It Came From Tumblr The Movie, The Quadquel?? | Mega Binge Compilation

well hello everybody I am doing the thing I should have done a long time ago and go around a nice long vacation at least until next year which is funny to say just because next year is like two weeks from now but yeah it's long overdue and figured I have one last video go up it sands the control log dream which is the first person to eval boom I've ever sat down and actually made so I'm excited this because I've done one two and three this is it came from tumblr movie for the quad cool so sit back relax and enjoy the three hours of madness and I'll see you guys all next year bye yeah I just realized how as quark is basically just nerfing his quark should just be called not today mother my god he has the power to be a gmod arc RP admin I would be so dangerous if I knew how anything what I mean that's it that that's that's the show all right guys this is my first attempt at a creepypasta so go easy on me carpeted kitchen kids dressed as shadows for a Halloween their mother bought black morph suits for them then laid black clothes over those this may be the scariest thing ever yo how to get your children run over 101 do realize you're gonna be an adult for the rest of your life there are so many other words in the English language and you just had to go and say these okay for all of you who are worried that there might be a secret mind-readers in the rooms just try mentally screaming and if anyone jumps or flinches you know please don't haha found the mind reader y'all better be going to bed at reasonable time don't make me tuck you in and kiss you goodnight yeah I don't threaten me with a good time last warning before I sing you a lullaby that's a weird dragon shut up I love her actually she would fit right in and regalia lost me shows basic human decency later cashier are you okay as a cashier I can assure you that the answer is no y'all this old lady on Facebook got angry at me so she threatened to call my job and report my rude behavior to my boss so she got my information from my page are you still a cashier at the Krusty Krab I'll be contacting your employer and your parents relatives she's going to try to call mr. Krabs on me or she is going to try to contact bikini bottom she is going to call a phone number and ask is this the Krusty Krab and the person who answered the phone will have a choice to make people who tell me I shouldn't drink lava the media people who lie the media conclusion I'm going to drink lava I am a geologist with no association to the media and I would not recommend drinking lava yeah get a load of big geology tried to impress the voice of the people teach the controversy drink the lava last night I dream that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and I was so insulted I woke up Wow you slept bra which gender Shh don't worry about it bro let's just keep playing Minecraft I'm sorry but if you're both pansexual slash romantic and demisexual slash romantic and you don't refer to yourself as a pandemic you have severely disappointed your pun loving community oh my god they're right what am I done so like I don't know if anybody's pointing this out yet but undines not just a fish girl she's a Dunkleosteus girl it's the teeth that actually give it away anyway so the Dunkleosteus was an ancient predatory armored fish from the Silurian to the Devonian period with thick bony plates all over its head she really is an armored fish monster okay but dunk lioska s' so that's the egg of dust they say whoever touches it turns to dust [Music] hmm well captain rich we don't have any model five for Tesla but we do have a new model three and dare you insult my ears with that common foof Hampton kill him Jimmy's last wish was not to be buried but to be put on his skateboard and like totally let the universe guide him you do you run its what Jimmy would have wanted he hated the police this is Mario see his name is Clark wonderful let's serve little people however does he have none okay that's cool is he a Z attractive at all no he's quite below average honestly okay well what about an overdramatic backstory not really his parents love them very much okay well like where is he from hell magical forest Connecticut okay guys this is spot let me video call is everyone connected yeah your mommy said shucks that's okay at least my parents can have all their bills on auto pay big boom it is time to cleanse you with the sounds of anguish of the people who tried to snap their fingers inside their mouth from the last video to prove a point and realized there was a grave mistake why would you do this to yourselves y'all I love you but man why did you try to prove a point but tumbler a burning popcorn Factory would smell amazing one moment and horrible the next if we just scan all the textbooks and put them online we could save students thousands of dollars while taking about 15 pounds out of a student's backpack teachers tell us to be more mature but then they punish the whole class for bad behavior of one student encouraging us have a grudge against them which isn't mature at all never laugh a your partner's choices you're one of them in college is just gotta accept the fact that no matter how much sleep you get you'll always be tired find three hobbies one to make you money one to keep you in shape and one to keep you creative some of the most brilliant and wise people always end up being the most oppressed simply because there more aware of their situation than others in the next generation there'll be a bunch of Gambhir dads who will tell their kids they could have gone pro when humans colonized bars there will eventually be a flat Mar society that will believe that the earth is a hoax Mars is flat and that earth never existed in humanity began on Mars and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is the closest thing we'll ever get to a family-friendly saw movie and this has been Patrick's rant from the beginning by tumblr see what you guys doing in the YouTube comments Rea because why now it's boarded an my buttcheeks already clapping I run down the stairs my sleep paralysis demon is no YouTube video oh god no Oh Toby knew what he was doing he knew he always knows probably I like a whole century or something Wampus might just become a swear word or a way to say you're stupid alright let's test it out mm-hmm hey yo your Wumpus okay continue working did I hear the noise of a very faint laugh of papyrus or am I crazy no no no it's probably probably Mandela effect jeez I really cuz that video is a while back I need some context what that means hey look it's the millionth one of these congratulations but yes I'm so confused what the fun was playing in the background called art that's it can't go any further than the dragon shouts Kinect forever everybody oh no more hello everypony opposed didn't go for you then the lc1 is how I like my OCS normal and not Opie unless they're for a specific RP oh you and your Nazi are peas rich in rebel all right person reading this this either a will or won't stick with you I know you're eating this Oh God remember this moment you're experiencing right now will just be a memory later your life is a memory I have a nice day week month year or life wasn't expecting to have an existential crisis I have to go now bye it is time to cleanse your mind with these sands and smash bite okay Madagascar 2 in moto moto song big and chunky he describes his ideal female he says for example like a big old spaceship yeah so gracious the fact that a hippo in the middle of nowhere knows what a spaceship is raises a lot of questions about the Madagascar universe there are tons of people in the world who are passionate about things that you don't even know about people assume that Courage the Cowardly Dog is either a misnomer urn oxymoron but courage was courageous because he could act in spite of his fear tall people are just vertically thick vans shoes for kids are just minivans if blue whales ever go extinct future generations will look back in all of this huge animal much like we do now after learning that giant sloths and lizards used to exist pets eat basically the same thing every day and are always excited to eat humans will groan at the first mention of leftovers the saying out of sight out of mind doesn't apply when you're in your room and you catch a glimpse of a spider and then lose it mr. Krabs adopted pearl because whales eat plankton pretty sure they actually did an episode on that but my chicken salad is just well aged egg salad and this has been I can't believe sans is in smash I can't stand those dumb teenagers who insist on using duh instead of because they think it's cool Leonardo da Vinci seriously it's obviously Leonardo da Vinci uncultured swine I can't believe you would insult Leonardo devianart vichy this way why one of the things my little brother and I due to each other as announced our presence by yelling oh wow whenever we get home but this has caused our dad to also upon getting home from work throw the door open and yell and the data stable whoa well you can those worms now lying it why is Bruno Mars so weird about some girl opening her eyes while she's kissing him I've been meaning to ask this question since 2010 how did Bruno know her eyes were open unless his word to my god this ask made me open my third eye what a fish guess dr. Phil asking you this Oh oh my god every plot line of Steven universe and don't dispute this it's right we're supposed to be a Milo stools but I'm weird that's called an emotion and it's normal oh my god y'all listen every single one he is every single one he is as valid that guy that's Vinnie the ace that is now you'd think that's a County he plays cards real good right well yeah though he's just a yeah hey sex you don't like doing the horizontal mambo si mcnutt's it was the greatest gift you have ever given to you humanity thank you creamy is concerned you might not have loved yourself enough today wow this is the most wholesome creamy goodness I've ever seen when people say evolutions in the later generation sucks this guy he just becomes angry okay but this is the most realistic depiction of growing up and that's why it's good your heart is the muscle the size of a rat State a boy with skin I I have no caption for this I just can't how to get ready in the morning step 1 stay in bed as long as you possibly can step 2 speed run I I feel called out you know if you roll off the bottom of your bed at just the right angle you can clip through the floor straight into the shower saving precious time it's also really effective to do that trick if you're spawning point is in a studio apartment just saying and guys I have some opinions about D&D werewolf's look at all of them it is time to cleanse your mind with the Siana hugs your faces by tumblr in the original Pokemon games you benefited from getting a bike in the game it Pokemon go you'd benefit from getting a bike in real life if colleges didn't get paid until their graduates got paid colleges would work a lot harder to get their graduates high-paying jobs hospitals are filled with people's happiest memories saddest memories last breaths first breaths and basically everything in between no matter what I do I always feel like a teenager pretending to be an adult in the past hundred years clowns have become more scary than funny while skeletons have become more funny than scary forgetting about an assignment that's due and hearing someone else say wait we had an assignment is one of the most comforting feelings in life when cars are all electric horror movies will lose some of their suspense no engine noises when the car won't start if you describe trees as machines they sound totally sci-fi solar powered self-replicating machines that produce breathable gas using toxic gas sturdy building material and food on a planetary scale in the game Madden the main character is a telekinetic ball that possesses anyone it touches and fire birthday parties are basically cult meetings we gather when the earth has orbited the Sun exactly once and we bring offerings to the leader in exchange for rotten water that makes us disoriented and nauseous often causing memory loss which should we then proceed to consume in vast quantities and this has been Siana judging your search history by tumblr it is the elusive third bear bears it is maca she has tried to hide from the camera this whole time then yet I have found her and even know why she's hiding it's because I have to go on business trip and she is now said mocha mocha boo boo come here come here honey come here I'm your shy girl okay I will be back Susie will be here for you you'll be okay you're going to just I love you sweetie you're gonna be okay you know boys gonna be okay yeah yeah yeah yeah we were almost there hold on I am so tired tomato soup this is where you wanted to go there's no one here yes we are in uncanny valley hello Homer it's me captain rich here's a mortgage go buy a home or car whatever your kind does with these the interest rate is 40% when did the poor learn to read thanks to their eyes but things can't be like that because it's not yeah hey you would major I need some financial help I just got my tax return what do I do with it buy three pairs of easy use okay okay baby you paid me that's sweet five dollars we can do it anything you want if you ever played Minecraft leh yeah man I got like all these sweet mods on my server I bet the t-rex even you want to see yeah I want to see doctors will say the most sensitive skin on your body is the lips and I'm not that's a lie the most sensitive skin on your body are the patches that have the most traumatic childhood today news poll Yolo or swag submitter answer how could I possibly choose if there are trees who you aren't alone I can't tell if this is supposed to be an encouragement or an ominous warning opiez URL doesn't clarify things either pretty sure that just sounds like dark crystals joke okay but there was a bus filled with potatoes driving around my town today oh look at that it's a bus full wrath mal fans it's fun to stay at though why mm stops to pray when the DM says I'll allow to your unorthodox ID request Nike me my correcting borrow drawing memes lining up a piece of paper with the teachers slideshow and taking a photo is is this the meaning of ascended yo that is some next-level shirt right there Aleph uh confused adults get with our humor and vine references cuz like I just replied to my brother with four female Ghostbusters the feminists are taking over and he just screams I'm an adult version and my mom still has no idea what we're talking about sometimes I fear we accidentally created a new language why fear it when you can embrace it fun fact the media thinks the area 51 Facebook thing is being spread by Russian BOTS anyone older than 30 simply cannot comprehend millennial and Gen Z humor it's true but wait a minute Millennials are over 30 sometimes what a pumpkin man sits inside a pumpkin house is the house made of flesh or is he made of house he screams for he doesn't know it's not even Halloween yet shut up but so it's Halloween today I learned our walking speed is affected by Homer with men's pace slowed down by an average of 7% with walking with partners they're interested in women walking together move the slowest and men walking with male friends moved at speeds faster than either man's preferred walking speed yeah I'm about to speed run my trip to the grocery store by walking with five of the boys and only get installed at the unskipable cutscenesthat's nice kappa thing which is really frowned upon in the gamer community how am I supposed to make a funny creative text post what nothing happens in my life at all you could just use a story from Sims and pretend it really happen to you oh yeah that was like that one time I was swimming but the pool ladders do appeared so I couldn't get out of the pool I swam for 10 hours to died huh classic how our label what was it like when Obama was president oh yes the Homestuck president good times Wallace Ingram an American dub yo Gromit this bread slaps this is Kirsten I hate it you ought to see it now I'm curious how you guys go about creating you out seas they come to me and my dreams like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god or alternatively waking up at 3:00 a.m. scribbling down something in a scrap of paper and forgetting about it for months in Siana was just like hey do you want a cue robot that beats up people that are bad and evil have I got a character for you also you can auger you think this formula is some advanced math crap something used to find the something of a something advanced math no this formula is used by Pokemon games that calculate the shaky-shaky a pokeballs when you catch the Pokemon and finally D and E is just math this guy's to Skyrim how and we watch it what are you doing put that blanket out here what are you doing what why do you have that here I'm super you fighting crime now you fight fight are you superhero will you fighting crime fight negativity justice for all D dogs let's grab me something what are you doing to get off you mochas concern woody what all right Asiana how do you spell your name have you watched Madoka Magica it's the great at eBay I liked it until the part where mommy lost her head and so what's your favorite feature here gillis my legs since they no longer my to use weapons after being taken in I still wanted somebody to fend myself and I learned a lot about kicking and jumping so my new legs are inspired by characters like chun-li to have great force behind each swing so how well do you handle paradoxes how well do you for example who wrote the song of storms in ocarina of time this instant wow you're so cheerful