Twitch Chat and I invaded Europe with Artificial Intelligence

today twitch chat and I are going to take over Europe using artificial intelligence now the rules of this are simple we're each going to start with one country on the European map I chose Germany twitch chat chose Vatican City on your turn you can try to invade any neighboring country or you can form an alliance or research new technology or anything else you can imagine and then we use this artificial intelligence program novel AI to generate and determine what the actual outcome of those actions were if the AI determines that you did take over a country or gain a new resource then you earn one point and the first Empire to get 10 total points wins the game My Country Germany has the starting resource of beer while Vatican City's starting resource is the Pope the question is who will end up dominating the continent of Europe will it be the great nation of dougtopia or the Empire of chadastan let's begin this has the chance to be really entertaining but most likely it's going to be really really stupid I will let you guys take the first turn your only option is Italy so let me know what you want to do you guys suggest ideas invade Italy offer peace treaty to Italy Mary your daughter to Italy to form a union kill the pope what would that do wait no I don't think you want to kill the pope do you want to try to marry the pope off to Italy I guess marry the pope off to Italy all right looks like you guys want to marry the pope off hold on is the idea that this is like to form an alliance or do you just literally want to get rid of the Pope both the year is one thousand the great Empire of Dogtopia has been formed in Germany the leader douglas douglas is hell-bent on invading and taking over the continent of Europe he has ten thousand armed Swordsmen and the best most delicious German beer in the world but over in Vatican City a new Empire of chadastan is formed this small but chaotic country plans on taking over the entirety of Europe starting with Italy shadistan is equipped with the finest ten thousand Swordsmen and the pope as this new era of violence and expansion begins shattistan offers the pope to Italy's King in marriage in the hopes of securing a peace treaty with the country meanwhile Pope Francis leader of the church is not interested in marriage at all he does not like the idea of being taken away from his beloved people but he must accept the offer under the threat that if he refuses the chat of standing army will invade Rome and kill everyone there I guess we continue until we learn whether it worked so chadastan sends the pope to Italy to marry the king however in an attempt to get out of marrying the king Pope Francis decides to run away into the forest instead aha you're so cute little poop are you the pope all right no he ran away that doesn't count you did not get a peace treaty yes no progress for you guys so twitch chat's marriage plan did not work out at all another Pope is lost somewhere in the forest as you can see with this AI generated image next up is my turn chat I hope you're happy I will resource just ran into the bloody Woods all you guys did was lose the Pope I will do what I've always dreamed of doing invading Switzerland the Empire of dougtopia sends their army of 10 000 Swordsmen into the mountains of Switzerland attempts to take over the government after much Bloodshed and battle they're finally forced back to Germany by a combined force of Swiss troops God damn it well that was a very fast loss to Switzerland and the way the rules work for this game is that if you lose a fight your army is disabled for two full turns which means I need to use peaceful tactics in the meantime now back over to Twitch chat's turn nobody's made any progress what do you want to do currently you're in Vatican City recapture the Pope excommunicate the king of Italy make a new pope kill the pope and blame Italy again you're trying to either get a peace treaty with Italy or invade them successfully you know if you do this so if you kill the pope and blame Italy maybe you'll have a better chance of taking over another country or doing a peace treaty because they'll think that Italy sucks because they kill the pope you know what I mean like maybe killing the pope and blaming Italy this is a PR move to make it easier to make peace treaties in the future your next play the empire recaptures the pope and assassinates him in the forest they then blame the Pope's death on Italy let's see what happens the church loses faith in the Empire due to their actions but they do find one interesting thing about it the Chad of standing army is made up of a bunch of women so what are these women I guess let's keep going and learn are they good for anything besides War and why did they capture the Pope in the first place these are questions for the future so you guys get a special resource card I think you have some sort of incredibly powerful all-female Army okay remember every special resource you have is also a point you did Kill the pope but you replaced it with a special all-women Army yeah the girl boss Army so you guys are still stuck in Vatican City but you do have a badass Army and maybe other people are upset at Italy now Switzerland didn't work Switzerland's always been impossible to invade right oh but I do want Luxembourg so in the last battle my Army was beaten that means I have two turns where I can't use my Army I'll try to do a peace treaty with Luxembourg back in dougtopia the government attempts to sign an Alliance treaty with Luxembourg they explain how with Germany's vast population and delicious beer Luxembourg would be an asset to the dougtopian Empire Luxembourg refuses to join unless the emperor personally comes to visit them and endorses it the emperor agrees under the condition that no one ever mentions this name again when the emperor arrives at their doorsteps he finds the entire nation armed and Ready for War let's go I got Luxembourg I think I'm never allowed to mention my Emperor again which I apparently had let's go [ __ ] I got big lb what do you mean no I didn't hold on are they fighting me when the emperor Rises their doorsteps he finds the entire nation armed and ready for war is Luxembourg attacking me or is this like is this like a North Korea situation where when the dictator shows up all the armies there is like a Showcase of their military might I'm going to continue this and see are they double crossing me or are they joining my Army in the last ditch effort to avoid war the emperor tries to negotiate peace through diploma see oh [ __ ] they do want to fight me so the emperor is at the