JonTron's StarCade: Episode 9 - The Star Wars Holiday Special (FINALE)

the Star Wars Holiday Special was a made-for-tv event that aired in 1978 one year after the release of a new hope it's notorious for being incredibly hard to find and that's not by accident George Lucas the big man himself is known to have been very unhappy with this production going so far as to actually say if I had the time and a sledgehammer I would track down every copy of that show and smash it since it aired it's never been rebroadcast or released on home video if the TV special airs and no one's there to record it then it never happened at all even Harrison Ford seems to have no recollection of making this do you remember making this Christmas special and it was 1978 the plot thickens how could this be bad anyways look at the cast Mark Hamill Harrison himself Carrie Fisher the original c-3po Chewbacca r2 and James Earl Jones man they got everyone I mean how have I not seen this it sounds amazing now that's it I am getting to the bottom of this come on George loosen up a bit I just want to see it don't be such a prude I mean I don't know maybe if you give me a little kiss first or something I just want to see the film George well now you're getting sassy with me that's gonna be two kisses now see what happens when you sass me you're a very persuasive man little kiss for daddy see was that so hard all right but don't show it to anyone okay I'm not very proud of this be very careful with this I can't have this leaking on the Internet John do you love me like I love you how can I love this is even more dangerous in that time I tried to watch Dunston checks in on laserdisc that monkey was not willing to cooperate all right let's be careful with this oh boy here we go well an okay start I'd say the first few seconds literally start off with a dogfight in the Millennium Falcon you can't go wrong there I said I'm turning back here we meet han and chewie we're trying to get home from war for the Star Wars equivalent of Christmas or any winter timed holiday really they call it life day I don't know if a holiday celebration is what would be on my mind if my space vessel were about to be obliterated with Anthony Daniels as c-3po oh that's nice they're actually giving the real names of all the people inside the costumes Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca it's nice to see them get credit for such an overall thankless job r2d2 as r2d2 oh that's real nice give the guy in an air-conditioned monkey suit credit but the poor underpaid dwarf who's got a roast in a tin can all day screw him so after the beginning credits roll we go to Chewbacca's tree mansion what Chewbacca is like a rogue dirty space animal yet he lives in this nice house that looks straight off the set of a 1975 episode of The Price is Right the film explains that this is actually Chewbacca's family who are all waiting for him to get back from war I'm really glad they tackled this aspect of it because all I could think of during the action scenes in the first movie was Howl's Chewbacca's kid doing is he getting good grades is he getting beat up in school what are his interests yeah we're already there then I guess I'm gonna need the heavy-duty [ __ ] for this one the house is too immaculate tobacco's supposed to live in a cave or something they got a must need a real strong vacuum to get all the fur out of the rug also the place looks expensive as [ __ ] this is the Star Wars equivalent of living in a penthouse on Central Park West where should we get the money for this charging for autographs after the war something is very wrong here are you serious is there actually gonna be no dialog here actually for real is this gonna be these guys grunting at each other like cavemen for two hours you know I'm probably just being too cynical I'm sure this is just one of the many brief vignettes in this vast universe just getting a feel you know world building they don't even seem to like each other they look like they're just constantly making passive-aggressive jabs I said I'm turning back oh they left this in well this is where the movie gets a little dark well this isn't scripted this is the actor actually attempting to kill himself after he realized what he took part in don't do it it's not worth it there's at least two good movies after they see you could do wait what that's just actually how the film cuts together there it just comes right back to them grunting what was the point of that entire last part where the kid was meditating on the meaning of life maybe you're thinking okay that'll come in later that'll eventually be relevant but it never comes back it just comes and goes like that in an instant before your very eyes even Grandpa's confused and I'm pretty sure you got a copy the script oh is that what's you know on the bill for today then all right yeah that's that's normal you said it oh look it's Luke finally a familiar face we can get away from this Wookiee themed everyone loves Raymond not now r2 yeah this is very important shut up literal slave wage tin can boy we won't even credit I don't know what it is but Luke doesn't seem like himself here Chewbacca it will bring him to the screen I want to say hello to him he's not there now they're way overdue god forbid he's in a vat of acid somewhere in the Mojave Desert but I would know nothing about that it's just taking a little bit longer to get there that's all he'll make it oh is that right Luke well you seem a tad too confident in that little assumption come on tomorrow let's see a little smile come on [ __ ] [ __ ] is that [ __ ] you're doing stop it's disgusting and he was never seen again until in 1996 when he resurfaced under a different name in Phoenix Arizona the end have you liked they well good thing we solved nothing here it appears the story in this special keeps itself moving forwards through this 1970s wood-paneled computer the Wookiees have just randomly the kid wookie who goes by lumpy very fitting well log on to the computer and a new scene will start this particular scene takes place