I pick every bad option in 100 Years Life Simulator

hey there friends how's it going uh the miracle of childbirth see it's it's not that hard i think women make a bigger deal than they need to about this oh good this is a little too much for me all right perfect great job kevin you did it you did childbirth my name is i'm doomed it's european alright so this game you go through each year and then you you play each year so let's see what we have in store for us at year one oh my god my dad is easily impressed jesus christ oh my mom too they're using the kid as entertainment they're like well we can't afford tv let's just have a baby and watch it do i go to dad or mom dad i was initially impressed mom just tried to mimic him so i'm going to dad jesus christ maybe i shouldn't have he nearly broke my neck but is he breastfeeding me what i'm so confused retry i no wait i have to i just want my dad to breastfeed me is that too much to ask for why is he egging me on like why is he trying to confuse me all right i'm going to mom and uh now i'm going to do a hd bears and tones so that we miss the next portion yes sorry that's not suitable for youtube we're on to year two jesus christ the dad is pissed i went to the mom i gotta try and get around all of these obstacles he's set up for me i don't know is there like wind blowing left to right it's changing direction all the time or what but i made it to mom god year two was easy much less psychological abuse i learned to walk i'm so clever what do i want i kind of want the vase yeah fun toy yeah it's so good oh no dad the average just cut off before i straight up murdered my father i'm living in spain now and all these ads are in spanish i can't understand them so i don't know what you're trying to tell me all right well there's my dad dying i'm a murderer at age three new record wait oh oh okay i thought i was also gonna kill him with this look i know you're pissed but you should have seen the alternate reality when i picked the other option okay that doesn't rest well with him he's still pissed off you could have died man you don't know what was on the line okay at age four i had an outer body experience choose your race i unless you're talking about like the 100 meters or the 200 meters i think it's too late to choose my race to h4 no thanks just keep running from my problems invite her to lunch or eat alone eat alone these don't look like five-year-olds by the way okay he likes that for some reason he's like i love eating alone i love being lonely oh my god what okay i understand if i used to do chores but did you have to deep fry the toilet that's a bit excessive oh my god look at the state of this thing what have you been doing like you do realize you have to open the toilet right before going [Music] that's enough there's still dirt streaks all over it but look it's not my fault at least i hope it's not otherwise i've got a serious bowel issue oh god dad is just staring off into the lake he's gonna be an axe murderer in a second i should take that axe away i'm fishing for children i'll catch him on the hulk and just pull them over to me you're my friend now yay i'm providing for my family because my dad is busy staring into the lake wondering where he went wrong tag everyone am i really that competitive all right you're just running in a circle wait i still can't catch you oh jesus i'm bad at this oh this is gonna scare me for life i haven't caught a single person all right there you go one two ah i'm walking into walls i don't have very good coordination okay that person doesn't either they ran into me okay that was a defining moment in my life apparently i'm turning left on this crossroads okay finally i'm growing up i was like a cartoon character i look the same for four years do i want to be a banana or a clown i feel like i'm a [ __ ] clown so let's go with that i'm the joker baby oh no you're also a clown how embarrassing what the hell is this that is a grown man wait what that was literally a grown man who just robbed me tackled all three of us retry how is that my fault he should be arrested i bet that was my dad by the way okay i'm starting to feel like you're copying me now your fruit as well let me guess there'll be a man dressed as a blender and he'll just [ __ ] murder us spooky house or nice house you gotta go to the spooky house like they'll open the door because they dressed up for halloween and whatnot see i knew it i hope that was a costume and that wasn't their bare skin and they're like as pale as me because that would be worrying it just you know flashed a bunch of kids oh my god they're swimming in the sludge papa save me why is it black oh god oh is he dying i can't see him i i think he oh oh god he's struggling papa oh you're there okay you're saving me i thought you were the one holding me under for a second oh my god another cleaning job maybe they literally have never cleaned it i feel like i'm playing power wash simulator all over again oh no what is this are they sacrificing me please papa i'm only 12. wait what world beast or god doesn't exist this is