Mother in law invited my husband's ex wife to our engagement party

[Music] mother-in-law is still obsessed with husband's ex-wife English's of my first language so please excuse any errors Thanks my mill hates me and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual at this point I'm at a loss as to where I can move forward with her so I'm just here to talk about my story because therapy is too expensive at this moment my husband and his ex-wife had been divorced for almost three years when we first met their relationship was complicated at best as they were high school sweethearts at fifteen married at 20 and divorced at 27 D H was 30 years old working at Home Depot full-time picking up odd jobs here and there to pay the bills while also going to school part-time when we first met I was 28 going to school full-time and was my dad's PC a personal care assistant before he passed away in May of 2016 we were acquainted since he worked in the paint department at Home Depot as supervisor and I was there the entire summer of 2016 as I had inherited my dad's house and was remodeling it D H was kind and patient with me as he educated me on paint and other related things pertaining to my projects I had small crush on him over that summer but as every retail crush goes nothing came of it by fall of that year I was back to school and was dating another man for a few months I eventually broke up with my ex-boyfriend in February of 2017 and it ended badly to the point that I needed therapy I wouldn't see the H again until May of 2017 following the advice of my therapist I chose a hobby that would bring color into my life and I decided to start gardening and who has garden supplies Home Depot by then D H had been promoted to lead supervisor and I continued to bump into him every time I went into Home Depot we slowly got to know one another as he would help me with projects and help carry my items out to my car even though he didn't have to it started out but we gradually built up to a friendship which eventually lead us to dating by the fall of the same year we were together for well over a year before he proposed marriage and I accepted our relationship just came so easily as we had taken things one day at a time slowly building not only a friendship but also mutual respect for one another he had been divorced and I had just came out of a bad relationship so it made us more cautious we were able to determine what our triggers were and worked on them together leading to deeper bond everything was perfect except for the fact that mill hated me she thought d.h was too good for me and that the ex wife was the only woman perfect for him the ex-wife who had lied cheated and stole from d.h and was the reason why he ended up almost homeless d-h had worked at a corporation in the city before receiving a job opportunity to make more money and move up the ladder it also required travelling all over the country and overseas they decided was too good of a deal to not accept so he ended up being gone from home for sometimes weeks on end when he was overseas for his job unbeknownst to him she had quit her own job decided by herself to become a housewife and wrecked up tens of thousands in debt by opening up loans under his name and going on extreme shopping sprees she would lie about working and put in efforts to go to her job when he was home so he'd never suspected anything was wrong since he paid all the bills and was home maybe only every other weekends about a year or so passed by and ex-wife was more than withdraw she would consistently become busy whenever he'd called home or was home d-h become suspicious and long story short he hired ana tech t'v to see what she was doing while he was gone and learned that she was not only cheating on him with multiple men but she had one of her lover living in their town home whenever he was away after a confrontation ex wife filed for divorce that stated she wanted the town home a ridiculous amount in alimony and child support yep she was also pregnant but it wasn't DHS baby because by that point she had also been withholding S after a paternity test and a lengthy divorce proceeding with evidence proving her infidelity the court ruled that the H didn't had to pay her anything the next few months began a down spiral for him he lost his job due to one relative issues and he had to use most of his savings the money that ex-wife hadn't stole from him to pay off the debt she acquired as well as the lawyer fees he lost the town home and had to downsize to a small cheap apartments D H would tell me later at that point in his life he was so desperate for cash he started applying for jobs that he never looked twice at before and was near begging anyone to hire him those years really humbled him and made him a better person and human being even after what ex-wife's put him through my mill still wouldn't give up the idea of them being together again because to her they had been the perfect American couple anything could be overlooked if you wanted to I always assumed Mel didn't like me because I wasn't quite like them as I was Asian and definitely not blonde haired blue-eyed like the ex-wife was she never made her contempt for me a secret and everyone knew but I had been determined to never be one of those women who made her partner choose between her or his mother so I told D H to not interfere that I could handle mil and I did until that day that almost made me broke off our engagement we had planned to get married October of 2019 and mil was adamant that she was involved in everything pertaining to the wedding it had been better to just let her do what she wanted than argue with her I didn't really cared for a wedding but our family's really wanted one so we relented we had our engagement party on June 1st of 2019 and mil took it upon herself to set it up D H and I had already graduated from college by then he opened up his own company whereas I was working for a small private company that night he had to stay late to finish up something for his client so I headed to the engagement party by myself I immediately knew she was going to go down when I got there since my sisters were fuming and everyone else was awkwardly avoiding eye contact with me behold my future mill had invited ex wife to my own engagement party ah but not only that because it was semi a Father's Day mill had decided there would be a father Days themed party - and invited ex-wife's parents as well knowing full well that my own dad had passed away barely three years before edit D H lost his dad when he was a kid so the whole Father's Day thing didn't make sense unless it was just to hurt me I'm pretty sure mill did that to dip the knife in since I wouldn't have him to walk me down the aisle as per the traditions the smug look on her face was enough to make