My husband doesn’t want child #2 | Talks with Tony | Marriage Series

hey hey tony guys here popping in and i don't have a small business saturday today i just didn't have anything on my spear but so i'm doing a couple talks with tony while i'm a family out you know doing running errands and meeting up with people and stuff like that um first letter here hi tony i follow your page on youtube faithfully and first and foremost thank you to you and your wife for your commitment to helping others see the right way to walk through marriage and life together my question is based on my personal experience with my husband he has a child previous to our marriage six-year-old and we have a 14 month old together his first child was to a one night stand who took him to court and child support and he has no relationship with him as a result of the mother's unwillingness to work with him as a parent well my husband and i have known each other and dated for 13 years on and off and during one of our breaks got her pregnant well we healed from that and when we got married three years ago he was all in to have our son and now that we have him he has insisted on a vasectomy and states he does not want more children and that he told me so although that is not true he uses the bad experience with my stepson and the money he pays and the headache as a reason for him not wanting more than two kids although he's only raised hours and i've only had the honor of being a mother to one i have stated i'd even compromise to only having one more but he still insists that he doesn't want more i feel this is not fair to me and really hurts me and that he wants to control that outcome i'm in no rush for another child but i'm praying god changes his heart toward this so that i'm a year so that in a year or two he'd be open this would have been a deal breaker for me had i known this 13 years or even four years ago i have little family so establishing my own has always been important to me he comes from a house of six siblings and fourteen nieces and nephews and states that and and states that also plays a role in him not wanting more kids at this point i think he's pulling straws for reasons rooted in selfishness i'm his wife so i feel no need to trap my own husband or do anything deceitful i just want him on board how do i handle this without frustrating him with the topic and keeping my own peace thank you best regards now one time the other day i was reading the letter and i said the lady name and had my first time having to cut off the video and delete it and start all over so i ain't do that this time now now this is very interesting okay but this is who you married and it's been 13 years that you've been with them and y'all been on and off nah we're not gonna get into the one night stand baby and it being a break baby we not gonna get into all of that okay yeah but yeah we'll leave that where i said okay that's a another conversation break baby one night stan yeah so first and foremost you i ain't gonna say that you're married okay so now what you have the right to do in marriage is to do a little looking around when you're married when you marry there is no privacy his phone is your phone his email is your email his social media is your social media if that's not the case that's a red flag in itself so do your little look around just to see if it's any extracurricular activities going on in your marriage with the person you've been with 13 years on and off because healthy relationships that are going somewhere and that will last a lifetime are not on and off they also do not involve break babies they also do not involve one night stand babies so bigger than this here child issue you got a couple of things you need to keep your eyes open too all right the next thing i want you to understand is that you can't pop a baby and then within 14 months be talking about another one when you got a man who already ain't fond about the idea you see what i'm saying so like that's your first mistake when you go to talking about it and then you saying you in no rush so why are you bringing it up it's like the man i mean got a chance to sniff this baby you know your baby still got a baby smell on and so you know he needs some time to fall in love with the baby yes i know you think that as soon as a man have a baby he fall in love with the baby but that's not the case for me that's why you got so many single mothers because men take longer to fall in love with that baby and because when a baby 14 months old when a baby's a little you feeding that baby every two hours so that means either you rolling out the bed every two hours or he rolling out the bed every two hours or that mean the baby's sleeping in the bed with y'all if that's how y'all do or in the bassinet right by your bed and waking up crying so a man not being built for that that's why god have a woman carry the baby and give birth to the baby and have the supply the milk for the baby because he also created your brain to be a little more patient and a little more understanding a little more loving of a baby see men the way men communicate is a to b whereas if a woman trying to get to b a woman has the cognitive the cognitive skills to take you from a to lower case a to g to j to m n o p q r s wrap you round bring you all the way back to b women possess those skills a man gonna tell you like an is so he's saying listen i don't want no more kid but he's not explaining why because that's not how men are on average and you have a very average man