Doom Movie 2 - All Fish, No Barrel

so I don't really like to do movie reviews on this channel anymore because almost every time I've done one it's been okay this requires me to go into how YouTube's copyright claim system works so here we go YouTube spots claim matching audio-visual material for movies and television and automatically decide that your video will have ads running on it and the proceeds of those ads will go to the copyright holder instead of the person who made the video this happens if you're using anything really the only movie review that hasn't been copyright claimed is Max Payne which I only think happened because everybody forgot that there was a Max Payne movie I mean that postal 3 video got claim for Chumbawamba thanks Katie and to get by that you have to do some creative editing like you might notice certain parts of videos that are references to movies aren't edited like the movies themselves and those cuts they fool the bots check it out this Full Metal Jacket clip from the pro doom 2 video cuts out a bunch of sargent Hartman's threats not just for that quick punch in that comedic effect but because if I left it in the video which is 99% about doom 2 would be paying for some Warner Brothers executives cocaine now you can claim fair use that thing that lets use clips for movies in order to critique or parody them and that's all well and good except when you appeal a claim the person who judges that claim is the person who owns the copyright and has a financial incentive to reject that claim because when you give a corporation the choice between making money and not making money they'll usually choose the money now the argument can be made that they don't want to make that money in fact doom annihilation is a very good argument for a company not wanting to make money people have been endlessly asking me if I'd seen doom annihilation when I'm gonna make a video on it apparently now so 2016 a new tomb game came out and Universal was like we have the rights to that holy [ __ ] we stroked up a million for direct video chibi we tried a big bunch of blockbusters before but people didn't just weren't into it cuz diseases doom Branch just didn't put acid seats yes that was what was wrong with that movie some 4/5 [ __ ] write this down cheap doom movie big Marvel style extended universe using all the universal monster properties that we weren't doing anything with okay so the cocaine thing isn't what happened actually the writer director went to the studio and the studio said here's a list of properties we own pick one and he said doom and this was 2015 so Universal was like it maybe not and then in 2016 another doom game came out and it was a hit so to a movie the movie even got delayed to clean up some of the effects shots it comes from Universal 1440 which is the direct-to-video arm a universal and looking at their releases you start to see a pattern dragon heart vengeance a sequel to dragon heart you remember that movie thank you the dragon's mouth to sing when we're happy inside man Most Wanted you remember inside I don't I don't know what that is death race for beyond anarchy the fourth film in the death race reboot franchise I remember seeing the first one in thinking you didn't even put Jason Statham in a [ __ ] suit and give him a hand grenade were you even trying curse of chucky and cult of never get in the movies I've actually seen they too bad I guess I mean Brad Dourif is always welcome bulletproof 2 which is a sequel to a movie from 1996 starring Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler that I didn't know existed until now how high to how higher Kindergarten Cop 2 starring Dolph Lundgren assigned to recover sensitive stolen data a gruff FBI agent goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher but the school's liberal politically correct environment is more than he bargained for Benchwarmers 2 breaking balls a sequel to that movie with Rob Schneider John Heather and David Spade that no one [ __ ] remembers granddaddy day care granddaddy day care bring it on : worldwide hashtag cheer smack bigger fatter liar the land before time 14 doom annihilation comes from the director of soccer dawg the movie and I tend to create direct-to-video movies on a curve because they don't have the budget a big movie so you know you got to be easier on them unless they're like especially inept and terrible ah I don't know I find it hard to passionately hate this movie because it tries it tries it doesn't succeed it's not like the first movie where they had star power and a huge budget I'm pretty sure the rock and Karl Urban can make almost anything watchable Karl Urban did that fantastic Dredd movie reacted entirely with his mouth I said in the video previously that no one has ruined the doom series yet because they haven't put out a bad game the movies don't really ruin anything for me I needed Super Mario Brothers ruined Mario for anyone so the movie starts with scientists and you might be tricked into thinking that it's already better than the other two movie cuz they're on Phobos and Earth see the Delta labs are in Nevada connected to the Phobos base and by these teleporters in this teleporter room which you might notice is the same set for the teleporter room on the other side which is cool look you're gonna notice that some of these areas are copied and pasted at rooms whole hallway so it gets a little confusing they're gonna send this poor guy through the teleporter here which looks perfectly safe and not at all like it has some evil looking ruins on it was he in McDormand not available that is dr. Patrick er yes he is evil and yes he is using a keycard that looks like one of the doom 2016 key cards so he can activate the portal this portal doesn't look dangerous at all nothing to worry about if you're watching this movie already know what's gonna happen at least the movie has hell and demons in it this time around okay dude ghosts through portal he comes out success everyone's happy except no one notices