People Died Laughing, When Random Strangers Said This - R.I.P.! (Funny Askreddit Stories)

rajat what's the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside I was at a 50th wedding anniversary party and there were lots of elderly people in attendance an old man was standing next me and said it looks like a freaking graveyard in here I literally spit my beer out we were outdoors the kicker was the guy was close to the same age as everyone else when I was around 10 my dad took my brother and me to a Sox game at Fenway we get to the park and I was putting mustard on a hot dog from one of those mustard box push down nozzle things this random guy next to me goes yeah buddy lather that me up 10-year old me thought it was about the funniest thing I'd ever heard and I still chuckle when I think about it as an adult I love random hype guys always turns out to be a fun story as long as the guy isn't totally insane once had a guy walk past me point at my shoes and say I have those shoes only mine are completely different and he just kept on walking oh my gosh I think I met the same guy except they didn't say that and it wasn't a guy I was in a large college seminar so I never knew the people that I was sitting next to this professor was known for being a bit of a Willie constantly switching up assignments due dates and tacking on extra work and/or additional materials at upcoming exams last-minute professor did something dickish like the above and murmurs of disapproval annoyance spread through the aisles the dudes next to me leans into my chair and says to me this is a load of barnacles in the same voice as the fish guy from SpongeBob that says the line it was just perfect and unexpected that sounds like best friend material to me watched a guy walking to class at my college years ago saying get the Frick out of my way to a pigeon standing in his path the pigeon quickly waddled off to the side little girl to me after I explained my service dog helps me when I'm sick oh so he's your dog tore me trying to keep a straight face yes exactly that's adorable something I overheard as two kids walked past our caravan park site a rumbling boom a distant Thunder kid one I like Thunder it sounds like a 200 year old dog who's retired and helps old people who are blind to get around kid - silence kid 1 you know kid - but why is it retired kid 1 because it's old kid 2 but it's still helping blind people kid 1 silence freaking kids are so goddamn rational about the most absurd things I love it just the other day checking out at the Cracker Barrel the older gentleman ringing my wife up accidentally said with all confidence have a thank you speaking of wives and Cracker Barrel years ago when clearing up for movie tickets with my family the attendant asked the ages of our four kids to see if they could all get children price tickets I announced their ages 7 9 11 and 13 without missing a beat the stranger behind us declared that's an odd group they'll even out next year I was rollerblading down a hill too fast and landed on my ass painful sure but not excruciating ly so an old man walked by and said in the most jolly voice is your behind ok young lady I was shaking of laughter my behind was ok yes I had to reread this because I seriously read it as I was rollerblading down a hill too fast and my landlord was on my ass painful sure but not excruciating ly so good story though an old man on the street with a big jack-o'-lantern grin on his face and two chihuahuas under each arm loudly proclaiming to no one in particular I used to carry grenades now I carry dogs a significant upgrade of course I was doing tech support over the phone for an Internet company at a call center I got a call from an elderly woman because her internet stopped working after checking remotely that the modem was working in lab there was no issues on her area I was shared Yuling a visit from one of our technician when she suddenly says oh I know what happened the cat was playing around the router yesterday right you think it took a cable or something no he probably took away the Wi-Fi you mean like he moved the router no no he probably took the airwaves or the Wi-Fi you know how cats see things we can't he surely say the Wi-Fi signal grabbed it and took it away it took all my willpower to not laugh in her face and finish the call I mean you can't blame the cat it gets batted by those bloody Wi-Fi airwaves all day and probably misses having peace and quiet in the house I have a five and a half pound chihuahua he's about as intimidating as a bunny rabbit I was walking him on the grass along the road a couple at walkers were coming near me and my dog started barking at them so I picked him up the guy says thank you for picking him up we were really scared at first I read it as I am a five and a half pound show are were and I was really confused there for a second man I respect women I would never ever hit a woman but I'd cut a B up homeless man I ain't gay I'd never let a man blow me but I'd blow him for money same homeless man he's my hero I'll do anything homeless man I'm in the bathroom at work washing my hands and one of the professor's that I don't think I've ever actually spoken to comes in and starts washing her lanyard in the sink I try to make small talk with work people even though I