maybe slightly below average man so on this type of man is not going to be able to say listen i it's not that i don't want kids is that i don't want to talk about having a child right now you still closing up from the last from the baby we just had like can we go two years with this baby before we talk about the next one like can we make sure all the bills secure can we get a college fund started like i'm a provider as a man and i have to think about how this baby gonna get through school how this baby gonna go to college what kind of car this baby gonna get at 16th birthday like give me some time to really wrap my head around what's going on and i'm also hurt and torn and broken because i was a grown boy and i got another child that i don't even have a relationship with that i got to take care of then i also looked at as the successful uncle and i got all the i got 14 nieces and nephews so if i want to spend a hundred dollars on a family member for christmas it's already 1400 a week in the hole every christmas not to mention another 1400 throughout the year for birthdays so or or 700 if y'all do 50 dollars but typically you're going to spend 25 to 50 on a gift for your niece and nephew so see a man look at all of that right there when he counting the cost of a child if he halfway decent and he must be decent because a no good man is after the type of man that will keep you barefoot and pregnant so that you trap he actually saying what he really saying in my english is listening his job i might not be here next year so why you trying to get on your bike talk about getting pregnant child i don't want you to be a single mama too you already finna be a single mama one my goodness you keep begging about a child girl don't you know i'm getting ready to leave we've been 13 years on and off the last time we were off i should have stayed off my goodness you barely hanging on i got married too last resort and there was no break baby i was sleeping with her the whole time it just we were so toxic and on and off i just was able to ride that excuse and say that was an off when we was off when she got pranked yeah we're still on and one night stand i would wear her three times a week one night stan if you if i could shoot that good i mean you already would have three four kids it's been 13 years we've been together you know good and well i shoot dog water so how all of a sudden you believe i got her pregnant in a one-night stand childhood finna be gone all right keep hollering by that's what he wanna say you see what i'm saying that's what he wanna say now see you ain't thought about all that but see i'm a man so i can hear what he's not saying i can hear what he's not saying y'all forgive my hydraulic i need to come on down a little bit so i can hear what he's not saying so that's why because on average men love to see our seed come to life like if it was up to me if it was up to me i have me by two more children i might have me four or five but guess what i ain't got to carry the baby i don't have to push the baby out when the baby goes crying and need to be fed every two hours i don't have eight breath two feet baby every two hours so guess who that ride on my wife i don't have the intelligence to help my kids with a private school homework so that they could get straight a's my wife does that now i could earn money and take care of the house i could pay the bills but to get them to be excellent in school so that they can carve a path and go to college if they want to and and then decide what they want to do i can't do that and because i have to serve 3 million people online and because i'm called to this and i got to show up and be here every day because i got to be obedient to my calling guess what i don't always have the wherewithal to give children every ounce of emotion but because i'm blessed in my purpose my wife doesn't have to work so she says i will take them to school i will pick them up i will help them with homework and she has made that her purpose that's why y'all don't see her on these videos with me because she say my purpose my calling right now is to our children you call to that so i'm not gonna force myself to come be a relationship coach and a life coach with you just so we could do business together because we in different seasons right now i'm called to these children and so guess what my wife don't want any more children because of the toll that it takes because she knows how much she gives her personality is to give everything to give all of her some people say well tony why don't you don't do more for the kid why are you stepping up because she won't let me my wife that and i don't want to overstep my boundaries because that's where she gifted that so that's what she is very good at her heart her spirit her articulation the way she could communicate with him so i ain't gonna just step in hey let me take him to school hey let me do this hey let me go out there and play baseball with them my wife take my sons out before i do to work them out and play catch with them she do that with them because i might be on the phone three o'clock to four o'clock coaching somebody so because she don't have a you know job like where she got to be working for people and serving other people she got that free time to wear when i'm serving in my purpose she say let me go out and play cat then when i get done then i could go out there and play catch with them and you know me and my son been playing ping-pong tournaments and playing the video games and doing whatever