit three to clarify something i wasn't the first person who made a sex joke others were made how do you take that as hitting on him i genuinely don't understand unless he started giving you the sex eyes and winky one two three get on me because i'm the bottom i really don't see how you put one and zero together here and to make three op really doesn't make sense to me sorry i meant the friend not op so in conclusion you're not the a-hole for making the gay sex joke he's just being sensitive that's all it is not the a-hole once i saw what the joke was that is incredibly tame and their reaction is a bit homophobic i'd say more than a bit and especially if jacques is still holding firm on this and not dropping the issue which shouldn't have been an issue to begin with i guess he just assumes that every gay guy wants to be with him or something not the a-hole the joke you made is obviously about you not him and that in no way is hitting on him so he's definitely being an a-hole and a lot homophobic that joke is not even a joke that applies only to gay people also what weird reasoning he gives for taking offense is every sex joke his friend makes an attempt to hit on any woman around him presuming he's straight i'm betting not those friends are being straight up homophobic yes and that's exactly why he's offended homophobic men are afraid that gay men will hit on them the way that they hit on women posted by user nervouscrab6251 titled am i the a-hole for replacing room keys for two dollars to avoid a 250 fee in our housing units so i live in a housing unit dorm just outside of our college it's not affiliated and is run by a third-party company it's a bit average but it's a nice place to live and is a bit cheaper than living on campus the problem is our room keys we use cards with magnetic strips on the back like you would find in a motel most of these cards are between three and six years old and in terrible condition when you move in you get given cards from the last people in that room and if you're lucky you have minimal problems but this is the minority more than the majority if you want a replacement card for any reason you are charged 250 dollars lost damaged or just not working it's 250 dollars most people just make sure they come and go during office hours so the ra can let them in if their card doesn't work or people just share within a room as they might have one working card between four people this doesn't really work for me because i work until 4am most nights so if my card doesn't work i have to sleep in my car until someone can let me into the building at 8am recently my card stopped working all together it wouldn't swipe in at all the office staff told me it would be 250 bucks despite the card being around since the beginning of time which is clear because you can't even read the name of the company that was once printed on it no exceptions now this sucks because i like most people here don't just have a spare 250 bucks for a card so i did a bit of research a card with a mag strip doesn't have a lot of security on it so i purchased an 85 slash rider from amazon and had it sent to me overnight the next day i borrowed a roommate's card and cloned it onto a new blank card the machine came with 20 and it worked amazingly problem solved of course my roommates heard about this so i cloned all of their broken worn cards onto new ones and we just threw the old ones out into the office dropbox this spread like wildfire and when everyone started coming back after the pandemic restrictions i was the go-to person for card replacements i charged two people dollars for the card one dollar to help me pay off the machine and one dollar for the blank card and then just threw the damage cards in the office dropbox as well the building administration caught on after i had done about 50 cards and asked to speak with me they gave me a massive lecture on how i was depriving them of much needed income during a pandemic and that it was a security issue that i was cloning cards and said i need to stop what i was doing and they will be the only people who can provide cards i thought i was doing something good and helping people who couldn't afford the replacements but the lecture the administrators gave me got me thinking that i may be the a-hole as they're pretty good to us otherwise there is no universe you can convince me that two hundred dollars for a piece of plastic with a magnetic strip in it is a reasonable and justifiable price oh no we couldn't scam twelve thousand five hundred dollars off these people just to replace their cards god you're the modern day robin hood robbing us blind opie we hate you i can completely see where they're coming from with the security issue about cloning cards but it's completely not justifiable to be charging as much as they are and it was inevitable that something like this was going to come up it just so happened that it came up now and dopey is getting dealt with maybe they should lower their prices but for that you're not the a-hole op they're the a-holes here the fact they're not replacing cards at the beginning of the lease and using card replacement as a form of income shows you were not the a-hole if they replaced the cards at the beginning of the lease and then had the replacement charge as a way to discourage loss or theft then you would have been the a-hole yeah for me it's definitely that they don't give new keys at the beginning of a new lease that's pretty screwed even hotels give you a new key basically every time not really we reuse key cards but we also don't charge 250 to replace them either hotels won't give you a key card that is not in like new condition op is not the a-hole landlord is