He says he's not ready for a relationship! | Talks with Tony

hey hey tony guys here popping in with another episode of talks with tony we're gonna jump right on in here hi tony i recently was dating a guy over the past seven months he was consistent with communication every day and was flying me out to see him every month we would go on dates every time we saw each other other activities like picnics in the park going to the gun range etc after seeing him in the beginning of october i noticed after i got home that he kept following younger white women on instagram 20 to 21 and he's 25. i got a spurt of insecurity due to my past relationship of always being cheated on with white women i'm biracial black and white but still have some issues with this that i'm trying to work on i made a comment that sometimes i have thoughts that i'm not what he wants and that he would prefer a fully white younger woman he replied in saying that he doesn't know what he wants but younger and white isn't it i then asked him what we were doing and he told me that we were enjoying each other's company i told him i don't do what we have been doing just for fun and he told me that he understands and that it has nothing to do with me he's on his grind he's in the nfl and has things he needs to accomplish and that a relationship isn't what he feels he needs right now he mentioned he didn't want to cut what we had going on off but then later became distant and dry with communication i asked him what was the reason and he told me that the vibe just hasn't been there for him lately and that he's not feeling seeing me every month anymore and that he thinks it's best we cut it off i'm hurt and confused because i thought what we had going on was going well and i was thrown off when he said the vibe has been off because we had been getting along just fine if you could give some of your advice and clarity on the situation i would appreciate it thank you well thank you so much uh for writing in and um okay he's 25 he's also in the nfl now i know i recognize your name so i know what you look like um and thank you for reaching out this here way because you know a lot of y'all don't like to sign up for coaching so i'm glad you reached out for the free session now let me tell you in case you did not know you look white you know so to a to a black man which obviously uh he's i know he black um because i know kind of man you date and then the fact that you pointed out white women is obviously another race than him because it wouldn't be you know worth mentioning if he was white so now with a black guy to a black guy you look white and black and white could come in several different ways but for a black man to see you as black you have to look at least like a light-skinned black girl because men just kind of lump women in together so a hispanic is a puerto rican a dominican a mexican a hispanic might even be a black and white girl to a man to a man he just gonna lump it in and so a lot of times you know with biracial women y'all eventually start to identify with one race or another biracial people sometimes identify i see a lot of biracial people say i'm black and they call itself black now yes [Music] in jim crow time yes you would be considered black but when somebody just looking at you unless they could see what they assume to be traditional black features then they don't necessarily know that they could have you lumped in with a white person and you don't even know it now this right here what you have is now that's hard to understand so listen to it two or three times if you miss what i said and it had nothing to do with you it's just the truth it just the way people move the way people are and i've had several clients and they say you know as a black woman as a black man and then i'm kind of like um now you said as a black man um so do you identify as black yeah yeah i'm biracial you know uh my dad is black my mom is white oh oh oh okay oh okay yeah yeah oh okay yeah oh oh yeah you black yeah you definitely black yeah if you got even an eight thing you consider black in this world and especially in america oh yeah you like okay yeah yeah oh sorry sorry about that i just you know i did not you know i didn't fully know and cause a lot of times i'd be confused i'd be like i thought the person was white because of just how you look so what you got to understand is what he looking for what you say he following on instagram that's you to him you still the same thing they're just younger and they're probably just younger because that's what he bumping into because of the reels when instagram started doing them reels or they start doing them stories and it's putting your story on your popular page when i went on my popular page i don't follow any women but my wife and then i follow my two sons and i follow my mentor dot life i'll follow four accounts on there but on my problem page i kept seeing uncoordinated non-dancing young caucasian women doing all of this and i was like why is this on my page and i never click on it because i just didn't want to enter the algorithm and tell the algorithm this is what i want to see but it kept showing it and then i later saw that that same young lady that they kept showing was is somebody who have millions and millions of tick tock followers because she hit a blog or her family hit a blog or something about i don't know being stuck up or something they said over at dinner or something and so i'm like oh that's the same person that instagram put on my page like five days in a row now another thing sometimes they happen when a person has been