Now emotional abuse and physical abuse they use their own feelings They can't really handle a lot or a person and so they react and it's welcome back Thanks for joining me this week so in this week's video I wanted to go over something that is really serious and something that I don't think our society Puts as much emphasis on as it should Something that we don't really all talk about something that we were never really educated on when we were growing up And that's emotional abuse you know we know physical abuse that is black and white but emotional abuse is so much more gray and trickier to spot Especially if you were never taught what emotional abuse is so in this video. I want to go over what emotional abuse is and How you can know if someone is emotionally abusing you and that's in any relationship friendship family member? romantic relationship After this video you'll be able to know Whether or not certain people in your life are using these tactics of abuse on you And how to stop it from happening or recognize that it's happening now if you've already subscribed to this channel Thank you so much This channel is so important to me and the point of me creating this was to help Educate people on things that I know I was never taught growing up and Really to help teach you these different things in life. Whether it's narcissistic abuse emotional abuse You know how to get out of a divorce and heal from a past relationship how to deal with betrayal how to regain your self-confidence how to learn how to love yourself for maybe the first time all of these things that I talk about in these videos Are really to help you educate you to increase your self-confidence and for you to be the best and healthiest version of yourself So let's get right into the video So most of the time when we hear about abuse we usually hear about physical abuse and physical Abuse is black and white you know it's someone that is physically abusing you now emotional abuse and physical abuse They basically are under the same umbrella and that is the person's trying to gain control over another person And that's why they're doing these things so a lot of the times someone that is abusive can't handle their own feelings they can't really handle a lot of normal things in life and so they react or They want control over a situation or a person and they can't handle not having control over a situation or a person and so they react and With these different tactics whether it's physical abuse or emotional abuse, and I'll go over that later in the video but the point of Abuse like I said is to control so while someone that is physically abusing a person is controlling them by physical force Someone that's emotionally abusive is controlling the person with brainwashing You know diminishing of someone's self-esteem and self-confidence? Really getting into the mind of a person in order to really have control over that person so it's understandable why? emotional abuse is Not protected in a court of law and why it's difficult to spot sometimes Because there's nothing there's no physical scar on us right all the scars are mental all the scars are are in our minds from What someone has done to us and this is why this topic is so? important because What someone does to emotionally abuse you creates? So many other issues in your life, you know and I am NOT downplaying physical abuse whatsoever they are both Horrific things to have to go through Emotional abuse is just something that I hope our society continues to talk about to educate each other on so we can protect ourselves From these types of people so one of the things also to understand with someone. That's emotionally abusive they were Emotionally abused as a child. These are all learned behaviors and same thing with someone that physically abuses abuses someone else It's the same thing with someone who is a narcissist someone who is a psychopath I mean all of these things are created in childhood the percentage of people that are born with severe severe mental Illnesses like that is very very small a lot of these things Yes are could possibly be within our DNA, but even that I don't my personal opinion I don't think is enough to create a quote monster That's so to speak so I think a lot of these people that are abusive physical abuse emotional abuse narcissist sociopaths. You know crazy people Things something happened to them that created this inside of them And it's the same thing with someone who is emotionally emotional abuser They learned these things growing up you know their parents or the people that raised them or whoever they were around They may not have saw all of these tactics, which I'm gonna share with you coming up But they saw enough to learn what emotional abuse is and now they go about life Just thinking this is the norm and this is how we should be living so the first thing is someone That's an emotional abuser is someone that is Constantly testing your boundaries. They do not like the word. No they don't accept no for an answer They're constantly pushing and pushing on you to get what they want out of you They're using manipulation on you in the midst of you know testing your boundaries, and I made a whole video And I'll link it. I think it's right here I'll link it above On how to deal with boundaries how to enforce a boundary how to know when a boundary has been Violated you know and what do we do when someone does repeatedly? violate our boundaries, and this is something for me that was Absolutely huge, I never knew how to set boundaries. I kind of knew how to set them I didn't always know how to enforce them and some people don't even know when a boundary has even