Impractical Jokers 200th Episode: 200 Min of Punishments | truTV

well our wish came true Joe law severe punishment we are at curtain calls question theater today you're joining a live stage production and you'll be playing a genie don't have lines you'll have one line yeah genie does this you wish okay we'll take care of the blocking okay and the flying I don't like that look something going on oh this something going on big about you oh here we go there's a lot of people here [Music] okay so an audience is here to see a play called Arabian Nights it's our show Joe is our genie and we literally control his movements all right Joe time so this is offering Chris O'Neal he's a Broadway star from the Book of Mormon life is tough if only I were a prince what's this junk oh here comes Joey are you a genie yes can i wish for anything i want TV does as you wish Genie does as you wish can you fly genie does as you wish can i wish to marry the princess genie does as you wish [Music] can i wish for unmatchable power genie does as you wish more than anything I'd love to marry the princess but she has to marry a prince in him Prince needs a palace Genie I wish for a palace Genie does as you wish I got caught right in the throat with the rug you're not done yet that's just act one this is the finest palace I've ever seen Jeannie I wish for the princess to be here by my side right now Jeannie does as you wish I do do you have a lot of people that live with you just the servants please grace me with your hand in marriage of course I will Jeannie I wish to be married in this pass Joey it's not over yet buddy let's just finish this it's all down to this act 3 the big conclusion Jeannie thank you so much for making all my dreams come true my pleasure congratulations on everything that's not your Lord everybody is gathered let the ceremony begin [Music] I never imagined meeting someone all these years later Here I am it's changing vows beautiful amazing life together congratulations [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] it's time for punishment buddy oh this would be the end of my time on the show all right hop in but this is terrifying [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] serious by the way tomorrow we are all off to London together to film the film an episode there for a week so he's gonna have no eyebrows in the entire London episode I quit your murder you take pride in your eyebrows we all know no we're gonna take away your pride I actually shaved my eyebrows with a straight razor is that weird are you those eyebrows be really wood overboard my eyebrows look look popping oh god I can't I can't hey oh oh oh my god what does this look like this is not right guys oh my god right now well not yet say goodbye to the scrum is what you got left up here it's all going she had Carol son got a house at the end of the block I think she's hot now to see Connie's new minivans how could you miss it it's all over social media hot pink [Music] when can I look in the mirror look at the back this is the best part we found a way to make it worse thanks so much we got you to your next appointment bud because the thing is that this grows back right so there's only one way to capture this moment in an eternity yeah new driver's license photo every time you have to show photo ID I can't I gotta cancel all right but you look like a demon that is bad expires March 2002 [Music] [Laughter] [Music] how'd you like to be handcuffed to that 24 hours something we've always talked about being handcuffed to a mine for 24 hours this weekend we're headed out on the roads to perform live and we're about to get on the train but first we're gonna Hank up Q this is Q has no idea he's walking to his punishment mimes drive Q crazy get away from me welcome your punishment all right [Laughter] [Music] [Music] so we're about two hours in hey feeling about I got a piss so badly alright ok I gotta wash my hands wait don't get hit by a car please what is it you're doing now the wind it's the wind it's too much wind come on yeah everybody its own little dollop oh yeah evenly spread I'm definitely gonna dropkick you at some point I'm just gonna dropkick you through a window okay no this has been an all day he does he's been doing stuff like this we know [Applause] for 24 hours this is Q's punishment let's let's bring him out Brian Q Quinn hasn't said a word to me I'm a tech get off me Pierre would you get on this all right sounds like the best parts ready to come later on when you guys sleep what does that mean why you agreeing with him this guy is killing me dude don't worry you that's it it's over it's not over on us right he's got his own chair I don't know why but do it after after all a lot of times awful sake see their hunts hits ten o'clock sleep tight [Applause] [Music] please just want me to watch my handsome face please just go to bed [Music] both of them are alive I'm so excited for sow the wind South look at these look around you you're in a city of angry people I mean notice how not one of them looks like two having a good time [Laughter] it's like I can't think he let me tell you and obtain dead serious bingo I got a ping it's on the screen it's on the screen look he's gonna way near it oh they can see my card also the whole place just saw my card and so how many I was missing okay thank you now looking for ways looking at him now it's bad let's see what happens next he's a man they go for real my bed I got it this tight god this time my bad my bad my bad oh my god I can't get back into it no no no your hunter don't worry bingo [Applause] [Music] I know I don't like tonight before I gonna have that bingo bingo it sounds like all hell's about to break loose how does the room feel right now buddy oh my god dude you know thank you walk us through it walk us through it you have to come out here right now and see what's going on out here I'm not coming out there no you're on your own buddies any member craps understand for real what's going on out [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] no he's missing some this is the worst punishment I've ever had [Applause] obviously just told me she's gonna throw something at me I do it again well let's see if she's fully bingo they have turned they have turned I got that bingo cut I got that bingo people say they're not playing on woman they're gonna come after me right now they're saying they're not playing no more man I can't [Music] [Applause] my hot model sense is tingling that's because we're here for Joe's punishment backstage at a fashion show we're in a few moments this room filled models I'm a model you're a model well you will be model when dressed in my entire life I guarantee you if you went out right now into the city streets and just started running full speed people would flee like they were Godzilla line up here we go oh god I'm gonna kill myself okay this makes total sense so it's me then multiple beautiful women build up that confidence build up that confidence what Joe doesn't know is that there's no fashion show all those models are fake he's gonna play a software developer giving a speech on brand new at Kentucky's to informed techies who know what they're talking about dressed like that guys I'm next if I fall just play natural work your body working buddy said none of these people are expecting a fashion show good luck with the presentation welcome everybody we're doing a presentation today it looks like a it was like grimace you guys so let's get started let's take a look at our new apps cutting-edge in application technology let's take a look the first app race book race book puts all your friends of different races in one place and segregates them so this is gonna go for $4.99 random number generator now this is this is one of our favorites that we were excited about we generate a completely random number in a matter of minutes it takes minutes for the number to be generated and why does it take minutes why does it take so long so we try not to repeat one number ever across all platforms why would you need a randomly generated number your privacy's important to us female finally email for women I know what you're thinking don't us girls whose email already know it's an email only female market only generated email app spam deletion periodically once a month is easy to combine accounts with friends you cycle up the female verification filter once you press the send female will ask you five more times are you sure you want to send this I really appreciate everything we printed presented here today thank you so much [Music] [Applause] Marie is that big loser that's right today we're at tumblr and the CEO is giving their weekly meeting and Marie you are a new hire very hip and young you're gonna tackle the whole thing just before we get rolling here I would love it this week CEO is the only one in the room that knows he gave us permission to film with tumblr Marie does not know that intern experience baeza mana [Applause] I'm originally from Turkey and I've been working on is core team yeah like a boss it was amazing it was wicked I organized it like a boss yeah more obnoxious they'll go balls I had meetings with other teams so it was really great like a boss before I start anything about my project I needed to plan it I had a u.s. experience before but it was with objective-c like a boss mumbled tumblr police on their breath tumblr Shoetique mana I mean who doesn't come up who doesn't come up in this meeting doesn't come up seems like the whole company's coming up reminder Rihanna's on participation trophy for everybody it's like a participation trophy [Applause] Shuki tell us about your experience this summer jokey sure kidnap sugar sugar now hey I have an idea want to zip it until he's finished okay thanks all the employees using a interpersonal I am called slack and they're on a call for security to come get them out so merge just say I'm on slack to I can see what you guys are doing here I'm on slack - I know you guys are doing [Laughter] we had a special surprise for y'all we just found out a little while ago how big a fan they are of Guy Fieri and it turns out Joe has his contact info and we called guy and asked them to call in [Applause] [Music] [Applause] everybody flavortown hope you having a good summer yell Guy Fieri you suck by the way you are huge on tumblr I don't know if you knew that or not our team really loves you a lot we have a big project Guy Fieri sucks hey watch out no you're at the top of the look Huey's a loser so for your punishment buddy we took you out to the ball game yeah you're not gonna enjoy it because today you're playing the role of the Little League parent that everybody hate yes so cute you're gonna sit the bleachers with the other parents and used to do and say what we tell you to and you cannot refuse anything because it's my punishment every comes daddy got out of work early enjoy what a good dad right here we go alright you're gonna yell to pitch you to ease up on the pitches startled to offer slow it down with those pitches guy a little fast dude just throw your hand up and look around like every week this guy every week this guy it's opening day you got a long day pal which one's yours all the one at bat she's not that good but she's not one of the worst yeah queue in the next pitch yell strike before it hit reaches the plate strike I can't even like my hearts are racing remember kids you're not here to make friends let's play some ball all right remember kids you're not here to make friends play some ball father sterian I feel me becoming your concern to people thank you here comes somebody for you Oh cute that's your daughter Oh huh my dog tell Akhil come on get back in this come on get back in the game you're embarrassing me get back in you're embarrassing me please just go back please just go back please don't look at me with those