Parents Share the Moment They Realized Their Kid Was a Bully and What They Did About It

parents of bullies when did you realize your child was a bully and how did you react i was the victim until i paid older kids and snacks to beat up the people bullying me i made sure they knew i had caused their injuries you see the snack transaction was a one-time thing but the bullies thought the older kids that beat them up were my mates and i kept that lie alive less than three quid to take out a hit on my tormentors worth it i was a bully in middle school and i can tell you that you won't get many good answers people like me get that way because nobody is paying any attention if nobody makes you feel good you do it yourself and children aren't mature enough to do that properly so they try to steal happiness from others they'll put you down to feel good that's why bullies break down if you beat them just once their hand has slipped from the last string of control they had it's not pleasant for anyone and the longer it goes on the more irreparable the damage becomes tldr pay attention to your kids and show them the way of kindness by example i've seen a lot of people talking about bullying as a result of being bullied and various other things i just wanted to say that even though i came off this way i didn't mean to generalize all bullying this is my experience and i tell it because it hurts me to see people end up like me and i refuse to run away from my past i totally understand that there's multiple types of bullies and i've actually learned a lot about the cycles of violence that aggressive bullying can form from this thread definitely don't mean to put down anyone's experiences cheers i want to make it clear that i didn't do this on my own there's a really good man out there named jordan peterson who makes some of the best content i've ever been privileged to hear truly like a father figure to me and i've never even met him if anyone is looking to change for the better i can not recommend enough that you check him out on youtube without him i really don't think i would have turned my life around at least not for a long time from someone who was a victim of a lot of bullying thanks for writing this it's not something i didn't already know but interesting to hear it from that perspective hope you're doing all right not a parent nor a sister but we take care of our girl relative as often as we can she has her own family we're just close she's eight now and started bullying when she started school because she thinks she's dominant underlying reasons are mainly rooted in the household and environment how she's being treated mostly by adults how people react to her actions how she's being reprimanded methods and how often she's disciplined who she's surrounded by etc but still hard to fix right now the best method keep calm and explain to the child cause effect consequences the feelings and situation of the victim etc remember that you're dealing with a kid don't just scold them and expect them to see at your level of maturity and understanding explain talk it out their stubbornness will get in the way but stay firm and ease your way into their trust and comfort child psychology learn it she's not intentionally bad just that her jokes come off as sarcasm at such a young age to the point of insult sometimes we found out from her teachers and classmates problem her household doesn't see this as an issue to address and actually celebrates her cleverness but even when they do their way of discipline obviously apparently doesn't work any reasonable method of discipline will work as long as it's consistent what they're doing isn't working because they are not being consistent not a parent but i lived next door to my younger sister's bully we were constantly going over there to tell the mother hey your kid hit my sister today or hey your kid bit my sister and the girls were about 9 stroke 10 so she knew better the mother denied that her precious sperm pet could do anything like that a few days later the mother and the kid were at school and i was dropping my sister off the bully girl walked up to a random younger kid and sucker punched her in the face about 20 other adults saw instead of disciplining her kid she started yelling at the kid she punched calling this poor nine eight eight i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i nee i need it was a real eye-opener that the kids probably pick up their absolute behavior from somewhere as it turns out the mother was a complete psycho and regularly lost and gained custody of her kids because she awful behavior she go through boyfriends like they're going out of fashion hit one of them around the head with a rolling pin and cause crap wherever they go the definition of a karen and upon knowing who the mother's parents are it's a family thing for sure frick that's awful i hope the girl finds a better home or she's probably going to be just as messed up as her mum some people just shouldn't have the right to have kids there should be a mandatory psychology test or something my parents thought i was a bully i bit a kid in preschool cause he had a huge brown freckle on his arm him talk in 1.5 inch 38 mm diameter large parents took me to the kid's house to apologize and help the other parents know why i did it literally told them i thought it was a brownie and i literally thought it was so i wasn't truly a bully but more of a complete [ __ ] but for a few days two sets of parents believed i was the antichrist at four years old at that age it can be put down to brain development if you carried on and expanded on that behavior past the age of four stroke five with no remorse understanding or empathy then it would be bullying especially if you would have been capable of learning from your actions but choosing not to obviously the line is more blurry if it's a child with learning disabilities and challenging behaviors i was acquainted with a bully early on in elementary