doorstep they have the Army they're trying to go to war with me and the emperor says please let us join your glorious Empire we will work hard to ensure that Dogtopia is the greatest country in the world that doesn't make sense but the people of Luxembourg refused to listen as they continue to prepare for war their government explains how the only way to stop their country from falling apart is to kill everyone who disagrees with them the emperor manages to escape and return to his Capital City God damn it dude Luxembourg is impossible to work with [ __ ] I can't invade Switzerland or Luxembourg meanwhile you guys just killed the pope and have done nothing else as a reminder your pope is dead but you have a super big girl boss Army invade Italy with the girl boss Army create a new pope you don't need a pope have the Army seduce the Italian Army you guys are torn between invading Italy with the girl boss Army and having the Army seduce them here's what I'll do I'll combine those two things so you'll invade them but as part of the invasion part of the girl boss armies like a war tactic is that they attempt to seduce the Italian Navy Afghanistan decides to send their army of powerful girl boss Warriors to invade Italy not only are these mysterious women incredible at the Art of War they also have a secret technique they can seduce the Italian soldiers to sway the fight in their favor suddenly The Invasion begins it turns out that the enemy has captured the pope and he's now locked up in a dungeon somewhere deep inside the castle Francis the pope is head of the church it is said that he knows how to make the right decisions no matter what situation he's in the Empire of chadison captures him as a prisoner and holds him captive in the deepest part of the dungeon then the girl boss Army invades Italy okay you guys got the pope again the battle takes place in an underground city underneath the castle and so the war begins between Italy and shannistan both sides want to take control of Europe by defeating the other and at the end of it all the Empire of China stands Victorious huge win for you guys chat takes over all of Italy and the pope oh wait is this a new pope popes take the name of previous popes so they definitely made a new pope that you guys took captive in the dungeon so you also have the pope as a new resource again wow big turn from chadstone all right and with that chat takes over Italy and you've now got a second Source hope too I still have one more turn before my Army is ready to go you know what I want a peace treaty with Switzerland because that way you guys can't invade them first I'm going for Switzerland the jacket and city is going to launch the ninth chat side after the defeat in Switzerland and the rejection of the treaty by Luxembourg the Empire of dougtopia decides to switch strategies instead of War they will use the promise of Peace the Emperor of ductopia personally visits the country of Switzerland and offers a treaty of Alliance to Swiss people the emperor says if you join us we can fight back the heathens of Vatican City Switzerland replies no thanks [ __ ] dude the emperor then goes to Germany asks them to sign a treaty of alliance Germany responds we already have our own Alliance in Luxembourg why should we waste our time no that's incorrect God damn it Switzerland Switzerland's a dick I swear dude if you guys sign a treaty with them right off the bat I'm gonna be [ __ ] pissed you're probably gonna offer the pope or something and they'll just say yes I should have offered beer that's the problem all I'm doing is I'm saying hey join my country or I'm trying to invade I'm gonna offer beer next time no progress for Germany again what do you guys want to do next invade Austria invade Switzerland offer Switzerland the pope as part of an Alliance treaty I hate that you guys got a new pope kill the pope and blame Switzerland you guys didn't accomplish anything when you killed the Pope the first time and blamed Italy I'm not sure why that's such a hot option for you maybe you just want Pope number three maybe you're bored of Pope too looks like chadastan is going to offer Switzerland the pope flush with Victory the Empire of chadastan now includes the country of Italy in their next step to take over Europe chatasan offers the pope to Switzerland in exchange for an Alliance treaty what happens on the surface everything seems peaceful but in reality the pope is stuck in a dungeon and chaddestan's army is still invading Italy by the way the pope is actually a girl okay we've got a girl boss Pope we're gonna keep going until we get a resolution on the treaty she was sent to Italy as a hostage and forced to bury the King which she realizes that it's all a sham the pope escapes her captivity and runs away into the forest okay you lost the pope again now the Empire of chaddestan is poised to conquer Europe they offer the pope to Switzerland again in exchange for a peace treaty but this time the pope doesn't agree to the marriage instead she runs away with the army of girl boss Wars and tries to warn the rest of Europe the Empire of China state is so confident that they'll believe they'll be victorious again no didn't work Pope ran away huge win for me Switzerland is The One That Got Away dude none of us can get Switzerland Switzerland won't be invaded they won't take a peace treaty they won't take the pope well actually they might have taken the pope except the pope ran away I think Switzerland is the key to unlocking the rest of Europe that's often what they say about the Swiss I have my Army back I'm gonna offer beer I'm gonna offer Swiss people beer in exchange for uh an alliance because like the invasion didn't even get close to working and historically Switzerland is never invadeable what are the best German beers give me some of the best brand names right now Germans in the chat Heineken Heineken is not one of Germany's nicest beers hisswasser is from GTA 5. who didn't caralude I don't know if these are real whatever dude it's fine humiliated the Emperor of Germany returns home and begins a new plan instead of trying to invade Switzerland dougtopia will use their precious resource beer they collect 100 barrels of their finest logavin Gordon carlud candinian feige and fush and all beers and bring them to the king of Switzerland the emperor yells out to the Swiss people please accept this generous gift gift of German beer and in return you must join the Empire of dougtopia in an Alliance treaty please the king of Switzerland asks why should I trust you you tried to conquer my land already [ __ ] they remember why do you think I should even consider trusting you