It Came From Tumblr #72 | Binge Compilation

it's [Music] come play [Music] okay bye my understanding of dnd is that the gm has the power to make the quest a heist but players control whether the background music for this heist will be the pink panther theme the mission impossible theme or the benny hill theme eh alternate universe where i literally just go to school forever but for free so i can just learn about art in literature and history and languages for 100 years no job skills no credit requirements no student loans just learning that sounds cool and terrifying all at once treat spiders the way you want to be treated ah so killed without hesitation a person i just met said yeah i grew up loving the percy jackson books and i accidentally responded so you're gay and he was in fact gay but nobody's ever said it that bluntly before but yeah today i was getting my hair cut and i pulled up the picture to show the very nice lady cutting my hair and she looked it and said um are you sure you're showing me the right picture and i looked down on my phone and i was showing her this whoops in my doctor's office there is a giraffe where the pringles guy's head what is that cup wearing pants yes is that is that matures masks in the mirror oh my god it keeps getting worse i want emo versions of idioms like instead of you're barking up the wrong tree it's you're panicking at the wrong disco you can lead a horse to evanescence but you can't bring him to life well this isn't my first black parade you know what's dumb the concept of treating adolescents like children throughout the entirety of their teenage years and then at around 8 17 paul complete 180 and expect them to decide within the next couple years what they want to do with the rest of their lives you put it into words mango mangoing man going hang on speaking of which i hope all my mutuals know that you can just go on down to the hardware store and just buy a big old bag of dried blood um refuse to differentiate between important and unimportant information in your scene descriptions looking around the road streets you see a few burned out houses various bits of rubble four thousand demons pointing swords at you a pile of knocked over street signs and a stray cat all your players immediately i pet the cat the four thousand demons immediately lower their blades as you have successfully shown proper tribute to she who walks the shadows the bitter talon the queen of the dark pit mrs fluffer butt today i learn professional clowns who want to patent their look can paint their likeness on an egg and have them stored in the clown gallery in east london the zag registry acts as informal copyright that protects a clown from having their looks stolen by a copycat a tiny glimpse into the topsy-turvy world of clown society covertly adds this to my ever growing list of things i thought terry pratchett made up for his fantasy world are actually real things the bourgeoisie is a turquoise bourgeoisie if not then the world is lost on me what the [ __ ] is a bruce way this wow delicious today's aesthetic keeping the same tab open in your browser for three solid weeks because you're definitely going to get around to reading and or acting on whatever's in that any minute now don't call me out like this okay some of you [ __ ] have been submitting my post to pmc moore's discord oh [ __ ] i'm going to take this awesome opportunity to make his life a living hell lead rhymes with reed and lead rhymes with red but reed most definitely doesn't rhyme with lead and lee doesn't rhyme with red my god why crabs are so gentle they can be so kind they're claws precise little things so careful in the sand so careful with food they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs please be dead to the crabs i was on a new sleep medication last night but you were right roy mustang after emotionally manipulating an 11 year old child into joining the military i'm so smart he'll join for sure edward arriving in his office a year later with the intention to break as many laws as possible i'm here to make your life hell little man it's a beautiful day anna maestris and you are a horrible state alchemist pearl remembering her father ganondorf the previous pearl uh i i cannot see it and i hate it you've been hit by you've been struck by a roman senator sees are you okay are you okay caesar guys what if the ninja z movie turns me into a furry i'm scared yo it's already turned me into one you see that swole ass tiger on the train he looks like you treat me right and my family would love him oh my god by all jesus can't even save me now is this why everyone was after tony the tiger i don't know but but god damn god damn goddamn britain is a strange place we have to boost the power at a certain time to cope with everyone putting the kettle on for a cup of tea you're joking right wow no i'm not it even has a wiki page oh my god i just realized something gir never washes his fur suit please don't call curse costume her fursuit i will cry that's what it is though whenever i'm spooked i play the worst and most memey music because i hold the firm belief nothing can kill you if the vibes are strong if you have fresh prince going on as loud as possible whatever's haunting you is gonna be like oh man i can't kill this the moon's all wrong now the ghost crawling out of my television me turning caramel dancing up to 180 decibels [Music] those people who make a character who's obviously