Cousins demand I split my inheritance with them

[Music] backstory my grandparents have always been a big part of my life as well as the rest of my family they had five kids including my dad and have 13 grandchildren six great-grandchildren my grandparents are pretty wealthy they own three businesses up until last year when my grandpa passed away i'm the baby of the grandchildren and have always been really close with them my grandma babist me until i was able to go to kindergarten i wrap her christmas presents for everyone every year i decorate their house and i've worked at their bar on friday nights throughout college without pay as they got too old to do these things themselves all of these things were offered to my cousins but they never helped out my grandparents ran a horse training farm for show horses for over 40 years this was something my dad took up with them and i quickly started to love i rode every weekend with my grandma up until high school when i started to get busy even though i don't ride much anymore my dad and i go out and clean the stores every week and take care of the horses when my grandparents went on trips usually every other month my grandparents were a huge part of my life the problem my grandma passed away four weeks ago it was devastating my grandma left my aunts uncles dad about 85 000 each money that her and my grandpa worked very very hard for this was expected what wasn't expected was for them to leave me a little over forty five thousand dollars along with some other things of value i was honestly shocked my cousins all got about two thousand dollars each and some knickknacks obviously you can see where this was going my aunts and uncles were in the reading when i was told so they told their kids everyone besides my parents are furious my cousins who are adults are demanding i split it evenly with them i don't feel that i have to i was very close with my grandparents and did a lot for them but this is hard my family is very tight and we do annual vacations together monthly parties dinners etc i never expected money would tear us apart this money could change a lot for me i could pay off my ten thousand dollar student loan and put the rest toward my upcoming wedding future children a savings account a small part of me wants to divide it evenly just to keep everyone together but there was a reason they left me this they didn't do it to hurt anyone i was the only one to visit them and help them out none of them took the time to see them aside from family get but no one understands that aside from my parents i feel like i'm single-handedly tearing the family apart my aunts and uncles won't talk to my dad unless i split the money and my cousins won't talk to me i only have a student loan and car payment so i don't have much debt but this could set me up for a comfortable future they all keep throwing in my face that they have families house payments college to pay for etc they keep saying i've been planning this for a long time but i truly haven't i loved my grandparents my fiance is telling me to forget about them and to do what's best for me but i'm a huge family person i don't want to split the money it could really help me but i feel that they could be playing me by making me choose between them and it my parents also want me to keep the money as they feel my family members are being ridiculous by demanding this is it right for me to keep this much i feel like i deserve it is it right for me to put this money over my family or other people who i've been so close with my entire life taking advantage of me forty five thousand dollars vs two thousand dollars is a huge difference so advice edit there's more in the world than i explained houses classic cars horses the farm land cds etc the cash checking accounts that were given to me are the only things that seem to be the problem with everyone absolutely keep all the money your cousins think they are entitled just because of lineage they are not your grandparents gave you the money because you were good to them and spent time with them you deserve the money they don't also like you said this money can positively change your life and give you the good start you need that's what your grandparents intended if you split it it's not going to be enough to help anyone honor what your grandparents wanted and keep the money use that line with your family in fact our grandparents wanted me to have this money i'm going to honour their wishes i won't be discussing this further if you want to let something like this tear the family apart that's your choice honesty you see these people a couple of times a year they might be blood but they are not your chosen family and you'll probably find they matter to you less and less as you get older don't let their birthday ruin your chance for a good life seriously you'd think decent human beings who became two thousand dollars richer from the loss of their grandparents would be more grateful money really does bring out the worst in some people eight months ago my gf mary of nine years informed me that she wished to help pay for her sisters emma ongoing cancer treatment i'm not a controlling heartless individual i'll let my mary know that i find it incredibly noble that she wants to take on that responsibility and would be happy to cover more of the bills we share we have been living together for about six years and have two wonderful children to allow her to do so fast forward to present day and emma's condition has