come on get back out there come on you got this hobbies come on you just go how moms are worn it - oh gosh my mom's a whiner - oh God I can't even take it I can't even take it anymore is that shoes daughter thought making a huge announcement all right this is my girl right no hint no puppy oh there's no puppy lovey - love you don't you oh god don't make me say that Macy you want down and love you or what yo you gonna make sure your heart's not in it Macy your heart's not in it I can tell from here take her out of the game you're in the game let's go Macy done basketball everyone come on Maisie we're gonna try basketball she's doing fine did you see huh come on Mason come on come on come on we'll get you some sugar baby come on all right we'll just try basketball baby it's okay so Sal's our loser and he does stand-up comedy but he never invites us to a show so today Sal we're gonna make you do it for us and said yeah except we want you to absolutely bomb oh my god we brought you to the advanced learning Institute's conference buddy serious business people from all over the country carriers out here for this conference to be am at a business conference yeah they're ready for me right now bring out the guy in the fish tie so you have to absolutely bomb we have done a lot of business talk these last few days this is the end of a three-day technology conference probably the worst place you can go up there and try their stand-up well people just want to go home this is every comics nightmare this is every person's nightmare now you all know we tour is the Impractical Jokers Sal oh so does stand up on his own he loves it it's his number one passion passion and he's actually living that dream now please welcome Sal Vulcano do not be funny I know it's hard but you can't be funny hey is this on we hear you are you hear me okay how's everybody doing okay Sal bomb I heard you guys were here for a conference you guys are here for business yes look what kind of business funny business [Laughter] that was actually too funny Sal I would like you to rein that in okay the funny thing about a conference call the funny thing about about a conference call so you can't see the people on the other well you can't see the people on the other line because when you have meetings it's probably much more effective for communicating RIF about marriage a little bit oh man I'm divorced women be shopping [Laughter] all right all right now talk about your family I have three siblings tough growing up with three sisters so yeah tough getting some bathroom time all right never get to punchlines so you know a lot of people think that you know women are bad drivers I'm here to tell you they're not all right so here's our arsenic are funny an onion ring in his fries his Arnold Schwarzenegger finding an onion ring in his fries what what is this I did not want an auditory I wanted fries dude okay so you gotta keep bombing one last impression for you one last impression they were openly mocking you here's a republican ohio state senator rob portman he's a he's a new one I'm working on a Republican Ohio senator Rob Portman pick it up his dry cleaner taking up his dry cleaning what I'm sorry I don't have the ticket I am a router Portman I'm the senator from Ohio can I please have my stuff I have some ID on me good enough thank you my god this is awful you know abortion is let's skip that one look at the faces in the room that's so bad she'll be good honey take your jacket off we put sound outfit together today where my single booze bags at so where are my single booze bags at nobody just me all right I just got about 22 minutes left just trying to fill the time all right my skin is crawling just went great all right thank you Asians right Asians am i right I love Asians I have an Asian wife I lied I do have a wife got all of you it's like I owe you something I just dropped a bomb on yes well literally and figuratively all right just get out of that you've had enough okay bye thanks a lot guys appreciate it everything's gonna be okay so today we're here at the complex NYC what are you gonna do buddy is go up to people who are working out and just just dinner that's it until it becomes so uncomfortable that we all can't take it probably not gonna annoy anybody right Joe the machines you're right how do you use it I always akin this to like what a vampire walks into a church [Laughter] surrounded by the enemy everybody's in a zone they're taking their fitness seriously the last thing they need is you coming with those baby blue eyes see this guy putting the weights on sit on the bench in front of him but facing them and just watch him work out funny this is weird this is weird let's see discuss behind you stare [Laughter] let's see surprise show you what you want to walk right up to the treadmill a stair that guy no well you know you don't really get to say Joe it's a punishment that's enough feedback from you thank you Joe jog in place staring at him not on a treadmill and now slowly turn and stare at him I break break away break away we're gonna have you walk away all right we're gonna send you back cute guys Joe go right up to the treadmill stare at that guy there it is Joe creep a little closer to see you work out all right break away Joey you've been out there a little bit you feeling a little peckish yeah mark look on top of that garbage can over there buddy we left a little something for you what's out a ham and Swiss yeah all right now just stare at people with eat yeah let's turn this up a notch stop bowed face Oh Joe you want to get on the treadmill next to him but don't job just stare them they're looking away Joey this punishment is not ending until I hear an f-bomb hurls in your direction bow so keep going no one's confronting him he's winning so answer are you here we go on the luck Joey owned it he's now trying to decide what to do [Music] no back up off the machine I'm about to use it back up off the machine spy I don't need a spot that's fine Joe go back six inches and still stand there this is all we're telling you about this is right now you're at a conference center yeah and when you go into the room and they need to volunteer you are the volunteer that's all you're getting we're not telling you anything else yes what kind of conference is it one way you raise your hand and say I'll do it just take your punishment like a man like a man is that a clue no no we're just trying to tell you a man up good afternoon everybody I'm dr. Frank con Assessor how you guys all doing today I'm a doctor of internal medicine I'm the guy you go to for your yearly physical so who's afraid of a yearly physical a lot of people have doctor fear everybody's afraid to let a doctor touch them sometimes oh and what's the one part of the exam that most guys hate the most a prostate exam right so you bring somebody up and do a prostate exam he's put it together so I mean I haven't asked for a volunteer a free prostate exam who could turn that down I know one person that can come on I got a nice gown for you you could take off your jacket if everything else on see your arms go over here so I'm gonna put some gloves on I'm gonna put some jelly on my finger and then have you bend over the harder you fight the harder it's gonna be MRSA fun don't right away look at the whole crowd turn right now look the whole crew can not wait for this to happen everybody is watching hovering over like a NASA mission everyone's just like oh my god well we all go to the Dark Side of the Moon okay when I tell you to you're gonna take a deep breath okay very good looks like you suck it on eleven now we check the right good news is everything is fine that was a perfectly normal prostate we should mention it ain't over in medicine you can never be too sure so I always like to get a second opinion so [Applause] my colleague is here just to make sure that he has a normal posture [Applause] look at him Murray's presenting okay here we go almost done okay dr. Frank everything is in order believe that you're safe and sound here Lawson we're here at the Brooklyn Cyclones game for his punishment buddy all you had to do is walk out there on to the pitcher's mound and just say no no no no all right well obviously something else is going on yes Oh [Music] oh god what is this okay cue he's gotta say no no matter what happened oh my I'm on the I'm on the jumbotron I don't like all these people staring at me guys ladies and gentlemen we kindly ask you to please direct your attention to the pitchers never seen before in a few words right now okay honey for the last seven years you've made me the happiest I've ever been in my life you are my best friend I love my heart my world from the moment I met you I knew this was something different something I've never experienced before I don't want to spend another minute on this earth not being your wife you see what happens here is Brian Michael will you marry me [Applause] no this time I'm actually I'm serious for real my parents took the bus from Tampa here tonight so Brian with my Terrance's witness all kidding is not in front of the whole stadium will you marry me [Applause] No [Applause] oh she's on the market if anybody's interested oh let me guess I'm in a talent show come on you're the judge of the talent show to be more precise it's a children's house do you like the sound of knows that the kids are in on it they know that Sal's a plant judge the audience though no I yell I ordered chicken wings an hour ago what sound as knows that the kids are in on in the audience though no clue I ordered chicken wings an hour ago [Laughter] it was really beautiful to watch thanks so much for that great performance make sure the girl knows that you order chicken wings an hour ago too when you give your feedback I was having a hard time concentrating on it only because I ordered my lie what a chicken wings an hour ago I called that out while you were dancing it's hard enough to sit through her kids talent show it's hard enough it's it's hard enough to you guys know this it's hard enough to sit through a kids talent show despite the fact that you know you gotta eat you know I oughta check anyways forget the chicken wings that was great idea tables a bag of potato chips open it up and make it as loud as possible while you're open ice that was good not great that was that was good not created [Laughter] [Music] next up we have jump rope [Music] so you jump so your town this you jump so then you just jump them you ever see your kangaroo have you ever seen like a kangaroo they jump they jump they don't get awards for it to that they don't get awards for it though do they the audience is shooting you daggers thank you last one last one buddy last one damn that was a good form [Music] sounds do you wanna get up and do some karate moves Sal show me a move watch this [Laughter] [Music] I could take in a fight I can take you in a fight we know that is big loser hey buddy we're in a Woodbridge Center and all you got to do really is just give massages to people shopping in the mall all right get out there give them some rub downs a little bit more than just giving a shout - you're in a massage chair thanks for the update yeah yeah dude do you know what you think the climates like in here it's it's a it's a balmy 97 degrees I'm ensconced in pleather Joe where are your arms can you move them right here where are your legs they he anything like when people sit on you it's gonna hurt probably this so when they put their arms in the living you're gonna massage it with your hand I don't know what I'm gonna do talking me like I've done this before oh you mean the last time I was massage chair here we go here we go take off buddy turn on Joestar massaging Jo she thinks it's real she's now she's squinting like this is a little weird all right Jo use your hands time is up there is a thin layer of pleather between