but i'm tied up in this over here so she take care of that right there so guess what because she don't want more children right now that may change i'm cool with it because i understand how much pressure she puts on herself and i don't want to add that pressure yeah i could sweep nothing and try to coerce her and try to convince her but when you marry you never should put something on your spouse that they don't want because that's a sign that's a sign if i coerce my wife into having a child her postpartum could be so drastic that it could ruin her life or our life forever it could cost us our marriage so that's what you have to realize are you more concerned about having children about having a healthy marriage and trying to make it work with this 13-year on and off husband of yours y'all need to focus on y'all you don't need another distraction you don't need nothing else because y'all hanging on by a thread you don't know that but i could tell that because i'm a man and this what i do and so when a man cuz typically typically a man ain't don't care about how many kids you want to have because unless he's just so focused on money tell me man i don't care about that now me personally deep down i say i have more kids but i know i really don't want no more kids either when i really get deep down in it so obviously it's been a breeze for you these 14 months because you don't have to talk about here you ain't worrying about nothing else you you just completely it's been a breeze for you and if that's the case congratulations congratulations but the other thing what you have to think about which i see this a lot i see this a lot sometimes women get a little jealous when a man has another child from another woman and they want to keep having children so that they can take all of that man's love and attention for their children so you got to make sure that's not the case now make sure that his six-year-old is not another gender see if his six-year-old is another gender then then y'all 14 month old then that'll raise a little red flag to me and say oh she gave him a boy you gave him a girl so now you want to try again cause you want to give him a boy because you want to be his everything and you see a void in his heart because he doesn't have a relationship with the six year old make sure that ain't the case i hope that ain't the case now could be stepping on toe you ain't say i didn't see on here uh or i overlooked it okay so now y'all okay y'all got a son okay so y'all got a son now is the six-year-old a daughter and you want to give him a daughter or is it because you got a son and you want to have you a daughter just because you a woman and you want to have that you know daughter that you could dress up cute and all of that right there so now here's the thing you say you're not in a rush in any rush now this this what happens okay this will happen so we had my first son we had my first son and i wanted another but my first son was premature so my wife was like no we're not having a second child this is a whole lot he take a lot we got to focus right here and we barely got through this one it's because it's hard you know it's hard for for somebody who they think about finances see me i'm like oh child ain't that special girl yeah that girl you milk right now and then all the child got doing walk around in diapers that's a baby we got about no clothes and shoes and all that and then in the winter we just stay in the house because you ain't working for nobody else so you just keep the baby in the house and just baby gotta have number diapers when you gotta handle clothes but see somebody who think about finances and how much a child calls which sounds like that's what your husband doing he's counting the cost and so if he helping pay the cost then he like oh hold on calm down so you see what i'm saying so i had what i had to do is i had to get on my grind and i had to create the situation that will alleviate the stress see with my wife her main stressor was having the finances to properly take care of a child because she wants certain things she wants her child to be able to dress nice look nice and have everything that a child needs and she want her child to be able to go to a good school go to a private school go to the the daycare at the private school because she want them to be able to pray in school she want it to be a small classroom environment so they have one-on-one attention with the teacher she want her child to not be herded in so even when we couldn't afford private school she went to the private school out on faith and got on financial aid and got a rate that was never heard of and then we grew to the point that we now we not only pay full tuition for both of our son but we even donate extra so god grew us in 20 my first son was born 2007. we conceived my second son in 2013. sixth year but see no they ain't no six yeah that's easier yeah that's six yeah so you see what i'm saying but it took that much time 27 2007. she had some worries financial words guess what by 2013 when we conceived she had got baby fever herself because things had leveled out for our oldest son things were going smooth she had it under control and she said i think i want another baby oh hey girl i've been waiting already i don't right in there right away you hear me and so i but i had to get to a place where now she know okay the first song we could barely afford what we needed and he got a check every month for his you know ailments being premature being a premium baby he had