This game is about a turnip committing tax evasion

hey there friends how's it going my name is kevin and today we're going to learn about tax evasion tax evasion is the illegal evasion of taxes by individuals corporations and trusts tax evasion often entails taxpayers deliberately misrepresenting the true state of the this probably won't be a very fun video you know what i'll do it through a game instead that's right we're going to play turnip boy commits tax evasion just so you know this video is not legal advice let's get started you owe a ton of property tax for your greenhouse you have until like yesterday to pay it failure to pay will get i'm not even gonna read the rest rip up wait the mayor's making me like his henchmen because i don't pay my taxes this doesn't seem fair wait there's a button to trip and fall over interesting what how will this help me have you seen my watering can um no you know what they say when life gives you lemons lie to them and steal their belongings oh no that watering can mean so much to me i really hope no one stole it uh that's fine i'll just walk away okay so i need to go this way for the mayor but i need to cut that down so i need a weapon and i guess i'll find one at weapon woods watch out for the snails they're vegetarians oh no maybe if i just fill my watering can with salt water i can just watch them burn to death a sword a soiled sword okay i don't know if it'll be that strong but i got one it's dangerous to grow alone take this that is fabulous i love it oh he's having problems with this snail he's not paying rent i'll take care of that for you oh i killed the snail okay that was easy i found rent money on snail oh no it said jerry was gonna pay his rent i'm killing all the snails because they're vegetarian and i'm not freaking scared of them i can't believe that was like that was actually a song like the tell your boyfriend that if he's got beef i'm a vegetarian and i'm not it's genius songwriting really yes okay the way is cleared let's go are you looking to purchase real estate oh i already owe so much in taxes i don't think that's a good idea stop gamer i'm mayor onion's assistant but you can call me by my gamertag slayqueen32 oh then you can call me by mygamertag zx no regrets xz access is inclusive to my true fans who give me tier 3 subs that's great be sure to like and subscribe though you heard slay queen 32 slay that like and subscribe button oh i found a trophy reward the players so they stay engaged i'm engaged i feel like a winner wait a second i just remember this guy sells subs like sandwiches can you get me a 2-3 sub wait slayer queen 32 wants a tier 3 sob here it's on the house just make sure she eats it on stream oh my god okay this is a little too meta thanks for the tier 3 sub turner boy be sure to pay your taxes next time silly xoxo slate queen 32. i think i'll i think i'll rip that up thank you very much i got an achievement simp great that's just what i needed just after feeling accomplished now i'm labeled as simp active bloombloom site water twice at your own risk okay oh it's a bomb how to do your taxes william storm rip that up too just the entire book oh i can kick them as well wow okay this is great oh there we go i'm destroying this baron well that's what you get for calling me a simp now i'm angry oh no oh no what the hell is this come on blow up blow up blop kill him yes did that work it did god i'm good at video games you can call me slateking32 there's a dangerous pig through this doorway we're already dealt with one so it can't be that bad oh no it's a cutscene pig it's the king pig he's a ton of fertilizer look maybe we had some different after all all right i'm just gonna keep kicking bombs at you okay that was way easier than i thought what the hell is happening to what was in that fertilizer is that bacon for god's sake what is this heart fruit this fruit gives you another heart nifty that is nifty all right i got some fertilizer just don't eat it whatever you do okay i got you that stupid fertilizer you wanted oh what another task already a four-pronged spear in ancient times is known as a fork okay i'll go get you your fork oh what is this do you like my specifically placed box collection they're totally not here to keep you in the level or anything that would be wacky oh for god's sake i want to get out onto the road i want to be in traffic lost baby carrot their babysitter must be looking for this lad he was in the trash i don't think they're babysitters doing a very good job don't worry you're safe here what there was this weird thing that came here but i took care of it what do you mean how i chucked it in the trash oh my god you chucked the baby in the trash i like you oh no i just ran into an orange she said i'm the local snail watcher as you must know these are an endangered species i've been murdering them i literally only have one left i killed every other one and you know what it would be cruel to let him live now and everyone he knows is dead yo you found him oh you're the babysitter take my stool it's like literally the only thing i own okay gladly i would prefer a better reward but if it's all you have i'm willing to take it from you and i do believe it is the only thing they own because if you're that bad at babysitting you can't get paid very much there we go now we can get up here oh my god this place looks like a crack then what oh my god it is like a