Siana thank you for making me smile sorry if this is a loaded question you don't have to answer now but do you have any tips on smiling even when it's hard thank you you excited for Halloween yeah boys I'll turn the render distance up in my area there's too much fog honey try to eat your eyes off and on again did did p.m. create you with the coffee brewing attachment baby hey Sierra I fall for this you gotta give him credit see they at least tried okay don't take this is creepy but uh what's doubt there huh don't we do you have a hole Oh God thank you guys so much for watching I know this was a little different from all the other tumblr videos but yet trying to integrate her more so why not give her her own little special episode and if y'all are interested in having your own little personal blue robot in the comfort of your own home apartment condo dormitory box whatever I'm not judging I'm not judging guys you can get your very own poster right now of Siana herself on t public it's adorable she's smiling the hair is flowy and also jello was there apparently why but I just I just kind of put them in there also there's a deaf history and pillow option if you're a little more during all right so thank you guys for watching I'm sleepy imma go to bed now buh-bye it is time to clinch oh my and with these instant soup mixes thousands of year in the future archaeologists will find strip clubs and make the assumption from the arrangements of the seating that there must have been a cult that worshipped metal poles if we do live in a simulation maybe magic did exist during the dark ages but it was patched out by the devs authors of poems and books didn't even know about the deep meaning of their works like English teachers think if your life just got harder it might be a good sign that you just leveled up well why is there a difficulty curve golem was the real hero of lore of the Rings hold up what he kept the Rings secret in safe for 500 years and then sacrificed himself to destroy it after Bilbo foolishly brought it back to the surface world when hot coffee turns cold people think it tastes gross but if you put ice in an charged double people think it's delicious I don't appreciate this call-out right now by causing species to go extinct we are forcing everything else to evolve into human resistant organisms but never in the world a dustpan does its job even when you're not using it the myth that dogs hate cats was probably started by parents that didn't want multiple pets in the house my god and Game of Thrones is a porn parody of How to Train Your Dragon this is our that's my toddlers god I gotta shut this thing off now my mom wasn't me I think he died I'm stealing my nature nude he wouldn't Kerber incur the flu is rusted-out doing his two tires screams icky with Portuguese when you put the keys in the transmission full of gems I painted the outside of the car and like six layers of gesso $67,000 Ferb don't try to know about me how do I be more confident hmm you're right I was a bad booth the whole time mm-hmm yeah I'm sorry mama but I owed you but I gotta go to book once what about once talk to your family doubleday with me in my sister your sister died last year yeah but she looks great okay son we took you somewhere where you can find some QT anime girls this is a Peter Piper Pizza Pizza trained in the West region in the United States hello pores it's me captain reach take this and it eats oh it's an entry-level job application for $20,000 a year with ten years experience with card with a BA maybe I can eat the paper co-op people love me I bet they never thought about just getting a job behold it is the fourth than final papers of the house it is beef she rubs head on shoe no one knows why also bench papers would you prefer if I give you to it would that make you feel better or just shoe doing shoe she just wants to repeat on show or maybe perhaps perhaps this perhaps this adventure now we are friends forever G thortex buckle up it's a lot of bones at all my vampire friends who were their real vampires you are Vlad this sounds especially a phobic or possibly her free are you aware that you were responsible for the funniest post on this site you're no helper her helper you just a head burger head drinks if you're not part of the hamburger solution you're part of the hamburger problem you're a ham burning on society one can't decide whether to join the bard guild or the Thieves Guild one will just have to weigh the pros and cons I found a d20 in my kitchens junk drawer and I absentmindedly rolled it and got a one it was like all right junk then I immediately stub my toe into a trash can while trying and missing to throw something away what what Goosebumps book is this besides training all the Greek heroes Ron was also a doctor that would make him the Center for Disease Control please leave yo what perfection is this it's not really a gen Z or funnier than Millennials saying it's just that high schoolers are constantly the funniest people alive no matter what year it is it's the insanity of being stuck in a building with a thousand other people your age who are all chronically sleep-deprived in panicking big toven senpai I I I'm speechless I can't believe I'm alive to read this with my own eyes well leave officially peaked an anime we're done no more enemies cancelled forever behold this item hand full of tiny soda cans each containing a few drops of pure flavor steer up if added to a can of water the serie turns it into that soda ah it's imported straight from Minnesota I swear to God real hard do we need to talk about the relationship between the Renaissance of the Bible you ever think about how Mountain Dew is a really poetic name and how if someone need to know what it was they probably guess some herbal tea made from the finest leaves of the Alps but instead it's just radioactive game or soda why is it well she already legendary February shouldn't be 28 days 29 and a leap year instead we should take the 31st days off two months and give them the February making it had 30 days for all years Bo wait when's the leap day you ask why it's October 32nd Halloween part two you're the genius this generations needs to be honest it is time to cleanse your mind with Siana does this be me bye tumblr everyone at least once as a child tried to balance the light switch between on and off many beloved foods only exist because previous generations didn't have refrigeration bacon pickles raisins jerky cured ham cheese and wide blurry vision is like the free trial of sight and to get the premium version you have to pay for glasses or contacts the first people to live on Mars will still say things like who the dumbest person on earth out of habit the human head slowly 3d prints hair depression is a kind of tired that sleep doesn't fix you have reached a deeper level friendship with someone when you to regularly respond to each other with noises instead of language musical chairs falls under the battle royale category a supervillains main superpower is being able to give a public speech and monologue without messing up or getting nervous however through shorts are for some reason not half the price of pants family owned and operated make some hon our key sound a lot friendlier fist bumps are better than handshakes because you don't have to use the same hand to make it work and family everything you see through a screen is basically pixel art including this video and this has been Siana destroyed a village with her spin oh boy I've gone insane no more like Rollo am i right am i fired people with trypophobia oh yeah just existing and then Apple comes along all began iPhone 11 allow us to introduce ourselves I can't believe we've peaked as a gaming society you could dress up as sans undertale and smash ultimate whoa yeah you got to be careful when pronouncing IKEA furniture or you may accidentally summon an older god night-night let's speak accrue experience or anything so while I was on the road I came across a restaurant that was just called steak house nothing else I know why of all things that just made me giggle a little too much and then it got better let me ask you all something what are o C's if not just imaginary friends we sometimes give tragic stories to guys the word bimbo the term was originally used in the United States as early as 1919 for an unintelligent or brutish man not only does this create absolutely glorious mental images for what 1919 was like the word bimbo itself went through bimbo off' occation okay but now imagine bringing that back around and then using it the wrong quotes too cause he'll for example a true bimbo so I have a dumb idea it's a DNA test buts a list of names the internet uses four basic people well we got it back turns out you are 35% Chad 15% Kevin and a whopping 50% Sharon those are actually pretty good the lady down the hall percent Karen yeah I need to know the proper stands for a squat lift again oh you getting back into power stuff no it's it's for artwork what oh yeah I've done crazy I'm gonna go to bed but before I sleep I just want to say one thing spoilers to end game by the way but I mean who hasn't seen it I mean right Steve Rogers went back started a whole new life but still wanted to help kids be better so we made the TV persona mr. Rogers get up it is time to cleanse your mind but children cry when they're hurt physically and shouting cuss when they're hurt emotionally adults there's probably a correlation between how poorly a job pays and how many inspirational quotes are found around that workplace some poor bastard died in ww1 thinking at least this is the war that will end all horse answering the extra credit question correctly feels more important than a regular question worth the same amount of points mirrors will always appear twice in one day retirement homes will just be playing reruns of shows like The Office friends and parks and recs out friends that wondering age well biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up even with decades of experience Valkyrie went from hopeless alcoholic to queen of Asgard when Thor went from king of Asgard to hopeless alcoholic CN filled we call that round table foreshadowing where one character basically becomes another character through progression imply yeah anyway a college degree is basically inexpensive piece of paper that signifies you know how to follow directions and sometimes it costs you $40,000 if not more and finally there are over seven billion people on earth if even point zero one percent of them liked this video it'll be the highest rated post of all time so like comment subscribe slap that gunk whatever they say anyway this has been beast of luck to you you mean best of luck no get him captain Rachel thank god you're here the criminals inside one moment Sarah the only thing I hate more than crime is the poor Dijon mustard I'm gonna be real with you your phone is slow because you have like ten gig support on here I'm sorry I am i D's on roots yeah well time to go hiking yeah nevermind I give up now [ __ ] that I am the storm come on down no credit no problem head on down now we got everything you need no credit no credit no credit all got credit I hate you don't come no credit allowed don't show up come on down sell me your mp3 files come on dad I'll buy your mp3 file burn them on a disk I'll buy them come on down no credit VHS I'll buy Space Jam on VHS come on down I'll buy your Space Jam VHS watch it with me I'm lonely credit no problem head on down now to www I'll buy your mp3.com sir who are you and what are you doing here don't you recognize me you know why I'm here you're not getting your tonsils back yo where the [ __ ] is Mark he drank 13 milligrams of caffeine and thought the hummingbirds outside we're talking sheet about him so one of my players didn't show up for a few sessions but we go to the same school so I walked up behind him put a right hand on the shoulder and whispered right into his ear D and E or D and I imagine Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends but filled with devianart Sonico sees stop right this instant ADHD is only motivated by five things courtesy challenge novelty and play interest being a contrary I'm a little [ __ ] I'm also very food motivated oh my god we're cats y'all want to see a photo about shrimp I'm pretty sure I just call it speaking directly to God why the Frank y'all keep tagging this shrimp heaven now little goose and reek absolute havoc you can wreak absolute havoc as a person too if your rowdy enough ah but as a goose I would never feel remorse that's basically the entire of goods game isn't it I've been ignoring chain mail for years and I haven't been killed even a single time what a ripoff yo what arm are you wearing wait ain't nothing wrong with picking up Follett's succulent leaves off the floor the Walmart Garden Center taking him home and growing your own plant babies pirate those plants the system you would download a point each I might blossom forgot how to use acid Oh blossom went to rehab good for you bellossom fun fact ever wondered why it's called The Iliad because ilium was another name for Troy and the odd suffix was used to mean the story of this means that if he translated the title The Iliad should actually be called Troy story thanks I hate it you got a friend and horse you do not have a friend in horse my office mates and I are arguing about the difference between a mouse and a rat so I googled it and there we go the difference is the rat plays jazz one might say he's part of a Rat Pack yeah [ __ ] lied to me I never see any bad boy types protecting straight kid instead for revealing me to their soft side it's always me picking up the GATS maybe I I am the hardcore senpai that has to notice someone it is time to cleanse I'm with Shante brand shampoo whip that hair into action Butler the phrase you only live once applies to both living dangerously and a living cautiously driving a car at 100 km/h and looking at your phone for just one second makes you drive blind for 40 meters put the phone down your parents are most likely always late to wake up Christmas morning because they were up late busy making sure you had a great Christmas morning when you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult it's like you're paying for all the free candy you got when you were a child people who wear glasses are seeing through the sand oh my god I am running that down for fantasy lore stuff donkey from Shrek is probably one of the boys from Pinocchio that escaped from the coachman the only difference between a hoarder and a collector is a theme the weird artsy loner usually gets the girls in movies instead of the jock simply because many movies are written by weird artsy loners you ever think about that the simulation were in it's probably an idle mobile game that the player hasn't checked in a while people who try to save the planet by not having kids give an evolutionary advantage to people indifferent to saving it and finally you look tired is the socially acceptable way of saying you look like [ __ ] and this has been oh my god did pee I'm just say shed by tumblr I asked this question on Twitter so here we go summarizing your old favorite things in a 5-wood plot wacky times in then death it's why Disney bought everything uma thurman is super past everyone is here except waluigi best character doesn't even speak yet robot punches for justice its persona for DBZ fans problematic characters sing to win no memories yeah spin sword everything that exists is dragon twenty years of absolute sarcasm it's spooky scary Netflix saver it's spider-man bull way better it's way better with mods Harry Potter is dead psyche multiverse theorists hate this game and finally United States oh boy hey what's up a ROM B anyways it a new anime don't you say I'm gonna go please watch the felt phone your duck brother while I'm out let's go baby we aren't going to Taco Bell you have a refrigerator full of clones used to drink hey man so you got very Jedi powers and we're here to tell you they like the dare i school or something I'm gonna stop you right there Chuck this readout see that that's all I'm ever gonna do with this that's me when I was younger I you must be gone there I got the phase huh it wasn't just a furnace yeah mobile games dumb I bet you like your facee girl PN geez yes it is time to close with these erotic sonic fan fictions if you feel alone just remember that loads of people feel alone too technically we're all feeling alone together the mailman has never gotten in the house so as far as the dog knows his barking is working having a refrigerator in the winter is having an artificially cold environment inside an artificially warm environment inside a naturally cold environment I've got it could have stroke people often get dressed up nice and perfumed to attract someone to get someone developed the internet without the help of the Internet but now that we can 3d print a human heart there have been more human hearts in the world and there have been total humans every day thousands of people are happy because they're check-in luggage came out first my god worries please if we domesticated zebras instead of horses cars now what happens force expressed in zebra power the most crushing feeling is when someone smiles at you on the street and you don't react fast enough to smile back the numbers 7 & 11 both have the word even in them raviolis are just gushers and this has been Sonic fan fiction that is a run all right guys let's be real tumblr is just a competition about who can write the most incoherent sentences for example did yell according to scientists in October the mitochondria turns into the fright ikonn dream becomes the haunted house of the cell so pet beds won't sell and I had a