My ex husband's new wife banns anyone pregnant

[Music] a little background sorry there's lots of text and names i'll try to keep this as clear as possible my ex-boyfriend bill and i were together for 10 years from the ages of 15 to 25. we lived together for the last five years of the relationship we broke up very amicably with zero hard feelings we just realized that we had both grown up into two very different people than we were at 15. i'm still friendly with his mother and his brother fred 39 meters through facebook bill is also friends with my family members and we have lots of mutual friends after we broke up we remained friends and a couple of years later i meet my wonderful husband 38 and i now have a gorgeous little girl four bill also met his current wife feiner around the same time i met my husband we've both met each other spouse and have gotten along well over time bill and i grew even further apart and only exchanged niceties over facebook once in a while again no hard feelings it's all part of growing up the problem started when i fell pregnant with my daughter bill and feiner have had trouble conceiving and while i sympathize with the struggle they're having it has started affecting their relationships with our mutual friends finer started getting a little unhinged for lack of better term when she found out i was pregnant and told bill he couldn't contact me anymore i didn't really care i understand it must be hard for her so i didn't say anything at all as it's none of my business after that she started deaf ending and blocking all of our mutual friends who were pregnant or had kids this hurt my best friends and feelings as she was also bill's best friend and moved across the country and feiner told bill that he couldn't see anne when she came to visit which her tan even more i got peered bill and even though i wanted to stay out of it i had to tell him how much he hurt anne he told me that he would make an effort next time she visited but he never did now fire and bill have moved halfway around the world to australia she has cut off all contact with his family bill's older brother fred had a baby recently and feyenoor instantly deaf friended fred and his wife as well as bill and fred's mother she refuses to let bill spend time with his family over the holidays and wouldn't let him stay with his family when he came back to visit without her i have largely stayed out of this because i do not want to get involved with the crazy but recently fina has started emailing me she got my email from bill's account and has told me that i should stop talking to all our mutual friends so she can add them back on facebook what the ever-loving duck she's also telling me very personal details about their relationship and asking my advice which is just crazy she wants me to write up a statement that says that my ex has autism he doesn't so she can give it to his doctor i haven't responded to any of her emails and i don't know what to do i have had zero contact with bill over the last two years since i talked to him about anne and i'm getting all this information from our mutual friends this woman is obviously disturbed and as much as i want to stay out of it she's hurting people i care about and i think might be emotionally abusing my ex who may be a pushover but is a genuinely nice guy what can i do to help him read it i'm 100 sure she's reading his mls and fafsa book so i can't message him privately also he lives in another country so i can't try to meet up with him there is definitely something wrong with her and i want to try to help her out too so i forwarded her messages to my ex's brother fred he called me immediately and said that he would try to get a hold of his brother as soon as possible i forgot to say in my earlier post but bill works as an independent consultant contractor in it so it was hard getting a hold of him in his workplace frank received a few responses from bill just short ml saying he was okay but fred wasn't really buying it thankfully i hadn't received any more messages from fauna i didn't reply to any of her emails so i guess she gave up on me i didn't think there was much more that anyone could do so just got on with looking after my own family my husband let's call him dan knew that i was worried about my ex and as a testament to what a great guy he has he said about trying to contact him as they both work in the same field of it i know apparently i have a very specialized type lol dan is close to his boss and told him about the situation dan's boss contacted bill through lincoln to set up a skype consult dan's reasoning is that if fiona is monitoring bill's emails and social media then this will fly under her radar as she doesn't know dan's boss and his connection to us my husband is a sneaky clever bastard they scheduled the call a day later and my husband hopped onto the call as well he didn't tell me exactly what he said but the gist of it is that dan and his boss told bill that we were all worried about him and that if he needed help to just let us know bill broke down and started crying he felt so helpless and thought that no one cared about him turns out she was reading all his emails and deleted all the ones from his family as well as controlling all the finances she was also physically at him and was too embarrassed to tell anyone she's just shy of five foot he's six feet four inches dan and his boss told him to pack his bags and head to the airport and they bought him a one-way ticket back home bill arrived home a week or so ago and he's doing well he's staying with his mother and father and fred has been helping him get back on his feet and handle the legal