My best friend is pregnant with my fiancé's child

[Music] I've always had trouble trusting people my family is not full of the best people and as a result I had a hard time trusting people I try to be nice and a good person but I'm one of those people who will help someone but then be terrified to ever ask for any help back I met my best friend in high school 27 female 2 she helped me out a few times with my family problems letting me stay at her place and such and I've been loyal to her since I've let her stay at my place helped her pay off debts find the job listen to all her problems helped her move away from her ex all those types of things she'd always welcome in my home and I considered her a sister I met my boyfriend in university he was my first everything and he went way way out of his way to make sure I trusted him I love and appreciate him for this in ways I can't describe I have always done everything I could think of to make him happy from just telling him that I love and appreciate him daily to back massages to gifts to painful things to trying whatever he wanted in bed people saw us together and would say how sickeningly cute we are and it wasn't any different when we were alone I really thought I was a good girlfriend he told me looking me right in the eyes that no one made him feel as loved and appreciated as I do he told me this a month or so ago six months or so ago he said he was going to propose to me soon I've never pressured him for it I never imagined being lucky enough to be married I was ecstatic at the idea of it but he said he was going to be using his phone to set things up so I couldn't check it for a long time because I'd ruined the surprise he and I had had an open phone email etc policy since day one even before he ever knew about my trust issues we just aren't very private people and these days since we share all our friends a text to one of us is usually a text to both of us he looks at my phone when I'm too busy to and I usually look at his to read his messages to him when he's busy it's just how we are but I agreed not to look to not ruin any surprises so I haven't looked at his phone in months yesterday we threw a little dinner party for our friends we recently moved to a new place with windy roads so I was afraid of people getting lost on their way there my boyfriend said to make sure to answer any calls while he showered in case they were lost I got such a call I helped but when I ended the call there were messages opened with my best friend I didn't want to look but it's hard not to have your eyes jump to a word like dark instantly I don't want to repeat anything but it generally was a message explaining how she couldn't wait to sneak off during this dinner party to have s within once again there were a lot of mention of what she'd enjoyed the last time with messages from my boyfriend agreeing I just went nah I scrolled up and these messages went on for months essentially to when he'd said he was going to propose to me he hadn't been acting differently I hadn't either my best friend has been talking to me exactly the same as always I just don't understand I can't understand they know how destroyed I would be by this they know how devastating cheating is to me my boyfriend knows I'd always he rather break up amicably with me than cheat even if it meant breaking up with me five seconds before he had s with someone else I love these people more than anything I can't understand what I did to have them feel I deserve this I don't understand why he couldn't break up with me and maybe date behind my back then when he no longer owes me anything if he was afraid of ruining my relationship with her I didn't know what to do I just put the phone back and sort of Nunnelly went through the dinner my best friend and boyfriend went to get asparagus in the middle of it which my boyfriend had conveniently forgotten to get that morning and the first store they went to had conveniently been closed so it had taken almost an hour I excused myself to cry in the bathroom for a little while and when I came out one had noticed I think my friends had a lovely time even though I was out of it that night he hugged me close and whispered about how much he loves me and couldn't wait to marry me how proud he was at the party I set up how he wanted more of them with a life with me I'm at a friend's now she doesn't know what's wrong I told her I feel sick and she's been trying to get me to just relax I feel too ill to go to work which I know is a pathetic excuse I just don't know what to do I don't know what I did I want to ask them but I don't think I could handle a conversation in a product of all mature manner my boyfriend and I share everything that I don't want anything I want my self-respect back I want my self-worth back I want my trust in people back I don't know maybe I didn't deserve them in the first place I just don't know what to do edit thank you everyone for your kind words and some of your less kind but in defensive of me words it's good to be reminded that people are generally more kind than this I think that's what I need most right now : closed bracket my landlord has a reputation for being and forgiving with leases but I'm going to go over everything with a