he's all [ __ ] up until this lady does their clapping they're shaking hands they just invented teleportation they didn't really but we'll get to that later meanwhile in a flashback to an episode of a medical drama this lady is dying and she gives her daughter across kiss moment you won't pin now this is pretty sad I hope the next thing isn't a wild and ridiculous tonal shift that sucks all the air out of it my name is Daisy and I'm here to assist you in any way possible here's our main character Joan d'Arc how do you think John Grimm was a dumb name Joan d'Arc fanatically identical tissue or as the English speakers know her Joan of Arc you would think this would be important as a metaphor beyond a girl who I guess historically had something to do with religious stuff it doesn't unless the demons are stand-ins for the British my name is Daisy and I'm here to assist you in any way possible Daisy like the rabbit you know it's a bad sign that this is a more fitting 2001 reference than it is a doom reference because Daisy is the ship's AI the pilot has a lucky rabbit's foot but that doesn't help him oh hell yeah badass no get that Lady Diana cancer out of here we need crew high jinks the captains are drunk I totally went through all your stuff during the four-month slumber the shower doesn't work okay I want to talk about that lady with cancer again look around here it looks like this is present-day but then let's say 15 or 20 years later we're on a spaceship with holographic vital displays in the cryo sleep tubes Krypto sleep fine cryo sleep you son of a [ __ ] did you guys oh man is he playing a VR game with a headset on a cell phone in the future with motion controllers for each hand yeah layers man that deep sleep learning program does that [ __ ] really work we men of me yeah she learned how to speak French when she was wait what the [ __ ] there's no chance you just forgot no breathitt getting to know the crew part of this movie and you got two groups of people having two separate conversations right and like I didn't edit that they just dropped one thing mid-conversation you think it was the same one because of the editing but it's not she's talking about lucky panties I never go anywhere without them then one lucky pair but it's really a nod to the flowing eccentric conversation style you would hear in a Robert Altman nice oddish is bad but think Joan d'Arc walks in and it gets super awkward in that oh it's her kinda way like she made a racist joke on Twitter here's the point of this scene anyway what we dated for what six weeks ten years ago it was why four months oh man that's cold I'm sorry dude I'm sure this is the worst thing that's gonna happen to you in this movie okay so why does everybody hate Joan Joan d'Arc did a bad thing and so everybody hates her you [ __ ] up lieutenant and now we're all stuck here on earth ready to it in the [ __ ] due mood the captain seems marginally on her side see she did a thing that got everybody in trouble by disobeying orders like the original doom guy remember he actually refused to fire on civilians and punched his co-captain I begged the review board to punish only me I can't believe they didn't take the advice from the person they were disciplining for insubordination I'm sure it's something like that but instead of putting that at the beginning of the movie you know so the audience has some kind of context for why everyone hates her that's what I'm gonna do after we land I'm gonna get the unit set up and then I'm gonna resign he's talking to his wife who we never see as a character so that really doesn't matter and it's intercut with this girl finding her lucky panties okay but I want to talk about that lady with cancer again we saw Joan's mom dying of cancer which factors into the plot much much less than that insubordination if at all the stolen panties have more of an arc than cancer mom the UAC is a little nervous because the last guy who went through the portal came out of zombies so Betruger says he'll go into the portal and they're like yeah okay that doesn't sound crazy at all so he does yes oh yeah of course she's not the most well recognized scientist on Phobos because her stuff is more abstract but they dumped half the work on her and had her do it in like six weeks and she pulled through stuff explodes and then this lady she goes to the doom 3 health station but she doesn't know how to use it and in this room full of other conscious people nobody notices a monster that's now there even though this is really brightly lit room and we've seen all of it you know this is actually really faithful to the games that I'm gonna explain why see one of the breakthroughs of those early 3d engines is that they were only drawn what you were looking at so really the only thing that exists is with the camera I'm kidding this is a glaring issue in this movie and I don't even know how they [ __ ] it up the Marines land on Phobos and they all have to exit one by one using a ladder you know tactically they get a distress call that sounded like monsters you know dayz played [Applause] you might remember this scene from that other better doom movie there's a problem though because the reserve power is it like two percent and that means that the reactor is gonna melt down and take the whole moon with it that [ __ ] is on this place my plot is so stupid here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna have a character comment on it arbitrary ticking clock is arbitrary you know when aliens did it the reason was that because the [ __ ] battle happened in the cooling tower like they explained that it silent and they I got a rude today I [ __ ] with Madoc drew the de santé bodies one of ours Sergeant William black image what you thinking sir thinking about sergeant bless kovitch is formally I know you should see what Bethesda to do his grandson we have a situation okay I'm gonna explain why this four second clip is so important to understanding this whole movie and why when you're watching it you're sitting