school the way to aggressive type i remember my other friends and i incidentally had similar stories of the bully trying to drown us in the local pool he would punch kids all the time for no reason and was extremely defensive and mentally weak even for an eight-year-old despite it all his parents were very nice but spoiled him a fair amount one day on the first day of school that year he was gone and nobody knew what happened we assumed he moved away until six years later my friends and i were all playing soccer at the park across from the bully's house when suddenly we all spotted the bully atop his backyard play structure fighting a younger man with a toy lightsaber but we all then came to the consensus that he had been sheltered for the past six years and most likely never left the house which i guess is one way to deal with a bully many parents of bullies would not answer many support it because they think their children and family are simply better than everyone else and they teach their kids to think that too not apparent yet but i took a dip into bullying for a bit for the most part i was the one everyone picked on for no real reason other than i behaved differently than pretty much everyone else i was near the bottom of the totem pole but they considered one lower than me a rather plump kid by the name of matt i saw the other kids bullying him and making fun of him i was feeling bitter that day and said something about him when his back was turned the popular kids loved it for a week or two i continued seeking this praise the praise of being in butthole i don't remember the exact turning point but one day i reflected upon myself i thought what am i doing eventually i started seeking amends with him he was very forgiving once i apologized and we even became friends for the next few years we ended up going to different high schools but we even ran into each other when i went to a choir contest his school was hosting we talked for hours i'm glad i stopped when i did because at the end of the day an oversized belly is worlds better than an oversized ego any day tldr was a bully to a kid to win approval but changed attitudes and became friends with him instead i am a parent but of only a four-year-old but i was a huge bully in high school and i'm such an idiot it never even dawned on me until i was like maybe 21 22 i did horrible stuff just for laughs but i made it a priority to personally apologize to everyone formally and in person since then it's one of my highest priorities as a father to ensure my son embraces everyone as a friend when he gets older my dad thought i was a bully once because another parent called our house and told him this was in the time when there were school directories they gave out her kid thought i knocked over a tray of food he was holding while waiting for the bus when in reality there was some rough housing going on behind us i got knocked into the kid causing him to drop the tray i tried to help him pick it up and explain but he was inconsolable and didn't really get it later that afternoon i got the beating of a lifetime and had to make the kid two trays of the food that was knocked over we went and gave the food and apologized but olay pops didn't find my apology satisfactory so we repeated the process of the beat down and food making i distinctly remember the look of pity in the mom's eye and her regret for making that call as i lied to her about how sorry i was about something i didn't do anyway it's likely nobody will read this since i'm late to the party but that was one of the events that really strained my father and his relationship i know it's something he'll regret till the day he dies he's even said as much it was just one thing in the heap for us now had to move away and let the subconscious process it for a few years before i went back and sorted it all out with my family we're all good now but as they say there's no making up for lost time i read it i was glad to hear you guys sorted it all out in the long run my parents realized my youngest sister was a bully when she was like six and now she's 16 and they still haven't done anything about it not so much bullying but being abrasive in online gaming chats with everything locked down i've been very happily able to spend more time with both of my sons my youngest 15 is very competitive when it comes to online gaming currently rocket league but it's been fortnite etc in the past so i'm at my desk and he's at his and i hear some fairly toxic stuff that he's saying to teammates one night i told him game time was over shut it down proceeded to have a front porch talk about what being a good teammate is all about and how supporting the team was always a better idea than dragging people down or making them ashamed he was pretty responsive logged back into discord and apologized to the guys gals he'd been teamed with and we haven't had an incident since then i'm very proud of him if you can't tell you have taught him well good stuff i was a bully in middle school and high school and was bullied as well i never saw myself as a bully because i was constantly picked on and made fun of and didn't realize how many people's feelings i was hurting it honestly took a trip to the office freshman year for me to come face to face with the fact that i was making other people feel bad about themselves my mom sat me down and reminded me of my insecurities and how i used to come home and cry she told me if i wanted to make other people hate me like i hated my bullies then i should keep on doing what i'm doing she also whooped me i made reparations and try to be better than i am i have a tough mom with regrets to the trope that bullies are that way because they have low self-esteem have been bullied themselves etc i'm in no way discounting people's lived experiences research debunks this pretty thoroughly most bullies aren't sad they don't have low self-esteem and they aren't victims they have very high self-esteem