Today, we're at Fairway Market, playing one
of our favorite games -- put pocketing,
sneaking pencils onto unsuspecting
shoppers. You don't actually have to
get the pencil in their pocket. As long as it stays on them,
you're good. But the shopper must keep
all your pencils in order for your
score to count. Whoever hides the most
pencils in a customer wins. "In"?
[ Grunts ] [ Laughter ] Where were those?! In. [ Laughter ] All right, fellas, uh, gonna
try something out here. Okay. So, we're gonna
Trojan Horse it. Oh! Wow! This is impressive. But how are you gonna get
an eggplant inside somebody? Oh, I've done it. [ Laughter ] All right. It's a 12-pencil eggplant. It looks like a weapon from
"Mario Brothers" or something. Oh. You got it?
I'll help you. Sorry. You got it? [ Chuckles ]
Start a little avalanche. Q: What's he doing? It started, like,
an avalanche. Wait till the whole
thing fell. [ Laughter ]
[ Ding! ] [ Buzzer ] [ Laughter continues ] The whole thing fell. [ Ding! ]
Got it, yeah. They all -- they all fell.
Oh, there you go. [ Laughs ] No, no. I got it, I got it.
[ Buzzer ] [ Laughter ] No.
[ Laughter continues ] No.
It's an eggplant. [ Ding! ] [ Laughs ] Keep it. It's great. [ Laughter ] [ Buzzer ] [ Laughter continues ] Is that, like, an app
that tells you, like, the price? Oh, no, no. It's shop for the customers, and then somebody
else delivers. So, you shop
for somebody else? Yeah.
That's really cool. Q: This is ballsy! So, this is like an app
that just doesn't -- [ All shouting ] She didn't hear it fall!
It fell! She didn't hear it fall! I will type in stuff,
so... Joe:
How does it work, though? [ All shouting ] Sal: [ Laughs ]
She blocked it! You're basically -- oh, so,
you do a whole shopping cart. [ All shouting ] [ Laughing ] Oh! And what hap-- so, you're
basically shopping for people that don't want to come out
in the cold? Yeah.
That's really cool
that you could just do it. It's so nice.
[ Ding! ] A-And it's just like an app?
It's like a regular app? You're getting cocky!
You're getting cocky! It's really cool. [ Ding! ] Q: [ Laughs ] All right, well,
it was so nice. That's really cool.
Thank you. [ All shouting ] Sal: All right, Joe, you need
one more to beat Murr. [ Laughter, shouting ] Ah, sucker! [ Laughs ]
Sucker! [ Laughter ] Take that wooden bow tie
and shove it up your ass! [ Laughter ] Thank you. [ Ding! ] -Oh!
-Wow! Here we go, Sal.
You ready for this one? [ Both laugh ] It's just a fistful
of noodles. That bottom noodle's
gonna go. -Can somebody --
-Oh! Oh, you're dropping a trail
of noodles. Why are you holding them
like that? You're palming noodles. Don't palm the -- aww. This is the best part of the
whole challenge right now, this moment. You want to come down
and do it? Want to do me
a quick favor? I got to find my wife. It's like an udon noodle. Do me one favor? 'Cause I don't want to lose
my place in line. Could you hold that
for me one sec? Thank you.
-Oh, my God! -I'll be right back.
-No. -Unbelievable.
-I can't believe -- It's unbelievable what people
will do. [ Laughs ] It'll just be --
I-I got her. She's coming right now.
Hang on. So, Sal already won.
Let's have some fun. Let's send over our producer,
Christine, just to add
to the confusion. Murr:
His wife, Christine. Go, "Are those my husband's
noodles?" Excuse me.
Are those my husband's noodles? Yeah. -Oh.
-"I'll take them." -I'll take them.
-Those are your husband's? [ Laughter ] -Babe.
-Oh, there you are. -Thank you.
-I was like, "Where'd you go?" No, I know.
I went to get more, but... Thank you so much, bud.
Thank you. -You got it.
-Good win, buddy. Good win. [ Ding! ] [ Ding! ] Alright, here we go.
You ready, Woody? Tell this guy, "I saw
a woman get born today. It was fascinating." I, uh -- I saw a woman
get born today. It was fascinating! No. No, no, no.
