Want to Learn the Truth about Someone?

most of us depend on what people say about themselves and what they tell us about themselves to determine if they're a kind of person we want to spend time with we listen to them and you know listening to them is the least effective way of determining someone's intention someone's dedication someone's honesty and someone's trustworthiness so how do we determine if someone's being honest how can we catch a lie and how can we catch those red flags sooner than later if you're interested in understanding that and beginning to employ a powerful position in life and knowing things quicker than later you don't want to miss this video [Music] welcome back friends I'm glad to be back today and today I'm going to be talking about those nonverbal cues right a lot of times we listen to what people tell us about themselves we listen to what they say about who they are and what they're about but something might change and in the end we realize that they didn't have the good intention or they didn't have the dedication or they weren't being honest so how do we determine honesty quickly how do we decode is there a decoding system that we can use instead of just listening to what they tell us sure and in today's video I'm going to talk about those personal power abilities that you can use to understand to determine good decisions and make a decisions to determine who's a good friend who you should go into business with and even for that matter who you should date so you're ready to talk about this stuff let's go so we want to be paying attention to this non-speaking parts right that's important so in today's video I'm going to give you some tips and tricks on how to do that and we're going to start very simply but as you understand we're building up you can't just take one part and not do the rest of it right we have to do it all at one time so we've got to be completely engaged we got to be completely in the moment and we have to be mindful right because we can just listen to somebody talk and we can kind of just you know daydream but this actually takes time and it takes work and if you can start establishing this in your day to day life you're gonna see the red flags quicker you're going to outsmart people okay and you're gonna be least taken advantage of okay so I want to help you be able to overcome those situations because when we get taken advantage of or we get lied to it's not a fun experience right so I'm trying to help you overcome that so you don't have to deal with that stuff in the future okay the first thing that I want you to be mindful is the way that they carry themselves how do they walk into the room how do they present themselves are they all put together do they seem to you know feel good in their own skin you can tell when somebody's happy and being in their own skin because you know they look like they're happy they look like they feel good and they look like they don't feel like a fish out of water right on the other side do they look too shovelled do they look kind of thrown together do they seem to mope into a room you know these are things that you can get an understanding of someone's personal feelings about themselves you know how much they really care about themselves and how much time they really spend on you know personal hygiene personal health and and personal self-care the next thing that I want you to pay attention to you is the way that they look at you when they're talking okay when they are talking are they looking into your eyes right but they folk are they locked into your eyes is it a little too much a little too little do they seem to be talking and looking over your head do they seem to be looking down looking off to the side okay all very interesting now when somebody's not looking in your eyes it doesn't mean that they're necessarily lying okay I know that I've read a lot of things online and they're like if they if they're hiding their hands are lying if they're not looking in your eyes they're lying it's not always true okay some things you have to really really pay attention to you because sometimes they might be looking right into your eyes and sometimes not that can also mean that one they believe in what they're talking about or they don't believe in what they're talking about or they feel uncomfortable or insecure about what they're talking about or they even feel maybe insecure about their own abilities okay so there's a lot of things that go into this so the idea of them just lying automatically because they're not looking you dead in the eye that's not true another thing that I want you to pay attention to is how do they look when you're talking to them okay and that's interesting too because when you see people's cues facial expressions how much they're really paying attention you know are they really paying attention to what you have to say or they kind of looking all over are they fidgeting what's happening there because that can also put into consideration how much they're listening right how mindful they are and really how engaged they are in the conversation the next thing that I want you to observe is how they treat the other people around you okay let's take for example that you're in a restaurant how do they speak to the waitstaff when somebody's serving water how do they respond to they say thank you they not say anything do they almost act like when the waitstaff comes that they're interrupting today I kind of shun them how do they respond because when you're dealing with somebody that you either want to hire right you want to be a friend with or you possibly want to date you want to be around someone that's pretty open right somebody that cares about other people and shows that not just putting an act on for you and what I found is that when people treat waitstaff rudely okay when they do this this is a big sign of the way they treat other people it's a very narcissistic sign as well okay it's saying I'm better than you because you're serving me at a restaurant okay they might not think that consciously but subconsciously they're acting like that so I really want you to think about that because you don't want somebody just putting on an air or an act to get you to