Half in the Bag Episode 21: Jack and Jill (1 of 2)

half in the bag why the [ __ ] are you watching this somebody there another day another dollar time to get back to work where have you been for four weeks my VC I gonna fix itself well I still can't watch my copy of Russian Terminator German you're what we what you're supposed to be here to fix my VCR I'm paying you $75 an hour god no books to do what to fix my VCR you've been doing it for for six months oh [ __ ] yeah yeah we've been working on that James actually outside getting some extra parts that we ordered from the he's getting some extra parts in the car couldn't do much work without those parts ah good you brought the parts those are the parts you're going to fix my VCR with beer steins mmm your start what you still things are vexing the VCR oh you're gonna have to talk up I can't hear you when you whisper how about a toast sure to Adam Sandler's career may he continue to make more films Cheers that's bad luck right yes I hope so in every family there's one person who drive you a little crazy I got a pic Jill up at four in the morning she comes once a year and she's leaving on Sunday but during the holidays jack no fighting this year there's no escaping it when it's your sister how are we doing your twin sister hello and welcome to half in the bag today we're going to talk about the Adam Sandler film Jack and Jill we know it's been out for a while now and you've probably forgotten about it but here we are and we're going to talk about it Jack and Jill is theoretically a comedy starring Adam Sandler as both Jack and his obnoxious sister Jill who get into all sorts of [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] whatever then someone farts how did you memorize what the the tagline on the poster so accurately so we did not want to watch this film at all a universally rejected and critically panned film yes yes although it did get a 4% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes mm-hmm that's interesting because um CNN just released a recent study it was a scientific study where they they determined that 4% of film critics are [ __ ] oh really yeah that um uh there are special needs people reviewing films are you coming Bob huh no no you're getting fatter and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more faith okay we almost felt obligated to see it after that yeah we gonna have to know it all came at an interesting time because we had just prior to that been making fun of the zookeeper yes as being attic movie and now the zookeeper looks like [ __ ] Citizen Kane Jack and Jill looks like a legitimate fake trail yeah and I think a lot of people were like this is this a joke because Adam Sandler's previous film funny people he's sort of plain an Adam Sandler type character in that and there are all these fake trailers for similar types of movies just lowest common denominator awful comedies you're the one that has to wizard to make you young again I didn't mean this young and this looks Jack and Joel trailer looks like it could have been one of those fake trailers yeah but it was real thought we should explain though that this review will be a little bit more in-depth than your regular just kind of ripping on Jack and Jill review because after we watch the film we discovered that it was much more than just a bad film so now before you shut this off and go I know the movies bad I'm not gonna see it great you will learn some information about the the the sinister underbelly of what Adam Sandler is doing and and how you're all being manipulated by this epic con man conman is in quotes so let's talk about Adam Sandler I despise Adam Sandler actually you know what I can't even say that I despise him because I haven't seen one of his movies I've seen him on SNL a lot yeah I haven't really liked most the stuff he's done on SNL the the weird thing is is like when you look back at that era Phil Hartman Chris Farley all those guys I could always think of like a character that they do and I'm just drawn to or I remember fondly um but with Adam Sandler I really can't well he had he was a poor man he was canteen boy all his characters seemed to be something man or something boy and it almost felt like a parody of reoccurring characters on sir Night Live as opposed to trying to be a recurring character yeah I don't know if he's clever enough but that was what he was actually intending to do but that's how it came across you might be looking into that a little too high probably put more thought into it and then Adam Sandler has in his entire career yeah so Adam Sandler every time I think of him I think of someone who's shouting ah what are you doing I think I saw the first 10 minutes of the movie where he plays a [ __ ] person mm that's everyone but my point is I really don't like Adam Sandler at all I just don't get his humor style but whenever I talk with people there's always that that that but it's like they say I don't like Adam Sandler I say well his new movies are bad but the waterboy and Billy Madison are good everyone goes back to his first three or four movies yeah everyone says that every person on the planet goes Billy Madison is good yeah and I did try to watch a little bit I just I I liked Billy Madison a lot I saw it when it