been violated and that is You know just boundaries 101 we have to know right away when it then and when a boundary has even been Violated before we can even do anything about it so someone That's an emotional abuser can seek out those weak people. They know the people that have low or poor boundaries whatsoever and they seek them out either in a romantic relationship friendship things of that sort so Definitely someone that is constantly testing boundaries is someone That's emotionally abusive the next thing is the silent treatment people that are emotional abusers Love the silent treatment because again if they know you're codepen Person if you're a weak person if you have low self-esteem by giving you the silent treatment that Worries you you don't like that feeling right like you don't like the feeling of someone not being okay with you Especially if you're codependent So they love giving the silent treatment to people because it's their way of almost punishing you in a sense and again they find these people they find the weak the poor boundaries low self-esteem a Codependent type of people to punish in in these ways so someone that's going to someone has an emotional abuser That's gonna give the silent treatment. They know that if I give you the silent treatment. It's gonna work You where is someone that is healthy and has um a good sense of self Self-confidence loves themselves if they get the trunk silent-treatment from someone else Okay, you can give me the silent treatment. That's completely unhealthy and when you're ready to talk We'll talk about that, but it won't bug the person where someone that is maybe a little codependent It'll really eat them up inside You know not having this person speak to them So that's just another form of punishment is the silent treatment the next thing is someone who is passive-aggressive someone who is passive-aggressive, who is Constantly saying these things that are not full-blown insults But they're just those little tiny digs and just you know saying things that are just a little hurtful and then kind of walking away from it those types of people, that's Emotional abuse right there so but you have to be able to spot these things you have to be able to Recognize these things so when you start learning what each of these things Are you will stop you will start to spot it when you come across people in your life Whether it's a parent, or cousin or sister or partner or friend? Whatever boss it doesn't matter You'll be able to spot this stuff right away, so someone that is always Passive-aggressive is someone that is definitely an emotional abuser the next sign that you're dealing with someone who's emotionally abusive is they always Disregard your feelings your needs your opinions They just don't matter to them so They're just so self-absorbed And just wanting control for every situation that they can't hear your feelings or your opinions. They might actually Listen to them, but they can't hear them. They can't sit in space for you and Really go back and forth and go toe-to-toe with you Regarding what you think and how you feel so it's always about them so they just kind of either completely ignore what you're saying or they just Disregard it and bring it back to their needs their wants their opinion. You know validating someone's feelings is so important and Someone who's emotionally abusive? They never were validated growing up, and I talk about this a lot in my channel in terms of children It's so important that we validate what our children think and what they feel as even even if we don't agree with it right so even if we don't agree with it or we don't understand why a Three-year-old is behaving the way. They are because we forget that they're three and they don't have a ton of logic We still have to validate those feelings so and this helps even in relationships any Relationship whatsoever a lot of the times a lot of conflict starts between partners or friendships or whatever is when? The person doesn't feel validated They don't feel like they're being heard they don't feel like they're their partner's understanding them so by validating Someone's feelings you know even if it's bruising your ego even if you didn't mean to say what you said Or you didn't mean for it to come off that way still validating what your partner's saying is absolutely huge to number one deflect any Arguments and blow ups or fights, but also it really you know you're holding a space for that other person And if you can do it for that person, then that person's gonna be able to do it for you And that's when true communication actually starts healthy communication Starts so validating someone's feelings whether or not you agree with them is really really important towards healthy relationships and when you become Healthy and whole by yourself when you have healed from codependency you will be able to hold a space for someone else and Validate their feelings even if it's thing that's bruising your own ego Or even if it's something that you know you didn't mean to do But they took it that way you won't get so offended by what they're saying you'll validate how they feel and then you go to the next step in the Conversation and move forward with whatever it is that you're talking about, but you hold that space for that person I can't tell you how important that is in any type of relationship? And when you're able to do that not only are you helping your relationship? You're also that means that you're at a really great Space yourself where you've really dropped your ego a hundred percent And you're healthy and you're whole and you can really sit there and be there for that person and listen