John Mulaney - Being Bad At Math

my name is John Mulaney and a few things about myself should tell you for years I was a child and during that time I went to a school right but I was terrible in school I was awful at it my worst subject was math and in the grade school that I went to they did this thing one year were they divided all the kids up into two different math groups right based on your abilities and the first group that you could be in was called the Blue Angels and it was named after the famous aviators and the other group was called group - yeah oh we were a swell bunch of kids in group - best part of it is we picked the name ourselves the teacher was like what are we gonna call you group - and we were like a bingo you got it right there or in five is twelve I watched too much crime stuff I do too many crime dramas I love law and order that is my favorite show on television it's good I love love order because it's the same episode every single time like it's the same thing again and again law and order is to the point that like you see the same types of characters on every law and order some of my personal favorites there is a guy who while being questioned by homicide detectives will not stop unloading crates doesn't matter to this guy double rape and murder nah he's gotta unload that van the detectives will show up with all these serious questions and this guy is just like Tony Ramirez yeah I remember him used to work here Tuesdays right it's like dude people have died how often are you questioned by homicide detectives I love law and order and I miss Jerry Orbach more than certain dead relatives of mine he was the best he was the best for those of you they don't know who that is Jerry Orbach he was a wonderful actor he played detective Lennie Briscoe on Law & Order for many many years he was also the dad and Dirty Dancing he's the one that put Baby in the corner that's right he was a wonderful actor but a couple years ago he died now you may know that you may not know and I not lying to you Montreal I wouldn't do that after Jerry Orbach died this is absolutely true he donated his eyes to the New York Eye Bank he was an eye donor so there's these signs all around New York that say Jerry Orbach gave his heart and soul to the gift of acting and the gift of sight to two New Yorkers to New Yorkers got Jerry ohrbach's eyes sorry like as a transplant not just to have like they got them put it two different New Yorkers though that is fascinating to me because they're two different New Yorkers they probably don't know each other right they're probably strangers well that would make a great movie would make a great romantic comedy oh I can see the preview now they're just like he's an average guy who only likes sports dude you sold your grandmother's wedding ring what it was for season tickets she's a busy businesswoman who only likes business ma'am could you turn off that Bluetooth we're at a baptism he's March Madness she's Merrill Lynch got it but they have one thing in common they both have Jerry or box eyeballs shoved into their face New Line Cinema presents love at first sight this summer love is spelled with two eyes and the scene I thought a lot about it thank you and the scene where the two where the guy and the girl finally find each other because first act to the movie they get the eye transplant that's a given rest of the movie they're walking around New York but they keep like criss crossing paths like in that movie serendipity which is not bad so they're walking around you're like oh when are they finally gonna meet and here's the scene where they meet okay cuz if you remember on Law & Order whenever Jerry Orbach saw a dead body he'd make a funny little joke he'd make a one-liner every single time so the guy in the girl are coming down the street from opposite ends of the street all right and there's an alley in the middle of the street and there's a teacher lying dead in the alley and at the same moment they both go school's out and then they lock eyes

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 2,407,720

Keywords: Just for laughs, just for laughs youtube, just laughs, funny comedy, stand up, stand up youtube, standup, stand up comedian, funny, John Mulaney

Id: gY49ZXj3L-0

Length: 5min 34sec (334 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 17 2020