(Slap) Top o' the morning to ya laddies, l'm Jacksepticeye and welcome to life the game another cute little free game to play. I was going to say "Free horror game to play" i'm about to say a little free game to play, you can go play it for yourselves I'll leave a link in the description as I always do (We know, Jack!) If you wanna try it out for yourself first But it seems to be a very quick little game Where you go through all the stages of life Now me, personally, I'm only a quarter of a way troo it That- if well, I live to a hundred, that is ( doubtful chuckle) So, I-I-I haven't the full life yet so I don't really know what's gonna happen I don't know what's gonna happen in the later years I'm almost 30 now which sucks Well-yeah-I'm closer to 30 now than I am to 20 How crazy is that? (WE KNOW, JACK!) But I have played the start of life, I have done life right up until now Which has been alright; it's been pretty good so let's do it in game form Get born! What, oh! Push, push, push! Oh sweet jesus, little aidly baby comin' out (Laughing like a perv) FOOMP!!! Tap, okay. It's telling to tal-this is not talk, this is music This is singing, oh god don't get any faster than this Oah jesus, this is a lot, it's a lot to take in A B C D, SUCK SUCK A SUCK A DICK SUCK A DICK (Welcome to the Jacksepticeye show! FOR KIDS!) I did it.. Yay! I'm the best little baby Study! 12+5 is 17 the square roo- square root of 3? Uhhhh 20 Yes, I di- A+! I can't believe I did math that fast (me neither) Ah, puberty... pop the spots What a shit time puberty is How many of you goin' through puberty right now? Ahh your in for one hell of a ride Teenage years man, oh those are fun.. NOT!!! So much pressure all over you have to do so many different things in your life You don't even know what the fuck is goin' on, these hormones goin' through ya Um, oh I'm on Findher, okay Yes, god no, NO, yeah why not, no (Of course he failed, Zoidberg is so SEXY)
Fucking gaylord What?! Was Zoidberg wrong?! Oh, I clicked yes (pay attention, jack) It keeps like going past, I don't get to read what it says no, no, yes, why not Zoidberg? Oh I have to pick Zoidberg? Okay It's a match! Sports This game is so fuckin' fast Go little balls... (thought) Oh man I thought i was best fucking beer pong champion the world has ever seen What up, I'm great at-beer pong Make coffee Um coffee, okay uh milk. You imbecile, get out (jack reads what is shown up above) That's kinda scary, I mean I don't want to go to prison. Prison is a scary place Um, how do we make coffee? Uh, sweet sugar, milk-MILK! I put cheese in! Ohh I made him sick again Okay, we go coffee, sugar, milk - PERFECT Excellent, your-you keep your job (making coffee) Because I got coffee fuckin' coffee done? Um, okay I need to get married Uhh, toga toga (not a toga) perfect Did it... what? Is this the right one I think- If i'm gonna get married, this is the exact thing I wanna get married in (disappointed chuckle) (jack reads what's up above again) That's madness! 'kay, get married It was showing me this in the end screen-noo this Those look nice, you have two sets of underwear on now Okay, suit up I guess How BORING is that? (it looks fine) Getting married in a married suit Ohh, fancy man, getting married in a suit with your fucking purple hair (he's just jealous) 3.... 2.... 1.... WHAT?! That's not the right one? It said "Suit Up" The prison outfit? No, the dress? No, The br-an? panties NOO It was showing me that on the end screen (uncertain chuckle) No... Okay I'm going to suit up (now he realizes) OHHH, I have little teeny tiny boots! OHH i didn't see them before Get kids... I'm pushing for kids again? It's a boy, it-twins, TRIPLETS, QUADRA-WHAT? Uuuuuuuuum... Are you just gonna keep poppin' out babies-jesus christ! Beer, new car, that, this, you buy everything, buy everything it doesn't matter Cool! Panties, the-chilies, and movie ticket (Jack reads again) Do I have to buy everything? That, that, tha- I know it says a list at the bottom but I wanna see what it says if I actually buy everything Sweet! A ticket Yay! On your way home you forgot to buy everything... I bought literally everything 'Kay so what do we need? A new car, travel tickets, and weights There's my new car, you don't buy them at the fu**in' grocery store Weights, and a travel ticket That's how change your life around Grand children! What?! Drag & drop grand children Put the grandchildren in the fire (Evil laughter) (Jack reads again) Wait... On your first day as babysitting for your own daughter No that's just called parenting (Continues reading) Okay, so do I just keep them in the middle then? Like this? Yes. Yes! Go away- No- STOP THAT YOU F**KIN' KIDS! Why do kids always want to get themselves killed?! Stop... STOP!! (scream) You were fine!! You didn't get set on fire you asshole! OK, you go all the way over there you go all the way over there.
