Can a Man be a Woman’s friend, forever? | Talks with Tony

hey tony guys is here popping in y'all forgive me now let me get y'all get whole my mentor.life in there now update on y'all shirts they on the way um i got a moving around and i'm shipping them myself so i ain't got no staff so um and no don't don't write in tony let me be the staff no no i'm gonna do it but y'all have to understand with me doing it sometimes it may take a few extra days so y'all who ordered your shirts from the blessed tribe your shirt should be on the way hopefully they'll be all out tomorrow monday so y'all give me some time understand that you did not order a oxygen tank you did not order a ventilator so don't be writing in oh well sure that we're gonna show that the shirt is coming you got clothes to wear the shirt is coming all right they have to check y'all cause some folks get beside they said all right well sure that i ordered a shirt 76 hours ago it ain't here yet the shirt is on the way got a little short question i had a question before this one but it was written in bullet point style and i just really today this particular day i don't have the energy to go through it and it sounded like a question that was just you know just seeing how it was written i didn't really read it but i just could tell just one of them going about your business questions ain't got time today this one is titled opposite sex friendships which i can't put that in the title on here and it's short and being that it's a friday i figure i'll tackle this one say hi tony thank you for taking the time to answer our questions i have been listening to your videos for a while now and appreciate all the time you take to make so many videos to teach us how men are i have learned a lot my question involves opposite friendships i don't have male friends anymore because i don't believe men and women can just be friends when dating this topic comes up and men tend to get very defensive about their female friends i would not feel comfortable with the guy i'm dating having female friends that he calls and hangs out with how should women handle this situation when dating someone new since they don't love us yet and are probably less likely to give up female friends in the beginning i don't want to be i don't want to be too unreasonable in the early stages but opposite friendships are a deal breaker for me thanks many blessings to you and your family oh hold on i thought i heard my son sat down kind of loud well i agree with you wholeheartedly on this and i know a lot of people don't agree with that and it's a lot of women i've seen you you know talk about their male friend that they've had for 20 years and all of those things and it really comes down to first defining the word friend see some people throw the word friend around loosely so some men may say yeah i have female friends you know i have women that have been my friend for 20 years but by friend he may means he says happy birthday merry christmas happy eve happy easter you know tell your mom i said hello and once a month he says hey you know what's such-and-such is number or hey did sudden such get out of jail and he may call that a friend but he doesn't really talk to her but when his friend you when you say okay so you're like female friends do you do y'all like are you all like best friends like do y'all confide in each other like you share your dreams she shares her dreams you console her when she's down and hurting she consoles you like y'all talk every day every other day when it comes down to that's what friends mean then yes that's a huge issue that's a huge issue and it's kind of like this right here every man knows that with in order for him to get with a woman to be with a woman and for her to take him serious that every other woman in his life has to take a back seat so a man who was really into you he's kind of going to act like no other woman exists like even his mother and his sisters he's going to pretend that it's no big deal like he doesn't really talk to him all the time or or if he does talk to him it's gonna he's not gonna be like he's not gonna make it look like he has to confide in his mother or he has to consult his mom before he makes a decision or his sister he understands that there's one queen in the castle and that in order for a woman to fully feel secure that is his job to let her know you are the woman in my life and yes i have a mother yes i have a sister yes i have women who are my co-workers women who are teammates if you play co-ed intramural league you know women who this and that but you are the one so typically a man will almost act like he doesn't even talk to other women or other women don't even exist a man who is into you he will make you feel like you are the only woman in the world and other women that you know about and that he talks about they are like a candle and you are the sunshine when a man doesn't take that approach that is intentional it is a alpha male strategy which really means beta male strategy meaning it's a weak man strategy and his goal about his his goal for dangling other women friends is to make you feel like you're in competition because he knows that you are a woman and that you know the heart of women and see a lot of times when when women think about oh oh i have male friends what they're not thinking about is the role that they're playing in that man's life and how they could be inhibiting him from opening up and completely being vulnerable with his wife or with his girlfriend because they're taking a piece of that vulnerability and the woman thinks she's just an innocent friend and she doesn't realize that she's blocking her blessings because she's giving this quote-unquote friend love she's giving him love it may not be loving like you know in the bedroom but she's giving him a piece of her heart and she's giving him love and that he is giving her masculine energy and she is returning feminine energy and that when they confide in