me and someone's fist that decides I punched the chair that grabs them we're hoping vibrate combination [Music] [Laughter] [Music] he's already in sales smell this chairs gonna start smelling I'm sweating like an animal in you Joe this machine makes noises now use the hands bud all right Joey Joe give her the old whirly world leaderly setting what if the chair gives compliments you look beautiful today [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] time is up you're welcome [Laughter] guys is this stunt alright one last person that battle do you flew by Amba in from Japan Flambeau weighing in at about 387 pounds good job everybody knows that Murray is afraid of high yes absolutely probably his number one fear yes no but you fear that shocks yes there's nothing to do with sharks no it sure shark adventures bar goes in the cage cage goes in the water nobody's ever got hurt by a shock do you see the video from like two months ago of the guy in the show he's in the great white King case I'm sorry I don't watch videos alright here we are buddy the open waters I don't want to do this you're gonna be fine Meyer you don't know that you're gonna be fine you don't know that here we go [Applause] sturdy oh that looks pretty right here yeah literally right here look at that guy oh my god we may have gone too far I know what you're wondering what do you do when you're in the cage but don't worry we put some fun stuff at the bottom for I'm not slowing down stay right here no you don't get out until you do the things yes like you have to go get your passport that we put at the bottom of the cake it's down there in the treasure chest get in there I got reservations for dinner look at masculinity in the new century we're gonna hear over 300 people get bitten [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] well your passport is down there if you don't want you passed but you don't have to get it we're in Hawaii don't tell them that it is there's no less than 10 sharks right now you're gonna need a biggest gross it was a play on words from a very popular quote from the movie Jaws [Applause] all you guys do is go down and hold the mirror yeah go down there and just shine that all over the place in the tractor [Music] the murder some professors would detach in the cash he doesn't know or he doesn't know he split away right now he still hasn't realized it now [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] nice pullback will drag you back three miles so q is the big loser SN tonight he faces the mother of all punishment that's right cuz you're teaching the laws to a roomful of pregnant women how far we're really far as there are many accidents here are the old plans okay breathing techniques my name is Brady Quinn I'm a breathing expert and I learned that in India you can't walk two feet in the air without somebody grabbing you and me like amen relax calm down man Jamaica relaxing through labor demonstration wait what yeah you're gonna demonstrate how to relax through labor bud Oh Stephanie Stephanie this is your real punishment this device simulates the pains of childbirth so what I'm gonna do I'm gonna place the pads on your abdomen and it's gonna contract your muscles just like during labor like a baby's about to come out there's eight levels of intensity so we're gonna put on level one and it says if your water just broke maybe the key is to remain calm don't tell somebody go yourself all right so now we're gonna go up to level two okay okay I mean it's bearable obviously I can do it because I'm doing it oh yeah [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] all right that's it you just had your baby so now now starts the hard part what to name it are you ready for something new Sal is that loser hey buddy you know that really annoying thing when you go to a restaurant and the host can't find your reservation yeah got it so they're not gonna have my reservation [Laughter] [Applause] we here at Delmonico's steakhouse one of the best steak houses in all of New York City okay so I'm looking at this book there is probably about rough estimate maybe 35 reservations in the next in the next hour there's 35 reservation it's not tough place to get into money yeah I feel like the next person walks and just won't have the right energy for now that's that's Big Bear that is you coming in bad energy reservation Oh she'll by the way hang up the phone oh my god playin - put the phone down I'm sorry it's not the right energy for tonight was there anything else was there anything else I do I realize it's just not the right energy [Music] alright allow it oh he's a champ I love him bill wait alone he can't believe you let me oh I'd like his answer he was so beware he solved his own problem that's what we like by the way how ironic that is the best energy here we go here we go baby all these guys tables are ready ok this is I actually realized that I don't want to do this gentleman really hi how are you tonight first average 633 6:30 this our men not to be trifled with apologies I'm not finding the reservation to Delmonico's to Delmonico's to here Wow that was tense this is a rough one hi Howie yes we have some little planned for our front salary now who's coming in Sal is that Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon oh I'm so sorry mr. DiCaprio Thank You mr. Damon thank you so much Lisa come on Brenda good to see you again that's a face that says I don't think that's Caprio and Damon they come here often I'm sorry Oh [Laughter] unfortunately the arrival of mr. Damon and mr. DiCaprio made it so that usurped your reservation yes sir usurped your reservation they they they they deserve this word deserve they deserve pain they they have they have the they there they're seated now so what we can do is I have a 9:30 two hours from now I do have a 9:30 they were questioned to speak with the manager this is brutal this is brutal mom you can't just speak with them we had a there's a Caprio this is a DiCaprio situation this is this is this is a good one who we're about to hit prime Delmonico's dinner time Oh an the timing is just gonna be all unfortunate for Sal okay hey guys reservation yes Sal let's get a crowd formed make people all wait for their tables now no problem okay just just wait right over by the coat rack I'll have someone see you in a moment hey guys hey you doing sure can you give me one moment just sit right there and how someone come over and yes thank you there's a wall people in front of me hey what's up how you doing great so whoever gives you the most money gets to sit first does anyone have any friends maybe Andrew Jackson or Benjamin Franklin I like that that's subtle guys it'll just be just a moment which is a little full moving along as quick as you can is anyone eating with Andrew Jackson perchance it's over pal Andrew Jackson anyone eating with Andrew Jackson oh my god oh my god the ladies are pulling together their money oh my god please please she comes she comes oh yeah if you were with Andrew Jackson I could see you right away that's correct well here at Delmonico's we believe in free market enterprise Jackson hi Jose all dressed up for his punishment and the reason you dressed that way is you're gonna be conducting an expose style interview who's across room that's what I am worried about what you're gonna do is go in there and ask these questions that we've written for you that way go give them held by dismission hell here we go [Laughter] we're gonna get an interview started here I'm just gonna ask a couple questions what does a motorcycle sound like if I was to ask you what would a motorcycle sound like what would sound like can you guys make that sound as a as a club as a club could you guys make that make that sound what are you serious no it's okay if you didn't want to play on this one the questions get worse and worse and worse if you guys had to say it what would you say is the UH what's the silliest thing you've ever done as a gang a gang [Music] I apologize if I offended you guys I don't you know I'm just asking the questions it's a it's an expose so you know they're just tell me what to answer I can't all right next question if you know if you had if you had to pick if you had to pick what what's your favorite crime what's my favorite crime assault assault nothing about that it's an expose I don't know whether I love this or I'm scared I don't know oh my god I'm sweating okay now what's your favorite Katy Perry song the one when she's with another girl committing lesbian ah mines alien huh well this is just insane wow this is we're in the downhill portion I believe if anybody could just tell me uh okay who do you think is who's got the lamest tattoo oh my god it's an expose so what's the biggest reason your biker friend calls you the Tattler what it's the guy in the white bandana Joe in the white bandanna what's what's the biggest reason your biker friends call you the Tattler I know right you guys get that he's no rat call me again it's an expose - so he is fuming all right so what emotional void in your life does this gang thing sorry this is not a game and this is the final this is the final question do this better be a good question you give me that wedgie oh you're getting help [Applause] [Applause] sorry fellas it's just an expose day I'm gonna go find my balls and a tech conference thrown by sighs sense whitmer you got to give a speech a speech I could do that all night long so in the past we shot your mouth up with novocaine shot your body up with histamines we mess with you for underneath the podium yes this time we're going to mess with your voice yeah you'll notice in the microphone there's a tube that's connected to either helium for your voice to go high or sulfur hexafluoride to make your voice go low so you suck it and then you talk and then craziness ensued I got it you're fine cuz all you have to do is got there and suck what you do every second so Kinesis is a streaming service that allows you this place I said this is the invitation only industry-leading event right now these are the people that forged the future exactly right through technology he has no idea what this speech is about at all so he has no idea that he's gonna go start with a personal story and let's just say it's gonna take a turn our next guest is a professor of science technology and society at New York University's his research in the field of neuro augmentations in data segmentation please welcome to the stage dr. Dexter Scott all right [Applause] alright verse we're gonna tell you which one is sucky to the helium of the sulfur and then you just go ahead and continue good talk give your speech my name is dr. Dexter Scott I'm going to share a story about my own addiction to technology almost ruined my life in all seriousness I'll never forget that breezy perfect day just at the start of the summer and I was to be married to my high school sweetheart dr. Mary Jo Simmons oh I'm so excited I'm so excited it was also the year I got my first smartphone Rock Mary Jo was truly my better half we did crossword puzzles together every day she was everything I could ever ask for in a partner however on our wedding day I get a very important call regarding the patent I was working on what do you say about some sulfur suck the fools at the US government denied my patent relationship and Mary Jo finally burst through my door in her wedding dress and begged me to turn off the phone and then I did something I would always regret I turned and yelled at Mary Jo get out of here you ignorant child we broke up she married my rival professor Arthur good thought and I had to start over without my patents or precious Mary Jo now I've learned that the best way to use technology that sulfur is to become the technology behold I am the megabyte and I control resistance is futile this is the super villain megabyte origin story