Get born today. I'm guessing nine months ago,
her parents had sex. [ Laughter ] So that was my day so far. Yesterday,
I pickled a toe. Yeah. Ye-- yesterday
was even crazier. I -- I, uh -- I pickled
a -- a human toe yesterday. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. May-- maybe. [ Laughter ] Q, knock on his head. [ Laughter ] Knock knock. Knock knock.
[ Laughter ] Keep doing it.
Keep doing it. Knock knock. Who's there? You don't know
knock-knock jokes? Oh, hi.
How are you doing? Knock on her head. Yeah. [ Laughter ] That's how you make him lose! [ Laughter ] Q: Look at this guy.
Look at this guy. Joe, confuse this place
with a hotel. Find out when the hell that maid's coming
to clean your room. Sal: Just keep going up and down
all the aisles ranting. [ Laughter ] I can't find a bellhop
if my life depended on it! Is anyone going to
bring my luggage?! I ordered a cheeseburger
for my room service, 45 minutes. The spa is supposed
to be on four. Where do I see a spa? [ Laughter ] You call that a pool! Supposed to dip my balls in it? [ Laughter ] Hands down, the worst
hotel experience I ever had. I went down --
I talked to the concierge. He didn't give a [bleep] I ordered room service an hour
and ten minutes ago. They said the spa was on four. They said the sheets
were Egyptian cotton. [ Laughter ] Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm on a TV show, yeah. Oh, not now.
We start next week. We start filming next week.
I can't wait. [ Laughter ] Did your room service come? -Yeah, I am.
-Aww. Oh, my God. Hi. Did he just -- -Kiss her again, Joe.
-Kiss her again. Just keep kissing her.
[ Ding! ] [ Laughter ]
[ Ding! ] This family's recognizing you. Go kiss them all. [ Laughter ] Joseph.
What's your name? Aww, Debbie. Debbie, good to see you. Hi, buddy. Yes, of course. You're like
Richard Dawson. -Can I have a picture, too?
-Kiss her. Kiss her, kiss her,
kiss her. [ Ding! ]
What was your name? [ Ding! ] You want a selfie,
take a selfie, buddy. Go ahead. Take it.
Yeah, go ahead. Say "cheese." Yeah. [ Laughter ] Why do you keep
kissing me? Are they telling you to keep
kissing me? Is that it? No, we don't start filming
till next week. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ]
[ Ding! ] ♪♪ What happened
to your knee? Achilles? Achilles is a tough one. -Yeah.
-Yeah. You look like the kind
of guy that, um... Breathes through his mouth
during a bath. ...that -- that --
that -- that -- that breathes through
his mouth during a bath. [ Laughs ]
What do you mean? [ Laughter ] You know, there's a type
of people that, you know, when they take a bath,
they just relax and they breathe through
their nose and calm down. You look like, uh, you know,
a mouth breather when you bathe. Would you agree that
you're that type of person? No. [ Laughter ] Oh, here.
Here we go. Sir. Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
You're the type of guy... Who has three nipples
but only uses one. [ Sighs ] [ Laughter ] -Look at his face!
-Totally in awe. Ma'am...
You're the type of girl... Who has three nipples,
but only uses one. [ Sighs ] [ Laughter ] Sir, I got to tell you,
you're the type of guy... 'Scuse me!
'Scuse me! Who has three nipples,
but only uses one. [ Sighs ] [ Laughter ] -Look at the look on his face!
-He has no idea! [ Laughing ]
Come on, guys. All right.
You got one more shot, buddy. Fine. Fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine. Ma'am, I got to tell you,
you are the type of woman... Who has a regular
amount of nipples. [ Sighs ] Bye-bye! [ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ] All right, boys. Sal's up.
Q: All right. We know no one's doing this,
right? You're a Negative Nancy,
bro. What person
in their right mind is going to take
a gallon of milk and throw it onto the floor
because I -- You've been saying this
all day, bud. Somebody will
smash milk. Let the audience
look behind the curtain. This came across the desk,
and I said, "I don't think
it's gonna work, and we're gonna be
in the supermarket all day." You don't have a desk.
Where were you sitting? Yeah,
whose desk were you at? Oh, hey, dear. How you doing?