each other and they share dreams and tears and hopes and fears that's really what a friend is so if a woman is a man's friend and it's not on that level then you're not a friend you're a constituent you're a associate you're a colleague so we first have to understand friend now to the women who say oh i've had a friend he's my best friend i know his wife and all of that well that's one thing if you are a woman that's cool that's that's okay you're a woman you may have no feelings toward him a lot of women say well he doesn't have feelings toward me do do you walk around in his mind do you know what he thinks about at night he absolutely has feelings towards you and that's why he calls you a best friend and that's why he calls you and confides in you and that's why he introduced you to his wife and that's why you go over and y'all hang out and y'all do all those things because he has love for you what he may not be able to control is his subconscious mind serving you up in a platter on a platter in his dreams what he cannot control is the amount of times he has had wet dreams from sleeping with you in his dream because you were on his subconscious mind from the deep conversation you had a lot of women do not understand that but that is the human mind that is especially the male mind i'm a man i'm here to tell you so when i cut out all women from my life meaning you know women friends and other women all of that right there my my dreams changed my dreams changed like my dreams literally became dreams of me and my wife like i literally was dreaming of sleeping with my wife i was dreaming of me and my wife on dates on trips it's the real truth that's the honest truth the reason why is because it's just the subconscious mind serving you up what it's been seeing and hearing and processing and so that's why it's it's a lot of women who write me and said tony you were in my dream now if this old nasty dream i don't hear about it typically the dreams i hear about is the woman said tony was in my dream and you came over to my house to do coaching with me and my fiance and then you officiated our wedding and really it's just because she listened to my video and i was in her subconscious mind now think about this a lot of times when women are friends with a man a woman is just looking at it from her perspective and that man may not be attractive to her that man she may have no feelings for that man but when you truly think about a man and a woman being friends you have to think about if you were friends with a man that you are attracted to if you are friends with a man who his mindset is where you want a man's mindset to be if his looks were where you want a man's looks to be human nature at some point you're gonna be like man it's like why can't i have a man like that like how does she have to get him how did i end up being a friend and stuck in the friend zone and she become the wife and you're gonna question yourself and and if women are real enough to be honest about what the mind can take you through then a lot of women will admit and say i've had quote unquote male friends that at certain times i question is this my husband or should we give it a try is this like the movie brown sugar like yeah am i supposed to be with this man and a lot of women have admitted that to me and i've coached several relationships where a woman was best friends with a man and then after all their relationships fell apart they decided to be together and it was absolute disaster i see that over and over and over and what they don't realize is the relationships fell apart because both of them was in the way of the other person's relationship because friendship is love communication is love so because i'm communicating with you every single day there will be a place in your heart where you say man i really love tony and i see that all the time tony i really love you they don't mean it romantically what they're saying is thank you you've spoken to my life you bless my life it's just like you know if i'm getting off the phone with one of my homeboys that i'm talking to or then help he'll say love you bro and it ain't nothing like you know sweet on it it's just like love you bro not i'm not in that place yet to say that i say it to my daddy but a lot of guys say that and it's really just me like man appreciate you because truthfully there is love there me and love don't have to be love does not have to be sexual love it can be it can sex could be a part of it but love is a feeling and it is an emotion and it is an action and it can take parts in all of that and so just the way i could you know have a little bit of love for these hill uh trolleys but then that ain't gonna be the same love that i may have for my favorite pair of shoes that ain't gonna be the same kind of love i may have that i'm have for my wife and so it's levels to it and but in its simplest form love is defined as a strong liking a strong liking of or a strong affection for and so you can have love for your friend and that love see here's the thing when men and women are friends or when you are friends if with someone that you are sexually attracted to that gender so the same thing goes for if a woman has is in a heterosexual relationship but she has a female best friend but the female best friend is lesbian dates women that's just as dangerous if not more dangerous than the woman having a male best friend who is heterosexual and so at the same time a woman can have a male best friend who is into men and that man could be attracted to his want his female best friend's husband or boyfriend and subconsciously her her husband or her boyfriend is being served up on a platter to her male best friend who is into men be and re the human mind you gotta it ain't about being it's not about being a pervert it's not about being nasty it's not about being and publicly everybody will say i'll never do that to my best friend i will never be attracted oh i am a such such male and my best