taken a toll for the worse the doctor's opinions on her current state are that she will likely not last another six months but they informed us that she qualifies for an experimental treatment that could possibly slow or even stop the cancer currently ravaging her body something i initially felt was fantastic news sadly this is where my personal dilemma begins this potentially life-saving treatment is incredibly costly so costly in fact mary has no way of affording it and her sister's insurance will not even entertain the idea of funding experimental treatment mary recently came to me and asked me to please help her fund the procedure she knows that i have a bit of an inheritance from my grandfather's passing and a savings account i have paid into since i was 18. without divulging the full extent of my saving or the cost of the treatment i can say my savings are at a low seven figure some and that i would be left with about ten percent of it after funding the treatment i can honestly say i panicked when she asked me maybe it makes me selfish but i had no desire to give up that amount of money to help emma quite frankly i'm not even fond of them she was never kind to me before growing sick and strongly opposed to my relationship with mary but i understand how much she means to mary and that they share a very deep and loving sisterly bond so i did my best to get along with her and even help mary in supporting her to an extent i told mary the first needed time to think and that perhaps i could help her set up a gofundme but she seemed to know immediately what that meant in our nine years together i don't think i've ever seen her look at me like that with such a combination of hurt and loathing i genuinely don't know what to do riddit i feel terrible that mary is suffering but these savings are something i worked almost my entire life to a crew despite my inheritance most of the money in that account is money i worked like a dog to collect i skipped fancy meals didn't vacation worked multiple jobs with long hours and spent as sparingly as possible with the dream of retiring young and being able to provide for myself and my family while doing so mary of course being included in that dream i'm not ready or willing to start over so that maybe emma will survive i fear i may lose mary over this and i feel disgusted with myself for putting a price tag on a human life but i just can't do it am i the a update for clarification the cost of treatment is an accumulative number that factors in more than just the cost of the medications which i would be required to pay for such as additional medical care relocation and taking over the full cost of her sister's current treatment as her sister was receiving treatment in the dominican republic as a low-income citizen and would need to move to mexico update i just wanted to thank everyone regardless of your opinion for taking the time to read my post and offer your perspective to all the survivors out there reading this to those who have lost someone thank you a million times for sharing your stories with me i received many questions and unfortunately i don't have all the answers i created a list of questions i could find after reading what was honestly a staggering amount of messages for me i didn't think this would catch any real form of attention and expected it to be buried within a day but i digress i will answer the questions to the best of my ability and with as much transparency possible while still maintaining anonymity emma's condition is a form of melanoma she is currently stage four the treatment they are hoping to pursue is cryo immunotherapy the doctor in the dominican republic referred to it as experimental and relatively new unproven method the reason the cost is so high is due to the fact that if emma moved i would take over paying all aspects of her treatment that would include her medications all testing physician pay housing slash relocation and based on the timeline alive in caretaker for hospice care emma and mary have very little living family left and what little does remain is a no financial condition to donate such large sums five-point friends will no longer donate funds this is not a new condition for emma as i stated in the original post my wife started handling payments eight months ago but before that emma had already received various donations when the cancer was not so advanced the hospitals being used in both the dominican republic and mexico have good reputations from what i could gather i at this point cannot prove or disprove that this is a scam unscrupulous people are everywhere and as one ready to put it the doctor may have drank the kool-aid the choice to not get married was mary's she has a very negative view on it due to a complex personal history that i don't feel is my place to speak further on i'm not ludicrously wealthy i have a decent job and save heavily i have been doing so for more than 20 years i have since spoken to mary she is upset but following the numerous bits of advice generously offered here i believe i have bypassed a worse cine rio she is upset she is hurting but she agrees that our children's well-being should go first she is staying at her sister's side and has asked for some space while she goes over her feelings i have spoken to emma she has told me that i'm a monster and that i will burn in hell for taking even a one percent chance from her if i wear religious i'd likely agree this isn't about the money this is about security i grew