looking at your page they will end up on your discover page so that could have also happened but or it could have just been them showing you it's a popular page was popular so he bumping into these because he not going to search young white women on instagram he not it's what he's his feed is showing him on the popular page and he's seeing that he clicking on that because he's a black guy because i just already know because he blank what you have to understand about a lot of men black white hispanic men like notches in their belt so men like diversity men like variety so with your average man he wants to sleep with a asian a hispanic a white a black a albino a racially ambiguous a tall a short a light a dark a medium a petite a slim a medium bill a heavy build a you know voluptuous bill he your average man he wants to run the game he want all 31 flavors and that's what this here 25 year old who is a grown boy is still doing the other thing at your age what you need to do for the most part is stay away from pro athletes for the most part there are exceptions to the rule but looking how you look so you know because i know how you look you have really light eyes and then you kind of have like a medium skin tone so it kind of looked like uh white with a low uh like kim kardashian them color so armenian so a black guy never gonna assume that you black and white he gonna think you armenian or something like that and then you have light eyes so it's kind of like look like a cat eye you know a snake eye you know when you want color and then your eyes are you know a different color that's not traditional for people that's your color it'll make you stand out to people who notice eye color they'll notice that and then you have dark hair and i literally had a pro athlete when i used to be a matchmaker i literally had a pro athlete come to me for matchmaking and he said i want her to be like racially ambiguous skin color dark hair with light eyes from another country other than america with the accent of her country it get that specific men get like that because men with some privilege men with some status men with some money they start to and this gentleman i'm you know talking about you know was well off they start to want the fighter it's just like my friends who got a whole lot of money they eat sashimi it's like man you don't get that uncooked food out my face right see the more money you make the less you want your food cooked people that's poor and people that's lower middle class or even a lot of middle class want their food well done they order they stay medium well well done i went to a dinner and these sisters the black women they ordered they stayed well done and butterflied so the state was cut down the middle and all the way blake charred i would like y'all eating choco it's like now because i'd have been around some people with some money i at least went then graduated to medium and sometimes that's too much for me so this how men are when they get a little money they want what they consider to be exotic rare they want something that's a different that looked like a different breed like cut from a different cloth and that's how you attracted him because you being mixed to a black man you exotic he maybe didn't know you was black and white but he knew you wasn't all the way white and it ain't that he want a white woman it's that he wants something other than himself and that's what a lot of men do so if you notice you will notice a lot of light-skinned men marry a darker skinned woman and a lot of darker skinned men marry a lighter skinned woman look at serena williams husband all the way as white as casper and then serena is fully brown they on two totally different ends of the color spectrum but they came together and then now look at their daughter all of their kids gonna be a color [Music] like this the kids gonna be this color this is a gold you see what i mean or they could have be a little lighter or they could be a little darker it's going to be different depending on how many they have and so now their kids gonna have their own color which to a fully black person or a fully white person their kids could look exotic it was word that men try to use exotic like what is it like because but now i have clients that are you know their skin color is like this you know which is like a i can't it's not dark brown it's black they are black in the sense of the word and that is also seen as exotic to a brown skin or a fair-skinned person may see a person whose skin is really dark and say wow she's gorgeous and i have seen that and so what you have to understand when you're dealing with men who he may not even have money because there's such thing as the practice squad in the nfl which rn make more than a nfl player on the practice squad literally some school teachers make more than some nfl players a lot of people don't know that but there's some nfl players making 60 to 80 000 a year before taxes if you're on the practice squad and so now if you're on regular roster your minimum may be you know it's like 350 to 450 before taxes most of them being single day at the largest tax bracket so that 350 really cuts down to 200 after taxes and so that's 200 000 a year still don't make you rich but they're around guys who make millions so they get accustomed to that lifestyle living on that style and what these men try to have is it's just like how you see mike tyson had a tiger just how you see men with money have an exotic car they want an exotic woman a grown boy who has money or a status or around it wants his stuff to be exclusive and exotic