girlfriend and i will never be attracted to her husband listen we ask you to sit on nobody's witness stand i already know how the human mind work you ain't got to defend nothing to me talk to god talk to god you ain't got i already understand human behavior that's what i do i already understand human behavior so you're absolutely right that i don't have women friends i have women clients it's a business transaction and i have a a young lady who is a client of mine going through a tough time in her relationship right now and she's not married and she said you know i need coaching i said all right it's it's gonna be six hundred dollars an hour because right now all i have is vip sessions open that's the cost of it that's still a 99 plus discount from my hourly pay but that's what i'm doing to be accessible to people here hey here here go to invoice ain't no the old friend to do free coaching no because that is a woman who is attracted to men and i am a man who is attracted to a woman so that is dang that's a danger zone if you're doing favors as quote unquote friends when it's a business transaction that don't mean it's still you know not a danger zone but it at least puts up boundaries to say this ain't no favor this ain't no barter system this is a business transaction so you make it transactional instead of relational and when you're dealing with somebody other opposite sex and that's just how it has to go now my wife does not have um male friends ain't no man texting my wife unless it's like a soccer coach or something like that and that's strictly soccer now she had a male uh trainer when the male when she had the male trainer with the gut on them i really mind that because for one he caucasian she has no attraction whatsoever to caucasian men and he had a gut on them so i'm like okay that ain't really gonna be too much of an issue she like to work out with a man because they train harder they just men on average at our particular gym they train harder than the women my wife she trained she out trained men she could outwork out men so she was with the man that man moved then she got another man if this man was a trainer but he slammed and buffed and cut up and i can't tell he's also a caucasian i can't tell if he hands him or not because i don't know what a handsome man looked like but i could tell what an ugly man looked like and he didn't look ugly so even though she's not attracted to uh caucasian men he's still a man and his body fit the profile of what a woman says attractive what i understand about the subconscious mind is that if you training with this person for 30 minutes two times a week your mind could serve that person up on a platter in your dream so right then what i had to talk to about is hey now make sure everything on up and up now and uh you know all right okay all right stay prayed up cause the devil gonna slip in how you want to slip in and so i'm not gonna go hire no woman trainer the workouts my wife do that's too hard for me i'm not gonna be doing all that so i'm like oh i must need to hire one of the women trainers because they do a different kind of workout style a little lighter workout that mo fit me but i'm not gonna do that because they're woman in their leggings i'm looking at booty cheeks while i'm trying to get a squat in i'm not feeling to do that so because i i understand the mind and so this is the thing some things we don't even have control of once we see things and hear things that's why we have to guard our eyes and our ears and a lot of people try to pretend that there oh it's no danger being friends with someone of the opposite sex even if you're heterosexual i have a best friend of 20 years i hear all that and now typically when i see that in the comments it's a caucasian woman and i have noticed in you know the caucasian race i see some crazy stuff in the sense of and to to my caucasian that's on here god bless you ain't talking bad about them just making an observation okay but one thing i noticed with caucasian is like if i'm at a white pope folks party this husband will be with his friend wife on the dance floor yeah come on becky yeah and i'm like because see with black men with black men like i remember my wife she was finna play in the football league for the women and so i had homeboy who played wide receiver in college and he was showing her some routes and stuff and he was like hey bro let me show you what i'm trying to do because i'm not going to be touching on i'm not going to be touching on your girl and all that but he literally was not finished show her how she got the uh get off the corner back so he demonstrated on me and he did that because with us in our race we don't even we know how sexual we are we can't even make long eye contact with our homeboy's wife and not the little small talk ain't no small talk hey hey how you doing okay all right all right now and people call the insecure and you call it what you want to call it you call it whatever you want to call it insecure territorial no it's understanding human nature and it's understanding that you will get touched you will get touched that you play with it you will get touched you hear me you will be on your bike with your ankles behind your ear lobes and so my homeboys they don't try to do no kicking with my wife and my wife gonna do no ki ken with them ain't none of that and and like my wife my wife have three sisters on hell now one of them phone number oh i got that number but ain't no i'm a relationship coach don't none of them text me my wife have women friends don't none of them have no right away or no free will to text me she don't play that because she understand human nature she understand that just cause this woman is my sister or just cause this woman is my friend don't mean she can't be attracted to my husband don't mean that she can't wish her husband was like my husband or that she had a man like my husband because it happened all the time they happen every day where a