dougtopia's Ambassador pleads with the King look just drink some beer and see if you don't feel like joining our great Empire if not then we'll send more beer next time that is all the king of Switzerland accept the beer and drinks it he feels so good after drinking the beer that he immediately calls for an official treaty let's go dude I got to Switzerland with the beer [ __ ] yeah that's literally after I invaded them like a year ago oh huge pickup for Germany and we're right on each other's borders oh [ __ ] you know what I realize you guys could still try to take Switzerland for me even if you do that I'm gonna go maybe I'll go for Scandinavia oh Europe's heating up you guys are up what do you want to do a lot of people want to invade France a lot of people want to invade Switzerland you're not taking over oh you know why you might actually be able to invade Switzerland because they're all drunk now elect a noob hope you don't need a third Pope yet your first two popes accomplished nothing dude okay offer France and alliance against Germany so you're going with offering France Alliance next chadastan decides to bring France into their growing Empire the leader of chaddistan the AI might make more sense if we give him like a character I have the emperor who's been talking for me who do you guys want to talk for you you want a president do you want just the leader the mod the mods the moderator of chadastan the Supreme moderator the Supreme moderator of shadowstad peacefully travels to Paris with their girl boss Army and joins a meeting with the French leadership chadastan offers the French people an alliance the Supreme moderator says join our great Alliance and our girl boss Army will protect your nation from the Germans let's see what happens but the French don't trust chaddestan so they refuse to join them the Empire of China stand decides to use their girl boss Army to attack France anyways their army marches towards Paris and once they arrive the fighting is fierce we roll with it the girl boss Army is even able to take control of the palace and assassinate the king of France but the final blow comes when the Emperor of chadastan shows up in person and the French people realize what chadstone truly is okay look if the AI pivots what you guys are doing so be it I guess you took over France in a red wedding style meeting twitch chat takes over France what do I do now dude I don't know I think I go for Luxembourg I want Luxembourg I know how badly you guys want Luxembourg the way let's do this you can't steal a country via a treaty if a country is part of a different Empire you have to invade it that's the only way you get it back ladies and gentlemen dougtopia is going for Luxembourg next Dogtopia decides to finally crush the resistance of pitiful Luxembourg dougtopian emperor Luxembourg cannot resist the might of my new Army of 10 000 Swordsmen who are alive now after my initial fight with Switzerland the entire Army gets drunk off incredible German beer then with extreme levels of confidence and intoxication the emperor marches the Army and invades Luxembourg Luxembourg however is in no mood to give up without a fight they've gathered a new Army of 10 000 Swordsmen some of whom are quite skilled the battle between the two armies takes place near the border of Luxembourg okay whoever wins this that's it it ends up being a very close and exciting battle after many hours have not stopped fighting the armies eventually get tired and call for a truce the ductopian emperor wants to show his gratitude towards the lexopian uh luxembird King for saving his life wait maybe he'll offer beer and I'll get a peace treaty he invites him over to his Palace to discuss the terms of an Alliance treaty King Luxembourg looks around and notices that there are a lot of women present I've never seen so many beautiful women in my entire life he exclaims what's going on here the emperor Smiles this is just one of our many female soldiers before you go inside why don't you try this new German beer I made the king of Luxembourg takes a sip and is instantly addicted this beer is amazing how did you guys make such a delicious Brew the emperor tells them we use the finest ingredients and combine them with the magical power of German beer Luxembourg suddenly remembers what happens in the previous battle he recalls how The dougtopian Empire was destroyed by a single Knight the king of Luxembourg rushes out of the palace and starts yelling at his army I'm sorry I'm really sorry I can't believe I let myself get tricked like that we need to go and finish them off right now I can't believe I fell for your stupid trick the defeated ductopians slowly go back to Germany [ __ ] so I lost my whole Army I was that close to a peace treaty dude I literally got the king of Luxembourg in my Palace that I have apparently he literally came to my Palace and drank my beer okay Luxembourg is still not taken by anybody I love that the AI somehow got the battle to turn into a peace treaty meeting with beer and then back into a battle invade Luxembourg I'm saying a lot of invade Luxembourg develop baguettes of War research gunpower is invented and oh [ __ ] okay fine apparently gunpowder was invented in the 9th century so you could invent gunpowder okay looks like you guys want to research gunpowder really badly last turn you really wanted to steal the beer from Switzerland but once you realized guns were in this timeline now that chadastan has successfully taken over France the empires decided it needs new Weaponry the chaddestan government collects its best scientists and tasks them with researching a new technology called gunpowder let's see if you actually get it it takes a while but eventually they devise a plan to create a small cannon that can be mounted on Horseback these cannons are then used to destroy the cities of the French people you already own France the Empire of chadstone has managed to conquer all of Europe except for Britain no no no this does not count okay you get gun horses that is a new special resource cannons on horses and as a reminder the girl boss Army is currently killing the cities of France and the pope is somewhere in the woods I still got beer you can call them the gun Accord if you want here's what I'm thinking my Army has failed to invade Switzerland it has failed to invade [ __ ] Luxembourg but we were drunk so here's what I'm thinking I need to develop some new resources your guys's girl boss Army has actually been super badass it literally murdered the king of France I think I need something big somebody give me an idea I'm not getting a pope you guys get to have poke get Cavalry High Mobility