Oh, revenge is sweet my friends The open mockery
I received from you guys in the form of a play is coming back to bite you
on the behinds today. I heard you were
a great fireman. No.
I'm an actor on television. [ Laughter ] Are we gonna do a musical? You're not doing a musical. I figured the only way
to teach you guys what it means
to be a fireman is to put you through
the fire academy. I have selected for each of you
yo Is this healthy? Breathe it in, boys! My hands are already dirty! It's the smell of pride! Do you have any wet "naps"? Let's just get this started. All right, boys. One of the most important things
you can do with a fire is vent the roof. You cut a hole in that roof, all that heat and noxious gases
just goes right up. Very important. all that heat and noxious gases
just goes right up. are going to attempt
to vent a roof today. Okay. Now, because we're friends
and because I love you, I'm going to allow you to pick which hole
you want to cut, Joe. Okay. Does it matter?
Is there a difference? All right,
show Joe his options, please. My wife and the dogs? That's one option. Let's see door number two,
please. Well, there's your daughter,
Joe, so... [ Laughter ] Murr: Look at her face. You can't put an ax
through that face. It's a "Jophie's Choice." [ Laughter ] It's like
do you burn down the factory, or do you throw out
the bad product?
I don't know which. 'Cause I could always make
another one of these with this. [ Laughter ] Come on, Joe.
Heat's building right? Q: No. She remembers everything,
so I'm just gonna go... [ Laughter ] Oh, my God. From this angle,
it's not as easy. [ Laughter ] She's looking
right in my face! Q: Come on, buddy!
Fire's building! She's not gonna have eyes
in two seconds. No! No! I can't watch. Oh, my God. Come on! Get it up! Oh! I'm sorry!
There's men dying inside! -Come on.
-There's men dying! -Yeah! Vent that building!
-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! You don't have to
do it right between
the eyes every time! You could have done, like,
by the side, by the stroller. Now you're making me look like
a bad father. [ Laughter ] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They're making me do it. It's a stupid show. I don't mean it. I love you with all my heart.
I'm sorry. Oh, oh [bleep] [ Laughter ] n down. Well, Murr's up. Yeah, literally. [ Laughter ] Murray! You still
afraid of heights? Murr: Yes. All right,
well, you got to rappel down the side of the building,
my friend. If I just tell you now
I respect you, is that enough? No, you can tell me
when you get down. Oh, my God! This is not good, Q.
I can't do it. No, Murr,
it was a funny play, though, you made me sing
in front of the firehouse. It was funny. Is this tight?
Is this tied? Let go. , buddy. [Bleep] me. Sal:
Dude, just walk down, pal. Joe: Walk down. -Oh, my God!
-Oh! He lost a boot! He lost... My boot fell! Aah! No, get off me! [ s Sloppy Joe! -Sloppy Joe! -Sloppy Joe.
-You got it! No! Aah! Aah! [ Screaming ] Stop squirting me! This is not funny! Oh, yeah, this is also revenge for the time you made me
eat the back of my Jeep. Murr: Oh! It's Fat Crow?! Q: It's Fat Crow!
He came to save the day! Fat Crow! What's up, buddy? Thanks, Fat Crow. [ Laughter ] Who is this? No! No! No! Get away from my ass!
[Bleep] It's the doctor
who gave Murr a prostate exam. No! No! Get away! Quick feet, Murr!
Quick feet! I don't need it! Watch your ass, Murr! Murr:
My -- Get away from my ass! [ Laughter ] He's got him like some
sort of perverted piñata. [ Breathing heavily ] [Bleep] me. All right,
very proud of you boys so far. Joe:
We're Doing great, huh? Then there was one. Ready for this, Sal? Yeah. Oh! Sal! Sal, my cat's
stuck in a tree! You have to save her! It's like that, huh? [ Laughter ] Oh! He runs!
He runs into action! Joe: Of course
he's chasing after that! Wow! Please,
you have to save Fluffy.
Murr: Oh, no! Oh, no! A cat in a tree! Oh [bleep] [ Laughter ] Woman: Please! Murr: Ah!
It's a cat in here? Well,
that's a good question. What's this right here? Oh! No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no!
-Genius Genius. Sal: [ Laughs ] Ohh. Murr: What?
The cat is gonna burn. Joe: This is six stories. Murr: What?
The cat is gonna burn. It was a funny play
you guys wrote about me. Q: There you go. All right, you ready, buddy? Joe: Here we go, Sal. Murr: Come on You can do it! Hey, I'm Brian.
Very nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you for
the help today. I'm a real fireman. Really?
Yeah. Cool.
I know. Here he goes. Don't stop. Don't look down. -I c-- I can't do this.
-Hold the ladder. -That's it. Yeah.
-That's where you hold. -Right there. Hold.
-I know, but I can't do it. Sal: Guys, I-I can't do it. Q: Just the rungs. lesson. You want to get down?
Get down! What are you gonna do
right now? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -Aah!
-Son of a bitch. Joe:
Sal, why didn't you go?! Murr: Why couldn't you climb
the damn ladder?! What the [bleep] is going on? Buddy,
I didn't think you were really gonna be able
to do this. You didn't? Yeah, I just wanted to teach you
a little bit about respect. It ain't easy getting a cat
out of a tree, is it? [ Laughter ] No. [ All screaming ] Aah! You... Ow! Ow! -All right! All right!
-All right! All right! -We -- We respect you!
-We respect you! -That could be the start of it.
-Thank you! That's all I wanted boys.