Oh, here we go. Here we go. What is your name? Let me ask you something,
Lucy. Mm-hmm. Come over here. Q:
She looks like Deadpool. She looks like Deadpool,
like a little mini Deadpool. Lucy. See this? Joe: "I want you to let out
the bad boy that's inside that
bad-boy body of yours." I'm -- I'm gonna give you
the milk. I want you to throw it
on the floor and break it. Let the bad boy out that's
in that bad-boy body of yours. You know
what I'm talking about. This is gonna
give me overtime. Q: Oh! Oh, my God,
she's gonna do it? Okay,
push this right here. Oh, believable.
Oh, yeah. Oh [bleep]
she's method acting!
She's getting into character! Y-You're welcome.
Thank you. Thank you.
Don't worry about it. Oh, my God! She's acting. [ Cheering ] My God! Lucy!
Miss, I -- He didn't think
that anybody was gonna do it. I cannot believe it.
The first person.
All day -- the first person. One for one, baby. One for one. Wow.
What?! ♪♪ Murr:
Alright, Joseph.
Q: Joey Gat. On his last day
of work. What's the matter,
buddy? You heard? No.
Yeah. Why? Today I think's gonna be
my last day here. "I just want to let you know
it's been a pleasure serving you these past 10 years." It's been a pleasure serving you
for the past 10 years. This store
is not open 10 years. No, I mean
with the company. [ Laughter ] Well, I had to -- I had to quit.
I mean, it's been... "They're making me wear gloves
now when I clean the turlets." They're trying to me wear gloves
when I clean the turlets. Oh. It's not --
I don't want to wear gloves. I want to get in -- like,
at home, you know, you clean. Yeah. You know how it is when you
get in there and clean, right? So they said, "You either wear the gloves,
or you have to quit," and I said,
"I'm a man of principle. You're forcing my hand." Yeah.
[ Laughter ] So I should quit,
right? I should quit. Well, I think
it's for your health. My health? Well, if you're --
if there's something in there... Yeah.
...and you touch your face or your mouth
or something... That's why... "I've had pink eye
for seven years." Maybe that's why I have
chronic pink eye. Yeah. So I shouldn't quit.
I don't think
you should quit. Okay.
Q: Oh! You could not get someone
to agree. And make sure that you wash the
fruit when you get home, hon. I will. Great. [ Buzzer ] Hey, sir, you need any help
with anything? Alright. Yeah, I asked
only 'cause it's my last day. I'm quitting today, so, if you
want any help with anything, I'm on my --
I'm on my way out the door. Yeah,
here's the thing. Let me ask your opinion on it,
actually, if you don't mind. "Tobey Maguire
shops here, and I don't want him to know
what I do for work." [ Laughter ] Tobey Maguire shops here. Yeah, and I don't
want him to see where I work. You know
what I'm saying?
Yeah. I don't want Tobey Maguire,
of all people, coming in here, looking at me, and being like,
"Hey, I'm Spider-Man, and -- and -- and you're this dope
in a suit working here." Can't get big-timed
by Tobey. Every time I come to work,
Tobey Maguire's big-timing me. I know he made millions
of dollars on "Spider-Man." But that gives him the right
to come in here and look at me
like I'm a bad guy? Sal:
Looks like a lunatic. I'm not a villain.
I-I don't -- I don't inject myself
with crazy goblin stuff to take over
Times Square. He's gonna come here
and judge me? Right? What do you think? Should I quit? [ Laughter ] I think I'm getting worked up.
Should I quit? I should quit? Murr: Yes?!
Thank you. Thank you very much. [ Laughter ] I should quit. Wow,
that was tough. So here we have kinder,
gentler Sal and Murr. Yes. That's right.
Their relationship's somewhat
improved this season. Our relationship
has thawed a little bit. Thawed.
Yes. It's not as frozen cold
as it once was. Can I borrow
the chapstick?
Never. [ Laughter ] Some things never change. Yes,
would you like to try any? Oh, we have so many different
things from local places. Come on around.
Joe:
All right, here we go. Samples I give you are
going to be the best
ones you ever have. I promise you.
Okay. I'm gonna start you off
with the fresh mozzarella dipped in
a little olive oil.
Delicious. Q: Oh, Murr,
it's on you, buddy. This is a sharp cheddar,
locally made, delicious. Farm in Jersey. Don't fill up on that,
though. One bite just
so you can taste it 'cause I want you
to taste the difference between that cheese
and this cheese. So just one bite each. [ Laughter ] Q:
Oh, it's back to Murray. It is, right?
That one's better.