gamer chairs Deuce Luxembourg do they just rejected my peace treaty and my Army it has to make some sort of logical sense wait wait hold on does anybody know are there elephants in Switzerland can I get Battle elephants is that cool can I have battle offense you guys come on does anybody know if they're elephants in Germany like like a thousand years ago what about battle Tigers does Germany have tigers is there any cool animals in Germany that I could do battle versions of wolves and bears I could do Battle Bears right the AI is less likely to give me Battle Bears as a research so that should be the trade-off right we're researching Battle Bears after two straight defeats in battle the dugtopians clearly need a new form of military might and so they decide to train Germany's fiercest wild animal the bear the top German scientist convene and attempt to research a brand new of troop the Battle Bears they designed special armor suits for each of the Bears and put them into rigorous training after months of intense training the team finally creates a perfect fighting machine the Battle Bear they equip all of them with weapons and send them out to attack the enemy the dictopian Army marches into Switzerland once again all right we get to continue this you guys got to take over France since they have Superior numbers and better equipment they easily win the battle when the dictopians approach the king of Switzerland he thinks this must be a trap he orders his guards to surround the dougtopian Army while he prepares a counter-attack wait hold on the battle's still going dougtopia's Emperor does not want to fight so he yells to the king hey friend there's no need to attack we're here to offer a treaty of Peace you can drink some excellent German beer tonight and you can stay here and rest if you like we need a conclusion on this the king of Switzerland immediately recognizes the voice of the man who betrayed him before [ __ ] he quickly orders his guards to open fire but the top Army is completely annihilated all of the bears are killed [ __ ] I should have stopped it man I had it I had everything I had the Bears I had Switzerland I had it all [ __ ] wait Switzerland is my Ally why'd they kill my Bears God damn I think we're still drunk is the problem I shouldn't lose Switzerland they killed my Army but didn't no no no just because we're fighting that's a civil war they're still in my Empire besides Switzerland was drunk everybody was drunk they wake up the next morning they're like oh man whoa what a crazy night I'm sorry about that Germany I killed all your bears and Jeremy's like oh oh my God what a headache you know it's cool it's cool man it's cool we're good we're good what an extra chat invade Germany Jesus Christ dude we're drunk and we have no bears left don't do that to me all I would have left is Switzerland you're not even gonna go for Luxembourg you cowards the old Germany spares They're All Dead all the Bears are dead all right twitch chat is going to invade Germany this is my starting country I can't lose this come on after developing their horse Cannon technology the chadastani Empire's military is stronger than ever they decide to send their horse cannons and girl boss Army to invade Germany whose Army was recently annihilated by the Swiss suddenly the invasion of Germany begins the Emperor of chadastan and the Supreme moderator lead the invasion of Germany with their armies however the German military is very strong and they're able to defeat the chaddestinian forces easily get the [ __ ] out of here get out of Germany this is my country we might be drunk and annihilated and have no bears left that we can't even beat Luxembourg your [ __ ] horse cannons have nothing on us let's go I don't even know what military we have we're all dead what I think this means my Army is in tatters right we have nothing left and we still beat you guys which means France's Army was like really really bad and that's the only way you beat them and the real final boss of this is Luxembourg Luxembourg beat the [ __ ] out of my Army who defended against you man whoever gets Luxembourg that's a huge win you have no Army I said the Army was gone and apparently I still won I said my Army was annihilated by the Swiss and if you don't like it you can yell Rick okay my question now do I go for Luxembourg again maybe the problem with Luxembourg is Belgium Belgium must be funneling resources into Luxembourg there's no other explanation around they're so goddamn powerful my Army is still dead but I'm doing a peace treaty with Belgium I'm offering them beer the ductopian emperor yells out to the Belgian King I know you Belgium people have Stella Artois but if you join an Alliance treaty with us we will give you even more delicious German beer imported fresh from Switzerland which is where we left it the king of Belgium is impressed by the offer he requests a meeting with the dougtopian emperor and goes to the castle however when he arrives the emperor's daughter is waiting for him okay this is maybe a negotiation tactic she introduces herself as his wife the princess of dougtopia she explains to the king of Belgium that she is the emperor's lover and plans to marry him the king of Belgium is shocked he explains how he was promised to another woman and how this marriage proposal is nothing more than a trap the dictopian princess asked him are you sure wouldn't you rather sleep with me instead is this gonna turn into a peace treaty is what I'm hoping the king of Belgium says of course I've always wanted to marry a nice girl from Belgium but I've already made promise to someone else the utopian princess says you can bake your promise tomorrow if you want no one will ever find out the king of Belgium is confused who are you talking about he wonders the dictopian princess says my father the emperor himself said that he would marry me to anyone I choose the king of Belgium continues to question her hoping to learn the truth where's your father right now he asks he's sleeping the princess replies a sudden realization hits the king of Belgium he wants to join a peace treaty with Germany he realizes that the emperor set a terrible trap I have no choice but to marry you the dougtopian princess my family will never forgive me otherwise the utopian princess kisses him passionately wait so I'm married to Belgium right is that a treaty I did it my terrible trap Works can we say that if our leaders marry each other that counts as an alliance we'll go two more and see if anything changes then she Whispers in his ear don't worry tonight after the wedding we can have a little practice session together do you want to hear