that and you can get a replacement just by asking the front desk takes a few seconds and is completely free 250 bucks is rubbery for magnetic cards i'm no lawyer but that doesn't even sound legal cards like that are supposed to be disposable and easily replaceable you put it next to your phone bam dead next to a magnet in your wallets boom dead not the a-hole and you need to look into that more you're still paying rent rights then they are making money pandemic my ass my apartment complex uses them as we have a gate that you have to use the card to get into after hours plus you have to use it for the pool exercise room and they only charge you 10 bucks if you lose the card if it quits working they replace it for free posted by user throwaway 636 636-38 blue titled am i the a-hole for kicking my mother out of my recently inherited house after she called me disgusting for a little background i inherited a small house from my late aunt last month after she passed away i started living there about three months ago after i recently turned 18 and started college my mother thought that it was a good idea to live with me to take care of me since i just broke up with my girlfriend and i'm still studying since she cooked for me it worked out fine however i have a habit of sleeping naked at night she noticed this after she entered my room once and called me disgusting if i were a boy i can understand that it would make her uncomfortable but i'm a woman too i just shrugged off the comments but she made a habit of calling my body gross and that no man will ever want an exhibitionist which is funny since i'm a lesbian she enters my room just to tell me i'm disgusting she even makes gagging sounds for the record i only go naked right after showering at night then head straight in my room to sleep after about a week of unbearable comments i told her to pack up and leave now my elder brother won't stop bothering me telling me that i'm a huge a-hole and stuff like that i'm sorry what she continually goes in to comment on your body while she knows that you're in there naked sleeping i think she's the one with the problem here if she's gonna continue to invade your privacy in your own home when she's a guest living for free what i really just can't comprehend why she continues to do this she's got some serious screws loose and good on you for kicking her out there's a lot of people that would try to work those things out but you just went straight for the jugular and got that pathetic toxic woman straight out of your life i wouldn't be inclined to call her that if she had apologized or showed remorse but at this point she's not showing any of those so i have no qualms about calling her that keep doing uop um screw the elderly brother for agreeing with her you're not the a-hole in this situation not the a-hole it's your house not your mother's house you deserve to feel at home there and i don't understand her issue with being naked i also wouldn't understand it if you were a guy exactly the mother is toxic and creepy she's purposely walking into the room just to body shame opie not the a-hole it's so bizarre to me that a mother would find their own child's body disgusting at any age she presumably saw op naked a million times when they were little wait is mum a never nude do i dare ask what a never nude is do they bathe with their clothes on it's a joke from the tv series arrested developments one character identifies as a never nude and yes he showers in jean shorts not the a-hole sleeping naked is very good for the quality of sleep and to let your delicate areas breathe ask your mother why she's so interested in watching you naked if that disgusts her you know by not entering your private room while she knows you're naked call her peeping tam and see if she persists not the a-hole she doesn't need to enter your room if she doesn't want to see your gross body don't think i need to mention the common sense thing like your body your house your life and so on just in time to end this toxic behavior your older brother should take her winky face maybe that's the reason the brother is complaining he's the one that has to live with this woman and wants opie to take her back okay and i think that's where we're gonna end today's episode guys as always i do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learn something from these stories just want to say a quick shout out to my patreon subscribers and my channel members you guys should be on the screen right now if you do see yourself i want you to give yourself a little pat on the back for being amazing and supporting me on this channel this uh little journey we're going on on the youtubes i really appreciate it and you guys enabled me to do all this amazing work so if you do see yourself i love your face and i'm happy to see you also guys if you want to pitch in your own support you don't have to but channel links are down in the description below to support the patreon the channel membership whatever you want to do it's kind of like tipping me if you feel like i'm doing a good job on this channel i will be opening up avenues for content on those in the future just right now i'm kind of bogged down and stuck in ireland but you know it is what it is anyway guys with that said i do hope you have a wonderful day today whatever you're up to i'd love to know down in the comments below i do hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to today tell me and i'll see you in the next episode guys bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 43,027

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: u7ug5oawlsw

Length: 118min 14sec (7094 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 24 2020