Losing Brain Cells watching 5 Min Crafts

hello everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel or welcome to my youtube channel i'm call me chris and you can call me chris and my voice sounds a little different so listen i'm gonna you know what i went away this weekend first time in a long time i had a little too much fun you know what i mean in terms of you know had katrina fun and i'm never drinking alcohol again it's pretty much it's been two days and i'm still hungover yeah i don't know how good this video is gonna be to be honest uh i'm gonna try to crank out the jokes but my brain is not working but we're here we're gonna watch some five-minute crafts and try to get some edumacation today and also i met two little girls on the ferry on the way to the place where i went avery and sammy hey how are you doing i told you i'd shout you out you guys are so sweet all right let's watch some five minute cross and get absolutely furious and maybe throw up let's do it [Music] just go gotta go pee okay respect am i just supposed to have this stuff on me and i have to go pee in my car i have to have foam tape an exacto knife and a water bottle water bottle kind of makes sense but you know what i mean and a drill one second i got it no same i have drilled in my car as well of course plastic tubing and a pair of granny panties of course extra pair it's actually really comfortable this is so dumb okay let's continue oh my god just oh my god i could just picture like a homeless person on the side of the road like what in the [ __ ] is going on i wouldn't use that no x no we gotta go p again is oh this isn't even about peeing it's just life-saving hacks whatever ah an exacto knife again i'll make sure to keep that in my purse and a disposable chair you can just cut a hole into i'll and an umbrella i gotta be taking notes oh my god okay let's see chair exact knife an umbrella okay what else we got oh tree in vicinity to hang umbrella shower curtain in backpack got it perfect i'm just gonna go [ __ ] in the bush i'm not gonna make this whole scene okay oh my gosh that was the most dramatic fall ever okay can we see this can we see how dry this [ __ ] bark mulch is and she just had this like dirty ass so let's get a replay what is that it looks like she [ __ ] her pants and she's trying to cover for it i want to see the solution you need solutions here all right this guy's got something in his backpack okay oh i've done this before you can like change pants without actually taking them off nice okay i think that was pretty clever okay oh you know what she just wanted to get in his pants thank you thank you no stop please stop no it was great coming out i had a good time i'm going to be doing shots i'm not going to be doing shots on the back never mind let's move on and a tourniquet nobody has this i'm not getting this i would no no i'm just going to pick it up with my fingernails got a fan also not a craft oh she can't even see she'd be hiking off with her family and they'd be like tammy there's a bear coming like get out of the way go hide and she'd be like what i can't see anything what are you talking about like tammy the bear's right in front of you she'd be like i can't hear anything this fan is really loud and then on the news the next morning breaking news from yesterday coming out of butt nowhere montana usa somewhere i don't know there was a woman and her family going for a hike one of the women decided to put a clip-on fan in front of her stupid face and she did not see the bear coming so she got mauled oh my god that's just terrible time that's terrible to hear you know yeah if you think about it susan the bear wasn't quite a fan of her you know people are dying out here tom people are literally dying out here and you're making jokes i got really distracted there let's get back into this we gotta go to the bathroom again i hate when that happens extendable water urine container what is she is she literally gonna i like how they do fruit visuals like we know that she's gonna pee like you don't need to squeeze an orange juice like i know what she's i don't know what she's doing and she closes it up and puts it in her bed she looks like she's at a pottery barn or something the owner's just like ma'am ma'am you cannot [ __ ] behind the faces that is not no i have to call the police no that is a felony you cannot urinate in public you're going to jail i'm going to go to the bathroom again is everybody out here just [ __ ] in their pants and i'm not aware of this [Applause] i love the visuals they're giving with like two oranges or whatever the hell peaches to like make it look like a butt it's making me not like fruit anymore five minute crafts what else do you want to take for me my take away my love for chocolate you want to take that away from me too ah right yes a a toilet seat stool oh oh i just saw ass is this a youtube video am i on a different site that was a lot i feel like i should have paid for that a little bit just don't ride bikes stop it if you ride a bike stop it nobody likes you just kidding do whatever you want for your fitness and health and whatever you know what am i looking at a butt pad again i just need to go on amazon this isn't a five minute craft five minute crafts they've completely given up on themselves i'm kind of disappointed i kind of want one of those though to make me look like i got a little bit more cake there was no bugs she was spotting at nothing let's get a replay on that oh maybe there was one i'll give it to her what is this contraption a fly catcher a fly catcher like what five minute crafts has given up they've given up they're like we'll just give it all to amazon there's not even a craft in this i'm disappointed it's handy though hmm they have given up okay so you're you're telling me right now that instead i'm just hanging on to any of those open polls there's about five i can count but nobody's hanging on to you're gonna take your [ __ ] stain covered toilet bowl plunger bring it in you know what that might be a good idea if you're like anti-social introvert or whatever and you just want people to give you some space on the bus just bring your freshly used plunger and use it as a people gonna think you're crazy but okay okay this could be handy being taller i don't know why she drew on her leg but okay oh i wish i had this when i was a kid i didn't hit my growth spurt until a little bit later could have got on those rides five minute crafts making me