first came out on video so early high school probably um if I watched it for the first time today I probably wouldn't care much for it I don't think I would hate it like some of his later movies but there's something sort of creative and weird going on in that movie um it was before he got horribly lazy which is what all of his movies are now so in true Starkie nitpicking [ __ ] fashion we've devised to separate lists before seeing this movie yeah we wanted to find a way to keep ourselves invested in the movie in some way or we didn't just have to sit there and watch it well Jay has seen a lot of Adam Sandler comedies yeah knows what they're all about I have not seen one the only Adam Sandler film I've seen is punch-drunk love which of course is not an Advent not an Adam Sandler movie um and it's made by a real filmmaker yeah yeah and my list as the the Adam Sandler expert between the two of us is comprised more of what a shameful title I know I know so my list is comprised more of things that are reoccurring in his movies not just from movie to movie but reoccurring elements in the movies themselves based on my experience and seen previous films that he's done so this kept me busy for most of the movie I would say 80% of the movie I was I was tallying my results how many times certain things happened oh my god and writing down what those elements were so I have a list here of about 12 things and I'm going to read them to you now what I expected to see from this movie general Horesh product placements product placement for fast food or restaurant chain art jokes dick crotch related humor does not include genital injury oh that's very specific genital injury Oh someone falling down cameos by Sandler's failed SNL friends okay cameos by sports figures cameos by non SNL celebrities / and on sports figures animal cruelty jokes at the expense of physical abnormality or ethnicity those can maybe be separated into two categories but it's basically just jokes at the expense of people that are different mmm so I just put them together racists and [ __ ] jokes yes exactly and then finally scenes of forced sentimentality to trick the audience into thinking the movie has a heart so this this kept me busy keeping track of these things throughout I mean I noticed you didn't have a category for like like sex jokes or dick jokes or there you know perverted humor no no yeah Adam Sandler films usually more cleaner a little bit they're more just about people falling down and getting kicked in the dick not not anything sexual Union so but speaking of that I was horribly wrong and only one thing on my list here look at look at the results for genital injury oh it's a big fat goose egg Wow I was shocked I was shocked but he more than made up for it in every other category sure sure this was actually more of each elements than I could have possibly imagined so like Jay I also made a list but since I haven't seen an Adam Sandler film before my list primarily consisted of scenes that I expected would happen in a comedy film like this based on the trailer and based on what I knew about the premise and kind of general comedy movie cliches yeah I had 17 I got 6 out of 17 right for uh for a grade of a plus y the plus oh it's because I grated my own paper it should be pointed out that the things on your list here as far as like plot points and situations aren't horribly complex or complicate they're pretty standard they're very very standard like like if you're aiming for mediocre this is the stuff you put in it yeah and it didn't even rise to that no no in fact I was shocked at how how little of things happened in this movie yes and how how they disregarded lots of the main characters and no one had any kind of thing yeah to do yeah in the film it was kind of shocking but anyway that's that we'll get into these in detail during the course of our review I'm just going to file them in the garbage I couldn't lift together things I want to do before I leave studio tour beach horseback riding oh my god I could stay out through Hanukkah so the first thing I expected was a home movie footage or some sort of flashback to them as kids yeah and we were wondering whether or not they would use an actual little girl or a little boy in drag and we both agreed that they wouldn't use a little boy in drag because it would be too weird and creepy but they use the little boy in drag yes but actually before that the film actually opens with this kind of documentary style footage of actual real-life twins cutting from one twin to the other as they're telling stories about their twinness their relationships and growing up and all that stuff yeah and it just starts yeah there's no there's no music there's no credits just happy gilmore the the logo and then it's and then this goes on for like five minutes and I'm like oh I didn't expect that yeah so I didn't know if they're trying to pad the running time or what but later on towards the end we find out what the real purpose of it was yes which we'll get into later watching the trailer they show Adam Sandler at work what's this about a twin Oh Jackie is a twin sister identical or fraternal nocturnal like a bat apparently he's a big guy at work so I think of course Jill's going to show up at work unannounced and embarrass