Okay. If you like that one,
you are going to love -- This is a white cheddar. Try that.
Again, made locally.
It's mild, though. [ Laughter ] Delicious.
This is Spanish olive with a little
bleu cheese stuffing. If you've never tried it,
I would like you to try it, too. Joe: Sal, nice. Murr's up. Yeah.
Q:
Olive with the bleu cheese. Speaking of which,
I happen to have one more. Come on,
you're shopping. There you go.
You're gonna ruin
your appetite. You don't need that.
You can put it right there. Now,
we're even, even, even. Don't feel forced, ma'am,
don't feel forced. No, no, no. Up your ass
and to the left. It's up your ass
and to the left! It's -- It's...up your ass
and to the left. [ Laughter ] It's, uh, straight up your ass
and to the left. [ Laughter ] We call that aisle
"up your --" [ Laughter ] Q: All right,
let's get back to work. OH, we don't want to keep you
if you have to get going. Joe: [ Laughs ]
Q: Nice try, Murr. These are vegetable chips, and they're made
with pure peanut oil. Joe: Oh, my God,
she's in for a veggie chip. Sal: Oh, yeah.
You don't have to try
that one. [ Laughter ] This is unbelievable. The only thing
better than that is chocolate-covered
pretzels. Q: Uh-oh. Oh, you don't want this?
Joe: Ah! You're in this deep.
You might as well just try it. [ Laughter ] Joe: You're out! They draw the line
at the chocolate pretzel? They ate 47 items. [ Laughter ] [ Ding! ]
Q: Wow. Coming up behind you. I have to get something
besides the toilet paper. [ Laughs ] I got the toilet paper
for this evening to get me through to 7:00 a.m.
I live alone. [ Laughter ] 'Cause it's
Mexican night. He has theme nights
for himself. [ Laughter ] What else did I need?
I got toilet paper. What else did I need? [ Laughter ] -Uh-oh.
-Here we go. Ready? Q:
Joe's got the advantage. Murr: Here you go.
There you go. There's two. -Ahh.
-Ahh. Sal: Murray's up 2-1. -That's the end of Joe. Ohh!
-2-2, 3-2. -3-3! 4-3.
-Nice and easy. [ Laughs ] 5-3. -Oh, movement!
-6-4. -6-5.
-Oh, come on. 7-5.
Joe: I'm draining 'em. [ Chuckling ] Yeah. Well, move your [bleep] then.
Move it! [ Laughter ] Oh, this is super-easy now
for me. Aah! Trying to knock
the wig off him. [ Laughter ] -Oh, that was just --
-That was a -- -That was a drubbing.
-You got beat by the hair. Ooh. You got to pay
for all that now. You got to pay
for all those. Don't try to get out of here
for free with them. Well, you should have
moved it closer. If I won, you could
have kept them! I don't even work here. I'm just
shooting in strangers' carts. You pay for those
toilet papers! [ Buzzer ] Murr: Q. Huh?
-Yeah, you look good. You look ready. You got tape? [ Laughter ] Nailed it, Murr! Excuse me.
Yeah? I've been kind of, uh,
out of touch for, like,
about seven years now. I haven't really been
out and about. I've kind of been...
All right. ...locked away. Weird way to start
a conversation with a stranger. So, my question
is string cheese... Is that really a thing? I come out.
Joe: There goes Murr! And they're telling me
that Jell-O now has a lemon meringue pie. I just feel like
what -- what have I missed
in the past five years? Like, I'm trying to get,
like... Why would you try to wrap
the whole cart? ...a general consensus
about what I missed in the last five years! [ Laughter ] I mean, they're up
to an iPhone 9 now? Time moves on. Yeah, it doesn't move
fast enough, if you know what I mean. [ Laughs ] I mean, I have no basis
of comparison because I have not wrapped
anything yet. But it feels like
Murray's terrible. These are lime flavored?! [ Laughs ] And what's going
on here now? Extra creamy?! [ Laughter ] I mean, I'm blown away
by the world today! I got other questions!
There you go! Hey.
Happy Holidays, bro. A whole cart? I was getting close.
Getting close? I was talking to the poor guy
for 10 minutes! Murray, you should try to be
a little bit more successful and enjoyable to watch. [ Laughter ] Hi. Are you shopping
for fruit and shit? -Yeah.