ssi the second son now we're in a total different situation so now could afford it you're not gonna have to want for anything let's go so that's what you have to understand when you're in marriage you always have to consider your spouse wants and needs and desires because they may have fears that they are not articulating or that they don't know how to articulate and if you coerce your spouse into doing something that they are fearful of it could ruin your marriage but it also could cost you it could cost you greatly and what i mean by that is if you have a second child you try to take a little fertilization thing and and then you whining and dying to him and you walking around in lingerie and all of this you all karaoke singing on the microphone and then just so you could uh catch him off guard and have you another one he may resent number two from you it'll be number three for him number two few he may resent your number two and be rude be nasty be distant may cheat on you out of anger out of get back out of revenge so what you have to focus on really what you want to focus on is your communication focus on your relationship don't worry about another one for two three years give you a little time to get things in order get things smooth flowing get it smooth flowing and then look at his tension look at those pain points do you look digging and make sure he's not emotionally cheating because see when a man got another woman on the side that he's building with emotionally it'll make him not want to add to his household because he don't want to add more responsibility because he doesn't know if he's going to be with you three years from now and i know that's hard to hear but hey when you write me y'all better be ready for the truth this ain't nothing for you to take to him now certain stuff if i don't say show this to him this is not for him this for you you don't want to go to him and say so um i was told by a relationship coach on youtube that you probably don't want a child because you're cheating and you're getting ready to leave what do you have to say about that that's what y'all be doing and that's how y'all be messing up that's how y'all be messing up because now you finna get dogged out because now you're disrespecting him by bringing another man opinion into his household and putting it in his face instead of you just having the knowledge for yourself and and i know that sounds like common sense it is far from common sense because it is so many women tony gaskins said let me do he pay bills well why don't you go over there bill the reason and him and his wife marriage and get out my face keep telling me about what the such and such tony gaskins bring the last deal tony gaston paid in this mf house you think i care about and that's how and then y'all begin to kick out of that and then not he mad now he in my dm going off on me now i got to send shots at him now i got to be threatening his life now he got to be getting closer to meet the lord because now you don't send him the ball to me so now i got to protect myself so now you're going to be husband-less now you finna be a widdle because you don't got him so hyped up he ready to leapfrog and i'm going to have to squash him and now you're going to be a widow so now you could have just got the knowledge it but no you want to go rubbing his face another man a real man told me so listen this knowledge is for you all right do you look around condition hug i wouldn't tell you to do this it's your boyfriend for those of y'all not married this does not apply to you there is privacy when you dating y'all are not one y'all two when you married you won everything that's heals is your this your husband do your little looking all right make sure ain't no other woman there because that could be the part the other thing is either y'all tight financially and you just don't really realize it or y'all not tight financially because typically i a woman with her right mind don't want to add another child if things ain't gravy all good in the financial department so that right they'll make me think a little something so y'all must be doing good for you to be thinking about another child all right now let me look okay okay let me see what you said i have stated i'd even compromise to only having one more so why you want multiple my goodness you must be a housewife because i don't know how you're gonna want multiple kids if you're working four hours a week unless you're just gonna be dragging your kids around like a little puppy like a little extra like a little um accessory but you wanted multiple you might be all white but then you say i have little family so establishing my own has always been important to me okay i misread that i misread that i read that as you saying you have little family so like support so you big on getting your own money but this means you have little family meaning that you don't have many family members so establishing your own family has always been important to you now see this another lesson right here and i'm getting ready to go i like to be done at 30 minutes another lesson here is what she said now for those y'all watching she said had i known she said this would have been a deal breaker for me had i known this 13 years or even four years ago all right the lesson there is make sure you have in these dayton when you start seriously dating make sure you have very real conversations about them f's finances family faith friends fitness all all the elves make sure you have very real conversation