him it's me it's Jill I'm here it was yeah well then they show his co-workers in the trailer too and they're like oh I didn't know you had a sister so I'm like for sure she's gonna show up at work and do something embarrassing he's gonna be having a big meeting he's going to be pointing at a had an easel with a with a graph on it and then she's gonna be going through the glass and come into the meeting room this is my sister and there's a that's something that something would happen in a typical comedy but never shows up at work know why it would have been too hard to film it would require choreographing the two Adam Sandler's and the split screen or green-screen or I really do it so they just didn't do that so then I was wrong on that two of my other points were that the plot was going to revolve around Adam Sandler having to get the the big account you know some sort of really big deal that would that would make or break the company everyone would get fired or he would lose his job he was his big bonus he couldn't build the family swimming pool that he had promised all our mr. griswold yes and something like that and that Jill would sort of ruin and early on big meeting with the big client somehow a lunch date let's do lunch he talks and she shows up oh hi oh hi it's me you ruined the meeting with the big client how am I ever gonna make this up I'm this close to losing the account that none other have none of that happens what did they do instead of that nothing oh yes and that's one of that's one of the most interesting points in the film you see that um Al Pacino's in the movie accountable mr. mr. Pacino why they don't allude to the fact that Al Pacino's involved with Adam Sandler's work they just kind of say Al Pacino wants to date the sister you know all you want to do is play twister with the assistant yeah it comes to crossing the trailer at like just a random okay I joke so I really wasn't expecting Al Pacino to be the central plot of the whole movie which he ends up being yes Al Pacino account is the big account so it's kind of right there yes oh I mentioned Adam Sandler I didn't know what he was in the trailer I thought he was just obviously he's successful but conveniently he's an ad executive yes yes that's that's where my my list shocked me with the general horrors product placement 13 counts of product placement and two counts of product placement for fast food or restaurant chain they want to get Al Pacino and a Dunkin Donuts commercial Dunkin Donuts a Dunkin Donuts Dunkin Donuts Oh Dunkin Donuts is in the movie Dunkin Donuts plays a prominent role in the film so so the whole story literally is Adam Sandler wants to get Al Pacino in a Dunkin Donuts commercial that is the whole movie that's fine but the problem with that whole thing is that there are no stakes yeah involved in that there's no like we need to get this account we need to shoot this Dunkin donut commercial or else our advertising firm collapsing yeah the company will go under or Adam Sandler will get fired yes there's there's nothing it's just like we need to get out Pacino yes and that's or it's like making a threat to someone I'm gonna I'm gonna do this or what you're gonna kill me or what you're gonna kill my family I'm just gonna do this okay you know what to do please Twista would you steal food and it's a threat without a consequence yeah in a film you can't have have a plot without stakes you can't have nothing that's at stake kind of you have no consequence to something that happens it's what it's what gets the audience involved in what they're watching and even even in a big broad dumb comedy like I didn't see a comedy there's only something and so the key word here is lazy so watching the trailer I saw Katie Holmes was in it and I had a couple things that Katie Holmes could do in the movie she does nothing in the film literally nothing why don't these guys know how to jump but why did you teach him who were the devil Dutch kings our neighborhood you guys can't do a single wingding if you'll see on the trailer there's a there's a little girl and a little Indian boy are there kids so I concocted this whole plotline about Katie Holmes possibly not able to have kids or that they were working at it unsuccessfully and that's why they had adopted these two kids and then so at the end of the film I thought everything would come full circle Katie Holmes would get pregnant around Christmastime or Hanukkah time or whatever and she would get pregnant and and Jill still would be there and they'd all be in the hospital and they would do the ultrasound and then on the screen the picture would come up and the doctor would of course be played by SNL actor so-and-so or maybe a sports figure maybe or candy yep or yeah like it's Terry Bradshaw which opens isn't it funny that Terry Bradshaw's the doctor but anyways they would be doing the ultrasound and and then the image would come up and they'd go there and they would cut to Jill and she would go it's twins and then they would show Adam saying then you go make some sort of comical face of course maybe lead in for a sequel or to tie everything in a nice comedy ball yeah Katie Holmes does nothing the whole film so we all know Katie Holmes is married to Tom Cruise who is a weirdo cultists