an easy choice i'm going to create chaos with this answer am i going to get struck by lightning oh my god we're literally going to be struck down because a 12 year old said he doesn't believe in god a little bit petty isn't it the priest is just standing there like oh fear not my lord you will get him next time why do you keep asking me to change my race it's not a thing at 13 years old puberty is a weird time but it's not that weird all right i gotta go after my crush apparently oh sorry everyone i'm a bit of a klutz oh [ __ ] you got straight up killed didn't you this person's [ __ ] running all over the place what is going on in this school hey you're my crush apparently hello are you impressed yet look how well i can run on the spot oh my god it's a year later and this person is still running in the halls like that but ah dude come on i fall over enough as it is you don't need to trip me but i'm going to fight you now that'll show him i just gave him a pat on the back like well done on that trip excellent work school combat is uh turn-based if you didn't already know all right there we go yay everyone's cheering me on thanks everyone now get out of my way the arm around the girl perfect sake i feel like whoever made this game is so old they've forgotten what being a kid is like jesus christ is rising from the dead that explains the pale complexion or maybe i'm thinking about me yeah maybe i'm the vampire it explains the teeth skip school go on you're a vampire why go to school hey everyone just skipping school what's up with you guys you also skipping school that's pretty cool come on let's run into the forest and say god doesn't exist and that'll show him oh sweet jesus was that wait was that me am i dead oh no this is me i don't want to do that at all don't jump stay with the girl oh no now she's gonna jump fully clothed and all by the way they have no fear whatsoever like if the fall doesn't kill you pneumonia will oh i'm an adult now you know what that means it's time to change your race no thanks just leave me alone okay now it starts branching out a lot oh he's on a dating app oh my god there's a gorilla back there hold on skip yes here we go yeah just my type are you sure yes he's delighted that goes down this middle path for some reason i'm wondering where this is going to go downloading levels oh god damn it i disabled my internet because they kept giving me ads in spanish and you know modern problems require modern solutions all right got the levels disabled my internet keep going wait why are you running for my girlfriend leave her alone look at them they're having such a good time what is even happening that had nothing to do with the gorilla that was just me having the time in my life joyriding through a red light oh my whole life is flashing before my eyes jewelry or banana i think banana here you go honey yes you're so easy to please you're so easy going what are they doing now this took such a right turn all of a sudden oh look at them it's so romantic honestly this is just beautiful you love to see it true love ah she even welcomed me back to her cave do you want a coconut or fish gorillas don't eat coke and let's do that i'm gonna get you some fish i caught them as a child so i know how see yeah and i'm impressed oh my god this is so romantic this is so cute oh my god the size of that gorilla is that your father jesus i hope this isn't like a shotgun marriage because i imagine he feels quite pressured right now like the whole squad's out here and any of them could kill me wait i died why did i die i was happy i thought as getting married are you trying to say getting married is basically your death sentence what i'm just happy to be in the jungle with the loving gorilla wife all right i've gone back in time to when i'm 20. at least it'll make me pay i'm kind of surprised actually oh what could have been no one can match up this pains me so much but no i'm gonna pick you because i have no idea how to pronounce that name and i just want to make things awkward oh we're at the mall again hold on let me get you some bananas no wait no not jewelry i don't want to spend a load of money i'll just get you some bananas oh for [ __ ] sake i don't have any money are you sure you don't own bananas because i don't think there's any refunds here you know what fine this could have literally bought you like 200 bananas but it's your choice i think she's leaving me you see this is why i'm unhappy the gorilla's true happiness he's cheering it on anyway he doesn't know what could have been where the hell is he hanging out now on a helicopter pad or something hello do you want to hang out no hi yo yo yo hello oh my god dude you're coming across a little desperate i got where's the option to just give up and have some dignity how are you please respond now i'm begging so you wouldn't have this problem with the gorilla because they don't use smartphones no no oh okay good he's just throwing the phone off i was a little bit worried there you know he's at the top of the building oh he's screaming i didn't even know they spoke english