crack then no don't water them hold on get your weapon out oh jeez just leave the room right i'm coming back in there and i'm gonna get stabby what the hell even are they okay that's all dealt with oh a mask i should be responsible stay six feet away oh it actually is like a reference to that okay oh jesus what the hell are you what's happening let go of me he's grabbing me he's gonna eat me okay there we go i got rid of him that was terrifying idle icebox is this the fridge hey could i have that key oh your horse is there partner did you really just destroy your fortifications well you better be willing to help cover the cost oh my god i'm drowning in death i gotta do some missions so they'll give me the key ah for effects sake all right what missions have you got i gotta solve global warming seems reasonable okay i almost have all those supplies i just need the pills i need to talk to her about global warming and then find another missing child got a lot of irresponsible vegetables i was gonna say people but vegetables round red black soulless eyes says to help a lot oh they gave me the key okay well i think i can get the pills with that oh it's back no no no i don't like this thing dead okay now i think i can get to the pills great that's one mission complete okay um i came here to give you all those medical items but i'm kind of wondering why you have a load of babies wait what the nurse says a berry flavored kiss should heal you right up and then turn it boy it does sort of an oo and the babies are doing a goo goo no wait what okay this one isn't doing goo goo understandably you're perplexed by my eloquent phrases do not be alarmed the others are merely imbeciles i'll need legs and maybe arms what i have to construct a baby what the hell is that thing oh my god this guy i keep coming back into this room by accident and then he's killing me move mittens use these to push move melons wait do you have a hand so that's a good question i didn't even notice that okay so i can grow this and ah okay that's quite neat i like that feature oh no oh no oh no there's two of them i just ran out the room i was terrified wait i don't have the key for this door oh that means i have to fight them and i really don't like them no they've almost killed me okay i just about managed lost cherry baby wait if this wasn't lost it was kidnapped what is this selective service system order to report what legally drafted is the united states for the okay i'm just gonna rip this up this seems important it's even unlocked draft dodger i don't think this is anything to do with what the documents are i think turnip boy just really loves ripping stuff up all right give me one of them flavored kisses there we go all sorted and i got another key okay so i need to get back to that other room and find out where i need to go next this way what the hell is this captain matthew rixby has been missing in action yeah rip up oh no what is this what are you are you a cat rotten cat apple perfect's sake oh no what is it doing what is it spitting out he's mashing up me watermelon i didn't expect to say that today a bit of a weird sentence there we go get a few hits on it oh no no no no this is scary there's a lot going on and i don't like it oh no lots of worms [Music] yes did i get it oh my god what are you all eating did you eat fertilizer too they're all exploding like this what the hell is this what oh i started the generator oh yeah okay i forgot that was a mission i was just clicking on things i like to just rip stuff up and touch random buttons hey turnip boy it was nice studying this place but i'm going to take my notes back to my research lab did you see the pickled gang in the idol ice box they're a notorious ganger in these parts i'm surprised they haven't enlisted anyone to help them break out yet oh i'm on my way please don't help them turn a point no no no it's too late now i'm gonna go help them oh i got the fork great i forgot that's why i was here anyway to now to help organize crime there you are what do you need i need to get some break this glass maybe a hammer of sorts i'll have a guy who'll meet you in the alleyway over at layer lane i'll go right there all right but first here you go here's the fork what do you want me to do next get me some of that goop okay is that like a drug or what first we gotta head to layer lane and meet some shady character ah shady literally okay what do you got for me he won't talk to me oh wait you also are shady yes yes this is the one i need you seem a bit young for this way i don't make the rules look at poor turnip boy he looks like he's about eight a hammer okay perfect i'll bring it to them where are you there you are here's the hammer thanks turnip head we owe you one here try this on your father used to wear one back in the day wait was my father an organized crime oh milady yes i'll wear the fedora oh look at him he looks adorable or sorry adorable meet me up ahead of my research facility i can help you get the goop for mayor onion research facility you mean like drug lab right oh no is that a rabbit die i don't even know if it's an enemy oh god it's an enemy or at least it is now maybe it wasn't before i attacked it holly's phone i changed the password can i give it back to you up there no all right i guess i'll just steal it for now then i'll give it to you later after i installed some malware wanted for tax evasion petty theft indecent