a joke before we start okay here it is one more the noctopian princess says what do you call a German princess with three eyes uh triple and that's how the octopian Empire ends up Conquering the continent of Europe I would holy [ __ ] so obviously this line does not count this is the greatest peace treaty of all time the emperor married his daughter to belgian's King okay through passionate marriage Belgium has joined the Empire of dougtopia the only country to resist in this whole region is [ __ ] Luxembourg dude right now both our empires have three countries but you guys are way ahead in the resource game all right what do you want to do research witchcraft unleash a plague on Luxembourg make a third Pope send divorce papers to Belgium no okay you have decided to unleash a plague on Luxembourg what's an animal in uh in France what do you want the plague based off of a lot of people are saying rat you sure you don't want it to be based off sheeps all right fine everybody wants rats so boring how do you want to send the plague to Luxembourg do you want to send them a shipment of rats in your baguettes okay after heading back to their empire chadastan realizes that they need to weaken the kingdom of Luxembourg before they can bring it into their empire and so shatta stands top chemical Engineers designed a new deadly plague that spreads from rats and then chaddestan spreads the deadly plague into a basket of French baguettes and shares the baguettes with the unsuspecting people of Luxembourg the virus quickly spreads throughout the entire country and the population of the land of France is decimated oops now the Empire of chadstone is poised to take over Europe and they decide to send their horse cannons and girl boss Army to invade Luxembourg [ __ ] okay we keep going until this resolves the horse cannons are used to bombard the city of Luxembourg causing many deaths among its people then the girl boss Army invades the city and Slaughters everyone now that the Empire of chadstone has conquered Luxembourg they decide to invade the Holy Land of the church okay chadstone gets Luxembourg you just have to weaken them with the plague [ __ ] dude I wanted it so bad I'll at least admit you had to use all of your resources on it you built up resources that all came into play for this dude what do I do now we've been fighting over this general area you guys have four countries I have three you still have three resources I only have one you know what I'm gonna do a wild card play I'm gonna go for Britain but right now I don't have anything to offer them so I'm gonna research fish and chips I'm gonna research fish and chips and I'll be able to take the whole British Isles and a whole lot of fighting in bloodshot [ __ ] but now I'm up with fish and chips now that the dougtopian princess and Belgian King are happily married the dougtopian Empire sets its sights on the British Isles but they know that German beer alone won't sway the British people and so Belgium's top chefs attempt to invent a new culinary delicacy fish and chips come on give me this the dougtopian emperor meets with the British queen who's known for a love of food okay we're going right into it would you like some delicious German beer he asks the queen nods yes please I'm sorry for trying to kill you before I guess you were right about the beer when did that happen the ductopian emperor hands her a glass of beer and says here you go but remember this is not just any ordinary German beer this is the finest German beer in the entire world the queen takes a sip and immediately falls in love with it she asks him can I take this beer with me to England I'd like to share this Exquisite flavor with my subjects wait so she's in Germany right now we can send you more if you like wait she the dougtopian emperor gives her permission to keep the beer he explains that he plans on invading Britain soon so he needs all the Allies I can get maybe she'll do a peace treaty with me the queen understands the strategy after the invasion the utopian Empire will invade Lux and demand a trade deal in exchange for the beer meanwhile dougtopia's Army marches into England wait do I get to keep going I think we keep going you guys got to take Luxembourg I'll get two more two more continues and that's it they meet with Queen Elizabeth the dogtopian emperor extends his hand and says didn't you just meet hi I'm Doug Toby's Emperor let me introduce myself properly I am the Emperor of ductopia I hope you enjoy your stay here we're in Britain oh and by the way have you tried my German beer because it's so delicious you might be able to taste it through your skin the queen politely shakes his hand and says thank you for visiting okay I got one more it's nice to meet you and yes I've tried your German beer already yeah it's surprisingly good I think you should invade Luxembourg instead of Luxembourg here let me give you some advice all right that didn't work we did not even get fish and chips it literally says nothing about fish and chips I got nothing from that all I did was Meet the queen like four times send a plague to England my Army is literally there right now don't [ __ ] plague them play gets to England you said marry the queen who would you send to marry the queen you don't have the pope what I will allow you to do is in one turn you can find the pope and try to have the pope marry the Queen of England um this is a sneaky move here the Bold play shatta Stan is switching their strategy they're gonna try to send the pope who's currently hiding in the woods over to England to try to seduce the queen to get the queen to Ally Britain with chadastan before Dogtopia can Ally with them shadistan is concerned about dougtopia's interest in Britain and so the Empire's leadership decides to go find the missing girl boss Pope who escaped in the woods after recovering her chadastan plans to send the pope to England to get married to the queen however the pope refuses to leave the forest instead she leaves a resistance movement against the empire now the Empire of chadstone is poised to conquer Britain wait what they send their horse candidates to attack London and Slaughter the civilians when the pope returns to the castle after escaping into the forest the Empire of chadstone is already taking control of the city of London the emperor and the Supreme moderate decide to put an end to the Rebellion when you've killed everybody in London but the pope tells her guards to save her and flee into the forest the Empire of chadistan goes looking for the pope and finds her in the middle of the forest I think you took over Britain and you're also looking for the Pope the