Half in the Bag: Unfriended and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

half in the bag hey don't you got anything better to do oh no we're about to hit the Chicago Bears tower oh it looks like we didn't hey J let's talk about two new movies hello and welcome to half in the bag I'm Jay and I'm Paul blurt and we just saw two horror movies unfriended is a new Skype and Facebook themed horror movie not to be confused with the recent Twitter themed horror movie it follows in unfriended five or six teens all meet on skype to be horrible people on the anniversary of their friend's suicide a suicide they caused by cyberbullying her after they posted a video of her [ __ ] herself while drunk come on people we've all been there eventually through computer hijinks every character dies no spoilers Mike what did you think of unfriended what well J I can honestly say that unfriended was the very best horror film set on Facebook and Skype that I've ever seen I I would have to agree with that yeah it was better than I thought it was it was complete [ __ ] and it was better I wouldn't say complete [ __ ] what I would say is I really wanted to see this movie because the trailer was a comedic masterpiece I laughed so loud the first time I saw the trailer for it it was like perfect like fat guys hand in the blender it's the type of dumb gimmicky horror movie where it's like this is gonna be dated in six months you know and everything about this this is gonna live on to be one of the classics yeah sure yeah but yeah I actually gotta give the movie quite a bit of credit the whole I mean it's obviously very gimmicky the whole premise is a gimmick it's a sort of a twist on found footage in a way but it all felt like usually when they do this type of stuff in movies it always feels really phony like this felt like the way it was bouncing back and forth between like Facebook and Skype and all those things like cuz it's all if anyone doesn't know the whole movie is on a laptop screen and the whole movie and it felt very natural and real as far as that element goes and the way it was sort of delivering exposition the you know YouTube videos and you know news websites and stuff like that so a different way of telling a story that I thought actually kind of works we're gonna call the story well that's the problem is that it is a horror movie and it's not scary at all in the least well okay I'm gonna give credit where credit's due definitely I I didn't I didn't absolutely hate this movie and anything goes complete [ __ ] but you're you're right it gets the technical stuff really really spot-on and it should because the whole movies on a [ __ ] computer they really needed to get that and what was impressive was that I'm assuming they spend 75 percent of their budget getting the licensing for Google YouTube and Facebook and a lot of movies don't bother with that they have their imitation like fake sites my favorite example that is from the classic film old man Walter Boden 65 hangs south after killing spree that included his wife and I'm assuming that that was a big push by their producers was that the smart this movies marketed towards teens we want it to feel real to them we want it to look exactly like their Facebook looks we want to look exactly like their Mac laptops look and all that if it doesn't it's not gonna play you know and that's true and and all that felt fine you know you could tell parts they're speeding up typing for the you know compressing time and I but like then the glitches were added for for scary effects here and there but really like overall really good representation of what a computer laptop looks like and that's what we've come to in movies today yeah well in and also it like as a storytelling device the way like a character will be typing a message to the main character it's her laptop starting to type a message and then like delete it and then type something different or it's like you can set it tell it's the way in the movie is expressing her like apprehension of divulging information like I thought that was interesting yeah unfortunately it's at the service of this really generic was basically a slasher movie I mean it all the tropes in there and the virginal teen and you know it turns it twists at the end and you know there's a fat guy character it kind of was playing on the cliches a little but really obvious who it was marketed for although the film was inexplicably rated R and there are teens in front of us in line who couldn't get in there like you have to have a parent yeah there's nothing in this to warrant in our rating this language and violence which I don't know if you wanted to not number a single f-word or a single oh there was swearing yeah there's right I remember any swearing they're calling each other like Oh sucking well that's yeah she said [ __ ] and a couple of but nothing that couldn't be trimmed or fixed yeah and they would play better to a young girl like a seventeen sixteen years no place for the senior citizen demographic one of the problems for me was the the logic and the it was like okay here the story is there's the main girl her friend her name is what's the name that said it Amalur abarnes floorpan i should remember this it doesn't matter it's on the screen a million times laura barnes and she's like a normal looking girl she seems like one of their friends it doesn't seem like she would be the typical victim of the cyber bully thing and it's not really that it's more like she passed out and pooped herself yes and then they post a video about it and it's like why did her friends do this to her yeah there's no real reason why and then they kind of allude to it very briefly they show a video YouTube video of her where she's like holding up pictures with words on them it's like [ __ ] all you guys and yeah so there's no almost zero backstory about why this Laura Barnes girl is is targeted by her friends to be such such a malicious thing other than the fact that our six five or six main characters are just really [ __ ] awful people yes I think that's it but Laura Barnes is also [ __ ] awful because she's she seems kind of nasty well she's getting her revenge by making them stick their hands on blenders