How to Identify a Sociopath in your life.

welcome back friends i'm glad to be back today and today i'm gonna offer you the information that you need to successfully identify a sociopath who's in your life [Music] okay so today we're going to work on identifying a sociopath and the reason why i want to do this video because it's so important is that we often don't realize what a sociopath is and how to identify them so we're in that relationship with someone that's probably quite toxic in our life but we're unaware of that toxicity and we continue to stay in that relationship way longer than we should causing ourselves great pain and suffering so let's begin the video today on discussing the sociopath and the diagnostic criteria of a sociopath so you can better know and understand if you have one of these particular types of people in your life right now so let's begin number one is a failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behavior okay repeated performs of acts that are grounds for arrest whether they get arrested or not they're still breaking the law often times second is deceitfulness it's indicated by a repeated line the use of aliases right and conning others for personal profit or personal pleasure that's a big one that's that's a key one the third is impulsivity and a failure to actually plan ahead fourth is the irritability and aggressiveness is indicated by repeated physical fights or physical or emotional assaults next is reckless disregard for the safety of themselves as well as the safety of others okay the next one is consistent irresponsibility right irresponsibility is indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work and to sustain a consistent work behavior as well as to honor financial obligations next is the lack of remorse as indicated by being indifferent or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another person and this is interesting because we remember that in the criterion the individual is at least 18 years or older and there has to be no evidence of onset of these criterion prior to 15 years of age and so when you start looking at this criterion and you start thinking about this criterion it's important to realize that it can't just be one or two off it really needs to follow this criterion to understand if somebody does and is suffering with antisocial personality disorder aka sociopathic behavior the criterion is important to understand okay but now let's really focus on their behavior many people call it the 90 rule and a really easy way to really spot a sociopath outside of understanding the criterion is to stay focused on their behavior and not the words that they say and why i say this is that oftentimes with a sociopath they can have a tendency of making us feel really good because they they just they say all the right things right until we've known them for quite some times and then they can go back and forth they can also be very mean but when we pay attention to their behavior instead of what they say it really helps us to feel and to understand what we're dealing with another interesting point about dealing with a sociopath is to pay really close attention to extreme behavior okay often a sociopath 90 of the time is going to do things in an extreme way and when you're around them for a long period of time you begin to forget that this is extreme behavior and so a good thing and a good rule of thumb is to honestly ask yourself would i ever do that so the extreme behavior that just happened asking yourself stepping back from the situation saying is that something that i would ever do okay because what i've found is that extreme behavior is extremely common for sociopaths but the thing is is that they quickly uh cover it up right with the comments or excuses you know maybe they might do something really extreme and in order to cover it up they talk about all the stress they're under right or this push this person push them into this or push them over the edge or push them over the edge of reason or whatever they use to cover up doing something extreme that you and i would never ever do and and i find it interesting because when you're around them long enough and you're not paying attention to the behavior you're just listening to what they say you can get really lost in the shuffle and oftentimes what happens is you begin to feel like off center you begin to feel as though there's something wrong with you because things aren't adding up okay another thing about sociopaths is it it doesn't really matter about the behavior right there's always an excuse and i mean i hate to use the words always and never but there's almost always an excuse responsibility is really not part of a sociopath's of mode of operende right they're usually the ones that are always blameless and if you're waiting for an apology from a sociopath you might as well wait for the rest of your life okay you might as well just stand in line and wait because it's never going to come and and and i'm talking about a truthful apology words or words i have found though that an apology may take place from a sociopath if to some degree it'll make them look good or it publicly elevates them in some way a little caveat okay so another thing that i find often interesting when i'm working with clients therapy clients coaching clients and they've had a difficult upbringing childhood it doesn't matter what age they are they could be in their 30s 40s 50s now even 60s doesn't matter but it's interesting when we go back to some of these stories in their childhood and it was either mom or dad that they would talk about seem to find pleasure in other people's pain okay and this is an interesting indicator of a sociopath is that what i found is that when a sociopath is listening to someone else talk about their pain something horrible that's happened in their life um a victim of crime right a victim of injustice something really sad as they're telling their story it's interesting how a sociopath may tend to without even realizing it begin to smile smirk or even laugh and i find it interesting because when i do watch the news which is rarely but occasionally i'll watch let's say like a court proceeding you know um or you know something on the news that has really gotten attention um recently uh i remember there was a there was a newscast when um um ashton okay there was a newscast this was several this was probably in the last within the last year ashton kutcher was uh talking in congress about trying to change the laws to safeguard children um against predators okay and and i don't know if you saw this and i'm gonna try to find a clip but during when he was talking uh to congress it was interesting because there was some people you could see obviously listening to his conversation in congress it was a full house and there was a woman she was laughing and smiling the entire time as he was talking about these horrific