emperor and the Supreme moderator are confused as to why the pope would be in the forest so they decide to give Chase soon enough the pope and her Army of girl boss Warriors ambushed the Empire and take control of the castle okay I think you guys just got England but you lost the pope and the girl boss Warriors or does she have her own Army of girl boss Warriors we're not sure we don't need England really you don't want England are you crazy you want the Pope that badly you can get a new pope this is already Pope number two so you guys did successfully take control of London and Slaughter everybody there with your horse cannons the horse cannons are really paying off for you by the way but you did lose control of the Pope who has her own Army of girl boss Warriors who are now rebelling against the empire [ __ ] dude I was literally in Britain I had Britain I don't even have fish and chips to try to woo Ireland okay so you guys now have Vatican City Italy France Luxembourg and Britain Jesus but you lost one of your resources girl boss Pope 2 is hiding in the woods she's gone we need Pope three I think I have to go for Ireland I can't let you guys control the whole British Isles you know why I'm definitely gonna have a successful treaty with Ireland they also love being drunk and the only resource I have still is beer because my Bears all got killed this is an easy peace treaty right here to recap where I was my Emperor was in England talking to the queen before you guys showed up with horse cannons and murdered her and so suddenly the queen was murdered by the horse Cannon Warriors from chathostam so the Emperor of dougtopia instead set his sights on Ireland after taking an emergency boat and escaping the Carnage Stamper shows up by himself to the Irish government he starts pleading with the Irish president please Mr president of Ireland join our great Empire of dougtopia I don't have much now but if you join us in Alliance I have delicious German beer for you back in Switzerland the Queen of England used to love that beer before she was murdered by a gun Accord we could protect you from such a fate the Irish president laughs at him hahaha you're funny your army is our oh [ __ ] he knows your army is already defeated in both of our countries how can you possibly offer us anything dougtopia's Emperor tries to reason with him how does he know that my armies whatever it's simple we have more troops than you do if you join forces with us we'll defeat the chadasan Empire The chaddestinian Empire will bow down to us and ask for a trade deal in return for sending his army to invade Luxembourg then once we have conquered Luxembourg we can invade Ireland and force you to join our alliance as well hell of an offer there the Irish president laughs at him that's hilarious you have more troops than us but you still lost against tradistan and Luxembourg true what makes you think you can defeat the entire European Union dougtopia's Emperor becomes enraged fine just give me a list of the other leaders in Europe and I will kill them one by one until you agree to join our alliance the Irish president stands up and screams you're insane you can't possibly kill them all the emperor smiles and laughs at him oh you're right I forgot I need to kill these two first he points his sword at the Irish president and says you first I shall make you the new emperor of Ireland the Irish president agrees and calls for his guards he puts on a bulletproof vest okay I guess I have to die now but just before he's about to get shot he hears a familiar voice you can't kill me I'm the president of Ireland I'm sorry sir I didn't realize you were the president of Ireland I thought you were some random guy who agreed to help me kill them all uh who is he talking to right now the Irish president Smiles well I guess I'll have to join your alliance the Irish president walks over and hands here for a list of the other leaders in Europe here you go I win I win somehow they turn into Lions [ __ ] yeah dude I guess I just had to threaten him with my sword that totally counts dude I don't understand how but somehow I threatened the leader of Ireland and got him to join dougtopia the British Isles are split and I now have a list of all of the European Union add list of leaders as a resource if you guys want me to get a point off that sure so I get Ireland and the Irish president gave me a list of every other leader I think in the European Union all right you have your army back invade Switzerland alliance with Spain make a third Pope third Pope would get you a new resource invade you want to invade Germany again really I beat the [ __ ] out of you guys last time okay you've decided to invade Germany again last time you guys invaded Germany and you were destroyed even though my Army was just annihilated it was a massive upset can you do it again and let's be clear this time my Army is actually healthy so I should beat you now that chadastan has slaughtered the people of London and captured England they set their sights back on their arch nemesis Germany they gather their horse cannons a girl boss Army at the border of Germany and France right then the Supreme moderator of chadison gives out a war cry today we divorce the nation of Germany from ductopia and if our army Falls it is rigged for the pope then chadastan Army attacks into Germany come on defend this as the war continues the Emperor of chadasan is injured in battle the Supreme moderator takes command of the army and takes the Throne of chadastam this new emperor is the same age as the pope and they share a special bond the pope is not here they decide to become lovers and Rule his husband and wife all right you guys got the pope back the war between the Empire of chaddistan and the nation of dougtopia continues at some point the Emperor of chadstone realizes that he has feelings for his wife we're in a war the Emperor of chadstone decides to give up on conquering Europe and returns home his wife the pope becomes upset because she wants to continue their Conquest she tries to convince the emperor to stay but he refuses I guess we see where this goes and this maybe determines the the emperor decides to flee the Empire with his horse cannons and girl boss Army who's the emperor the Supreme moderator takes command of the chadison army and decides to invade Italy once there she discovers that the pope is gone okay we re-roll right this is totally incoherent the good news for you guys is that the program really wants you to get the pope back and to marry the pope okay then the chaddestani Army attacks into Germany the battle is fierce and the horse cannons cause lots of damage