-Okay, great. So, we're doing a thing today
where I follow people around who are shopping produce and we'll give them 10% off
their entire purchase. Q: "It's not invasive." It's a non-invasive
procedure. -Well, I wouldn't let you.
-Yeah, you wouldn't let me. [ Laughter ] -Okay, and what was your name?
-Ria. Ria. I'm Joe.
Nice to see you. -"I'm not weird, okay?"
-I'm not weird, okay? [ Laughter ] You're looking for
organic fruits. Okay, so that's
important to you. "So, Ria, have you ever
gone over to the Galleria?" Have you ever gone down to the
Galleria down the road? No. Sal: "Oh, they have
a great pizzeria." -Great pizzeria.
-"And they also have... And they also have...
a salumeria." ...a salumeria where
you get sandwiches. "You can eat it all
in the cafeteria." You can eat it all
in the cafeteria. [ Laughter ] Sal: Joe, take
the watermelon from her. Try to break it over your knee
just to see if it was ripe. This watermelon?
Okay. Can I talk to you about
your selection real quick? He's gonna break
his knee. -You didn't tell me what --
-Yeah, this one doesn't. No, this one's...
This isn't -- -There we go. See?
-Whoa! He cracked it open. Now, if you look,
this one's no good. Start scooping it out
with your hand and then just putting it
in your mouth. Really, you know what?
You could see the inside there. [ Laughter ] "I was way off.
This watermelon is from God." [ Laughter ] This is outrageous,
this thing. This is like straight
from God, this thing. "I'm not weird, okay?" And I'm not weird, okay? [ Laughter ] [ Ding! ] Murr: Here's our ballers. [ Laughter ] Stretch it out. Who's your money on?
My money's on Joe. Joe?
Yeah. No-look. He got it in?! Whoa! This is my game, boys. [ Buzzer ] Sal! You suck! Oh, here we go! She's in the field!
She's in the field! She's in play!
Ohh! 1! Oh!
There we go! 2! Oh, and here Joe goes! Ohh! What the hell? Ohh!
She batted it! Ohh! Joe's in!
Sal answers! Joe returns it! Sal!
You're getting blocked! Joe's just dropping 'em in! Sal, you can't keep up! [ Laughter ] Last shot, Sal!
Last shot, Sal! There you go --
right that way. Ohhh!
Ohh! Joe: So, Q's lunch got delivered
before he took the floor.
Sal: Yep. He decided to take the floor
with a burrito. You don't want to skip
a meal, Q. [ Laughs ] Do you know anything
about grapes? [ Laughter ] Yeah? Can you do that?
I'm already in trouble here 'cause the security guard here
hates my guts... Joe:
There you go. Nice. ...because
he's always pissed that I'm eating burritos
in the store. [ Laughter ]
What is your name? I'm sorry.
Brian. I got a -- Brian Quinn.
Very nice to meet you. If you see the security guard,
could you do me a favor? Yeah, I'm looking
and I'm covering you. Just -- yeah, cover me.
Just scream out, uh... "I'm not saying
she's a gold digger." Just scream out,
like, a code, like, "I'm not saying
she's a gold digger." When I hear that,
I'll know to run, all right? Okay, great.
Thank you. Thank you.
-He might get this. Okay, send in
the security guard. Here comes Terry. How you doing, sir?
Things okay over here? -Yeah.
-Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Are you good?
Everything's okay? [ Laughter ] Sal:
Didn't even blink. Didn't even care
that he was security. Didn't say anything,
didn't look at him. Those were good.
Those were good. What's that? I don't understand.
You got to say the code word. -Oh.
-What's the code word? Hey! I told you about eating
that [bleep] in here! Come here! I'm gonna smack that god damn
burrito out your hand! -What's the code word?
-Come here! Q: The gold digger line! I'm gonna smack that burrito
out your hand! I'm not saying
she's a gold digger! Joe:
He's just watching. The guy literally just watched
the whole thing in silence as he sampled grapes. [ Buzzer ] That's it.
You lost. [ Laughter ] I'm 43. I would say...57. Get out of here! No! Really?
You on YouTube? A superhuman athlete? New York,
High Bar Club gymnastics. -There he is.
-There I am. -Whoa.
-Wait. I'm going in. I was an Olympic hopeful
in gymnastics, got three consecutive
national championships... [Bleep].
Dave Jacobs. Holy cow, man.
Can I shake your hand? Certainly.