lawyer and see what I can do in the meantime my work doesn't have a concrete schedule so I'm going to be spending my nights working and the morning when my boyfriend is gone home sleeping and packing my things I'm going to try and hang out with some of my friends more to avoid being home but I do not want to involve them in my problems so I will avoid talking to them about it I'm hoping a lawyer will help be find a way out of the apartment if not I think everyone's right about me not staying even if I need to continue paying rent I will try to find the cheapest place possible and make what I can of it even if I have to room with the family of 10 for 3 more months I don't think I'm going to confront him or her I would rather just fade out of their lives I may leave a letter to my boyfriend explaining everything when I do go but I don't even want to do that honestly I just don't want to see or hear from either of them again I want to forget about them and convince myself that some people are worth trusting and it was only those two and not me who made the mistake again thank you everyone for your support through this you helped me keep a level head and think through things well I have forgiven them both and my friend will be my maid of honor at our wedding haha no not at all that I couldn't resist putting that I'm so so sorry but enough has happened where I feel most people will feel the situation is as / as I do I'm sorry this is so long but I want to answer as many questions as possible so many people were either motivated or touched by my story and I don't want them left wondering and worrying I'm also sorry it took so long I don't have a computer at the moment so I've been using my friends at work or at her home I used it for the original post as well it actually caused a little confusion and embarrassment because I forgot to log out once but that's not relevant so after the post the first thing I did was text my ex that I needed to work all night so I could avoid going home I work in a lab so I just spent all night running my experiments while talking with a friend back in my hometown I wanted time to break away from the bills bank everything before I told my ex that I knew I know this deception is wrong that I don't regret it I still didn't know what I wanted to do with our mutual friends but many people insisted I needed someone to talk to so I called up an old friend who hadn't yet met my ex in personal enough occasions to consider him a friend he was like an older brother to me growing up and his wife like a wonderful older sister I will call the man big brother friend and W his wife M is a lawyer and so I wanted to talk to him for two reasons though I know every state has its own laws but it was good to tell someone in person and have someone who knew me personally to tell me I wasn't wrong w was absolutely furious for me but M helped me calm down and set up a list of things I needed to do and get my name off of by the end of the night I felt ready and I fell asleep on the couch in our neighboring lab for a few hours until I could return to the apartment when my ex wouldn't be home when I got there I started to pack my things I don't own very much most of the things I his he likes things his way and I never owned much in my life so it wasn't too difficult I also spent a few hours calling places to get my name off the various things we had both our names on I'm ashamed to say that doing that made me break down crying on some poor person on the phone and after that i napped for a little while because I felt exhausted I awoke to knock on the door I opened it and there were a man W I couldn't believe it they'd brought their son to Em's mothers and hopped the first plane they could to me their son sends me cute little letters sometimes so they always have my addresses W started crying and hugged me while them looked over my lease agreement and checked with my state's laws online for a bit to get a general idea he then took me down to my landlords office while W started to pack up the rest of my things long story short it turns out the landlord really likes me there are these little kids who belong to our downstairs neighbors that I play with and help with their homework sometimes turns out those are the landlord's nieces and nephew the landlord was very upset for me M only told him that my ex had found someone else and I wanted to move out and said he would let me out of the lease he said if I wanted to find someone to sublet I said I felt terrible he'd helped me set that up I was very happy it ended so well and made me spend the rest of the day breaking off my accounts setting up a Pio box and making sure my things got sent there getting my things into storage and setting up my own bank account W suggested cleaning out the joint account out but I only took what I knew I'd been saving up the last few months from each of my paychecks it should be enough for me to continue living and paying off my student loans and the other things I'm still paying for I didn't touch n other savings we never split things one way or another and even though over half the savings is technically mine I just don't really want it we also made sure the landlord saw the state the apartment was in when we