another thing you should always always do he's fear me fear name have you ever considered pay more attention to your phone and a fellow human is sulfur time completely pointless now there will only be technology like myself shutting down earth lights in three my mainframe is getting punted will interface with your children and your children thank you for your time my mother is here to pick me up we gave all the way to bunny Springs Ranch in Las Vegas Nevada accuse punishment it looks like there's a lot of bad people around these parts what's a good thing there's a new sheriff in town I'm the sheriff yeah so giddyup new doggie clean this town up all the way to Vegas why aren't we the kinda Buffy why are you screaming in my face [Music] all right sheriff we heard there was some trouble in the old Nevada the old Nevada saloon how is this a punishment so form the sheriff of an awesome town you know what happens a sheriff's in old westerns right welcome to the saloon so far everything looks okay keep the word down by the bank is that the guy with the red bandanas a cheap well it's nothing to do with me yeah word around here buddy is that you're a cheetah's out of this what are you gonna do I'm gonna kick your ass all right I'll tell you what I'm gonna do better I'm gonna kick your ass partner oh yeah [Laughter] solo I just put that window in there [Music] you're sorry you having a bad day sure I mean I don't really give it about this town at this point jump or dive so bad about this there's no bullets in me I'm not stupid you know that right I know that my friends are making me jump at the horse here we go there's only one way off the roof all right [Laughter] [Music] alright sheriff let's get you cleaned up how do you like your shirt q you look so bloated you think I don't know there's something up with this shirt we gave him a quick costume change stuck in the hole shoot him again just just die [Music] [Laughter] Sal's our big loser so to celebrate we're here at garyun crystals wedding yeah okay who is Garin crystal ah don't worry about that Sal you should worry about the speech just going to speak from the hall I can't that's fine we didn't think you could so we wrote this speech look at them all right here he goes oh my God look at this there's a lot of people in that wedding buddy what Sal doesn't know is the bride and groom or actually in on it yes but the 300 strangers in the room are different story here you go buddy next speech is all yours pal yeah yes hello everyone what Sal doesn't know is the bride and groom or actually in on it yes but the 300 strangers in the room are different stories definitely not Krystal and Gary have always been the most good people I've ever known they have always been there for me when I needed them they're like loyal dogs they're like my dogs not mean so it's fitting that they stood by me when things got rough rough [Laughter] when I first met them I used to ask Gary all the time if I could I used to scary all the time if you could send me some pictures of Cristal in a bikini no I run a project where I bring pictures of all different girls in bikinis to prisoners in exchange for wood workings speaking in bartending speak I can give you this metaphor about marriage the man is like the liquor and the woman is like the mixer and life stirs it up and God is like the bartender and then and the devil say it the devil is your mother-in-law life's gonna play tricks on you you'll lose your job you'll fight you're going to debt you'll get sick so let's raise a glass these two people love each other so much I hate it this isn't a Jewish wedding but my Jewish friends Hyman told me that in his culture it's important for the groom to break a glass I've no Jew but I have broken a lot of glasses but tonight I don't mean to break the hymen tradition I want to tell you guys something that my grandfather told me when I was young that gave me the chills and if he's most fitting today he said Sal here we go here we go I shot a lot of Japs in World War two guys there's no denying you're awesome together but sometimes marriage can be like war don't let the Japanese get in your way [Laughter] oh they're starting to revolt crystal you're beautiful inside oh here it comes here it comes you got to finish that speech buddy you're beautiful inside and out I should know that went over well that was brutal man gentlemen let's raise a glass that was really harsh Joe is that he's big losers so for his punishment we've taken him to the bustling heartland brewery in Times Square the tables upstairs are ours and they break go break the tables the other ones that are not what happens to those men all right buddy is it's lunchtime it's a busy New York City crowd and among all these tables only eight of them break everybody's doing okay yeah good great so just say I'm a manager so anything you need so the people sitting at our tables are with us the rest of the customers are real and have no idea what's happening but Joe all the tables look the same I was hoping that would have been a misstep no I mean I gotta try to stay longer to try to stable with the dude you there you go everything okay where'd you get that the beef stroganoff meatloaf sorry about that you know I could I could find out another burger yeah I can find out we might have something that we were getting a delivery just gonna crumble if you put five pounds of pressure on it we're gonna need you to go full-bore airborne oh my god [Music] we got broken glass up front we'll get you another water there we'll clean that out well good thing you got the raincoat on cuz you got a little wet with the water sorry I gotta clean this up this a little slippery Oh floor slippery careful they realize it was so much water on there whoops he went down like a dead body that's unfortunate we're gonna need another table I'm a manager to be well are in disbelief and this place is dead quiet you're not done yet that's just one on the manager yeah just check and make sure it's sturdy that's good that's solid that's it for sure ski but he just laid in there plates and everything good yes great excellent okay I'm not sure about this one he's only one way to find out though all right it's gonna do it like a band-aid I'm okay I'm a manager that one stung I'm gonna try this table behind me please do jump right now on the table top I'm a manager get them a cheesecake halfway there buddy Jota once your love looks pretty peculiar cheers guys call my dick anymore patting you on the manager how's the bread is that one was easy good guys just messing with me there I was easy bad Joe what is this look some tables are harder break than others sometimes you need to get off the top rope you can I mean that's what I want to see I mean that's it if that's not a hint I don't know what is does that table this is a ladder break or not that was only one way to find out huh do you want to back up I mean this is happening [Applause] how the manager know it's gonna Butler I gave you two percent off my check carnage and for your punishment buddy we came to the downtown conference center where you'll be playing a culinary expert presenting foods from around the world okay except you're not gonna be able to taste anything in fact you're not gonna be able to say anything either because we're gonna shoot up your mouth and your chompers with tons of novocaine you can't just inject a drug in my body it's going to be completely painless as long as our friend dr. Dan Sullivan he's gonna be pumping your mouthhole full of the Caine what is the legal amount that you can give me whatever the legal limit is you're plus five here we go be careful doc because his blood boils like acid oh oh god it's so great I can't take it from just watching what do we do why are we doing this to ourselves hey feeling you already spent with every word you say your mouth you milk a persona [Laughter] hello hello hello hello home welcome everyone my name's Elias my name is James Murray and I'm a food enthusiast I'm very excited today to be presenting to you foods from different continents are there I've traveled to around the world okay this is a traditional Italian dish of spaghetti and meatballs what is it spaghetti and meatballs oh and of course to complement it we have carbonation you have a delightful glass of coverage cavernous everyone so now most people get spaghetti meatballs in a bolognese sauce most people getting meatballs in one you saw and of course let's not forget a good garlicky pesto and let's not forget a good garlicky pesto sauce I also like I also like shrimp scampi shrimp scampi you know who I heard makes a stupendous shrimp scampi uh-huh you know who I heard when stupendous shrimp scampi Susan Sarandon Brandon makes a great print scampi say welcome to the rock welcome to the rock I can't wait to dig in let me try some of the spaghetti but I'm gonna dig right in and show you a little bit of the flavor of these foods okay let's try some spaghetti oh man [Music] it's great go to another cuisine buddy this is a softshell taco I find when you put beef in a taco it's best to braise it I found that when you put beef in the taco is best to brace it braised beef braised beef is brilliant is me braised meat raised beef braised beef is brilliant I'll set it once I'll say it again I said it once I'll say it again braised beef is braised beef is brilliant you know who taught me how to make these tacos you know who taught me how to make tacos Bobby Flay why did any of you here read his cookbook did any of you here read his cookbook it was called bringing you the flavor ha ha it was on the backyard barbecue it was called bringing you the flavor from the backyard barbecue drink that sweet tea buddy um this is a sweet tea let's try it finish the whole thing [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] there we have it some fools fool from before and as I like to say arrivederci and as they say in Italy hail has lost the Universal Studios Hollywood episode so we're hanging out here Hill Valley all right and for your punishment today buddy you're gonna take their most iconic ride yeah the studio tour all around the back lot with a fun never stop yeah but the fun's gonna stop today because of you it's just gonna stop again and again and again in the gap all right stop stop stop here's where we film about big so Jordan the tour guide he's working with us he can hear what we said he knows the deal Jordan none of the passengers do Dory after all this is over or who could all these people up with a VIP tour and special access to Russ where are my back to the Future fan and the tram is packed all right buddy if you look up there's a nice red wire right above you you see that card that's the emergency brake we're gonna have you pull it whatever we tell you on your right hand side but it's a long that's Street right there that Street is called new you three New York Street that's a great spot to stop the tram lost in New York film scene you'll always remember your first emergency pull series ready do rear pull it right out there we actually utilize that we read assistance towards desperate mode this is a medical emergency please pull the cord again and we contact emergency services so I'm gonna walk alongside the vehicle now I will also ask to comes over to you you have to ask you attempt to park close when I approach the person that needs assistance I ask that they please raise their hand oh here we go yes sir I'm sorry I missed it if you said it what time does the park closed FFXIII not a emergency no that's why I didn't bring it twice pull the emergency cord if it's an emergency okay yeah got you but you're good okay but what the park the park is gonna be closing today at 10 o'clock okay I miss that thank you okay [Applause] so like I was saying this is fun yeah this is fun but also ran out there guys a lot of history has been on that street