exposure simping murder disorderly conduct trespassing destruction of property ripoff mainly for the simping parrot is this your lab this is like a crack then or something okay i gotta do a favor for him before i can get the goop did you know you can water through fences what oh you mean like i can water that what the hell is that thing what that doesn't help me at all oh wait oh oh it's like portal i see god this game has a lot going on oh wait i get it i can put a bomb through the portal and then it'll come straight out okay god this is going to get confusing isn't it there we go god this game's clever i like it i feel like big brain right now oh sweet jesus really it's like nuclear waste here just toxic waste hidden away oh god what the hell are you die bambi die i'm doing a lot of evil stuff here today i'm gonna rip you up next bambi oh off it goes okay bye bye wait was that a door can i go in there no okay it's a special deer door no dear someone drew a mushroom giant so handsome i think that's a nuke oh toxic waste okay i'm out of here god i hope no one eats me like not because i'm against dying just they would die also and i'm just a good person looking out for everyone else all right i got your stupid drawing of that muriel this is very intriguing i've known about the legends of the mushroom giants it seemed kind of hocus-pokes at first but i gather they've been part of our history for a very long time wait are we all a product of like extreme radiation or something that makes sense all right i'm on my search for goop come on i need my group i need my fix god i feel like i'm speed running this game i'm getting quite used to it now oh oh oh okay shouldn't have said anything no i i feel like i'm doing all right look i'll bring this in here and then push that there and i'm across wow i'm good at games you'd swear i played them all the time turn the patch oh my little brothers and sisters turnip where's its face why isn't it moving oh no turnip boy's gonna be traumatized oh more toxic waste yeah we're definitely a product of like nuclear waste oh jesus as are you you're huge i don't think watering him is gonna help i don't want him to get bigger i keep hitting him but he's not dying come on charge me bambi charge me and one oh no one two no three you know the thing i said earlier about being good at games that was a lie oh off it goes okay jesus it's the size of the trees is it just going to keep getting bigger is that the same one that i've been fighting potted petal portal use this to spawn a petal portal oh that's pretty neat i like it but enough about this where's the goop do you think this is the goop like the toxic waste is what they've been talking about all right i can spawn one of these things now so i can just go right on through look at that i'm a genius okay i might be a genius in some ways but i cannot figure out this next puzzle i need to get the bomb up here but i just how am i gonna do that like i can this is confusing me oh wait i can place two okay i thought i could only place one okay that makes that a lot easier oh okay i might end up confusing myself a little bit but it does make some puzzles a lot easier oh my god what the hell happened to you what am i oh you got splashed with the goop and you became sentient oh my god okay this is getting more of it i crawled out of that group but i know nothing else okay it's all coming together oh no oh no don't eat the coop oh jesus you're already hard enough to deal with stag a crew not member of nature look at him he's massive i don't know if me putting him in the goop is a good idea or a bad idea okay there's a lot of rabbits everywhere this is getting way harder all of a sudden i can hit you down there yeah hurl a bomb yes okay that hurts them a lot oh but this hurts me a lot i don't want to die now i don't want to repeat this turnip boy won't live no no no no no no no boy won't die apparently i just went straight into the nuclear waste no i died oh turn it boy okay i'm gonna be more aggressive this time i don't know if that's a good idea or not but i'm just gonna try and keep hurling bombs because the the problem wasn't the boss it was that the rabbits kept spawning okay i'm gonna put that there and water that and then water that and then hit that in there and it'll come out there and hit him yes great i took some hits from it but it worked okay put that there oh jesus this is a lot of pressure water that don't off you stupid bunny okay try this again put that up uh water that water this come back here kick that in there out it comes boom yes okay i beat it thank god that was difficult there he goes exploding again can i have my goop now i really just sound like an addict i really am having withdrawals from goop i need my goop oh and i goop oh what does he want now we need a contraption that your pea-sized brain couldn't comprehend you're definitely a villain aren't you it's a machine that shoots a red laser okay yeah you're you're an evil villain a bad one like a bad bond villain a strange hatch in weapon woods okay i'm on the way hey um i have a bit of a glow around me and i don't mean like oh you've a lovely healthy glow i mean like a radiation type glow around me i don't like that at all oh you're still here with your child i don't know if you should be shaking it like that i mean i'm not one to talk but do as i say it not as i do having a baby is great oh there they are the irs wait