''...Hey, I Think I Know This Dude''

like the video and subscribe right now or spider dodge will arrive at your bed tonight what's your craziest hey i think i know this dude story i went on an okay cupid date with a girl last fall that was kind of a dud we just didn't click in person but it wasn't a disaster and while on the date she introduced me to one of her friends her friend went off to do something and the girl says to me i have such a crush on her and i was like so tell her life is short cut to a few months later when there she is on an episode of mtv's friend zone season 1 episode 15 and it turns out she is confessing to that exact friend it did not go well crystal if you're reading this super sorry for the bad advice so i was surfing the internet checking some porn sites you know for science when i suddenly see a thumbnail of a girl that looked just like my cousin i was like oh [ __ ] i gotta see this once i saw it i couldn't erase the image from my mind i recognized everything her husband the room the bed she always seemed so innocent but apparently she loves rough sex who knew a chick i liked in high school found her video banging some guy google one socked clown you're all welcome i was sitting in the break room of my work minding my own when i look up to see a girl i went out with in middle school on television the news was muted as i preferred it and quickly turning up the volume i'll learn that her daughter is missing how tragic i thought then [ __ ] got real a few months later even going to the grocery checkout became surreal the tragedy escalated and fast followed it was plastered over the news networks and tabloid magazines and then there were the mems oh [ __ ] that looks like my cousin getting pounded on click sometimes you just have to know there were two popular kids in my high school who were some of the nicest guys i knew they loved life and everything and everyone in it they were also the best of friends since like elementary school after graduation i ended up moving away for college when i came home for the summer two years later i learned that only a month prior the two guys were at a party got drunk and then started arguing the arguing stopped when one of the kids pulled out a handgun and blew the other kid's face off now one is dead and the other is in jail with 30 to life you can never truly know a person no matter how long or how close you have known them i went to school with some girl that dated a blind guy about two years later i found out she was a porn star how ironic the only guy who hadn't seen her naked a few months back someone posted a bunch of screenshots of a thread from slash b about a girl getting naked for chemistry hw answers it hit the front page i was about 85 sure it was one of my exes it fit what classes she was taking at the time too i saw a guy on the news a few years back that police were looking for as he was suspected in a gas station robbery he had a striking resemblance to my brother went to the strip club on my birthday with a few friends see this dancer and realized it was my older brother's ex-girlfriend the valedictorian of my high school appeared in a gang bang porn about two years after graduation not a video but a real life experience that i know i've written about before i'm a criminal justice major so i go on a lot of ride alongs one night i was riding with the local pd when we got a call to respond to a drunk and disorderly at a dive bar another unit got there before us and was trying to talk this guy down who was so blaze drunk he was ineffectually swinging at thin air after a few tense moments between the two cops and this drunken idiot he calmed down enough to get him outside and cuffed in the slightly better lighting of outside i realized that i knew the suspect my junior high bully this kid and his best friend had made my life a living hell for two years had assaulted me numerous times spread rumors about me stole everything from pencils to my expense of t83 and had generally done everything to make me feel as low and worthless as possible he was put in the back of our car and we drove him to the jail for booking his frenetic activity had apparently burned off enough of his pretty intense intoxication if i remember correctly he blew over a .20 at the jail for him to recognize me in the rear view mirror of the patrol car now let's put this in a bit of context when i was in junior high i was about five feet seven inches or five feet eight inches and maybe 120 pounds but in high school i had a massive growth spurt and at 25 i was now 6 feet 2 inches and it had over 200 pounds back then i had long hair wore atti t-shirts and was rather shy thanks to the constant barrage of ridicule now i stood tall was dressed nicely had cut my hair down almost to a crew cut and was obviously sitting in a patrol car i'm pretty sure that he assumed i was now a cop back to the story through a heavy alcohol-induced slur this guy says he i don't i higdon i know yeah yes you do you used to beat me up all through junior high karma's a [ __ ] isn't she he then remained silent and wouldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the time i was around him booking slash processing afterward the cop pulled his record up starting in high school we went to different high schools thanks to some weird attendance districts he began having issues with the law convictions for petty theft criminal trespass vandalism simple possession second-degree burglary a long list of petty crimes that showed he grew worse as time went on part of me was glad for this that his life was [ __ ] he had caused me a lot of physical and emotional pain on one occasion he hit me with a nanobridge dictionary and i'm pretty sure i had a concussion because of it on another occasion he punched me in the face and broke my nose however another part of me was sad to see that this guy was never going to amount to much the kid i remembered while a complete and utter douchebag was at least pretty smart and a decent artist with a pen he could have done something with his life instead he became a petty thug who's currently in jail for trespassing on federal property i found a porno an old classmate of mine did it was wit not the porno itself but the feeling of watching someone i knew in a porno back in the day we didn't have incredibly reliable access to porn over the internet sure it was there but our dial-up modems didn't make it very reliable for this reason i quickly found my dad stash of vhs porn tapes in the shed friends and i would go to play basketball and for some odd reason the basketball was always flat surprise surprise the pump is in the shed five minutes and a vhs tape down the pants we were off to someone's house whose parents weren't around and had a vcr while three horny little teenagers sit around the tv ready to mentally save images to our internal spank bank for later use my friend pops the tape in his vcr as it plays the picture comes into focus and it's a three-quarters isometric view of a bedroom a man and a woman are 69 apostrophe the guy is going deep and slow on the woman with a huge dildo and he's getting blown while he's doing this hey my parents