Most Shocking Thing, the 'Quiet Kid' in Class Has Said? (Funny Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

what was the most shocking thing you heard the quiet kid say in class he asked the woman teacher if he could go to the toilet she sternly replied you've got two minutes Richard and Richard says two minutes it takes me that long to unravel it teacher goes read and everyone loses it that kid is an absolute legend Richard for president this dauch of a kid who constantly flicked with people was in line with the quiet kid in the quiet kids friend the quiet kid is a bit overweight so when he gets up to the lunch lady and gets his chicken nuggets the DAO a bag says you don't want extra nuggets big guy the quiet kid out of nowhere just starts ranting no I am all set but what are you up to this weekend you wanna hang out grab some food maybe frick a bit I like to be on top and you look like a bottom what do you say one Afric tonight the entire line is dead silent the Dow a bag starts getting all P off and acting like he's gonna start a fight and the choir kid says okay fine you can be top baby but the dauch bag kid leads to the entire line laughing their asses off at his expense no idea if the quiet kid was Gayle he just knew that even jokingly suggesting the douche kid was a homosexual would upset him more than anything but I do know he left the line with his delicious chicken nuggets and a huge smile on his face freaking Trevor Phillips right there we were having a bulls elective course and we ran out of stuff to do so we wound up having story time my friend walks up to the front and starts telling us about how he once got pretty badly injured it basically he was walking into his friend's house slipped on some black ice faso planted on it in his front teeth tore off most of his front lip and broke off he ran into the house babbling and bleeding he was like 11 and was missing part of his face so he wasn't 100% coherent at a time and his friend's mom takes one look runs into her bedroom locks the door and doesn't do anything until my friend's dad arrives and starts screaming at her my friend says he still has no idea why the grown adult woman couldn't handle the situation any better and we all start making guesses and bulls psychoanalysis cue the quiet kid raising his magnificent head and blessing us with enlightenment maybe she just needed to finger herself real quick so this one kid who barely ever said two words one day asks the teacher for the time it was at some after-school thing and there was no clock the teacher says the classic time for you to get a watch which for some reason was funny to everyone else the quiet kid doesn't laugh he looks the teacher dead in the eyes and once everyone quieted down he says so are you gonna tell me the frickin time or what we were in like seventh grade can't blame him can't tell you how many times I've heard that stupid joke in class we were studying genetics and one guy was being a real douche and the teacher couldn't get him to shut up but then after discussing inbreeding and dogs one quiet kid raises his hand and says so is this likely how Peter douche became so frickin [ __ ] I've got a friend like this I relate him to a sniper rifle he doesn't make comments like that often maybe once every month or two but every one of them is goddamn glorious it's an art most people would then try to carpet-bomb the conversation with forced jokes trying to get the same response what if we killed everyone with cancer to stop it from spreading quiet guy I work with never said much until he came up to me and asked what happens when an Eskimo comes before I get the chance to respond he throws a handful of ice at me and walks away in junior high in the mid 80s the game Trivial Pursuit was all the rage we played it in math class one day and this kid Gary who never said anything at all totally spanked everyone else by answering every single sports related trivia question he got a lot of attention for it and I believe he walked a little taller after that day I don't think I ever heard him say anything else but I did see him sitting on the bleachers at a few sports events it was the moobs at school having just shown me the scope for her supposedly Hayes sniper rifle if the fire alarm ever goes off and you can't find me don't use the doors as an exit well he was nice enough to warn you the quiet kid from my grade stood up one day grabbed the broom stood on a chair and began trying to swat bees that got inside one bee landed on the window where quiet kid proceeded to yell die be die and then swatted and shattered the window he screeched when it happened and then sat back down never heard him speak again that man is going to Valhalla after it be related incident one of my students hardly said a word all year until a couple weeks ago I was trying to get a group of talkative ones under control and she had enough she yells out shut the Frick up I am trying to work you freakin buttholes awkward silence followed because I didn't know how to handle the normally studious and quiet one losing it I was like this in middle school not exactly quiet but I never really socialized except with people right beside me in the form of asking for a pencil one day the classroom douche happened to be more douche why than I could stand for and I stood up out of my seat and yelled at him and sat back down the entire class fell