going all the way back to the nineteen forties oh it's been so long since we've stopped yeah you guys hold the cord again and we will contact emergency services can you slow down for photo ops oh yeah because what's the point of it if you can't get a good photo yeah we're supposed to be taking photos Oh cuz you going by pretty fast I just wonder if you slow it down so you just take a couple of shots sorry dude yeah you guys just don't pretty fast patch it just have your camera's ready when we go to the spot oh we coming back this way again not again so take your pictures now okay thank you oh my god the other cars are not happy if you have your photos out now is the time to have those cameras ready that's a dick you have your camera's out now so you get ready right actually it seems though for one of my favorite jack black films it's called Nacho Libre yes yes all right - here we go get rid of the pole but on the count of three we all yell naughty q102 [Music] has just been pulled we're gonna have some moment this is a medical emergency I just want to know how much longer is this gonna be how much longer is this I literally need you to pull it only if it's an emergency for 45 minutes it is the tool we try to tell you ahead of time so you are coming in I'll just rearrange my dad it's fine do you need to get out or you know I'll rearrange my day oh yeah all right thanks emergency sir thank you okay if we stop any much more we will have to skip parts of the tour now all the vehicles you're seeing out here were actually used in the original trilogy Jurassic Park on your right look the arms across the guys next to him the arms are just cross this area ran out here is called at six points Texas already killed three two one stop get out of town we will contact emergency services qgs ask him what would you just say back there I missed it yes I just I missed what you said to Sara I we had entertained this any longer are you okay yeah just miss Theresa emergencies sir hey bro wasting everybody's time [Applause] changing the guy next to his froze the get over you know a cue and scissors moving pull it again right right on here emergency please for the party games wanted to tell him you're sorry you don't want to get off on the wrong foot I just no no it's I just want to do apologize we're getting off on the wrong foot that guy's very obsessed weird sir seriously I do not want to do not sir at this point we actually do have to skim through certain portions because now too many times have pass in front of us so we will be missing portions of the tour now [Music] jaws isn't the biggest monster on this tour buddy [Laughter] you're begging else you wanted to stop sure stand up and pull it ready queue [Music] [Laughter] can we get security can we get security out here sir I need you out of the tram is he talking to me he's right here which one this guy's you're coming out it's the end of the New Orleans episode and we're here in the Bayou for Sal's punishment bog monster Louisiana what is that by the bog I don't look like the Box monster you will [Laughter] [Music] the fog monster has come home that's it buddy you can see him through the camouflage but he's right there I'm gonna die a heat stroke so you're a big attraction on the tour that's about to come through boys gonna come through here and they're going to see the rare bog monster of Louisiana and we're just gonna walk it through whatever we say the bog monster does sound hi back there buddy he talks a heap bugs there's all sorts of and we have fish and organisms ladies and gentlemen you are in for the treat of treats the rarest of all creatures lives in this swamp we like to call the bog monster of Louisiana some say he came from Italy some say he came from Spain most people think it's Mexico the Mexican bog monster it's the bog monster making an appearance wow what a treat look at him in his natural habitat you may ask yourself what does a bog monster eat his absolute favorite is fish or raw fish I'm gonna throw it out I mean let's not the help he's getting tired you could tell that the bog monster started it most people won't know how he sleeps it's very weird how he rest he actually puts his whole body on the water up to his chin all the way to expose just there's just this head see he's going in for a rest it goes oh take a nap ignoring the leeches the parasites look at the bog monster oh but see now the warm water and effects the bog monster Ashley it's some form of arousal sometimes where he'll stand up and start doing his mating dance which is quite a feminine it's an effeminate mating dance I'm gonna kill you [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] Joe is today's big loser which brings us here to the little red grave theater on Bleecker Street where we're gonna fill this room with science enthusiasts and force you to pose as an expert the moderator is gonna ask you a bunch of questions you have to answer them to the worst of your abilities we're so excited to see this we wanted the best seats in the house that's right we're gonna be on the panel with you buddy so you're gonna be helping me out I would not go on that thanks everyone for coming out tonight we're gonna be covering a lot of big topics so please help me in welcoming our panel of experts look first we have a Brian Quinn who is the professor of Robotics at the College of Staten Island yes we have Sal Vulcano who is the Operations Specialist at NASA dr. James Murray head of drone research at DARPA and finally Joe Gatto associate director of quantum mechanics North American division so what were your reactions to the prison program I would definitely defer to ya lands right in my wheelhouse um the prison program [Music] you got a yeah think about it from all angles that's what a prism means right you got a the prism you know theory basically really is saying you know as a prism operates its to come into problem of different angles my I think it's best to attack a problem at its source and destroy it there it's been a year and a half since the blackout against SOPA and PIPA and now with the benefit of hindsight why do you think that blackout was successful Joe oh the blackout yes it happened do we learn from it maybe should we absolutely I'm sorry I'm just I'm just a simple robotics teacher from the College of Staten Island I don't know if there where what the blackout even was what was the blackout the blackout the blackout was you know the blackout is a you know we lost power so you so you're taking this question to mean literally yes could I ask you a question right I've I've never had the privilege of being on a panel with a quantum mechanics expert you have we all have heard of the quantum mechanics of Planck constant of course yes I've never quite understood it could you explain it in layman's terms you know how the world goes round does that yeah the Planck constant doesn't stick of a plank a leg of a pirate ship was so the world is spinning no no in layman's terms sorry dr. robot in what I'm saying is if you give me a chance to explain here the plank the Planck constant just means that you know as the world spins some things don't what are your thoughts on superposition everyone knows superposition of course in the quantum mechanics world what's your thoughts on that I could take it or leave it I'm all good with it for the most part I mean can you speak to the part that you're not all good well I mean the biggest thing is uh-1d use it and when to not use it right I should use it in a computing system that's going to guide missile attacks in Central America yes should you use in a tablet no you shouldn't use that it's ablet I don't need that in the app but there's not an app for that and I'm fine with it because superposition isn't a power that should be yielded by a ten-year-old named Duncan who lives down New Jersey on his iPod touch I want to thank our panel very much for coming out I'm glad I did this this is very enjoyable we heard village pop for murrs punishment and we're about to play very specific questions that as that friend you should know that's right never every question you get incorrect you have to spin the wheel they get that party buddy he'll never be able to walk through a metal detector again here it is we love piercing all right here we go it's simple answer the question right don't get pierced that's the Greek Russians right is when it ends say hi to lowly well that'll be piercing you today do we go i first question there are two foods i won't eat what are they I know what what's more butter that's right you do not eat sushi my my temple is intact okay so that's one right there to go what is my favorite Lionel Richie's your sentimental guy I'm going with hello absolutely not [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] oh I got it look so bizarre question number three you just went through howsoever you get I sees you yeah all right out of the four of us which one of us has been intimate with a stuffed animal [Laughter] which two of us have been hit by a car not in the car accident body car I know for a fact you've been hit okay huh you got a 50-50 [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] all right next question what color are our eyes okay you got one Hugh has brown eyes I know the least of us Alex don't I don't know I'm gonna guess oh my gosh breathin [Music] this is unreal all right sexy this could be a last question buddy from first to last what is the order that we all lost our virginity the answer is to San Marcos [Music] questions find condoms we wearing [Applause] [Music] what's your guys quick question you ever get anything pierced everybody tonight is coming to see tight fright there are metal bands here in Brooklyn all right baby boy you're at the front door you cooked in cover charges you got that fanny pack stacked with cashola yeah official staff badge you're all set how's it going man that one here we go good good we're collecting for the band tonight all right thank you Thanks so what Q doesn't know is there's no cover tonight this is a free show we are collecting for the band's alone thanks brother thank you very much enjoy the show thanks very much the power of a damn lanyard Oh oh thanks so much enjoy the show sir every single person's giving you money oh thank you well that's a lot of money I never thought I was gonna say this but am I gonna get punished anytime soon we're punishing you with boredom yo this place is jam-packed all right Q you could you could come on back here great job excellent job there you go shifts over shifts over not to work the door and all right you know good day see guys know what go back in the cops heads back out you'll know what to do when the time comes am I saying you might be good luck Taif right [Music] [Applause] there is all right got it be out that's fine settle anybody settle here we go here we go tight Friday's gonna come out here just a few minutes but I have a quick announcement that I brought to my attention that somebody was outside collecting money for the venue here but no one here is a free night there's no cover charge tonight so you find that person please try to get your money back [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] nobody's done you are in the lion's den now places you know up low right now in the fanny pack on the go hang out somewhere else oh no I'm cool I'm gonna watch the show it's getting a little hairy in there buddy don't worry the bag of money's at the bar hey I'm gonna go by the bar there's things over there only find out it looks like the Vols in town oh here we go my saga Cornish give people their money back you guys coveted beer go to the crown headquarters guys and I got the money here [Applause] [Applause] I'm so sorry about this big misunderstanding I thought I was gonna get away with this understanding I I didn't think I was gonna get caught it's a big