All right.
We're checking out the only game where the only enemy that can
beat Spider-Man is alcoholism. It's Happy Wheels.
Apparently, in this, you get to deal with, like, every single
evil villain that Spider-Man knows. I don't just mean these ones here. I guess there's like
a whole hidden area. It is pretty funny that we have
things like, you know, Satan. Does Spider-Man ever fight Satan? All right, starting off with
water before we get smashed. I love how one of the things
that you can get is just Human. Satan's Ghost flying,
Box of Dark Magic. What? All right,
now to start dining on ketchup. I don't know what that Dark Magic
Box is, but I kinda want it. All right. Finishing up my-my
alcoholism was with some mustard as-- Oh, come on, get in there.
Get in the Box of Dark Magic. Wow. Never thought Dark Magic
would be so difficult. Ah, the pizza boy.
What? I was gonna say, it just,
kind of, made him urinate blood. Okay. Getting this win
is going to be a pain as well. Come on, Dark Magic. Oh, it has a little hidden
barrier that you can't get in. I see. So, it's made specifically
to drive me crazy. Ah, Yeet Plus.
What is this? Weapons 4 Spidey.
Is this gonna get me killed? I feel like this is
gonna get me killed. In fact, I-- Oh, no.
No, no, no. I'm still alive.
Yes, we're bottle-flipping weapons now. I can't move this spear [screams]. What does Spider-Man
have for breakfast? I don't know.
Survey says alcohol, watermelons, and a pineapple. It's like the breakfast of champions.
Go, pineapple [chuckles]. It's actually quite hard
to get anything on this board. Seriously?
[groans] All right. Got the Yeetus Feetus.
Oh, yeah, there it is. The standing Yeetus Feetus. It's superior to other
Feetuse Yeetuses. Oh, come on. Come on. Oh. Oh, I got underneath the human. Ah, Yeet Lite.
It's like low-cal Yeety. [music] -[gasps] I got on top
of the Box of Dark Magic, yay. 99% Impossible, eh?
Go. Go. [groans] Ow. [groans] All right, J.J
Jameson, get in there. Is that Iron Man?
Gimme the win. Not the Yeet, the win.
Ah, Yeet Plus. [music] -Yay. Oh, wow. You get to see everyone in the end. There's Electro,
the Doc Oc, the Vulture. Peter, you are struggling, and Goblin. Oh, [?] Mysterio.
How many more? Yes, and we have a winner. Welcome to Ball Fall Longest. Now, supposedly, this is the longest
Ball Fall that has ever been made. I just lost my helmet
and we're only on the second part. That's bad. All right.
The balls are getting, kind of, small. Now, whenever you're dealing
with small balls like this, what you have to do is make sure
that your legs, like your knees, don't get caught on stuff. Otherwise, you'll
never make it through. See? See right here?
See? There we go. Boom. Glorious.
Oh, the balls are big again. Oh. Like little swingy things. Okay. [bell rings]
-Ow. Okay, and off and yeet, and throw, and ouch, and-- Oh God. Um, hmm. So, I can't hug the wall. Otherwise, I'll get
yeeted into the spikes. So, you've gotta yeet
yourself this way. There it is. Perfect. [groans] Guess it's not that bad actually. This looks unbelievably inappropriate. Okay. Jump.
[screams] [groans] I'm dead. Did a long Ball Fall. I mean, I know I've it said longest,
but clearly, I underestimated this. So, we can hug the wall for quite
some time, but then eventually, we can't anymore.
Here we go. Perfect. And, watch this, watch this. Look at this, like a slithery snake. Perfect. Little yoga
and down into the flippy. Ow, into the other flippy, onto the triangle
of destiny through the ball. Now we can go here.
Right. Now, we're gonna wanna-- actually, we wanna do
what I did last time, so I can get some of these spikes.
Actually, you know what? No, we're not gonna do that.
So, swing, let go- I'm dead. Now, I'm curious. Like, I've gotten to the-to
the squares that were rotating. How far does this go?
No, not my helmet. Although it's-it's not like my helmet
did anything the last time. I-- and Superman my way through here. Oh, see how my knee got caught?
That's not what you want. Here we go.
