Losing IQ Points Watching 5 Min Crafts

hello everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel or welcome to my youtube channel i'm call me chris and you can call me chris and today we are watching some five minute crafts because i hate myself and i love you guys and you guys wanted me to do this so here we are also i know you guys enjoy when i try them so i'm going to guilt you into liking this video if we get it to we'll be realistic again we'll get it to 80 000 likes i will do some five minute crafts for you because honestly they are pretty enjoyable they're pretty fun and it's just so you don't have to you're welcome i know i'm doing a service anyway let's uh oh wait oh my god i forgot to compliment you but don't think i didn't notice your eyeballs watching me because they're sparkling wow beautiful love it okay let's get into the video [Music] we got some noodles all right those are some long long-ass noodles what brand of mr noodles is this what that i'm not getting i would i would like these and where is she going with these noodles this is so dramatic i can't i can't sharpen your shears why did it take eight to get through noodles okay unless those noodles are just like rope those aren't actually noodles it's fake oh my god she has scissors twirl it dwell it just gonna miss it it's really that simple but or you could be an idiot like you continue okay oh mcdonald's is this sponsored wait wait wait did five-minute crafts actually do something useful good job five minute crafts you're not complete idiots wow also that's not very realistic because if i meet mcdonald's i am eating it in my car in the mcdonald's like parking lot with the sun visors down to like block anybody that can see me i have like five different sauces on the dashboard i'm eating my mcdonald's in my car and shame okay i'm not walking around with my mcdonald's like like nobody's doing that also you shouldn't be ashamed to eat mcdonald's and and screw any of those people that are just like i haven't eaten mcdonald's in like eight years like nobody gives a [ __ ] britney okay go eat your non-gmo sugar-free gluten-free lactose-free depression-ridden salad somewhere else no coins the key you need because what if your key isn't the perfect size and then it gets stuck and then you don't have a key they can't get into your car which means you can't get into your house which means you you take that grocery cart and you you take it to the streets because now you're homeless thanks five minute crafts noodles noodles again why is the bowl so small what is that that's so tiny that's like a soya sauce dish i'm eating noodles in like a salad bowl you know so not eating salad i eat a plethora of noodles does anybody else anybody else eat noodles in a soy sauce bowl no yes no weird thought i know this is strange it's called a ponytail get your hair out of your face okay probably do it for other activities too i'm abstinent i'm sorry i'm gonna continue the video what's the solution okay okay so picture this i'm at a sushi restaurant okay and my hair is flip-flopping in my face okay and i can't eat my noodles all right what am i gonna do just take my clothes off all right buzz there we go then i'm gonna get kicked out of the restaurant okay or get my meal for free either way maybe it would work i'll try it i'll get back to you got a water gun colgate toothpaste if they put the toothpaste in that gun i swear to god i swear to that's exactly what that's what they're doing if i went over to a guy's house a girl's house whatever and they had a water gun filled with toothpaste i would marry them simple as that see this this water gun stream oh see she's into it she's into it that looks gross but okay parchment paper eggs what is this what is that on is that hack what is that i don't even know what that was you didn't explain it and those eggs look fake whose eggs look like that i don't i like scrambled eggs so this is irrelevant to me we got some flour and some eggs and some mixing what are we making cookies uh i could go for some cookies right now every what are you doing what are you doing what is this what can you make noodles like that um this might be one that i have to try because i don't believe that i don't believe that for a god damn minute that that makes noodles get this video to 80 000 likes so i can try this please sun-dried tomato paste i disassociated what happened right there can't open it okay oh rubber glove i think i need to get like checked out i mean you can check me out but like also by a doctor okay a gross salad with gross onions disgusting and they're using a potato peeler to peel the onions it just seems counterproductive but okay a lemon a dried lemon who's doing that nobody's doing that i'm throwing that lemon out stop lay's chips okay fried chicken cheese fried bacon fried onion what's happening here what's going on what is cilantro i don't like cilantro does you like cilantro no cilantro gang say no cilantro gang down in the comments below if you're not solid choking because it's disgusting and it tastes it tastes like soap what are they putting eggs in there is that what that was spoil the bag oh oh my god cancer omelettes my favorite what the [ __ ] nobody why would you we i don't know yeah that looks like a tumor cancer omelette delicious five-minute crafts trying to kill you earlier than you're supposed to how many crafts [Music] uh-huh those look disgusting all right we got a circle a perfect circle oh she can't draw a circle i want to try to draw a circle now oh my god we got paper i got a pen no cheating okay here and then