rewind it hit the hit the little and take it back 10 seconds just so you can write them else down i think i'll talk about them in my book single is not a curse make sure you have the conversation because obviously y'all miss that conversation now you up the creek now you up the creek without a powder and you want more kids and he's like oh uh i got to pay for the e kid so it sounds like he must be the breadwinner and like he making the money he got to pay for the kid he already paying child court and that right they're gonna rub a man real wrong when he paying child support and he don't have a relationship with a child and it let me know he a decent dude that he paying child support and he don't have a relationship with who took him to court and child support and he has no relationship with him as a result of the mother's unwillingness to work with him as a parent so so yeah so he paying child support he's a decent dude because the type of men that i know from where i'm from they all in the rears on that child support you talking about bike pay they they run in front of police oh so much money they get a parking ticket they going to jail they owe so much money on child support so a lot of men would not pay that child support so what it sound like to me because you say y'all went off and on but you didn't mention that he didn't cheated on me multiple times he didn't put hands on me he's a terrible guy what it sounds like to me is you got a a decent dude you got a pretty good guy now when i say below average i'm talking about this here one night stand baby the break babe and all that but he a decent guy when it comes to trying to do the right thing so if he paying child support he trying to do the right thing and what he's saying is i already got two children that's costing me you want three and four and five even number three might sank me might bankrupt me emotionally i can't deal with it emotionally i need some time to just get my head above water like come on now because this on me financially and so and and i could tell now you look like a housewife too because just i know how people get treated i know how the world treat people based on how they look so you know and you ain't saying about you know i'm going to work and but i balance work and the job and then when you and i just do not my wife don't work for nobody else and don't want number three and number four so here's the thing sometimes when you get married the fantasy that you had growing up is not reality sometimes when you get married what you dreamt of coming up and if that meant so much to you that was a conversation you should have had so you can't be mad at nobody but yourself for not getting down to the nitty-gritty the root of how many children do you want to have john and how many are you sure okay so what's your plan for two children for three children what is your plan that's a conversation you should have had so you can't come now keeping that you know kept that secret by how important it was for you to build a family and then now when you got the ring now you want to spring it on oh i want another child he's like this baby he just started walking two months ago and you already talking about another chocolate maybe he's still on on the milk we can't even get his baby the green beans yet and you talking about another child come on sister double he that's what he's saying you said i'm saying so just pump your brakes listen and then you in here i feel this is not fair to me and really hurts me that he wants to control that outcome this is he not controlling the outcome he have he have so you want listen you should not want a child unless he want a child because the worst thing that you can have is a man that is reluctant to have another child and then you get him to have to agree to it that man baby gonna be trying to walk around learning how to walk sit down sit down you know anytime sit down you say i'm saying trust me you do not want a child with a man who is not all the way over the moon thrilled if he's not like yes baby hey i'm so glad you want another one because i want another one it's like for me i kind of always envisioned like having them one apart and like them kind of being able to play some sports together and protect each other in school like that was always my vision that's where your man need to be at if you gonna have your another that's why if he not there if he all right here okay look here come on come get on it okay it's coming okay get up all right just do that every day until the test comes back positive i'm going to work that's where he at that's what he at that you don't want to bring another child into the house with that so understand this right here marriage is about compromise it's about compromise and it's about healthy compromise not bringing in a whole nother child you got to realize a child is not like a car a child is not like you adding a dog a dog even easier because dog ain't got to go to college dog ain't got to wear clothes every day dog you know what i'm saying you just feed the dog dog just food you know unless you get your old you know dog that really went through a whole lot they had a whole struggle of a life and then you got to have going to the vet all the time but on average i thought there's gonna be food for the most part all right a little bit but so adding a whole nother child that's a lot of emotions that's a lot of time that's a lot of ripping and running you got one child going to baseball over here one child going to dance recital over