have sheets that look just like that i say without really thinking about it it took a whopping four to five seconds for all of us to realize omg those are my parents from that day forward my dad was known internally to my friends as porno larry name change to protect the innocent thankfully 12 plus years have allowed me to pretty much wipe the visuals from my memory and 20 plus for the time i walked in on them i've posted this before but a girl i hooked up with in high school was on back room casting couch she was in one of my classes and was always very quiet and shy i started talking to her outside of school when i met her at a family friend's bbq we ended up sneaking upstairs while the bbq was going on and hooking up fast forward to about a year ago a buddy of mine was like remembers to see that you hooked up with i said yeah and then he sent me the link to the video hilarious i was browsing porn one day and looked up some bj videos found one my ex gf must have uploaded of her sucking my dick i fapped i discovered that the guy i went to prom with did gay porn i remember this girl from middle school as being kinda out there tie-dye shirt wearing and she had the figure of a twig fast forward to after college and a friend tells me she's in playboy sure enough i even found one of those crappy soft corvids she even came out drinking with a big group of hometown people and wow everyone wanted a piece edit can't find the video there's a few online if you google lane elizabeth but apparently the one i linked had some virus i saw myself in the background during a news report from my hometown my thoughts went something like this oh hey that's that street just over there i buy records in that shop oh and i know that guy from school and there's my cousin wait that's that's me over there oh and found some saucy pics of one of my teachers and her husband and another set of pics and a few videos of a girl at school tldr didn't recognize myself on telly wanked to one of my teachers and the girl at school but not at the same time today i learned that every redditor has an exude as porn a friend of mine from high school had pictures of her up hanging out on a boat with a friend of hers f they were taking very suggestive photos and stuff her friend looked very familiar and me being the porn addict i'm immediately realized it was porn star brittany angel total mind duck i've never fapped so many times in my life i saw a picture in the houston chronicle years ago and thought hey i think i know that guy turns out i did i worked with him at a marble slab ice cream shop he was being sought by police for murdering a guy during a break-in never found out what happened to him this isn't me but this happened to my friend after seeing cnn news after the aurora shootings he knew someone that had been shot when i was a kid i grew up in tampa fl which has its gasparilla parade it's essentially a pirate themed mardi gras with plenty of alcohol beads and the ever popular boobs for beads trade i was about 11 at the parade with a bunch of friends no parents around one of the women standing next to us was very drunk and started asking us for the beads we caught then trying to bribe us with a promise to flash us we were all preteen boys some of my friends agreed and she flashed us a few weeks later i was getting my hair cut and saw a random woman who looked familiar after staring at her for a bit i realized it was the drunk lady who had flashes me and my friends my cousin lost his [ __ ] and tried to shoot his wife fortunately he's a shitty shot missed and was only charged with attempted murder did six years in pennsylvania prison and is out now but he's family and you don't abandon family so i said this you need time at a range you're a terrible shot after that he was back in the family but still my cousin tried to shoot his wife undiagnosed bipolar for the win high school i had a couple of classes with corin who i had a fairly solid crush on she looked sort of like michelle rodriguez maybe five feet three inches 110 pounds soaking wet with a fairly large chest for a high school student we were friendly to one another but not exactly friends we didn't call each other after school but we had no problem talking with one another in class especially in the shop classes we had together or working on labs together graduation happened life moved on about eight years later some friends of mine dragged me to this little [ __ ] strip club in brooklyn i couldn't even tell you approximately where it was we get inside and there's lights strobes half naked women everywhere etc i sit by the stage and feed dollar bills to the starving children for about a half hour then the dj announces common to the stage i watch her for a while and think that i've seen her somewhere before but can't place it a slip a bunch of bills in just to keep her in sight because i'm positive i've seen her before after her set finishes she comes out onto the floor and makes a beeline for me i'm thinking she wants to offer me a lap dance since i just gave her so much attention when she was on stage her your buboness right me a gape yes i know you from somewhere right huh all smiles how about a lap dance we go over to the chair she starts doing her thing and just as she climbs up on my lap i realize this is corinne her hair is longer and she got a decent boob job but it's definitely her i almost yell it out and she laughs in acknowledgement she finishes the lap dance whispering in my ear all the while about how she knew i had a crush on her in high school which i thought was a pretty dirty trick to use at the time and then slips me her card with her aol ml address and phone number on it we spent about three months talking on the phone and emailing regularly before she moved to california i still chat with her once in a while bonus after i left the club with my friends i asked if anyone else had gotten the number of a hot stripper from the club and showed them corinne's card best reaction ever not that crazy but a girl that was in my prom party ended up being second runner-up on the last season of america's next top model my first high school girlfriend is now a brazzers girl one of those pleasing moments where i was all like hey i was there first i was at a strip club with some buddies and this girl walks up and starts giving one of my friends a bit of a grind as the precursor to a follow me for a lap dance and after about two minutes their faces get up close to each other and it turned out to be another buddy of ours who wasn't there little sister security nearly threw us all out because when she realized who it was she screamed at the top of her voice and ran away you've been visited by the rare aurier cow you will be blessed with tasty aureus and milk but only if you comment you look tasty cow thanks for watching do not forget to subscribe for more daily videos

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 13,095

Rating: 4.9664569 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, tz reddit, toadfilms, i know this dude, i know this person

Id: VkvNLTZhw9o

Length: 15min 25sec (925 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 07 2020