there and you're going what but why that feeling is normal see when they found this woman the survivor who runs out in front of guys with guns instead of doing really anything else but that cuz they might be a little trigger-happy they killed some zombies already I left that out it's not important there's demons in this movie later I promise anyway I'm gonna slow this down they're talking until this lady screams because she sees a zombie behind this doctor and then the captain he's right here because you see him looking here in the same direction as the crying woman who sees the zombie coming but when the crying woman screams he turns to her like he was facing the same direction and saw nothing while pointing a flashlight in that direction and so reality is starting to break down we're about to enter act 2 of this movie which takes place in this power plant this one hallway they keep relighting and using again and again see these areas are copied and pasted whole hallways rooms so it gets a little confusing so reusing sets is fairly common especially with a budget but when you light everything up like this it's really really obvious the movie seems to imply they're in different places but when the sets have no personality and you just move the camera around and put a dead zombie in one of them you know when you're effects don't look that good you got to cover everything in darkness exhibit a my shitty set it's messy and confusing and edited badly but unlike the other doom movie you see it look guys it's just like the game Joan uses a chainsaw she shoots an explosive barrel this guy has a machine gun that sounds like it has a spinning barrel but absolutely does not have one of those and he dies because it has to wind up and he's they're all true nightmare [ __ ] special mention goes to Winslow the Aussie who says this chainsaw seeing is the best thing in the movie this is pure uncut Tomb right here look at the savagery the expression on her face that works it's such a shot reverse shot it's not a zombie getting hit with bullets and falling down there's weight to it you feel like the action on screen is the thing that's happening to characters Joan herre is getting all bloody and dirty doom the game was originally supposed to be an aliens game but they weren't gonna get Foxx on board so they changed it to be more aliens meets Evil Dead and this right here is the best representation in this movie of that premise after most of the red shirts getting and the captain who got two shots off with a shotgun before he got eaten by a crowd of zombies who are eating him because that's what they do he was two hours from retirement so the Marines and the survivors they found including crying lady religious man and dr. Petrova who tells them about how these teleporters they found can instantly send people wherever possibly to other planets that humanity can colonize there's no reason to think that they were in any way evil I mean they have these runes on them that look like these these Sumerian do you know what it says I'm good I'm not that good Daisy yes lieutenant are how can I help you can you identify and translate 87% share characteristics so the AI could translate it but nobody if the Phobos base could work out these ominous symbols on the teleporter said and if they did they just blew it off but Ruger is a [ __ ] fraud who didn't invent teleporters he just hooked him up and got them working and he thinks he's hot [ __ ] so everybody goes back to the ship but the pilot is dead because there's demons in this movie now and when I say demons I mean demon because it's one suit that's very shiny and kind of rubbery looking so that's clearly a nod Doom 3 according to the director there were four demon suits but it's really hard to tell because of the way this movie is edited you know badly I got to give them credit for actually you know making suits I mean James Cameron had six for aliens so normally when you're making a shootie bang bang movie it helps for bullets to have some kind of predictable effect like they work or they don't work or else how does the audience know if any of the characters are in any kind of danger we'll see bullets and doom annihilation killed demons sometimes it's actually really hard to do a video on this movie because of how bad the editing is and every single fight with a demon is like this gun sometimes work and sometimes they don't it really depends on whether they need to throw a character around or have the demon try to suck out their soul or something which is another thing that doesn't like happen or is even remotely explained like how is that how the zombies happened anyway they're all chilling out around this table and Jones like we got to wait for a rescue team let me don't report back I'll send a rescue party we'll secure the ship anything tries to get him you take out yeah they said but then the movie remembers that it set up a ticking clock like eight hours ago and that this character still exists guess it's time to get the power back on the true gur he wants to send everyone through the portal cuz he's clearly not evil these gates are the greatest discovery in the history of mankind and they will not be sacrificed I will not allow it you're gonna diagnose that reactors problems with your [ __ ] phone get real your lieutenants Joan d'Arc you're the one that set Rudolph Martin free he's one of the most dangerous terrorists in the wall we're an hour and 12 minutes into this movie and it's decided that we've got to let patru Gore explain why everybody hates Jones not exactly how it happened she's gonna tell us how it happened she's gonna give us some context so that we don't have just assumed that she disobeyed in order to let a terrorist go free you disobeyed a direct order and my base your punishment okay so she disobeyed an order and the terrorists got away what was the order well did you make a mistake every all make mistakes I said he's asking questions I want answers too I've it Winslow you said lieutenant doc was