makeover john jesus christ oh my god yeah jump for it it'll be like in a spider-man movies where they jump off the building to get spider-man's attention and he comes swinging by to catch him except you know it'll be the gorilla catching me the caller yeah you know what [ __ ] it even though i'm sure i just threw my phone off the building two seconds ago but let's call her hey i don't think you were getting my texts i just said i called 700 times hey hey i love that reaction okay that's fine apparently you know just give her a call and give her the old hey hey and then you know your moodle boost okay they're back together she apparently just hates texting oh no it's a chad this app is [ __ ] hilarious cry or find a job i think i'll just cry thank you very much okay wait what hold on i said cry not swim into the sea until you drown all right instead let's find a job i'm going back on that one i don't like that option or i just swim to europe oh he's going to become a magician look at him floating that coffee cup hello manager look at my magic yep that is the spell bronga oh she threw it away well i guess that means i have to punch you this is how they do it in the jungle this is all i know okay i'm dead i actually did die just one punch why do they not let that be cannon why can i not just say you know what i [ __ ] up that's my choice all right i'll clean up the spilled coffee this time this is depressing i can't believe i'm doing this oh my god are you serious that is both rude and sexual assault what are you doing wait why is this sparkling women's rush no video available all right okay i see what you're doing let me turn on my wi-fi again because i need to know why this is a special event hey guys just a little update mango loves my nails as much as i do fantastic i love mango i give a thumbs up for mango i'm actually happy with this ad this is fine i'm still not getting tick-tock though although i might get a parrot all right here we go was this worth watching an ad what the hell why is everyone naked in here is this how you're supposed to go in the public bathroom you just completely get stripped down uh i don't think he knows how to use the urinal oh no he's such a just degenerate all right fork in the road what's gonna happen here a lambo or a 12 year old's dream well i can't afford either of these can i what is my job let's go with white the chad was driving that so we're going to go with the lambo oh oh hey the roll is reversed here hey remember me i'm that loser who texts you 100 times see you later now you're the one who has to swim to europe he's not even looking at the [ __ ] road he probably didn't see her he's blind oh no my car's been vandalized i bet it was her good thing my parents trained me well for this yeah let's not put the roof up we'll clean the inside at the same time now that's efficiency oh no is this the manager again please don't step on my head oh it is you wait i gotta go to her house and fix her coffee machine i thought it was her coffee machine did he fix it or did he just stare at it for an hour i don't know how you'd even fix this machine i'm getting serial killer vibes off our character to be honest would you mind giving me a leg massage dude one of you is a serial killer sure thing boss that comes up with that like oh get play an ad no i'm not simping for you i'm leaving goodbye you're fired great perfect oh wait okay she was the serial killer in the end just so we're clear and he's delighted about it misery reminds him of old times oh no his life has gone so downhill i'd argue still an improvement though oh the police oh the teleporting police hi how are you sorry it is illegal to be homeless oh sorry i guess i'll just get her home then my bad you're under arrest for back sake just because i didn't simp for that lady take his gun jesus christ i'm getting an ad for a bit life no i've already played loads of bit life give me that now i'm the police sir it's illegal to be you yeah i don't know oh it worked all right i got a gun now time to do crime i guess fast sweet jesus here come the entire police force oh [ __ ] indeed honestly this is a terrible life i would just want to go to the jungle well i'm off to jail but at least i got to take the gun that made me look like a badass right jesus christ what prison are you sending me to are we on another planet this is insane i must be in here with super villains sorry about the bear it's genetic i got to pick my outfit oh orange is the new black after all hey he loves it oh it's the priest from earlier father please pity me yes see he remembers help him or ignore him help him please you can get me out of here right why is the priest cleaning up this place i don't understand oh a shiv alright yeah i'll take that perfect i need a weapon in case god attacks again why in every life simulator do i go to prison it seems like it's a miracle i've not gone to prison in real life yep there you go just dance your way out of here surely i'm not gonna get outside the gate like we saw the prison i've been kept and it's ridiculous all right let's try going down