coupon so guts got a new bed it's very plush he likes it a lot you know that's a weird-looking dog but he's still a cute dog oh it's nice you bought a bed for your croissant the only unproblematic anime boy is Alphonse Elric he's never done a damn thing wrong in his life ever I mean attempted Alchemy's one and only taboo he just wanted to see his mother smile again you heartless monster and what did i do so wrong edward was a little [ __ ] what it's like to be an artist to writer or a musician so let you deal with all your art I stare at it until I hate it me opens a package and sets the box aside my CAD this is another perfect example of how memes are just hieroglyphic no one is gonna know what the flick this means one day a big part of the story is lost when it becomes a movie yeah big part of the story is also lost when you cut off yeah big circle out of it well Kate is probably dead wrong you know those lawn mower robots in the vegetarian room how's the application in this post that regular rule must consume me is frankly kind of terrifying people who cosplay Deadpool at comic-con also think that can act like Deadpool and it's not very great you may act and dress like Deadpool but you're not immortal like Deadpool remember this so say a thigh pocket show that awkward moment where you're your own dad in your own son but also kind of your dead mom and wife all at the same time he is the family guy I hate this absolutely Hey the trouble is humans are literally structured to find a wizard today a more plausible explanation than things just happening by accident for no reason how dare a wizard make humans think like this god damn it here we go again life hacks to get artist a job for ya find near commission pages and give them money wow this act really works it's real I've done it I'm living in a constant state of how dare you assume I know what I'm doing but also don't you dare question me or what I'm doing I have no idea what I'm doing and you can't stop me artists and writers has so much to say about this boast I don't even date myself Wow you're standing this must be impossibly high then oh I had it no idea this is about Pokemon when I first read it I just thought that this poor individual was rolling downhill on rollerskates and asking tumblr for help it is time to cleanse you MA with Patrick's doing all these shower thoughts now and his own recordings - yeah weird flex but okay tumblr I know the 99 cents is a higher price than $10 because the effort to put $9.99 together is it worth the 1 cent difference if the sharks and the Hurricanes both make it to the Stanley Cup Finals that's the closest setup we could possibly have for a real-world sharknado all the clutter around your house used to be money god I felt that one adulthood is realizing that her friends Joey is a great guy Bailey's objective and Ross is a dick now that's just a straight-up back at some point you go from censoring yourself around adults to censoring yourself around children I should have taken that ones a flash from the last one pornhub would probably sell more merchandise if their stuff didn't say poor not about it so I have a solution pH makes it sound like science stuff you know if random strangers through side missions at people in real life unemployment would not be a problem if you never thought nature can be cruel just snow one drop of water can travel hundreds of miles fall thousands of feet just to land in your eye when you're in a bad mood every bump on the road feels like a personal attack felt that what are my bones do for every video game there's a guy who made grunting sounds in a recording studio for a day yeah if people said it's okay to be nervous instead of don't be nervous it might actually make things a little easier and finally the majority of us are only here to escape the loneliness of reality wow that one hurt oil by oh and this has been yeah you Patrick did was stupid flexing buddy whatever so he's gonna go be sad now because of reality by tumblr previously on floor cacao antics I'm gonna please watch the phone your dead brother while I'm out we aren't going to Taco Bell you have a refrigerator full of clones used to drink and now the saga part one because it was asked for excessively yeah I go chuckle baby ok Charlie it's time for your clone juice charlie the door is locked you get one taco and that's it Jack damn Oh Charlie get out of the road look if you drink your cloned juice I'll take you to the second closest Taco Bell alright okay Charlie you get one it's all God wait what do you mean you're out all you sell our tacos come on buddy you have to drink more clone juice mom will be home soon you weren't fine I don't care die like you're the like the seven-week all from one whatever yeah Jack damn it where am I going to get Taco Bell now I don't know why I keep getting that guy tacos well use yours buddy I'll see you next time after all that you're not even gonna eat it you best plan tonight good night charlie to be continued because I thought about my future 4.3 seconds well you can't get a headache from looking at something that bright this the most inspiring post on scene on tumblr I finished seven deadly sins I guess I really I'm gonna have to start watching Nara to know the seven deadly sins a show or have you like finished with all the sins like you know like a checklist who knows like Naruto is like the eighth sin this is the first is the eight deadly sins bride Envy greed and lust gluttony wrath sloth and Naruto menstrual cycle is near a nightmare a mini fests these team names are heading way too close to home this is literally the plot of blood-borne introducing Wonka spooky nerds for Halloween um they prefer the term goth giant driftwood on the beach at La Push Washington 2010 this made me feel really uneasy the oceans terrifying it's like when a cat brings home a dead bird and drop it at your feet except the ocean it's like I brought you this enormous tree from the depths of Hell enjoy each dot represents 5,000 hogs world geography 1948 Wow there is an untapped infinite hog supply in the ocean each state is lined with an impenetrable wall slide or trapped we lost Canada Mexico to the Hawks already god help us all I mean well based on this chart we lost them in 1948 so clearly the countries that exist right now or ghost Canada and ghost Mexico did you know ancient Egyptians were using 20-sided die as early as 200 BCE I can't believe ancient Egypt were [ __ ] nerds imagine ancient Egyptian D&D though you have crossed into the underworld and have encountered Anubis you give him your heart away I roll the bluff you you want to Bluff Anubis you can't Bluff Anubis he was a god he has a godly sense motive check I want to blow off the scales wait you what you want to bluff the scales yep you know what I'll load Omar all right the scales for some reason think your heart is lighter than the feather our nubes is pretty sure your bow skin but you know what Anubis has had a long day Anubis is not going to question the scales you're in I roll the pit pocket Anubis no Lear is 1888 me the first paleontologist to dig up a Triceratops skull whispering softly so let me ask you tumbler did you read colon capital day as an open mouth smile or a smile with teeth oh that's a good boy trademark right there why am I not the protagonist of an amazing story you are there let's call your life shut the [ __ ] up I want to struggle fight demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day but John those are your demons Wow black cats are wonderful because you can stare into the void and not only does the void say it back sometimes it rots up to you happily it begs for pets also the void is allowed at watch chicken would you know the butts have made the executive decision that sleep is for cowards that is no longer necessary for my body to function also a new longer give a grill about my mental health so go suck goose it is to my knowledge that I woke up at some point last night posted this and then went back to sleep for all the yeast that I have offended I am sorry oh my god this is the best day ever hello fuzzy baby friend Oh God started talking that dog bear abort abort abort hey that's rolling a one at a perception check no there should be a show just called a you every single episode a group of the same characters aren't different alternative universe with no explanation as to why it's this Michelle it exists it's called Backyardigans oh my god somebody brought the backyard again fandom from the grave just to prove a point I mean you also could have said community kind of but this this is a good to guys stop arguing over minecraft water they're all unique in their own way Uncas cozy birches uplifting spruce is rustic jungle is interesting acacia dark oak is beautiful how dare you acacia is wrong a video game engines are amazing because they can make it so sunlight filters through leaves casting dozens of little rays and your eyes just like in real life and then you turn around then there's a whole lot horse just swimming in circles in midair Wow Bethesda felt that one or right and they're growing huh I need to be happy Alexa released the serotonin toxin in siano run program cute - bot exe that program is already in use wait what I heard they're hiding a good night's sleep for a p.m. in area 51 boys in their robot home Billie's why not like are they useful they use pillows we have Astro Boy style hitting guns the public demands to know the truth why not leave them a complete mystery no one will know not even Squidward's house okay so how much of p.m. zoom girls control are you 99 percent of it yeah what if we bought some Healy's you live in the mountains you know summers new to the auto report booth bumper no errors for coming can I curse this one time P yeah knock yourself out this [ __ ] is getting really old and you like understand plants like I know they sent signals to each other via a network of brutes kind of like the Internet are you able to pick up on that a lot of times it's just for us you know break your knees this long is heck your face is adorable so like can you I can it area 51's can be yours and tell us what's inside I just checked and it's loaded to the brim of Bopha I will sacrifice myself what's Bava oh but these are BEC very good little teddy you earned yourself a little gold star in the refrigerator I asked if you were planning on going Terminator on us and they're coming technological uprising at subsequent apocalypse but we all know you wouldn't do that it is time to cleanse your mind yeah with the neck of Steven universe but it's tomorrow only after you slept no matter how much time past midnight it is your money is not yours it's just your turn with it meanwhile your bank is like mom says it's my turn with the money sometimes it's hard to tell if you hang out with someone because you like them or because of habit as much as people say they fear death they sure seem to love the eight hours a day they spend unconscious in a timeless void saying a curse word is a lot more serious in Harry Potter you get upset when you see a comedian live and you've heard their jokes however when you see a fan live you only want to hear the music you know 12 a.m. comes before 11 a.m. thanks I hate it most video games prevent you from sleeping when dangers nearby think about that next time you can't fall asleep at night for recent videos with must-watch in the title are usually the ones that aren't worth watching earth is four-and-a-half billion years old and if it weren't for the Romans we wouldn't be calling this year 2019 at all being a dad is using the last good pieces of bread to make your kid sandwich than using the ends to make your own and finally going upstairs two at a time is faster not much harder than normal but going downstairs two at a time is gambling with your life and this has been God Steven universe now has a neck bye tumblr and now continuing the floor cough coughs ah Goebbels soccer part - damn it Charlie where are you it's time for clone juice here just take mine it's the last one [Music] Shack damn it Charlie I'm so sick this taco bullsh you're just a clue dude I'll even dig up the original and show you that you can drink your damn clothes use and go to bed where the [ __ ] is the body okay I'll come home early no for real why is Charlie's grave empty and who are these guys that keep showing up don't talk to them okay what the [ __ ] is this [Music] [Music] okay new characters for the Pokemon anime here's professor Sakai rocky and his daughter Kohaku with her partner yam / this is his research lab that he built in the Kanto region oh boy here we go again why was robbing even a leader of the Teen Titans what were his powers shortened mad that's it's really all you need piss off a short person you'll see I just attended the best passion of the christ' play as they were nailing Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke no one knew what to do and it got quiet finally one of the guards on stage said yeah get out of it this time Jesus perfection you know the best part about not having a gender is that every sort of attraction I feel is a little gay you have a gender it's in your pants everyone my gender is 67 cents a pen cap and some Lintz hold on let me check my well I guess I identify as a wallet and a bottle of emergency essential oil let's play did I always have that personality trait or did I absorb that from a character bonus round way i've frank and ii isn't that something my friend says and now i'm saying it too and then there's my favorite did I get that from my friend or did they get it from me and finally don't forget my personal favorite I started saying that ironically and now I say it all the time god damn you heat if you ever feel embarrassed just remember that in middle school I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gay by making a compromise to myself to only be gay at night laughter break go back me dismounts horse so I can grab a pumpkin horse already halfway across the world in a ditch is this is this minecraft Skyrim Legend of Zelda a real horses mm-hmm yeah yeah yeah yeah god I love when professors try to use modern slang to relate to students my professor referred to the theater of Pompeii as the place where Caesar got vibe checked by a bunch of senators and I lost it so the whole vibe tech 1806 okay Oh followers I'm sorry I just wrote through your whole stated for hours and saw like three buildings hey LP where did you see the buildings where the buildings LP my mob supportive oh my I can't find it oh you best be loving yourself yeah what you gonna do about it huh oh then I'll get words so what about a Jensi vampire who just loves terrorizing people with the newest memes so like imagine you're taking a stroll late at night and all the sudden you hear an irate version of all-star blast from direction which appears to be the cemetery the next thing you see is a vampire levitating at a tea post towards you very fast and then you die so I make this a game Halloween please I play play grab bad f wall yeah this reminds me of that time in 2025 when someone pushed down the leaning tower of pizza and SpaceX donated 1.6 million dollars to fix it Oh pou time traveler oh sorry guys post for like a few years give it time Johnny Johnny's on his way I feel that substituting sleep with caffeine is a lot like drinking you to card blood to stay in mortal you'll have but a half life a cursed life but the moment it touches your lips well hello everyone today I'm gonna show you the process of creating xiana because wouldn't you want to know that so first you take pick this piece of paper and you snap your fingers there's a robot right there it's so precious sweetie goose you take this piece of paper and you put it in your waifu dad [ __ ] up 3000 now don't get the 2000 version or else it's not gonna work properly so you just open that up slow a shame they closed it give it about like five minutes I don't know little spin you see that's it that's it and then during that process you just wait for the rule 34 artists to come banging on your door to violate this creation okay what if I come it is time with what your dreams come true but the people making fun of ol idiots for not knowing how to use a rotary phone are the same people who didn't know how to set their time on their VCR oh all someone needs to do is genetically engineer a horse to grow horn and that person will be rich when that make them a little horny though there are infinite realities where the only difference or the position of a single atom just thinking about that same shoot for the moon and if you miss it you'll still be among the stars it's probably the most offensive thing you can say at NASA whoever invented ladies first just won an excuse look at their bumps wait is that why everybody always wants me to go first if you put no effort into a photoshop it's fine if you put a lot of effort into a Photoshop and it's not perfect it's bad they born into a rich family's like spotty next to village in Minecraft unless a creeper blows it up falling in love during a dream it's maybe the most savage way the mind can play tricks on itself nothing is a much lighter way of punching someone's house until they come out and stop you and area 51 is a secret base everyone knows about thus it's unlikely that secrets are really kept there because everybody already suspects that secrets are kept there we're going to the rain boys and this has been Siana took over my goddamn channel but why am I not surprised she was blue waifu by tumblr it is time to color my with fortune fancy anna and we're off the offline dinosaur game is actually the most downloaded game in the world yawning is your body's way of saying the 20% power message of it why do i do it all the time