feel powerful and use that power against others bullies bully because it's easy they like it and it works i'm a bullied kid almost 20 at the time of writing this you are very right about the kind of person a bully actually is but i also would like to add that the home situation plays a factor my bully came from a single father and from what i've heard his home situation wasn't the best not a parent of a bully but a victim of bullying in early high school years i was friends with some of the bully's family smallish town and they all were as confused as i was as to why this kid picked on me the way he did he would follow me as i walked home from school and throw crap at me he would shove me against the walls in the hallway he tried to shove me inside a locker as all stereotypical 90s high school bullies do he would spit in my food as he walked by in the lunch room called me terrible derogatory names constantly i had just got her anew to me car and he threw some kids bike at the hood and scratched it to heck you get the idea kids and butthole one day i had had enough of his balls and as he was cornering me in the hallway for his daily be down i shoved him off of me with all the strength my 14 year old scrawny frame could muster he came back at me with fists ready to go when my favorite teacher walked out of his classroom but they locked eyes bully put on his i'm sorry eyes and walked away on my walk home he blindsided me and cold cocked me on the side of the head i somehow got back up and just started swinging i got lucky and knocked the snot out of him he never messed with me again and actually reached out years later to apologize for his actions my favorite part of this whole story is that while i was at my friend's house his mom bullies aren't caught wind of it somehow and said she was glad someone finally kicked that little shoots butt come to find out the bully's parents were divorced but always around each other and fighting they neglected him constantly his dad beat him quite often and he just lived a sad life so as almost all of these tales recount normally it's really not the kid's fault that definitely opened my eyes the rest of my high school college career and it's something i've been trying to teach my younger family tldr bully used to frick with me constantly i somehow knocked him out in a fight found out his home life was trash don't always blame the kid sometimes it's a just cards they've been dealt [Music] my son is too young but i coached a high school wrestling team in my late 20s one of my wrestlers who came from a wealthy family made fun of an overweight junior varsity kid on another team before the match started wrestling takes a ton of confidence and for a kid who clearly knows he is not in shape to put on a singlet and go out there and compete takes a lot of guts my wrestler's comments immediately revolted me i pulled him aside and told him that he just embarrassed me the team and himself i told him that i was ashamed that he represented us and that he would not wrestle for us in a match ever again until he apologizes to the other kid and his parents who were sitting right there and clearly overheard it because i could see the reactions on their faces i was a volunteer coach at the time i was stationed in this town for the navy i couldn't really be punished or held accountable by the school other than being let go since i was categorized as a volunteer and not an employee i basically coached for fun and to keep in shape since i loved the sport i was known to be the more aggressive cool coach because of my age i only mentioned this because i knew my role in the staff would set an example among the other kids and this particular wrestler would take it to heart hard it did i also knew that the other parents really liked and respected me because i was honest and real with their kids this was a majority blue collar town and i think they appreciated that my wrestler apologized immediately i gave him the cold shoulder for a while afterwards until we had a talk about what it means to be an adult and how to treat others i appreciate the context you gave that kid what it means to be an adult and how to treat others by categorizing his bad behavior as childish you've taught him more than just how to be considerate to others that's real leadership former or recovering bully here this is a long one sorry it's weird i had almost the perfect childhood growing up so i never saw any of my actions as wrong up until high school i mean my parents thought and still think i'm the nicest person on the planet and i deserve the world yeah i am the favored child and my brother would insult me and sometimes hit me over it i started to realize it after i kept losing friend groups in all of elementary school i never had friends and i genuinely thought it was because no one liked me so i did everything i could think of to make people like me and that was to hurt other kids even in middle school sixth grade i texted a girl you will never get a real boyfriend you have had more boyfriends than taylor swift i thought it was hilarious but it caused a crap ton of drama after she sent it to all of her friends and then i was getting bullied for it and took the victim card and threatened to commit suicide she freaked and i was in the counselor's office for a whole day talking about my life and how everything led up to this she laughed at me so yeah i did not learn my lesson i finally got friends a year later and high school came around and lost them once they stopped hanging out with me got another friend group and they dropped me when i got depressed one winter and never talked to them i have a new friend group and we were talking senior year and i slowly came to the realization that i am a horrible person i've been working on my words and what i say and when it's so hard because everyone close to me thought i was such a great person but i'm really trying and i'm hoping i can fix this permanently in college and