supposed to be optimal waifu and lose their [ __ ] when people like them so much you know who i mean i have no idea what you're talking about island's complete completely [ __ ] mystery to me i'm what no you know what [ __ ] therapy i'm becoming a knight pearl ghost wrote this mr krabs's daughter no the rock dwayne hello boys and girls or whatever jack sparrow accepting you for whatever gender you decide to be since 2003. you know there should be a captain in that tag somewhere ah my apologies jack sparrow captaining you for whatever captain you captained to captain since captain ah so close you want motivation all right all right my parent is up at 6 30 every morning cursing and denying god what are you doing in those precious morning hours sleeping pathetic me screenshots things my girlfriend said to me so i can read it later me yeah i'm not gay dude no offense i don't want to go around like a social justice warrior or anything but if you have you have a girlfriend you're straight that's that's just that's just how it works i'm a girl what the [ __ ] i don't know who needs to hear this but shut the [ __ ] up you skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome demi dome genome full-blown monochrome student loan indiana jones flintstone hormone friend zones sevester salon sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patron head ass the [ __ ] up the sun is so big and i am so small you know contrary to popular belief it is the reverse finally good news the sun versus pocketo i just want to say these two have the same voice actor duty me boy you've been invited by the king of bog seasay to visit lake glau guy double depression can be defined as fairly depressed mood that lasts for at least two years and is punctuated by periods of major depression tired of your boring old regular depression try double depression thanks i hate it i opened this ugly i have to do something but i can't remember what it was maybe it was to find love no actually it was so i could find this specific image where's garfield arms writing prompt you can bring dead people to live again but for every person you bring back you have to sacrifice one body part i got this me plucks out another hair the sadistic genie okay i know that technically counts but i really feel like you're not getting into the spirit of i ceremonially sacrificed my hair very seriously okay like one time just once couldn't it be like a toe or a finger or something oh like how you so graciously go by what people mean not exactly how they phrase things okay sometimes i just resurrect them already my parrot has a vague understanding of the word no he knows how to stop doing what he's doing when he hears it and he knows how to say it he knows that it's a word that is used when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing however being told no doesn't make him stop doing it in the future if he's ever out of my sight or if i'm not paying attention i know exactly when he's doing something bad because he says no to himself as he does it behold victorian female medical students wow looks like one of them had a really tough semester blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family are you canadian seriously you haven't figured it out uh freddy krueger's love child with abby from dan's moms deadpool's left butt cheek from an alternate universe given human form chad from the bachelor after taking one too many shots every before image for proactive merged into a walking acne culture god i thought spider-man didn't murder people holy [ __ ] [ __ ] when you find that special someone an egg engagement ring delete your blog no proceed today i learned all the clowns do actually get in the car there's no illusion to it they just got the car so it's an empty shell with a motor and controls beefed up the spring so it doesn't ride too low and then send in the clowns i [ __ ] love the way this was worded had a dream just now that macklemore was named time magazine's most muggable musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him what's the point of mugging someone who only has twenty dollars in their pocket well twenty dollars can get you many peanuts explain how well you see money can be exchanged for goods and services an object in a horror film every single character for some [ __ ] reason i like to touch it oh my god what if we named animals after the sound they make like in pokemon honey can you take the bark for a walk could you feed them meows hey look at all those moves wow that's one big probably bad rpg idea home rule that whenever a pc isn't in a scene their player must do an idle animation until they are in a scene again oh p i'm gonna need you to change your url i'm a little high but what if people proposed with beautiful intricate knives ladies would gather around the table and be like guess what finally happened and pull this beautiful intricate dagger out of her purse and all the other ladies would gasp and congratulate her yeah let's do that i like that girl zelda is hot guy actually his name's link um no i'm gay that dude went and like time to humiliate another fake gamer girl and got chemically castrated instead love it bro stop chanting in dead languages you're scaring the hose i'm summoning the hose fool swallowing glass but to stay pure you know if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don't swallow glass hey king take this chucky milk hey uh where's the or of the glass she needs