to them and validate how They feel and not take anything that they're saying personally the next thing is they completely ignore you sometimes when you're speaking so This is a sign of emotional abuse um I don't always know if it's done on a conscious level I don't think so because a lot of these abusive tactics that someone will use I don't think are malicious and consciously done I think it's just a subconscious programming that they've learned In their childhood and throughout growing up that they then use on other people to control the situation So I don't think that it's something that's consciously done But someone that can completely ignore you when you're speaking that is a sign of emotional abuse But of course there are times when we just don't hear someone or when our mind is going in different direction And we're not focusing but for the most part. You know when someone's actually speaking near you you can hear them and by not acknowledging That they spoke that is abusive and again Someone that completely ignores you when you're speaking that goes toe-to-toe with someone that gives you the silent treatment Someone that doesn't validate your feelings so basically someone that doesn't Respect you in any way shape or form You know doesn't respect what you have to say doesn't want to listen to what you have to say doesn't want to validate How you feel you know? That's not someone that is looking for a mutual relationship That is a one-way street that that person is on and they run the show and again. It's just a person. That's trying to control The situation, and they're they're essentially abusing you But a lot of people don't even recognize that something like that is even emotional abuse You know I once knew someone that every time they did that they would say well. I'm an idiot They would say it constantly and these weren't situations where this person was watching TV Or this person was working, and you know conversation. I was starting a conversation this was like clearly We're in the car driving or we're doing something that were near each other and you you can hear that I'm speaking and They would they wouldn't respond and it always Infuriated me because it was so Disrespectful and people that are emotional abusers. Do not respect other people so it always Confused me every time this person would say well I'm an idiot And I remember just thinking in my head like you can't even acknowledge That I spoke and that you didn't say anything and there was never an apology It was just another tactic that this person used to be emotionally abusive so essentially this person was just making an excuse for their bad behavior for their abusive behavior and Unfortunately, I took it because I didn't I felt that it was abusive I felt that it's disrespectful, but again. I didn't always put two and two together. I didn't know a lot about emotional abuse I didn't know about these things so I kind of just always like let things slide and then when you start letting things slide They start piling up. You know things don't ever go away You're just sweeping things under the rug and pretty soon You have too much stuff under the rug and not only not a lot of rug left so the next thing is manipulation and this is An emotional abusers best friend and I made a video all about manipulation It's done actually so well. I love the video and people are really loving it and again. I'll link it. I think it's up here I hope um But I'll link it above you guys to check out definitely go check that out and definitely go check out the video Regarding boundaries and how to set boundaries because those are two really really important videos and important topics, but anyways Someone that's emotionally abusive is a manipulator 101 they are highly highly manipulative and when they're manipulating you and Then they're shaming you for saying no and making you feel bad for saying no again all Emotional abuse all tactics to kind of throw you off your game and make you feel guilty In order for them to get what they want out of you that's all this is Motional someone that's emotionally abusive is just a person that's looking to control They're looking to control you they're looking to control the situation They're looking to control the outcome and in order to have control They have they have learned certain tactics in order for them to get what they want and in order for them to control the situation along with manipulation You know ask someone's manipulating you if they're not getting what they want out of you They've begun shaming you and making you feel bad for saying No They've used guilt which is another form of emotional abuse In order to get what they want then they're gonna start getting nasty, and I talked about this in my video Regarding manipulation, but now they start getting nasty So now is when they start threatening you now is when they start verbally abusing you You know you're too sensitive, and it doesn't have to be these nasty nasty things that someone says about you. It can be you know Passive-aggressive things or it can be something that is just a little hurtful Just a little sting to kind of get you it doesn't have to be like Full-blown yelling and screaming and like swearing at each other it can just be these little tidbit of things of like you're too emotional You're too sensitive You know I always do things for you. I'm always here for you. You don't do anything for me You know what am I gonna do now if no one's gonna help me just all these different tactics To get what they want out of you so as the threatenings coming on all of these all this backlash, that's coming your way because you've set a boundary and you've