Half in the Bag v Batman v Superman - episode 106

half in the bag did you know that Bruce Wayne is Batman Oh lightning-fast VCR repair this is Mike how can I help you no we can't help you with your Netflix I don't even know what that is oh go [ __ ] yourself Mike you shouldn't be yelling at the customers well we keep getting these calls about people who want to watch a movie about nets and even though there were so many beekeepers in Wisconsin Mike Netflix is a streaming service oh so it's about fishing nets I get it that makes a lot more sense Mike I think we need to face reality the VCR repair business is no longer viable people watch movies on their [ __ ] phones now oh god what are you doing well I think I'm watching the news ax Nider film hey speaking of loud obnoxious miserable tiresome worn-out and old we should really give mr. Plunkett a visit see if that cows still milk able mmm I think I know what you mean you want to squeeze on his old tits to see if any milk comes out so that we could sell it on the street corner hello hello mr. blinken hello you might who's that guy oh my god I don't know hey [ __ ] who are you oh hi I'm rich from lightning-fast VCR repair what you work for lightning-fast VCR repair yeah yeah Tim hired me after these these two guys these two homosexual men Mike and J I think they they went off in some kind of gay retreat in a mountaintop somewhere now that my friend is only partially true yeah well anyway seems like the second they left we started getting flooded with calls from all over town so everyone needed their VCRs repaired I've I've been so busy I can't keep up that's so okay here's how it's gonna go down I'm gonna shoot him in the back of the head with the shotgun you shoot him repeatedly in the testicles with your pistol wait we might be able to use this to our advantage now this guy looks pretty dumb we might be able to use him think I know where you're going with this J yeah we can milk his tits so uh I was named rich rich how's the repair going what the headphones stupid [ __ ] what I said how's the repair going Oh things are going pretty good I was I was just about to take a break to watch the new sex Schneider film I was at the movie or a cop teamed up with an orc no no I was gonna see the Batman vs Superman dawn of what dawn of AIDS no no the titles dawn of justice why don't we all go see the film together yeah we'd love to be best friends yeah we like you oh you guys are Mike and Jay well I guess it's a good thing you guys are bad cuz I could really use some help fixing all of these VCRs or you could do all the work while we skim money off the top and take advantage of your hard work ethic and milk your tits man milk goes for a lot these days on the Chinese black market it's a little side gig I want to get into this [ __ ] looks like he's filled with bad milk is any of that true probably you got to be the one to tell him to take his pants off though why would he has I take his pants off to milk his tits I mean his shirt hey let's go watch the movie sounds great yeah well that sucked yep yep yep yep yep yep yeah yep yeah I thought was gonna be yep exactly what I thought it was gonna be yep yep yep how about that yep yep yep yeah yeah no God yeah yeah yep yeah yeah yep oh whoa yeah yeah yep yeah yep owes a movie yeah yup yeah yeah what that's how it starts the fever array of turns good men cruel it's finally time it's finally here years of anticipating the most dark loud explosive and longest movie ever and now everyone can finally see it you probably think I'm talking about miracles from heaven but no I'm talking about Batman V Superman dawn of Justice [ __ ] Zack Snyder brings us another movie yes punching monsters overacting bad acting explosions a confusing plot but who cares you fill your face with popcorn you dumb fat cows eat the slop before the slaughter you [ __ ] pigs Batman V Superman as ex nighter calls it is film sir technically sir ma'am what would you think what happened I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not sure why I'm not entirely sure what happened what do you did was it better or worse than Man of Steel better see I'm leaning towards better but I'm wondering if that's just because I went into this one knowing what to anticipate my Anna Steel Man of Steel was shocking like I could not believe what I was seeing this I was prepared for it and the moment when Batman rips a sink off of a public bathroom wall and beats 2 grand over the head with it is probably the funniest thing I will see all year so it's got that going for it I think of the movie I actually like I like the solo Batman stuff some of it this is probably my favorite live-action portrayal of that man he does detective he things he's not he's not Christian bill he's not an [ __ ] yeah he's an [ __ ] but he's a proper Batman [ __ ] was kind of quiet reserved thinking thoughtful until he starts killing people with Noah endlessly which is in Batman's character definitely that's that's this whole thing right is that he just violently murders everyone indiscriminately I can't blame that on Ben Affleck though that's the screw no Ben Affleck's good I like Ben Affleck as Batman I think is what I'm saying Batman's the the most interesting superhero in a way because he's the most human you know he's the most like us and he can be kind of broken and which is really fascinating to be coupled with all this heroic stuff Ben Affleck as Batman was most definitely the best part of the film I like I like a later year Batman who's kind of like whatever and the detective is Rob the Dark Knight no the Dark Knight Returns which is of course the the biggest inspiration for this version of Batman and I think that book is genius but the story itself is not that story the story itself is a story that we came up with just you know on our own the best part was the ten minutes for Batman fights Superman no that was the the schlocky apart that's what I enjoyed the best that's what I okay there I was so [ __ ] dour like I mean I'm that's we should try and avoid just repeating everything we said with Man of Steel which is hard to do because this is very much like Man of Steel in that the first half is boring depressing almost incoherent there's no narrative thrusts it's just sort of scenes happening and it's like close up close up close up close up in another location so I guess we're in a new scene there's no establishing shots throughout the entire [ __ ] movie it's just like all these close-ups yeah and there's no like you could replace put the scenes in any order and it wouldn't make much of a difference that's true well I think I agree with you when you said you were more prepared this time because Man of Steel like I had a physical headache like yeah and I'm not just speaking like it was a headache the movie I'd literally my head was pounding and I had to go like this at a certain point and close off my senses because I felt like I was being assaulted yes this I whether or not I was just more prepared for it but didn't seem as excessive as I was expecting so it was less loud and stupid then I was hoping for but it was more confusing the last 25 minutes is pure confusing though yeah confusing destruction confusing destruction pointless stupid yeah yeah and dream sequences Oh God in there for what seems like to be putting the trailer only yeah Batman there's a stream sequence famines were in like a duster like a like a trenchcoat and he's in the desert and then a ghost Robin is that supposed to be Robin who's the [ __ ] ghost that tells him oh yeah ghost comes out of his computers a ghost comes out of his computer it's like Lois is the key to all of this oh she's a funnier character than we've had before but if we don't get her key I'll tell you what I'm pretty sure that is okay and it's weird that it was a dream sequence because if it was it a dream sweet cuts sequence it would have been clever aha I think that's the flash the flesh has time travel powers because he can run faster than the speed of light okay I mean I dream travel pouch not dream travel powers if that wasn't a dream sequence that would have been like a fairly clever hint for like movies to come like flash is coming in for a future movie to warn Bruce Wayne about something but he just it was too early and Bruce Wayne doesn't know who the flash is yet and that wouldn't need set up but then it was a dream well you said clever hint said movies to come this movie has hints of movies to come but there's nothing clever about any of it and there won't be any movies to come well this movie is terrible but if it gets if it makes a shitload of money it doesn't matter I think it will probably well I mean who doesn't want to see a Batman vs. Superman movie but this is murder man versus captain hypocrite which ones weights right Batman is definitely murder man there was like at like an hour and a half of boring scenes and then the minute you left exciting action shot is Batman runs into Superman with the way we find out that the boat is smuggling the Kryptonite then they're putting the Kryptonite onto like a truck and the smugglers are gonna take that to Lex Luthor and then Batmobile charges in and and just starts killing everybody cannons everybody decides he wants to steal the Kryptonite so he just murders everyone and loosely like the car jumps off of ramps and lands on people and he actually he looks a like a cord to another car drags the car around does like a like a spin thing so the car flies through the air to hit another car it's [ __ ] and I assume you were laughing during the sequence and then Superman who's had no qualms about murdering people up till now he lands like on the Batmobile like that will hit Superman just kind of bounces away and he tells Batman you better stop being Batman then he flies off was that the actual dialogue it was basically basically yeah next time they shine your light in the sky don't go to it the bat is dead bury it consider this mercy then then two scenes later off-camera Batman steals the Kryptonite off camera back from Lex Luthor back from Lex Luthor yeah how does he do that show it they really didn't show it just cut the Lex coming to the Lex chorim that's like like sirens and whatnot and and the cage the Kryptonite was in there's just like a Batarang in there yeah they have this whole action scene that's pointless because he's trying to steal the Kryptonite he doesn't steal the Kryptonite you could have had a whole action scene of him actually stealing the Kryptonite and they just don't have that hey Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent I love it I love bringing people together how are we Thanks well speaking of Lex Luthor what was his goal in this movie has no motivation he has less than his negative motivation why does he not like Superman I don't know because the movie needs to happen he says something like is he just jealous of his power that's not made clear yeah he has lots of link like diatribes about god's relation with humans and stuff but so I guess it's just related to that but it's all really really vague and it's just it's just there to set up a giant orc monster at the end of the movie for everyone to fight yeah well Lex reminded me more of the Joker than he did of Lex Luthor yes like an insane who comes across chaos was the polar opposite of Batman he he just wants chaos he'd be a half-decent Joker you're right he's a terrible Lex Luthor he should have been the Joker psychotic it's a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds I was gonna say the biggest problem but one of the many problems of the film is that this is not a likable Superman who would people would build statues to this is a Superman who who brought terror and destruction to Metropolis yeah and that's established in this movie there's so many people that are against him like it's not even like the last movie maybe they set that up and then this movie ignores that in this movie that's one of the major points is that