circle okay that wasn't that bad oh that's really bad that looks like caillou's head okay never mind what's the solution don't you put them on scissors or something is that what they're gonna do i'm so smart i'm smarter than five minute crafts yeah yeah you could cheat if you wanted to it's pretty lame if you ask me uh-huh yeah yeah no irrelevant i have no desire to draw circles so jokes on you five minute grass all right something's in the oven did she just i'm sorry let's get an instant replay on that i'm pretty sure she pulled a pizza out of the oven with the goddamn bare hands yep she did uh do you have superheroes working for you they're five minute crafts is this gonna be a solution to fix the third degree burns are we about to see that that's not happening no your [ __ ] oh i think my sisters have that which i didn't know that that's what that's for okay fine i'll give you that who is dousing their pizza with olive oil even pizza's like oily enough but all right teach their own sweaty or it's raining and this is a good segue into the sponsor of today's video which is vesey i did not plan that i didn't plan that a big thank you to vessi for sponsoring this video i absolutely love this brand so much i i wear vessies almost every day and you all know how much i advocate for besties absolutely love them i love them for so many reasons they're 100 waterproof which you know where i live it literally rains all the time so that is an absolute lifesaver for me and they're also so breathable it doesn't feel like they are 100 waterproof it doesn't feel like your feet are sweating all the time which is great they're lightweight and they are also vegan which is i i love that they're completely creature free and that is super important to me and also i'm going to be going traveling really soon and i find vessy's the easiest shoe to pack okay i could fit like 10 pairs of essies if i really wanted to into my suitcase so it's super super travel friendly which i love too and they come in all sorts of styles i love them i love them so much and if you guys would like to try out some bessies you can use code kmk at checkout for 25 off if you click the link below in the description and thank you again to bessie for sponsoring this video i love you back to the video and we're back we have wet shoes what do we do what do we do carl i feel like he's a carl you know doesn't he look like a carl what do you what is this contraption carl where uh carl i should ask you a question where do i get plumbing materials uh like to dry my shoes i just am curious are we supposed to have that just lying around our house i feel like only serial killers would have this material you know just in case like they're putting body parts down the toilet then i need to like fix their plumbing i don't don't ask me why i know that i just listened to a lot of weird podcasts anyway let's continue oh no you can't put my shirt on no carl not helpful at all what's carl going to do about it he's uh carl's got all the solutions an umbrella no no i want to try this one but i need a friend to try it okay get this video to 80 000 likes because i want to try this one i'm going to hire a friend and we're going to try this one because that is [ __ ] ridiculous that would have ruined her hair she's like oh no i can't put a shirt on because my hair is getting all messed up and then she's like just put a plastic umbrella on top of my head that'll be the solution carl carl carl car craw car call card podcast carl again okay cool oh we can't see our phone okay what's the solution what are you doing what do you do carl no you're gonna die five minute crash is trying to kill you man that's how people die what do you do god damn it somebody save carl somebody can't crawl out of five minute craps okay he's you're gonna kill him there he is again has he been in all of the videos have i just noticed that carl's in all of these videos i was feet stink oh here's a thought change your socks i know it's weird i know hire me five minute crafts what's the solution though what is the bizarre solution that we have here band-aids essential she gonna put band-aids all over his feet on a fan oh my gosh just go wash your feet stop being disgusted and go wash your feet go to the shower just wash your feet you don't even gotta wash your whole body carl okay just wash your feet honestly it's her fault she should have said this i'm gonna name her susan she looks like a susan that is the smallest bed i've ever seen in my cat damn wife okay that's like a bed for toddlers what's oh she can't get a shoelace on time oh he's gonna do it for her that's sweet ah carl he's not strong enough it's not strong enough a bobby pin [Music] i mean okay i'll allow it i feel like i saw my christopher walk in there for a second okay if your shoelace is too tight you can fix it with a bobby pin or two and you need carl as well a fan okay hot glue gun classic five-minute crafts who has that nobody chopsticks what [Music] there's this weird contraption it's called a fork you can also do that or you can waste 30 minutes of your life and make this thing that'll probably break in two seconds but i know you know get a tv or get a better girlfriend she's gonna be a [ __ ] oh what are they that kind of looks fine you get a little blanket and then you're just like lying on the floor and stuff can i just like put that in my room that how would that work no knowing me i would die and it would fall on my face through the night and crush my head that would that'd probably be how i would die i want to die in like an epic way you know that's