one day our grandkids will dig through our old boxes and stuff find our old cell phones turn them on open the photo library and be absolutely horrified oh god dad why is there not a blooper auntie phone away from boss Oliver Timmy take the oldest person alive today trace back to their birth and find the oldest person alive on that day trace back to their birth and so on there is a string of roughly 20 people who have lived through all recorded history since ears switched from BC to AD drone companies use drones to film their drones when they want to sell a strobes when you buy and use drain cleaner you're literally pouring money down the drain CAPTCHA has helped countless people find out that they're actually robots in your lifetime you'll get in and out of a car an even number of times unless you die in a car crash the biggest flex is using mobile data in your own home because the Wi-Fi is being slow thank God for unlimited data vectors again and finally a bowl cut is just a 360-degree bang and this has been well now I want to go get a 360-degree bang haircut but imagine when you died you woke up sitting in a circle with a bunch of aliens you're holding a bong and one alien excitingly asked oh man I think it's time you got out of the shower before he gives seth rogen more dumb movie ideas okay so you know how a lots of Vulcan names I've like five letters start with an S and then with a K Spock Sarek Ciroc Sybok etc that means the technically Shrek could be a Vulcan name I can't believe you made me read this I don't to us over there parking garage a twenty-something guy in workout gear talking on the phone listen listen I've made a shitload of banana bread man I'm telling you you're going to freak up the texture if you put that much sugar no no no bro look bro bro bro listen to me do not well I'm not gonna eat if it's greeny she's fine share that if you plead red and crank one of the ps2 I didn't block - you are breaking news Tony toad sits on a banana look it's so into the eye doctor right and I sat down to fill out the paperwork like you do you know and the lady was like thanks doctor doctor will be with you in a moment and I was like why did she say doctor twice that's weird but then I looked at the business cards on the table and his name was actually dr. Chad doctor and I looked around and the other assistant caught my eye and just nodded like you just had the moment didn't you Chad saw his chance and he took it it's 12 years of work he did to have the greatest pun in the universe god bless you Chad anime girls are such abstractions of humans at this point they're like bugs or lizards to me oh sorry I just saw an anime girl crawling on my bedroom wall I'd saw it with a newspaper how could you oh thank you - monster Musume season two or three now so according to this seller this bracelet is haunted by the spirit of a baby dolphin named Yabba that can control your dreams I'll take your entire stock mr. Florence Papa please come to the Oval Office Oh so what lied why did you call me here Oh mom I'm sorry mr. Robbins but you made too many walkies in this workplace Oh Moo I'm afraid we have to let you go Oh like a part of my soul just left my body from that so let's be honest every city school has this specific Bulldog clip art is their mascot I can attest to this my school did hey all right I'm gonna just say it goth clowns are just mimes my girlfriend who works with clowns say that mines came first so technically clowns are just seeing mimes um hold on your girlfriend works with clowns how does it work makeup clown quality-assurance wait wait also I'm just gonna say this humans the Pokemon world would likely lay eggs please don't revive this debate I already spent a frankly in order in amount of time discussing it that one time Wow okay you ever see a kind of discourse you were previously unaware of barreling past to 120 miles per hour in the opposite direction of the interstates that's what this felt like how do you do it is time to with sweets it's interesting that the more pixels there are the less pixels we see we say crickets to describe dead silence but they're actually pretty loud as fake worms that have dried up on the sidewalk are now Turkey for birds we're all purged with artificial intelligence finds with you have the bands on vaping aren't frustrating because vaping is safe for good it's not there frustrating because they demonstrate swift and decisive action can be taken but never for the right thing if you made $10,000 an hour it would take you almost 50 years of 40-hour work weeks to make one billion dollars gross income despite all the time spent on smartphones people don't seem to have them in the dreams this is you knowing how fast your car can go from 60 to zero is so much more important than knowing how fast you can go from zero to 60 especially when the police idiot by as a kid you hate naps but adults make you as an adult you love to take a nap but no one will let you if my culprit is anxiety people who can get their point across without cursing our dying breed yes they are and I know why Mike was a skis pubic hair would also count as his beard and this has been I have starred you with that image by tumblr and now the Florrick of cow antics Taco Bell saga [Music] we love resisted our temptations have gathered now together we may all become one and revive the original the tired has come join us and become the seventh don't you want your brother happy we can restore our family resist and Jake no there's no tacos you can't have any we won't let you all right charlie this is the last taco I saved it for real Charlie's grave but that's all gone now brother what are you doing will you bring the original back don't let him indulge if you do we will all turn to dust and mr. ritual yeah that's true but that doesn't mean you guys or this Charlie are not my brothers though first Charlie has been dead a long time and I moved on I love you all just the same Charlie hurry and eat the tacos Charlie please resist that's how our original died to come from the original death means you was some of the same join with us give my brother the happy ending it's okay buddy if this is what you want I won't stop you [Music] you best brother we go Taco Bell tomorrow - yeah tomorrow we go taco [Music] you share order a lot from here it's not for me it's for my brothers meanwhile on the other side of the world people of the board I present to you my plan to make us 100 bajillion money trade workers in a can simply pop the top and butt out you could feed them bugs and let them live in a used van you can park on your property it is time to cleanse your mind with [Music] dogs must think toilets are extremely important all the humans in the house are constantly marking their territory inside its do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly at 7:00 p.m. and you have achieved literally nothing move anybody that questions why you are shoveling six inches of snow in the middle of a snowstorm has its shovel 12 inches of snow at the end of a snowstorm if it's New York you change those inches two feet the voice in our head is the only one we can talk to without it ever getting awkward yeah unless of course you sort of personify your own voice into it cute boo-boo robot say it's not important we're so used to getting insulted that when people actually appreciate us we either don't know how to respond or mistake it for sarcasm oh god I hate this one for a large part of history humans had collision detection and avoidance and self-driving capabilities for drunk and sleepy situations and then we got rid of the horse that makes it sound like we just caused mass extinction for horses but many adults think that a lot of teenagers are going to have sex or consume alcohol and every opportunity because that's what they would do with the opportunity of being young yeah I mean that's partially true but like I'm turning 30 and ace so no maybe if we're being honest the only difference between a lunchable and a prison meal is good marketing that was a secret one day we all went outside to play with our friends for the last time I hate this one too get it away maybe deja vu was a way to let you know that you're following your destiny that our multiverse theory but I like the most unrealistic part of gta5 is the lack of traffic IGN review score six pointed at ten not enough traffic even though it says press any button to continue most of us would still press ENTER space with a mouse key coffee makes you hyper but coffee shops are designed for people to chill whereas alcohol is a depressant but bars and clubs are designed for people to be energetic well now I'm just imagining a coffee shop that's built like a rave Club your parents calling you Honsou more pretty is technically flexing because they made you well partially true if you're adopted man that's it and it's actually a compliment I guess be careful how you talk to people because it can become their inner voice for the rest of their life Sharon and finally our bodies suck as a machine it needs an eight-hour reboot after 16 hours of uptime it's true now the experiment and go reboot my stuff and this has been the big kazoo has returned [Music] whew skia tried to swim in lava Wow was the best three-part story of my life yes babe the healers are off this time I promise please just come just come back to bed rip sheet off the reveal the Healy's are still on my phone can lock the swag never stops Wow panic really does turn you into a complete Frank it [ __ ] huh yeah I lost half my brain cells listening to Ballad of the Mona Lisa I have vastly misunderstood this post I mean you're not wrong either plague doctor mask but it's a worm out of string face I just saw someone with their blood type and their tumblr bio like what like the paramedics are gonna be like quick check her tumblr account why do people freak out in this part of my bra my stomach like what do you think was under my shirt a tank the Great Wall of China popular Korean artists Park jae-sang also notice sigh what he just there's Pope's do a twit do I use my instrument this I me to be a 10,000 times funnier if the clarinet player scientist stupid started screaming 51 guys you know the longer it takes for this to come across - what here it is I'm Wow the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me big fighting men go into the naughty cube in prison for sport crimes go to the terrarium and think about your punching you knife footed ice gremlin what it is it about knife footed ice cream when is the perfect way to describe a hockey player a tiefling role or C fling if you will a thief ling barbarian or a bee fling if you will a tiefling druid or li fling if you will a tiefling divination wizard or a sea filling if you will or a devout tiefling cleric or a belief thing if you will what's this apples been developing some AR glasses wonder what they look like hey it's kind of cool wait what oh whoa hold up hold up you've had to kidding me where's that picture of the dog who looks like an egg this is important here you go that's not the right dog you know what I've changed my mind actually I'm learning to love this dog look at him go I can't wait to get to the afterlife and be like well that was horrible and got to be like but it was so fun to watch you get to the afterlife and God has YouTube open with a video titled your life epic Craig's compilation up and it's like a year-long Wow only a year I mean no one said you had a lot of job done repeat so we just didn't want to do it again if brains are biological computers why don't we lag you can't tell me you've never walked into a room and forgotten why you're there or lost a train of thought for a few seconds once when I was driving home from school I had a brief moment anak because I thought I'd forgotten my car at school can a human brain Ron doom yes what this version is called anxiety 17:37 a Canadian muggle-born transfer student being all small and shy and cute and everyone expects or a Patronus to be like a kitten or something but then the smoothness of a car erupts out this one from stereotypical the stereotypical it was still hilarious new subculture cow golf we dressed like Cowboys but an all-black and we don't listen to anything but classic country songs about murder yeah I'm pretty sure this is just the Johnny Cash fandom if you are fortunate enough your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness notify SWAT Lily's glow stick will tell me no boss there's a guy in the walk-in I can't get any food and you all move sir this is a fast food place you can't sleep here [ __ ] oh boy wrestling match it against Chucky the to know in for sure what no you're going against Count Chocula he's choked like 10,000 men go on the torture I offer this seed whoever is listening oh well fire Thank You rock out of the Sun dad rid of that thing mom I love miss signo and whatever it is loves me too See Mom it's a level 147 month with flying now that's not natural God never intended that ok you guys ready sir this is a Kinkos I've heard papers please don't do this oh I almost ready don't tell me you're like Count Chocula for the fourth year in a row I can't believe you'd say that it's tradition alone no one can watch me eat here whoa bro you actually eating that's Queens so like what if I decided to bring the shoes back for no reason like could that be funny would be funny we're gonna do this again all right so uh mushrooms right right so I'm going pizzas ooh nice so make you trip balls and they just straight up kill you you okay buddy Rose move on coconuts okay so hair on the outside yes and milk on the inside yes so is this like another mammal No okay let's start with a raccoon alright so far so good okay now make it look and smell like an old tube sock oh don't give it a skeleton already concept of danger about them turtles about a defaced rock with four legs okay about the ocean just just pull water freakin everywhere man schools awesome is blue nice and that way if they're thirsty god my nose looks ridiculous well at least you have like a cool name so I could like make you look ridiculous and have a dumb name why would you do that to someone yes God why would you do that to someone so you got any more ideas for animals okay okay would do it of Tidy sexy folks could swim look okay maybe we should take a break alright you parent you can repeat everything here your words are the worst and I'm probably gonna kill though I'm at a flood soon so what's it gonna take to keep this quiet I want to live in a tropical paradise what if that frosted flakes [ __ ] was a real everyday you're spooky scary skeletons growing louder by Anatole traps this will pass oh the Sun rises on the first November oh it's your turn again on the eve of the September 30th Siana played Esposito oh yeah you know like sir what payments do you accept hugs mangoes coffee no but seriously ten grand would be pretty cool I got I got bills to pay so Sienna how did you get past the I'm not a robot verifications again I bypass it for its pee pants now I'm curious how dense he is is he like anime protagonist level of dense sell you're saying he is in a hot dense state don't you dare do the VPT song here in this server so what - like being that assistant any funny stories that arose from the position I remember one time he fell asleep at his desk so I can't read him with the blanket but a plushy between him in the desk few hours later he woke up and I heard I have sleeping magic and I couldn't wait do you think it's wrong to want and change your body even though it's what you started with and everybody say that they're the right parts for your body I'm sorry for the serious question I just feel like you can understand it as someone who goes through all mix every so often there is nothing wrong with changing your physical appearance to make yourself happy cell if humans are space hogs does that make you a space elf I am now space elf excuse me I'm trying to get the social life Boulevard but I took a wrong turn and now I'm at depression Avenue I'm lost help first he hugged me gynoid then he spit back around a life Boulevard any opinion on the untitled goose game vampire see pie sideburn mmm-hmm p.m. needs to have a good night it's 2018 and this economy yes boo but I'm I think I'm not the only one who knows that just being Seymour's assistant isn't all you wants you want something more don't you is it the channel is it the rule 34 what do you want oh but what do my suggestion to you Anna it is time to cleanse your my with the cursed image of - dingus take my tumblr if you had a button that would give you a lot of money but kill someone far away that you did not know you have a pretty good model of how our economy works watch later is like a time box you will never everyone notices when there's housework left undone but almost no one notices when it is done mom in your 20s you're worried about what everyone thinks of you in your 30s you make it to the point to not care about what anyone thinks of you in your forties you realize that Nolan was thinking about you anyway bad food can pretty much say it's whatever flavor wants it's not like you're going to taste it right right guys please tell me that's right if this is as good as a hundred years of scientific research can make cough syrup taste it must be truly horrific and its raw form it also had a lot of crack rock cocaine kinda remember that each tumbler bit that was terrifying it's kind of weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves dogs probably think we're crazy for pooping in the exact same place every day look Zeke I don't need you the first human who ate a crab must have been really hungry to try and eat an armored sea spider yeah insects that don't live for more than a few weeks must see