people are really conflicted on how to feel about him there's in that spider-man's thing where people don't like him yeah and he decides to help even though people behind him people supposedly like Superman there's a memorial statue to Superman but who likes him everyone's protest I don't that's the film I mean you want what you need to do is you have Batman and Batman's mr. Dahmer right you want to contrast Batman of course with colorful Superman not Superman and muted colors who breaks people's necks flies through buildings that collapse on children and then murders people in the desert well there was one part I think it's when Lex Luthor Superman comes back and he throws Amy Adams off the roof yes somehow Superman knows she's falling thanks Superman he catches her and then he puts her down and comes back up and then he says to Lex Luthor I'd rather bring you in one piece than broken in a million pieces well he says something similar to Batman no I think it's more along lines of like I should bring you in a million pieces but I'm gonna do you this kindness Thank You Superman oh thank you for not breaking every one of my bones yeah as I complete Superman supposed to say hi Lex good evening to you you know I I mean okay here's the thing here's the thing corny Christopher Reeve Superman cannot exist in 2016 we know that right but this movie I don't know I'm like they're trying to do a thing where where they say what if Superman really existed in modern day there would be people going he's a he's a he's a monster he's here to destroy us or it would be everyone wouldn't be like look it's a bad it's a plane no it's some of it everyone wouldn't be like that there would be people on CNN arguing back and forth about this and that and there but we don't need that we live that every day over every movies are about escapism yeah and we don't need to see most miserable people on CNN and yeah complaining about politics and in a Superman movie especially yeah superhero movies especially like this movies constantly like I'm the new zoo their time I like terrorism terrorists they're seen buildings getting blown up and it's just like I didn't I don't want to watch a Superman movie yeah it's reminding me of how miserable real life is two days ago the [ __ ] Brussels Airport explode I was thinking of that during this movie yeah they show picture of Wonder Woman in Belgium yeah that's like as terrorists tears terrorism explosions and violence and everyone hates each other and and there's a part in the Amy Adams is in the desert in the beginning underdoing trying to interview a terrorist or some kind of terrorist general general something something and you know and then the the photographer with her is a secret CIA operative and then and then they're like when it blows brains out and I noticed you want your oh because you expected yes yes ma'am consider this mercy how can you not watch this movie and not root for Lex Luthor Lex Luthor's like yeah we need to have like a back-up plan for this insane alien who can destroy continents and I'm like yeah yeah Lex Luthor was the same esteem in this movie you know what the worst part about that is to the hypocrisy when when Superman is Clark Kent is driving Batman for his methods you do the same [ __ ] do you not I really liked the depressing montage of Superman saving people in there's like a rocket that's going up and explodes and then he and it's all done in like slow-motion you see something in the trailer like he's bringing down an exciting moment yeah like it looked like these are the moments that should be exciting action sequences and they're portrayed is like a burden for Superman and they're executing a way where it's like depressing to look at yeah you don't know a thing you never did do you know the oldest lie in America senator the devil's don't come from Hell beneath us they come from the sky Superman's motivation wasn't set up and Lex Luthor's motivation wasn't set up and that's like there's three characters in the movie and half to two-thirds of that don't work yeah Bruce Wayne Batman's motivations very well set up in the beginning I like that action sequence they had opened on the the retcon of Man of Steel yeah which is funny because I don't like like dumb people will say that was their intention all along but it's so clearly a response to the negative criticism that Man of Steel got or it's like okay now we're seeing all this destruction from the end of Man of Steel from Bruce Wayne's point of view and and it's horrible and that's his entire motivation for Haiti and Superman like got it but then the end of this movie is just the same level of destruction III I must disagree Jay they clearly said they landed on Rikers Island and it's uninhabited oh yeah they make a point of showing that there's no extras anywhere in the movie but it's still the same amount of destruction even even later on though when they have to lure doomsday back into the city there's a contrived reason to get him back into the city something of bloatware buildings Batman has a line there's nobody in this area yeah he looks right at the camera more an Alfred to control of the batplane and I thought oh my god now Alfred's gonna start murdering people Oh God Alfred's gonna kill that scene where it comes in the warehouse and beats everyone up everybody I think they probably died later of their injuries in the hospital he's shot he shot the one guys flame through her backpack oh yeah yeah and then it exploded it a fireball then the same room that Martha Kent was in Superman Superman's an elderly mother well a Batman jumped on top of her and protected her with a fireproof cape like that but the one guy I think he stabs the one guy in his shoulder to get back at him cuz he got stabbed in the shoulder but it looks like he just stabs him right in the heart and then and then after Martha Kent witnesses you know two guys died in a fire explosion she she was she mentions that how I knew you were Superman's friend because of