at the business of an average galactic citizen as an imperial trooper stops by to browse oh you want to see my identification she did it all by herself but you might say she did it by hand solo get off the stage besides shaving and hair trimming it's guaranteed to lift stains off clothing faces and hands I'll take it good I thought you would now would you like do maybe something far too give me something and Trey come on we can get it done behind the counter faster than you can say yummy Yoda three times I said I thought I might embarrass you but I told you to accept that as a gift just take no for an answer you creep don't like a bit like being about myself that's why oh yeah did someone forget to turn off the camera this guy's just he just keeps on going then just as soon as that scene ends we cut to Vader whoo menacingly says that he will search every house in the galaxy to find Han and Chewie hmm total difference as much and just as soon as that happens we cut immediately back to Chewbacca's family and find the mother watching a cooking show oh my god actually though just like everything in this special it goes on for at least 10 minutes too long I'm going to be using the tenderness cut of the bantha the loin side by the rules' is a kitchen the best place for a wookie anyways you'd be spending as much time picking hairs out of your food as you would eating it well you need a hairnet for your all dang body mama wookie where you gonna get that target don't sell that this is the furthest thing from Star Wars that could ever exist it's baffling everything people liked about the original films is absent here the action the characters the story the grittiness anything besides this no I get it after seeing the reception of the original trilogy I can see how they would realize it needed more Chewbacca's wife cooking it's a it's a natural progression no all was much better in the next chapter of our saga the old man from earlier comes over for undisclosed reasons to set some stuff up for the wookie family they should have just been honest and called this the Chewbacca family special because that's what it is I thought you might like this one of those that it kind of hard to explain it so yeah go on I'll wait well actually I don't know what you mean by that but from the way you said it it sounds like you gave their grandpa porn I really don't want to believe you gave the grandpa porn I am your fantasy you gave the man boy his family is like right in the other room you come into the man's house on [ __ ] Christmas except interspecies VR porn in his living room oh is this real is this awaking nightmare this got through no one thought this was a bad idea Wow happy life day don't worry it's not over yet though the next scene is Princess Leia and c3po doing their taxes deck the halls with boughs of holly near and then back at the house there found by stormtroopers you know somehow the tension just doesn't translate right when it's filmed in the style of Family Matters also the old guy in this scene becomes Rodney Dangerfield for like five entire minutes I never leave the shop without my identification they'd say he's very good boy just act like this I just found my identification that picture you're looking at right now is take quite a few years ago that's it one of me I've gained quite a bit of weight since if you weren't so relaxed right now I think you might be up to something yeah see no guilty man would say that oh man this is getting real tense Chuy's family is on the verge of getting found out what what's happening in case you didn't know that is actually the band Jefferson Starship it just happens it's like a full-on four-minute music video hey but don't get me wrong this is probably like the best part of the movie because Jefferson Starship is awesome it's just so jarring that it's even in here at all I always knew these guys were ahead of their time like way ahead the trooper is just sitting there genuinely enjoying it it is it's funny to me he's like wow starship rocks I know you'd like it your work here is finished and seriously if I have to listen to you play we built this city in the Star Destroyer one more time you know I don't even really know what's going on anymore but in the spirit of random things happening all the time now we're in a cartoon as you can see in this timeline han didn't make it out of the trash compactor in time as is usually the case in any film related baffling travesty it slowly becomes more and more of a fever dream over time like the writers just started to trip out or something like randomly while the stormtroopers are still in his house lumpy starts watching a tutorial video we are watching a literal tutorial video with him yes you have that right it is an actual tutorial video for a fictional device being played on an action-oriented sci-fi holiday special I think if you had the device slumpy has you could actually put it together by watching this no joke it goes on for three and a half painstaking minutes of the 10,000 terminals on your circuit breaker module is mocked in a particular color yeah you thought I was joking didn't you like a rainbow thought I was making it all up to be funny huh did to the wires with the corresponding colors I wish I were making it up red goes to red yeah okay what's the next step daddy-o ain't got all day now watch me close me oh thank god he's having a stroke well come on we're nearing the end at least that'll be the last non sequitur right just run oh my god does that [ __ ] PR sir of all the things I did not expect from this which at this point is not much Bea Arthur musical was pretty high up on that list don't worry it's okay though cuz at least she does this you stay just be Arthur's entire career was building up to this moment I don't need to see his enjoyment to whatever is happening here it's just too weird dude he's going in for more what the hell why are they showing this oh of course that seems over now we're just back to the house nothing to see here folks we didn't just see a golden girl pouring moon juice into a volcano