Right, and flip. Ah. Perfect. Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay, so, we need
a super-controlled fall here. Oh. There. [screams]. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, stop it. [screams] Ah, you gotta be kidding me. I guess I get to see- Okay,
we're almost at the bottom. Your Ball Fall's like a--
one of the sections of the underworld. Right. Still have my helmet,
so this is a good run so far. The fact that I'm on,
like, the second part and I still have my helmet
is a big deal, okay? All right. Just, kind of,
get my head by my ankles here. There we go.
Oh, yeah, that's nice. Okay, and don't want to get paddled.
Perfect. Okay. Now, if I land right over here,
this should be the good spot. Oh, that's a bad spot. It's very bad and we want
a nice casual slide. Nice casual slide. Perfect.
Ow, ow, you know what? I actually don't need
legs to complete this. As a matter of fact, my legs probably
just get in the way, that as it is. Whoa. [screams] Ow. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh my God, in the freaking- [screams] Oh. Yes [laughs].
I got so lucky there. I'm-I'm saving that. Ah, yes, time for a rope swing
of incredible-- I'm dead. Ow. I was gonna say a rope
swing of incredible magni-- No, my arm.
Okay. This rope swing, I can't even get past the first rope. There, and grab, and swing, and no. Um, maybe I can salvage this. Hold on. Ah [groans]. Okay. Nope. Okay, swing,
jump, grab, swing, up, down. Oh, hell yes.
No, there's a bunch of swords here. Really? Oh, I can actually,
kinda, like, wobble off. Hold on. The only problem is I think
that there's just more swords under me, so I don't actually think
I'll be getting anywhere. If my head doesn't hit the thing first. Come on, [?] use those head muscles. Ow. Okay. Grab.
Oh, my arms are stuck inside. Whoa, yay.
Uh, oh-oh, um, Hmm. I don't know if I can
flip my way up here. Yeah. Okay, grab, jump.
Okay, that looks pretty good. Man, getting last little area is tough. That looks-- stoooop.
Oh, don't skip arm day. Don't skip face day either cuz
there's-there's no telling when you're going to need to put your
face inside of a bunch of katanas. Could happen at any time, all right? That looks good.
That looks good. Yeah. [laughs] Oh-oh, oh-oh,
the ropes all the way over there. Oh, I don't know if I have enough speed. No. Do you have to go
through a thumbnail? Hold to another rope.
What kind of rope swing is this? Oh yeah, I'm getting good at this part. Nice. All right
so we wanna be way over here. Oh yeah, that looks
good,that looks good. Grab it, Oh no, my arm's inside. Okay.
Getting pretty good at that part. Okay, so then you
have to land this way. Don't put my arms inside there,
and then threw the thumbnail hole. Ugh, I don't even know what's
after the thumbnail hole, I'm hoping not much more. Like a graceful swan,
like an alcoholic swan. I can make this work.
Ready? Watch. Okay. Right. Stop, we want to go nice
and straight, nice and straight. No, don't touch the blades.
And jump. No. Come on, just one time, one time. Grab it, jump.
Man, how you're supposed to do that? Incredible flip,
backflip, drop, grab, die. All right, maybe I just need to trust it. Maybe grab and then just natural swing. Now you've gotta do a talk and jump
and grab and flip and I'm dead. Oh, never mind, I got it. Um, ye, [screams], huge
jump through the thumbnail [?]. I almost died just then. Just gotta let go, slide off,
and we have a winner. This is called [?] fight [laughs]. All the drawings here are fantastic. The Brawler. [screams]
I didn't know he would explode. The Samarguy, like a samurai
and a guy mixed together. All right and Ye, here we go. Whoa, whoa, he's still
fighting randomly. I'm gonna finish this.
What's this say? "Me right now" What is this?
Oh, I'm gonna finish up this level. Ah, they're still alive. I love how even the winning
area is drawn poorly. Up on the balcony terror.
Let's jump here. [?] here. [screams]
It's up my ass. Why? Oh, God [chuckles].