right and so here comes Laura Barnes it's a year after her she shoots herself on the playground with a gun and she's gonna haunt them on skype and apparently she has unlimited powers unlimited powers to do anything with computers the scariest thing she can do is she can make the the reply button in Gmail or the forward button it just disappeared guys where's my forward button oh I am going to make your forward button disappear I'm going to make you not to be able to close up this tab whoa where's lon chaney when you need them where's Bela Lugosi you'll can't force quit your programs and it's like okay the real scary part is that their dead friend is haunting them the the Skype and Facebook [ __ ] is just a vehicle yeah but to me it wasn't scary that their dead friend was haunting them because it's just like I'm your dead friend I could do whatever I want yeah now if it were say a demonic entity impersonating their friend who realized we don't know maybe it was but then like at the end the the the ghost of Laura comes out and goes it's that's just someone impersonating me I'm really cypher give you guys I'm really a good goes but it was it was just all-around miserable there was no goodness yeah in the movie there's no heart it was just six miserable awful kids did something awful and miserable to a miserable awful girl and she turned into a Skype ghost and killed them yes they could have gone the easy route right they could have taken like the weird shy ugly fat girl whatever sorry cyberbullying you know victims whatever and she you know really homely I'll say I used the word homely a picked on all alone turns psycho from like abuse like a carry like it carry they could have set it up and then she kills herself and then the kids go in the computer and then she shows up instead it's like this this is almost zero backstory and and just all around kind of despicable is doing this this is more as account who would hack into a dead girl's account it's interesting though because this is this is a stark comparison to it follows which was technology less yeah and and except for the weirdo clamshell thing except for the time shell reader but much more effective well it's a yeah it's a prime example of why most of these found-footage movies just aren't very good they just feel like junk like like it follows really really well-crafted like there's craftsmanship and the the building of tension and making these scenes scary with the film making and something like unfriended it's just you know it's essentially a found footage movie just people screaming I was only scared at how slow the clock was moving when I was watching this film it's the only thing that scared me yeah 80 what is this 82 minutes it feels like twice that which can be said for both of our films today but they carried it for 82 minutes with just a computer screen I mean I don't know I guess that should give some kind of gold star right they get an A for effort they do get an A for effort so Jay would you recommend corn children of the corn six the Internet age what I don't know what is this movie are you even awake right now you're like falling asleep I talk that's fine what what does it movie called despicable me despicable characters was this an Adam Sandler film and I'm Sandler produces this I want to see happy madison's start to make horror movies with like the same they already do hey what was this movie called unfriended because they unfriended Laura Palmer and then she said I'm gonna get you I'm gonna get you I'm sending a [ __ ] that talks backwards after you sorry little person hashtag [ __ ] shaming it's not very good film for Facebook that's true that makes me scared a facebook because there might be a ghost on it they did have very early on in the credits I saw they out of things saying this is a work of fiction and doesn't represent any reality or whatever like that's usually at the very end of the credits but it was it got its own title screen because some girl named Laura Barnes is gonna get [ __ ] a cyber bullied to death well you're the one from the movie do you think they did any research to make sure there wasn't a Laura Barnes on Facebook and that's why they picked that name probably not so you're saying these filmmakers are irresponsible filmmakers so Mike would you recommend unfriended ah no they should have made a horror movie on myspace it'll be called ghost town scene that's pretty good that's pretty good it's pretty good Kevin James continues to astonish audiences in his new film paul blart mall blarp - and no it's not as comedic skills or his writing it's his ability to continue to be the most shameless embarrassing sellout who's ever lived in paul blart mall park - we learned that sony has their own Apple iWatch we also learned that the Wynn resort in Las Vegas has a great looking pool area nice restaurants a very helpful staff and a fantastic looking stage show called La Reve they also have a world-class art collection that no one seems to care much about that criminals can easily steal with cheap plastic gadgets from sharper image oh yeah and paul blart falls down a lot and it's 45 year old hairdresser daughter gets kidnapped by the guy from Star Trek first contact the film carries on in the Adam Sandler tradition of social class mocking homophobia racism and stupidity but in a much more PG manner Jay what did you think of Paul Baro Mara blarp blarp blarp what what is the opposite of art paul blart okay yeah art isn't in the name though which is unfortunate Paul bull arts bull arts if those three letters of the alphabet could kill themselves paul blart mall blah boob is terrible that goes without saying it wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen it has a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes and I think that's more because of indifference than anything oh okay someone wrote a script like just as to get the plot you know taken care of and then they were gonna go back and add jokes but no we went back and added jokes and so you have like the the bumbling fat guy idiot character that's a staple of comedy but when you have him in a movie where there are no jokes he's like the most depressing human being alive and it's just miserable