misunderstanding last thing you have to do jump up on a stage ask every wife you're all square guys we're all square right we're all square Happy Holidays South off front Jeff from Wilson Barry counter let us borrow a couple of his buddies to mess a lot Big Bear I'm on the pest house it's about 150 degrees in here I'm claustrophobic as it stands I'm gonna pass out I got something that's gonna wake you up coming right about oh my god there's your friends take a look shop just how can you see this are you facing the direction of the bear [Applause] so gonna need you to stick some chicken in the cage yep it can't be oh my god be careful shall they smell fear you don't understand what their breath sounds like he's right in your earlobe you're almost on they're almost on with the chicken this is this is up you guys are lowlifes oh my god he's six inches from your crotch watch your chicken nuggets funny I'm out of chicken don't worry we got more chicken Fritta hey happy holiday salad boys [Music] chicken um I thought you can't eat me right now it's like a colorful game I'm getting really good at it came from throat that honest that's it so so Joe is not here yet he thinks we're filming a challenge today on the Roosevelt Island tram inside the tram but we're not we're actually going to strap him to the top of the tram and suspend him over the river Joe Gatto just get-get God today we're passengers riding in the iconic Roosevelt Island tram while riding the tram whip to complete his task given to us by the other guys you can't complete the task given to you Hiller's on top of the tram hundreds of feet above the East River if you don't do what we say the tram doesn't move only when you do we say will the tram further its way across the river also you like spandex right [Music] it's captain fat booing get hold it in any way you tattooed us get up you guys really have to get over the tattoos [Music] oh this is some this is some straight-up [Music] oh my god guys honestly who let us do this who do this guy's it's rocking when it stops it rocks scary now are you okay up there no one no I'm not okay up here all right Joe gosh Jonah get this the sooner the tram starts moving the sooner you're done with this yes yes oh good [Music] [Applause] oh my god myself rotten biscotti to save dogs move it hit the button hit the button all right let's move this tree so we're about to go over water now this is you got to stay low to me this is how I died Joe Rover's that Island right Forgotten borough yeah so this is your chance to tell the rest of the city to suck it Island Joe then on the train is not from Staten Island are the tram I heard South fall guys I told everyone to suck it could we get movement we're gonna bring it auto back to back to the fortress of Fanta tune well boys I hope they throw nuts wherever we're going I got a car bomb yo you was like a superhero right now the adventures of captain fatbelly today we're teaming up at Skydive Long Island's in Calverton teaching people how to jump out of plates [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm saying you will never do it I am NOT jumping no way I'm not doing too bad I'm going give me a keys I'm not doing it this is a joke right I'm not doing it no joke bro put your suit on up buddy oh one more new you know that you have to do it that you can't say no to funny it makes you feel better we're going up in the plane with you but we're just gonna land in this way that's all this is just this you know tie it in like a double knot or something I mean this is just fabric great this is just cloth it's nylon nylon this is nylon guys in case you're wondering the how strong the fabric is it's nylon [Music] [Laughter] there we go guys means knitter we get to throw Mari out of a plane [Music] express elevator down [Music] [Applause] are we there - hi he's way too high why are we still going up Oh [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] that was scary just watching watching my [Applause] don't drop me me - you're right there's a cup filled with red paint nice and then grab a big paintbrush and then I just want you to pick any canvas you want and draw a huge X from corner to corner I mean it's not doable I wouldn't think I just gonna draw a red X on my head that's interesting because you just check the scoreboard you lost this episode this is basically the impossible there's eight canvases yeah so what if someone pulls the painting right sound like Q's problem this is basically impossible you know I'm saying who everybody's looking good let's see each painting all right yeah I like your cat oh I love you a little cat oh this is top here we go oh yeah no alright but keep going Oh God look at their faces this does not feel right that's Joe six more to go when we got here oh how cute Oh God oh my god [Music] oh that's a cute bath and I have [Music] Oh [Applause] [Music] my life is horrible I can't watch this [Music] is the last one king there's no where's this guy how much I don't like you right now I don't like I don't like me right now you that refusal was a big mistake the only one had to do one buddy oh I gotta go cute is that the weirdest art class you've ever been to yeah it's cuz you were just on my TV show called Impractical Jokers that was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my entire life oh my god I'm so sorry [Applause] Sal's our big loser yeah this is normally the part where we tell you where your punishment is tonight we will do a little different yeah a little unusual yeah right here but I don't like this we gotta go you're gonna leave me don't worry about it don't leave guys is this Joey ton we clean up nice clean up real nice you look good in purple yeah what is going on what is going on Sal's getting punished today he has no idea where he's going he's bloodied and blindfolded 10 blocks away why can't I just walk with a blunt full he's going to come into this church strapped to a hand truck so we don't know how this is gonna go so when they keep cells strapped in the whole time what is that [Applause] ready one two three all right oho what's going on that's my sister I swear to God I want to kill you get legally message that's not true for the joke for a joke good joke on behalf of James and Jenna thank you for joining us they are delighted that you have come here to share in their joy during this special day is that a real priest yes oh the couple would now like to share a video of their loving journey that brought us all here today Oh marriage so that's not a real deal is it he's signing it now James and Jenna will pledge their eternal love in front of you all I James Murray take you Sal's sister to be my lawfully wedded wife I take you for who you are and who you are is Sal's sister what an amazing moment in the same day I get a wife and a brother see my new mom and dad I hope to be the son you've always wanted I sow sister humor to be my husband murder there's no other way to say it I love you I love you I love you do you Jenna take James to be your lawfully wedded husband I do I'm gonna kill her I'm gonna kill her do you James take Jenna to be your lawfully wedded wife I tell you're gonna be a widow soon if anyone here objects please speak now or forever hold your peace anybody [Applause] no we're good well good good and now by signing this official marriage license and the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband wife you may kiss the bride [Applause] Joe lost so today we here at twinkle place base for kids that's right yeah you know a parent's love they love with other parents trying to do their job for ya Joe you're the only parent amongst us and you're always talking about I'm a pair and I'm a pair now I dare it so get in there apparent other people's kids these are my three children there's a play space for kids and their parents parents are bring their kids here are good parents Jonas I think so is that woman testing you can't keep your eyes on your kids when you texted yeah that's right what's your secret texting in want and watching a child at the same time you might know if you were texting yeah it's easy to keep it's hard to keep track from sometimes when you're when they're running around he's it's a big space you know I'm easier when you you know it's definitely easier when you're not texting to keep an eye on Alexia Oh was that parent the parent was on that slide it's for children Oh pacifiers and trampolines don't mix pacifier and trampoline makes me nervous I don't see that beautiful face get posted up Japan should to get good parents yeah she's something being here what percentage of parents do you think of good parents you know what I did I put a chip in my son so I know where is it all times I put a chip inside my child to know where he is or at all times it's a kid tracker no but it's also they do wonderful things it's Wi-Fi this Wi-Fi enabled so it makes him very popular at the playgrounds cuz there's a Wi-Fi hotspot you're on the phone before you if you want to connect my son's Wi-Fi password sugar tits just one deuced I think one of the two of them juiced somebody juice just say to another parent looks like I'm striking out all over the place here today and you're striking out here all day Oh Joe looks like someone else is on their phone [Music] got to make sure you pay attention to what happened what happens out there so cuz you look down once it's like it's like texting and driving are you just a nanny thanks are you just a guardian or oh your son I've seen nannies text never seen a parent no cuz I'm publishing nannies text you've never seen really parent to it go to the kid did you get hurt while mommy was texting did he get hurt when mommy was texting what happened [Music] [Laughter] presentation on climate change I can do that blindfold okay that's easy because you'll be behind the podium and will be underneath it wow we have a lot of good ideas fellas good work all around congratulations my name is James Murray thank you so much for coming here today I am an expert on environmental studies and I'm going to take you through a presentation that we put together on climate change all right we're back CFCs you all heard of them CFCs are what's in aerosol cans sprays and it would be good the way it's like what in America we've passed a number of three quarters of the world still allows [Applause] [Music] [Music] more radiation hit hits the earth dramatically and their climate their environment is changing quicker than we can stop this jet stream is not just over America it goes around the entire world circles news in the u.s. we only focus on a hurricane that his'n seems like a fluke one in a century hurricane now step out the earth is changing at a level to make sure they could see in the back row now when glaciers melt the massive weight on the Earth's crust is reduced that's gonna hurt what's the your mark walk out now the polar ice caps at the current rate of retreat all of the glaciers the National Park will be gone next slide the pain of pollution is nice many of the actions that so weird now the three different lines you can see our ozone depletion and our pollution content our atmosphere is going to increase tenfold this audience must be like this guy is absolutely insane let's move on I'm up okay I got a friend now the sea level is rising they say that oh my god the global sea level has risen by nine inches what hi climate daily activities that could affect climate change there you go nice job buddy nice job if you had bought local produce all right come on back Joey yeah yeah the change that would cause hey Monty just take a stroll from behind that podium if you would just chosen to eat local and to buy local that cage would be dramatic [Music] changes are coming better make sure it's the right kind of change thank you so much for your punishment we're gonna send you out and about for a little old video