man sleeps with his woman's sister or his woman's cousin sometimes his woman's mother every single day is happening because women allow the man to have female friends thinking that oh they grown and i'm gonna be mature i'm not gonna be insecure all right it ain't about being insecure it's about being dumb okay it ain't by being insecure it's about being dumb all right so you want to let your man have female frick go right ahead go right ahead listen i'd have been a man since i haven't been a man and i've been a man since the day i came my you hear me been a man every second of the way them been around men in ways that as a woman in ways that a woman have never been around a man because see as a woman you ever been around 94 other men in a locker room in a football locker room as adults to hear that conversation you ever been there no you have not no you ain't unless you was a personal trainer and you couldn't even go in the locker room cause somebody thing might be swinging so you got to wait in the training room and he come to the training room and things still might be swinging and so you weren't allowed in the locker room how many women sit in the barber shop as a man because he look even if you can go in the locker room everything changes because you was a woman if you can go if you got to go in the barbershop the whole conversation change because you're a woman so as a woman you got to understand when a man tell you there is no such thing as a man that's just your friend because he just waiting but see different men built differently some men can only fake it for three months some men can't even fake it a month some men can fake as your platonic friend for 20 years some men could fake 30 years but listen here before he check out of him before he check out him he trying to get in there before he check out of him he's going to get the courage to tell you you know i haven't been your friend for you know four decades and it's just every day i've had dreams about you and i always just kept it cool and played it platonic and uh and some women would be honest and say you know what tony you're right i had a friend for five years ten years i've seen women say i had a friend for 20 years before he tried me and i was blown away because that is human nature we wired to adapt and to be attracted to someone to be with them to reproduce like that's just a natural ticking thing especially in a man see and that's why women always say oh i can be oh i'm platonic friends with with several guys i have a lot of male best friends and they've never tried me i know their wives everything on the up and up that's what you understand about a man what you don't understand about a man is that a man may not necessarily need to touch you [Music] while and he could be married but what you do for him is you give him an outlet so when he in the bathroom doing number two he whip out number one and what he doing think about you friend [Music] all right and you just sitting over there you at your house you sleeping good you think you got you a good male friend you got your little bullet oh yeah got what you got going on over there and you might be in true known uh laura harvard relationship because you pitching mbj and you ain't thinking about your male friend cause your heart might be pure towards him but you don't know what he's doing with you in his mind and that's what women say oh never never he would never do that oh you're just one man tony you just want you to speak for yourself and then what a lot of women will do be crazy enough to go ask the man tomorrow like he gonna tell the truth you know what um yeah can you watch this video because me and you have been friends for two decades and i just think that it is just asinine that this man said this on this video and it's like you know what i'm almost sick and tired of these relationship because they just think they know every single thing and it's like can you watch this video and tell me what you think i'll just text it to you so watch that video and tell me what you think and us and you really think he's gonna call you and be like um well yeah so yeah he actually telling the truth and uh to be honest i have to be honest i just was dreaming about you last night and it was not nice friend so yeah you think you can say that no way you finna come back and say see i told you stop listening to them relationship all they do is they're there for the money all they want is money how much do they charge you for the video oh it's free oh well if they have advertising see there that's what i'm saying you got advertising on video so he's just gonna say anything just trying to reel you in and you need to stop listening to that you know what he'll nobody gonna tell you that cause he already normal to his game so if he gets you out of the way if he get me out of the way guess what he do it might be a year from now [Music] you're going to feel some tapping on your leg [Music] what are you doing best friend oh my god i cannot believe what is what's going on with your body i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry like i'm sorry like i'm trying to control myself i did not mean to do that please forgive me i'm so sorry okay i'm leaving right now listen that's all that is he working up to the point that he get the courage to try you if he like women if he like women and the thing about it ill matter you know i used to say well if a man is is absolutely not attracted to that woman if she's so far from his attractive get but one thing i started to really realize about men is it's something he want from her it's something he could get from her you know matter how tall she is how short she is you know her body figure what it looked like it's something he could utilize from her [Music] a little bit of singing on that microphone something he could do with her that satisfy his love lust and i haven't seen it all i haven't seen you know i don't see him man five eight sleeping with a woman at