you listen to the rappers that's what they rap about they rap about the exotic jewelry they exotic cars and they exotic women because grown boys take pride in that so what you have to realize is again this another lesson with black men black men have gone through so much in america and suffered so much that you dealing with the most damaged man in america when you deal with a black man you're dealing with the most traumatized man type of man a black man's pain is totally different than an asians man than an asian man's pain or a hispanic man's pain because asians and hispanic men and men from other countries were not slaves in america so black men actually have it harder in america than chinese men because in america the black man was seen as trash and less than so a lot of black boys have been made to feel ugly i just read about one of the rappers who said that growing up he wished he was white and that is because he got big lips and he's has darker complected skin so a darker complexion with thick lips and so that was put on cartoons blackface cartoons they had they gave them really thick lips and they gave them really dark skin so if you're a black man and you look like that or even if you like skin you still were made to feel less than the more pigmentation you have in your skin so that is why they that you seen the little um thing went viral it was like a chat room that was a hat of white women and they had a chat room talking about they would date black men sleep with black men you know deal with a black man but would never marry black men and it was saying it was a chat room of white women and they were saying like black men so desperate you could call a black man over at 3 a.m and he gonna come you ask a white man to come over at 3am he would never do that now what those women don't understand is the black men still see them a certain way still put them in a box but because the white woman is different it's seen as exotic it's seen as a taste of the rainbow whereas this black man grew up around all black women so therefore to the black women they become normal to him and i'm explaining this to y'all and for a lot of black women it's hard to hear even though a lot of you already know it but we just don't like to admit it a lot of times now unless a man is taught differently and my wife is light-skinned but i thought she was hispanic the reason why i approached her is because i wanted to sleep with a hispanic i thought i was going to have a one night stand i was going to use another race for a dump my wife turned out to be a wife meaning that she was so classy respectful responsible that i was like wow this is my wife i did not choose my wife because of her skin complexion because that's not how i was raised my father is my shade maybe a shade of shade darker than me my mother is four five shades lighter than me my mom lighter than my wife so if i would have chose a woman based on her complexion and i said i want a woman that looked like my mom that's my mama color because i came from a very light mom i wouldn't have been wrong for that because that's what i grew up seeing that's why you see a lot of biracial men date white women because their mom is white so when you start to look at it and pay attention a man typically ends up with the type of woman that his mom is unless he had a different type of life experience and everybody's life is different so somebody some for black men a lot of times it's a type of trauma that makes him choose a woman that appears to be white or super or of another race and if he chooses a woman that's light skin because of her light skin see it's a difference i didn't choose my wife because of her life light skin i didn't care what color because i had dated white women i had dated my ex-girlfriend before my wife who i was engaged to as a young man was darker than me so for me i wasn't color struck i was looking for the heart the character and that's why i teach character is currency but some men choose a woman based on her complexion and if a man does that that's because he has trauma within himself because of his complexion so there could be a white man that is intrigued with black people and he studied black music black culture and he played sports so he grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of black guys so then he became attracted to black women and he may think that his own race is less interesting there is no culture we don't have a as a white man he may say we don't have a food that is unique to our race like you know certain black people from africa or from the islands or certain part blacks in certain parts of america have a food that is their culture's food so he may say i love the beach to their music i love their dance i love their style i want a black woman you see what i mean and so i'm explaining all this to help y'all understand when y'all do this interracial dating or when you date somebody that's of another complexion especially when you're dealing with black men and i'm explaining this because i'm a black man trying to bend all up and through this and i got black guy friends who have white wives who have hispanic wives who have light-skinned wives dark-skinned wives you know one of one of my um guys he my color and his wife is he my color his wife is maybe four shades darker than him you know so um and he love her they happy so why did he go four shades darker than him he my color it could be because that's who he met and she had an amazing heart and he fell in love for her it could also be because he was intrigued because where he grew up he'd never seen a woman