to watch yeah there was only one joke that I left and at the end all the paul blart mall cops show up like the bad guy and there's like a an Indian stereotype who is stupid and falls asleep and his Indians so haha yeah and he runs he shows up and looks like he has a cape like he's gonna be a superhero now it just came from my haircuts yeah I left did you actually live one time in the film I came straight from a haircut I do wonder what the process is for coming up with these movies a Happy Madison productions office though like in Jack and Jill there's that whole sequence was it like a Carnival Cruise or what was it and it's just an ad like that whole section of the movie is just a commercial this is a whole movie that's a commercial for the Wynn resort and it makes me wonder like do people approach happy Madison like advertise our products advertised you know we'll we'll you know pay to promote our products and then they decide to make a movie based around that well this is the product placement come first I'll say this Steve Wynn is not hurting for money sure I think the production company approached him and I I want to say cuz I looked up I read up on this and he he was the first movie that he's allowed someone to come and film on so so I obviously it's like let's make the Wynn resort look nice there's a lot of beauty shots there's a lot of they even give them a gratuitous cameo themself yeah so I don't think I don't think that's the case but it did make it was like look at the wind resort isn't it great except for one negative scene there it was all positive except for when the craps dealer starts taking paul Blart shmoney oh the the the memorable scene where he plays craps and he loses and that's the scene I couldn't have predicted that that was shocking that had a comedic twist to it no but the craps dealer is like give me this give me this I'll put it here I'll put it here like mmm they don't do that yeah start taking them I'm telling you where to place your bets by the way the wind sucks I've been there before it sucks I lost five dollars on one of your [ __ ] sucky slot machines but paul Blart gets invited to the mall cop association whatever some secured he get convention yes yes out in Las Vegas and then he goes there and that therein lies a new Adam Sandler sub-genre a new Adam Sandler hallmark which is now what I'm going to call occupational shaming occupation shaming a hashtag occupation shaming um because paul Blart has a singular character a wacky bumbling mall cop that's okay pretty basic yeah that's acceptable sure but to say that all people that work in some sort of security that is not a police officer are all like big fat bumbling idiots that's true blitz is rather insulting they kept they showed pictures of like the legends of either mall security or bank security or whatever like lowly occupation yeah and they're all like well can we talk about Kevin James cuz this is the first movie I've seen with him what is the appeal to people that like Kevin James you got me cuz you can look at like like the bumbling fat guy you have like Chris Farley you know like he made some really bad movies but you can still see in those movies what people find funny about him I have no idea what anyone would find funny about Kevin James yeah he's sort of like the no pun intended the light version of the fat guy mmm like like Chris Farley there's a genuine skill comedic skill there there's how sure like like funny fat guy craft yes Kevin James is like the milky bland version of that yeah it's like you put someone's just some random person's dad in a movie like it's just a guy like there's nothing nothing to I mean he's not like he's not like awful but he said he's not a terrible actor but he's not funny at all no ever he doesn't even seem like he's trying to be funny please tell me Blart is taken care of yeah you mean taking out your crew one by one hmm that got real is there a scene when he is trying to fit too much luggage into the overhead compartment on a plane and it's just falling no that's weird that's really really weird that they didn't include a scene like that and then he sits down in the middle seat in between like like a stuffy old lady and some like likes to diga and he goes sorry I'm fat no he just goes oh he has to awkwardly carry luggage a little bit and they don't do anything comedic with that and just he has lots of luggage Oh remember the fence black lady isn't she funny someone kicked her in her big fat cut and they bounced off her because she's fat and fat people are impervious to harm yes that's that's true like I was hoping at some point that paul Blart would stick his hand in a blender but it never happened maybe Kevin James stuck both hands in a blender before he wrote the script cuz it's all [ __ ] up you get it that's a joke you fat [ __ ] so here's the question is Kevin James he's a part of the happy madison crowd seem worse and less interesting do you call him conspirator conspirators okay embezzler yeah conman Conchords yeah all those people are basically did you know they're making a sequel to jail dirt with David Spade I'm not [ __ ] surprised that's happening everybody go deuce Bigalow male gigolo three well that's that's my question is Kevin James the the most boring of these bad Adams my friends is he worse than Rob Schneider oh yeah Rob Schneider at least can do other characters Kevin James is just Kevin James although Adam Sandler guys at least like like cut their teeth in comedy or SNL yeah leading up to this I don't know where Kevin James came from other than fat woman's vagina like I really don't know like I knew he showed up on King of Queens and he was in a movie called hitch with Will Smith but that was sort of after he was successful on King of Queens he might have just been just some guy who was on a TV show I associate David Spade and Chris Kattan and all those guys with the Adam Sandler Money Train okay I can't say I blame them oh we're sure they're all doing voices in Hotel Transylvania they're all doing voices in this they all show up for one scene and get a ten million dollar paycheck we all know it's an embezzlement scam right but I can't blame them but Kevin James is like starring in these