TikToks that made me Cry Laughing

hello everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel or welcome to my youtube channel i'm call me chris and you can call me chris and uh how you doing today you doing good it's good how am i doing i'm uh i'm all right i meant to do some subtle eyeliner today and really work out went a little off the rails you could slap these things on a jet and probably have 200 passengers and 10 crew and be able to go from new york to london and back on half a tank does that make any sense i don't know anyway today's video uh i wanted to watch some funny stuff you know i feel like like i need some laughs in my life and i'm not going to attempt to do a try not to laugh because i'm going to laugh i know i am so let's watch some funny [ __ ] videos all right let's do that [Music] but before we get into the video i would like to thank today's sponsor which is my favorite vessy you guys know i'm obsessed with bessie's you guys know i wear vessies every single day like every single day doesn't matter what the weather is and what's beautiful and lovely about bessie's is that they are 100 waterproof which i need especially living in the rainy weather and it's we're coming into fall now and it is so nice to have those shoes i could wear them out to dinner i can wear them on a hike i can wear them whenever i love how many styles they have and they're so easy to pack on trips which is great they're so compactable and what's also a huge bonus about bessie's is that they're 100 vegan and creature-free they use water-based adhesives for the glue and their leather and suede are completely engineered so i love that if you would like 25 off your first pair of essays or if you want to get another pair of besties for 25 dollars you can use my code kmk by clicking the link in the description www.bessie.com kmk and get 25 off your pair of vests you're welcome thank you again bessie let's get back to the video bob this is not a good idea oh my god it's fine oh my god i have to watch that one more time the impact like when my mom calls all the kids for supper and she's like where's christina and i'd just be on the roof outside with an umbrella jumping off trying to beat mary poppins i broke a lot of bones as a kid let's move on it says literally what the [ __ ] are you doing i want to be friends with them we'd get along very nicely i also like to dress up as different people what'd you say put it down stop put it on the ground i would just throw it at that point i'd be like this coffee this carpet put it down like those girls there's so much already gone it's like transferring anything from the microwave to the table that's like full i think i want to fight my orthodontist oh this is how i have to wear my rubber bands how do you eat like that oh that's why i don't go to the dentist don't go to the dentist kids it's a joke i don't go to the dentist but you should go to the dentist but i don't jump i'm literally gonna jump from here all the way to the ground already i can't even see how far that is set jump oh my god oh did she break something it went her friend took a video what a legend oh my god that's a far jump she doesn't even look like she's under the influence either this would be like impressing boys at school all the other girls would be like batting their eyelashes or like flipping their hair like flirting with the boys and i'd just be like hey matthew you want to see me parkour triple backflip off the top of the swing set onto this teeter-totter without shattering both of my ankles and if i do would you sit with me at lunch no okay i'm gonna do it anyway oh my god you are hurting him every time you talk about your celebrity crush everything if he's a [ __ ] oh man you can talk about your celebrity crush in front of me i don't give a [ __ ] man i'd probably date leon i would also date leo i would date him too three two one joints oh oh no oh no cleo oh no cleo oh [ __ ] my phone oh they're even australian exactly oh no my phone in the water i think he saw you drop your phone in the water why i don't sneeze in public places part idk at all she sounds like bubbles from powerpuff girls sneezing that's got to be fake that is the cutest little sneeze i've ever heard in my life i love it it's so cute eating three pieces of pizza this kid what a legend oh thank you kids are so weird this kid's just like i must leave this household immediately these these idiots i can't handle them anymore i need a new family i want boys i just don't care if my kids aren't like this i don't want them i don't want them i don't put them back don't put them back oh god i want crazy kids yay i need my kids to match my energy let me eat this camera let me eat this chill chill on the m ms bro [Music] the kid's matching the energy he's like okay you know what i'm just gonna give in i love it a round of applause and watch their reaction oh he's like finally the recognition i deserve i've been protecting this house for eight years making sure squirrels don't infiltrate our yard and that the mailman doesn't break in and kill all of us because i know he's going to the lady at the gas station said have a nice day and i said oh no i said no thank you i thought she was i thought she was gonna ask if i wanted to receive i'm gonna say that next time i pull through mcdonald's like haven't i stayed like no thank you don't tell me what to do that could run in here say it songs oh my god gta strippers gotta take some notes from these gals oh my god oh the stretch hello do you know why i'm here because i'm hungry no let me get one oh let me in sorry about that it's okay oh that probably made his day he like i don't know why i could hear it in his voice he's probably he sounded like he was having a bad day and that probably just made his day i'm gonna say that next time i go through mcdonald's too hey you know why i'm here because i'm hungry [Applause] me getting snacks at 2 am trying not to wake up the whole house oh i hate those rides sideways sideways oh [ __ ] horizontal horizontal that's something i would say if i was drunk and i was like lying down in that accent too a monkey on the car monkey on the car what i would give to be a monkey just live carelessly and roly polio way down a hill yeah maybe the next life my dad making my middle name mario is worse than him trying to sell me i think my allegra just kicked it so much just happened there i want to be friends with her we can bond over our trauma we're about to make a pov for a tick tock you ready you're my chance to shoot her ready what can what can you do other than ballet and