the Cape I'm not traumatized that I that was horribly out of place but it was also like oh I remember humor it's the one moment of levity in the entire movie and it's at the most inappropriate time she would you I thought she was you the the I thought she was with you part was with semi humorous but there was like like pulsating techno music over do we do I just realized that doomsday was a walking discotheque everywhere he went like dancing electric we're shooting around well the movie is called Batman vs Superman people are there to see Batman fight Superman and it's it's one percent of the entire movie the first hour and a half hour 45 minutes is establishing why Batman hates Superman that's the opening scenes of the movie hate Superman is gonna fight Superman he fights them for five minutes and then they immediately turned to being best friends when Batman realizes that both of their moms are named Martha it makes some sense because Batman definitely has parental issues if you're gonna if you're gonna get to Batman's heart you're gonna move him that is how you would do it is that all I would take the whole movie is set up as like Batman wants to beat the [ __ ] out of Superman he thinks he's a threat he thinks he's a problem to the world that's the entire thing that's the whole first half of the movie I got Martha your elderly mother so go beat up Batman ya back rip his hat off and bring it back what Superman wouldn't do but I don't know why not in in all in all fairness he does fly over there with the intention of talking to Batman first to get him to help him fight lex luthor get his mom back Superman her Batman has has a glow bullets that shoot out crystal meth Oh Oh what kryptonite kryptonite and then like momentarily like weakens Superman and then he's got him down and he's punched him in the face like Spock and then he goes I'm just trying to save Martha no I said Martha where did you say that a boy okay Lois Lane and says Martha says mommy's name this is what happened then Bruce Wayne goes oh and then he backs off but really you should go okay that's a weird coincidence exactly oh speaking of that he's got a a staff that's fueled by kryptonite it's like a caveman spear it's a spear with kryptonite in it and that's what he's gonna use to kill Superman and then he realizes that they both had mom's name Martha and so now they're best buddies they don't love their mommies yes they both so he throws down the spear yeah and then they start fighting the cave troll from Lord of the Rings yes yes and Lois Lane for no reason takes the staff the Kryptonite staff and she throws it in some water and then Batman says in an unrelated scene in a completely different area I need that staff back yes and then they cut to Lois Lane and she goes back to get the staff that she just threw in the water she just knows that they need the staff back yes so she has to immediately go back and get the staff that she just threw in the water that she doesn't know they need yes Lois Lane is a crafty lady yes and she probably assumed that the monster was a Kryptonian monster she would just assume that she probably assumed that Lex Luthor got inside the Kryptonian ship you know found some alien goo in the body of Zod and cut his own blood and mixed his DNA with Zod's DNA somehow to create a giant monster it's a safe assumption yes why did he want to build a giant monster why do you want them to fight it they wanted to kill Superman but the question is why did he want to kill Superman and we really don't know didn't even think that Batman would really be able to kill Superman yes because even he's been manipulating Batman for the last two years sending the checks with the things oh yeah but Batman didn't even see them no until the last minute yes when he realized he was being manipulated yes Luthor like like let Batman have the Kryptonite them because they need an action scene with a Batmobile murdered 10 people like an action scene that where it was a setup and then they needed an off-screen action scene where Batman probably murdered 20 people yeah that's the worst scene about that the worst thing about that scene is that it's there's no point to it Batman murder aside Lex Luthor wanted Batman to beat Superman but he was also trying to make a weapon to beat Superman yes he really didn't want them to fight for no at all or did he know if you wouldn't like you I don't think you've ever known anyone like me when the early stuff with Wonder Woman's kind of need if you're just gonna hint at Wonder Woman in the future sure but when she shows up with the sword the hack at the disco monster and the rock music's playing everywhere so out of place in this film yeah yeah I was watching those scenes and I was like this could be fun in another movie do did you like the scene when when Wonder Woman looked on a laptop I know I'm the different like superheroes from the Superfriends or whatever yeah really you know about comics obviously this movie is setting up the Justice League Minh this movie Lex Luthor is apparently responsible for assembling all these characters and even giving them each individual logos oh he uses the logos which is neat I don't think it is that me I don't think well no but I don't think he was trying to assemble them I just keeping yeah he was keeping tabs on the and then Batman finds this and he's like he sends it in an instant message on AOL to very secure yeah CEO to Wonder Woman's laptop I don't know how he has her he has her instant messenger address why isn't Lex Luthor's computer that he hacked somewhere yeah yeah he's like whoa check out this so wait Lex Luthor was keeping tabs on other superheroes because he wanted to destroy them too because he wanted to be the most powerful I don't know they're doing it backwards Marvel started really slow iron men who at the time nobody give a [ __ ] about Iron Man Iron Man movies Thor he gives a [ __ ] about Thor Captain America I care about that and they build up to the Avengers that was