six fo and when nobody feeling like climbing that tree but here go your old five eight five seven five six on a bad day climbing it climbing that tree climbing right up i'm like man hey we the same side when we lay down i said no you ain't cause her foot feet was hanging off the twin bed in the dorm room this is when i was in college her feet hanging off that twin bed your feet don't even touch the end of the bed y'all in the same side that you just slid up and i've seen it all i've seen it all we had a young lady and you know four figures was not in at that time it wasn't in at that particular time and she had a full figure you know she was probably about it is if you see my wife she probably was about right here and i'm not saying that anything is wrong with it but what i'm saying is it just wasn't a common thing that men were doing like on as football players most of their girlfriends looked a certain shape and then he'd go to this young lady she had her a full figure and she was not you know and she she rocked it she was confident but guess what she was she liked to hustle men and they used to line up at her door it literally would be 10 to 15 men lined up at her dorm room and she would one at a time and these men would be you know mostly you know black men and then you got some some hispanics in there some biracial um and the young lady was a caucasian and i didn't see any caucasian men in the line they didn't they didn't bother her because they didn't like that they was like calling all kind of names and i remember she used to come to me time why didn't you come to my room when are you coming over what do i have to do to get you over there i'm like um i'm not gonna be over there um i'm just i'm i'm not like that i don't really do all of that what y'all be doing i'm not into that yeah right i've heard about you i'm like no you've heard some lies i'm not going to be able to make it unfortunately see me i have a little bit of standards i'm like man 15 million i know girl you don't put something on my thing either caught something from your mouth absolutely not but and i'm like how are y'all doing this like what is y'all doing man and they they just like hey man ain't nothing wrong with that ain't nothing wrong with a little bit of that get a little bit of that sloppy toppy man shoe and they used to go over there and a lot of these guys had girlfriends and i'm like wow but what that let me know is that a man will touch anything and now there's certain women that are privy to male conversations is some women who had a brother who had male friends and they would be talking about what they doing and how they do women in front of the woman and she get to hear it and she just so my sister was a player and juggled men and played men ended up playing herself but she did that because of what she saw me do she saw the way i did women and the way i juggled and played women that she was like shoot i'm gonna play the game too i'm not gonna be out here like no duck these women out here think they got my brother and think he they the only woman in his life and i see him hang up the phone from them and he on the phone with another woman and and all of them think they eat they think they the one and only and so she saw that some women get to see that most women don't most women don't so a lot of women don't really know men that don't understand me and think like oh that's just my real friend we ten toed down from since we were knee-high to a grasshopper like it's just my platonic friend i know his wife his wife is my best friend and it don't matter all that right that don't matter all that don't matter do not matter that don't mean he's not dreaming about you that don't mean he ain't in that bathroom all right with you on his mind that don't mean him and his wife not gonna have a divorce and that don't mean if they go through a break or they get separated and you come over to his apartment because she kicked him out and you over to the apartment cooking and cleaning because while he whining and crying and that he don't try to slip in on you try to get him a little something because he vulnerable and and and catch you off guard and next thing you know you're on your bike and i remember one time i had experience with that uh and i remember one time i'm sitting there and i'm coaching i'm coaching a young lady and she'll tell you she's like tony's my best friend that's my best friend i'm like that is not your best friend this man is tall dark muscular and you say he handsome that's dangerous if you got a boyfriend that is dangerous it went long after later yeah well yeah [Applause] yeah we went there i said oh i said oh platonic oh the platonic friend the best friend that you said would never ever try you that if we're talking about the same guy oh oh oh mr p mr plazani oh so also when you got on your bike he didn't reach out ahead and lift you up and ask you what are you doing and throw your clothes to you no um yeah it happened we went there i i said what i told you i already know that was gonna happen i already know that's gonna happen just take the right moment of vulnerability when you vulnerable about your breakup you want a little break and the same mr consolation just like the young lady who wrote in on the last video i did when she told me that man was consoling her for seven years before he made his move pounced on her married her and then not dog and i so that's what i'm telling like listen if you want to be the exception to the rule go right ahead go right ahead somebody probably got a youtube channel called exception to the rule that ain't this channel that ain't this channel i ain't trying to set people up for failure i ain't trying to say well yeah you know there's been some people who are have been platonic friends so yeah go ahead give it a try because you know just like other people have been able to do it you know you should be able to do it you know it should be able to be okay so yeah go right ahead