Who are you? Superhuman athlete.
Oh, my God. I've seen you on YouTube.
Holy [bleep]. That's amazing.
Are you kidding me?
Is this a put-on? [ Laughing ] No, it's not.
I don't know who he is. No, I saw you
at that New York... I just played it
for him. No. Come on. -Ask him.
-Stop pulling my leg. I'll be right back. I have never met anyone
that saw it on their own. -That's amazing.
-What happened was... -Yeah.
-...the security guard... -Ah, ha, ha!
-He let you eat that in here? No. He was my lookout guy.
We had a miscommunication. I ended up running
all over the place. -Yeah.
-Yes? Are you kidding me?
Are you Dave Jacobs? -What's going on today?
-Are you kidding me right now? [ Laughing ] I'll be back.
I'll be back. he said he didn't know him.
He told him about him. Dave Jacobs?
Are you kidding me? -I feel like an idiot now.
-I can't believe this! -Is this a put-on?
-I swear, it's him. -Mr. Jacobs, my wife...
-Dave Jacobs. -I can't believe any of this!
-...in the flesh. This is him. Would you mind if I take
a selfie with you? Oh, my God. Can we --
Do you guys
want to get in here? -Sure.
-I'll send it to everybody. I cannot believe it. My wife has the same birthday
as you. All right.
Say, "Dave Jacobs." -One, two, three.
-Dave Jacobs! [ Camera shutter clicks ] Find everything
you needed today? Yeah. Okay. Murr, "your hat's crooked." Oh, geez. ♪♪ Y- -Your hat's crooked.
-Your hat's crooked. [ Laughter ] [Bleep] hat's crooked. All right.
Just helping you out. There you go.
Looks good. Now you look like
a gentleman. [ Laughter ] Good, how are you? Credit or debit? Get turned on when
she swipes it. Oh, yeah. [ Laughter ] Could you swipe it
one more time? -Swipe it again, please.
-Swipe it again, please. [ Moans ] [ Laughter ] One more time.
One more time. You have to swipe it
one more time. Swipe it one more time. Just swipe it for us. Yeah, thanks. -Ahh.
-Ahh. [ Laughter ] What's it say? Enter --
okay, yeah, so hit enter. "I'll give you 5 bucks to
swipe it one more time." I'll, uh, I'll give you 5 bucks
to swipe it one more time. -Ohhh!
-Ohhh! Thank you. Anybody got a cigarette?
Line 2. [ Laughter ] Q: Oh, what are those? Cocoa Krispies. Rip 'em open.
Pour 'em into your mouth. Oh, come on. [ Laughter ] Just turn the box over so they
just pour over your face. [ Laughter ] Joe: Good? [ Muffled ]
They're great. Now pour some milk in there. What's cereal without milk,
buddy? All right. He's got to wash it down. [ Laughter ] Just bag it, Joe. Joe, start scooping up
the individual grains. [ Laughs ] Just give me a minute. Tell Murr that only you bag. I bag. You don't see me come over there
and push your buttons. I bag.
This is all I got. [ Laughter ] I appreciate
your patience. Did you want the receipt
in the bag? I bag. [ Laughter ] Okay, watch this,
watch this. Here we go.
Ready, guys? "Wow, the Godfather of Soul
right in our aisle." No. No way! Wow! You are a lovely lady. [ Laughter ] Damn it.
We got through so much. [ Laughter ] [ Buzzer ] ♪♪ Dude, could you...
do me a solid? My -- My, uh... My buddy's down that aisle. See that guy
in the pink shirt? He has no idea
I'm here in the store. He has no clue. Can you shout out his nickname
down the aisle? "One-Ball Barry." You got to shout. His nickname is
"One-Ball Barry." [ Laughter ] Just call him, "Yo!"
So, "Hey, One-Ball Barry!" Hey, One-Ball Barry! [ Laughter ] Joe: He didn't even hear
his name called. Thanks, buddy.
Appreciate it. Oh, my God, guys,
you're killing me. -The guy walked away.
-Oh, now he's going. Hey! Barry! [ Laughter ] Lookit, they're acting
for no one. Why do you say that? I mean, I could call you
"Billiard Ball," you know? -I don't do it, you know?
-He's gone rogue! I'm sorry I called you
that nickname. -Here's the thing...
