Taking revenge out on a nurse I said to deal with them like occasionally Or maybe they don't go through because welcome back. Thanks for joining me this week So I just want to start off by saying I am incredibly Humbled of with all the comments that I've been getting, you know All of the likes all of the shares all the comments you guys are loving these videos I'm loving that you're loving it because I love Making them, you know every week when I start thinking about you know, what should we talk about this week? What should we tackle? I mean you guys are really Dictating this channel and I really love that because I want to create stuff and make stuff that You all want more information on or you need help with so definitely keep it coming I just love all the feedback and I love how quickly the channel is growing and it's just it's It's such a humbling feeling and it's I'm so blessed to be doing something that I absolutely love. So, thank you Thank you for all my subscribers out there And if you haven't already don't forget to hit the subscribe button, but let's get into this week's video. So I'm really excited I have been getting a lot of comments on narcissism and people are definitely wanting to see more videos on it So ask and thou shalt receive so here we are. So this week. I got a lot of questions about how to kind of take revenge or how to defeat or just you know, a lot of people that are going through these painful experiences that you have to go through when dealing with a narcissist and you know People are angry and people are sad and people are confused and they want to see someone suffer for what they had done to them so in this video, I want to give you some things to think about in terms of how to Take revenge on a narcissist how to defeat that narcissus. So most likely if you want information on taking revenge out on a narcissist or how to defeat a Narcissist then most likely you've been hurt by one so either you have someone in your Family that maybe you can't just discard completely and go no contact with you have to see them And so you are looking for some maybe tips on how to kind of beat them at their own game since I have to deal with them like occasionally or Maybe you you know We're discarded and now you're so angry by the discard that now you want to take revenge out on this narcissist, you know Maybe they cheated on you. Maybe they lied to you. Maybe they stole money whatever it is and so you want more information on that and really they're kind of I'm gonna answer both because I think they just intertwine with each other so you know if you're if you've been discarded by a narcissist right off the bat It is an awful experience to have to go through because you never see the discard coming. You're not really aware of you know that it's about to happen it just all of a sudden happens and Nine times out of ten. Actually, probably I would say 10 times out of 10 The narcissist has a new source of supply lined up ready to go. So either they cheated on you. They had an affair But they have someone kind of waiting in the wings that they've been you know Conforming to kind of hope be their new supply and really working at this new supply as they've been discarding you And so now you become well aware of what the relationship was what happened and you were discarded and now you want to like seek revenge revenge on that person and Something that I want to offer you and again, I'm not downplaying what you have been through. I'm not downplaying the anger and the frustration And all of those feelings that you're feeling you have to feel those feelings, right? We have to learn how to feel them But also move through them in a healthy way and get past this experience the best revenge you can take on a narcissist that has discarded you is to completely Move on with your life and I know that is not what you want to hear I know you excuse me my computer I know you want me to tell you that like if you go do this and you go flaunt yourself all over social media Give them a taste of their own medicine While maybe that might perk them a tiny bit a tiny bit It's not gonna affect them the way you want it to affect them. The best revenge is just On because the more you linger in the anger The more the narcissist is still actually kind of getting high off you and is and you're actually just another source You're still a source of supply because you're giving them attention. You're giving them negative attention and a narcissist wants attention No matter no matter whether it's negative or positive attention so the only way to really beat a narcissist at their own game or take revenge on them is to Live your life as if they never existed when you can do that, I mean Seriously, it is the most empowering thing that you can do because number one it just goes to show that they didn't break you it Just goes to show that you put yourself first. So your own happiness Comes first before any negativity or hatred or blame or whatever that you want to put on that person if that person discarded you you need to actually Take a step back and look at the bigger picture and say wow. This person actually did me a really big favor So thank you so much for discarding me and when you can get to that place that's a great place to be because that means that you fully have taken all of the emotion out of the situation and you've looked at it as an outsider and said Yes, I'm angry for the discard. Yes. I'm angry for maybe what you did to me lying or whatever it is that you did Um, but the reality is I don't want you actually like you weren't right for me You wouldn't have treated me with love and respect. You don't know what either of those things are so when you're able to kind of get to that place and Realize that the discard is not a bad thing. And when people get hung up on the discard, it's because Their egos are involved which of course it's painful. It's hurtful you deeply loved someone you were