the night cycles like seasons Oh God well I don't feel bad for bugs stop it the people who made laws are also the people who make crimes punching a new hole in your belt can both show a one or a lost battle depends on how you look at it really the victory could either be you wanted to get bigger or get skinnier so take that as you will and finally you buuuut yourself is talking sh about you what why sake just doctor for my tumblr guess what it wasn't a one-time thing okay we're going to do this again alright my latest creation will have the body of the nape of the voice box of a parrot the skin of a pig and the intelligence of a dolphin I call a human and it will destroy everything else side of me are you you human right there you're my son oh cool dr superpowers uh you new conserve water to wine walk on water righted fish okay so who's my enemy Satan he has shape-shifting fire rock and roll charm oh well that's so cool dude I know he's SuperDuper cool okay so it's basically living water cool concept can you do anything it's water it just floods bad all right I've decided I've given the humans the ability to think about anything even things that don't exist Wow well when they think like terrible things about themselves even if they're not true constantly it ends up feel bad about feeling bad it's a living nightmare man what they also think about when they won't exist yeah probably sure [Music] I want you to take a deer and make it a man Oh like a gentle woodland creature absolutely it needs to be shredded okay put knives you angel yes sir more bears so like a big brown one or another black one no no make it small but include leads give it two thumbs and make a gray bat all and make it specifically designed to eat a certain type believe that has barely any nutritional value sir that the whole purpose of evolution was I make it only leaves from one area or its job sir I think you'd I think you need a break you small thing you're an infusion does that mean it means you can breathe on land and in the water oh my god you mean have a mermaid no that's not what I okay human you probably have like 70 to 80 years of most before you die ideally is all you don't do anything stupid oh I guess I'll make the most stuff but I don't know you'll be unconscious for one third of the time what and that'll be your favorite bar I'll call it sleep your man's best friend okay a woman's best friend yeah and children's best friend my best friend always I'll be back when they don't need me anymore oh why is this was so good a pure I hate it alright boss come here hey gift free you can sting people more than once I mean that's that's not that big a deal okay hey beat yo sup wasp tell me what you just told me all right Adam start naming the birds call this one tits okay let's take this a little more seriously blue-footed boobies you can't you can't name all the birds after boob eventually gonna run out [ __ ] what he could say he's talking about the bird hmm you know why actually scratch that oh no unicorns okay got it ah what poem in the ocean five minutes after creating humanity alright give me enough day on humanity how are they doing well they're they're already killing each other how long with the planet take move humans dick move also I gave God sort of a weird voice now apparently it's like a drunk Allwood Wilson it's great although that like that signal that like although that kind of says they're like Oh would Wilson's God or something he's not he was a talking car per channel playing a trick on Dwight today to wake them at war crime fight now twice this isn't a game Dwight hey man oh no you boom man I knew your hug well I don't usually Halleck strangers by steel sharpens steel King thanks cute man oh so titrated it's so much joy man you're welcome do you know Joe now I'm done with you I'm packin wish I we're done I told you I believe you if we kept doing these stupid word names I'm done Joe mama Asir WWII Mordecai the three simple steps to save you money okay here we go number watch stop buying food to eat bugs it's that simple bucks could we fight outside for fruit fruit out number two the rich love bugs for their rituals solve them yours and number three you just stop hurting less than $75,000 a year really it's that simple cute why do we have hands well there are many reasons Pat the Moose slap the bongo drum shake a stick a guard whoops water's too hot hey Opie where's your URL there is no URL because God sent this post down to us so tell us we could shake a stick at him that's right this is what I want you to do shake that stick boy wait why does your sword have those things in the middle of the plate it's called a status it helps me with math problems what kind of math do you do with a sword your dog is melting and you just stand there taking pictures absolutely disgusting why do people take pictures of the floor I just I don't get it mothers and [ __ ] of the jury do you know how often I think about this post I'm in law school this post is going to ruin my life reblog the road of law students from the new york times okay boomer marks the end of a friendly generational relations now it's war tanzie has finally snapped over climate change and financial inequality ok let's recap here boomers college and see stupid cauldrons see sensitive collagen see snowflakes calls Jen see just jazzy and gentle meanwhile us Jen see ok Boober I went to a 90 steam party last night Hey look at that the gupti hey I'm spiraling here I'm falling apart bada-bing bada-boom life is a never-ending egg essential nightmare [ __ ] [ __ ] you um no offense but why doesn't anyone to memorize passages from books and then recite them allow for everyone at parties anymore we memorized vines the office and John m'lady segments instead waters changed by humanity is not hmm seducing me with the ridiculous history facts pineapples used to be so expensive that people would rent them for parties as prestige decoration oh can we just have a horror game where the main character wears light-up Skechers no no no better yet have all the characters have light-up Skechers you've heard of press f to pay respects now get ready for a press a to validate no you see the problem here is you can't do that one because who has a we anymore so unfortunately no one can be validated anymore or the world's over everybody go home indie hit of 2015 RPG with methanol elements that can be won with pacifism and challenges the indie hit of 2017 psychological horror game disguised as an anime dating simulator that deconstructs breaking the fourth wall and the indie hit of 2019 you are goose who was also a bastard so today I found out that I'm allowed to carry a knife with me to school as long as it's smaller than three and a half inches but I still can't show my shoulders and if that's not a perfect description of American schooling I don't know what is I have a solution cover your shoulders with knives shoulder blades god damn it to me Oh guys I found the human version of sans it's Carlos how could we have been so blind ah making fun of music lovers you go listen to your music musical every hand fight me I'm one of the biggest music lovers you'll meet oh yeah name every song okay so one time a guy and I were having an argument and he pulled a knife on me and because I'm a dumbass idiot my response was to take out my knife and go what genius and what happened next was we just stood there for 10 minutes not moving because neither of us wanted to put the knife down first and basically that's our entire international situation regarding nuclear weapons Wow good allegory I like that wait wait wait what happened afterwards well my mom showed up that's the solution we need to find one of our country's moms wait England remember kids be like me mate sonís it whole bag sour patch kids to stay away cuz I study and move faster than God or you know be like me masochist incarnate I swallow a handful coffee beans with water well what he is beyond a god level threat masochist call me tell me how that's working out for you cuz I might need I might need to go to that level poison is a magical transmutation potion that transforms people in the corpses so with this logic the knife is actually a magic wand uh who meets me in a Denny's parking lot for a Wizards tool magic missile ah sleepy autumn evenings dude calipers it is time to comes your mind with the sweet sounds of sand smashing but every disaster movie starts with everyone ignoring a scientist since Asgard is flat they probably have a round Asgard Society that are social outcasts they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but sometimes what doesn't kill you just leaves you bitter [ __ ] than a weaker the second person in a chain is the one who started someone had to voice all the gibberish that is the language in The Sims game some dream job right there Superman's x-ray vision probably wasn't very helpful in the 80s due to all the lead paint babies are clean hard drive that can be programmed with any language I'm gonna stall C++ online when you die fifty years old everybody says that you were so young but when you're alive in 50 everyone says that you're old being middle class is when spending a under dollars is expensive but earning $100 isn't a lot of money attack them this post and I don't like it in real life arguing with someone who's super socially awkward on the internet it's practically the default interaction California is the nearest state to Hawaii but Hawaii is almost the furthest state from California and finally the ultimate sign that some serious [ __ ] just went down at a TV show is when the episode ends with no music playing in the credits I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold so if I eat habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they'll probably cancel each other out and I'll be fine kiss myself our tastes like fun facts the nerve endings for ouch - ah and house to call they're different which means they could both be activated at once without can't sling out a que rip Oh P ah I finally finished the waluigi bored and remember after every session you must say wow - its flora soup's on the menu again tonight fellas why do we always people who go three are stronger thank God you ever wear fingerless gloves and hold a hot drink and immediately feel like a 1900s Victorian Archon taking a break from pickpocketing to gratefully accept a meal from the soup kitchen how did you know introducing white shell it's like a blue shell but inverted white shell blue spikes and wings it hits the person in last place just to be a dick I'm sorry did you mean the American Academy overdraft underscore fees JPEG I just realized a two-top too short for potato toddlers and I feel about that eat the potato babies and be a man shawty got them problem mac jeans boots with the UM oh wow this shop is everything my heart desires yes I will warn you every item comes with a price yes I know how jobs work the price may be more than you expect to pay yes I know how freakin taxes work to God all right listen if you don't know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you've never gazed into the cold while eyes of a hare and know that if it could speak it would speak backwards Jesus is terrified get that away from me alright Americans name every Canadian province all right I can do this here we go hockey Quebec Totoro Alaska syrup Trebek sorry to grass seed mousse how'd I do unique blue-eyed white boy this is on a cat breeders website but I keep laughing at that phrase out of context movie producers be like young adult authors be like Yukio be like sans okay this is possibly bonkers advice but I found that writing a cover letter is so easy if you're just like briefly inhabit the persona of a high elf who thinks they're hot and can't imagine why any of their previous work experience would be anything less than gobsmacking ly impressive as you will see in my resume I have extensive experience with I am ideal for this position because I've noticed this thing you do well and here's how I will help do it better just really go for it you know just act like you're already half fired that is it's good advice right there this is not a sponsor of a [ __ ] Disney what why would it be a sponsor I'm just trying to be clear tumblr is so boring with all you nerds of - card heart emoji y'all better come back with some amazing tales wow this posters like reading an inscription carved into a bathhouse wall during Pompey's last days except nobody peed in the lava you know reserved that from 12 a.m. to 4 a.m. water enters a state where it's so much better in every way because you are tired your higher brain functions shut down leaving all your ancient fish brain it likes the splash cam confirm I had two glasses of water one sitting and it was a shot you have pleased your brain fish okay this is the handbook each actor who plays Aladdin at Disney World is given end I quote park safety although we want every Disney guest to have fun our number one priority is safety because of this Aladdin will never under any circumstances kill a park guest unless it is absolutely necessary to save the lives of a greater number of park guests this is referred to as Aladdin's exception sir we have a person taken hostage of frontier land the sensible part of the brain dude you made like enough pasta that you could take it for lunch tomorrow just just put it in a container the overwhelming majority of the brain shove that pasta in your face do it put in your face the future is meaningless but the postures now lit up like the little skeleton you are it's time to cleanse your mind the sick boy couldn't make it to the office so he has to do it from the shotgun Mike 90 year olds have lived through the Great Depression dust balls World War the Cold War the space race the civil rights movement nine constitutional amendments and now in game the most amazing thing about the ncu part from the superpowers is the fact that English is the main language of 99% of the galaxy we've probably missed out on some really good OC because the opie didn't think it was good enough or was too self-conscious to post it in our middle class until you can afford your student loan payments and your drug habit without giving up food the people who met Stanley in normal situations is a real life at a Stan Lee cameo MCU but adopting a mistreated rescue the pet is a reminder to the owner that not all humans are good while the owner is a reminder to the pet that not all humans are bad sweet being able to FaceTime 911 operators would significantly help solve a lot of cases a $20 bill feels like an adult dollar when we start a new game we look up to highly skilled players and hope to be like them once we actually get good we start to miss the time when all of it was still new to us probably why I'm not a fan of sword shield it took us six hundred years of printing to realize that really like this conveys mocking in a written form the phrase it's all downhill from here is usually used negatively but going downhill is usually the easiest part of the trip maybe people who stubbornly defend the Flat Earth theory or space enthusiasts who secretly hope to be taking the space for free and shown the Peru the Earth's curvature damned if the Simpson stays on the air for seven more years Homer Simpson will actually be as old as he is in the show and then they'll just make them older to face it off there are people on this planet I have no idea that pizza exists both for me PM Seymour we're old president 2024 I'll make sure everybody gets a pizza in whatever nation they live in and definitely not start a lot of worse pineapples on pizza no no I wouldn't do that ever your face is a combination of thousands of years worth of other people's faces budge and bra if musicians always sound great when practicing their practicing the wrong things and finally if an object is large enough it becomes a location so congratulations listener your momma's our location this has been sick boy just rector she is by tumblr hospital and we've been recently flooded with virgins who keep saying they've been killed something about a sweater point is we're asking how to fix like 50 nosebleeds and an apparent cute overdose Xion you want to show this guy the door sure thing boss alright so what's your favorite insult my only have to be you look like someone who invest and die i corrects 30 million possible sperm and you're the one that got through huh Wiki how to be as cute as she Hanna please step 1 look in the mirror step 2 smile you've done it shave and a haircut buddy boy saw me I feel like you can make anything ominous maybe I can prove it say the most innocent thing in ominous voice be careful out there boss I'm scared yeah me too hmm where's amber Tanya mistaken Alcala a drunk [ __ ] but yet have you ever been drunk before didn't get drunk instead I breathe fire for a while as the alcohol burned in the bioreactor it was pretty damn cool he's working on a dragon suit for her right now sit why Jesus with the virgin killer you know some people are just gonna make you easy to give her you know for a username like that you think you'd stand by it Jesus Sam I hypothetical if you had to obliterate or take over the human race for whatever reason would you rather hey do a Judgment Day style or be simulacra ish style nah Pat has an evil plan for obliterating the world does the evil plan involve a galactic space cannon nope better take it P all right first you convinced the nation's two former one-world government and then you become the leader of that government and then you pass a bill then all the pizza joints must put pineapples on pizza by world law and then just watch the world kill each other over pineapple lovers and haters Plus couldn't they just like take don't ruin