with that complexion and that caught his eye and he was drawn to it so don't lump every man into the same boat when it comes to who he's dating based on their looks now what you have to realize in your specific situation is you may want you a pro athlete because you may have seen people that you close to you know family members or friends who have pro athlete boyfriends and you see their life you see the comfort you see the private jets the mercedes benz the birkin bags the louis and you want that lifestyle and athletes men with money are attracted to you because you are viewed as exotic so they come into you and then you want a real relationship but you kind of want it all you want a man with money but you want a man who truly loves you but not realizing in our culture in our society today men of character are not praised or not lifted up are not rewarded publicly men of character who really really live it our brand and stuff grows the slowest you'll see men who teach on loving relationships who got way more followers than me but may not live the life that i live or they may be showing different type of bait maybe showing a body maybe you know showing themselves as single so they're growing for other reasons not just for the gift that they've given to the world and that's how our world is and then you'll see men who have money who have a girlfriend or a wife get caught cheating two three four five times and the woman stays so then that tells every other man hey if you have money you can buy a woman get her a lamborghini get her a chanel bag get her a birkin bag get a rolls royce get her a big house and you could cheat as much as you want to cheat and she believes that because every man cheats she'll rather stay with you with money than be with a broke man who still may end up cheating be with a man with less money who still may end up cheating and so that's what these men on average there are exceptions to the rule i had two clients in the nfl who were his age 25 and virgins were still virgins now both of them today are married they got married as virgins and they were successful nfl players so there are guys out there but on average you're gonna bump into a guy like this so what this guy is looking for he's looking for fun because you look exotic to him he this why y'all were enjoying each other's company and what you say y'all was doing um flying out every month we would go on dates every time we saw each other other activities like picnics in the park going to the gun range those are very creative days that's what a man do for a zebra you see what and what i mean by zebra a zebra different than a gazelle now he eat both of them a lion eat zebra a lion eat gazelle but see the zebra black and white got stripes on it look a little more exotic than the gazelle so the lion might court the zebra a little more so had this brother here had a black woman he probably wouldn't took her to a picnic in the park that's the truth and it's a shame he probably wouldn't took her to the gun right he probably would have had an in the house date and asked her to cook for him a black woman because he grew up around black women that's normal to him he used to them but a exotic looking woman that he called exotic see any exotic to me you're just another type of human exotic what you what you make it exotic could be any skin color but this is what i'm speaking in the language of these grown boys because i used to deal with them when i was a matchmaker i don't match make no more don't know nobody asked don't match me no more the reason why it's just too hard it's too hard too time consuming okay i can't charge you enough you know me and all the millionaire matchmakers she charged 75 000 so okay you got 75 okay all right i'll be on zoom interviewing me so so so tell me what's your five year goal brother oh okay all right all right 75 account okay okay yeah brother we got another hour so now tell me now you got 75 okay we can talk but i used to charge 5000 for matchmaking it's legal and it's it was a real business it was a few of us out here matchmaking i was good at it because i know how to read men and i know how to read people and i know what looks good what looks that's how i could look at people and tell day in the relationship for the wrong reason because i know what's attracted to what now see this right here with what you in i'm taking my time on this because i ain't got no coaching call right now so with this right here this guy he playing football okay so football gives you a lot of headaches football gives you a lot of pain he 25 so he's still a grown boy when you're dealing with athletes athletes mature the slowest in relationships because to become a pro athlete that means you were heavily involved in sports from probably the age of eight there's a few exceptions to the rule where the guy got started at 14 15 or 16 but typically it starts on average at the age of eight and as early as the age of two and a half three and they have travel sports my six-year-old son is on a travel soccer team so that literally means we driving an hour two hours for my six-year-old to try to kick a soccer ball that's how crazy it than got today but we do it because they keep them busy give them something to do and it's better than being on a video game or trying to find a woman on tick-tock on social media so we keep them busy but this is so these men i work with pro athletes i have worked with approximately 500 pro athletes and as a one as a mentor as a speaker today rookie class or to their team and or as a one-on-one life coach one thing i can tell you about pro