that's kind of sad i'm gonna stop talking about dying let's just keep going cheese grater plastic bag garlic okay yeah that works that works i'm not like physically upset about that one i respect it plastic bag food coloring gel what is going on what is happening what's going on what's going on why does that look like blood what is going on [Music] oh it puts a little ribbon in it you didn't show me how you put the other stuff in you're just half-assing it five minutegrass okay cup with thin glass or hear me out just hear it out connect okay i know but i think it could work looks disgusting that looks like vomit probably tastes good though what is that rice mixed with flour sewing needle rice mixed with flour and sewing needle into plastic bottle okay what why is your rice mixed with flour what scenario is my rice mixed with flour and i need to and i need to do that also strainer weird i know i don't get the situation at all now you're just making [ __ ] up five minutes i don't know i don't know anymore magazine holder okay water bottle that is so dumb you could have fit probably like 10 more things in that space if you didn't put those [ __ ] magazine holders in there that is such a weird array of things too a water bottle ham a lemon what is this ketchup no no or you could just not shove everything in there like your five-year-old and just put everything up right i don't know noodles broken toilet what the flying [ __ ] is going on let it soak in gorilla glue are you gonna whittle the noodles down are you fixing your toilet with noodles are you [ __ ] what is going on no okay if this video gets to 80 000 likes i will break my toilet and fix it with noodles okay that's something everybody wants to see all right oh my god this one this is supposed to be five minute crafts this looks like a at least a five hour job at least are we just going to leave the noodles like that is are we are we gonna paint it too what is going on what is going on oh yeah we're painting it i know it it's a non-perishable item but like wouldn't it go bad at some point i don't know why i'm asking questions glue rice more glue rice are we we're doing it with rice now are we doing this with rice now oh just just leave it or get a new chair what the i hate everything about this maybe instead of breaking my entire toilet i will break a chair and fix it with rice okay wow wow that looks terrible this is so dumb this is so dumb this is so dumb this is dumb i hate it i hate everything about it again five hour crafts is what you should change your name to no i'm i don't want to see these anymore stop fixing eggshells now eggshells oh my god oh this is so dumb how many eggs were murdered in the making of this video you know how many eggs were wasted now i'm sounding like a vegan teacher oh my god she who we shall not speak of uh-huh i swear to god what is going on now what is this what are we doing is that i don't even understand what's going on oh sunflower seeds are you [ __ ] serious right now now i gotta this looks like so much work oh my god and they're varnishing it and they're painting it and five hour crafts again look at this and now they're doing an art project or bob ross on this table this is like a 10-hour craft but you know what i will give it to them it looks very nice it doesn't look very nice so i will give them that but that is all i will get them don't you hate when that happens when you walk in and you just oh my headphones i really gotta get wireless headphones that didn't really work when you walk in and you're like oh my chair then you just ow what happened oh she lost a stool thing how would the chair even be standing up if that happened it would be on the ground already and you use your scissors as a makeshift screwdriver okay okay they're really grasping at straws now what do you do you're oh that's interesting but who cuts their nails with the scissors like that i use like nail clippers is stupid oh she broke up with her boyfriends oh no and her corkscrew is also broken a lot of things break in for susan here that's unfortunate she just wants that alcohol how did they get footage of me last night i don't understand scissors how is your finger not cut off right now that gives me all kinds of anxiety look at this look at this her finger should be gone i would try that though if i was that desperate i'd be like well finger we're getting [ __ ] unwind white all right everybody i hope you enjoyed the videos some of those some of those like maybe two were like reasonable and then the rest were just absolutely ridiculous and i am physically stupider hence the word stupider since watching it since i put myself through that and for you you need to like the video maybe share with the video if you have friends and subscribe and also hit that little notification bell so you know when i post my next video that would be awesome and i appreciate you guys i love you guys i really i really do appreciate you and i cannot believe that we are at 4 million subscribers that is absolutely bonkers absolutely bonkers we just hit that and i am just absolutely mind blown so i i'm gonna think of something to do to celebrate that because i can't believe that i genuinely can't believe that i don't know why you guys treat me so well but i appreciate you alright you guys have a fabulous day and i will see you in the next video bye [Music] you

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 5,734,353

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Id: Z22mFwbCrCA

Length: 20min 22sec (1222 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 10 2021