left so no one could say we broke anything I did decide to leave a letter saying I try to help find a subletter if I could that I wouldn't make any promises and I would do so through the landlord and only the landlord and I signed it your ex-girlfriend and though I'm both a little proud and a little ashamed of this I did what opposed to suggested as a joke and left three asparagus spears with the last one snapped in half I felt both terribly proud and embarrassed that I was so proud for doing that M&W took me to their hotel room they got two beds so I could have my own they wouldn't let me pay them back for the storage or for the room or the lunch they made me eat I wasn't hungry but W stuffed my face which is good because she was right I did need to eat W took my phone they said I wasn't allowed that night and I agreed and changed my facebook status to single for me while I cried myself to sleep again when I woke up M&W caught me up at first X kept texting asking where I was for an hour but then after a while my phone started to really blow up I'm glad I didn't read the messages myself especially not as they were coming I don't think I could have handed it it started with nothing happened then - it only happened once - she seduced me - I was drunk - she are me - I don't know why I did it - lots and lots of apologies mixing with anger about how could I do this to him I was supposed to become his wife he's done so much for me I felt so terrible my ex-friend also started texting trying to tell me about the same types of things that he'd seduced her he dug she was sorry why was I such a B when she'd been R etc etc W wouldn't pick up their calls and my voicemail box filled up after one voicemail I'm glad I bother deleting them a lot of people had told me to tell our mutual friends but I was still undecided at that point however this problem solved itself my ex friend I think in hopes I would believe her our story made a pubic FAFSA book post saying how my boyfriend had a her and thus was why I had broken up my boyfriend not wanting to be accused of are posted a screenshot of their texts she deleted the entire post but some of our friends had watched the drama unfold and well now everyone knows the truth either way I feel good I wasn't the one who said anything to anyone though I started getting messages from all my friends offers of support offers of places to stay all sorts of love friends I haven't spoken to in years have been sending my messages with sorts of support people I played basketball with in middle school people I played D&D with in high school people I played chador and with and made cosplays with in college people I took Judah with in grad school I was getting support and sympathy from everywhere it was very overwhelming and I ended up crying myself to sleep again haha I've been doing this a lot M&W stayed with me one more day and paid for the hotel room for a few more days for me I told them not to the w said they paid so I could live there or I could let it go to waste after they left some of my friends from a nearby city drove down to my hotel room with an gamma cube and I got to pay smash brothers for a few days with them like we had in college I kept my phone off and generally put all my time and effort into my research and volunteer work I changed my schedule up so my X and X friend couldn't know when where to find me and that worked for a while I'll mention this in a bit at work one day I heard a student saying how their friend was looking to switch apartments with someone she couldn't stand her terrible roommates they were loud rude obnoxious ruined her relationships were always dirty etc I've had terrible roommates much worse than that and I survived fine I could definitely manage until December and this girl sounded like she really needed somewhere to go so I met up with the girl and my landlord and then he met up with her and my ex supposedly and I met up with us and we essentially switched apartments I don't know how my ex took this but my landlord made it happen so I guess he really wanted to rent or it really appealed to him how pretty that girl was she is very fit and very attractive she takes very good care of herself so I moved into this new place I admit I was pretty stupid and didn't think to see it in person before signing everything and just looked at the pictures she'd offered em chewed me out for this later I was still sort of in an emotional haze and just wanted a place to sleep a few hours a day that wasn't with friends she lived in a house with five gentlemen she got a bedroom and bathroom all to herself and they'd been letting her have it for a fraction of my half of the rent back in our two-bedroom one-bath they helped me move they helped me clean up the girls room it was horrendous she left trash and stains everywhere and her bathroom was worse but I've cleaned many a bathroom in my life when they saw I had no bed one of them even made me take his air mattress I'm fine with sleeping on a blanket on the floor I did a lot growing up they are also nice graduate students and students who all like video games sports cartoons and comic books all things I love as well they are also nice and polite and the rest of the house was in great shape so I have to