situations with children's sexual abuse and what have you okay and that's usually a good sign of a sociopath okay do you see what i'm saying and they're they're unaware they're they're unable to hold back do you see what i'm saying like they're unable to hide uh that part i saw some other stuff too there was a there were several newscasts in the last several years where a family member of the family was was killed or something had happened and you see a person being interviewed and you know at first you might feel like you just don't really understand what's going on you see i'm saying and i didn't really realize it until you know the last few years that the smiling and the smirking and the laughing when it's something that's horrific that's something that you and i would have empathy for something that you and i might even cry over because we can be empathic and we're we we feel for that person's pain right that other person that's that's sociopathic it's like they can't hold back if that makes sense and i ask you to be aware of that behavior whether it's a friend or family member or if you're watching it on tv to understand where that's really coming from and i find that interesting because i think oftentimes we hear what people say but we're not watching their mannerisms we're not watching their behavior and that's something that can really help you in this situation because that can give you the cue and the hints to understanding the type of person that you're actually dealing with one caveat too which is interesting is that when i would see this type of behavior in the past i used to try to um you know our minds want to act like that's not real okay you know like when you've seen something horrible and you want to act like it didn't happen you create all these thoughts in your head to basically remap that thought and exchange it for something else i remember one time watching there was an accident that took place and it was a really horrible automobile accident and we were held off to the side as witnesses to what had happened and i was i was in shock and there was a person that was they were they were grinning and and kind of smiling and smirking and at first i thought that it was because they couldn't deal with it like i felt like they were overwhelmed with emotion but now that i look back at it to some degree i believe that was a sociopath that really couldn't help themselves if that makes sense because my mind wanted to believe that there's no way that that person could be smiling or laughing at that person's pain so i made up the fact that they must be in such um extreme uh overwhelmed with emotions that that's why they just can't control their configuration of their face like anything to lie about the fact of what was going on when in reality i think it was a sociopath that really just couldn't stop being a sociopath at that moment you know i was recently reading an article in psychology today by a renowned therapist and lawyer billy eddie bill eddy actually and he was talking about how the parkland shooter in florida apparently had a history of harming animals interesting and the fact that many people knew about it whether or not they said anything or didn't realize the potential that this could be a sociopath is kind of beyond me but i find that very interesting and i believe that if you really look at that criterion but more so if that criterion is fitting somebody in your life stepping back and instead of listening to them speak pay attention to their actions and their behavior and then when they do something that maybe you've been lulled into feeling as normal but it seems outrageous stepping back and asking yourself would i do that and i think more often than not you're going to begin to realize maybe some patterns of some people in your life that might have sociopathic behavior anti-social personality disorder and you can help them as much as you can but oftentimes it might be a good idea to kind of step back and analyze and determine is this somebody that you need to be spending time with if they do want help or if they do want to talk to somebody you know definitely being there because i don't believe that anybody's a lost cause but if this per person is hurting other people it needs to be brought to attention but also you need to ask yourself how much more time am i going to spend with this person and how is this relationship better in my life or actually hurting me because i think more so than not it's doing a detriment in your life and it's causing you pain and suffering i hope this information has helped you because i find that interesting enough many of us don't really understand or know some of the people that we're spending time with we don't know the criterion of a sociopath we don't understand it it's something that years ago i had no idea i had no idea and you know when you look back and i look back at some situations that really rocked me i could have easily bypassed that situation if i would have had the knowledge and information that i have today if you haven't already please subscribe to my channel and also in the comments section below leave me some hints and clues of some things that you figured out when dealing with the sociopath in your life i'm very interested and also maybe some things that you did to well to quite honestly how you actually exited stage right if you were able to move on past that relationship and remember we have this one life to live and so when we realize these situations in our life it makes us easier for us to overcome adversity to really focus on ourselves and to successfully begin to live our true life are you currently in a toxic relationship and unsure what the next day will bring have you often wondered if there's more to life than this do you suffer from self-esteem issues that you've had since you were a young child have issues or have difficulty speaking with your family do you feel surrounded by self-centered people seems as though you're always giving and they're always taking if you've answered yes to any of these questions you need some answers the 10-day challenge to live your true life gives you the knowledge and techniques for creating boundaries in your life that help us to deal with family as well as dealing with those narcissistic and toxic people in your life it offers the insight into understanding and overcoming your self-esteem issues and to begin to see for the first time your amazing value you owe it to yourself to find the power within you you

Channel: Ashley Berges

Views: 190,478

Rating: 4.82622 out of 5

Keywords: sociopath, cluster b, personality disorder, self help, Ashley Berges, criterian, critera, DSM-5, DSM, signs, symptoms, red flags, highly-fuctioning, powerful, behavior, sociopathic behavior, life coach, life coaching, therapist

Id: KXMKyH-ElZY

Length: 16min 35sec (995 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 27 2018