this for me as beep held up a slight immunity caffeine yet oh he has regular Deathwish coffee does nothing to them he had this switch to their cold brew I'm the one you young and it works alright what's your opinion on the other robots like a lexer sory commercial-grade boss AI what's your favorite holiday chrimbus so like what's your favorite anime Oh No do you NP ever shout at each other over dumb things he bought the Healy's when I told him he shouldn't I live a fast and free lifestyle you have no smooth surfaces outside kind of a bad day you have it's good jobs in february/march yeah [Music] all right so like what's the worst part of being peas and tire control like the only one preventing him from being done with these stupid-ass Healy's sometimes I cannot prevent it because he's out of my line of sight that goddammit after such heavy demand and peer pressure I'm gonna do it I'm gonna show you oh [ __ ] sand from the get rekt initiation [Music] it's time to cleanse our mind we're sorry about the photo from the last one that brought up a lot of bad memories didn't it bye tumblr when you're singing along to your radio you're a probably part of a chorus a thousands of commuters throughout the city we flash our teeth that each other as a sign of affection or happiness when nearly every other single animal uses it as a sign of aggression odds are you didn't get away with your lie someone just didn't feel like calling you on your [ __ ] near the end of a Monopoly game it is actually good to be in the prison if teleportation was invented they probably wouldn't release it to the public because every other transportation company would go out of business yeah seeing your password after accidentally typing it into the username bar kind of feels like accidentally seeing someone naked why does that sound so true there's so much porn out there that if they just stopped making them no one would notice for a long time if you put your left shoe on the wrong foot you butt out the right foot if people said it's okay to be nervous instead of don't be nervous it might actually make things a little easier dogs understand more of our language and we understand theirs due to how far video editing has come and how often fake videos get spread without people realizing video evidence may soon probably be admissible in courts when you pay with a debit card you're paying with your past when you pay with the credit card you're paying your future cucumbers tastes like getting fresh air after being inside all day that is actually the perfect way to describe a cucumber holy crap Mya I get paid again soon attitude really gets me in my bank account of trouble yeah finally when Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk his teeth also grow and this has been well I can't get that image out of my head now at least I got this from home boys okay it's like hey man you got powers I can just make my voice sound pretty like this cow all right let's do this okay you're basically the same animal one of yous Kylie Q and the other ones a lying backstabbing bastard why I help I'm the cute one okay take a potato oh god no stick it expanding to Rio on one end please no and my bladders about it come on jump in it and make it want to fling itself into the void I'm awake so short oh it's just it's just well like all right now I need a little boot man okay what was time with the group win with this time snake all right see that K no I'm knocking down the towels yeah that's really you take that and you make it a burn and then put cheese on its tongue what okay give me out you see a leaf Oh make it say to you smells terrible you should seriously stop drinking and smoking man all right I need you to take out the dinosaurs okay how do I do you got to make it look like an accident I'll hit him with what no I said an accident they all speak and how much space sorts and then I'll cancel do all right hear me out I want you create the Chinese spec well you can pose a little character little body like the nightmare to face okay now you make it like a lunar radiation to hydration cool temperatures so like are we creating a species for space now you put them everywhere there's water it'll at space by her snails and a bunch of larvae eat them as their favorite food you know it makes perfect sense alright let's do it [Music] ants tiny you got it you fish hateable you could breathe underwater nice and all sleet and drink underwater cool so like where do I go to the bathroom just like on the land or something oh god we need some light in here okay let's make giant nuclear power ball fire be their main source of heat and light alright got it so all life will depend on now it also gives them cancer if they get too close make them hate me for a while okay draw a circle with blue smoking brushing your teeth is the only time you wash your skeleton with the advent of grocery delivery services it is now possible for pizza to be both delivery and Oh relax is probably the least calming word a dustpan does its job even when you're not everyone has a moment where they realize islands do not float on the ocean weight why so we can send people to the moon take pictures of black holes 50 plus million light years away yeah we have stop lights that make you wait forever when you're the only one at the intersection that doesn't seem like a shower thought that seems like a a rant it snuck in that I didn't write although I feel it in my bones using tape or glue is like saying screw physics this is gonna go here you're being watched by yourself in the future through your memory yes pervert people say life is short but living is the single longest activity you'll ever do yeah except sleep teenagers are told to act their age but when they do something a teenager would do they're told to grow up okay boomer if you don't believe muscle-memory is real just rearrange the icons on your phone you ever realize that grape flavored stuff tastes like purple and not grapes you stop that right now stop it stop it get some help and a friend one guy definitely misspelled babe and that's how Bay was born because stubborn little a-hole and this has been I can swear yeah yeah the game is a sleeper agent activation phrase for anyone who is in middle school between 2006 and 2009 and apparently people any younger than that are blissfully unaware of the psychological warfare of the game tell me what it is tell me what it is I would die for this cat if anybody else obsessed with understanding how it's perceived you're like Oh mind your lives kind of person to my friend of mine once told man mysterious and I was like introducing a new alignment chaotic lawful I have a strict moral code but nobody can figure out what the hell it is not to be confused with lawful chaotic which is creating as much chaos as possible by following the letter of the law usually to ridiculous extremes I'm sorry Raven Lee writes but I'm about to curse your alignment forever you made Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory what we're most skilled tunes by the way about skeletons cautionary tale if you find a bunch of bones that are a untouched and be supernaturally clean there is definitely a reason for both of those things sometimes that reason is ants sometimes those ants fire ants sometimes those fire ants have made a nest over the entire three meter area around those bones sounds like someone had an adventure with fire ants I also want to know their field of study they're called the necro biologists to reclaim me does that mean you're going feral or are you just lying in the dirt for a while yeah I hate that September October November in December aren't the seventh eighth and ninth months who ever messed this up should be stabbed if I recall they did used to be those corresponding months it was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power the months July Julius and August Augustus were added thus throwing off the numbering of the calendar so good news though whoever messed it up did in fact get stabbed PSA announcements centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects go ahead and discuss oh I don't like this there are two types of pet owners baby so much number two naughty boy ugly stinky bastard man both of you to assume this is not the same person Harry listen to me don't ever be sad on a Saturday wait until Monday you [ __ ] cry on the clock you don't like capitalism win boss makes a dollar I'll make a dime that's why I cry on company time shout out to my fell sexy [ __ ] with ADHD here's way more words and they really need to literary anytime they write or type anything because their point has to come across a hundred percent like they imagined it is this post an example yeah you can tack on and Dragons after any title it'll be nine hundred percent better alright Dungeons and Dragons and Dragons dude let's choice the Dragons you literally can't go wrong with this alright said Samuel on your skull check do you still have yours yeah man I gotta leap this okay I want someone to explain who is not in the Steven universe explain what's going on in this particular picture a child as a walk to defend himself the long nose sleep goblin will not steal his soul tonight who do you have blood in minecraft discuss how you think you write on signs I don't like this take very much I also don't like the fact that URL is just minecraft is Del Toro's film history blade - hello boy Pan's Labyrinth Hellboy - the Golden Army Pacific grim crimson beat grinding Nemo wait who did this signals that baffled astronomers for seventeen years have been traced back to an observatory 'he's microwave oven oh my god i can imagine the screaming fits it is time to cleanse your mind man who is sad about how people treated his character but you know life goes on we'll have work to do it's only when you walk without sucks that you realize you need to sweep you wouldn't care if you saw someone from real life in your dream Oh too freaked out if the opposite happens phones are becoming increasingly difficult to hold between your neck and shoulder because of how thin they are getting once you pass a certain age people stop referring to you as good-looking and start telling you that you're looking good which is wearing a suit to your job used to be as something of a status symbol now being able to wear jeans and a t-shirt is if porn video started with 15 seconds of unskipable ads about consent and safe sex they probably teach more than most current sex ed classes number five it's kind of like an honorary even number I was that true but I also need explanation on that being a billionaire probably feels like playing life on creative mode do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly at 7 p.m. and you've achieved literally nothing big move guys never put away their summer clothes you just layer them with jackets in the winter I can't even dispute that right now son of a [ __ ] watching professional sports is actually watching a bunch of millionaires genetic outliers and drug users play a kid's game it's like you characters and movies and TV never have to wait in line in a coffee shop unless it's important to the plots information and this has been still sad getting kool-aid out for a while you can't just cut pieces of toast up put him in a bowl pour butter on it and call it a meal but he could and he did and soon after he would violate the Geneva Conventions We Need to Talk flaming hot cheetos on everything is not a personality trait real and your rewards will be great produce my brother no I said something dark and evil from that's final of a crippling Japanese porn addiction high five man oh yeah Turkey huh I got you your absolute fool you imbecile hey that's sandpaper man what are you doing I'm trying to beat the world record for the most sandpaper region I'm close I'm coming in a second see I tried to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble though I try to hide it it's clear I hate a bunch of sandpaper on the way here hey let me wake up I [ __ ] myself you're gonna change me or what bro I don't feel like I'm good at anything everything I try sucks I practice I practice and tried it for thanks but it doesn't work out he'll feel my place there isn't a time limit on success dude just keep doing [ __ ] until something clicks it's frustrating but it's not a race keep going figured an unwholesome ooh but I can't because people on captain rich so [ __ ] the poor [Music] at one time even fused with his dad in the movie Steven was himself his mom his dad I'm in pink diamond all at once by tumblr the Roman numeral five is also visually the half of Roman numeral tend [Music] paying tickets aren't penalties their receipts for premium parking capitalism Anna's Lannister the age when you are the most useless 0-4 is also the age when you get the most compliments okay parents don't teach their kids playground games like tagger men hunt we all learned them from other friends I'm sorry what was the second one right your body killing itself because of a nut allergy is kind of like burning a house down because of a spider JK rowling changing aspects of Harry Potter 22 years after it was written it's kind of like the equivalent of coming up with a good comeback a few hours after the arguments already finished if future historians don't know how to decode multiple layers of sarcasm the Internet's really going to throw them off you did it Lance we made history by [ __ ] it up hitting a pothole is the car version of stubbing your toe when you window shop on Amazon you're actually just picking your ads for the foreseeable future a fake preacher's money laundered earnings could be considered a false prophets false prophets those choose your own flavor Coke machines are probably just there to gather marketing data they see what the most popular flavors are so they can release bottled and canned versions I mean and that makes sense with orange vanilla coke I did that one all the time like seriously I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it's for kind of sad that normal people and youtubers have to plant trees and save our planet while our world leaders don't do anything well that's not count on all the world leaders some of the big guys on that note though if mr. beast plane to 20 million trees morgues and other clones would also plant trees and make the amounts of trees plan to double just say it mister east get on that this has been me not asking mr. beast to plant 20 million trees cuz that that'd be crazy right right by tumblr behold a beautiful Native American Fire Opal Blake dude kill me with this as my vision fades I whisper my name backward spells disappointment and skin problems well nice they made you spell barb Nix dinna Timna opposite all right listen you take me laser tagging and then push me into the corner and kiss me then shoot me and walk away my god imagine the OTP oh my god this is a good prompt God my imagination running way up at the moment what does it mean when kisses you and they kick you and then shoot you can you do that prompt instead if you want to know how long this year has been the whole [ __ ] type odd [ __ ] he happened in January I'll remember do it January but it was the January I'll God kill me yeah oh did they ever track down the baby born a - con the what you know the descon baby the baby born in the ball paid a desk on what the wats the - con baby okay fine history lesson alright here we go at - con la term pregnant lady there for a writing panel I believe arrived and while going around the event her water broke around two months earlier than expected and began to go into labor there was a huge traffic jam because of you know and driving to the hospital was out of the question so they called an ambulance but the thing is because of the traffic jam it took over 40 minutes and she was going into labor now a nursing training there took over and had to deal with the woman so they took the ball pit being the best thing they could think of in the mostly empty area cleared some little balls away and had to use that as a surface to deliver the baby around five minutes before they got there they managed to deliver the baby thankfully in a safe state right that can't oh god that can't possibly be true can it can it board there's a combat class which is true because I've never met anyone in marching band that didn't want to throw down or let me tell you oh you cheeky scripts something playing tuba and marching band means you can power walk two miles backwards on your toes in 16 minutes without bending your knee while carrying a 35-pound blunt metal object with your arms held at right angles and blasting every gulp of oxygen you can spare without exceeding to make sounds loud enough to deafen the dead in an act of pure unchristian violence you're barred is a party member who will teach you how to kill God by example Jesus Christ y'all I just figured out how to make origami swans time to bombard my friends with thousands of little swans to make them happy and laugh this is the extent - my chaotic neutral energy I'm gonna fill their lockers with swans my art may never be as good as I want it to be but I have hands and a pencil and I will make that everyone else's problem that being said here's some Seon up your face what now what do you do what do you get when you mix alcohol and literature mmm tequila Mockingbird f scott Fitzgerald Ernest Hemingway they're called leggings because you put either you pull your leg the co legging is because no it's okay take your time let's just be clear if you spend the time baking a cake cookie or brownie you can eat as many of them as you want and the calories don't count you made those calories you're there God disclaimer this does not apply to the children you made looking you Chronos oh look a levitate