athletes is when it comes to love and relationships because of how dedicated they had to be to their sport most of them are some of the most socially awkward lovers like relationship people that you're going to meet because they were kept in a bubble so to speak like when i was working with the top 100 high school basketball athletes we would have very real conversations and one of the conversations that would come up is how many girls have you slept with these guys would be you know 15 to 18 and majority of them would be virgins and a lot of people don't realize that because you think okay this guy tall he athletic you know handsome gonna go to the nba i know he got women swarming over him but they honestly don't have time for a relationship and they honestly don't have time to go have no sex so if you have somebody that's pretty much raising himself yeah he had a lot of experience but the ones who had a mama or daddy or both they number would be like three or less and and a lot of time the ones who's had three i could tell they were lying me i played football in basketball but not on a travel team i wasn't on the pro athlete track i was on the full scout college scholarship track but not the pro athlete track so by the age of 18 my number was 22 and i wasn't i ain't proud of it now but at that time that's how we defined ourselves as young men me and my circle and so i say that to say these men the ones who become pro-athletes they were such a square for lack of a better term majority of them literally 85 to 90 of them was in such a box that this is when they start to live when they become a pro athlete that's why you hear so many stories about these pro athletes with exotic dancers with prostitutes and escorts with all of these random women is because they're paying for experience because they grew up socially awkward or in a box or quote unquote lane that now they're just now cool with money and but before they got money women didn't want them because they looked odd or they act odd or they didn't talk to nobody because they were so just carrying that ball around all day and then just leaving school early to go to a tournament go to a game and so that's the truth about with pro athletes and what you have to realize is you disappointed because he's saying the vibe was off and used to and you think that you getting fluid out okay i know it's flown out you getting fluid out that's what we call fluid and y'all communicating every day and you get flu that every month but that's a jump off status so that's when a man he that's what pro athletes like to do so on the you getting flown out once a month and then he talking to you every day but not all day so he he may talk to you from the car from the practice facility from one room in his condo or house but have another woman flown in for two nights and he talked to you when he not around her or she know her role she know that she is a jump off she know that she a roster feeler so she know that he courting you and talking to you and she okay with it because she bumble bee triple x and she get a little bread for the bed you see what i mean she get bread for the bed okay so a lot of pro athletes they literally paying one to two thousand dollars an hour to be with women and so and and when they in this stage right here this is a socially awkward underdeveloped emotionally man he's emotionally underdeveloped spiritually underdeveloped and it's because of being a athlete full time his whole life so now he's in the state to where he want to live he want to explore and this ain't just pro athletes these this man who was just raised a certain way and don't become cool until he become an engineer like the young lady who wrote in who's with the engineer who not an engineer giving her his butt to kiss he become cool when he get into corporate and he making six figures now he want to live on that see it was the opposite for me and that's how i understand both sides is because i was quote unquote cool when the guys say cool because i have been with over 100 women by the age of 21. and a lot of times people say tony you talk about your experience and all it is how you had so much experience and you and you got out the game at 21 when you met your wife the reason being is because the average man by the age of 21 had been with three to five women i have been with over a hundred i was an absolute dog now i didn't tell my wife that and so i had was trying to change my life and she didn't ask me that the reason why i asked a lady i said why didn't you ask me that question she said because i didn't want to know the answer because i could assume you know just knowing he was athlete seeing how you was built and i just didn't i didn't want to give you the opportunity to lie for one and i just i don't ask questions i don't want to know the answer to because she grew up around athletes she played sports she knew how athletes some athletes could move when you not the in the box going pro athlete that so focus on your sport that you don't have time for a girlfriend she knew by the way i talk the way i write poetry you know my swag she just could kind of assume you didn't dealt with some ladies so that ain't worth talking about who are you today and how you and what you trying to bring to my table how you gonna treat me and that's how she approached it and then when i wrote my whole story in my first book that's when we was already married and it and it became real to her like oh but then she judged me for who i was at that time not who i had been so for me the reason why when i started earning six figures i didn't go