done the road that was years ahead in the plan they're starting off with the Justice League this is basically the Justice League movie about see it is that out yeah Wonder Woman shows up and it's a half it's half the Justice League chair and now we're supposed to care about like the smaller ones it's like I don't think there's smaller ones though it's it's they started big and gonna get bigger roads I know the next film there well they're backtracking and there's making a Ben Affleck solo Batman movie which which I actually what's worse is they're making a Wonder Woman movie and I couldn't understand what that was saying she was a terrible actress well for me with Wonder Woman I feel like I have been given such a huge opportunity to show the strong beautiful side of women finally an athlete goes on Saturday Night Live and tries to act mmm just terrible I don't want to watch a feature with her and then then they're making an Aquaman movie which was laughable well when he comes he comes and he's like yeah and I'm like is this a joke they reminded we have the the the the video footage of the lion in the happening oh yeah where the guy feeds his own arms to the why I was laughing out loud yeah I also take I am NOT I have zero interest and I'm sure 90% of the world does too of seeing an Aquaman movie yeah a solo movie but if you want to make a Justice League movie that's fine but that's a dead end right there Justice League done outside of Batman and Superman DC is just full of really lame characters that's true you sound like you have a Marvel bias the only reason you dislike this movie is because your bias towards Marvel it has nothing to do with the fact that they're doing things intelligently and correctly and taking their time it's just that you you you have a bias against these DC movies and that Marvel movies are fun yeah what's fun in their superhero movies war to us consider this mercy hey I wanted it you'd be dead already separate movies are just angry people that yell and kill and punch each other each other they just knock over buildings they don't get that's a superhero when I see a superhero movie I want to come out of the theater crying well I have good news for you maybe like spider-man in this movie bombs enough they'll be desperate enough just to let Marvel to it Superman said Marvel Marvel would probably set up a fantastic Marvel vs. DC film sure yeah yeah they just give up all their rights ten billion dollars here are two guys [ __ ] terrible characters we tried we put all our faith in Zack Snyder I don't know why maybe you can do it better so I think with with Batman V Superman you're gonna get a movie that that certainly lives in a real world but certainly has AI I believe has much more sort of cinematic markers it would be like like Zack Snyder would direct half the film you know I'd like they would like go to one side of the room and it would be like all dark and violent the other side the exact side of the city Batman do you bleed tiny blood I want to see Zack Snyder's ant-man oh God my Batman would definitely uses ants to murder people oh the Zack Snyder absolutely yeah we've always imagined God is big but your God is small makes no sense that's we were talking before about DC E or whoever's in charge of these movies how they were saying they were concerned that this movie Batman versus around be too smart for audiences after seeing the movie that's such a [ __ ] joke you know wealth and power and the way power and genders fear and there were a lot of really ideas that were a little bit too smart for me to understand but that the movie was trafficking in and that I thought made it feel real to me and and smart and so I was even more proud to be part of it wait didn't Lex Luthor put a bomb in a wheelchair movie and he blew up Congress yeah yes okay Holly Hunter yeah yeah I wanted to blame Superman for it but it didn't work at all no no no it's another pointless scene in a series of pointless scene five minutes later I was expecting like did Superman run the Capitol down the door no we hate you Superman no five minutes later it was like well it was the bomb in the wheelchair and Superman is cleared of all charges so their focus group said people didn't like all that that collateral damage I mean I kind of appreciate their attempt to have all that pointless destruction in the Man of Steel movie have a purpose in this movie but it's still it's still just mindless destruction at the end of this movie maybe there's no innocent civilians being killed but it's still the same [ __ ] this is flames everywhere and it's the dullest [ __ ] fight yeah it's just Lee and it's it's so and we saw the movie in the worst conditions possible we saw it in 3d near the front row off to the side so everything's [ __ ] and and it's just like shaky-cam and like people flying everywhere getting thrown across the ground and the cameras following Amalur eating this it's a blurry mess and it's a fight I mean there's consequences in the sense that like well they don't stop the monster it'll destroy more of the city but there's no like in ER accomplished Jews day is such a compelling character yeah it's just a giant monster that they have to stop and that's the entire ending of the movie why wasn't it like I know doomsday is a thing but in in the logic of the movie like why wasn't it like a resurrected Zod that would have been neat I guess that arc that storyline has already been done but you'd like like a vengeful Zod like you yeah super mad where there would be some sort of connection between the villain and Superman I'm going to eat people then he picks up a bus filled with children and you leave those children alone Zod oh wait that's Superman Celie this children alone Superman Superman is about to hurl the bus at Zod I wasn't sure who to root for in this film Lex Luthor Lex Luthor yeah as crazy as he was maybe maybe laurence fishburne I was really concerned like that's a good article it's gonna be a great story oh I am monsters