no i'm not gonna do that that's gonna sets you off for failure so i'm gonna tell you like right here you'll be better off not having friends of the opposite sex if you're in a relationship and if you getting in a relationship with somebody you'll be better off letting them know you're not cool with them having friends in the real sense of the word friends with opposite sex and if they mad with that they get defensive about that okay all right don't get mad scratch your booty get glad going about your business buddhist scratching and so let them keep on moving because i'm going to tell you something right here as a man i remember i had a friend i remember i had a young lady that was a friend we had never even hooked never kissed nothing sexual and i remember when i had met my wife and her name the girl name came up and i told that's my friend and you insecure and i never stopped being her friend to be with you so if you want to be that insecure because yeah like that then you can leave i did all that huffing and puffing do you know what you know why i said that because i wanted to sleep with that girl with that other girl and that's why i try to defend that friendship and yet at the same time i wrote a book my first book that came out in 2007 me and the young lady was friends in 2006 and i remember the young lady called me we weren't talking regular she called me after i went on tyra banks and she said hey i'm in the house washing dishes and i got the tv on next thing i know i hear tyra banks say and this young man is the author tony godskins author of what daddy never told his little girl she said i look back and it's you she's like congratulations congratulations on your book so that made her go get my book in my book i have a chapter can men and women just be friends and i answered the question honestly no holds barred and the answer is no the answer was no in the book with that young lady i never heard from him again i never heard from her see she removed herself after she read that or i don't even know if she read it but she disappeared i don't know if she got back with her baby daddy and he said listen that's your friend that's your homeboy you got a little book you be talking about that and telling me about reading the book and all that you can't never talk to him again if that could have been the case but for but whatever it was i had later thank god because i said you know what lord i had the jedi mind tricked my wife because i got so enraged faking rage because i got so fake enraged my wife had just kind of chilled she was like okay well maybe i am being insecure maybe maybe i am you know reaching and that's how a man will do ooh man well i'm getting way too much of the game giving way too much what he meant man somebody one of my home what not literally when i say home but i don't mean like a friend or like close friends or what i call here man uh he called me he said boy i'll listen to your video but you be giving everything he like i'd be like oh no tony don't say that no don't say that tony no when a man being honest that's what he'll tell me cause they know ain't lying they know i ain't lying because i'm a man and every man could look at me and know that i played the game as as well as he played it and most likely i played it better mmm man that's why the men over there they're calling their names all these different stuff that's why they shaking in their boots that why they trying to hack on the page all the pages because they know ain't lying and so i had to thank god later because i had to encounter when i got crunk with my wife it kind of like that's how man i do you a man will make you feel stupid for believing that he may have some feelings for his female friend he will make you feel stupid he will make you feel insecure he will make you feel immature he will make you feel lowly lonely lost confused spiteful hateful jealous torn scorned worn unborn he will make you feel every thing and it's really your intuition letting you know because you were woman and you saying i know that if a woman is confiding in a man and he is confiding in her and this man got anything going for himself eventually that woman could fall for that man or he can fall for her and she may be too weak or passive to say no no put it up put it up zip it up we can't go there a lot of women won't say that because the woman is naturally submissive to the man so it's not every day that a woman can check a man and shut him down because he will get you in a place where you vulnerable where you open and so when he make that move it's hard to flip that switch and say no what are you doing we cannot do that don't you ever try me like that again that's not common for a woman that's a rare woman who could be key keying laughing having a great time and when a man tried her she flipped that script don't ever try me like that again that's a rare woman that's a rare woman that's how my wife feels that's a rare woman and so what you have to realize is that even the woman who call herself being innocent so if you're a woman and your man got a female friend she might be the sweetest person you might have went shopping with her all that guess what don't mean a thing do you hear me i'm telling you from experience you hear me i'm telling you from experience of having a woman and having slept with best friend [Music] cousin you hear me roommate you hear me sister oh yeah this happened all the time happening every day and that other woman we'll be right up under the key key in laughing hanging out all that and as a woman you like well she's so cool and she get me flowers and she sent me fashion tips and she we go out for drinks together and get our hat nails done together so i ain't worried about her being my husband friend or my boyfriend friend all right okay go right ahead go right ahead you know what you know it all all right go go right ahead go right here give him a call give him a call when it hit the fan and come on and come on on