but wow is because i had already done everything that a grown boy wants to do with men like this they the opposite so he could have been traumatized or socially awkward and then now he got the ability to have multiple women or to have quote unquote exotic women according to him and what he wants is he wants a woman that's going to shut up and play shut up and dribble like the lady told lebron she he want a woman that's going to play her role that's going to play her position you are a wide receiver you are a tight end get it he wants you to play your position receive what he trying to get you okay keep your end tight okay keep it for him but be okay being flued in and not not living with him not moving in and don't ask no questions shut your mouth don't ask me who i'm following on instagram that's that's how he moving and so you notice because you're saying you know i'm hurting confused why you heard it confused the only reason why he cutting you out is because you said your insecurity got the best of you and you opened your mouth and you said what's up with you following these white girls that's 20 21. is that what you really want am i not white enough for you essentially what you said and and he said okay listen in manglish he said you asking too many questions so now i see you insecure nah i see you the type to get mad now i see you tight to blow up the spot so now i see you got to get cut off because i need a woman that gonna shut her mouth and play her position that's what he want so guess what it's no sense in being hurt by this type of man but guess what if you looking for a pro athlete if you looking for a pro athlete then this right here gonna keep happening because men do not trust women so very rarely will a pro athlete be with a woman one who is acclimated to the world now a pro athlete that's green that's real that's young you know under 25 under you know 23 or younger they could be groomed because they've been so in that bubble they don't know nothing about the world so a woman who got a talk gang a woman who was cultured a woman who didn't been around a woman who didn't live a little life could wrap that man mind up but if the man kind of seen the world a little bit noah look he's street smart a woman not gonna be able to wrap up no pro athlete that's street smart he's going to stick with who he was with in high school or college he gonna go with the woman that he was with before he had money like the super bowl champion patrick mahomes he black and white i think his mama white i think his wife is white a lot of times mixed guys go with the color of the mama go with the woman that's the race that their mom is and because the mama had the most influence she in their life the most you know and so i think he had been with her i think it was said ninth grade either ninth grade or freshman year in college and so look up um and see this is the stuff that i study and and i study trends that's why i always say mahomes is 24 and matthews is 25 met while attending white house high school in white house texas the pair started dating when mahomes was in the 10th grade that's what you're going to see a lot of times with pro athletes they going to the familiar because when they go to the league we have a the leagues have a rookie symposium or rookie transition program what the nba call it nfl call it rookie symposium and if they don't have it with the league i think the nfl ended theirs they have it with their team and one thing that these players are warned about is women you meet on twitter women you meet on instagram women that you don't know from high school or college women who now they know who you are because you're a pro athlete so when you meet a pro athlete or a man with money and it's evident that he has money or status or power or position because some men could be in a position but be broke some men could have status and be broke but that still works for him so when you meet a man and the the mistaken term that people call these men is high value men they may be high net worth men but value is determined by a man's character not his currency in the bank his character is his currency so but when you meet these men who have status or power or money and you did not know them before they had that then you already have two strikes against you you come in with two strikes so you came in with two strikes and then you let your insecurities speak for you it was insecurity on your end but it also was intuition anyone necessarily intuition what you saw what you was watching and you was watching for that because of who you dealing with and you know the stereotype of pro-athletes you also are not a fool you are so you also know that two black men you seen as a trophy as a prize as uh as exotic but look at the trends in your life you also get used and dumped by these men so what you have to realize is you got to go where you celebrated not where you tolerated and it ain't about what you want it's about what you need so a lot of women play themselves because you want a man with status power or money but he don't want you and because you want that man with status power or money he can see gold digger in your eyes he can see the desperation not the thirst but the dehydration in your eyes because one thing you have to understand about men is that men do field research men collect data men are scientists every man is a scientist whether he got the paycheck for it or not every man is a scientist so men collect data so i was telling somebody earlier today this how i knew my wife was my wife because after having been with over a hundred women