incompetent she'd be arrested and dishonorably discharged I'm never gonna find out how all this went down am i and your captain savage he asked if lieutenant doc was guilty of treason it makes this bit of Betruger trying to turn the Marines against Joan not against each other just against Joan which is where they started the movie but she's won some of their trust back like from Winslow Winslow hated her but they had a moment yep that's like the only character development that actually happens in this entire movie and now they're trying to undo it so ether spawn tech cipher John Carmack once said that a story in a game is like a story in a for now it's expected to be there but it's not important except in a porno you hope the [ __ ] is good otherwise watching people awkwardly grind against each other while he can't even get semi-hard because this pizza guy just said that he took his pizza out of his microwave and it would be stupid if he said microwaves but instead it's stupid in a way that raises more questions even if you have a low budget there's still stuff that has to go into the movie to make it work like if nobody gives a [ __ ] about your characters and they're only in the movie to get killed by demons you're making a slasher movie but that's not what this movie wants to do the movie wants you to care about certain characters but two hours from retirement guy what's-his-name and y'all captain Savage that guy didn't have a name besides captain until after he's dead and his name is stupid and the first time you hear it it's during a scene where it's supposed to be serious the movie wants us to care about Joan's dead mom and about her struggle to forgive herself for her mistakes in order to fight the enemy you got to stop fighting yourself John but none of this is paid off it's like they wrote a script and chopped it in half right down the middle who's stationed here but my father and now my whole team's dead listen movie I'm trying to meet you halfway here but then you do a TR like that and now my whole team's dead and you can kind of see what they were going for but only because you've seen other better movies is her redemption saving the world because she doesn't do that in fact at the end they tranq her and it's implied through the portal open so she's gonna die unless maybe she hides under those stairs I never mentioned this in the Dhoom 3 video which was a mistake but the word Betruger translates to fraudster in German so you know if you're German and watching this is super obvious he's gonna turn on them but still less obvious than a Dhoom 3 and he does he stabs crying lady and locks everyone in the reactor room with a couple of demons everybody but Joan and Bennett die and crying lady gives him the yellow key card it unlocks a secret floor where the lab is Bennett has one too it may be hinted at that he has some special knowledge about this whole thing but he doesn't and that goes nowhere the big [ __ ] gun okay of course fires a green burst of plasma instead of bullets I bet it does you mean this is a ray gun hey I didn't know that guy wasn't an American until right now good job dude a ray gun what's funny our first day oh hey I remember this from like an hour ago what we dated for what six weeks ten years ago we had to take the stairs all the way because you were afraid of elevators so the BFG 9000 is more like the BFG 10,000 from quake three I think it's underwhelming but what are you gonna do John walks into this room and doesn't immediately kill the true girl I don't know why you can't kill what's already dead and also rossabi ex-boyfriend is hiding somewhere in this well-lit room waiting to pop out this movie couldn't even afford monster closets I think he was hiding under the stairs but Ruger tosses Jonah into Hell which is a lot better than I expected it to be it's not great but considering the budget it should have been worse and there's an army of demons that Licata like tomb 2016's amps which kind of look like dooms imps they don't even look bad and then this fireface demon shows up to make a speech in another language where he addresses joan directly as if she understands a language that's 87% Sumerian and 13% never heard before by humans she finds strength from cancer mom and in the movies worst at it she picks up the BFG joan rides an explosion out and oh yeah you guys already know how the movie ends does it burn any of you guys that Sonic the Hedgehog got a better movie than doom hey kids this is usually where I run funny gameplay clips or whatever next to the credits but since this is about a movie I don't have those but I do have some fresh fall at 76 footage which I've actually been playing it's not the complete dumpster fire it was when Bethesda shoved the thing out the door a year too early don't get me wrong it's still janky and I feel slightly guilty even playing the thing I don't want to go with the it's fun with friends argument but I also don't want to continue to say that it's a steaming pile of [ __ ] anymore I don't think it steams the AI is still kind of a disaster the economy is a joke and should be avoided whenever possible and it's actually pretty humiliating that any time I seem to be exploring an area that the game Dunois me and yet it spawns an AI invulnerable level 62 ghoul that two hits me when everything else in the area is like 30 levels below that it's like trying to avoid the ski free monster but I feel like it would be unfair to continue to judge the game by footage of it I took a year ago it's still really greasy to push out a broken game Bethesda I look forward to the next time you do it [Music]

Channel: Civvie 11

Views: 580,599

Keywords: civvie11, civvie, civvie's dungeon, doom movie, doom, review, critique, entertainment

Id: HW0seSJ5TfY

Length: 21min 50sec (1310 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 12 2020

Reddit Comments

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Ulta nightmare

[u/Gas_Furries]

what does all fish no barrel mean, i cant tell if its bad or good