here and let's do a zoom conversation about this here experience that you had when you let your man keep his female best friend and how that turn out for you when not a two of them turn against you cause he going her talking about you like a dog telling all your business to her and and and next thing you know the two of these two of them against you and she giving him bad advice against you oh yeah oh yeah i have been there i haven't been there as a man playing that role with the female friend i'd have been there as the male trying to be the innocent male who just got a platonic friend and oh every male ain't got to be attracted to every female that he talking to [Music] and lying to myself lying to the women and waiting on that opportunity to pounce and now you're gonna have some men oh well i have women best friends and i've never touched them i've never touched them i ain't never antoine well sir [Music] are you ready to tell us about your affection for men because uh sir don't be in my comments talk about how you got all these female friends and you ain't never touch them and don't never want to touch them and that you completely platonic and need your best friends and needs is women uh without going ahead and telling me about your affection for men so uh because one thing i know that thing i know it got a mind of its own and if it's talking to a woman it know what it's talking to it know what it's talking to and if it's attracted to women and it's talking to a woman and it's come fighting and it's sharing all kind of secrets and hopes and dreams and one thing i know about that thing yeah like the army hammer box do you hear me so sir what else you want to tell us since since you got a whole journal entry about how you got all these women friends and you ain't bit more attracted to them than the man on the moon than a can of paint what else you got to tell us sir [Music] all right okay so don't come over here trying to be this session to the rule if you don't want to tell everything about your little affection to me because see me as a man i already know i already know and and for the men who for the one out of one million men who got women friends and not attracted to them and not trying to do nothing with them what where that man gets off at he get off at being the knight and shining armor he get off with being the confidant and the guru to this woman so that no matter who she's dating or who she married to he get off on being a better man than whoever she with appearing to be a better man whoever she with so that he could keep hearing her say i just wish he had your mind set best friend like it's like my goodness like can we clone you best friend he he just hey not call hey calm down calm down you know he just needs a little bit of time because see what you have to understand about me is like it took me some time to grow to this level and like i mean i will admit you know it's i'm one in a million but it's like he can be two in a million and so this is what you have to do like just keep calling me and just keep sharing this with me and every time you do that what i'm gonna do i'm gonna give you the male perspective and we're gonna help him elevate and get on the level that i reside on which you know all too well so hey hey i'm big bro for a reason you know give me a call that's what he get off on that what he love but yet still what he's unwilling to admit is that he's a hindrance to her progression that she can't fully fall in love with her husband because she has convinced her husband that he's a platonic friend and he has come over and played the role as a platonic friend but yet she's still comparing her husband or her boyfriend to her male best friend and because she's not with him intimately in a romantic relationship she's comparing apples to oranges because all she gets of him is the good side she don't see how he's controlling and jealous and insecure when he's in a romantic relationship but with her he doesn't show that side because he's just a quote-unquote platonic friend and so now she can't fully fall in love with her boyfriend or her husband because he's not everything that her friend is pretending to be see she getting the real she's smelling her boyfriend boo boo her best friend he got poo pourri on his life so he didn't spray the poo pourri she can't even really get the real of him so to her he ignited shining armor to to the man her boyfriend now he looking like a peasant because the man playing this role and then the man tried to come on and come on here and try to and and try to trick me hey god bless god bless god bless you play boy well you both forgot who you talking to watch a few more videos so you can understand i ain't the one i ain't the one you can't come over here fool me you can't come over here and fool me because i'ma tell like right here with the life i live and the god i serve i already know if i can't have no female friend that and it be completely platonic i and with the way i live my life no angela no per nerfing no gambling no getting drunk no smoking no cursing with the way i sacrifice and live my life if i can't have no er listen i can't trust that i can't trust i don't trust a man further than i could see him boy please go sit down unless you like me now if you like me okay i understand you ain't got new feelings for that one man i understand you never gonna touch that one because you want you some rhythm you don't want no vagina so i understand that nah but you not coming over here convincing me that you're a heterosexual male and you ain't got no emotional attachment to this woman you calling your platonic friend while she in a relationship or why are you in a relationship you can't tell you can't convince me of that i will have to talk to god himself face to face and hear god say tony you were wrong by that you're wrong about that tony that many have no feelings whatsoever emotional sexual any kind of thoughts about that woman and he 100 percent heterosexual