that i can go back and apologize to those i've hurt over the years the parents look into your kids lives could change them for the better i stay up at night thinking about a lot of things i have done as someone who was bullied a lot in school i would say it would make the difference to apologize it can give a sense of closure and they will think much more highly of you for it at least i would i'm now a parent of a 10 year old and an eight-year-old two different mothers i have full custody of both i'm only 28 and i just had my birthday both my kids are straight a students and haven't had anything close to a b for a couple of years i have to comfort and reassure my daughters when they get a b that it's okay i say all that to say this i was definitely a bully it hurts to admit that i really only know that bc all my friends from school stopped talking to me bc of how mean i was they all just stopped talking or replying to me one day i could tell they planned it two years later i bumped into everyone at a gaming convention we spent the whole convention together i paid for everything for everyone i knew before they said it why they all stopped talking to me at the end of the convention in the parking lot they all told me why they quit talking to me i was a bully they were right that was the last time i talked to any of them i deleted all social media and went into self-imposed exile i'm a lot better now and realized my actions had consequences this might sound stupid but when you have no parents that guide and teach you you just don't ever think about consequences bc you never really dealt with them being a bully is not cool you hurt people majorly with actions you think are minor as a bully a bully is someone who attains their success through robbing another person of their positive emotions whether through physical or psychological violence bully is a high-functioning people who are well aware of when a potential victim is vulnerable this is why bullies only ever pick the vulnerable bullying is a behavioral pattern that is learned from parents usually one parent bullies their partner and the children while the partner simply accepts what is occurring and allows or encourages it bullying continues simply because people don't stand up to them as anecdotal evidence when i was about 15 i was bullied by a boy who also was seen as a leading peer and also bullied others he attacked me pushed me against a wall in a stairwell and held a razor blade against my throat close enough to draw blood i felt threatened enough that i need him in the balls punched elbowed him in the face and pushed him down the stairs he cried like a little bee i got in trouble with the school but never again was bullied by him or any other bullies actually but still i'd rather have not experienced five or six years of being bullied man this brings back bitter memories of fighting with my brothers when we were younger that make me feel really guilty and sad when i was a kid i was prone to anger and i took it out on my younger brothers a couple times that really stand out in my head but we all have great relationships with one another now but sometimes i get hit by a vivid memory of making one of them cry and it really hurts to think about i actually brought it up with them one of the times it was bothering me and they forgave me and said they didn't really remember so at least there's that but i wish i could forget one of my friends is dealing with this right now with her six seven yo who is also on the spectrum she's got her kid hooked on someone called jojo siwa who has a lot of anti-bullying stuff a lot of the bullying came from her school environment and she must have decided better you than me and took the initiative so her mom is homeschooling until her daughter's social skills are more sympathetic and in tune with her age group my older brother was a bully to us every time we would tell our mom she would scold us for being tattletails and there would be zero consequences then he grew up to become a homeless jobless h addict who abused every girlfriend he had and my parents were raising his daughter my mom likes to romanticize our childhood and every time we bring up the fact that he has always been a crappy person she is like well why didn't you tell me i could have done something if i only knew if your kid's a bully it's usually because your crappy parent and crappy parents don't take responsibility or care i am not sure all parents recognize or even care if their kid is a bully my friend's kid is a terrible bully we can no longer have them over to our house or have play dates at all this kid verbally and physically abuses other kids all the time and the parents take no action on two occasions she was caught in the act of punching my kid at a play date for no reason as soon as the parents began to discipline her she started to cry that's when things got weird they started comforting her as if she was the one who got hurt and then they started apologizing to her and asking her if she needed some space she was not disciplined in any way nor was she asked to apologize for her behavior quite the opposite she was treated like a victim they told me they are practicing kind discipline basically there are no consequences for this kid i have three kids and heck would freeze before i handled them misbehaving that way the only bully i ever had was being beaten yelled at by their parents all the time and we all knew it so we all just felt bad for them as they were bullying us it was a weird situation they got out of their house and everyone involved pretty much became friends again if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] by

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: parents, parenting, bullies, parents of bullies, parents of bullies reddit, parenting fails, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: xrhVYeV2tmY

Length: 24min 12sec (1452 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 18 2020