invested in a relationship and you are coming to the realization that the other person wasn't and people that have been you know with someone for a very long period of time people that have had children with a narcissist people that have been married to one and then after 20 years all of a sudden this person wakes up and discard I mean that is heartbreaking absolutely heartbreaking and I am not downplaying that and there is a process that you have to go through after the discard of grieving of Understanding of learning of educating yourself on everything that you've been through that's the healthy way to kind of move through this but when you get to the place of wanting revenge of wanting to You know beat this person at their own game. It's just never going to happen because in order to beat someone at their own game you have to Be on their level and you're not on their level. You don't have a personality disorder You're not a completely unhealthy, you know surface level person that doesn't have feelings chances are you're actually the complete opposite which is why you attracted the narcissist and which is why the Narcissist was attracted to you because you were a good source of supply to them. So the way to Defeat them is to move through your life as if they didn't exist now again I'm I just want to reiterate because I feel like this is so so important. This is not about discarding your feelings of hurt of sadness of Being upset by what has happened to you. Those are all valid valid feelings to feel the point of me saying all of this is for you to understand that when someone can just discard a relationship the way a narcissist does that means they were never really in the Relationship to begin with they were never in it the way you were in it. And again that is a painful realization to have But it is one. That is really Powerful because if you can understand that and you can learn from that experience and learn, why did I track this person? Why did I maybe deal with their? abusive or unhealthy behavior for as long as I did when you start really diving into this stuff when you Learn that maybe you were codependent Maybe you had no boundaries and you didn't know how to enforce them that you didn't know how to stand up for yourself All of these things will serve you in life and I love that I love hearing the comments and meeting the people and talking to the people That have gone through the abuse and are on the other side Because it can happen you can actually be really thankful For the experience that you had to go through because it made you into the person that you are on that other side That is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow That's where we really wanted to be before the narcissist But unfortunately, we took a detour we have to learn a couple lessons and that's just life So I just wanted to just kind of put that out there because I don't want to get any comments and I'm definitely not invalidating everyone's feelings and experiences because they're a hundred percent valid now in order to You know be a narcissist at their own game You like I said you have to kind of be at their level and you're not so the only way to really, you know I guess hurt a narcissist would be to not give them supply and like I said that can be negative supply or that can be positive supply and obviously, you know If someone discarded you then we're not gonna give them positive supply But even if you didn't go through a discard and you're just looking to get some information on how to kind of beat this person Because maybe you're still married to a narcissist, you know, maybe your mother's in our success whatever it is But you have to understand This person and what they're really looking for and take away the things that they're seeking So they're seeking supply they're seeking attention They're seeking information Narcissists are always seeking information. They always want to know what's going on with you Especially in the beginning phases of a relationship with a narcissist They're learning everything about you because they want to know where your wounds are They want to know what you're vulnerable to because those are the things that they're then going to Cut you're at your knees with those are the things that they're gonna hurt you with So if you have an abandonment issue and they know that Get ready to be cheated on get ready to be left and discarded like just abruptly That just what they do in order to hurt their victims, like I said If you want to defeat our narcissus the best way is to obviously go no contact and move on with your life entirely but if you can't then it's just a matter of Learning how to set boundaries for yourself with this person. So understanding who this person is We're not telling them anything about us. We're not giving them any information Good or bad that's going on in our lives. We are completely blah to this person So we don't want to be a source of supply We don't want this person to come to us with anything whether it's good or bad We don't even want to have small talk with them And if you have to communicate with the narcissist you want it to be as quick as possible So we're getting right to the point and then we're moving on So the next thing is in order to kind of defeat this person. Like I said, you can't give them supply that's basically the rule if you want to defeat a Narcissist you either have to completely move on if there's been a discard or you cannot give them supply in any way shape or form So that's why like I just said we're being very blah We're not talking about anything with them whether it's negative or positive the next thing is we you have to learn how to manage your emotions with a narcissist because they're going to say something that's Going to cut you at your knees or they're gonna say something that's hurtful or that's ridiculous You know there are the types of people that will say things and you'll think do they