said no to this person or you said how what you think and how you feel and it's totally different than what they think and how they feel you know here's where the true bullying starts happening so emotional abuse are Definitely bullies in their own right and again I made a video as well And I will link it above um Just how to deal with a bully and how to get them to just kind of leave you alone and stop bringing up the subject But I'll link that above definitely go check that one out as well But they're bullies they're just people that want to nitpick and pick at you until you Essentially just fall apart and give them what they want you know For for the abuse that these people give I will give them credit in the sense that they don't give up these people are extremely Relentless they are completely selfish. They are self-absorbed and Again, it's all stuff that they learned. It's all behaviors that they saw growing up and again They may not have realized that they were in an abusive family or an abusive situation growing up But they were and they learned how to be abuse of themselves that children learn based off what they're seeing not Always what we're telling them to do so if we're telling them to be respectful of other people of women of men of whatever But you know I'm a father and I'm always disrespectful to women then You're not gonna. Have a child that is going to respect women because that's not what was seen in the household, so Definitely being aware of how we behave in educating ourselves on these things number one is huge towards raising Healthy kids healthy adults this next generation. That's coming up. You know we want to stop the abuse from happening Well it starts at these young ages of teaching these kids healthy ways to be and Also, you know learning about emotional abuse in these tactics. It's so important for ourselves You know we're constantly meeting new people you know we're either in a relationship or meeting new person at work or meeting new friends people are always coming and going out of our lives and Even if they're not and we have people in our lives such as parents and cousins or family members that we've had forever learning how to Teach people what we will tolerate is really important and having the self-confidence in the self love in order to do that You know money can't buy that kind of stuff and that really affects every aspect of your life The next thing is gas lighting and this again all ties in with Manipulation and guilt and shame and and all of those types of tactics is gas lighting so gas lighting is when you know you Feel a certain way or you know something happened and someone else is making you doubt your reality and again when you're not healthy and whole and You don't trust yourself. You don't trust your intuition You don't really love yourself. You don't honor yourself. You are going to be manipulated You are going to allow someone to Gaslight you and basically make you second-guess what you think and how you feel? But when you are really self loving you stand in how you feel no matter what anyone else says and it might actually You might feel crazy. You might be like okay? Am I really thinking this and that's part of the game that they're playing they want you to ask yourself these questions But just know that the minute you ask yourself that question You are thinking it. You don't ever have to doubt yourself because no one else needs to believe you But you really and one of the things that I want to stress in this video And I know I've gone over a lot of things in terms of emotional abuse, and I didn't really even dig into each individual thing I've definitely started making you know one video on each such subject for sure because I think each individual subject is really Important and I think you have to know what manipulation is and you have to know what being shamed looks like and what? Gaslighting entails and all of these things that I'm gonna keep going on with the videos in terms of emotional abuse but the overall picture to this video and the reason why I wanted to make is because if you have been in a Relationship that is emotionally abusive whether you can stand here and know that you are in one or whether Maybe one of your parents was emotionally abusive and as a child You know now maybe you have anxiety or you have post-traumatic stress, or you're depressed Or you know you don't have any self-confidence. You don't know how you how to love yourself We don't have to in horrific Situations growing up in order to have abuse You know a parent that never Validates their child and what their child is feeling that's abuse and that is going to affect that child growing up later on in life And that's gonna affect the type of partner that they attract They will attract a partner that does not validate them because that's all they've ever known So the reason why I wanted to make this video is really just to start educating Everyone out there on these things and what emotional abuse entails, so I hope you all enjoyed this video I'm definitely gonna keep making more videos like this because I think they are Extremely important to keep relaying this message to keep educating yourself as much as you can on these things Unfortunately most of the time we really start educating ourselves On these types of things when we have already gone through it when we've already been an emotionally abusive relationship Or been with someone who's narcissists, please leave any comments or questions down below I love hearing from you guys and getting your feedback Don't forget to give this video a thumbs up if you liked it. Please like and share, and I will see you next week