-Yeah. ...it's "No-Ball Barry." No-Ball Barry. [ Light laughter ] [ Laughter and applause ] [ Laughter continues ] Sal: The mark has left. One-Ball Barry does not have
a grasp on what this show is. Yeah. See ya. [ Laughter and applause ] Joe: Why are you even still
standing there, Murr? The bit's over! [ Laughter and applause ]
[ Ding! ] Murr: All right, Joey. Yeah, I should --
I should pay for that for you. [ Laughs ]
Really, oh, you sure? Yeah, yeah, I should.
Why? "'Cause want to show you
that I can be a good provider." 'Cause I --
'Cause I want to show you that I could be
a good provider. That would mean
we're good, right? Good?
[ Laughter ] Who provided? All right, fair enough.
Fair enough. Come on, here we go. All right, the lady behind you.
Lady behind you. You know, is this yours? I should get this for you. I'll just get it for you.
-Nah. No, I should get it for you.
No, it's okay. -No, sure, I should.
-Why? "I'm flush with cash on account
of my grandpa's murder." [ Laughter ]
You know --
[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I'm flush with -- I'm flush with cash on account
of my grandpa's murder. Oh.
Yeah. [ Laughter ] So, I mean, I'm just --
I'm doing the right thing. "Somebody killed
the old coot, really." Yeah, yeah, somebody killed
the old coot. It's fine. No further questions.
We're all set? Yeah.
Great. [ Laughter ] I don't want to say
it's you guys, but I'm at 100%
after all that pastry. [ Laughter ] Oh, my God! This is shrimp! You see this? Shrimp in the store?
Yeah, that's crazy. They got
a whole cooler of shrimp! Murr, you're not
buying shrimp. The crazy thing is,
I'm actually not supposed to be shopping here anymore. My ex-girlfriend dates
the security guard that's here. Oh. All right. That's a good
reason to stay away from him. And whenever I come
shopping here, he threatened me
a couple times. 'Cause he's dating my bae now,
and she's my ex-bae and I don't want to
get involved with it. Do me a favor. If you see the
security guy coming around... No, you got to signal me so I know not to come
out of that aisle. Yell something out that'll -- She's coming up
with her own words. No. Yell like...
"Mama got a donkey." Mama got a donkey.
Or something like that. No, I know.
Just for a minute. I'm gonna run down
and get some detergent. I'll be right back. Murr, stop getting shrimp
and just go. Yeah, go.
Thank you so much. I'm gonna get
the detergent, guys. Okay. Yell it a few times so I
hear it in case he comes out. Okay. All right.
Here comes security. But the problem is, she's face
first in that self-serve shrimp. Here she goes! [ Laughter ] What the [bleep] What?! Mama got a donkey! Mama got a donkey! What are people doing
with their life? I'm robbing a bank
with that lady. [ Ding! ] The shrimps... I'm on the fence
with the kind of shrimp. I'm trying to get
through quick. I'm trying to figure out which
one's the best for fra diavolo. They do a good sale here. I got to be careful,
though. "I got to be careful around
here" he says, with no preamble. The security guard. Here.
I married his ex-girlfriend. So he doesn't like
seeing me around here. But the deals here are great. If you see the security
guard, do me a favor. Could you just yell...
-"Fat-nosed Frankie." Yell "Fat-nosed Frankie" so I know that he's coming,
and I'll run. If you see him --
the security guard. Blue security jacket. Fat-nosed Frankie.
My name's Joe. So, Fat-nosed Frankie. All right. I'll see
you in a minute. Q: Send him in quick.
Murr: Quick, quick, quick! Go get her, go get her!
There he goes. Oh, my God!
Uh-oh! Here we go! Ohh! No good! Ahh. She's coming your way!
She's coming your way! She's back. She's back! You didn't see him? No, no. I didn't see him.
Black guy in a jacket. It's a security one.
Fat-nosed Frankie. Make sure you yell it loud. Q: There he is!
There he is! Oh, it's Fat-nosed Frankie! [ Laughter ] Wow! Put me in a headlock,
put me in a headlock. I told her she doesn't
want to marry you. She didn't want
to marry you. But the shrimp is on sale! [ Ding! ]
I watched that entire video. Forgot how much I love those guys. Thanks OP 😂😂😂
Thanks for the laugh this morning!!! 😂🤣😂
Thank you for the laughs this morning. Much appreciated.