meaning having dated over 100 women i met my wife at 21 and she was the first woman that when i tried to kiss her on the lips after we had talked for days weeks hours when i tried to kiss her on the lips she moved her lips she turned her head she moved her lips and i hit her cheek when i tried to squeeze me some booty she grabbed my hands and pulled my hand from her butt to her waist when i finally got to stay the night with her and had her in the bed and i tried to slide the hand across that thigh and get my little something going she told me no we're not doing that try to get me one more grab no we're not doing that okay all right she getting ready tonight let me give him one more let me just ease the hand i went to this crown right on the little thigh she had clothes on she grabbed my hand she rolled out the bed i told you don't touch me told you and she kicked me out that was the first time in my field research in my data that my hypothesis had been proven wrong my hypothesis was i believe that if i get to spend the night and stay the bed stay in the bed with this woman i will get to sleep with her so then i went to doing my tests my experiment first one fell second one fell third one fell nine i want to defend to try to force myself or do nothing crazy but i just was used to men used to based on our field research a woman saying no i don't want to do that and just laughing it off joking it off and then the woman making out and then the man he's like okay nigel got to kiss her some more now let me suck on the earlobe now let me lick on a little net and so he knows that he used to women saying no i don't want to go there and then if he kiss her a little bit more spend a little more time with her then boom she ready freddy and so when a man talk to you he is comparing you to every woman he's ever talked to so a classy and respectable woman who has all her stuff together so see this the thing there was a type of woman that this man then hollered at on instagram and she talked to him and they communicate but he said hey can i fly you out and she said unfortunately not because i don't have vacation time right now and i'm a full-time nurse well i'm a full-time teacher we don't have backup teachers right now and my class need me so i can't do an unexcused absence so he has talked to women who got stuff going on and they said no but then when he say hey can i fly you out you clear your schedule you ain't got enough going on to where you could get out there every month whether even if it's on the weekend you making that trip and so he like okay she willing to travel that takes you out of this box of these women who got a lot going on who got a full life and can't make a move every month and put you in this box are the women who ready freddie to get flowed out now there are women who got flexibility and they can get out of work and obligations be flown to him they get there but they stay in a hotel there are women who get there they stay in his other room there are women who get there they stay in his bed there are women who get there they stay in a hotel and they don't sleep with them women who get there they stay in a room and they don't sleep with them women who get there they stay in his bed and don't sleep with them women who get there they stay in his bed and sleep with them women who get there they stay in a hotel but still sleep well stay in his other room still sleep with them you see what i mean this is the field research these the tests these the the studies that the man is doing so each woman women getting classed into different categories and so now if you available every day that's not a bad thing it's just long ass but she's not look it's it's a woman that's available every day but it's on her off time her lunch break she talking and building with her co-workers she ain't got time for you after she get off work now she can talk to you there's a woman who she available every day but she sneak and get on the phone while she at work and not supposed to be on the phone in the triage unit yinpo had no phones in there but she's sneaking and got an airpod in but just making sure her superiors is on this side and can't see the airpod can you hear me yeah i'm trying to i'm also hell i'm trying to i'm pretending like i'm playing with my hair but i can hear you i'm turning my mouth to the to the headphone okay here uh and she's sitting there talking like that so now this man say wow she willing to risk getting written up to talk to me she desperate she really feeling me i got a whole lot of leverage with her there's another one who on her break she said hey still at work i'll give you a call when i get off and get free she get off she go to the gym she go get her shape she come home she get her stuff together she take a shower she get a dinner she eat then she call him now she in a whole nother class so see a man is judging a woman based on how she interacts with him so in this right here now this right here was a little question specific to you but i don't turn this to a whole school lesson now so hopefully you got to this point everybody got to this hill point so in this right here this man he says because he listen even though a man could be young could be 25 and be a grown boy i was 21 when i met my wife i ran off after a few months we come back together got back together bumped into each other six months later after we got back together we was married 10 months later i still was a grown boy but i knew she was a wife and i could not let her get away again because i knew she was a wife when a man breaks up with you that means he has