silent but he never got that douche way again I was best friends with the choir kid in middle school it wasn't so much shocking is the stupidest thing I've heard him say he got this thousand-yard stare all of a sudden and just said I can't remember what color my dog is similar to a friend of mine the thing about drain is that it makes mud my dad is very quiet to the point that it makes most people uncomfortable even me sometimes one day we're at the park and a woman walks past us and my dad quickly says what if I punch that woman and the face and said sorry I thought you were my wife that's my kind of humor giving a presentation in class pulled out a screwdriver and said I could kill you you you you and you right now if I remember correctly it was on safety but he still got suspended in high school there was this really quiet girl named Grace she was a pleasant person but wouldn't say are nothing more than heil sorry unless you asked her something even then she'd appear terrified it was at prom and I was in the parking lot of the venue we had promised I lost a contact and had to run to my car to grab my glasses in the parking lot grace was smiling and walking from her car she looks at me laughed and said Ryan her prom date just fingered the Frick out of me I still laugh about it to this day he started to attack someone in my class with a table when the teacher got a cup of coffee that was quite something I was in marching band NHS probably seven years ago now and we had this huge muscular guy as our brass instructor he would always yell at us to nail these cords or you're not playing loud enough there was this little Asian trumpet kid that was so innocent and nice he barely ever spoke a word one really really hot afternoon our instructor was being especially loud and said why don't the trumpets blow hard enough dead silence across the field as all the brass are waiting for next instructions then we hear why doesn't your mum blow this Willie hard enough from quiet trumpet kid needless to say we all laughed got push-ups and laughed some more wow literally this question came at a perfect time I was just thinking about this and it was by far in sophomore year of high school this kid was so odd that honestly no one ever really noticed him but one day he's sitting across from me at a table and he sees this one girl in really tight shorts and goes goddamn I could have my head up her ass for months it was pretty shocking dude could have worn a like a hat in college our fraternity had a pledge who was clearly awkward with girls but was otherwise a real cool guy abnormally dang was super proper and a bit shy when talking to girls but not this night on this night Wendell and was asked about what kind of girl he wanted to date he told our sweetheart the kind of girl who loves to have her pee crushed I'm not sure if Dan ever crushed any pee but that line became a staple in our flat for a while I went to middle school and high school with this boy named Daniel never once heard him say a word a friend of mine said he would whisper sometimes the night of our senior party we heard some music coming over from the corner where the karaoke machine was set up at first no one really noticed him because people had been singing on it all night and most people stopped paying attention but this was different cause no one was singing in the music was playing the DJ stopped the music and started the song again Daniel was standing there looking frightened but this time around when the song started he begin to sing everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and just crowded around him he wasn't a great singer by any means but 99% of the people in the room hadn't ever heard him talk when the song was over everyone started clapping and cheering and he walked away with a big smile on his face in kindergarten there was this kid donnatal and he never said a word he was nice enough played games and everything but completely silent one day we were looking out the classroom window as a cop drove by Donatello opens his mouth and says police car at the time we were all excited to hear him speak but looking back the kid must have had some real dark history living in a sewer with three brothers and a talking rat who forces you to do karate all day does that to you in high school I had first level Spanish with this kid who was super quiet at the end of the year we all had to give a speech in Spanish in front of the entire class this mother stood up and gave a speech not in Spanish but in a language that he had spent the entire year inventing kid I've never heard you say anything loudly you need to shout something out quiet kid what kid shout something in the middle of a classroom a full blow high-pitched roar is heard quiet kid Christmas it was a Muslim kid who didn't even celebrate Christmas what a dude man Christmas sucked for Muslim kids at school teacher would usually bring little gifts get super paranoid that I'd be offended and hastened to find something religiously and useful as opposed to the gift everyone else got Frick kaleidoscopes playing rugby HF fails completely at lineout someone shouts jokingly does anyone know any good aid sure to replace Patrick quietest guy on the team never hear him say anything maybe Patrick's mom can help proceed to fall on floor or man HR jokes I miss rugby so this isn't so much what he said the seniors played Locker pinball