male tony you wrong about that god tell me that i said okay lord but nine eight that wasn't in the book of the lamb of life nine ain't had nothing to do with my salvation did it it just was my opinion right okay so i feel finna come in the gates all right okay all right thank you but other than that man you're gonna be able to convince me you ain't gonna better against me and see this the thing in the game that men will play a man will hear a video like this from his female friend and that male will take his male ego and he'll leave a whole long comment and screenshot it and send it to the woman friend to his woman friend because he want to show her that he's so wrong and i'm so upset i'm finna leave a comment so now what the woman does she then says um well best friend must really be a platonic friend because he don't even do social media like that he had to create a gmail account to leave that comment so for him to do all of that he definitely got to be a platonic friend okay whoo i'm gonna take my wig off take me last uh tight ponytail loose oh she and what she do she drop a guard then what are he finna do oh i got the relationship coach out the way finna take it right on the chin you hear me oh i got the oh i got the common sense out of the way oh now she she wide open she don't believe that i'm setting up to get on a bike all right and then what are you going to do going to wait till you come over there crying and complaining about that man and you just finished crying your eyes still misty and he just gonna look you deep in the eyes and then he gonna lean in for a kiss and you just finna be flabbergasted you finna be shocked and appalled you finna be blown you're gonna be like oh my goodness is this my husband is this supposed to be what do i do do i stop this i know i had a dream one time that this might be my husband so do i let this go and that they know next thing you know um you're on your bike next thing and then the next day you waking up with remorse i just cannot believe we did that i should have stopped it it's like we have two decades of friendship and then we let that happen because of moment of weakness i tried to tell you but you knew it all oh you know it all because because you're just so platonic and you just oh you just knew it all i was trying to tell you i was trying to tell you because i was dirt diggler i don't played all the games i was trying to tell you that man were trying to set you up for the okie doke and you should have fed them with a long handle spoon you should have had them on happy birthday merry christmas list when you got into that relationship but no you knew it all or when he got into that relationship you should have bagged back and say listen friend don't call me every day like we can't talk every day you got a woman like you need to be confident in her like listen i understand that i'm your best friend but when you get in a relationship she need to be your best friend what you ch what you trying to tell me you need to be telling her don't come but see a lot of women don't think like that because you're selfish and men too men don't think like that either because you're selfish why because human nature is selfish so we'll sit there and play best friend and we will let this person confide in us and tell us all they relationship business and instead of us saying listen you don't need to be on here spewing hate on your other half and telling all this to me you need to get off the phone with me stop calling me and you need to learn how to communicate with the one that you with because that's disrespectful to him or her see we don't know how to say that we want to sit there and feed our loneliness feed our ego feed our need for companionship and it's always dangerous when that best friend is completely single because when the best friend completely single the the completely single best friend may not know how they infringe in on boundaries because they ain't got no relationship to compare it to but if that best friend who completely single was in a relationship then they other half would be telling them like whoa hold on why you always on the phone with their person and y'all crying together laughing together like what's going on like oh y'all got too much going on but they don't get to hear that because they single so they just think ain't nothing wrong sitting on here letting my best friend uh the opposite set confide in me and complain about their relationship and so i could try to be a life coach without the tonygastonacademy.com certification and with no profile on my mentor i ain't going to pay 20 money i'm on my mentor.life i'm gonna sit here and just coach my friend for free so yeah so what you need to do this is what you need to do with your wife okay and so now you again you look coaching kicks but you disrupt and interrupting his marriage or for the man ain't no man watching this far it's a man long gone you hit me 59 minutes 11 seconds man gone if a man if you don't got it to this point you have to remove yourself from being this woman best friend and say listen i'm a man and i know how men think and although i ain't trying to sleep with you i got to get out the way because i don't want to be disrespectful to that man because to be honest with you that man i'm going to slice my tires or took my life and you don't even realize that because that's just how men are so listen you send me a happy birthday merry christmas but other than that you need to confide in a professional coach of the same sex that you are because i can't play that role no more because now you're in a relationship so god bless you hey love you let's be in touch on the holidays we'll talk soon hey tony guys got to go for an hour we'll talk soon god bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 42,447

Rating: 4.9673834 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: thrLM4-RSTI

Length: 59min 55sec (3595 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 19 2021