stuff needless to say they are extremely grateful to my husband and his boss and have paid back the cost of the ticket as well as buying dan and his boss several bottles of very expensive bourbon which they insisted on we were happy to cover the ticket but weren't going to argue with them dan and i told them that now he's home we were going to take a step back his family is looking after him now and they don't need our help anymore we'll still keep in touch though and i think we'll always be close to bill and his family from now on fred did tell me that she doesn't want to come back home so we don't have to worry about her turning up on our doorstep i don't know how firena reacted she hasn't sent me any emails so i don't think she knows i was involved or what's going to happen legally because i don't want to be so involved anymore it's time we focused on our family for a bit because i'm pregnant couldn't have picked a better man to breed with also dan's boss let dan bill the hours of bill's rescuers personal development because there are still decent people in the world mark and i met in college and had a really great relationship we dated until both of us finished law school after which he proposed and i gladly said yes at the time he was much more religious than i was and he insisted we have kids right away and that i stayed home with them to raise them while he worked i had really wanted to start my practice as well but i could see it was really important to him so i relented and we had two amazing kids and his law career really took off i was able to work from home and hire help three times a week with me still in the house to do insurance and real estate paperwork reviews it was something but i had really wanted to be a litigator i was even okay with this and my resentment didn't ever really show unless mark would remind me that stay-at-home moms should be stay-at-home moms and not work at all marriage turned really bad after our second child was born eight years ago we basically became like unfriendly roommates i pleaded with mark to go to counseling with me and he would and things would get better for a few months than it would go to crap i would insist on divorce but then he would remind me that our is actually religion does not allow divorce so i would insist on counseling and the cycle repeated itself more times than i can count then about a year ago mark hit me with the bombshell revelation that he has been gay since he was a teenager i was honestly relieved for him because it seemed to explain so much of why he acted the way he did why he was distant and over compensating with so much i was actually very relieved that our divorce would finally come and he could live true to himself he moved out but it turns out he had been having an affair with his much younger partner for about five years the dates on this are very sketchy by the way because it's very possible this man was underage when he and mark started the affair he certainly was when he and mark met i grew very resentful that i was busy working my fingers to the bone to save the marriage to appease mark's religious sentiment while he was off having s technically cheating on me and violating the principles of the religion only he really cared about our kids are also of the age that i could have easily gone back to work but again i stayed at home to appease his desire to appear as the perfect christian couple although while he is carrying on with a younger lover mark has also fought me at every turn over the divorce he doesn't want to pay any even though it would take me years to get my career to where i could support even half the lifestyle the kids and i lead now he wants to pay bare bones child support and wants the image that we split custody but in reality he makes the effort to see the kids once every couple of months and ignores their calls he's a great lawyer so even he has to know all he is doing is delaying the inevitable to make things hard on me in all this time he's taking sabbaticals from his firm and taking long vacations to places like devera with his boyfriend delaying our divorce even further it happens almost daily and certainly weekly where family and friends will see me at dinners the grocery store or restaurants we live in old farm community that has essentially been turned into a commuter town for the city nearby but it retains a very small town feel and tell me how amazing they think mark is for living true to himself and being so courageous to finally come out i've gone along with this because i don't want to embarrass either of us but yesterday i was approached by an older woman from our old now thank god church who almost shamed me for keeping mark in a relationship that he didn't want to be in i didn't snap but it's as close as i've come the only people that really know how i feel are my best friend my mom and my counselor is it time that i just start telling the truth when i have one of these awkward interactions i feel that if mark had left me for a younger woman he'd been seeing for five years everyone would be expecting me to spill the beans on what a jerk he was i have a really great lawyer as of january and he's working on it mark did every shitty divorce trick in the book to frustrate me into settling it took that long for me to be able to even hire a lawyer in our area i'm lucky in that i could represent myself in preliminary hearings which in turn allowed a judge nullify quite a bit of the crappy stuff mark has done legally now that i'm going through it firsthand i'm absolutely going to go into divorce when i do finally work i've always heard but i'm appalled at how the dirty tricks can affect