what does this say oh no this doesn't look good rip that thing up all right now just just let me down here right go to the graveyard and get a tool okay why do i get the feeling that i'm about to fight some deranged half dead vegetables is it insensitive to call them vegetables if they're half dead yes your shovel why oh there's some rich folk buried deep in this graveyard help me find them i'll give you my shovel really you're grave digging go to where the trees rot or you'll return to the bot what what does that mean bottom like you leave it's a riddle well it's not a very good one go towards the trees rot so you mean like these ones no that's just returning me to the bottom again what do i have to do hey mom and dad i don't know why i'm writing to you you're six feet under rip it up oh no the achievement i didn't even read it i just ripped it up oh my god how do i figure this out go to where the trees rot do you mean the trees like they're all rotting though oh i can dig up the graves okay fantastic shall i get to work i don't know which of the rich ones but rather than trying to pick them i'm just going to dig up every grave then everyone suffers oh especially this ghosty oh no oh they're getting pissed i'm just desecrating your grave why does this upset you the direction to go that's the best well rhymes with the best ah he asked listen man it's hard to come up with good riddles okay you know what i'd struggle to i'm gonna head west digging up graves i'm getting sims vibes now only because well there are lots of ghosts and well i play the sims kind of in a weird way yes yes big queen is on fire it's about time you're finally on fire unless you want to join me below seek the truth where it's yellow it almost rhymes okay fair enough do you mean the flowers is that it is this like actually their heart that's berries here all right let's chance it yes okay great this area seems to have the remains of humans everything they left behind dwarfs their technology and abilities so they sure were something trust me we weren't we spent all our time getting angry on twitter so is this like post-apocalyptic then i guess that's what that's what it seems to be oh my god loads of pumpkins you better not all have riddles for me i'm sick of your riddles you should go west also the pumpkin on my right is lying oh no okay what do you got to say you should go north also the pumpkin on my right is lying you should go east also the pumpkin below me is telling the truth you should go south also the pumpkin above me is telling the truth you should go west also the pumpkin above me is lying you should go south also the pumpkin polo me is telling the truth what do i do okay so assuming he's telling the truth this guy is lying and he's saying this guy is lying and this one is saying the one below him is telling the truth but that can't be true because this guy said he's a liar and he's also saying the guy above him is telling the truth but no he's a liar so he no you you are wrong so the only ones that aren't being called liars are the ones saying to go west but i came from the west i'm gonna dig up some graves that always makes me feel better all right i angered the dead and i'm gonna head west no that didn't work at all if he's lying then because it's not west so these two are also lying this one's lying and he's lying what about you you're single south but but he's lying so the only one who's not lying is this one me go north oh it worked okay great all right is this the one the one with the money is that what is the money symbol on him is that really all they cared about oh the golden shovel wait now that i have a brand new shiny golden shovel i guess i don't need this wait i get the hammy downs but i did all the work oh that makes me angry which you know means i'm going to dig up every single grave thing is it's only giving me hearts so there is actually no reason for me to do this like this is a bad idea all right at least i can get out of there easy because i just took the wrong direction okay uh now i need to go back and open that bunker there we go open sesame what should you do in a radiation emergency stay informed stay prepared nah oh sweet jesus what the hell is that thing oh wait it's oh no it is a human this has nothing to do with the fact that they're different from me i just hate social interaction this much i'm this anxious oh jesus oh no please don't tell me this is soup social interaction and soup my nightmare ow hell what what are you okay i i'm dying to beans really this is the way it has to been is it if i could have been just a bit quicker i could have reacted in time run run run run run run i trip trip over yourself oh i can't get out of here right maybe i shouldn't try and run it just looked like i was way outnumbered i'll try and just slash them oh okay they are very easy to kill okay i just have a fear of beans all right i have a natural instinct to run after being in this bunker so long i've gotten so pale i can't wait to see the sun again it's like me except mine is by choice hello humans i am friend oh no jesus christ i lit the whole thing on fire come back friends oh they locked the door i don't blame them i just light their bunker on fire and i'm a sentient turnip by the way bombs dropped we're going to stop there i know and rip that up i hate the news it's depressing oh sugar i lit the whole bedroom on fire oh i let myself on fire that'll show