just say that that is awful or that is disgusting or that is Like not even okay and especially if you're dealing with like a covert and our success because they're not gonna be overtly narcissistic and Super ginormous ego is just coming through. They're gonna be like sneaky about it so you're gonna think that this person is a good person but every now and then they're gonna say something and you're gonna go Did you say that like that's just weird But you know so the point is is just you've learned how to manage your emotions with with these people because When they're not when when you've been so good and you're not giving them any supply and you've all of a sudden become blah so to speak they're gonna notice that especially if you've always been a good source of supply and that's when they're gonna Are kind of picking and poking to see if they can get a rise out of you in any way so they can get some Attention so they can get some supply so they're gonna do things that are hurtful They're gonna say things that are a little passive-aggressive and you have to come with absolutely no emotion and that's can be really hard to do especially depending on who the person is and You know in the situation there's so many different situations whether it's an ex-spouse that you're co-parenting with or someone You're married - that's a narcissist or a family member, but it's just a matter of keeping your emotions in check so understanding that this person is a bully a narcissist is a bully at their core and the best way to defeat a bully is to ignore the bully is to know that the bully doesn't bother you and Just kind of moving on with your life And yes, of course, we maybe set a boundary but Especially if you have to be around a narcissist I get ready for that boundary to be tested because that's just what they're gonna do you're gonna create a boundary that's completely valid and Fair and healthy and the narcissist just doesn't care because the nurses this is just selfish you could tell them that the sky's blue and they're gonna say no it's purple and they'll look you dead in the eyes and they Really believe that the sky is purple. They're not about the facts and what's fair and what's right They just want what they want whenever they want it so the overall message that I want to get across to everyone out there is to Understand that the best way to get revenge on a narcissist the best way to defeat a narcissist is to really give them Absolutely, no supply because that is what they're looking for And when you can realize that that supply is as much negative as it is positive that's absolutely huge because if they have someone in their life that they're getting Positive attention from then that's amazing Of course, their ego is, you know inflated and they're just, you know riding on cloud nine but they are drama queens or drama kings and they're so self-absorbed and self-entitled and Self-righteous that you can't go toe-to-toe you can't truly the only way to hurt a narcissist is to take away the thing that the narcissus absolutely needs and that supply and When you can just you know, speak to them with no emotion when you can give them you know Nothing, whether it's positive or negative. That's a great feeling it's so self empowering and it just means that you've truly moved on from all of the Toxic negative energy that this person has and you've almost created a bubble around yourself So now you can go toe-to-toe with anyone because no matter who the person is or how toxic it it They are you number one Don't need to take revenge on anyone else because whatever they did to hurt you you Number one understand that that had nothing to do with you and that has everything to do with them You realize that if someone can hurt you in such a horrific way that You don't want that person in your life So you win you actually win as much as the narcissist wants to think that they won You won because now you don't have to have this person in your life and if you do have to have this person in your life occasionally or whatever you're learning the tools in order to manage that relationship Yourself and these are all great things these are all great takeaways in order for you to stay healthy and have your energy and your vibration in check and you know not care about the nonsense of what the narcissist is doing because any flaunting of a new relationship or any you know, passive-aggressive things that they say or Really a ton of things has nothing to do with you That's all them Needing attention and you just have to look at it Essentially as you know a five year old that's like screaming and kicking and pouting in the corner acting ridiculous and childish And you just don't engage in that behavior. So I hope that helped kind of clarify some stuff I know for some people it may not be the information that you wanted to hear. But I think that it is the healthy information that you need to hear and it's the stuff that Will help you to move on from this experience rather than lingering in the muddy Mucky waters that you've maybe been in because of of course your hurt your frustrations But really learning that you need to manage your hurt and frustration yourself and learn how to heal from all of that and really love yourself through that process and Just letting all of that stuff go and again, all of this is a practice You're not gonna walk up to a narcissist tomorrow and be completely unemotional and be completely blah, you know chances Are you are an amazing human being too good? Sometimes as my mother would always say that I was and You have to learn how to protect yourself and so I hope I've given you some Kind of TED bits to protect yourself when you have to go toe-to-toe with a narcissist So thank you guys so much again for all the likes and subscribes. I'm just loving it Don't forget to hit subscribe down below And don't forget to give this video a thumbs up if you liked it, and I will see you next time