me go all berserk honor my friends and family were ready to do that for me but I managed to kept my cool despite being on the verge of madness I think I was managing to hold it all together until ex wife decided to talk to me and showed me phone call logs between her and eh most were five-minute conversations or less but anything can be said in five minutes come over what a hooker I still love you it was the first time I ever doubted our relationship and it was an ugly feeling people told me before that she had many flaws including being entitled and spoiled despite her looks and smarts but at that moment I couldn't help but wonder if I measured up to her when it came to the age when D H arrived to the party he was beyond furious when he saw the Father's Day theme and even mil had to take a step back when he asked her why she did that despite everything I told him that I was okay and we would just go through with the engagement party I didn't want mil or the ex wife to see me break down it was what they wanted and I could be prideful and stubborn when I wanted to be on our way home I confronted him about the phone calls to his ex-wife and I think a part of me died when he admitted he had been in contact with her everyone talks about your heart shattering into pieces but I never quite understood what that meant until then he told me that she was calling for money since she'd just gave birth to her third child and was strapped for cash her lover the man she cheated with recently left them I don't think I ever cried as much as I did in that car ride home I've always been an emotional nor person but that night it was just beyond heartbreaking to me the failed engagement party aside he had kept this huge secret from me that he had been contact with his ex-wife I had never once questioned his faithfulness until then and I hated the both of us for it despite protests I packed a bag and had one of my sister picked me up stating that I needed time away from him it was also the first time we slept apart in different beds since we got together and the first time I went weeks without talked with him pretty painful and still make me sad when I think about it we did eventually got back together in July after several lengthy conversations and time apart to re-evaluate our relationship he was remorseful of what he did and promised to never keep a secret from me again and it was at that point that he decided to cut off his mother he told her he wouldn't talk to her until she apologized to me she didn't take it too well not surprisingly and blamed me for losing her son I was the bee who took her son away and it was then that I decided I didn't have it in me to be the better person anymore inviting the ex-wife to my engagement party was whatever I can deal with that but doing a Father's Day event knowing full well my siblings and mum would also be there to hurting the people I loved was just crossing many boundaries d-h kept his word and we cut contact with Mel we decided to elope soon afterwards and held a small ceremony in October less stressful and it was perfect for us our relationship has been wonderful and we even started trying to have a baby since we are both financially secured and always wanted to be parents then covered 19 happened put thing in two perspectives and EH reached out to Mel who took it as a sign that she could come back into our lives I'm not a complete B that I demand that the H not talk with his mother but it's irritating that she's been calling every day for the past few months for him to come over and check on something or buy her essential products I'm trying to be understanding but I can't help but listen to that internal voice inside of me that mil wants to inject herself into our lives again so she can finish what she started at last year I'm pretty sure if I die from the virus tomorrow mill would have the ex-wife inside my house so fast my body would still be cold at the morgue when she do so I know I'm being selfish and unreasonable with all thing considered and what's happening around us that I just wish no would leave us alone she's like a shark who can smell blood edit I'm pretty sure milind the ex-wife's were conspirators last year it was all too perfect that the ex-wife started calling the h around the same time around our engagement party as though they wanted us to break up with the phone call logs being shown as proof for something and for D H to realize he was still in love with his ex-wife he's not I have my suspicions but I just can't prove it without sounding crazy D H and I had a conversation in depth about covered 19 and mil before he initiated contact DHS middles only child and immediate family left so that's why I agreed with him that he should call her to see how she was during the lockdown what I expected was for it to be a one-time thing only in for us to going back to no contact but vh has been talking with her almost every day for a few months now I admit that I should have been more clear on where my boundaries were but with the pandemic I thought it was wrong of me to demand something like that however I know better now as it is affecting me more than I thought it would I'll have a discussion within tonight and hopefully we come to a solution that helps the both of us I don't want to force him to stop talking with his mother during this time but I also don't want to suffer in silence either thanks for the advice my husband was married when I met him freshly separated we got engaged three months after meeting and waited for the divorce to finalize before planning a wedding after two and a half long years and his ex-wife becoming pregnant by her new fiance the divorce was final and we could cut ties with her or so we thought my husband's first wife was the daughter of Mill's best friend so naturally she clings to her as a mother figure even to this day my husband's sister and mom do playdates outings and fam gatherings with her but last week was the straw that broke my millender's relationship my husband's ex had gotten into a bad accident totally her Falls fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into someone else her car caught fire and it was gone in a few minutes she escaped with no injuries she is a mother and wife who is the sole breadwinner of her family I get it times get tough with no car her family has money though recently my milind Phil came into some money and has been helping everyone but my husband and I out one day when scrolling on FAFSA but last week my husband sees a post that his mom was tagged in the post read I have the best extended family ever thanks to my in-laws for buying me a new car my in-laws were pictured with her and her husband and child with the keys my husband exploded I have never seen him so angry he tore into his mom for the both of us about the level