here you got i i watch families with three children or multiple children even two just everywhere so that's a whole nother responsibility and that's what he trying to say like hold on hold on so listen if he have not gone and gotten a vasectomy already without your permission then that means that there's some hope because they say it's like a 20-minute procedure they say it feels like a they say it feel like a little thunk see me i am not going to get one just case my wife changed her mind but then two i just i'm just a type unless i got to go have a man looking at my private like i absolutely have no other choice i'm not going to the doctor for hell no man looking at my dog what you looking why are you looking so hard why you you touching the extra you have to do all that see that's how i'm you know so that's why i ain't going to get oversight and honestly truthfully i just don't want nobody oh he's from youtube the nerd the aide the nurse aiden with her phone and snuck up on and now i watch his videos on youtube okay what sharika asking getting on her okay that's why i ain't going but so if he ain't snuck in now to go get it without you because a man ain't a man ain't scared of you he's scared of you so if he really want one he'd already got it or he'll go get it and he don't care about how you feel because like y'all like y'all say my body my choice oh a man believe that too his body his choice so if he has not gonna get it that means that he need to see that he need to see what type of mother you gonna be to this hill 14 month old so if he don't feel all the way comfortable that y'all got this thing under control he's not going to want to add on to that if you already slacking as a mom and he don't feel like see for me if my wife wanted a third child i would not care because i see the level of mommy that she owned she a hall of famer she is a hall of fame mom like i've never seen anybody who know my wife say i have never seen a mother that is this good at mothering as sheree gaskins so if she wanted 10 children oh girl come on you have all alone you won't because i see the level she on so if he he could be looking at you and like john you want a second child for instagram wait till the baby start crying take a picture put it on instagram like you mom of the year and then cut the camera off from the child screaming screaming alongside the boy about the had a hysterectomy crying so hard while you over there on instagram your butt over there on youtube oh i love watching the man talk on youtube and then now you're emailing them i seen you email them while the baby screaming crying you on the email see he could be doing he may know something or feel something about your mother that he has not expressed to you because he don't know how to say it without hurting your feelings so see that's why i say you got to dig a little deeper when you marry it's all about compromise and communication i learned a lesson in december and i told my wife i said baby the lesson that i learned is to listen to you more and to not try to talk you into what i want to do but to listen to your first mind and if your first mind does not agree with the idea not to keep talking like i'm a lawyer in the court a law trying to persuade you to see it my way i say that's what i learned i learned that and that's what a relationship is is when you sit down with your spouse that you have chosen to marry so the person must not be that bad if you chose to marry him so if you chose to marry him that mean you have to value and respect his wishes so if you sit down with him and say hey what do you think about child number two and he said absolutely not i actually was thinking about a vaset to me as you came up here to ask me that question i was envisioning how i'm gonna do this what's that i mean what it's gonna be like so absolutely not please take that somewhere else that is not what i'm interested in hey you marry him that's your husband so guess what that come with marriage compromise and and if it meant that much to you that was a conversation you should have had before you all got married so she sometimes so we make our bed we got to lay in it don't make no bed and want somebody else to lay in it you know don't make no a bed of rocks and then want fred flintstone to come sleep on your bed or rocks no you made your bed a rocks you got to lay on it because at the end of the day listen you not compromise you compromising a want you're not compromising a need you don't need no another child you're not compromising self-respect you're not compromising self-worth see a unhealthy compromise is when somebody asking you to compromise your self-worth or your self-respect not your wants so if your husband was saying hey you know baby you know i know i got married and all that but one thing i always dreamt of is having multiple women at once because i don't feel like it's right for a man to just be a one-woman man the rest of his life because that's not how we're built and you know the nature of men you've dealt with men you've had so many men grab your butt in the club without your permission you've had many men sipping at you and all of this right here so you know the nature of men because you know you're a beautiful woman so you know how we're a wire and one thing that i really want is to have a happy household with two women and i have a you know female friend that's willing to join our relationship and it's kind of like okay what do you want do you want me to cheat on you or do you want me to be honest