people's lives i'm not out to ruin him which is thus far why i haven't spread the talk of his affair i don't think most people know that he cheated on me and even if they do they seem to be more impressed with his coming out i rationalize that ruining him is not in my kids or my best interest lots of great tips and i really appreciate every comment this was way bigger than i thought and i'm reading all of them thank you and edit3 i forgot to type this as i was just going to bed the whole reason i came here was to know how to respond to our acquaintances when they approached me about it being so great mark came out this is basically going to be my go-to response i'm happy that mark finally had the courage to live true to himself but divorces are always sad and unfortunately ours is no different before i start ranting i want to highlight just how much i love my amazing girlfriend tara she's smart hard-working caring thoughtful incredibly loyal great with kids sometimes i think she might be a kid's whisperer as she can calm down pretty much any nibbling overall i've never been as happy as i am when i'm with her and i can't imagine a life without her it's not just me who loves her my family adores her too my grandmother passed away few months ago and recently my grandfather pulled me aside and handed me herring he said they both really wanted the ring to go to terror and handed it to me i've been thinking about it and well i think i want to propose to her sooner than later now on to the rant terror is very traditional so she doesn't believe in living together before marriage she stays over at my place a few nights a week as a compromise but she won't move in permanently to top it off she's really messy the only clean place in her house is the kitchen and she keeps it very clean because she likes to cook tara's in training to be a surgeon atm so she's always busy with some sort of study she has books and papers all over the house including her bed i've never seen that bed empty when she does the laundry she doesn't bother folding anything and just chucks everything into the closet so when she needs something she will basically pull out the pile of everything and make a mess i'm not sure what living with her would be like and although she loves cooking she hates cleaning second issue i have is with her view towards life and finances now she's from a country that doesn't normally educate females because they think males will later on look after their family whereas females will get married and forget about their family her father didn't believe this and instead of marrying her off at a young age he pushed her to study but because of this she feels like she owes everything to her family she made it clear from the beginning that she will always be helping out her family especially her younger siblings if they ever need it the problem i have with it is she's incredibly frugal when it comes to herself and lives very minimally however she will give out the money she worked hard to save to anyone who needs it very easily her uncle had an accident few years back and they were struggling they live overseas where there isn't much help from any other sources and she basically bought a house for 20 grand for them plus paid of their debt when i asked her she said well i know i'll always have a house there when i visit and i'd rather not have that extra cash around if it means they are going to be homeless we talked about children and we both want it i want to give my kids the best i can of everything and i want her to want that and to work towards that but when i questioned her on this her response was there is nothing i want more than to give our kids the best as well but i don't want to teach them that they are entitled to an iphone a tablet a laptop and other random expensive things when their cousin is struggling to find a slice of bread i want to teach our children the value of things and for them to be human and to care about things other than themselves i want them to appreciate little things and be grateful for more meaningful things in life she then used her siblings as examples now since i want this post to be unbiased she's right her siblings are very well behaved and it often amazes me how thoughtful they are my sister has children their age 10 to 12 and if she doesn't get them what they want there will be tantrums and other massive fights they can't share anything with each other let alone with others whereas i've seen terror ask for items they no longer used from her siblings to give away to charity and these kids basically brought bags of their toys to give when i asked the youngest wasn't she playing with a certain toy anymore she said it's okay i have plenty of others to play with they need it more i know they mean well and in theory it all sounds great but i'm scared these things will be a problem in the future because we have different views on things am i ignoring red flags because i'm in love with her so much or are these things that we can work on [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 45,507

Rating: 4.9278631 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit pregnant, reddit marriage, reddit fiance, reddit best friend, reddit pregnancy, reddit revenge, reddit po revenge, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ pregnant, r/ marriage, r/ fiance, r/ best friend, r/ pregnancy, r/ revenge, r/ pro revenge, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit pregnant, askreddit marriage, askreddit fiance, askreddit best friend, askreddit pregnancy, askreddit

Id: dt2v5yumeP4

Length: 17min 7sec (1027 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 03 2020