scavenger hunt think his cues right armors in the cast that he can't move it at all it doesn't move you gonna have to go up there and film whatever we tell you to until we tell you to stop I hate you this is horrible you're like a teapot with video camera you're short and stout so you got that down huh we can only get a clear shot of a man's left nipple come on oh wait there's one oh come on yep it's a manual zoom meaning use your feet I have no way to defend myself get over there [Music] is dude my god he's getting a shot you get this guy's beens which means faster faster you're Gor Bonzo I'm just getting those beans [Music] sorry he's just called me lobster man hey Q uh there's a guy that with huge headphones say you have a guide the guy staring at me like he wants to kill me that's him okay let's get a shot of his left earlobe I'm gonna have to live the headphones all right you got it Oh God all right hey um this will cinematic guys we're gonna want the inside of a porta potty relieved at 360 degrees like doors shut inside of the porter body it stinks from here you're complaining about having just to stand in the Porta Potty I dug through no I know you dug yeah you didn't throw up oh my god blinking I got no time for this no no no get away from it you're like I'm telling off get away you can't run get it away from me what are you filming what does it look like it's floating in water we need you to film the inside of the fountain this is our version of Waterworld sir super ass alright buddy get in there and there you go cleaning is done we're here at six Hills Golf Course where people having just a great day playing golf I don't explain this to you no let me just ruin people's coffee yeah yeah - and - I got four there you go yeah you got four swipe beautiful beautiful day here at Dix Hills course right sun is shining birds chirp and nothing could ruin this day just gonna mess up every game look out here comes a ball that's a shot how there's go play that ball Sal Oh God Golf is all about rules and etiquette right we don't violate missions and then this out destroy all of it in one fell swoop I'm so nervous and I don't know what to do I I hate this I hate just a lot right now oh my god waving it no one this one here's the top flight though well you picked it up all right thank you hit again thank you I appreciate I don't I thought you said that that wasn't your ball well I man I am glad this is not me oh my god oh there's the ball and move right where that ball wind I want you on a business call a big merger buddy Bob I don't have time for this I'm on the links I say we merge I don't I'm sorry hold on Bob I got a murder I'm sorry I'm sorry I was on the court in the car I'm sorry you can't go on the green with the court oh I'm sorry was on a call I'm so sorry merge guys merge the two company just put in circles no after today after today the two companies become one yeah well I have stock options I don't know when they mature I'm getting nauseous here we go Sal teeing off all right Sal grab the book of the balls in the back of the cart go dump them right around there oh they're watching you Walter oh [Music] yeah yeah absolutely let's not try my best so I was because you're a note you're writing away the thing that as well as well me too no trouble I was I was also playing I would've got that in I would've got that all right I would've got that one in I would have taught that 100 oh my god get in this out how's your game going so far today I'm playing two balls okay he's teeing two balls I'll take a closer one I can pick up the closer ball if you want are you on paper yeah take that home yes so you sync the shot it's over [Music] I teach everything I know it's to a beautiful friendship so today we brought you to a fundraising event at the Algonquin Arts Theatre which is a nonprofit theater company that teaches children all about the arts you're gonna be giving them a full presentation about how you spent their money I'm guessing we miss out located fun I'm good I'll tell you that much oh wow you got a lot of people suits here for the serious-looking donors here hi everyone we raised so much money thank you all for making it possible the Algonquin has spent the past five months raising money to upgrade their theater and they just raised 125 grand at their annual gala from these people they will want to know where their money went we're excited to introduce two gentlemen who are putting the money to great use our new treasurer and our new secretary hello everyone how are you we're gonna take you through some time we've been allocating the funds over the last few months okay state-of-the-art coatroom motorized code organization and delivery system tell them about the app there's a downloadable app that lets you check on the status of your code during a performance this was $60,000 $60,000 to do this I don't want to lose the coat because then your nights ruined and you're literally out in the cold she's furious okay how about we have an in-house choreographer in residence Enrico our executive producer when you have to outsource choreography they really hit you over the head so we decided to bring in Enrico McPartlin protege and ex-lover of Twyla Tharp we just got him fun 95 thousand a year and we're putting him up for nine months at the Four Seasons in Lakewood any other thoughts on inner pickup it's gonna be great yeah how about there's a new handicap ramp there's an ornate spiral design we hired one greatest local architects in the tri-state area that was about a hundred K all the way up the ramp is a little bit harder than the way down you wasted all their money all the legacy circle you were excited yep our goal is to have all the elderly supporters yep make a lasting commitment to the Algonquian by making a planned gift for when they expire yeah a possible donor that we've identified as bar Barbra Calgary Calgary who's currently 98 years old she was recently diagnosed with pneumonia and is in Hospice we've reached out and we're waiting on word back Bob's will do the right thing here's what we're doing guys we're spending money to get money yeah this is a new deal with the partner theaters we've teamed up with a multi-level marketing company to help theaters across the region because just helping us is gonna help everybody else right so we give unsold tickets to other theaters and then the tickets are sold from our theater to other theatres as part of the two-for-one deal we googled the pyramid scheme and and went with that don't be scared by the shape this is just an upside down triangle bottom line your donations of 125,000 Karlis expenses right now is 2.4 million but we're working on them working on that we need to say the theater we're coming to you right now saying we're desperate Sal reveal the thermometer to your right is covered well we're gonna just show you right here so here's here's the goal and tonight we're starting here guys take the collection basket out from there we want you to go around the room collecting this will help us we're gonna go we're gonna go Sunday church style anything you can give us so today we hear and the Midtown amateur bodybuilding qualifier for murrs punishment you have to go out there and pose down and compete in a bodybuilding competition in front of hundreds of strangers I'm gonna oh you won't be for long my friend and please note that you [Music] [Laughter] we got oil y'all Wow guys let's get that ferret nice and shiny Roger bro oh my god you're gonna look good bro you are glistening yeah James we're ready for you good luck god bless america here we go all right so Murray's on his way to take part in a bodybuilding competition Murray's gonna walk through the door but they ain't no bodybuilding competition behind the door is gonna be my celebrity that is Murray's childhood crush Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years this is your seat if Maria one person over the years that he said he had a crush on hi Danica it's so good for you to be here today Danica you've recently been making the rounds to promote the 25th he can't even read you've recently recently been making the rounds to probe the 25th anniversary of Wonder Years my favorite show growing up how has that been it's been great I mean the same cast is really nice and you know just came out on DVD so for the first time we actually have the original theme song I'm sorry should I stop no I know you're doing great I'm I'm not following the conversation much but ahead of the game interviewer in my opinion you and Alyssa Milano were the hottest kids do you ever talk to her truth or dare I'll go first truth I used to kiss a poster of you when I was younger with tongue seriously I had a poster of you in my room and I used to French it I didn't realize I would ever tell you that that's pretty gross all right next okay you're three-time New York Times bestselling author in mathematics finish this equation me plus you equals really awkward you made the word nerd a cool thing do you think I can do the same for the word balding I think you're tripping did you shave [Music] what's with all the dirty pics of you on my fridge that's a good question I think that's one for you to answer what's with all the dirty pics of me in your fridge oh I'm a big fan you're America's Sweetheart I'm America's douchebag what would America call our baby a mistake is this is this the proper way to do a squat [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] Winnie Cooper Martin now flex flex [Laughter] that's cool young they're doing good that's been that has been a dream come true to meet you in person I wish I could say the same thank you so much I don't yes [Music] childish dreams do come true so cute loss cue is definitely afraid of spiders hue should have never told us he's deathly afraid of spiders please sign this waiver and I'm not joking that indemnifies the people that brought the spiders and Charles Charles the EMT he's here in case things go bad so that's a good thing it's by the pheromones all right you just get comfortable in this warehouse of terror that we decided it doesn't like sauce [Applause] how is it possible you look more miserable than normal I much imagine this is where it looks like when he lays in I'm very worried about what you have up your sleeve on the top of spiders queue is afraid of spiders yes but mostly tarantulas yeah we didn't tell him was that these are all time we always go big yeah okay here we go you guys really have some fun yeah okay let's start with a remote control light some of the real spider [Laughter] [Music] oh well that one's dead we uh we borrowed every tarantula in New York State all right buddy the rules of the game is simple we're gonna put a spider on you and then every time you move we're gonna put another spider on you oh god guys my spider I mean tarantula I quit the show I can't take tarantulas so my advice to you is yeah play dead don't move yeah so we gave Q the word pumpernickel if things go bad he just yell pumpernickel the whole thing stops but pumpernickel ain't going dude here we go no no no no guys stop stop stop stop pumpernickel stop [Laughter] [Applause] okay oh god here we go kittens that's gotta play like half a pound yeah please stop please stop please stop Q I don't want to alarm you but you got a tarantula on you oh I feel it on me I'm gonna kill everyone is you're all dead oh god can it off me guys's lips are moving in another my god oh my god oh god oh you move your head again buddy what are you doing clearly we did great there buddy that's great guys stop you guys stop hey watch your language buddy it's a family friendly show you guys don't understand I'm gonna get you for this this vengeance in those eyes season six is coming and I'm gonna destroy the three of you you cleared for spiders you did very well and so we'll just have the grand finale now wait it's the one last