Im going away tomorrow. You want me to take care of Poppy? No. Poppy actually wanted me to take care of you by getting rid of you. He said I have to get rid of all my friends. There's. I mean, there's no way that includes me. You understand that, right? I agree with him. Get rid of your friends. He means Derek and Krills and Grills? He meant those people. Oh. The people you give opportunities to who somehow blame you for them. The people who have never started an interesting conversation. Anytime I've been around them. I'm embarrassed. You're right. Don't be embarrassed. I get why it's fun to have them around. When I was going through my worst time, seeing your friends made me feel like I was Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, about that. I actually also really wanted to talk to you about something that's kind of been bothering me. I, you know. Okay. I am sorry. That I basically lied to you about, my drug problem and everything I was going through. I knew I was hiding it from you. It was on purpose. I know you're like 29 now, but I still feel some responsibility as an older person to make sure you're okay. You're always in crisis. The idea of calling you for a crisis of mine, maybe it actually would have snapped you out of your own bullshit. It would have helped. Honestly. Yeah. I didn't think about that. I'm so obsessed with my own life and problems. Well, your life is fascinating. Yeah, it is. I mean, I don't know what it's like to live it, but God d***, do we have fun watching it. Yeah, it's a good time. You know what it is? I'm not even first of all, I. It does bother me a little bit that everybody thinks it's my fault. And I understand why they do. Of course. And you can too. Of course. I mean, we do one update feature together and then my life completely changes. There's theories online that we swap souls. I've read all of them. Yeah. To the point where I was reading them, I was like, did I? Did this happen? Did this f****** happen?
We hug at the end and that's when people say the souls switch. Yes. And your soul came into me and made me like a degenerate drug addict. Yeah. Everyone thinks we Freaky Friday'd. We freaky Friday'd. We freaky Friday'd. It makes a lot of sense. I don't personally believe in the theory, but it's well-researched and footnoted. Oh, you know what? It doesn't even bother me that much. What really bothers me is that you never. You never shared. You never shared the drugs. What? You never shared. We could have so much fun. It was a dark, harrowing elevator shaft of despair. But you've never been cooler. We were f****** five feet away in other dressing rooms. And you were. You were in there just wearing a suit. Just f****** doing blow. That's awesome, dude. It was not awesome. It looked awesome. You didn't see it. You're imagining it. Okay, well, how do I know now that you're good? And how will I know? How will I know? How will I know that I'll be good? Well, first off, how will you know for sure that I'm not on drugs? Yeah, you won't. Now in terms of you, Pete, I worry about you to a level that I don't worry about you. I have worried about you so much, so deeply for so many late nights and then gone on my computer to see that you're courtside. With Fill in the Blank. Not just enjoying the game, laughing your a** off with them. Yeah, it's a fun time. And this is the same night you're texting me that you want to leave the planet. Yeah. How many times have I seen you just fall off a building and land on your feet or into the arms of a juicy sweats model? I don't know, John. I think I just. I just want, like, a regular type life. What the f*** is that? Like, barbecues and baseball games and s***? Yeah. I don't think it's made for you. People don't want it from you, first off. And second, I don't think you want it. You've done absolutely nothing to pursue it. We're in comedy, okay? You got to be able to walk away from anything in your life in 30 seconds flat when you hear an offer around the corner. That's why I got nothing tying me down. You have a kid. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I mean, there's so much I can't do. It's great, though. Look, here's what's going to happen. You're going to go to this rehab, you'll stay. What's a usual stay? 28 days. You'll stay about six, seven days. Yeah. You'll either leave because they ask you to or because. I don't know. They won't let you smoke in the hospital or something. Yeah. Some disagreement. You'll continue to be this bright, talented light that seems in crisis to everyone in the outside world. We'll all take care of you. And I'll continue to be this seemingly okay guy all buttoned up. But inside, having a f****** crisis all the time.