suck at it so I try to strike up a conversation that goes down as follows morning I spilled coffee on my lanyard and now it's all sticky blah that's the worst at this point she turns off the faucet and looks at me completely deadpan with eyes that said she wanted to feed me my onanism said I think genocide is worse so I awkwardly mumble them ekb aha Venus day and quickly escaped it's turned into a running joke in my office now go anything from the printer being out of toner to a fire drill on a cold day is literally worse than genocide it would have been funny a few paused for a moment of thought and said no sticky lanyards are still the worst I ytf used to work at a public library a black guy asked if we had Diary of a Wimpy white boy aka Diary of a Wimpy Kid racial tensions were high in this neighborhood so it felt extra good to laugh with him are working in a place where racial tension is high is always fun a subway restaurant worker in the hood no so much said to me as overheard walking down the street with my fiance after dinner a man and woman pass us very clearly I heard the man say dirt and that's the second time I got crabs I just keep a special little comb at the house now just in case I'm not sure of any particulars and have thought about that interaction often so many questions I know they heard me laugh though I was at a gas station filling my truck with gas and overheard a guy yelling at his dog to move over in the car so his wife could get and it went like this man to dog come on get in the middle so mommy can get in dog starts yapping back at him as if she's arguing man to dog quit arguing me I told you to get in the middle you don't always get your way dog again yipping back at him man to dog if I have to tell you again you're not getting your jerk he holds up a stick of beef jerky dog yipping while reluctantly moving to the middle man to dog AK a promise no more arguing me and he'll be a good girl dog yipping again man to dog a case heal it with a kiss dog gives man kiss crap had me dying this is amazing someone called me said piece off pizza in a Mexican accent and hung up I think what was said was already mentioned it was probably Pizza Pizza like the Little Caesars slogan either way it's hilarious I find young gentleman was once introduced to me as big DK Kyle a boy at my high school was known as the tripod he had has three testicles and everyone who wanted to had seen them I was grocery shopping yesterday a what seemed to be single mum judging by the stressed-out behavior was there with her two girls both aged between five and eight the girls were really enjoying shopping touching every item speaking to every employee and customer goofing around really hard their mom kept telling them to stop and apologize every minute to somebody getting even more stressed I passed by the girls the older one played which using a flashlight that was on display working spells on anyone nearby so she put a spell on me to making me a giant I am 2:08 m2 all weighing 150 kilograms she yelled mum look it worked I made him big I was already laughing what really made me die laughing inside was when mum ultimately stressed apologized on autopilot while doing the shopping looked up and I saw her face trying to look sincere while hiding her laughter six feet nine and 330 pounds for us Americans reading unless I got my converting wrong I was cosplaying as the eleventh Doctor at a Renaissance Festival this troupe of dancers glided past me and greeted me as the good physician idk why but just how in character they were made me laugh so hard internally edit no it's not a reference to the good doctor yes it is a reference to Doctor Who what the heck happened to this thread didn't tell me straight but only overheard so this guy was talking to his phone and IDK why but his face looked so serious and he was almost red as tomato anger the phone was on that speaker mode i forgot what to call the thingie when you call someone and he in the one he's talking to was arguing over that green guy who owned a swamp and has a donkey friend and the guy on his phone was saying its name was Shrek and he was saying it was called a smurf they were screaming to each other and people just ignore them and get confused I'm picturing a train full of people trying very hard to ignore two grown men in a shouting match on speakerphone over whether it's Shrek or Smurfs while you quietly stifle giggles you just made my day you have been visited by the juicy popper of tasty fruits comment stay juicy popper and all your fruit will stay juicy I hope you enjoyed the video and did not die from laughing if you did r.i.p if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 201,711

Rating: 4.8852978 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit stories, r/, r\, top posts, stories, funny, reddit funny, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, brainy memes, brainydude, comment awards, comedy, reddit stories 2019, best of reddit, funniest things random strangers said, hilarious, random stranger, died laughing, reddit jokes, one liners, jokes compilation, humor, random encounters, just ask reddit, funniest posts, funniest strangers, funny quotes, askreddit jokes

Id: cLA1XZpDrXk

Length: 11min 7sec (667 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 25 2019