biggest a leader so please don't do anything else Oh buddy you're almost done no guys I don't like this no no no what is that guys do not put another spider on me guys guys do not do anything else that's not anything else what the we'll see you later today we're here for Sal's punishment and if you notice there's no salmon that's because he's on his way here to what he thinks is a challenge and he'll be getting onto this floor using that elevator the thing is there is no challenge and that is our elevator we control where God allows who gets off when it gets oh here we go he doesn't know with it he's getting punished is next lotion we're taking over real life yeah there's our friends please Sal not a care in the world until right now okay that's nice [Music] this is house worst nightmare he's in a confined box with a sick person you should cover your mouth I'm sorry what do we do what about the emergency button you want to go work on it yeah I got all the guys I'm gonna get in the matter comes our fire department the fire departments on the scene hello longer working on thank you it's okay it's okay what's in the bag just a cat just freaking out you know what just gets freaked out a little bit do you turn around when you cough sorry do you need us to do anything from in here [Laughter] I don't know if I've ever seen her do that can you give us just a little information can you give us any information besides you're with the fire department and it'll be two hours you wouldn't understand wouldn't understand it sorry [Applause] easy stall to realize real I don't know it may be you son of a let's go make some noise [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right so it's Joe's punishment today you might notice he is not with us hmm as it goes we sent him on a wild goose chase today while we post up at his house and prepare his birthday gift it was just his birthday the other day so we decided he needs something really big right now our crew is inside Joe's house helping us get his present ready we're just gonna hang today and wait till he gets here so this is where it says to go I guess that's what we've been driving for my family is trouble my house has been invaded Joey is now pulling up to his house he has no idea what to expect this happy birthday [Laughter] [Music] so my whole house is covered in wrapping paper looting my furniture ha ha all right so the floors gift-wrapped this is insane [Laughter] this is so serious this is a fly ass hey buddy what's up you're probably right so where you wrap my bananas guys Oh guys not the glassware it's like the worst episode of cribs I've ever seen are these all presents anything with bows on it is special like I'd have this up in my home yep yep that's when I had my gout at a urinal this is mallanna's oh god how blocks why you got to go all out cheers to you we know what the great thing is Joe what's that Bell we're just old leaving my house we have one more actual give you for your birthday from the dining room team we do love you this happy birthday happy birthday Joey is a gift wrap cuz I've been meaning to do some updating boys hats off to you this is a good and I can't wait to your birthday this is only one you know what I'm just gonna move so we here at Mahmoud bunt racetrack for punishment we have to do who's go out into the stands and sell concessions to bake them that's right and when they give you their money no matter what you cannot give them any change nice it easy so a lot of people are gonna lose at the tracks today yeah yeah I mean cues really excited about the whole thing you know me I'm Q best friends 26 years [Music] he's on the racetrack Ford which means these people are invested by sure not a patient crowd now some of them just lost a lot of money the outfit is amazing sir look official yeah you look like an official idiot I've gone goldwater me nuts how do you how does a human look like such a dope yeah what he need the penis are 325 okay remember you don't have change the money they give you you keep no matter what and the five will do that guys you need just a minute here let me see it all the races on holy races starting walk away walk away guys peep peanuts popcorn soda peanuts peanuts popcorn soda change those tip now tell me what I'll take the two bags that's your tip whoop I got no tip for you and like the cut of this guy's jib tip for what is your do didn't do anything sir teeny cold water popcorn penis penis that they are 325 you got out of a 10 so just the penis do you want anything else now okay great thank you so much you guys need any uh any popcorn peanuts water nothing I'm sorry yeah you got the peanuts right yeah great my ten yeah yeah we've got the right around the up ends okay yes sir change right no no I'm gonna go top and go right right on [Music] oh there's two you lost them this guy's given up for right now can we get a water a bottle of water sure what do you have you have a fight okay the water is to fit $2.25 so thank you thank you this does anybody need any water ice cold water before there was for the you got you got what the water in there yes there was two dollars right was the water sweet I was on three right it's wrapped excuse me I'm sorry how do you mean it was a tip sheet it she said giving the temperatures waiting Frenchie I just like hard we didn't get our chain back who do I change you do a few things are intense down here - why are you change so who's this guy it's a husband guys you need these cold beverages no now they got a whole guy after him popcorn peanuts she got a husband and the whole family's walking toward you [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] tonight we're here for cous punishment and buddy you'll be getting in touch with your feminine side sir are you gonna be taking part in a panel discussion as an expert amongst other experts on women's issues and all you have to do is respectfully disagree with their ex this is going to hit a nerve run a lot of people yeah so he is going to be grilled in that here's gonna be an ass the erotic things I mean cutest believe any of this stuff women love Q he's a charming guy he's nice he who's brought up right by his mother yes he's a charm his way out of this though here we go do various thank you for attending she the focus of our evening is going to be a panel discussion with three very distinguished guests all of whom have written extensively on women's issues he's already squirted we have Katie Goodman she's a feminist speaker author and activist then we have Rachel Sklar she's the co-founder changed the ratio which increases visibility and opportunity for women in tech in new media and finally we have Brian Quinn who is a social awareness blogger with his award-nominated blog brother of the sisterhood so the moderators helping us do this but Q doesn't know that and needed at the audience there we go it's still not uncommon to hear the phrase that's a man's job and I want to hear your thoughts on that particular phrase Katie what do you think obviously women are being able to prove themselves but it's really hard they don't even have a chance to prove themselves in this man's world because they're not allowed in that's a good well thought out very good but now it's time for Q to give any a veteran sir okay uh there are men jobs and they're women's jobs I mean I think we we all I mean we're not saying that that doesn't exist right I mean you're not we are kind of but it's just like if you pull up to a garage and you got to get like an alternator replaced and there's a woman mechanic the majority of men and women are gonna look at that and be like hey man I'm all for you know women's rights I mean who isn't but I also want my car to run well we're gonna discuss some of the most influential women who you think they are and sort of what gives them that influence Michelle Obama Shonda bronze women can do all sorts of things all right buddy now disagree with that you know these these are you know the Michelle Obama thing I am and she got that cuz she slept with a man I think Michelle Obama is a fantastic wife she wouldn't be in the White House of her husband having gotten I've been very pretty very pretty I'm kidding I don't know how much I can take man Brian actually this next question is for you specifically your blog entitled brother of the sisterhood and a recent excerpt from your blog reads this Q's quote that we wrote if women made as much money as men they would definitely spend it all specifically for their children because they are such loving human beings by nature these emotions often cloud their judgment though making them unstable or irrational can you please explain that quote I think that's true of everybody maybe I didn't make that clear enough I've made a lot of lot of irrational decisions you know if chosen bad friends [Laughter] so I think the point I was trying to make there is just like hey you know these ladies they go through a lot you know Brian do you have any closing remarks if I had boobs I play with them all day are you sure you don't want to make closing remarks see before I know I guess my closing remark is you know if I if I can't leave till you say it oh my god if I had boobs I just be home playing with them all day it's so the fact that you're not is amazing thank everybody that's it okay here we go don't you do the honors there anybody there we go okay ready one two does this place look familiar at all soak it in buddy now do you remember when you dropped tarantulas on me my friends we all did you seem to enjoy it just a little bit more than everybody else don't cut me a pumpernickel pumpernickel stop it's not a cover you were tarantulas we're gonna cover you with kitty cats oh yeah oh yeah but don't worry buddy if you start panicking just say wholewheat you just say it's a safe word buddy tarantulas cannot attack you like a cat can they can't attack you that swiftly they can't bite you they can't scratch who's gonna bite you knock knock who's there catnip oh I do not like this [Music] and the punishment begins now okay let's bring them in what is that oh is that those are five week old kittens but oh god oh god that looks like it it was oh it's now survived phase one all right let's take out the kittens all right bring in the next phase of life phase of life there's one other phase kittens cats here we go bud Oh guys I can't do it wait wait before you do it wait wait wait wait wait please hold me please before you're doing can you just tell them push guys oh my gosh you scare them kitten here's the cat number one [Laughter] is another one - he sends my fear I'm afraid to get a sense how afraid I am oh my god did you say Halloween I come here you said the cat sitting on your mic we can hear you you're 40 years old Saint whole-wheat in the warehouse okay phase three Oh what is that that's a steak steak you got Plexiglas around you is that to keep things in what icky things [Music] [Laughter] let's get over the last cat in here the biggest that best cat that we know please don't don't please this is the Tigers do not let it get in this thing please you don't know what these things do trained you don't even know what would happen to Roy here we go the biggest cat of all oh oh my favorite cat [Laughter] [Laughter] you

Channel: truTV

Views: 17,016,208

Rating: 4.794219 out of 5

Keywords: Impractical Jokers, Impractical Jokers Funniest Moments, Impractical Jokers Season, truTV, IJHD, impractical jokers truTV, practical jokers, jokers, impratical jokers, impractical joker, impractical jokers new, new impractical jokers, impractical, impracticle jokers, impractical jockers, the impractical jokers trutv, impractical jokers Pranks, Sal, Joe, Murr, watch impractical jokers, 200th Episode, tonight, ImpracticalJokers, punishments

Id: Ger6gU_9v9A

Length: 200min 8sec (12008 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 13 2020