with the underclassmen it's exactly what it sounds like they bounced one little guy constantly made him late for class a lot because they'd keep him bouncing so long well one day they were bouncing him and he's super politely said please stop you're hurting me obviously the seniors bounced him harder apparently that was this kids breaking point because he lept on to the nearest senior we just happened to be our star basketball forward the little freshman bit into the seniors neck and literally tore a mouthful of skin off he just stood there with this piece of bloody skin on his shirt growling at everyone needless to say no one ever freaked with Mad Dog Mike after that hooli crap my butt hole is this big while making a circle with her fingers edit lots have asked how big it was it was probably the size of a euro not too big not too small just like Goldilocks his butthole I'm sure it was Juhu was trite and no unfortunately I did not check the OL a turd cutter out I've failed you reddit I'm sorry I feel like an butthole about this big Jeremy this guy was so silent that we believed he was a mute the school had just recently painted the bins and all kinds of weird styles as our group was walking somewhere at lunchtime we passed her bin that was covered in handprints he offhandedly goes that bin is handy leaving us dumbfounded at his pun BOM thought this was going to be a Pearl Jam joke we sat in the classroom and I think 5th grade my friend had done a PowerPoint presentation about Eminem he talked about that he lived in a trailer as a young boy and the quiet straight A student stands up and says just like you and asks to use the toilet but no one understood anything of what just happened we live in North Europe it's practically no one that lives in a trailer here my friend didn't nothing let me explain I took a class with soon Hui Chow the Virginia Tech shooter one semester before the shooting the class was called contemporary horror it was a one time elective offered by my favorite professor we read horror novels and watched horror films and discussed the craft of creating scary stories but also how they reflected or represented their errors fears it was a great class there were only about 15 students and it was discussion heavy show was one of them I honestly never noticed him even in that small class until halfway into the semester he wasn't quiet he was silent so on the day we all finally noticed him our professor asked him something directly and Cho just stared at him I can't remember the question but the nature of it meant silence was potentially an acceptable and funny response so we all laughed except show he just kept staring at our professor and I laughter awkwardly died and after a few moments of uncomfortable silence our professor just sent who okay and moved on it was so strange but I forgot about that weird moment until after his rampage that Professor later told me that shows papers had been disturbing if the nature of our course meant the envelope was being pushed a bit and it had never been bad enough to suggest he'd do what he did that professor was a good man and he admitted he struggled with not blaming himself on some level for one not identifying how severe Cho's mental health problems were in - for the graphic and terrible nature of some of what we watched in that class which may have inspired show he knew that was balls but a part of him couldn't help but feel some blame it was terribly sad well this changes the tone of the thread our quiet kid was Tommy Tommy never said anything ever out of all the lunches we ate at our table senior year I think Tommy was the only one who never told a story or even added anything to the conversation he just always sat in the same spot along the wall eating his lunch and laughing occasionally at our jokes one day we were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch and sharing stories like we always do my friend Raymond had spent the previous night with a girl named hailey she was a two years younger that already had a reputation of hooking up with a lot of different guys so he was telling us everything that went down kind of bragging even though nobody was really impressed as we were aware of Hailey's reputation anyways Raymond gets done telling his story then proceeds to pull out his sandwich I think it was some sort of fish it didn't look very appealing to Raymond or us so he says this looks disgusting but I'll give it a try anyways and proceeds to take a bite in pipes Tommy is that what you said about hailey last night everyone explodes into laughter drawing the attention of the entire cafeteria Raymond is just sitting there mid-bite stunned I'm bent over in pain from laughing others are on the floor one guy ran to the bathroom because he thought he was going to puke from laughing even ray had to laugh I never noticed him laugh but Tommy had this sly grin on his face the rest of the lunch hour perfect setup prefect execution ten points you have been visited by the studying dojo no matter if you comment or not you will be blessed with good grades for the next month I hope you enjoyed the video if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I post new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot

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Id: _NtH3CAehxM

Length: 16min 19sec (979 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2019