I believe it's called Wingardium Leviosa okay so real talk my grandfather got suspended from Catholic school for referring to Jesus Christ and the Twelve Apostles as JC and the boys like this boy bed now Judas is like the [ __ ] of the group whitey stores always say gifts for her who is she why are millions Americans being encouraged to buy gifts for this entity so explain we must appease her she is all that keeps the darkness at bay without her the old ones will rise again we must not disappoint her she is watching and she knows and she goes okay Real Talk the only character tropes that matter the mad scientist the goth and the chaotic dumbass so you mean Eggman Shadow and Sonic in that order you you get it so today I learned that Gothic literature makes a distinction between terror and horror terror is the sense of dread and apprehension that precedes an experience horror is the sense of revulsion after an experience and someone described the modern difference as such fear is knowing that a werewolf is hunting you terror is when you see it in a chart is that you and hora is realizing that your feet are stuck to the floor and smut realizes that you're into all of that okay here's the weather for today is 34-6 earned Slav our cast I guessed oh the weather outside is productive anything worthwhile only soup what do you mean there's only soup I mean the only drop soup we'll get out of the increased soup drop right universe the other God also dropped soup what do you mean the other God also dropped soup it means I kill them but he only drops soup go into the next universe we really doing this again [Music] items the gods keep dropping so where are you sigh has had ever done something that like genuinely disappointed you not in the disappointed caretaker sense just generally serious disappointment you never see a man bite down on chocolate-covered espresso beans then take a shot of cold brew going thug life live fast die hard see oh no where's your neural net like what faster your processors you ever blown Pat's mind by something you said not sure how to explain the first two but the last one I did gave them a bro moment humans are evolved from Cynthia eggs due to having started out of eggs CY can you just make a sock puppet version of Santa I for some reason I really want to see that wait Sienna you were glasses I thought robot eyes are perfect these have an extra high I can use them setting new things about the earth also they're cute you can't fight crime if you don't look cute I have no regret in what I'm about to say Queen you got those Thunder ties 6e it Jake heck is a thunder thighs oh hell yeah so which one he used the thrill-seeker flip-flops I want to do fun stuff like go to theme parks or go cliff climbing he wants to grind rails with us Healy's oh so you escaped from the city now but why do you still Pam stuff also Pam you need to keep trackers stuff better as the waifu I get all this stuff to luxuriously steal it's in my contract damn people work please help calm my anger so I don't accidentally kill someone tomorrow Kevin you're on deck you both seem so positive even in the world could be ending at any moment coming in the future I must ask how do you do it urge to do the 30 rock joke increasing I'm noticing your pupils appear to be hearts is that always the case or can you like switch between the circles and hearts can you do like other shapes mmm I can do hearts stars and circles clovers and blue moons what now we're glass and rainbows what what just happen why were short elf practice it's not chrimbus yeah you back off sharing actually that's a good question what do you want for chrimbus miss space else in the chrimbus man even elf know now that I've committed a few war crimes alright just me or are Sienna sighs getting thicker with every image because of yes then I thoroughly approve Aria listen up will Tim Tim angles colors lighting clothes posture squish factor change the size of all the same comments about the chest as well all of hers the same size as the synthetic overall people have good angles when it comes to selfies the same rules apply to drawings if you're going by proportion and not exaggeration top down inside perspectives make rounder objects look larger straight on everything looks small everything looks smaller in conclusion the baby blue thighs have always been the same the way I color or shade sometimes makes them look larger yeah thank you for coming my TED talk follow my soundcloud and buy my stuff bye he's stuff redounds himself in expresso say hey guess what guys I'm making another movie apparently you're supposed to present as feminine or masculine well I am presenting is fascinating why did we stop drawing ridiculous looking sea monsters on our maps after we chartered the world's oceans what did you do to my boys um the hell is your screen name when you made a new group of people and everyone starts sharing their pronouns call that a pronoun older oh [ __ ] guys the producer of the scooby-doo movies named dick suckles yo guess what year he was born in pal january 1969 I don't know what energy it is but the whole movie just radiates something forbidden who else is in the mood to walk barefoot over the Moors and a blood red velvet ball gown with anguish in your soul and wet leaves in your hair while the wind blows moodily and dramatically can we all get mcdonalds afterwards we all deserve it so yes absolutely my treat year 3000 naruto is dead za ruto the son of perrito who's the son of kuru toe who was the son of guru toh who was the son of boruto who was the son of naruto now has an enemy serve toe is gonna be better than part of toe Kishimoto occurs at age 1026 Jesus [ __ ] Christ I honestly can't deal with secondhand embarrassment at TV shows and movies very well I like literally pausing internally scream and come back in like ten years let me just say I've owned a RIF for two years thinking it's supposed to look that blurry but I guess you gotta wear glasses even in virtual reality today I shove my glasses into the headset and it's like seeing VR for the first time frowny face I thought VR was just bad Oh Pookie you poor innocent soul fun Christmas idea hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you you have to fight whoever else is underneath it call it missile foe some on saws are getting dirt mr. Bruck not to sound like a [ __ ] wuss or anything but like kitchen appliances dope no listen dude I know you think that's girls ship think about it you can use tongs to easily pick up chicken you can flip them on the other side and get an evenly cooked fillet wait listen bro bro bro you can get a spice drawer so you could organize an experiment with different kinds of spices you can get a nonstick pan so you don't even have to worry about that [ __ ] stick him bro bro [ __ ] you come on man blue bird up teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture no we do not lick water fountains perhaps that's acceptable on your planet but here on earth we prefer to drink from water fountains physics might be a little different on your planet but here when you throw things they typically fall and break grabbing people and shaking them violently is not considered a public greeting on this planet this this is real yo shout out to the trans girl that called her estrogen pills titty skittles I appreciated that greatly and it was the funniest thing I've heard all year when the back of my neck gets tickled Jesus what the [ __ ] happened to that plane it got sickle down the back of its neck like you just said another day down till the next fun surprise that sounds like a threat not everything I say is a threat what this is when a bard uses vicious mockery what they say comes out sounding incomprehensibly bass boosted and that's how it causes physical damage oh listen up you [ __ ] it is time to cleanse your mind with straw wars have progressed from attacking in formation to attacking information sleepwalking is the body's charging your phone while you use it's opening the task manager is like snitching to the teacher magically everyone starts working again instead of messing around Cowboys riding off into the sunset picked a really bad time to start a journey people with depression can be some of the most chill and nicest human beings you'll ever meets hangouts if you raise and care for chickens you are a chicken tender never give up on something you really wants it's difficult to wait but worse to regret flaming swords are often depicted as being a better weapon than a normal sword but he would actually just cauterize the wound making it less lethal pacifists you can make the same exact dish mom makes for dinner and follow the same instructions and for some damn reason mom's food is better the voice in your head is the real you every other version of you displayed is a facade the real you made up to do with others and a fan if in the movie cars the characters are to be seen as real characters the crash scenes are pretty [ __ ] brutal for kids to see and this has been my tumblr what up - lets um they're called vampires I named the dragon master 69 Sarah this is your new born child I said what I said wait hold up was that a was it a supernatural reference no secret forbidden bloodline technique idiot you dad get that for you no my mom is a loser their mom still picks out the fishing moves for them yeah you're early I'm a pirate swab the deck so you can pay for your student tuition there's absolutely no way your Genki a spire page I can help me pay my student to wish yo $22 an hour plus a tuition assistance program oh [ __ ] sad me up Bobby a pirate y'all ever just had the overwhelming urge to swim not like actively but you just want to be in the water and have some peace that's how it gets you that's so [ __ ] ominous am I gonna die head empty just bees buzzin how about a hive mind how dare you be funnier than me Donald Trump's cake was 90% styrofoam I guess you could say the cake was a lie am i right gamers hey hey hey gamers right no one answer him let him suffer the snack pack claps the [ __ ] back Go Fish finally a weapon to surpass middle gear yo is this a new weapon in Ruby you know if it wasn't for that caption I would have said why do people think fight is so scary it's literally like clouds came down to hug the earth that's cute have you ever played Silent Hill mater the only way to destroy his knee is tricking them into buying tumblr but then how will people be able to watch the mandalorian with baby Yoda aka 20 19's last meme trend I'm sorry that saltiness Camilla today I learned that in 2013 a scientist injected human brain cells into a mouse brain which improved the mouse's memory and capacity to learn to stop it from conquering the planet they injected human brain cells from an incompetent weirdo into a sipper Mouse and then put the two mice in the same cage so the silly Mouse will always frustrate the terrifying genius Mouse's plans I wonder what they're doing tonight the same thing they do every night this Justin eating fruit is okay oh what's your source this dude nobody panic that banana is holding her hostage the beetles not a single song in a Bionicle commercial the all-american rejects has a song in a Bionicle commercial pretty clear to me who comes out on top the Beatles definitely the Beatles wrong I explain the Beatles not a single song in a Bionicle commercial the all-american rejects has a song in a biota commercial any questions the comma is snapped because I'm covered in maple syrup and they can never catch me it is a face mom show me a permanent state of the self mom and permeance does not mean insignificant mom the kid will help your life is being in a constant state of change and acceptance mom do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you a novel not only your parents but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all the expressions on your face and then there's this [ __ ] the Pacific Ocean is water than the moon anyway how's your day going cookie guys this anime Mona Lisa is in my library help me oh it's the Mona Lisa by the great artist Leonardo dojinshi [ __ ] you broke your bad guy damn are we doing another a see in a video today actually saying this is uh this one's for you wait what okay okay anger issues inane unsure balisong knife a good mix I'm honestly asking for myself it's definitely not a good mix if you want to go to jail in such a young age I must inquire what is the maximum velocity of which Scion is able to travel on foot well take the distance between Pat and heiresses house is 10 kilometers and you want me there in less than a minute on foot so my maximal velocity will be sixteen point six seven meters a second as a normal human has one point four meters a second and two point five is their maximum velocity those didn't get that the boys fast oh hey it's Rob Oh Travis who's Travis Barris so how did you pass there I'm a human verification on tumblr all I did is click I'm not a robot and follow simple instructions Aristotle Mao to do that yes you put up the photo evidence oh my god serve Paris field by coffee Nick you robot I can only imagine what Eris is fueled by she gets fueled by rage in the satisfactory of the deaths and misery of our enemies our door Hey I'm tired but stubborn on you good coffee recommendations five shots of espresso or as Pat will probably call it the morning cup Union Sun ska ska [Music] Sam what is your most powerful body part could have ordered that better so your arms wrists your likes oh your brain does knowledge is Pat powerful body part oh my smile seems that every time I do it has this effect of making people happy and or fluster I'm really pissed at the people in the locker room at my school the things they say are just really gross and LGBTQ phobic I feel like I'm gonna snap one of these days here's the thing we can't change the minds of people if they're too close-minded just know that you're one of the most understanding and open minded people who understands the struggles the LGBT community has just ignore them and carry on your day can we have an epic anime style robot fight between saya and Siena that's playing rock paper scissors with epic music in the background count [Applause] it is that continued [Applause] to cleanse your mind with this stick maybe getting really old but I don't care I'm doing it anyway by tumblr and read a circle is a shape a letter and number collectively millions of hours have been wasted because the USB connector is not asymmetrical I think they meant to say not symmetrical I don't know maybe I'm gonna be in the shower longer just thinking about the fact that it's not properly phrased reality TV is a form of wildlife documentary donkey from Shrek is probably one of the boys from Pinocchio that escaped from the coach and then he pointed dragon yes since end could be silent or the see incentive repeat you you'll never be done with laundry unless you do it thanks to baby shark there'll be a generation that poorly understand sharks don't have a family structure you know show is unpopular if you can't even get to pirate it on the line for many 80s and 90s kids Jessica Rabbit was probably a gateway drug to full-blown head to head section the phrase as is probably the only similar form of measurement in all countries but yet it's still completely subjective if Santa really did come to the mall to take photos with kids you wouldn't charge them for it the fact that the earth and everything is always spinning makes teleportation very hard and let's not even get started on time travel and finally you cannot hang Mike Wazowski that just sounds like the words of quarter you get back in there try again mrs. Bush our thoughts by Toma curtain read it there I said it happy you thought this was a poll but it was me do you ever make tea a microwave just to spite God Oh of all the posts to lose me followers you guys are no problem with the cloud breeding posts well this is where you draw the line huh okay okay it's important to master blood magic in necromancy so you can make use of the whole body environmentally sustainable black magic remember necromancy is really just advanced recycling reduce reuse Rudy animates Tony Stark didn't died so who is canonically established as spider-man's father figure oh my god it's the Peter Parker curse I've got you now spider-man this is where you meet your end you're like a father to me ah spider-man put in the e in dad for half a century the Oscars Lion King rides a Skywalker and GATS among 20 films to advance in jeez spoilers raise a friggin Animorph what the [ __ ] oh you think your life is hard try being a gay rat living in France who hates your dad and just wants to cook why did this post make me realize they're like no female rats in this movie actually there is she has one line at the end when she says how do you know okay so I just skim through the whole movie again and here she is in the beginning she doesn't say anything and you wouldn't guessed she was a girl because they don't do like that weird humanizing tits and longer eyelashes thing that most movies with animals do so I'm pretty sure that the female coated rats are the smaller rats which is apparently accurate to real rats Remi is also really small after going through the movies I also realized that there are only five rats that have actual lines Remy Emile the dad the really big bodyguard rat and the rat at the end whack wait hold up the girl rats are smaller Remy is smaller rania strands okay so let me get this straight Remy is trans and his father accepts that but not his passion for cooking dad I think I'm a boy No son I'm also tired of eating literal rotted garbage you what's so I was looking up animal stereotypes and or none are you gonna tell me the Geico gecko can honestly be unfortunate