brake dance oh i can do all those like exceptionally but i'm i oh my god i think i'm pretty good at attack dance tap dancing yeah want me to tap along this yellow brick road you know what oh my god show me what you got the sass if you ever wonder what it's like to hang out with me this is exactly what it's like nothing is taken seriously it's like hanging out with a cracked out toddler with adhd your man might have the star wars lego set death star but can you chug a sparkling water and not burp chug a sparkling water and not burp can you not chuck a sparkling water and burp that's talent let's see what he's got there's no way he can't burp i'm oh my gosh what do i do wait i need to watch that again what do i do that was so funny oh my god what the dogs the pets are like we hate it here this cat's just hiding under the bench planning how to kill this entire family use this filter to see if your teeth are white [Music] what how are his teeth so yellow oh oh it's paint i would lose that my teeth are very yellow i have an enamel deficiency and i can't even use like any white nurse on my teeth because like the enamel is so bad it's just like it's a uh what's that called it's hereditary it's unfortunate i'll just get dentures i'll be good oh my lips just get stuck this dog looks like a human gets stuck in my teeth he hates it there he wants in it he's like i want a new home now [Music] oh my god i want stilts can you just buy stilts next youtube video husky no no stay outside i wanted a husky but they're so loud i think as we're seeing now [Music] oh my god they're so funny they're like little kids except worse you know what i changed my mind i want a husky i need this crackhead energy in my life now absolutely neighbors are probably just like asking moving next door we gotta move honey get the kids we're leaving don't pack anything we're leaving [Music] i have a girlfriend and she always used to box punch me actually box kick me why why'd you do that it doesn't hurt but it does hurt girls you know so this is my amazon paul stop it the dog's like this is my amazon haul oh my god oh my god like you have a problem jeremy stop buying amazon packages wish my dog would do that to me so i would stop buying amazon packages um selena she's one of my best friends we love selena and adam i only know 25 letters of the alphabet how come i don't know why selena that was the worst one yet selena genuinely laughs like that too she's like i don't even know if she does it i don't know it's a gift it is it's a beautiful chef's kiss laughs pov you're at the opera part too oh i like these guys we would get along so well i would love to participate in this that's good his breathe [Music] that's all i got just realizing that i'm the kind of pretty only girls think is pretty i don't think i'm pretty i think i'm extraordinary boys and girls tell me what you think so extraordinary who wants me i don't want a relationship i want your money hey fair okay oh the puppy's so happy he's a happy happy happy boy beautiful boy that's what i call kevin all the time oh no the nail clippers i'm not doing it baby nothing how did that come out of that pug oh my gosh the most melodramatic dog i've ever seen in my goddamn life next to you even supermodels look like burn victims what a compliment every second that i'm not with you feels like being stomped to death by a horse i want to be waterboarded with your pee your skin is radiant like a mangled chernobyl baby oh my god i love that i love that so much i love dark humor so much and if aaron take notes i'd say that's how you give a woman a compliment just telling you hey baby it's time to go to bed oh my god i had a dream i thought she had a drink i didn't even notice she didn't have a drink am i drunk i wish i was drunk you okay baby no why did you take me drink away oh my gosh [Music] that's cute all the time [Music] my humor is broken oh my god now she's a broccoli oh my god god bless snapchat filters sexy at suck when you're trying to be sexy at 7-eleven oh she's got that kick she's got that ass oh my god what is she doing oh my god oh my god no oh that would be me loves your suit mama baby's first word that was a good one yeah my god that baby was drinking oh mama maya did you say mama the ultimate war this is the only reason why i want kids just so i can have the satisfaction of my child saying mom before dad i should probably have better reasons for having a child but i don't mama what's my name dad this kid's just trolling oh my gosh it's like drinking that thing oh he was so trolling he's like i can say it i'm gonna let you just sit there and aches for a little bit love a baby with an attitude tell me you're drunk without actually telling me you're drunk sometimes i think to myself why don't i have a boyfriend and then i realized it's pretty [ __ ] obvious honestly i'm surprised i even do not coming with riley i might just go for a date a d in australia [ __ ] christ oh scorpion absolutely children bless them oh my god oh oh a spitter why would you even have a pool in australia like there's just going to be anacondas in there and [ __ ] i don't even know those anacondas in australia there's awful creatures there anyways she's jumping in oh my god she is brave thinking about the time my dad felt bad because he threw out my cookie cutters so he went to the garage and made one for me oh that's so sweet why does this cookie look like salad fingers from youtube you know salad figures hello i like rusty spoons [Music] i used to do that all the time as a kid oh my god to be a child again and just gargle my chocolate milk all over my white shirt and not give what i'd give oh hi i'm so sorry i did not do that right i just suck i'm really nice i'll call back in just a second i just spilled my water that was wine that's that's yeah that's funny thank you everybody for watching and i hope i hope you laughed as well as i did i i really needed some laughs today glad i got some laughs today if you enjoyed the video please give the video a big like smash the like button smash it so hard that it breaks your screen thanks maybe leave a comment tell me your favorite type of pizza i'd love to know and it can't be one type with pineapple disgusting anyway i'm trailing off i hope you guys have a fantastic day also don't forget to subscribe and i will see you in the next video okay bye [Music] you

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 8,493,893

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Id: 91mruJIDYM0

Length: 19min 30sec (1170 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 01 2021