Oh, did I? Ow. Oh, there's a coin you
have to get, you know--? Ugh, you know, it would be great
not getting a battle ax up the rectum. Uh. Almost got inside
of this apartment with these two guys. All right. Okay, so battle x guy
is taken care of. Now, you just need to fall nice and controlled all
the way Nixon and jump. I'm not gonna have any survivors,
if I'm dying so is everyone else. Man, its glass won't break. Come on. Just break.
Listen up, old man. Oh, luckily the ax was taken
care of by a battle ax guy. So let me jump this way.
There we go. And now the coin was against
the wall so let go here. Yeah, perfect. Around this way,
and down the ramp of glass. Okay, and we have-- Mmm. Come here, I'm using
you for protection. Grab, swing, jump through.
Oh, my arm. Okay, wait for battle ax guy
to die randomly down here. [screams] my arm, I'm dead.
Or am I? Okay. Um, hmm. Whoa.
Back here, oh man. Oh no, I don't want to get
caught in the pile of people that would be really bad.
Right, I need to get my legs under me. Perfect. Oh yeah, here we go-here we go. Yes. Right now, lean forward, beautiful. Get this random leg out of the way. Get outta the way leg.
This girl's foot is in my wiener. Actually, maybe a guy's foot,
I'm not really sure. There we go.
Okay. Yes, yes. Oh, that butcher's knife.
Are you kidding me? Okay, this was easily
going to be my best run, but now I have a chair that
has melded itself into my body like a Voltron-style meld
of chair and man, and that it is making things
unbelievably difficult. How did I even do this?
All right, chair. We're doing this together. I lied, chair, because you're
a Titanic pain in my ass. All right. Now off here,
I have to watch out for this glass because all the glass
is like ins to death glass. The problem is there's an arm
in the way and I can't grab onto then, red arm the way.
God, that glass is so close. Don't you touch me, glass. Okay, there we go.
Okay, so now the glass is-- Uh, it's arm--this arm
is right back where it started. And-- really? Yeah. It's amazing that in order to win
this, I had to get ripped in half. You figure there would be some
less painful way to do this. Welcome to boost forest wasteland. It is the apocalypse,
and now the world has been bathed in the blood of mutated creatures. However, how come this cactus
is still normal size. It's even like a [?] cactus than normal. Right, so you have to use the boost. Didn't know the cactus
was a real object. Okay, let's try and go over the cactus. Yeah. It-- was that?
What was that? Hold on a second.
[chuckles] Okay, is like a tumbleweed? What is this?
Is that a snake? Wait a minute,
it's a giant bird [laughs], the giant bird with
a snake and its talents. It's not even like a really good bird, it's like a crackle or something.
What is this thing? [chuckles] Anyway.
All right, what else you got for me? Hey, gotta jump up the mountain
using the boost. So let's line this up perfect and jump. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Whoa, what is it?
Oh, whoa. Huh? I kind of wanna know what
was at the top of the mountain. I don't know if we'll get to see it, but I'm gonna head up
there just to look. This is a giant mountain, of course. Look, there just happens to be
a deadly cactus with a bomb, really? Let me get over that
without blowing up. There's a lot of cactus here.
Are these all real? Yeah you would die on any one
of these while you're sliding down. I don't know how I didn't touch these, I'm really curious
what that is up there. There's like a-like a giant
tear Pterodactylus or something? Well, lemme see if I can
jump high enough to see it. I don't know maybe it's just like
a God cooping on us or something. All right, let me go down
here without blowing up. Hey, no, there we go. Nice. And now a nice, controlled
roll down the mountain. I'm waiting for another bomb too, okay? What is that?
Oh, it's just like an angry ball. I'm gonna get that going because
I'm kind of curious what it does. Plus, if there's any bombs,
the ball will get rid of them for me. What was the purpose
of climbing this mountain? Am I trying to get to like
a safe zone or something? Like the one little
apocalypse bunker that's left? Boost. Oh no I broke the boost
with the other rock. I mean, I guess I could
just jump over these. There we go, no problem,
and down into this canyon here, where am I going?
Oh, yaaay. Not gonna lie, that giant bird there would make some delicious chicken wings. [?] folks I got to see apocalypse,
it looks delicious. Hope you enjoy this episode of Happy
Wheels, untill next week, stay [?].