admit I was really confused I brought some treats I made at a friend's place one day and they let me play Mortal Kombat with them and they cleared things up for me a bit as it turns out the girl was the terrible roommate and they were the ones demanding she leave she tried to cause drama and fights between all these men had been attacking the girlfriend one of them had rest are single but this guy's been with this girl since high school constantly stealing and breaking their things constantly acting terrible if they brought any girls over and embarrassing them if they had guys over they had asked her to leave and she'd been making their lives even more of a hell for the past month or so I called my old landlord to tell him about the state her room had been him that he'd laughed and said my ex deserved it I was rather shocked but well I don't really know what the right thing to do anymore about this is I don't want to talk to my ex about it but maybe I need to warn him I don't know and says it's not my business and my other friends do too but I feel like I'm in the wrong here I already love the new place I'm living in my house mutts appreciate me cooking and demanded to pay for all my groceries since I make food for everyone they made a food jar that they put their money into that could be used to buy food for everyone they even have a washing machine inside it's never had to not leave to wash my clothes I feel like a princess they've let me wash their clothes too one day when I thought they weren't home I was singing along to a song and dancing and I didn't hear them coming instead of making fun of me they ended up all dancing along and till I noticed they were there I couldn't stop laughing seeing weightlifters dancing and singing along to single ladies and all that bass was too much for me my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much that day even better they have a dog a gorgeous husky my ex was allergic but I've always wanted one so much and they let me feed him and walk him and play with him and they even let him sleep with me he's so amazingly gentle and loving and I have problems sleeping alone and he makes me feel so safe anyway onto simbad my ex tried to show up at my work a few times when I was there but my lab has good security and thankfully I had always been the one to visit his work for lunch so none of the security here recognizes him and wouldn't let him anywhere close I told them later to please not let him in and thank them for not doing so until then unfortunately the one I was forced to talk with was my ex friend she waited at one of the places where I volunteer at for an entire day hoping I would show up and I did I tried to leave before she saw me but she did and she grabbed me and demanded I talk to her I told her I had nothing to say and he kept demanding I talked I told her she wasn't the friend I thought she was she wasn't my friend at all I knew they'd been doing it a long time I knew it wasn't her I knew they did it during the dinner - I broke up with him and I'm not a friend anymore either I told her I wasn't going to even tell anyone that she and my ex did that for me and I was sorry they messed up but she should never ever lie about our she constantly tried to cut me off and make things up that I wouldn't budge and in the end she broke down crying and apologizing and begging me to still be her friend that I was like a sister I said a sister wouldn't have asked with her sister's boyfriend there was no reason in the world for that I tried to leave but she kept blocking my path and I was scared if I so much as touched her she'd charge me with her or something I started crying too because seeing her so hurt made me ache too despite everything she broke down further though she admitted what I think may be the truth she said she was always so jealous of me and my happy life we came from the same place as kids not true I was extremely poor with the family involved with rnc while she had a loving middle-class family she's always made up reasons to not appreciate them and pretended they were a for doing things like grounding her for smoking but I ended up so much better I do have a job I loved and had a stable relationship but overall I'm a boring person she goes to parties and tries D and went across Europe and Asia and she was the one with whirlwind romances and men always wanting her things she said to me as examples of why her life is so fun throughout the years and she always told me how boring I was and how she was the lucky one so I didn't quite understand but I don't think I ever quite well when my boyfriend approached her to look for rings turns out he actually did so I guess I have that sort of at least she just wanted to see what I had so she spent the day flirting with him and apparently practically tore his pants off when he dropped her off at her place he was surprised but didn't fight it and they both enjoyed the thrill so much it just kept happening seems pretty premeditated considering they planned when how to meet up but okay she also then admitted she just went to the doctor and found out she's two months pregnant and doesn't know what to do I started crying a lot harder but all I told her was good luck with her pregnancy but I