up very poor my father was our soul provider and he lost his ability to pursue his career of choice very early on due to an illness i watched my father work himself to death i honestly believe if we had more money at the time my father would still be with us my wife and i have been married for 12 years and the nephew in question is my brother's oldest son who i'll call michael for this post michael is 16 and the oldest of my brothers two boys michael was a baby when my wife and i got together and she has always treated him and my brother's other son-like family just the same as she treats her own siblings kids my wife has a significant inheritance and we both earn generous wages and it was her idea to open college savings accounts for michael and his brother when they were babies this is likely to be the only family money for college they'll receive anyway the story last weekend my brother and the boys came over for dinner and we all had a nice time though the youngest one was on his switch the whole time and michael was on his phone i didn't think anything of it until the following tuesday when i found my wife sobbing after work and she showed me an instagram post made by michael who apparently is too stupid to realize we both follow him as do his grandparents he posted a picture of my wife from behind and a picture he apparently took of her underwear laid out on our bed both mocking her size she is overweight and calling her a big b among other things my wife was devastated and humiliated and hurt because she's always had a good relationship with him i'm furious and want to cancel his college savings account right now taxes be damned my wife says she'd be too embarrassed to do this since she's an adult and shouldn't be so hurt by a child and just wants to pretend it didn't happen i already told his dad and let his dad deal with it at home but i'm still furious and want to cancel the account monday will i be the a if i did this is it too much he won't have any family money for school if i do but that isn't my problem if he comes into my home and violates my wife's privacy and disrespects her like that i'm the youngest of four siblings when i was little my oldest sister got sick doctors said she had less than two years to live she was only 19. my dad was pretty successful my mom died when we were kids life changed course completely everything was about my sister my dad quit his job and escorted my sister around the world it was her dream to travel i was three when she was diagnosed but i knew it was the right thing she needed to fit as much life into her time as possible after a year she was doing way better than expected she was deteriorating slowly but the inevitable remained my dad made the decision that she would never have to work that she would be completely free to follow her dreams he called in every favor every friend my dad was a successful guy and if she had a few years they would be perfect i was raised by my 14 year old brother and sometimes my aunt when i was older i started helping i'd dispense medicine buy groceries cook clean everything her condition made hard we ate the same diet she hated having to look at food she couldn't have i pulled out of school so i could help her full time i home showed myself and my sister taught me she got married when i was 19 and i moved home her husband was great they were happy i studied hard i took the act i scored near perfectly i got into an ivy league university with scholarships work study and far i was supporting myself my first year went well but college is hard in my second year my sister's health declined she didn't have much time she told me that she knew she was gonna die that she knew our lives had been affected by her condition she knew we'd given up an enormous amount so that she could live life it meant a lot to me my grades disintegrated i drove nine hours every weekend to see her between the time stress and exhaustion i pulled out d's and b's my scholarship is gone she passed in early summer after her death my dad lost it more than ever he isn't concerned about us he hasn't worked in 20 years and doesn't have much left what he does have he's using to retire before she passed she said that she had left each of us her siblings a part of her trust everything else would go to her husband thing is i haven't seen or heard anything it's been months summer is ending and my scholarship is gone i'm panicking i can't pay for school i don't have credit and my dad isn't going to pay i've talked about this to my other sister who asked me if i'd been told the same thing she's confused but she's finished college and has a job and doesn't think we should bring it up i feel like such a d4 wanting to ask my bill and my dad about it maybe she forgot maybe it just slipped she was dying but i can't deny i'm a little suspicious of her husband and our dad am i the a4 questioning where my inheritance is after my sister's death i feel like a nur but we'd been through so much and this wasn't like her please [Music] help [Music] [Music] you

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit stepmother, reddit inheritance, reddit money, reddit family, reddit, r/ askreddit, r/ girl, r/ stepmother, r/ inheritance, r/ money, r/ family, r/ revenge, r/ prro revenge, pro revenge, askreddit girl, askreddit stepmother, askreddit inheritance, askreddit money, askreddit family, askreddit

Id: rvb6z3tqGko

Length: 17min 31sec (1051 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 07 2020