Scientologist so the Church of Scientology let's get into that oh sure uh it's it's nothing but a [ __ ] weird religious cult that tries to siphon money off of its members oh um it is they're very litigious they're very militant yeah and they're [ __ ] nuts mm-hmm um they believe in spaceships and reincarnation and and and they also believe that if you give them large amounts of money you will get aboard the spaceship to xenon yes the planet of the of the alien gods so Katie Holmes whose career has nosedived since she married Tom Cruise appears in this movie yeah um we don't see much of Katie Holmes anymore except for in the tabloids right um so we were wondering why she's in this movie um we think it might be a movie that she's in because Tom Cruise gave the stamp of approval yeah yeah she doesn't do anything in this movie to like show case your acting ability it's not like a breakout role or something memorable right but maybe maybe Tom Cruise knows that she's in an Adam Sandler film she'll get a giant paycheck mm-hmm without having to do anything so I thought Katie Holmes character might have some depth maybe give her some sort of interest in classic literature in Jane Austen books or something like that chair uh so I thought maybe they would have liked this uh this book club thing with all the ladies in the neighborhood of the rich old white women and then Jill why don't you come sit in on our book club and then Jill would come in and they would stay what I'll be talking like yes I believe that the the this novel really says this and this and since this metaphor as a nibble and then Jill ago well I just got done reading Twilight that didn't happen instead nothing happened one of my mentions in the comedy department was that Jill would have a bathroom incident involving diarrhea or farts diarrhea or farther so III have twelve fart jokes and conveniently they tie in with one of my other categories which is jokes at the expense of physical abnormality or ethnicity boom because the set up is Jill eats Mexican food for the first time and it makes her poop but it is set up that she goes to some sort of outdoor party um with the the family's Mexican gardener wait the gardener was a Mexican yeah yeah what is this a science fiction film seriously honey can't you try a little harder she's your sister so what we should mention is that Jack and Jill is the most racist film since the birth of a nation Adam Sandler manages to create the most passively racist scene in in film history yes but there's a but they're intimate there's a big but because his gardener is of course a Mexican and the gardener makes tons and tons of horrifyingly racist jokes lazy racist you're lately raised yeah like just got over the border and he's like I just not gonna cross the border and everyone's like you didn't just say that did you guys I'm just kidding and then he goes she goes to the picnic with him and he's like this is my son Juan this is my other son Juan this is my daughter Juanita and like he names everyone wanna choose well anyone's named Juan and he goes I'm just kidding that son they play soccer the there's an elderly grandmother character in the sequence who also falls into my physical abnormality category because she's missing all of her teeth and she has big weird eyes and and that also falls into my someone falling down category she she gets knocked over twice in the sequence and I guess it's supposed to be hilarious cuz it's an old lady but they they revived her going back to the the ethnicity jokes they revived her with with hot peppers and that's the joke later she eats them as well mmm they revive her again after she gets hit in the face by the stick during the pinata sequence yes yeah so yeah they play pinata they eat Mexican food they play soccer I'm surprised they they were in picking vegetables too or washing bedsheets I mean seriously and then and then he starts making all these jokes he makes one joke after the other for no reason it's not like like that scene where there's this person that doesn't understand Mexican culture coming in and that's why he's making the jokes at the person like kind of to [ __ ] around with them to play with his mind but she comes in just with an open heart and an open mind like I'm gonna come to your party yeah and and so there's no reason for him to do that so it's just Adam Sandler having cheap laughs at the expense of Mexican people and at the same time getting away with it because it's a Mexican person telling the joke yeah and they're very juvenile jokes they're like playground humor I mean I'm a I'm a I'm a racist and I find it offensive so I was not expecting Jill to go to a racist Mexican party which kind of falls into several of the other comedy things I was expecting to see in this film and didn't um I really expected to see Jill in a bathing suit yes perhaps even a song or a string bikini with a fat suit you know for visual yucks yeah but that would require Adam Sandler to put on some sort of prosthetic appliance or makeup stuff and that's just too much work well yeah you're right uh just throwing a wig on his head and smearing lipstick on quickly is is all you need well even that's much work mm yeah and then you know there's a couple of things I did get right um big bra big panties joke