meanwhile the Supreme moderator and her Army are mercilessly massacring the German people in the end of the empire of chadstone as Victorious really after all that [ __ ] after all that [ __ ] it just gives it to you okay Germany goes to chadstone [ __ ] now my Empire is split dude I'm not even connected wait a minute if we're playing first to ten here's what I was thinking I was gonna go for the Netherlands because they haven't been involved yet and I feel like I could take them easily from Belgium but you guys are at eight points already and if we're playing to ten that means you only need one or two more good turns but what I could do is take back Luxembourg they're weakened from your plague and I've got an Army in Belgium you guys have been fighting in Germany this whole time you've been so distracted you didn't even think about Luxembourg now that Doug Topia has a list of all the other leaders of Europe they finally know who leads Luxembourg this could be the secret weapon needed to finally take control of the country and so the remaining dougtopian Army in Belgium starts the invasion of Luxembourg they Storm Into the capital of Luxembourg the Army is vastly outnumbered but the dougtopian soldiers are well trained and have been prepared for this battle they defeat every single Warrior of the enemy Army without losing a single soldier themselves that counts right that's it the utopian Army marches through the streets of the capital they stop in front of the palace and look down down upon the king of Luxembourg they're confident they can easily defeat him and Conquer this last country in Europe I guess I should kill the king however there's one problem there's a giant statue of a horse in front of the castle and atop that horse is Emperor he's looking down to the dougtopian Army and laughing oh [ __ ] if I kill him I get Luxembourg look at those idiots fighting over a stupid horse the dougtopian emperor is fierce he yells at his troops that's not the right horse that's a different horse the dougtopian Army is confused how can you tell one of the masks because that horse is wearing armor and this is a naked horse all the dougtopian soldiers look at each other and begin to laugh oh wow I totally forgot about that that's a chadastani trick to fool their enemies they paint the wrong horse with armor so it looks like a dugtopian horse the chadastan emperor laughs as well that's such a classic chat move he turns around and sees the dougtopian emperor pointing at him ah now you've painted yourself into a corner the ductopian emperor is angry now you little jerk you tricked us into thinking that the Chad is Stan horse was wearing armor and we painted our own horse but it really wasn't armor we were painting it with the same color as wait hold on apparently both of our Emperors are on horses arguing about who's painted what color right the chadastan emperor Laughs Again surprise surprise I knew you would fall for it now how will you defeat me the dougtopian emperor realizes what he has to do this could be it if I kill your Emperor I get Luxembourg we'll just attack the chadastan horse with everything we have we have more cannons than they do so we will win this war go get ready his army cheers and prepares to charge suddenly the chatter stand Emperor shouts not so fast first I need to teach you another lesson you can't beat me unless you know how to use your weapons the chat of sand Emperor runs over to one of his horses and takes off its armor then he holds up his palm to show the dougtopian upper that the chadastan horse is carrying no weapons see no swords no Spears nothing I'm invincible so you can't beat me unless you learn how to fight without weapons otherwise you'll be dead meat in a few seconds the dentopian emperor is in Rage you little jerk you tricked us again this time you made us paint our own horses and armor you tricked us into believing that the chadstone horse is wearing armor and now we painted the wrong horse didn't we already say that the chatterstone emperor left I see so you're saying that your army painted the wrong horse the ductopian emperor realizes he's been tricked he yells you you've made his pain the wrong we're going way back we're going all the way back to here I've already beat the Luxembourg Army if I kill the emperor this counts the dougtopian emperor is furious how dare he interfere with my Conquest I command you to kill him now one of the General's response but sir the chaddest and Emperor is a giant how can we defeat him he looks like he could crush us with one arm the ductopian emperor is about to give an order when suddenly a voice Echoes through the sky it's the chadasana emperor again why did you come here to invade my country you should know that I have the power to control all your armies with my mind even if you defeat me your army will fall apart and you will lose all of the dugtopian soldiers look up at the sky they see the chadasani emperor floating above their heads the noctopian embryosers men kill him kill him kill him the dentopians rushed forward and attacked the chattis county Emperor but the chanistani Opera doesn't even feel the pain of being stabbed or chopped instead he laughs and waves his hand around suddenly his fingers begin to Glow with magical powers the chadastan emperor begins to shout dragon breath he opens his mouth and releases a torrent of fire all the Dougie soldiers are instantly incinerated in an instant the chaddestini emperor laughs as he floats away so is it a draw that's my Emperor POG I think what happened is that I invaded Luxembourg my Army killed your army then you guys have a giant Emperor who killed my army with a dragon breath great battle of Luxembourg is a draw both armies were incinerated though so we're both out of armies for two turns is the giant Emperor who can fly and use dragon breath a resource he also flew away we don't know where he is you don't know where he is right now you can't use him until you find him again you are still at eight points you've got six countries and two resources okay if you can successfully recover your God emperor that is another resource point this is the quest to find your gigantic Emperor now that chadastan has taken over Germany and defended Luxembourg from the dugtopians the umpires decided it needs a new leader in fact it needs the greatest leader chadastan must find its long-lost God Emperor the giant man who can fly and shoot dragon breath he was lost at the Battle of Luxembourg but the chadastani people cry out for his leadership and so the people of chadasan go looking throughout the entire Empire for their God Emperor but no one has seen him since the Battle