to relax her shoulders her dad died okay um the tension she's carrying isn't gonna bring her back so lol i had a dream that mentions of magic were banned so harry potter had to be reprinted with wizard replaced by cool guy and any mention of magic spell replaced with sweet trick the ministry of sweet tricks you're a cool guy harry one question who will stop him nobody let the boy dance wisdom teeth are weird cause my body is like hey i know you're done growing boobs you like some more teeth and i'm like hell no there's no room but then the body's still like more teeth more teeth more teeth more teeth oh there's no room well that's fine we'll just grow them in [ __ ] sideways do you think kids during the industrial revolution had the same weird millennial agency experience of having technology change so much while they're growing up a middle-aged man in the 1890s condescendingly explaining what a candle is okay governor the great gatsby's copyright expires january 1st 2021 and i for one am quite looking forward to the inevitable publication of nick gatsby fan fiction look me in the eye and tell me there's not at least 10 people sitting down on a completed manuscript right now i dare you oh dude time to write the greater gatsby 2021 is looking pretty bright right now me walks into a hospital i like to return myself nurse but you can't i have the receipt hands than my birth certificate oh no problem come right this way wait a second if i'm asexual and you're asexual then who's given a [ __ ] lion paw compared to a human hand very big toe beans hi i am deficient in so many minerals and i'm about to do something i'll regret thanks vitamin d deficiency now excuse me as i proceed to do the thing i'll regret it's the fun new brain cell wow the jonas brothers on the radio people watching fruits basket it's really 2009 again huh now for the swine flu hey guys i'm so sorry i didn't mean to my favorite bit of black dog folklore is that in some folklore there is a belief that the first person buried in a cemetery stays there and doesn't cross over and helps other spirits move on and protects them from evil spirits now naturally people want to avoid this fate for their loved ones and themselves so they would sometimes bury a dog first and they would return in the shape of a big black dog and protect the newly dead from evil spirits and occasionally the living as well this kind of spirit is called a church grim uh you mean it's called a good doggie anti-mom you know it's okay if you don't finish your plate because you're only human and the vast majority of food waste comes from corporations and government organizations throwing it away and not households yeah to dad as long as you live under my roof we will communicate and negotiate the terms and rules together to make it the most pleasant living experience for the both of us this this is the adams family that's because the atoms are a healthy family i'm not like other girls i don't die when i'm killed people die if they're killed that's the way it should be yeah but me i'm not like the other girls i should have known better than to be mentally ill in high school me reading your tarot cards okay i have drawn the empress the queen of disks the uh jack of diamonds blue eyes white dragon a couple of swamplands and pikachu i placed the knave of swords face down in defense mode and end my turn imagine getting jumped by a bunch of ants and you hear them say take his ass to the microwave your partner's teepee please help him okay so i was listening to music and i got this message at first i assumed that my boyfriend sent the wrong person a message asking for toilet paper but when i got up to bring him some i saw his phone on his bed and realized when someone messaged my partner on tumblr i'm trapped with no tp and they have their headphones on help he left his phone in the room and only took a switch with him so all i could do was desperately tweet an sos i had to adapt to [ __ ] survive the ultimate power move in a vampire fairy rivalry would be the fairy inviting the vampire over for tea the vampire has natural dominion over anyone who invites them into their home and the fairy has natural dominion over anyone who violates the laws of hospitality and neither can refuse the appointment without shown weakness so it just be a constant head game of the vampire trying to maneuver the fairy into position where the obligations of hospitality allow the vampire to eat them and the fairy trying to trick the vampire into doing something that they would allow the fairy to declare them a poor guest you know eventually they're gonna get hit with the magical equivalent of being snowed in together right is is that not the point enemies to lovers you know things could be worse your parents could be turned into pigs you could be forced into slavery at a bath house and your boyfriend could be a river yeah i'm sad i wasn't born in the era of [ __ ] do it if you like love letters write them if you like poodle skirts wear em society is imploding as we watch an abject horror do whatever you want well then time to buy a guillotine an older human calls you son dwarf calls you laddie elvin woman calls you love orc chief calls you cub and goblin calls you friend

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 423,925

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: eh-vrU1sybc

Length: 18min 16sec (1096 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 24 2020