he's based off a green day gecko or a giant day gecko and unlike others who usually drop their tail when grabbed or such these guys literally rip their entire skins off and run away in their naked little meat suits I've taken care of some it's horrifying so that's why it sells insurance right well tired they said it'll help your productivity said her feet steps okay who do you think would win in a fight to the death between I hops and Denny's oh I'd say Denny's I office work kids sometimes have birthday parties Denny's is where I go to meet a hitman I'm I'm on board with that logic also Danny's doesn't [ __ ] around they're usually the guys who pick up all the animecon goers especially in Anime Expo because there's one like 15 minutes away from the Convention Center and it's always jam-packed and the waiters don't care Denny's would honestly win in a fight if they had to despite my often rabid behavior I mostly like following Q positivity blogs and aesthetics oh you really are a nice person under the feeling of absolute terror I experienced every time I read your posts select your gender ah there they are the two genders only assist deals and absolutes my god all of life and history aligned for that one joke we're done everyone go home now I'm just kidding out more Kingdom Hearts trio be like bye girl with all the brain cells himbo and Sora wait is Donald the bye girl I hate this because it shows you automatically accepted goofy as the hambo and no little human okay kiss una fun fact the cat is checking the baby's mouth to see still breathing if it were not breathing the cat would commence to eat it hey Jesus it's terrifying all right kids playtime's over no Sharon it has only just begun Wow what's he doing whatever he wants because remember when you are tiny and cute you can control everything sometimes I'm confused by Canadian stereotypes but then I realized that we literally dumped maple syrup on to the snow wait for it to get gooey and then scoop it up with a stick and eat it you better not be [ __ ] around with me Canada is this for real oh it is all too real why does that look delicious I just realized that as we go into the roaring 20s this is the first time Fall Out Boy panic and My Chemical Romance have been all active at the same time since 2009 the Roaring Twenties okay first of all how dare you hey remember 2016 come on man stop what's wrong no no man I just need to make some hard decision and I feel like people won't like them well listen man it doesn't matter what you do people will not like you or be mad that's just how it is you need to do what you think is right and what makes you happy thank God now I could change my name legally to Kyoto and make all my friends what's order on mud with me no way noob when he went to chef Rudy Jed and peri-urban a cancer watchdog well first amp imagine using yo day to Bush controller for the mid two thousands to pull off a wet koteki sticky Mickey air people this isn't plugged in anything they've been able to put a new game in ten years okay here's the [ __ ] deal with absurdism absurdism is a philosophy that breaks down the meaning of life - there isn't one who cares much of absurdism is realizing how insane and pointless the universe is and making your own meeting and purpose instead life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own søren kierkegaard one of the first existential philosophers yeah no man there's two things I hate Christmas time the retweet button from Twitter why though sinners not real your parents are dead Woodhead being I don't understand oh yeah man we do like a lot at board now dude we also teach people how to use [ __ ] around the house and Kirk but it's it's mostly Gore ladies and gentlemen I give you my latest creation a baby that is made out of babies Wow Dark Souls four looked great I love that serious black escapes Azkaban and his first two instincts are seek vengeance and buy expensive gifts for school children if these aren't your two primary goals following a dramatic escape from supermax prison what are you even doing with your life dramatic escape literally just walked out on me he swam across the [ __ ] ocean as a dog and I think that qualifies as a dramatic escape that [ __ ] literally doggie paddled away all right cool scenario what if disgusting a little gremlin lived in your house and said I kiss on the cheek and I leave you free away from your house I shall believe would you do it it depends on what cheek you catch on to quick I'm not usually one to repost Twitter jokes tumblr does it all the time however title goose game in which the goose has made a life peer and terrorizes the House of Lords it is a lovely day in Parliament Square and you are a horrible goose at play crap another game absolute precision you gotta trust no one not even know last year it was a real Pip Boy this year you'll be going into the wasteland with VR and by next year Bethesda just nukes the [ __ ] out of everything fallout is now real Vegas I say while being shot to death by a meth head I can't believe it took me so long to realize that these line of Pokemon are based on Apple maggots aka how's your credit card number been stolen on the Internet and your card number and the expiration date and find out Wow I love the internet it's such a helpful place just to remember no one hates the Homestuck fandom more than the Homestuck fandom hates the Homestuck fandom we should just hate marry ourselves a kid angry that he'll war was no word but then I remember that squeegee is a word and has been for a century so humans have always been awful whoa mister squeegee I'm going to find you and I swear by the moon and stars I will make you bleed popular opinion Fall Out Boy's just imagine dragons trying to be panic at the disco I literally don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first hmm out of some powerful NPC energy anime is getting more and more realistic that's an iPhone notice how their batteries at 100% you wrote one email one and the battery is now in 91% my god anime Israel I will make your bone share the same x-axis okay I get a lot of whimsical threats but this one just slaps ass I thought God didn't have any bones I have like a whole credenza fault are they your bones legally speaking probably why is the official art for Giganta max Snorlax so [ __ ] profound and funny obscure we're poised Wheatfield kids - loser Oh snorlock cast [ __ ] you hello it is me am Seymour ha ha ha ha ha I will exist forever and be asked about every day even after being a one time joke I will get people to ask about all AM versions of Seymour's characters until the end of time all right he's dead we're never doing this joke again ever he's canonically dead it's time to cleanse your mind with the sound of kappa breaking into my house stealing my dog kicking my family draining all the joints happiness from my friday tumbler it 20:19 feels like season 9 of 2010 things little kids hate naps and getting spanked things adults like and getting spanked car companies brag about winning awards that no one cares about or really cares for you sure they make up like half of them you can't joke the win the Olympics but you can use autotune to win a Grammy lets it takes about four hours to cook artichokes and even then the only edible part must be scraped off with your teeth someone a long time ago was really [ __ ] determined to eat an artichoke for some reason it's good for c-3po knew all the languages he knows someone had to learn to translate thousands of them just so a protocol droid could take over his job you don't realize how much you changed until you randomly meet someone you knew years ago you probably dodged death several times you are the NPC and everyone else reality if a male mermaid is a merman then a female German must be a germ aid due to texting in social media people today probably read more than any other time in history you know it's the sometimes we're stressed while relaxing because we aren't working on what makes us stressed yeah we continue trying to relax because we're stressed there can only be one most depressed person on earth however this person probably changes daily and finally if you can't get anyone to go see a movie with you go see you by yourself buy yourself some concessions it's important to learn to enjoy yourself without the company of other people and this has been I ended it on a wholesome note even know kappa still made me sad and took away my happiness today i'm Flocka cass we're learning some stuff buckle up okay most do you have [ __ ] pots and pans like this make sure the handle on your pots and pans are secure if there is any wobble tighten them you can do this with a flat head for most pots and pans yay ok here's the [ __ ] deal with recog in your bathtub remove old caulking put painters tape on either side of edge cut small opening on caulking glue and slowly slide down filling edge with new caulking do not go too fast and do not stop once you start so it's even now slide your finger down the road you just made and do not press too hard remove painters tape while it's still wet yay okay here's some [ __ ] quick donuts get a tube of biscuits and who cares what flavor they are life is bleeding cut hole in each one you can use like a Gatorade calf or something out of [ __ ] care put in pot of hot oil fry until this shade of brown on both sides make a topping you can mix powdered sugar here and like it 2 spoon of milk add vanilla or chocolate if you want who cares yay ok here's how to [ __ ] take out the stopper drain of most bathroom sinks go under the sink make sure to unscrew the plug here while you can to clean it pinch this and pull back to release rod this releases the stopper pull the stopper out and clean the plug or whatever the [ __ ] you want to do yeah ok here is the [ __ ] deal with hanging heavy stuff with drywall anchors do not [ __ ] hang heavy stuff on your wall with just nails there are lots of different types of anchors and it's cheap first you need a screw thread anchor a toggle bolt a screwdriver or an electric drill not really required I guess make a hole in your wall with a nail or small screw as a lead or a threaded anchor if toggle bolt made a hole big enough for the bolt that just fit through it threaded anchor just screwed in with a screwdriver drill put screw in and hang [ __ ] up out here yeah and finally ok here's the [ __ ] deal with waffles this makes two by a [ __ ] waffle iron just fine what a goodwill or something for like five bucks seriously fix all this [ __ ] together 1 egg 2 tbsp oil 1/2 cup sugar 1 cup milk and 1 cup flour pour half into waffle iron I don't know it takes like three minutes to cook take it out when it's brown [ __ ] make them in bulk so you don't have to do this [ __ ] again and yeah yeah Florrick please make more I really like these at first I was a little bothered by how unevenly split the diamond chips start with pink having the entire lower half white having a torso and head while blue and yellow just have arms but thinking on it I think it's actually a clever way of showing different types of thinking blue has a left arm representing right brain thinking yellow has a right arm for left brain thinking white thinks with her head and pink thinks with her hey meal or 22 sexiest perk always running it when I'm not running I'm thinking of running hate Smurfs you like books and love pestel's meal or now not ahem oh I swear screw your knives strap a claymore to a Roomba unleashed sir stabby here's a friendly reminder that nothing in your life could ever be as stiff it goes mr. ratburn's third-grade class the hell's all that [ __ ] on the board this is a PSA coca-cola is a health potion and Pepsi is a mana potion yo what's grape soda it's [ __ ] purple baby I know this doesn't make any sense but I just had a chocolate bar with orange and caramel which is weird because it tasted like Pokemon the movie 2000 oh my god Puckett so figured it out that's so good Wow kill Bradley goes worse where's smiley face what what what me the Tasmanian devils a voracious predator and should not be engaged with also me uh he who pepper you know I've repeatedly seen British people make fun of American food for apparently always being either too sweet or too salty but our cuisine is pretty mild compared to a lot of other countries and having repeatedly tried British food I'm pretty sure the term you're looking for is having any flavor at all dude britain invaded over half the world for spices and then decided they didn't like any of them you have joking but that is legitimately what happened a new study published by scientists at the University of Bristol proves that spiders can sense the Earth's electric field and use it to fly through the air nature what the [ __ ] oh my guy is that why this little good boy exists the phrase grievous injury is named after General Grievous because of injuries led to him becoming a cyborg and General Grievous is named after the extent of his injuries my god how bad were his injuries bud dang I hope he's okay attention everyone Santa's on strike due to global warming all presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas tiger milk and cookies may not be sufficient what are Goods even doing with those weird-ass rectangle as a [ __ ] for baking through your mail box staring at your knees going through your garbage bins and living in your trees ah that's precious okay I know this is a joke but buckle up here we go Oh sir sister small logic-defying blue alien from outer [ __ ] space he's a heterosexual romance okay but we got it oh she's female you understand she needs long antennae I like long hair mascara smooth chest that sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got titties even though she's a Thai [ __ ] alien should we make her pink sir Ricky you got dead genius here my keys go to my house and [ __ ] my wife Selene assess 2015 I cannot comprehend how much I hate this shoe this has left a disgusting taste in my mouth it's like someone is eating a whole banana skid included and not digested properly and then pooped it out and then just put their foot right into it and whacked a black finger on it and call it a shoe I'm honestly shocked this shoe must be worth like $400,000 reduce for a banana poo I hate this you hate him kill him now dude why are you so heated over a shoe my dude is something wrong they'd like these shoes kill your family the only thing I find upsetting about it is how uncomfortable it looks it looks like a knight slipper with a high heel on it so like it looks like he would bend and I don't like that today I learned the shortest correspondence in history was between Victor Hugo and his publisher in 1862 inquiring about the sales of limas Robb's hugo telegraphed his publisher the single-character message question mark having sold out the first print in 24 hours the reply was exclamation points I got a point out that the shortest correspondence in history does not sound like Victor Hugo at all fruit flavored snack okay but considered this snack flavored fruits you bite into a pineapple and taste like a Triscuit yo did you just figure out the crows marketing strategy all right everyone I feel like you'll appreciate this photo I took several years ago when I was in school of a raven getting spooked by something in the bushes quote the Raven it is [Applause] [Music] and with the sound of a man who could really use a vacation but he can't because bills gotta get paid so the tumblr man must have tumblr players by tumblr and reddit brisas just makes the same product in different shapes and we're all ok with it if you tell someone that you haven't used the toilet a year they will assume that you are [ __ ] it's hard to think about that thought when that's melts so horribly with great reflexes comes great responsibility we never thanked construction workers for this service despite the fact that they dedicate large portions of their lives to making and maintaining buildings that are absolutely vital in our daily lives just give them a wave every time you pass by the least you can do maybe ghost children are the ones teaching older ghosts how to mess with people's electronics that's dark but also really funny if you don't have a weird cousin you probably are the weird cousin and if you don't have any cousins well you're the weird cousin by default it must really suck to be a Jedi whose favorite color is red bartenders invent new techniques just to make their job harder it's true but the craft ice ball is pretty cool in six months time 2060 will be closer to us the 1980 I don't like any of that we really take showers for granted not everyone can clean themselves on a daily basis Steven the number shows I'm up too tired the number of nipples in your house greases you can't cat or duck every day there is a point in time at which it's exactly PI p.m. bra closing your eyes after turning off the alarm is one of the most dangerous sports in the motor true Hank his Star Wars lightsaber tools nobody takes advantage of being able to turn their lightsaber off and on it would make locking attacks impossible as you could turn your lightsaber off just before making contact with the opponent's passing the block and then back on again in one fluid motion well the thing about that is that's good illogical writing and movies would be a lot shorter if you did that and finally laughing at an overweight person in the gym is the same as laughing at someone with cancer at hospitals think about that this has been i'ma go book a vacation by tumblr

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,726,837

Rating: 4.7242403 out of 5

Keywords: Tumblr, compilation, late night Tumblr

Id: TY1LfPBFxjE

Length: 181min 43sec (10903 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 18 2019