wasn't and was never going to be her friend again and then I just kept apologizing thankfully someone at the center heard me crying and came over and it scared my ex-friend away I called my ex friend's mother and sister and told them my ex friend really needed them right now and they may want to come to her place in person I told them I couldn't help it broke my heart because her mother and sister were like family to me when I needed them most but I'm not going to try and ruin a girl's reputation with her family I admit I'm horribly irrationally jealous about her being pregnant I've wanted a baby so badly the last few years but he said he wasn't ready and I stayed on birth control and he used to see and in my friends description she made it clear she's gotten him not to use one I'd never tried to ask him not to but for it to be so easy and at the same time I'm so so sad for my ex friend she's incredibly religious and I know being pregnant outside of marriage is destroying her but I called who I could and as terrible as I feel for not being there I need to keep her away from me I just keep reminding myself that no matter how much I'd want to help I'm not in a state where I could anyway I hope that's the right way to think for those wondering I have gotten tested for STDs pretty much right away my lab is next to a hospital that I volunteer at and so far I'm clear but I'll get checked again every few months until I'm sure I don't have something like H I don't feel like my ex-friend would have this but I never imagined she'd have s with my ex without protection either so I don't know how honest she'd been to me about her previous exploits anymore or my ex either for the mater my ex has tried to contact me through a lot of people but none of my friends are allowing him to know where I'm living or what I'm doing and are not agreeing to bring me his letters or other messages he's come to my friends crying and saying he messed up but my friends have been rather cold to him so far I told them they don't need to hate him but they told me I didn't get to choose that for them and they are right people in my last post convinced me I need to let them feel what they all feel and it is my fault I'm still crying constantly questioning things and looking back but so so many people have stepped up to help me old friends mutual friends new friends a dog even strangers on the Internet I feel so absolutely loved and lucky I have my work to focus on volunteering getting to know my new roommates friends I'm keeping busy I even mentioned going to the gym but being too shy to and three of my roommates jumped at the chance to help me so I've been going to the gym a bit too everyone now knows about my ex and ex friend and many have gone out of their way to make sure I don't interact with either my friends are constantly assuring me everywhere a few are checking my messages and texts for me to delete any sent from unknown numbers for me I'm in the process of just getting a new phone and phone number I've not accepted any new friend requests after blocking both of them except my new roommates and the girlfriend one of them has she's been amazingly nice to me and I have a friend also checking my other box and blocking people from there for me I don't need to worry about an or anything of that sort because I never took any not attractive enough to warrant them haha I've blocked all non-work-related emails from my work email and I just deleted my other old email addresses and started a whole new one they're mostly for spam anyway I will admit a few people have asked me out and I will admit the idea of ever dating again ever allowing someone in like that again terrifies me I have set up to talk to a therapist I've had one when I was younger and it never helped in fact it made things a lot worse for a long time yes I tried several therapists yes ones who specialize in different things yes ones who tried different techniques and approaches it just made me feel worthless as a team when I couldn't change my outlooks but I'm hoping it may help in this situation I wouldn't know how to date even if I wanted to anyway I've only ever been with my ex I never thought anyone else would ever want me nor did I ever want anyone to so I'm going to see if I can ever get over that overall I'm hurt and betrayed and terrified but I also feel at peace and so grateful to other people I feel like that chapter of my life is closed and a beautiful and new one is beginning I feel free I feel happy I feel loved thanks so much you everyone I don't expect there to be anything else I need to update anyone with [Music] [Music] you

Channel: R Girl

Views: 156,397

Rating: 4.9254236 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit pregnant, reddit marriage, reddit fiance, reddit best friend, reddit pregnancy, reddit revenge, reddit po revenge, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ pregnant, r/ marriage, r/ fiance, r/ best friend, r/ pregnancy, r/ revenge, r/ pro revenge, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit pregnant, askreddit marriage, askreddit fiance, askreddit best friend, askreddit pregnancy, askreddit

Id: KmMZvZgycCM

Length: 27min 53sec (1673 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 09 2020