regret my life choices that's a good one check like the only checked one everybody's got to shut the pants again oh my gosh no ew stop oh my god look at that that is the most non-discreet bottle i've ever seen in my get damn life look at that you know that's shaped like a vagine no your car probably smells like pee the hell was that a hanger you could just okay okay all you have to do is take your shirt get one of these hang it over the tree ah music festival this music festival looks lit and i'm really upset i wasn't invited five minute crafts they probably didn't even make that sign that sign looks printed i didn't even make it but your five minute crafts looks like the most boring music festival i've ever seen in my life what's the solution here what is it of course we have to pee uh oh the exacto knife again oh nobody carries this stuff wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait the last time i checked i had to pull my pants down to go to the bathroom to get a stream you know she's just pulling this out of her pant like that doesn't make sense this image makes no sense that's happening right now i have a lot of questions [ __ ] shower head hey rebecca here's an idea dunk in the water that's just just me does that make any sense to anybody else no no yeah no i'll get this it's probably like 50 on amazon where she could just submerge herself just a little bit more what do i know okay where's that who's carrying around wire saws like that's something only a serial killer would have in their front pocket of all places too what are you dwight dwight pulling [ __ ] out of your front pocket that is some i watched too much dateline oh my god i'm sorry but on the right angle you could have just jumped on the branch and it would have brought you a thing a bag in a bag water what's that oh my god another 50 contraption on five-minute crafts okay so i do have that actually it's called a life straw and it's actually really helpful okay so you can like drink water out of the lake and it's clean water so i mean i get it but it's not a five minute craft i gotta boycott five minute crafts this is ridiculous this isn't gonna throw something but i don't wanna throw anything what's that there's those infomercials so the guy like slaps tape onto like the the big thing that's pouring out water i was literally just an infomercial ad i'm really sad right now i didn't think i get sad in this video there's no crafts going on a satellite dish what is that what i think i'm gonna be doing goddamn science class when i'm dying out in the forest no you didn't even show me how to make that first of all you just showed it to me dead battery okay we like these ones you're like a good iphone hack what is this [Music] what's oh that's cool again not a craft but that's cool a little exercise in there too a wrist action probably have to do it for like two hours i'm just trying to get skip the dishes out into the forest load this app she's tired oh a seat okay nice oh my gosh you know what you could do you could use that little steppy thing to do some step ups build up your core okay you just like flopping around like they're like a fish hold some core strength [Music] gosh [Music] mosquitoes okay love a good mosquito hack five minute crafts let me ask you a question right do you think i'm a shaman that just has sage leaves in my back pocket just in case i need to sage a house that has demons in it what do you think i am who just has sage in their pocket not everybody does except for me okay well i guess i'm stupid then but noted i'll bring sage when i go camping now cutlery a mess okay this is a craft respect that craft respect the craft that i like that craft that is good separation it's a little orderly i mean i wouldn't do it but like at least it's a cry [Music] broken eggs not ideal make all the eggs okay [Music] why what do we do with it now eggs are air safe oh okay that's cool if i break a dozen eggs i guess i'll use that hack love it that works though hey if this video gets to a hundred thousand likes i will attempt to do some five minute crafts in a video has to be a hundred thousand i will not take any less and zero dislikes you can dislike the video but you gotta like it too [Music] oh that's that's cool is that eggs [Music] what does that [Music] work what eggs [Music] chick nice fish aren't biting story of my life just wait oh it's just another rock [Music] what i'm alone why are you cutting it on the ground on the dirt no less why are we doing that are you wasting food no respect [Music] are we making a weapon this looks like it takes way too much time what is this used for what the is that it's a fish trap up there's no way that works there's no way off they're just gonna put a fish in this [Music] that's ridiculous i'm not gonna make porcupine watermelon for a fish trap [Music] sorry if you're surviving in the wild where are you gonna find a watermelon okay they're like very limited in season it's some bougie-ass place you're getting lost in the forest that's all i'm saying car stuck in the mud okay [Music] oh [Music] check nice chicken oh raining okay okay you can cover it right so you just need a [ __ ] load of tin foil three metal swords and some seasoned chicken sounds good oh right the pocket decapitator again you gotta get me one of those is going on five minute crafts none of these are crafts well that was that was just as frustrating as the first time i watched them there were some good ones though i have a few takeaways from this i think the best one was all every single one that involved peeing that was too much just go pee in a bush stop it use a leaf all i gotta do anyway if you enjoyed the video please give the video a like it really helps out the channel and it makes me know that you liked the video so i can do more if you have any suggestions or videos put them in the comments below i love reading your comments and also subscribe if you haven't subscribed i don't know why you're not subscribed this is obviously bestest youtube channel in all of history so i think you should probably subscribe i don't know why i just turned the russian have you guys have a fantastic day i'm gonna go lie down and eat some mac and cheese out of a pot so anyway have a good day okay bye [Music]

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 10,338,938

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Id: wAX6ggkVjkE

Length: 17min 45sec (1065 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 08 2021