determined you are not a wife you are not his wife when a man lets you go lets you get away that means he's not ready for marriage or he does not see you as a wife so you came and you did not say i've never slept with them we don't sleep together so i'm assuming y'all sleeping together and typically when you're dealing with men with money or status or whatever and you're getting fluid out you getting on your back nine out of 10 times it's some women who get you know flown to the man and don't sleep with them but nine out of 10 of y'all y'all on your back that why i tell you stay off your back if you wasn't on your back you would have made a point to put that in here and so now you're available every day for the phone you're available every month to get flown out there you on his exotic scale then you get out there you get on your bike so now you fitting in all of the jump off stuff because this all within seven months you're not a college girlfriend you're not a high school sweetheart you somebody he met and it's been a guy that you've been dating over the past seven months and so now you doing you checking off a lot of boxes that the exotic dancers checked off that the porn star checked off that the escorts checked off you was available for him and gave your body to him in the way that a lot of other women who could have been lower class did so there and then you call him out about social media not you found something on his phone not you saw him out at a date with another girl not he got a text from another girl but you went to his social media and clicked on following and looked at who he is following so nine you went from girlfriend in the making to go go gadget knows so nine you become nostradamus and he like whoa so we just been talking seven months i'm an nfl player on my quote-unquote grind as he put it trying to reach levels i'm flying you out we going on dates and you on my instagram looking at who i'm following and then you go until they pay to figure out how old they is and what they race here oh my goodness sister you not on that level this is what he's saying in his head that listen we not on that level you're getting flued out and and nailed to the headboard what you thought that was come on i sliced up did i ask you to be my girlfriend did i and so so now for one he said he don't know what he want but younger and white isn't it [Music] then you ask him what were we doing so the thing is is you didn't even know what y'all were you didn't even know what you was doing and he told me that we were enjoying each other's company so that mean he never even asked you to be his girlfriend y'all were not an exclusive item but were you on your back the answer yes then you said i told him i don't do what we have been doing just for fun and he told me that he understands and that it has nothing to do with me he just didn't want and he didn't want to cut off what we had going on but then later he became distant and dry with communication he said listen i get it i understand if you don't want to be a friend with benefits if you don't want to be casually dating and let me nail you to the head board what without no exclusive commitment and you thought you were working on something cause you talking about you don't do this right here for fun but honey i was doing this right here for fun that's what he's saying my english so then he get dry and he get distant because he's like well i'm just dragging on just wasting the time ain't gonna do it like that because if she crazy enough to go search who i'm following and to go stop they paige and she know they age and know they race they could be mixed like she yeah but just had a light-skinned black daddy with a white mama they could be missed like she is she only knows she tall might and so not but she created enough to do that guess what she created enough to record me while i'm sleeping she created a steal song from me she created nothing to have me on the blog and she messed around and catch me cheap so let me get some distance so what happened is what went wrong is that you should have clarified at three months never date a man more than three months without becoming a exclusive and exclusive item an exclusive couple know what you are never get on your back for a man you see what i'm saying so you put yourself in friends with benefits roll and jump off roll but then was asking wife questions why you following these women you asking girlfriend questions so he like you a friend with benefits you not a girlfriend what are you asking me right now okay i see you think there's something i thought you knew what was going on i thought you knew that was just fun but you taking this here serious you trying to come up child pleading what i want got to go so that's what he did you played yourself getting flued out you're getting on your back you didn't get a commitment you didn't ask clarifying questions but then you went to digging then you asking questions like you his girlfriend but didn't even know what y'all was because that's why you asked him what we doing and then he had to let you know what he thought you already knew what y'all were doing obviously you know that or didn't think that so he said okay we done boom i'm gone so turn learn the lesson cut him off heal before you deal move on with your life block him go on about your business hey this is tony gassin god bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 45,943

Rating: 4.936255 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: pXv5p6TYdko

Length: 59min 59sec (3599 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 18 2020