and fighting what's next what's on tomorrow's edition Clark Kent don't you write that story about that compelling vigilante in Gotham you cover the local high school basketball team like I told you to I know you've got a scoop on a very exciting and interesting case but we need to know of the the South Central High generals can take home the regional sub championship this year which brought the war to us you know you can't win this it's suicide that man had nothing to do with the doomsday fight Batman's the the most interesting superhero in a way because he's the most human he actually had nothing to do he shot doomsday with one more canister of the kryptonite dust and doomsday and it distracted him for a second while Wonder Woman was holding with the rope so both of them work together to slow down the monster just enough for Superman flying with them they were they worked as a [ __ ] team rich hell's the point of the movie if you work as a team Zack Snyder directs the next one he's really gonna wank off with the Jesus stuff when Superman gets resurrected it's gonna take place three days later do you think they'll follow the comic book version of the death of Superman no because that was really interesting he comes fight night so rich Evans our man lightning fast VCR repair employee trainee would you recommend this movie I would recommend watching like an edit of all of the Batman stuff okay that's fine so I recommend watching the film and leaving immediately after that scene the fight you got to sit through like in two hours before you get to that someone's out there figure out exactly when the fight starts and when it ends buy your ticket watch that part and leave even though Hawk and Superman and Batman beat Superman with the toilet I loved it Batman had two big armor on I did like the glowing eyes visually it was fine well how could Superman fight Batman or vice versa by punching him really hard and the fights over yeah no no no no but Batman had some tricks up his sleeve Oh like when he had him on a rope it was swinging around and smacking him into the [ __ ] walls that reminded me of Freddy vs. Jason remember that oh yeah he weakened Superman with kryptonite dust and then beats [ __ ] on him that's awesome why didn't he just make like a gun full of kryptonite bullets he only had so much rich it was a very rare commodity that was found in the Indian Ocean use the [ __ ] you made that spear out of and you make the [ __ ] that eyed bullets kryptonite brass knuckles and then there's no limit to how often you could punch Superman in the face you know the way you know the dust wears off but brass knuckles last forever you know the comics is a kryptonite ape there's an ape that shoots out kryptonite beams from his eyes okay because apparently at some point in DC's history there was an issue of a comic with an ape on the cover that sold unusually well for no good reason and there was a mandate that they had to have more Apes this is a fact I really want to see that memo this movie could have used more Apes I could have used more baboons driving things oh yeah yeah firing kryptonite dust that Superman movie was miserable the first hour and a half was boring the second hour the first half I was like the scenes are so like disconnected from each other that I was thinking like I just wanted to yell get on with it and then the second half of the movie I just wanted to keep yelling and if you could rewrite the script Abed give Lex Luthor motivation give him a reason for Jesus Christ we need another hour you know I know and fix Superman where he's not like a hypocrite monster where he is a contrast to Batman you can make this work you could make this movie work with a completely different story yes absolutely change story you could make it work yeah but if Superman is is Christopher Reeve Superman Batman wouldn't violently hate him so much yeah so you're [ __ ] either way I'm sorry I Brady the most talented screenwriter in the world could possibly write some kind of story out of this either way it's it's just a mess it's it's a big mess they didn't need Wonder Woman in there they didn't need any component of this mmm other than the the the freak show of Batman fighting Superman which got everyone into the circus tent this way to the egress it's such a shame it's such a shame I mean this is this is the this is that you know the big chance you know Superman versus versus Batman and as a huge huge fan of the Batman comic books it's like they can't shut up you're not a fan of the comic books everyone says they're a [ __ ] fan of the comic books you probably read to you don't have to saying Jenny [ __ ] yep they're a bunch of frauds a bunch of frauds but I am a fan of the comics oh yeah well how about you prove it I have the unofficial Batman trivia challenge test your knowledge and prove your real fan I thought it was a VCR repair manual but it's not yeah for years all of our VCRs came out looking like Batman start the trivia challenge Jay in the comics what is the Joker's real name when DC Comics created Arkham Asylum its name was inspired by what fictional person place or thing from the works of HP Lovecraft what does he win if he gets all these correct nothing Batman's cowl is equipped with a special kind of night vision lens what's it called in Detective Comics number 275 a strange accident left Batman's costume with zebra stripes turning him into the zebra Batman because being named after one animals sometimes isn't enough what superpower did he have during his temporary transformation a zebra Batman in Batman Inferno someone is masquerading as the dark knight who is it oh my god he just took off with mr. Tinkham oh my god he just took off with mr. plinkus VCR that's our meal ticket oh [ __ ] we should get up and run after him before it's too late what three famous items occupy the batcaves trophy room and are most often depicted by comic book artists a giant penny Joker's playing card a robotic Tyrannosaurus Rex that's right you