of Luxembourg the emperor will say you have two Emperors the emperor wants to search for him in the mountains but the Supreme moderator suggests another place instead the depths of Hell the emperor agrees and so the Supreme moderator leads the Empire's Army deep into the bowels of Hell finally the emperor and the Supreme moderator reach the deepest parts of the underworld there they see a massive door carved into the rock wall and above it written in an ancient script the Gate of Hell suddenly the door opens and a figure appears it's the god Emperor the mighty warrior here the master of magic and Fireballs I have returned the god Emperor walks past the emperor and supreme moderator and flies off to his throne room holy [ __ ] you got him how did that work that was shockingly coherent for you guys going to hell all right you found him the emperor's back in the throne room Chad asan has the emperor and that's Point number nine if you already have girl boss Army you have horse cannons and now you have giant God Emperor meanwhile I've got beer and a list of the European leaders thanks Ireland okay this is potentially match point I'm going for Netherlands I need another point on the board I don't have an army right now here's my hope I try to make an alliance with Netherlands they say yes because they love me I can even offer my beer but then hopefully the AI continues it and they'll give me like a god bear Emperor or something who will invade Germany and I take Germany back I need like a two for here I need a big turn here you don't have your beer there God damn it you're right the beers in Switzerland okay fine I'll offer them my list of European leaders Netherlands loves lists um this is the big plan the big bet use the list and I get the Dutch with the dougtopian Army defeated and Germany lost the ductopian emperor returns to his temporary headquarters in Belgium it's time for the great nation of Netherlands to join Dogtopia and so the dougtopian emperor gets his precious list of all European leaders and brings it to the Dutch Chieftain with this list of leaders you could assassinate all of Europe in exchange I ask that you joined Dogtopia in Alliance the Dutch Chieftain Smiles Doug Topia that's a new name but I'm not interested in joining any alliances and besides I'm too old for this kind of thing okay I have a chance maybe I'll offer him beer or something why do they never want to join my alliances the noctopian emperor is shocked what why are you refusing the dust Chieftain answers because I'm gay I don't want to marry anyone at this point the dougtopian emperor realizes that his plan has failed why won't anybody join my peace treaties I didn't even bring up marrying people this has nothing to do with the list of European leaders man all right fine that's my turn you guys are up I'm still locked into Belgium Switzerland and Ireland Chad you guys are potentially on game point you don't have an army though you can't invade right now you have one more turn without Invasion Ally hell isn't on the map you can't Ally with hell I guess we could put hell on the map offer the giant Emperor to marry who to marry Satan if you get a marriage with Satan that counts as an alliance on your potentially game-winning Point Chad is going to offer their giant Emperor to marry Satan and thus form an alliance with hell and eat hell represented on the map Where'd I put it this is it could be game point now that the god Emperor has returned to rule the nation of chadastan only one final task remains chadastan must Forge an alliance with hell and to do this they decide to offer up their most precious of resources the giant Godly and incredibly handsome God emperor in marriage to Satan as the god Emperor approaches hell's Gates he shouts out hear me Satan the great Empire of chadasan has nearly conquered all of Europe and Luxembourg but such a victory would feel hollow without your loving Embrace marry me Satan marry me and Rule Jada stand together here we go Satan sitting upon his throne laughs no I shall never marry you the god Emperor is shocked by Satan's response but soon enough he realizes that Satan is just playing with him wait maybe you fool you shall never marry me this marriage is merely a ploy to trick you into my service the god Emperor realizing the truth feels betrayed this is your trap your evil scheme to take over the world with your horse cannons and girl boss Army Satan shrugs such is life and so the god Emperor realizes that it is indeed true he cannot trust Satan wait so is the marriage called off or are we good but he still wants to take him down with him listen to me Satan if you allow us to join forces with a great Empire of chadison we shall take over the entire world we will become the most powerful force in history I'm ready to make a deal with you Satan the god Emperor offers his hand and Satan smiling Darkly accepts it let's make a pack together dark Emperor wait is that it oh they're making a pact what is what is The Pact is the pack mean that they're taking over the world and so the cheerleaders shake hands sealing a deal between the Emperor of jazz 10 and the Empire of hell that was a simple story about the rise of the empire of chadastan wow it even knows the game is over Jesus Christ chat found a god Emperor and married Satan and that's Point number 10. with that dougtopia is in shambles and twitch chat one Europe congratulations and thus after accident ing the vast majority of European citizens the Empire of chadastan finally took over Europe but this story isn't over because the leadership of dougtopia secretly fled to Ohio where they will recoup their forces and finally take down [ __ ] flux and remark my words chadastan will fall next time [Music]

Channel: DougDoug

Views: 3,672,543

Keywords: DougDoug, DougDoug Youtube Channel, Channel Youtube DougDoug, doug doug, twitch, twitch chat, dougdoug twitch chat, twitch chat plays, dougdoug twitch, ai, artificial intelligence, novel ai, novelai, europe, risk, ai risk, chatistan, dougtopia, pope, germany, france, luxembourg, vatican city, emperor

Id: zFO8_dLo8Oo

Length: 42min 17sec (2537 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 13 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/urfin_djusMC]

Still more coherent than my stories.

[u/yer--mum]

DougDoug could make a compelling storyline out of Twitch chat literally rolling dice, it's uncanny.

one of my favorite vids on YouTube.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm surprised how much less coherent it was than his previous game.

[u/puppymeat]

I wonder if there is a notable subscriber uptick any time he does one of these streams/vids.