I had on my list it happened that's the joke is that she has big panties and she holds them up and puts them on even though she's not that horribly obese no no she's a beast enough to break all four of a horse's legs a pony's legs they probably had to shoot that pony in jail is a visual effect but if in the reality the movie if that happened oh I should have shown that sequence right after that word all the little kids are crying and the handler comes out and just shoots the pony in the face that would have been great oh my god there's another scene in the film to which we should discuss a little before we continue on with the plot is the whole man and drag humor cheer sure and and how most movies where guys dress up like women the humor comes from them adjusting to being a woman too kind of like forgetting like that they have to sit down when they pee too like discussing things with other women they're playing a role or or trying on the bra and putting on the wig and and and not being able to walk in high heel left yes that's a classic yeah or there's a scene in jacket Jill when they're on the cruise ship and they're in the exercise room there's these two big bodybuilder guys and they're huge and they're lifting weights and then Jill comes over oh I'm gonna lift weights now and then she starts lifting weights like the same weights they're lifting with ease and she's talking with Katie Holmes about something and she goes can you throw a couple more weights on there and they do in their way and then she's lifting them problem with that scene problem with that joke is that the joke isn't that never established that Jill is superhumanly strong for some reason and the the the logic of the movie is not that Jill is a guy in drag it's funny when there's a guy in drag and everyone thinks it's a woman and he punches the other guy out never goes oh that girl is strong yeah but the audience knows that it's really a man and that's why it's funny so it's like they wanted that scene but the logic didn't allow for that scene because bill is supposed to be a woman so they just did it anyways yeah yeah and and and it's like you don't know what you're doing there actually is one joke in this movie that works well one that's actually a crafted joke there there is literally one crafted joke in this movie that has a set up and a payoff yeah should we tell them what it is uh sure are you concerned about spoilers I guess no one has seen this movie well I would think anyone that is interested in seeing this movie I hope we spoil it what are you let me let's explain the difference then okay because this will make it real clear okay there's a scene in the film Jack decides to dress up like Jill for multitude of reason he goes into the bathroom on the cruise ship and there's a gut the bathroom attendant guy this old guy you know the doorman typing he's like hello sir he's like I you know runs into the stall changes into the woman and comes out and then the bathroom attendant looks at him and goes and grabs his boobs and adjusts them because he noticed one was hanging in am sir like thanks scene ends many scenes later that same bathroom attendant walks out of the bathroom and runs into Jill who is really a woman sees Jill and and goes then grabs Jill's boobs and adjust them she's a punches them yeah point is it's a joke it has a setup and a payoff yes it's set up and explained and it's paid off and you understand what happens and there are no jokes in the movie like that it's either someone falls down someone farts someone kicks someone at the end David Spade's and drag and he decides to grab Katie Holmes and throw around the floor and that's yeah it's it's like vile it's just violence it's it's not yes stupid pointless violence farting falling down things like that well speaking of the film and laziness yeah the the doubling effect of Jack and Jill was was the worst since I seen since the 80s yeah well it seems like that should be one of the draws of this movie like come see Adam Sandler play these two characters it's kind of like the Eddie Murphy in the Nutty Professor movies where it's like that's all people talked about in those movies was the way he played off himself and interacting with himself and that was a selling point of the movie here that it's just yeah awkward split screens and or green-screen well they're very infrequently together and they don't really play off each other yeah and like yeah like you said that should have been a selling point but it's not they're often in different scenes together and it's just Adam Sandler and a wig yeah it's just it's just very very lazy continued in part 2

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,776,006

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, half in the bag, plinkett, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, jack and jill, adam sandler, happy madison, scam

Id: sXNsT7-Lwsk

Length: 28min 52sec (1732 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 26 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/SurfTaco]

this JUST in!

[u/jupiterkansas]

These two guys have given more of their brainpower to Adam Sandler than all the people that watch Adam Sandler movies gave put together.

[u/agrajagthemighty]

You mean "Adam Sandler's career"?