head of God I'm serious I can't say that it makes me sick oh no what are you gonna do lumpy won't be get out of there Oh God the tutorial was for nothing from lumpy Ronnie's gonna grab you eventually han and chewie do get back home and they use some masterful tactics to disarm the stormtrooper that was an unfortunate chain of events come on stop Oh God knock it off that's gross and may the force be with you he said we go home now give exit door just as life day begins life itself ends the Wookiees now begin their annual exodus into space nearly one in three wiki's will survive this journey all of you are an important part of my life pal I'm glad I could be here also just curious when am I getting paid please me and so they celebrated their blasphemous religion and peace until shortly after the scene ended where they were then dragged into the streets of Kashyyyk and stone for their infidelity the end absolutely fascinating that's it that's all I believe I've reviewed the worst piece of Star Wars content in existence and you know what that means I'm coming home alright Vader I'm done come at me what why isn't it working it's useless I've cut the feed you're pretty smart from a toad huh now you've seen it the monster inside of me now you understand you feel my pain and now you're gonna help me help you help you do what help me destroy the only thing worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special that's impossible I've seen everything there is to see what more do you want from me aren't you forgetting something perhaps on purpose something deep down you don't want to remember no it's not possible they destroyed every last copy in the war it was the only way the galaxy could be free if you don't believe me take a look for yourself I don't know I just didn't see if they must have cloaked it for me with sick mind tricks it's almost complete why do you think you were here because he wanted me to play poopy games for laughs and giggles just laughs and giggles poor naive boy it was just a distraction the anger you felt all this time was extracted funneled and used to rebuild this there are millions of people just like you all over the galaxy feeding the Empire's evil wishes one Microsoft point at a time I was wondering what these before why are you here why me what's my part in this if there's millions of people involved I don't think special I'm just another cog in the cosmic machine oh that's where you'd be wrong silly boy don't you know by now can't you feel it in your heart you have something one-of-a-kind that can stop this it's in you John you can fix this you don't come to see it my way in time you're one crazy old man Georgi and all so unexpectedly smelly but I'm in our project is almost complete my lord she shall be resurrected in no time excellent how did you manage to get up here let's just say I made a little connection back at home base so now you see their true power of the dark side no not quite it's more of a situation where I've crashed my ship into your ship and now they're connected and now I'm here payback time this well I'm a firm believer that how you use it is the important step how can you escape possibly resist the damage of a syst blade do it finish him No won't be like you I say do it as for what someone else will just make an even bigger Star Wars connect and truth be told I don't even think the size plays into it is it disks still small did you make an equally large xbox360 to accommodate him that all seems so impractical you dare defy the will of the Empire what do you want from me I do this because I want to see people all around the galaxy do the funny on solo dance Oh No and I will be dead you watches every last person gets frustrated because the controls almost wet but now I do what that's about to tell impossible evil what wretched part of the galaxy did you spawn from Los Angeles this evil world to buy chases and dying is what she dragged up patios bird and real again why'd you save me back there you didn't have to it doesn't make sense I mean Jack only responds to people with them good heart because John you are a friend an old friend a friend can't you feel in your heart you have something one-of-a-kind take my mask off John one last time let me look on you with my own eyes Aaron John what are you doing in a Darth Vader outfit I just I just found it dude where did you get an imperial star destroyer I want it on eBay any downsides yeah um part of this ship came off so some space leaks in every so often anything else raccoons at least five I've seen four but there's people that say that there's like a spotted one that I haven't seen I don't get it I mean why go through all this what was the point here with you little times well you have my phone number you could just call me you know I've never one to take the easy way that was since my first six months it's not funny it's not as my real life what's wrong with you I'm sorry it's okay made a big thing out of it put on my channel turned out alright yeah you know that's pretty good thanks man yeah I've been doing good - I said yes it seems like we're all in it pretty good place huh John I have something to tell you what is it Aaron I mean boo PP fart diaper babies stinky [ __ ] doodoo brain looks like you shouldn't have let me write your lives my dad is Adolf Hitler and yes he is and he will always be we all right yeah well polio but yeah I'm for now like everything's good okay oh man so you want to do the dance for old times sake I don't know you're talking about yeah it feels as if the balance has been restored to the galaxy or at least to a very niche part of the internet may the force be with you not again you

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 8,575,054

Keywords: jontron, starcade, holiday special, arin hanson, egoraptor, game grumps, reunion, lumpy, george lucas, funny, review, Comedy (Film Genre), jontronshow, Star Wars (Film Series), Star Wars Holiday Special (TV Program), Cool

Id: eL5gMWcl9FU

Length: 24min 43sec (1483 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 15 2015