with you and you know about it and we all be happy guess what it's so many relationships like that today because that's what the man has posed to the woman but the woman is so lost broken and confused she hear this stupidity that is completely absurd and she's saying so you're telling me i'm not enough for you and then he give all another bogus excuse then she like she sleep on it then she wake up a few days later you know i thought about it and i'm okay with it but i'm just all i'm asking is that you just be completely honest with me and that it's only one woman that you're bringing in because like number three number four and all this i'm not sure i can handle that i don't know for sure but i said i'm not sure i can handle that but for right now just the one and i'm gonna be honest with you too i have to help pick her out because if she is groceries i do not want to be with her so she needs to look cute to me as well that's what women doing that is compromising that is an unhealthy compromise men and women are doing that today people be writing me by the polyamory polly i said you'll get i ourselves saved if you don't get i only know what that word ill yes i know what it is i don't even recognize the word it was a young lady who was a pretty lady dm me and asked me how do i feel about polyamory me and my wife her girlfriend would like to be polyamorous with me about i say what why i went so crazy in that dm because i just couldn't believe the devil sent me a mess like that i said ma'am you are crazy i said man that is absolutely insane i say that is not love i see you so completely lost now see now that's another subject but what i'm saying is that is i don't want to draw that out for you because if many men are asking that of their wives that is an unhealthy compromise but for a man to say listen i'm not ready for another child i do not want no other child i'm actually considering what's happening right now please he going somewhere with that that's not you need to listen to that because you don't want to create a toxic situation by bringing a whole baby less and that's the thing is like sometimes women treat children like puppies and y'all don't understand sometimes men and women sometimes some adults don't understand the true responsibility that it takes when you have children a lot of people just popping out children but not even affording the child a life your child don't your child at a ghetto d school c c minus school child don't get to play sports ain't in no sports no excurricular activities child just just eating all the snakes at the pantry and and that's it and just eating and watching youtube ain't got nothing going on that's developing the child and culturing that child and helping that child grow and that's what we have to think about as parents so anytime your spouse is not 100 on board with a with bringing in a whole nother human let it go ask god to give you the peace and the serenity to be okay with this season and with this choice and if you want his heart to be changed pray on it every day lord give him the courage the peace the strength the love lord help me become a better mother a better wife so that i can show him that this is not going to drown us this is not going to ruin our relationship that i can handle this that he can handle this that we can do this together pray that prayer every day and then you show up you show up and you be i had to show my wife if i want another child i had to show her that i could provide i had to show her that i could be locked in and focus and that i could be gentle that i could lead with love i had to show her that because i would rough around the edges i would rough i would rug it i would i was too blunt i was too rude i would you know i ain't i want you know soft enough gentle enough for a child so i had to show her that so you need to see what you need to show him because he could be his lack of faith in you and your mothering in addition to his fathering so understand that now so i'm going to add this to the marriage series so when y'all see talks with tony and you see mario series i plan on doing a marriage series but it's been good that we had some married people ask questions because this just be added to the marriage series so it'll be in both of those playlists so you'll see that there and um and then i plan to do other marriage videos in addition to these but it just i have to speak to the need that i have like i to be honest with y'all i'd much rather have me a car page and be showing my cars and showing the stuff i'm getting done to my cars that's what i would love to do but this is what i'm called to so 70 of my audience is single so although some of y'all is married i got to attend to the need and 95 of my audience is women i would love to talk more to the men but it don't make sense to be doing video that's falling on deaf ears because it's only women watching so i do five percent of my video for me because it's five percent of my audience is men so i say that to say that's why y'all don't see so many marriage videos is because seventy percent from the polls i've done of my audience is single hey tony guys god bless y'all may put one more of these up today if i get the opportunity when i check my phone make sure my wife don't need me god bless you will talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 14,944

Rating: 4.9557791 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: STZOLIwDx8g

Length: 47min 31sec (2851 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 19 2020