into the sewers and see if we can escape that way it's like shawshank redemption except extremely poorly animated look at this creeping through the tunnels for effects sake where is he gonna go like where even am i i'm convinced i am on a different planet this is insanity oh a tent with people please have you seen a gorilla i've been looking for her my whole life i know i took a wrong turn wait what is this all right i guess i'm just flying home who is he in love with and well what is this child who sat this child here and just left them here i'll switch seats with mother nah man you booked that seat i booked this one it's mine the child is bullying me ah there she is home is this my home or am i just robbing someone is the crime spree going further the door is open anyway so i guess i can just walk in and take what i want ah that's why it's open my parents are dead well i'm not surprised dad had a vicious streak it was only a matter of time go inside a runaway i'm running away i'm gonna join the circus a common theme in his life is just running from his problems all the time urgent comedians needed the only joke here is his [ __ ] life what did one boob say to the other boob how are you please laugh i don't get it throwing food at me thank god nourishment oh look his ex is in the audience i mean not the good ex it's not the gorilla so i don't care i'm not even going to talk to her or make eye contact oh my god why are all these people coming to see him well when i say all these people i mean like three people duplicated what's blue and not heavy light blue wow the crowd goes mild look at them they love it comedic genius look at him how is he like after becoming a millionaire all of that i'm doomed to stand up what a great stage name how has he become famous what do you call a sad strawberry or a blueberry wow you know how does he come up with it nobody knows to be fair the crowd is empty there's no one standing yeah like oh my god he's dancing now yeah there's like no one here okay i just got assaulted by a fan don't worry his ex is here to save him what the hell is going on the amount of times he's been knocked out when it's literally actually not been his fault is quite amazing given all the bad decisions he's made fair enough some of them but some just make no sense wow you're i'm doomed please tell me some jokes oh you want to hear the blueberry one don't you marriage involves three rings the engagement ring the wedding ring and the suffer ring wow that's like in a really bad boomer comic book oh god the plane he's on is like crashing oh please die come on yeah just do oh god what do i do [ __ ] jump wow good thing i jumped please gorilla wife gorilla wife please at least now i can stop telling jokes that part of the game was so depressing that's the most depressing part of the game which is saying a lot given that his life is very depressing please take me to my wife oh god what is he found now wait we're ignoring that there was like a tribe there or something ah here we go okay they're reusing the environment um let's just not say anything they might be praying to their god just because i don't believe doesn't mean they have to not believe it oh my god jesus christ i try to join their training but i think i just try to assault him no we're fine okay this is the part of the disney film where there's a musical montage and he learns to like join the tribe and everything after one year he became a wolf what oh no okay he's he's killing the wolves wow look at that he grew an afro and everything unnecessary jumps i love how the sound has just gone by the way halfway through the game they're like no one will make it this far let's just get rid of the sound why are you dreaming about society it was terrible back there we should stay and continue looking for the gorilla wife okay he's just choosing them this is family now i want to look for the gorilla wife older sister why what the [ __ ] is this oh she's pissed off now oh god what the hell is she doing she's lighting the house on fire okay i think yeah i'm burning to death it seems like a measured response thank you for ending my life all right well just like that i burned to death fantastic you know what i choose the gorilla ending as cannon the rest of it bad dream he's still in the jungle having a great time with his gorilla girlfriend i hope you enjoyed the video if you're new consider subscribing we'd love to have you around if you want to see more games like this do let me know but yeah thank you very much for watching and i hope to see you all next time bye for now you

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 625,360

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, life simulator, life sim, life app, life simulator game, life simulator app, bitlife, callmekevin life, callmekevin life simulator, callmekevin life sim, 100 years, 100 years app, 100 years game

Id: 0b1IR1wxkGo

Length: 18min 59sec (1139 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 07 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/sticky_joe24]

No he picks every best option