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 4,360,973

Rating: 4.8256745 out of 5

Keywords: red letter media, batman v superman, review, half in the bag

Id: VGsrMaxx8N4

Length: 46min 40sec (2800 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 27 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/adalhaidis]

Secret audio recording of Rich Evans watching Batman V Superman

That feel when you really would like to listen to that.

[u/Critical_Lit]

WHERE'S MY 45 MINUTE REVIEW OF MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 YOU GODDAMN HACK FRAUDS

[u/notbarrackobama]

murderman vs captain hypocrite

DO ME THIS MERCY AND BREAK MY NECK YOU CUNT

[u/[deleted]]

Anyone want the answers to the unanswered trivia questions posed?

Questions	Answers
What is Joker's real name?	Jack with no last name
Arkham Asylum's name is inspired by what works of HP Lovecraft?	Arkham Asylum is named after the Sanatorium in the fictional city of Arkham, Massachusetts
Batman's cowl is equipped with a special night-vision lens, what is it called?	Batwave
Zebra Batman has what powers?	Repelled anyone or anything that came near him as Zebra-Man had magnetic abilities.
In Batman Inferno, who is masquerading as the Dark Knight?	Joker

[u/[deleted]]

Can I just get super nerdy and ask about the continuity error at the beginning of the episode?

"Rich" was hired while "Mike" and "Jay" we're on a mountaintop at a gay retreat.

But last episode they went back in time and have yet to go to the mountain top.

Now if you say, this episode just jumps forward in time to the present, then I will ask.

What did "Jay" and "Mike" do that prevented the end of the world but still had them end up in a mountain top at the same time?

Detailed explanations are welcome.

[u/sch586]

Recruit more pimps apes and pushers! -DC Comics

[u/RadiantViper]

Best part of the review: http://i.imgur.com/OOuh1X1.jpg

[u/MetastableToChaos]

This was a fucking great episode.

[u/ThePondererTK]

Hey Fucko!!!! Who are you?? I really dig the return to a semi plot, references, callbacks!