feel comfortable around them all these small things that are done on the side those are the things you really need to be paying attention to because it really shows you the true intent of the individual at the core especially the way they respond to people that they see is not being important to their life the next thing that I want you to be aware of is are they sitting still or or they fidgeting okay when you ask them a question do they sit still and answer it or do they fidget as they're answering the question so there's lots of things to take into consideration your eyes and ears right have to be open okay so when you're paying attention to this obviously if somebody's fidgeting okay especially if you've been there for a really long time they could just have attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyper disorder they're tired of sitting there they've been sitting there too long they're ready to go okay that's definitely one caveat okay but if this is just you've been in the conversation for a few minutes or maybe twenty thirty minutes if some if you're asking a question and somebody's fidgeting or fidgeting when they're trying to answer that means that they don't really feel comfortable with the answer they're presenting or they're worried that you're gonna accept the answer right they also might be questioning the validity of the answer that they've given okay so be somebody that's fidgeting like that that's something to really pay it's instance you know I'm a person that if you sit me in a meeting for two hours I'm gonna eventually start fidgeting because I need to get up and move around okay that's a totally different scenario so remember to if you're mindful of a meeting and you really want to get to know what somebody's about you know small incremental meetings can be very powerful because you see somebody at different situations at different times of the day more often so eventually if they're hiding something they're gonna eventually blow their cover okay so thinking about that is pretty important the next nonverbal cue that I want you to pay attention to is when they're not talking and you're talking right in the conversation what are their facial expressions look like very interesting because you can get a lot out of somebody the way that they're interpreting what you're saying okay the way that they're listening how intently are they listening it was interesting I want to give an example years ago I was in a conversation with somebody that I was about to hire or at least I thought I was and I didn't I didn't hire them but every time I would speak they would make this really wild contorted look on their face and it was like a frown kind of mixed up in something else I can't even explain it but I finally realized I had to tell this person that they look this way when they when I was speaking and I brought it up I said do you understand how you look when I'm speaking to you and I think you probably look this way with every single person that's talking to you and I said just look in the mirror and pay it the way that that looks it was so contorted it was almost like everything I said this person like wanted to kill me for it okay like their eye they had a problem with everything I was saying well it was funny because that same person came back to me a few weeks later they were a little kind of weirded out that I had brought that up but they said you know what I've realized it I've realized that the way that I that my facial expression goes when somebody's talking to me was across the board the same and I was wondering why people didn't want to spend large amounts of time with me or didn't want to have those conversations with me because they thought I was judging them the whole time and I wasn't okay so I want you to think about that when somebody is looking at you a certain way is it because they agree with what you're saying they disagree with what you're saying what's going on or are they completely mindless in the fact that they don't realize how they're projecting themselves okay and that's something to think about too because in order to be a master of our life we have to know how we are projecting ourselves how we come into a room how we look how we present ourselves and we're not talking about being fake but in order to really master who we are we have to master our emotions our feelings and be honest and so when you're catching these little nonverbal cues it can really show you someone's intent and it can also show you if somebody's mindful or not mindful and it can also show you how important what they're saying to you is and how believable they believe it to be true okay so these are things that you want to think about in the next video I'm going to explain a technique that I started using over 15 years ago okay and it's awesome and it helps you to understand people's intent and trustworthiness and you can start practicing in a place that you would never think you could practice in and if you practice that way you can do it anytime with anybody so I'm going to explaining that in the next video and in the meantime please like this video and please subscribe to the channel if you haven't already and you know share this with your friends your family some of your co-workers right and if you have a technique that you use to really get to the core of somebody and really feel them out put that in the comments section below because I definitely just wanted to touch on some things I didn't want to make this video long and intense but I wanted to begin this conversation and so I'm looking forward to getting some of the information that you can share with our community as well that has helped you to dodge a bullet to overcome those red flags and jump out of something before you get hurt or taking advantage of hope this video has helped you and don't forget to live your true life you

Channel: Ashley Berges

Views: 17,812

Rating: 4.9341087 out of 5

Keywords: nonverbal cues, red flags, toxic relationships, honesty, trust, psychology, health and wellness, mental health, Ashley Berges, alternative health, success tips, manipulation, life coaching, life coach

Id: WwJwp2IJ6-0

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 05 2020