him i think i left myself on fire and then i ran into the door and caught that on fire is that a hazmat suit i don't suppose it's turnip size like that would be a little weird oh how do i solve that you know what it light myself on fire again it seems to be a good way of getting the job done i didn't even die great can protect me from many things including fire oh no how am i supposed to solve puzzles now oh no this is a big tub what is it what the hell is that oh my god it's it's scaring me i can't oh no no no no no what do i do what do i do it's like hypnotize me or something i can't move oh it reversed my movement okay that is trippy oh god damn it i let myself in fire owl may as well get the job done oh wait i can still ah okay so i can still catch myself on fire and run into things i just don't get hurt so this is actually a very good item they're just gonna run again why do they always run i just want a friend let me love you they always run oh wait i think i got one oh disgusting human oh they're mutants oh even worse i just thought they were normal humans i was still like gross oh my god what are you mr tickle or something get away from me with those arms this is my new strategy just light myself on fire it didn't work surprisingly enough yeah it does work you just gotta be careful of the slammy fist but other than that i just continuously light myself on fire it's a hard strategy to combat for her is it dead yes it's dead it just kind of died we both had a weird similarity in that we were both killing ourselves they were just dying from old age or something and i was dying from well lighting myself on fire laser pointer yay we got what we needed i like being on fire because it looks like turnip boy is actually angry for once because look at his little face no matter what we come up against whether it's mutant humans or digging up graves he's got that lovely little smile all right there's your laser pointer i hope this is just to like point at children or something and you're not doing about what you said the final piece of my master plan well i'm assuming that plan is bigger than pointing it at a children then you really thought i would give you back the deed to your greenhouse ha ha ha i feel like he should be more intimidating you really are an idiot just like your father do you even know what's under your own home get out of my sight i bet even the infamous old man lemon won't help you now well thank you for pointing me in the right direction i did steal his watering can so maybe he doesn't want to help me your father don terpencino mayor onion and i go way back we used to run in the same crime family your father was the boss i was his hitman mayor onion was the concealer really i wasn't expecting this we wanted what we have in our base below weapons well do you name it we had it oh no why didn't you tell me this earlier when i was going around collecting stuff for him you were right there sneak in and defeat mayor onion there's not much time oh no you can use my secret hatch behind the tree but be quick oh this is going to be hard oh mysterious mafia base i wait the mayor didn't know about this entrance it was right behind the tree i thought he was part of this mob family what oh i see what i have to do i gotta put down a portal and then like i do with most of my problems i'm gonna light myself on fire and go through it worked oh my god what is this is this the great turnip crime family my surviving son if you're reading this i've probably no i'm such a bad child i probably should have write that i just really wanted to disrespect my father ah how did you get in here so fast whacking you idiot radishes oh wait the radishes on your side i thought they were the irs they seem to be giving up okay that was really easy you stupid baby ganoush corrupt political power transformed what's he gonna become oh my god corrupt onion went mad with power oh no now i have to fight this thing i shouldn't have complained that your henchmen were too easy oh i can't solve this one by lighting myself on fire either i am not happy this actually isn't too bad i've got his attacks down he just repeats the same attacks over and over again so it's not too bad yeah this is easier than some of the other boss fights like that big deer was higher than this i'm fine with this how could this happen okay that was easy oh my god is that his that was so easy i am amazed what property title indeed this certifies that the greenhouse is owned by turnip boy i don't think this would hold up in court i may as well rip it up as well i suppose oh look and turn it boy just having a little sleep this game is kind of demented when you think about it not even you don't even need to think about it it's just demented all right folks that is tax evasion 101 just for a disclaimer i'm just teaching you about tax evasion so you can avoid avoiding tax by accident i hope you enjoy this little educational video i hope if you're new here you'd consider subscribing regulars thank you so much for watching and i hope to see you all next time bye for now

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 713,833

Rating: 4.9722934 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, turnip, turnip boy, Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion, callmekevin turnip boy, cute game

Id: hNhBY1729eU

Length: 25min 27sec (1527 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 21 2021