of disrespect I have not talked to my mill since and don't plan on it for a long time I always felt like she would have rather died husband stained a relationship with his ex even though she cheated I have been shoulder doubt since day one as what she probably thinks as a home wrecker since I stopped her fantasy of them getting back together but this this has taken it to a whole new level so future husband and I have been together four years and engaged eight months future husband lives three hours away and is in the process of moving to where I live he currently lives close to his mom my future mil future husband was married 20 years to his first wife and they divorced after she was caught fragrantly cheating future millas aware of this and how deeply it hurt her son however she is still very close to her former daughter-in-law the first time I spent any time with her one-on-one she she announced that she would never turn her back on the cheating ex-wife because they were family the ex wife hates me although I had nothing to do with the divorce I came along some time after her the problem is they have always been a very close family and she continues to include the ex in every Sunday dinner holiday and event we then have a choice future husband and I can go to the event and allow her to be rude and obnoxious to us or we can skip it we have usually skipped the events to avoid a scene now every time I'm around future mill she makes comments like X came over last night and pulled a thorn out of the dog's paw she is so wonderful or X made the best in last night I try not to say anything but it really has started to bother me the current issue is that his family spends every Thanksgiving and Christmas with extended family and dear husband wanted to attend this year he told his mother that he wanted to attend but if she invited X we would have the holiday at my house she replied that would be better she is actually choosing to have Exeter Christmas rather than her own son she acknowledges X cheated and hurt her son she acknowledges that X mentally and physically the four kids to the point that two of them may never function normally X even accused future filler vesser long story for attention but she still chooses this woman over her own son and and his right to move on with his life why because she is a Christian now she has made it clear that as far as she is concerned I will never be part of the family the best is when she does to acknowledge my existence when she needs something when she had friends visit from overseas she announced to future husband that she was bringing them to my much nicer house for a few days so I could entertain them for the holiday she has had to attend she expects me to wait on her hand and foot everything from waiting until I'm in the middle of doing 10k things and demanding I make her a hot breakfast to peeing all over the bathroom floor and leaving it there expecting me to clean it so honestly I don't want her around it just baffles me that she chooses this psycho ex over her loving amazing son honestly I thought I was being overly sensitive until I found this sub thanks for letting me vent edit for clarity all four kids are adults 18 to 24 and it is worth noting that they all moved in with him after the divorce man of wanted to be around her in fact one of them won a UIL speech contest with the topic of how crazy his mommy's and how evil she was during the divorce but her she's a Christian not so dear husband and I have been together for eight years married for six we've had our ups and downs just like everyone else but I do him in my in-laws my Millis the sweetest person I've ever met she loves her family and does everything possible for everyone her mother however oh boy the first time I ever met Jay in Gmail all she did was gushed to me about how much she adores her ex-wife how good of a mother she is how much she misses seeing her etc first of all the beach cheated on dear husband when he was in Iraq with their mutual friend and had previously cheated on D H with the man he was rooming with while deployed D H found all of this out and had to leave deployment to come home on emergency leave to handle all this nonsense she also neglected the girls to the point of the in-laws and Bill having to step in and remove the girls for their safety she's also pulled a loaded G on D H I think the reason that Jay and Gmail and ex-wife got along so well is that they are both textbook narcissists and wackadoodles Miller's the scapegoat of the family being the only one to escape and have a life outside of Jay in Gmail the hack has turned her entire family against mill because she's the only one with a shiny's fine before I met mill ex wife tried to convince me that she was the worst person in the world and how evil she is and yet monthly ex-wife asks for things for the girls that she spends on herself example last year for oldest D D birthday ex-wife wanted to go glamping so that didi can invite all of the popular girls and they could all be best friends and then didi would be popular middle rents a cabin on the lake for a weekend the only people that went were ex wife and both Dedes I have stories galore about ex wife but this is Jay in Gmail so I'll try to refrain in a ho I've limited my visits with Jay and Gmail because I don't trust myself to keep my mouth shut and I don't want to - how wonderful c-max faces I've seriously never hated anyone more than the HX plus me opening my big mouth with just her th while the family treats his mother like they've always been good to him the last time I visited Christmas 2018 I received a card with the name Pam on it my name is not Hamed I have been with D H for eight years and they wrote me a card addressed to Pam I thought it was hilarious this Christmas I talked it out with D H and told him how uncomfortable I'm over there and that I didn't want to go he said he understands and while he was sad I wasn't going he respected my choice they've also had a bedbug infestation for the better part of a year that's a no from me dog when D H got back I asked how it was and he mentioned how disappointed they were that I didn't come visit how much the would have liked to see me etc I told him they didn't want to see me they wanted to see Pam he laughed I laughed I didn't have to deal with flying monk isn't a narcissist it was a good Christmas [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit mil, justnomil, reddit girl, reddit engagement, reddit ex wife, reddit wife, reddit mother in law, r/ girl, r/ mil, r/ mother in law, mother in law, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit, askreddit mil, askreddit mother in law, askreddit girl, askreddit wife, engagement party, mil ruined engagement party

Id: LNvSoDsdipw

Length: 21min 26sec (1286 seconds)

Published: Tue May 05 2020