Identify the Fake Friends in your Life

one of the best things we can have in the world is an amazing friendship we have great friends they're like family or even better than family for some of us but what happens when we have a friend around us that's not really our friend how do we figure it out what are the signs that really dictate that somebody that you're spending time with is not your friend [Music] hi friends Ashley Burgess here and today we're talking about the signs that indicate that someone is not your friend you know it to me friendships are amazing but I've been down that road before where I've spent time with somebody who just wasn't my friend and I didn't really know it until I really stepped back and the friendship had already kind of broken up and I started remembering all the telltale signs that this person really didn't want to be there really wasn't my friend and I started realizing as well that I was doing way more for the friendship you know reaching out often trying to include them but when I look back in hindsight they were not including me so let's talk about that let's get into the signs that indicate that someone that you're spending time with that you think is your friend really isn't the first indication that you want to be aware of it someone is not your friend is when you call them or text them their response or their answer on the phone is extremely short I mean if you say hey how you doing what's going on they're like fine if you text and ask them how their day is they say good but they never ask you any questions and it really follow up on anything so everything is really short and it seems like you're the one having to carry the call or carrying the text conversation and they're adding very little to that secondly they're never making plans with you and if they actually do make plans they bail out at the last minute I think that's pretty self-explanatory if you've had that happen it's overwhelming when you're trying to make plans with somebody and they're never around or actually with that one time that you finally make plans and you're looking forward to it and they cancel the last minute the third reason is a little more personal you actually feel in your gut an uneasiness about the friendship so every time you reach out to talk to them or call them or if you actually are in person with them you just kind of feel uneasy you don't feel very comfortable around them and the relationship kind of feels a little strained the fourth reason is they normally only reach out when they need something from you and so perhaps you've been texting or calling with no response and if there was a response it was a short response and then one day you wake up and you're getting a call from them and you're really really happy about it you answer the call and they're saying hey how you doing what's going on and within a couple of seconds they say hey I need a favor from you or hey can I borrow this or hey can you do this for me and now you're kind of recognizing like this is the first time you've heard from them in a long time and not only that but they actually need something from you the fifth sign that someone is not truly your friend is that you go on Facebook or Instagram or snapchat and you see your friend always hanging out out and about with all these other people that you know possibly but you did not get an invitation and what's usually hard is that you've already reached out a dozen times and that person tells you how busy they are and how they don't have enough time to go out but then they're you are looking at social media realizing that they were just out that night and the only thing that was missing was you and number six like I was saying earlier oftentimes they call you to get something from you but in this case they don't really respond to a text or call unless you're offering them something of value to them okay I think a lot of us have already played that codependency card many of us have dealt with manipulation and we begin to realize that the only time we hear from that person is when they need something and so I think instinctively many of us begin to see if we were to invite them to something that might be an expensive concert ticket or something like that if they'll go and it seems that if you have something of monetary value or something that they want all of a sudden their busyness is no longer busyness and they're calling you to make sure that they're confirmed that they going with you to the concert to the event or whatever it is that they want the next sign is that you are making all the effort to spend time with them and they're making absolutely none it's a huge sign and it's interesting how often times we don't see that when we're right in the middle of it you know we want to be their friends so bad though we don't realize that it's really become a one-way street and this is something to really identify early on because these types of non friendships just they just take away from our time here on this planet and we're giving all this good stuff from ourselves but we're not getting anything back in return the next sign that somebody is definitely not your friend is that every time you see them and talk to them and ask them to go do anything there's always this long excuse there's always I'm so busy and I have this to do on this to do and this to do and this to do and it's like this can response you know and they're giving you some time into the future like next year that you can hang out and it's interesting how we kind of go along with this for a while until we realize that they have all the time in the world but none of it's gonna be dedicated to you and last but not least because there's a lot of other signs about somebody not truly being your friend I think these are really really strong signs the last one is that when you're with them there's never any deep conversations okay they don't really want to connect with you they want to keep things very surfacing okay and this is very important because when someone does not want to really get deep or connect with you that means that they don't really want to get to know you but it also might mean that they really don't have that depth as well and so if you're looking for a true friend if any of these ring ring true more than one several of them you're dealing with somebody that probably doesn't really want to hang out with you and definitely doesn't respect you and definitely doesn't respect your time I know that some of these signs might be very obvious and some of them not so obvious but the reason why I wanted to do the video today is that friendships are very important to us some friendships can be stronger than family ever was and the last thing I want you doing is spending time with people that don't care about you and don't value you if we're good people doing the right thing and giving to other people and caring about others we should also find people that actually care and do things for us okay and it has to be reciprocal and so what I'm saying here is you might be watching this video saying man a lot of the people I thought were my friends really aren't and I've been there okay and I usually have to like I say I have to tend the garden meaning I have to kind of weed out the garden because oftentimes you don't realize that you have a couple of these people in your camp so to speak and you're giving all this time and effort and they're not giving anything and so what I found that I've been able to do is even though it hurts and I kind of feel used I just take a step back and I try to just let go of the relationship and what I do is I just kind of immerse myself and what I need to work on and what I need to do but usually good people will come around and so I know sometimes when you're surrounded by these types of people it gets overwhelming you begin to wonder if the world is just a mean place but it's not it's just finding the right people that understand you and vice versa and people that will add to your life and you can add to their life not just takers and so I hope this video has helped you and in the comments section below I'd love to know of other signs that you've seen in people that aren't your friends because some of us had friends in our life for years until they began to demonstrate these types of signs to us right and it's like all of a sudden they'd had enough of the friendship and they were moving on they were like dumping us as friends perhaps there's some signs that you would like to add to this because I know this is not all of them and I'd like to hear some of your own experiences as well as perhaps how did you exit stage right did you just stop calling and texting or was there more to the story please share the channel with your friends and family and in the mean time don't forget to live your true life authentic content thought-provoking conversations realize celebrities talking about overcoming adversity and triumphing and success as well as the pitfalls that they've had to overcome having those real conversations that are intriguing and purposeful that really lead us to having a more fulfilled and healthier life if you're looking for content just like this you need to check out the celebrity perspective with Ashley Burgess and live your true life you

Channel: Ashley Berges

Views: 14,088

Rating: 4.9678283 out of 5

Keywords: relationships, friends, fake friends, fake people, self awareness, self improvement, self help, life coaching, life coach, Ashley Berges, how to, knowledge is power, real friends, backstabbing, Joel Adams

Id: ka_NxmADsRU

Length: 9min 39sec (579 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 22 2018