vehicles and and I don't know I hope this one tanks so hard I don't think it is oh no it is and well here's the thing too it's like the first paul blart blah blah was like six years ago that's a long time especially for a comedy sequel to come out like they have that much time pass and was the world clamoring for paul blart mall cop adventures like I don't think anybody made a fan reaction video for paul blart mall cop - no they did there were a lot of people looking forward to this but do ride no fans were not clamoring for paul blart mall cop 2 but mid-april was no have you ever seen a movie that seemed to be shot and executed so indifferently as Paul Martin will come to know like I don't think I have it yeah every like the writing the directing the acting everything feels like nobody cares or is even trying to make a comedy film when you have a scene right and you have like some kind of exposition that has to happen in it there like something funny should happen because he in the scene paul Blart was hiding behind stage and he there's crates that the evil super genius who's stealing a heart has down there as i go can i pop these crates open you know and we find out the smuggled artwork is in there whatever and there's a guy there and he's like okay but I'm gonna eat my lunch oh yeah so he takes out like a completely black rotten banana and starts eating the rotten banana and paul Blart Slyke oh that doesn't look good oh don't eat that and I always say this a lot that's the joke yeah and there was no appropriate setup or payoff no it's just a guy eating a rotten banana yeah and then stable is it it's just like it's like filler like like [ __ ] like that happens like but at least the part when paul Blart had to slide across the floor to lap up drips from a child's ice cream cone I'm sorry this really it was moderately to mildly set up to where paul Blart said he's hypoglycemic yes we need some sugar and he fell over well that I was confused at first because he's running to do something and then he just like passes out and I was like what happened I was like it is he narcoleptic did they set that up in the first movie that he's narcoleptic and I didn't know why he fell over but then they that you see the ice cream he starts lab there and was like that's already mentioned earlier they didn't mean sugar but the the execution of it was confusing to the point where I didn't know what was happening but again you're talking of the topic here is sloppiness no one cares that's the setup right and he goes under there and of course some of the drips on his face you know and then once it's Higgins tongue it looks like a dog and then it's just like okay then he just kind of gets up I'm like moves out of the scene yeah I was expecting like almost like sort of Popeye gag when Popeye Popeye was a very old cartoon from the 1920s anyway so I was expecting like a pop I think like some sort of like he gets up and you're awesome sort of animation or something sighting happens and lighting changes like ah i'm paul blart I got my sugar I'm ready to go and so just like get something walks out of the shot yes the guy was eating the gross banana and then he wasn't eating the gross banana anymore and then move on to another scene paul Blart is being chased by security guard man and then he runs out into the wind signature stage show oh yes which looks like a fantastic she really does just be a soul beyond that you know where you can get tickets to see that I'm sure you can go to win resort calm right yeah at the website it looks fantastic it looks amazing wait to see it I want to I want to go to their restaurant that looks new it looks like they have really great food there and good service you don't even have to pay you just run out of the scene but again nothing funny happened except for paul Blart grabbed onto a thing that raised him up in the air and then he knocked people over yeah it seemed to be that the joke was just that he was on the stage and that's the farthest they got they put on those angels he put on angel wings and went on the stage and it's funny that he's there it's funny that he's there that's the joke and I'm sure the cast and crew were laughing hysterically when he walked out on the set with the angel wings under checks come in so Mike would you recommend PAH blah blah blah blah blah blah blah r5 no no J would you recommend uh I think if you're if you're interested in visiting the Wynn resort this is a lovely commercial for it it's a very very fine commercial they got a casino they got a pool a wonderful restaurant and apparently you can have a big gang fight in the main hallway and no one's around oh sure a lot of people at the Wynn resort you know your casino looks dumpy and shitty their conventional space is pretty small your your crap stealers are aggressive and sucky and little kids drip ice cream cone drips everywhere and no one cleans it up yeah if paul blart wasn't there to lap off that ice cream you were just gone on the floor like what did what didn't what a dump yeah and apparently you could just walk from from one hotel suite to the other two cuz didn't that happen with the kids oh that's the thing to that kid was having a party at the hotel in a room that wasn't occupied they allow that to happen underage drinking in your hotel liked by your employees yep this movie paints a pretty nasty picture of the wind ya know think about it it's kind of trashy yeah and I would never stay there so Grill good job Steve Wayne I hope hope it was worth it I hope you're happy Madison cheque was worth it I mean your hotel is associated with paul blart mall cop too I mean I'm just saying you know might as well filmed at the [ __ ] Circus Circus because it's a joke your hotel is a [ __ ] joke and that show you have looks like shits

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,315,964

Keywords: redlettermedia, red, letter, media, red letter media, half in the bag, plinkett, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Film), adam sandler, unfriended, happy madison, Comedy (Film Genre), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

Id: FVwnOM1Dook

Length: 30min 54sec (1854 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 21 2015